"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Piper continues to chant in a whisper, trying to come up with some form of plan while Alex reaches over and grabs the magazine that pictures the two of them leaving the blonde's apartment building.
"Sources close to the pair claim that Miss Chapman has been plotting to break down Miss Vause's engagement and seems to be doing so by taking the role as her mistress," Alex reads, startled by the article's content. "This is bullshit," she adds, waving the magazine around.
"We need to get out of here," Piper voices, her panic evident.
"You wait here while I buy these."
"Alex - we don't need to buy these shitty tabloids. They're doing nothing but putting a strain on our personal lives."
"I know that," the brunette answers, grabbing a copy of each publication along with the blonde's copies of Vogue before heading to the counter to purchase the sources of reading.
"I guess packing a disguise might be something I should start doing," Piper voices as they leave the shop, deciding to head back to Alex's office instead of risk being seen out having lunch together in public.
"I don't get why everyone cares all of a sudden? So what - we spent a day together and now all of a sudden you're my mistress?" the brunette questions in distress, knowing that continuing to live her life in the shadows is something that'll be much harder to carry out successfully from now on.
"Let's just wait until I hear from my publicist. I can make a statement or something."
"Saying what, Piper, because you and I know that what they're writing isn't too far from the truth?" Alex whisper-shouts, growing angry at how her day is turning out.
"I don't know. I'll figure something out."
The pair continue towards Alex's office, and upon turning onto the street of the building, the pair immediately see a group of people holding cameras outside the premises.
"What the fuck?" Piper voices, staring over at the group.
"Great - now they know where I work."
"It's not you they're looking for, Al."
"Oh, really? Then why is my face plastered all over magazines? I guess it's just a coincidence."
"Can you not start this in the middle of the street? Next minute, someone will be recording our conversations."
The tense atmosphere between the pair heightens upon growing closer to the building - especially when they're spotted approaching from a distance.
Flashing cameras snap images of the two women walking down the pavement - both ensuring to keep a safe distance from one another, and when they reach the entrance, it's a near struggle to get to the door.
A series of questions are throw the pair's way by several different journalists holding out microphones:
"Piper - what's it like to be the other woman?"
"Is it true you're dating your agent?"
"Aren't you wearing your engagement ring?"
It reaches the point in which the building's security storms out, forcing the media to move out of the way to allow the women to enter unharmed. By the time they reach Alex's office, they both take a seat next to one another and sit in silence, confused by everything that had just happened.
Hearing light sniffling coming from the woman next to her, Alex turns to see Piper trying to hold back a flood of tears - obviously overwhelmed by the shitstorm she's found herself a member of.
"Hey - don't cry," the brunette reasons, shuffling closer to the blonde to pull her into a hug.
Piper - unable to speak through her emotions - rests her head in the older woman's neck, feeling the recent stress of the morning get to her.
"I'm sorry," the blonde mumbles into Alex's neck, tears wetting the skin. "We should have waited."
"Don't be ridiculous, Pipes; you have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, it's my fault for starting this when I hadn't officially ended things with Sylvie."
"You're gonna have to tell her you know."
"I think she already does know," Alex comments, causing the blonde to lift her head.
"She can't. No one does."
"Pipes, she practically accused me of wanting to marry you, suddenly disappears, and then we all of a sudden have this mass media attention. Don't you think it's kinda strange all of them reporters knew where we'd be that morning?"
"I don't even know how they figured out where I live."
"But Sylvie does…"
"So you think this was all her?"
"Come on, Piper: 'sources close to the pair' - who the fuck else would go to the press about something like this unless they had a motive?"
"We can't be certain it's her though."
"No - we can't, which is why I'm gonna meet with her and make a deal."
"That's stupid, Al. What could you possibly say: 'hey I'm sorry I'm leaving you and that I smashed your laptop… by the way can you stop selling stories to the press about me?' like she's going to pity that."
"Well what do you suggest we do?"
"Talk to my publicist and go from there. Meanwhile, we can't be seen together."
"Piper-"
"No, Alex. This is my fault that this is happening to you, so it's my responsibility to stop it."
"How very chivalrous of you."
"When's Sylvie back?"
"Tomorrow."
"And you're gonna talk to her then."
"If she comes home, yeah."
"Okay. I'm meeting my publicist at her house, so I'll call you later."
"Sure," Alex stands, taking the blonde's arm to pull her up. "I think you should head out the back in case they're still out the front."
"Thank you, Alex," Piper holds the older woman's wrist, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "I love you."
"Love you too," the brunette smiles. "Let me know if anything else happens."
"Will do."
With that, the blonde leaves, sneaking out the back entrance of the building, while Alex finds her calm demeanor crumbling, pretty sure about who had tipped off the press.
"You know that's the wisest option in this situation, Piper," Lorraine - the blonde's publicist - voices from where she's seated opposite the younger woman at her dining table.
"I know," the blonde bows her head, desperately wanting to tell the dark-haired woman - one of which she considers a close friend - the truth about herself and Alex to get the real advice she needs, yet knows she can't - it's a discussion she needed to have with someone that isn't linked to her in a working environment.
"You don't seem too thrilled about it."
"I'm not exactly enjoying the situation I'm currently involved," Piper looks up, watching the woman opposite her smirk as she puts down her tea cup. "I don't want it to backfire on the book sales."
"That won't happen, Piper. If anything, I think this little scandal seems to be working in your favour. I know you two are just friends, but putting it out there that that's all you are should make this all better. I can't say it'll make it go away, but it should help."
"What do you mean it's working in my favour?"
"You're young, successful, attractive, just came out as bisexual, and have been seen with a hot woman. Social media's loving it."
"Don't tell me you've been reading all of those comments too," Piper probes.
