Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I only own Megan Black.

Enjoy!

That could have been Jake and I. We could have been married. I could have been pregnant with his child.

Maybe all we ever needed was to have a taste of life without each other. Maybe that's what we both needed to realise that we were meant to be.

Just a simple touch from him sent my body into a frenzy. The kiss we had shared had set my body on fire. Nobody had EVER kissed me like that. Of course nobody had kissed me since Jake, but even he hadn't been that passionate before.

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness, it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

Two days had passed since the night at the bar. I didn't call Jake and he didn't call me.

I had kept myself busy with Rosalie. She and I had spent the last two nights slumped on the sofa, eating ice cream and watching soppy movies.

Why was it that Nicholas Sparks had the ability to make every girl cry with every movie that had been adapted from his books? Of course we'd already seen each one at least a dozen times, but they never failed to melt us completely.

I tried the best I could to hide my heartbreak from Rosie but she knew me better than that. She never made me talk and I appreciated that. What was there to say? That I was completely, irrevocably in love with my ex boyfriend but it would never happen because he was married.

Of course I had told Jake that I would stop by the garage and say hi but to be truthful, I wasn't sure if I could. Every moment I spent with him reminded me just how good we were together. Every time his skin brushed against mine I remembered how amazing it was to be in his arms.

Was it fair of him to ask that of me?

I knew that I wanted Jakes friendship, even if I couldn't have anything else from him. Everything he had told me had now sunk in. He married Megan because she was pregnant but having sex with her was his own doing. I wish I was cruel enough to believe that he deserved the mess he was in. Wrap it before you whack it. That was the saying right?

I couldn't help but imagine a little Jake running around. There was no doubt that the kid would have been breathtaking. Megan was stunning, although it pained me to admit it. I wondered if there was different side to her. An ugly side. Nobody was perfect, right?

"Honey, we need to get out of this house today" Rosie suggested.

"I know" I replied, sighing in defeat.

"Well, I think its time you went to see Jacob" She muttered.

My head snapped up at her suggestion. Was this girl for real?

"You heard me, I think you need to see him"

"Are you serious? Do you know how difficult it is to be in the same room as him?" I seethed.

"Yes I know that, but you need to get it over with. If needs be, you have to lay what you two shared to rest" She encouraged, placing a caring hand on my shoulder.

She was right. Of course she was. What I was doing to myself wasn't healthy. Jake and I needed to let it go.

He needed to release me.

"Okay" I whispered.

Rose stood up and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I've laid your clothes out for you on your bed. Get dressed and ill take you over there, okay?"

I simply nodded and made my way to the bathroom.

I dressed myself in a simple pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a red v-neck sweater. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun and added a little mascara to my lashes before heading downstairs.

"Put your shoes on and ill go wait in the car" Rosalie pushed.

I knew she wanted to get me there as soon as possible in case I changed my mind. I slipped on my red wedged heels, grabbed my purse and made my way out to the truck.

"Ready?" Rose asked as I buckled up.

"As ill ever be…" I muttered to myself.

The drive over was quiet. Silent in fact. Rose had found a business card with the address on, so we knew exactly where to go.

She didn't utter a word to me. I guess she knew that I needed to think about what I was going to say once I got there. Knowing me, I'd forget my words and melt into him once again.

"We're here" She whispered, pulling in front of Black Auto shop.

I took a deep breath and opened to door.

"Call me when you need me to come get you, okay?"

"Thank you" I said, forcing out a smile.

I stepped out of the car and closed the door behind me. There was no turning back now.

"Bella!" I heard someone shout as Rose pulled away.

I turned around to see that it was Quil.

"Hey Q. Is Jake here?" I asked.

"Sure, he's round the back. Come on, ill show you" He offered, wrapping a secure arm around my shoulders.

We walked around the side of the building and round to the back.

"He's just over there, go on over" He nudged before walking away.

As I walked over to the direction I had been pointed in, I spotted a pair of jean clad legs peeping out from underneath a metallic black bonnet.

Definitely Jake.

"Jake" I muttered.

I watched as he pushed himself out from under the car. I swear I nearly died right there.

There he was, with nothing but a pair of low slung jeans hanging on his hips. His bare chest was covered with a mixture of sweat and motor oil. He had never looked sexier.

"Hey Bells" He welcomed, smiling that smile at me.

God, this was going to be so hard.

"Did you have time to talk?" I asked, shuffling on the heels of my feet.

"Sure" He replied, wiping the oil from his hands on the t-shirt hanging from his pocket.

He motioned me over to a workbench outside the back door of the shop.

"Sit, I'll get us some sodas" He told me.

