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Dudley had a look on his face that Harry was entirely unfamiliar with. His eyes were open as wide as possible, pupils that tried to focus on something in the middle of them, but repeatedly failing with their task. The mouth slowly closed and opened as if trying to say something, yet undetermined if it would and unsure if to beg for mercy or if to threaten and solve the situation with the inclination of violence. It showed deep rooted fear and hatred of, for and anything to do with vegetables, a textbook trauma. It was one of the few things that truly frightened him, as he had no control over it and he couldn't order anyone to give him control.
Harry was fascinated, one of the rare moments of having total control over Dudley were such a wished for treat and it couldn't have happened at a better time. He would not let this opportunity go to waste.
"Yes Dudley, I can do that. And I will if you don't treat me with respect from now on.", Harry declared while looking directly into Dudleys eyes, which did their best to focus on his.
"No! I know that you can't do magic outside of your school. You'll get expelled, I know of the letter you got last year from your Mint registry!" Dudley spoke back to him, doing his best at pretending to be brave.
'Mint registry?... He can't even spell ministry', Harry thought, his time running thin as searched for a believable lie. Dudders had pushed his brain to its limits by now, fear and sugar did their best to help and he was far more likely to think with logic.
"Yeah, uh, Dumbledore gave me permission!" Harry said forcefully, hoping he wouldn't ask who Dumbledore was.
"What is a Dumbledore? I don't know what that is, tell me!" Dudley ordered.
"Dumbledore is the Headmaster of Hogwarts and a very powerful wizard.", Harry explained, feeling his plans melting away inside his mind.
"And why would he give you permission to do magic? What's so special about you?" Dudley asked, feeling that the situation was shifting in his favor.
"He gave me permission to do that because I'm the savior of the wizarding world!", Harry answered and already prepared for the pain Dudley would soon inflict on him.
"Show me the permission!", he barked back.
Harry closed his eyes, sighed and gestured to go to his trunk while Dudley went into a position which allowed him to pick up the bat faster. As Harry walked towards the truck, he suddenly sprinted and was out through the door before Dudley had turned around. Dudley grabbed the bat and took off after him, as fast as he could. Harry ran down the staircase, opened the front door but ran the opposite direction through the kitchen door.
Dudley got so far down the stairs that he saw the front door opening and thought he knew where Harry would be going. Just as he was about to head out of the door, he heard something crash in the kitchen.
Harry had gone through the door, opted to sprint into the garden and up the tree before Dudley would notice that Harry wasn't running on the street outside the house. He wanted to take a sharp left and then right, but got only to the sharp left part before he slipped on molten ice cream and crashed into the couch, tumbled over and landed in the pile of firewood next to the fireplace. That was not good.
The bloodlust took over in Dudley. He slammed the front door closed and ran to the kitchen. After stepping inside he noticed a puddle of vanilla, M&M and Caramel Ice Cream. A battle of wills over torturing Harry and eating the divine food began.
The underaged wizard had just managed to stagger on his feet as he spotted the inhuman proportions of Dudley contemplating what was more important in his life. This was his chance to get to the garden of heathen, if he didn't, the garden of Eden was reserved for him.
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"Vernon, is it really you? Do you know who I am?", Petunia asked, as she couldn't take any chances.
Vernon turned his head to look directly at her and observed everything he saw. Her eyes were filled with tears of hope, her mouth pressed closed and she swallowed, not being able to handle the nervousness. The hands were trembling with anticipation and her entire body tensed as he spoke.
"Yes, you are my wife Petunia Dursley. You are the mother of our son Dudley and we live in Privet Drive Number 4, Little Whinging in Surrey.", he spoke with an unnerving calmness in his voice.
Petunia swallowed, her legs started to shake, her hands tensed around each other and she hugged him while sobbing in his shoulder.
Vernon put his arms around her and hugger her too, although a bit harder. Then even more and more after that.
She took her arms off him and started to push against: " Vernon….Vernon I cant brea…. Help!". She struggled and flailed her arms around, desperately searching for the remote nurse call button. Nearly blacked out she found it and pressed all the buttons on it as hard as she could.
In the hospital, 17 nurses and 8 doctors rushed to the room in which Vernon was placed, expecting the apocalypse. When someone utterly abuses the remote call, it usually meant DEFCON 1, but if the Dursleys did it, the 4 riders of the apocalypse were scared. In only the few hours the Dursleys were in the hospital, 25 personnel had a mental collapse. They were all thankful that their spawn was not with them, as it would have resulted in open warfare. In 1980, when Dudley was born, the Hospital management had 3 rooms built, their only purpose being housing the Dursleys. Those rooms were built entirely out of stainless steel and bullet-proof glass, except the bed covers. The vacuum of space could be created in an instant, chlorine gas would be pumped in to kill of any bacteria (or the Dursleys) and it could be heated up to 1000° degree Celsius to get rid of any carbon-based matter.
Seeing Petunia nearly break in half made the personnel stop, it was one of their many daydreams. One doctor that couldn't get in the door wasn't in trance and screamed so loud that all the others woke up again. He reminded them of the lawyer the Dursleys employed, who many of them suspected to be a Lord of Hell on vacation.
So they got to work, all the nurses grabbed his arms and pulled, while the doctors used all of the tools available to them, including a hidden-in-the-room sledgehammer and chainsaw. What followed was a scene even Voldemort would have screamed in terror off and ran away, noticed that the memory couldn't be obliviated, gathered and destroyed all of his horcruxes and begged Dumbledore for the sweet release of death.
Vernon soon visited the land of unconsciousness, although with a rather unconventional method and Petunia was dragged to safety, while the Doctors debated if the chlorine gas should be used.
6 liters of adrenaline were pumped into Petunia, her soul slammed back into the body and she screamed in joy, as hell was fairly unpleasant, especially how dirty and filthy it looked.