"I may have dabbled though some of them," the older woman admits, bursting out into a laugh as the blonde rolls her eyes, trying to mask her smile.
"So you think that'll work?" Alex asks from where she's propped up in bed, leaning against her headboard.
"Well, it's the only option we've got," the blonde replies from where she's in a similar position, smiling through the camera lens of their FaceTime call.
"What do you think of this one?" the blonde asks, flipping the camera around to show the screen of her laptop that's resting on her thighs.
It's an image of the two of them - one they had taken together the night Alex had stayed around hers, except the pair were laughing at a dropped piece of pizza that had landed on the blonde's white t-shirt while the photo was being taken. The picture is one of Piper's favourites that she has of the two of them, and given the advice she had received, they decided that addressing the matter is something they should do.
Laughing loudly from her end, Alex nods.
"Yeah, that's perfect. What're you gonna put? 'Friends with benefits' with the word friends emphasised?"
"I can't put that," the blonde chuckles, appreciating the creativity. "How about friends without benefits," she adds, raising an eyebrow at the idea.
"Nice. I vote for that one."
"I'll upload it a bit later," Piper says, flipping the screen back to her face. "Have you heard from her yet?"
"She sent a short text to say she'll be back by the morning whatever that means."
"At least she might be willing to talk."
"That depends on how the conversation starts and if she admits to what she did being fucked up."
"About that," Piper begins, biting on her lip. "Lorraine was saying we're a hot topic at the minute which might be good for the book."
"You've always been a hot topic, Pipes; people just want to know more about your private life."
"Well they're definitely trying their best with that one," the blonde agrees as the sound of typing fills the call. "Listen to these tweets: 'I don't know about you, but Piper Chapman fucking a woman is what gives me faith in humanity'; 'Am I the only one that thinks specs is hotter than the blonde one?'; 'If Vauseman don't come out as a couple, then I'll shave off my eyebrows'. These people are fucking crazy, Al."
"Now I feel bad for that girl's eyebrows," Alex chuckles, before pausing. "Do they really call us that? Vauseman?"
"Do you not check your phone?" Piper sarcastically asks - the new nickname being something she had been reminded of several times throughout the last few days. "People can't get enough of 'Vauseman'."
"At least it's positive. Maybe this will be good for you. Now all we need to do is make and leak a sex tape - that shit'll give you numbers."
"Really, Al?" Piper questions, scrunching her eyebrows.
"Hey, there's a reason I only work with book writing, okay."
"I should really get going and put out our damage control."
"Yeah, yeah, go do your thing. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes."
"Thanks. Call me tomorrow."
"Will do, Pipes."
The call soon ends, and Piper opens her Instagram, selecting the desired picture from her camera roll and types in the planned caption along with adding in the hashtags: #shesmyagent #buymybooks.
What she had written in itself makes her chuckle - something that, for the first time since the influx of images and articles about herself and Alex had risen, gives the blonde a genuine source of happiness.
She then goes to post the same on Twitter, and after minutes of doing so, her notifications shoot through the roof. It's in this given moment that she considers getting a second phone, knowing that despite attempting to make the situation die down, it doesn't look like it's going to be doing that anytime soon.
Her scrolling is interrupted by the sound of her ringing phone, to which she answers a call from her best friend.
"Polly!"
"So I have to read all this shit about you to know that you're still alive?" the high-pitched voice shrills down the line.
"I know. I'm sorry. There's just been a lot on my plate recently."
"Is it true?"
"Which part of it? The fact that I slept with Alex or the fact that I'm the other woman?"
"You know what I mean, Pipes. Does she like you back?"
Piper contemplates her answer for a second, knowing she wouldn't want the real truth to spread around, yet in feeling confident that she can trust her best friend, the blonde opens up, explaining the recent turn of events that lead to where she's currently positioned with Alex.
"You think lying will help?"
"We're technically not lying, Pol. We didn't sleep together, and I'm not her mistress," the blonde cringes, hating the idea. "She's gonna talk to her tomorrow and then we can go from there."
"You can always call me about stuff like this, Piper. It's not like I'll send your story to the press," the brunette laughs down the phone, obviously entertained by the idea.
"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you, but Alex thinks it was Sylvie that told the press where we were."
"That's a smart move though," Polly adds.
"Really? You're not even going to try and act like you're sorry."
"You fucked her fiancée, so I guess she's allowed to be mad."
"We didn't fuck, Polly!" Piper shouts despite knowing her best friend is only kidding.
"I know," the brunette laughs. "I need to go, Pipes, Pete's just got back."
"I'll call you soon."
"You better," Polly replies, before the call ends.
Alex wakes up with the feeling of a set of arms wrapping around her torso, and leaning backwards into the feel of the other body, she feels alarmed at realising who it is in the bed with her.
"Hey," Sylvie whispers into Alex's ear, running her hand along the taller woman's hip.
"Hey," the brunette replies, turning over on her side.
"Missed you," the red-haired woman voices, moving to kiss the taller woman.
"What're you doing?" Alex asks, moving her head backwards, creating a safe distance between them.
"Can't I show my fiancée some affection."
"We need to talk about that."
"Starting with what I read this week or about the laptop smashing element of it?"
"I know it was you," the brunette voices, lifting up her body with her elbow. "Why the fuck would you do that?"
"Like I would ever do that, Alex."
"Cut the bullshit, Sylvie. You hate Piper. You're doing this to get at her just as much as you're trying to get at me. So what do you want?"
"I'm not doing this here with you."
"Oh so you're gonna run away from the situation."
"I'm going to wait downstairs. Gives you time to come up with a game plan with your girlfriend," Sylvie replies with a sarcastic, spiteful high-pitched voice.
Now alone in the room, Alex falls onto her back, knowing that the conversation that's about to take place could really make or break her.