Unidentified Feelings.

Notes:

A short chapter but a very important one.
Also, a song has been mentioned in the chapter, please listen to it... I have been listening to it on loop- AND try to not get into the details of the song. I know such music would be impossible to produce and perform in the medieval ages, but I like it!

Chapter Text

Merlin was being forced to go to the feast.
All he had wanted to do tonight was have an early night before his actual job started tomorrow- but no- Gwen and Gaius won't hear it. The physician wanted Merlin to socialize and Gwen had made him promise to have at least one dance with her.
"Come-on Merlin! otherwise, we will be late." The physician shouted, knocking on Merlin's door for effect.

Merlin glared at the door and groaned. He stripped from his night clothes and put on something acceptable for the feast, then he put on his boots, ran a hand through his thick hair and opened the door to an impatient looking Gaius- who saw what Merlin was wearing and nodded. Merlin rolled his eyes and waited for Gaius to turn before making a face behind his back.
"I know what you are doing, Merlin and may I just say that I find it very disrespectful." Merlin jerked away from the old man and tamped down the urge of looking for Gaius's third eye in his white mane.
The Physician laughed whilst Merlin gritted his teeth and together they made their way out of the chambers and to the Great Hall.

On their way, Merlin was greeted by several new friends he had made over the past few days- Maids and Knights alike but unlike Merlin, they all seemed excited for tonight.
They reached the doors of the Great Hall, which the guards opened for them to enter- Gaius went in first and when Merlin didn't enter automatically - because he could hear the utter silence that had fallen on the other side of the room- Gaius held Merlin's hand and pulled him inside, making the warlock stumble a little.

He straightened and smiled a beatific smile, making some smile and a second later the chatter resumed, making Merlin breathe in a sigh of relief. He reckoned this is what it must feel like when teenagers entered a new school. He grabbed a cup of mead from a passing server and downed it in one go, picking up another immediately after- making the servant look at him with bewilderment. Merlin ignored him.

He heaved in a sigh and looked around. The Prince was already there, talking and laughing with his knights, looking like an utter prat- the King and the Lady Morgana were yet to arrive.

Merlin reckoned that she would probably come just before the King did, accompanied by Gwen.
He starts talking to people, socializing with maids, knights, ladies and gents of the court alike.
He drinks another cup of mead, then a cup of wine and promises to himself to not stop drinking until the night is over- he will probably need it.

Merlin feels eyes on him almost constantly all night but he was usually too busy talking to either the knights or someone else, to notice who it was that was burning a hole in his back.
He turned to see when the door opened and in came the Lady Morgana and Gwen.
Gwen looked beautiful as ever with her beautifully tanned skin and yellow dress but it was the Lady Morgana that caught his eyes and made them stick to her...

She was a dangerous beauty, Merlin thought. A really really dangerous beauty. Morgana looked over at him and smirked, she knew she had affected him greatly- Merlin was a man at the end of the day and he wasn't blind or dead.

He feels someone nudge him and he knows it's Gwen telling him to pick his jaw up from the floor- he snorts and immediately turns to look at Gwen- not noticing Morgana's expression fall when he does it.

He chats with Gwen and makes her laugh by discussing several ladies of the court's dressing choices. To be fair- they were very ridiculous.
Merlin himself was in black pants and a bright red shirt- signifying the Camelot colours. He had long given up on wearing the neckerchiefs- he now used them as handkerchiefs. Quite handy those.

A moment later all chatter comes to a stop and Merlin knows that must mean that the King was about to enter- and predictably the doors of the Great Hall banged open and in came the King of Camelot, making a dramatic entrance aided by the 'swish' of his cloak. He looked as regal as he looks every day but the only difference was that he was wearing a more festive crown today- a much larger and heavier one than he wore every day.
Everyone bows including Arthur and Morgana- who had placed themselves on the high table on each side of the King's seat.

Everyone waits until the King takes his place before lifting their heads. Uther scans the room with a smile-their eyes catching for a second- and then says, "I declare this feast… open! May we welcome the Lady Helen of Mora to Camelot's court."
Everyone applauds and simultaneously digs into their foods and drinks, it was customary to wait for the King to announce the 'Feast open' at the start the food and then at the end wait for the King's speech before departing.

The lady Helen comes to the platform and sings- without any enchantments or curses this time. He's come to realize that she really is a beautiful singer.

Finally, during the performance, he was able to see who it was that had been staring at him for the whole duration of the feast. He follows the feeling and his land on Arthur. For a second both of them just stare at each other, neither of them willing to drop their gaze first.

But a moment later when the first song is about to come to an end, Merlin shakes his head and smiles at the Prince, only to receive nothing in return. This confused the warlock.
He had thought that they had been making progress this afternoon.

