Here's another update!
Do I have work to do? Yes.
Am I writing this instead of doing my work? Yes.
I think that sums up my current motivational levels as of recent...
Let me know what you think in the reviews!
Three days later, Alex finds herself walking down the street, trying to keep her head down while wearing sunglasses to not only block out the sun, but to try and not draw attention to herself.
Her plan, however, wasn't working, as for the second day running, getting into and out of her workplace wasn't so easy. She's been wary of who was watching her in and around the streets, and despite having security based at the front of the building she works in, there seems to always be a swarm of people either trying to take her picture or ask invading questions.
Piper, on the other hand, didn't seem to be in as bad of a position. Being that her book had just come out, much of the attention was on the things she had written, rather than the things that had been written about her. They'd spoken on the phone several times since they'd last saw each other in person, and despite the blonde telling her girlfriend that everything would pass over, Alex was beginning to grow increasingly agitated that not only couldn't she concentrate on her work, but the fact that this could all be solved if Piper was open to vocalising their relationship status publicly.
Entering her apartment, Alex places her bag down and takes off her shoes before stepping into her living room and taking a seat on the sofa. Leaning to the side, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her iPhone to call her girlfriend. The call dials until it goes to the blonde's voicemail, which indicates that she can't come to the phone and to instead leave a message. Frustrated that the blonde hasn't answered her phone, the brunette gets back up and moves into the kitchen to fix herself up some dinner, making sure to visit her alcohol cabinet along the way.
Although she tries to keep herself busy, Alex finds herself checking her phone every couple of seconds, despite the fact that her phone is plugged into her Bluetooth speaker and would therefore immediately notify her of any incoming calls or messages.
It isn't until the brunette finds herself sitting up in bed that her phone finally rings.
"Hello," Alex's tired voice fills the line.
"Al, hey. I'm sorry I didn't call back sooner - I've been busy doing interviews." Piper's chirpy voice rings into her ears. "Is everything okay?"
"Piper - I don't think I can do this anymore," the brunette begins, starting out with what's been playing on her mind throughout the day.
"Alex- what…? Are you-" the blonde begins, stuttering, "are you breaking up with me?"
"No, of course not," Alex pauses, huffing loudly. "I just can't keep hiding anymore, Piper. Everywhere I go someone's staring or trying to take my picture or asking me dumb shit and I can't fucking take it."
"Al, I don't exactly know what you want me to do about it."
"THIS IS ALL HAPPENING BECAUSE OF YOU, PIPER!" Alex shouts down the phone, growing irritated by her girlfriend's stoic tone.
"WELL I'M SORRY I CAN'T ANSWER ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS."
"MY PROBLEMS? THESE PROBLEMS ARE OUR PROBLEMS," the brunette pauses to try and compose herself, not wanting to continue shouting. "Can't we just say something about being together because I don't see what could go wrong with doing that?"
"Alex, we've spoken about this. People are going to twist our words if we go to the media. Can't we just continue living our lives not caring about what other people think?"
"I've been trying to, Pipes, but I can't concentrate on anything that needs my attention."
Sighing down the line, the blonde again tries to reason.
"I don't think you get what I'm trying to say, Al."
"No, Piper. I don't think you're listening to me. I don't live like you. I'm just a normal person and I like my privacy, not being followed around by gossip and cameras all the time."
"Alex-"
"No, you're being selfish here, Piper," the brunette begins, trying hard to not stop and check if the blonde is okay given the sound of her sniffing down the line. "I'm not trying to be a dick, but this is affecting me just as much as it is you, and if you aren't going to take my opinion seriously, then I guess that's a big sign for the both of us," Alex concludes, waiting for the blonde to reply, and in hearing nothing but loud breathing coming from the other end, she hangs up the phone, tired of not only her girlfriend not realising how much their situation is affecting her, but from the weight of the past couple of days.
Sitting alone in her given dressing room, Piper twiddles her thumbs as she types and deletes whatever she had written in her message, contemplating what to send. She was still yet to further speak to Alex about their situation since their argument two days before, and although her work schedule has kept her busy, the blonde can't help but feel guilty for how she came across to her girlfriend on the phone who feels so strongly about the seemingly ongoing invasion of their privacy.
She's about to carry out a radio interview about her book, and given the fact that the station offers calls from viewers, Piper isn't looking forward to her afternoon.