I did as I was asked as he reached into a cooler, taking out two cokes and handing one to me.

"So, what's up?" He asked me, gulping down his soda.

I was mesmerized watching him. Such a simple thing as drinking turned me on beyond belief. Hell, he looked so damn good that he could be the new spokesperson for it.

"Um…I just thought we should talk" I stuttered.

Jake chuckled lightly before leaning on the bonnet of the car, folding his beautifully toned arms across his chest. How could one man be so perfect?

"Okay, about what?" He asked again.

"I…um…I've been thinking about everything" I managed, having no idea what to say next.

Jake just nodded, urging me to carry on.

"I don't even know how to start…" I trailed off, biting my bottom lip.

"You know you can tell me anything Bells" He soothed.

I had a feeling that he wasn't going to like what was about to come out of my mouth.

"I'm leaving Jake" I whispered.

Then there was silence. Nothing. Not a word was uttered for a few seconds.

Seconds that felt like years.

"Jake?" I urged, desperate for him to say something.

He looked up at me, his eyes shimmering. Was he crying?

"Just go then. Isn't that what you do best after all?" He sniped.

My mouth dropped open slightly. I was shocked at his switch in moods.

"You married somebody Jake! You cant just expect me to hang around watching you two play happy families! Or is that what you want? Do you want me to suffer? Do you want to punish me for leaving you?" I shouted at him.

He didn't even flinch, but he didn't take his eyes off of mine either. Jake just stood there staring a hole right through me. I couldn't read the emotion in his eyes. His jaw was set tightly and I could just make out the pulsing in his throat.

"Jake…" I whispered, silently begging him to talk.

Before I knew it he had me pushed up against the side of the car, his arms pinned either side of my shoulders. His warm breath brushed across my face. He smelt delicious.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trembling beneath him.

I looked deep into his eyes and all I could see was lust. Pure, unadulterated lust.

"Do you having any idea how much I have wanted you since you got back? Seeing you walking around here in your stilletos and your tight clothes. Your driving me crazy Bella. All I want to do is have you. Just once. I've spent the last three years wondering what we would have been like together, what it would have felt like. Please Bella, just one time?" He begged.

Was he crazy? Like out of his mind crazy!

"W…what?" I stuttered.

"Please Bella, I'm begging you"

"Are you insane?" I asked him, unable to believe what I was hearing.

"No. I know you want me too, I see the way you look at me. Do you still dream of giving yourself to me?" He asked me, trailing his index finger along my jaw line.

"I…Of course. You're the only person I've ever wanted to give myself to, but your married now!"

"Its always been you Bella, always you" He whispered, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.

I thought about what he was proposing to me. One night. Just Jake and I, doing the things I always wanted to do. Yes, he was married but did that really matter in the grand scheme of things. It would just be one night together.

Bittersweet bliss.

Could I do it? Could I have everything I craved for just a few hours and walk away not wanting more? Or would I find myself even more tied to him than I did before?

"How….People would find out" I stammered nervously.

"Let me take you away for the night, we'll go to Seattle. I'll book a hotel and we'll spend the evening there. Please say yes, will you come?" He whispered into ear, nipping my lobe lightly.

Yes. That was all it would take.

"And it would just be one time?" I asked, almost hopeful that he'd say no.

"Just once" He whispered back, his breath tickling my neck.

"And if I agree, you'll let me walk away completely?" I asked him.

Of course he was by no means forcing me into this. I wanted it just as much if not more than him. I just needed to test out the waters.

"I'll let you go"

"Okay, I agree" I told him confidently.

Jake pulled his face away from my neck and looked me dead in the eye. That fuck-me smile glowering down at me. I could easily hop right on him right then and there.

"Tonight?" He asked hopefully.

"That's a little soon" I whimpered.

"Come on Bells, don't make me wait any longer" He pouted.

I couldn't help but let a small laugh escape my lips. He was just the cutest.

"Tonight" I agreed.

Jake pulled me up into a bone crushing hug, I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly.

"I'll text you the details. Will you be able to meet me there?" He asked me.

I nodded and tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear.

"Okay, well I'd better finish up here or I'll never get off" He told me, making his way back round to the bonnet of the car.

"Text me" I called as I walked away.

What the hell did I just agree to?

Here I was, sitting up on my bed sobbing like a baby. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I had wanted Jake from the moment I met him. The moment our eyes met on First Beach all those years ago, I knew he was the one. I knew that nobody else would even come close.

I was offering myself up on a plate for him and he was doing the same for me. In a strange way, I knew that I wouldn't be able to move on until I knew what it felt like with him. I needed to feel Jake in every way possible.