The Doctors, chiefly the one who got his ear bitten off, reconsidered their career choices and met in the cantina, which served as an impromptu war-room. The nurses who were not paralyzed joined them and came to the conclusion that the two couldn't not reside within such a close vicinity. A plan on how to get them out of the building, some suggested of the planet, was formed and would go in effect after a well-deserved break.
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Harry managed to dodge the Fruit bowl Dudley threw at him as well as the baseball bat and ran into the garden. The tree was well used to Harry being on top of it, so well that it grew helpful branches on the spots Harry used most often to climb up.
Dudley knew that Ice Cream didn't run away and so he went after Harry first, at least the things he threw went after him first.
"Dudley, if you burn down the tree, the house and garden will catch fire too! Mommy will get mad at you, believe it or not, they are more important to her than you!", Harry screamed as he saw Dudley get the gasoline can for the lawnmower.
One of the few tools in the garden shed the young Dursley actually used, for example to set fire to a small stream after Piers told him of something similar he saw in a movie. But the small fire was very ambitious and wanted to stand out among the trees of the forest, so it did. Naturally Harry got the blame for that, although he was at Hogwarts while it happened.
Harrys words of dire consequences didn't stop him, as he started to pour it around the tree and into the flower bed.
Harry put the weight of a Dudley beating against the burned down house and after consideration, the beating it was. He jumped from the tree and made himself noticeable to a manic looking Dudley by ramming into him. Dudley dropped the can, which landed in the bed of his Mothers most precious flowers, causing irreparable damage.
"Get it over with.", Harry said with his eyes pressed together.
"Finally!", Dudley said and started, still with his manic grin.
Dudley slammed Harry over the head and he collided with the dirty ground. Then he boxed, kicked and sat on the lying boy's stomach until he himself got stomach ache, then he stopped and headed for the kitchen to relief his pain with Ice Cream.
In the garden, Harry was only semiconscious of his surroundings, but he noticed that the beating was shorter than usual. Dudley probably had less energy after the prolonged chase.
Still far too exhausted to stand up and walk away, he daydreamed about a Landmine in Dudleys toilet, Vernon with an unguided and starving Dragon and Petunia being crucified in her garden.
'Vernon and Petunia… what happened today?' Harry asked himself while watching the bees avoiding the gasoline-soaked spot in the garden. He would probably be blamed for that too, Life is so unfair.
After about 3 hours, according to the suns point on the sky, Harry was conscious enough to get up and go back inside. Very early on, he leaned how to read time by looking at the sun, as a pre-schooler he had to spend an always very specific amount of time in the garden working to get his food. He didn't get told how long he had been working and so learned to figure it out by himself. If he did 10 minutes longer of shorter than the amount he was ordered, he wouldn't get anything to eat.
Dudley was sitting in front of the TV and the rest of the kitchen looked like Hiroshima in 1945.
The door of the freezer was disconnected from said freezer and somehow on top of the refrigerator. The table was turned 180 degree horizontal and the sink filled with a brown and very stinky liquid. Everywhere in the room was strawberry jam, literally everywhere, no surface was not in one way or another covered with it. Everywhere. The lamps where covered in jam, Dudley was entirely covered in jam, the formerly white ceiling was now red, sticky and a few times it dripped and the entire oven was jam, it was simply jam. Dudley had overdone this time, he really went last-day-on-earth style full on out. Harry sighed, trudged through the knee-high jam to the door and went up to his room.
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Petunia was tied to her bed with all the straps available in the hospital. She wasn't moving as ferociously as before, but still a danger to anyone not armored.
The nurse that lost the Rock-Paper-Scissor game was sent in to bring her the news.
"Misses Dursley, I have a few news concerning your husband. The Doctors have decided to fly him to a clinic with special neurosurgery. There he will be operated, his entire potential in terms of rage has somehow been unlocked and he has been deemed a threat to the nation, the national community of mental health fully agrees and supports the procedure. We couldn't wait for you to wake up and hear the proposition, the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom held an emergency meeting and overwrote any and all complaints you or your husband should have with that! We suspect that the taser that has been found in the room is responsible for that. As for his mental impairment, that has been cured. I can imagine that that must be good news for you." The nurse said to an eagerly listening Petunia.
Petunias first instinct was to tell and show her what happens with people that disrespect her so severely, but had found herself unable due to far to strong straps. Far more interested in how Vernon was doing, she listened instead of talked.
"And what will they be doing with him at this special clinic?" Petunia asked.
"He will receive a Lobotomy", the nurse answered, unable to hide the giant smile on her face. "It will cure his anger problem, as regular therapy was deemed unsafe for any living and even dead therapists."
Petunia was not pleased to hear that. Yet she wasn't totally against it, in the form she witnessed him before, the freak wouldn't survive the day and he was an undeniably valuable addition to the household, in terms of work and entertainment.
'The household… DUDLEY! Oh my dear God, how long has it been since I called? The house must have burnt down or exploded or… He let out the freak.', Petunia imagined Harrys in front of the burning house, laughing. A look of pure hatred formed her face.
The nurse backed out, slowly, as if not to wake the sleeping Tiger. She wondered what had happened in the head of the Dursley matriarch.
"How did it go? Did she say something? We couldn't make anything out, was she even awake?", the other nurses asked when she returned.
"She just asked what will happen with the man and after I told her, a look of pure hatred was on her face. I got scared and left the room, you have to understand that she looked ready to rip the straps apart and kill me. It was horrible", she sobbed into a comforting older nurse.
All the nurses understood. Petunia Dursley was not to ever be trifled with when it came to her husband. All the forces of nature cower in fear of her and her will. Death and Destruction would be far too nice words to describe the horrors unleashed by her.