A producer appears in her doorway, telling her that the studio is ready for her, and in giving her thanks with a smile, the blonde looks down at her phone one last time before clicking the send button, hoping that by the time she comes back into the room, Alex replies.
'Are you still wanting to come with me tomorrow? You can stay over this evening?'
Having managed to last the vast majority of the way through her radio interview without any trouble, the blonde feels proud of herself. She was surprised that all of the viewers' calls were actually showing some form of engagement with her work, yet just when she thought she had made it to the end, the interviewer asks one final question - no longer delaying the inevitable.
"So, Piper, how was your trip to Saint Lucia?" the man asks, chuckling.
The blonde, meanwhile, has to keep herself from rolling her eyes, expecting the topic to eventually be brought up, but not having expected it to have been brought up in such a way.
Adjusting the headphones covering her ears, she turns her head to the side before providing an answer.
"It was wonderful, thanks," Piper smiles sarcastically, "I mean, apart from having my privacy invaded, it was wonderful."
The blonde's sarcastic-filled tone was enough to indicate she didn't want to talk any further about the topic at hand, and luckily enough, it seemed as though the interviewer got the hint and abruptly brought an end to the conversation entirely.
Walking back into the dressing room where she left her belongings, Piper goes straight to her bag where she had placed her phone. Turning the device back on, she waits for her notifications to come in, and in seeing she is yet to receive one from Alex, her heart drops, and upon clicking onto their chat, she sees that her message had been read, causing her heart to sink even further.
"But hey, I'm here!" Alex mentions from where she's seated on the floor. "It's been a tough week now that I'm a celebrity and all," she adds, giving off a self-deprecating laugh.
"I'm sorry it's been a few months since I last visited - things have just gotten so… intense lately with work, with my friends, with Piper," the brunette pauses, using her tongue to wet her lower lip. "I ended things with Sylvie. You were always right about that one," she huffs, looking down at her hands.
"Ever since I've been with Piper, things have been great, but I don't know what to do with all this attention. I know what you're thinking," she looks back up, "I should stop being such a sensitive dumbass, but it's hard. What's even worse is that you'd know exactly what to say to me right now," the brunette pauses again, shutting over her eyes while clenching her jaw, trying hard not to let out the tears that had been building up since she first opened her mouth.
"I miss you," she adds, reopening her eyes and blinking frequently to recalibrate her blurry focus. "And I know your birthday is coming up, so I'll make sure to stop by for a little party," Alex chuckles, wiping the set of tears rolling down her cheek with the sleeve of her grey trench coat.
"I'm gonna head home now before it gets too dark," she says, standing up and placing her hand on top of the tombstone she had been talking to for the past two hours.
"Love you always, Mom," Alex concludes, smiling at the unmoved piece of stone.
The walk back to her car was always something the brunette hated. Since her mother's passing 2 years ago, she had never fully gotten used to the process of having a one-sided conversation, especially when she knows her mother would have known just the right thing to say when she spoke in times of need.
It's cold by the time Alex gets to her car and sits down to occupy the driver's seat. She pulls out her phone, deciding that she should probably check her phone to ensure that a search party hasn't been sent out for her, and out of the 7 notifications listed on the screen, not bad, she thinks - especially considering she muted her Twitter, 2 of those were from Piper: a missed call and a text message.
In her emotional state, the brunette tries to not let that get the better of her, and knowing that she isn't in the right frame of mind to entertain further conversation with her girlfriend, she opens the message and decides that it's something she's better off replying to when she's in the comfort of her own home.
The drive home is the same, sombre one she experiences whenever she goes to visit her mother; full of silence and thoughts about all the things she could have said and done were her mother still alive today.
By the time she gets home, Alex is tired. The traffic wasn't as bad as usual, yet she always did find the process of talking to a stone a draining experience. It's times like these she craved both company and alone time simultaneously; talking about how the death of her mother had affected her was never something she loved to do - she still didn't, and although she knows Piper would be willing to listen, the raven-haired woman felt that the topic would be best saved for another day where tensions between them weren't so high.
Piper, the brunette thinks, remembering she was yet to respond to her girlfriend. Her offer to stay the night was somewhat tempting, yet Alex didn't feel as though she had the mental or physical energy to not only travel to the blonde's apartment, but to entertain conversation that was either bound to end in tears or some sort of temporary half-hearted understanding.
'I think staying at home is what I need right now, but I'll definitely see you tomorrow.'