I guess some people would frown upon our impending actions, but to hell with them. They didn't understand. They never could.

This was about what Jake and I wanted from each other. Married or not, to me he was still my Jake. I had pushed Megan to the back of my mind. I wouldn't think of her and I'd hoped he wouldn't either. Selfish, I know.

"Bella, are you up there?" I heard Rose call up the stairs.

"Yeah!" I hollered back.

Then came the other predicament. Should I tell her? Would she scold me and tell me I was being ridiculous? Or would she take everything I had told her over the years into account and understand why this needed to be done?

"I was worried about you" She told me, sitting down on the bed beside me.

I just shrugged and stared down at the blanket beneath me.

"You've been crying. Honey, what's wrong?" She asked me, wrapping an arm around my waist.

Rose was my best friend and I knew that if I didn't tell her she'd be hurt.

"I need to tell you something" I whispered.

"Okay….What is it?" She asked, sounding a little apprehensive.

How to say it? Oh by the way Rosie, Jake and I are heading off to a hotel to have seedy night of passion while his wife sits at home….

"Its about Jake and I"

"Has that idiot come to his senses yet?" She scoffed.

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"I'm going to spend the night with him" I mumbled.

I heard her take in a sharp breath.

"Honey, do you think that's a good idea?" She asked.

"I don't know, but I know it needs to be done. I cant move on from him until I know what it feels like. I need to feel what she gets to have, every night in their bed" I explained.

Rose squeezed me gently, laying her head on my shoulder.

"You're my best friend. If you need to do this, I'll stand by you. Just know that if afterwards you need somebody to talk to or even just to cry to, I'm here for you"

"Thank you for understanding Rose. I know what I'm doing is beyond selfish but…" She cut me off quickly.

"You don't need to explain yourself to me Bella. Do you want my help getting ready?" She asked me.

I was taken aback by her understanding nature. All I could do was nod.

Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled away from Rose and brought it up into view.

One New Message.

I clicked the green button and read it.

Meet me at the Marlot hotel at 8?

Thank you so much for this, Bells.

You have no idea what this means to me.

See you later

Jake x

I did know what it meant to him, because it meant everything to me.

"That was him?" Rose asked quietly.

I simply nodded before writing my reply.

I'll be there.

Bells x

I pressed the send button before stuffing my phone back into my pocket.

Everything in me wanted this night to be perfect. Just Jake and Bells, like old times.

"Rose, can you dye my hair for me?" I asked her, hopefully.

"Of course" She beamed back at me.

I was possibly the luckiest girl on the planet. She was always there for me, whenever I needed her.

"Well, lets get a move on Swan!"

Three hours later, after a lot of preparation I was ready to go.

My hair was now back to my original deep chocolate colour, which I hadn't realised how much I'd missed until now. My make up was light and natural.

I was wearing a deep plum mini dress with a deep v-neck that ducked down way past my breasts. The sleeves were long and flowed gracefully down to my elbows. I matched it all off with a pair of simple black high heels, with the signature red sole of course.

"You look stunning Bella" Rose gushed, admiring her work.

"Thank you" I whispered.

I checked myself over one more time before making sure I had everything I'd need for the night. I had packed a pair of pyjamas, knowing that I probably wouldn't need them.

"Okay, are you ready?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm ready. Walk me out to the car?" I asked her.

She smiled at me and nodded.

We walked down to the car. I shoved my bag into the trunk and made my way round to the drivers side where she was waiting.

"Call me if you need me" She told me, pulling me in for a hug.

"I will" I assured her.

"Have a good night, Bells. Cherish every moment" She whispered, pulling away from the hug.

I nodded and wiped the stray tear away from my eye.

"Bye Rosie" I called as I closed the door behind me.

I watched as she walked back into the house. I could only pray that I wouldn't end up breaking down on her twenty four hours from now.

The drive over to Seattle was nerve wracking to say the least. As you can tell by my occupation I'm not afraid to take my clothes off, but in front of Jake was a totally different ball game. He meant everything to me and the thought of being naked before him left me breathless. I never thought I'd have the chance to be with him this way, especially after everything I'd discovered when I got back here.

I would do exactly as Rose had said.

I would cherish every moment I had with him and I would remember it forever.

I know that some of you will be disappointed with Bella's intentions, but just remember that she is desperately clinging onto anything she can get from him. If anyone is at fault here, its Jake. As much as I love his character in this, sometimes I just wanna give him a slap!

I have been on the receiving and giving end of cheating. Neither one is pleasant. So I apologise now if I have offended anyone!

Please review and let me know what you thought of this.

Thank you for reading x