She knows that Piper is going to overthink the message - she doesn't blame her for probably doing so, but given her current state, Alex doesn't particularly care; right now, all she can think about is falling into a deep sleep where she can not only escape the stresses of her day, but the consuming thoughts spiralling around her head.
Having gone to bed early - unable to hack her persistent thoughts regarding Alex's well-being, Piper didn't see her girlfriend's response when it first arrived. She knew her offer to stay the night had been rejected - that in itself was pretty obvious, but when she finally checked her device upon moving to snooze her alarm, the blonde felt an element of happiness in knowing that her girlfriend wasn't going back on her word and would indeed accompany her to a writing awards ceremony that she had been invited to.
She'd gone about her daily routine the same as normal, and was pleasantly surprised to have received a message from Alex at roughly midday - just before a hair and makeup team were due to arrive:
'Pick up at 5?'.
'Perfect. See you then x' the blonde replies, taking her chances by putting a kiss on the end.
The hours fly by and Piper again finds herself alone, except this time awaiting the arrival of her girlfriend while trying to not anxiously ruin her makeup. The sound of ringing indicates that Alex has arrived; after the blonde buzzes her in, she waits not so patiently for a further knock on her door.
When it finally arrives, she waits a couple of seconds before approaching - not wanting her girlfriend to think that she had been waiting by the door upon her arrival.
Swinging the door open, Piper's eyes are immediately drawn to the beauty of the tall, dark-haired woman before her. Alex is wearing a plunged jumpsuit that's dark burgundy in colour, matched with a black pair of height-adorning stilettos.
"You don't look too bad yourself, Pipes," is all the brunette says as a greeting, having followed her girlfriend's eyes during her not-so-subtle checkout.
Piper, blushing slightly at having been caught, moves away to the side of the door, letting the older woman in while trying not trip in her silver heels that match her same coloured knee-high dress paired with her loose shoulder-length hair.
"It's nice to finally see you," the blonde begins, having shut the front door.
"It's nice to see you too," Alex responds, smiling at the blonde's awkwardness. "Aren't we meant to be leaving right now?"
"Yeah," Piper confirms, not moving from her spot until she shakes her head and turns back to open the door. "I'm all ready, so I don't know why I even shut the door," she chuckles, trying to attribute her actions in a humorous manner.
"I appreciate it when a person's polite and lets me in," Alex joins in, stepping out of the door and waiting for the blonde to lock her apartment before they head to her car.
"So are you sure you want me to drive and not get a car to take us or something?" the brunette goes on to ask as they enter the elevator.
"If you don't mind driving I'd prefer that in case we need to make a quick exit," Piper reveals, standing next to her girlfriend yet keeping a safe distance.
The blonde watches the brunette rest her hands on the metal bar behind them - stretching slightly, and debates placing her own hand next to her companion's, testing the waters for physical contact. She manages to place her left hand on the bar, and just as the sides of their pinkies - for a split second - subtly meet, the elevator doors open and Alex moves away, holding an arm out to indicate for the blonde to lead the way.
The atmosphere is somewhat tense upon getting into the car, and it isn't until Alex walks around to the driver's side, which creates an increased distance, that the blonde remembers to breathe. However, when both women are finally seated in the car, the tension is palpable.
The sound of Piper putting on her seat belt along with the sound of Alex fumbling with her keys - trying to insert them into the ignition, fills the air. It isn't until the blonde finishes with her task that she realises the engine hasn't started and Alex's keys can no longer be heard.
Turning her head to the side, she sees her girlfriend's green orbs - protected by her black, secretary-like glasses - looking her way. Without sharing a word, the brunette leans forward and cups the blonde's cheek, fusing their lips together in a longing kiss. It's the first real form of intimacy that they've shared in days - a fact that isn't lost on either woman when the sound of light moans is now the only thing that can be heard throughout the vehicle, as well as the fact that Piper had launched both of her hands forward to run through her girlfriend's long, dark hair.
Pulling away - not wanting to get carried away and make them late, Alex rests their foreheads together.
"Let's just try and enjoy tonight. Even if we have to pretend to like the food they serve at these things," the older woman whispers, the double meaning to her comment being something the blonde appreciates.
"Sure. I'm happy you came."
"I'm happy to be here," Alex smiles, pulling away to put on her own seat belt and turn on the ignition.
The car turns out of the space it was parked in, and by the time they reach their first red light, the blonde feels a hand reach over to hers, carefully intertwining their fingers.