For a second, he couldn't help but think that maybe the Prince knew about the iPod, but he was sure that the device had been discharged and wouldn't have worked... so, unless Arthur was accusing him of sorcery just because of a piece of Metal, he didn't know what else could be causing the Prince to be sour with him.

He saw as Arthur held up his glass to be refilled, not moving his eyes away from Merlin, and once filled, he gulped the whole cup in one go. Then suddenly the Prince looked at someone beyond Merlin, frowning and at the same second the warlock felt someone tap on his shoulder.

Arthur had been getting bored out of his mind, speaking and fake-ly laughing with his father's knights. Suddenly, out of the blue, he felt someone enter the Great hall… he turned and saw Merlin... smiling a beautiful smile at the people inside the great hall. He stared, mesmerized only to turn away from the sight quickly when one of his knights punched his arm.

All evening he watched how Merlin charmed everyone in the room- all the knights and the maids- he even managed to charm many of the court ladies- not realizing that everyone around him was just waiting for Merlin to invite them back to his place for a tumble.

A feeling of possessive flashed through Arthur, it was really quick but it was there, Merlin was new to Camelot hence he didn't know how some people might take his charming words as an invitation and considering how heavily Merlin was drinking already- Arthur might have to intervene if no one did. They were all staring at the raven-haired man like a wolf stares at the sheep.

Hungrily.

He then watched as Gwen and Morgana entered the Great hall- Morgana's and Merlin's eyes met and stuck until Gwen distracted Merlin. They then spoke until the King entered the Hall.
Arthur couldn't help himself- he couldn't.

Merlin hadn't even deemed Arthur worthy of his time by coming and speaking to him- he was the Prince goddammit! He had been waiting for Merlin to come and speak to him or even bloody look at him- but did he? No.

Fine, Arthur had thought while also gritting his teeth, if this was how it was going to be between them, then so be it. He could clearly see Merlin teasing some other Knights- probably slipping in one or two sexual innuendos as he had with Arthur.

That was why when Merlin had finally looked over at him during the performance of the lady Helen and smiled- Arthur had remained stone-faced and just ordered himself another drink. Completely ignoring Merlin, like he had been ignoring Arthur.
But Arthur's resolution broke when he saw who was tapping Merlin's shoulder...

Merlin turned away from Arthur to see who was tapping on his shoulder and saw- Gwen. Her hands wringing themselves in nervousness, he raised his eyebrows in question. And Gwen whispered something but over the music, he couldn't hear anything.

So, he mouthed, 'what?' and Gwen came closer to him and in his ear said,
"Will you dance with me?"

Merlin laughed and got up, Gwen got nervous about the sweetest things. He drank the last of his mead, kept his glass down and then bowed to Gwen, crossing his left hand behind his back and extending his right hand for Gwen to place her hand in his.

*Insert Music- My Love- Kovacs (Lady Helen singing.)

Gwen giggled at the royal gesture and shyly placed her hand in his.
He professionally led her to the dance floor, not letting the multiple eyes he felt on himself bother him.

Once on the dance floor, he swivelled her gracefully and pulled her into his arms, his hand low on her waist and hers on his shoulder. Merlin let the music guide him… he had been trained by one of his love interests in the 9th century in the art of court dancing- and he had never forgotten.

He spins her at the perfect timing- her back to his front now- just swaying for a while before he turned her to face him again and dipped her low to the ground, making the whole thing seem seamless and sharp- they shuffled into a dance formation when other people came onto the dance floor- following them, but Merlin did not remove his eyes from Gwen's even once during the whole thing- even when he had to dance with a different partner, until finally, it was his turn to be partnered with her again.

He did this because he knew how Gwen loved feeling and being special and he had wanted to do this for her.

When the dance sequence got over, he kissed Gwen's hand in gratitude for the dance and then led her to the drinks section only to meet the Lady Morgana there.
He tilted his head in acknowledgement and the lady in question smiled.

"You dance very well, Merlin." complimented Morgana, making Merlin smile, he was about to thank her when he hears Gwen exclaim, "Doesn't he?!" He huffs a laughter at Gwen's excitement as she continues, "I didn't even struggle once in following him and it was just so easy with Merlin." Gwen continued. Merlin's smile widened at the genuine happiness and delight in Gwen's voice and replied,

"Thank you, my ladies and I am glad that you liked dancing with me, Gwen."

Morgana smiles pleasantly but Merlin can see a hint of something else in her eyes… but before he can fathom what it is, she turns to Gwen and says, "Gwen I think Arthur was looking for you." Gwen, if possible lights up even more and says her goodbyes to Merlin- which he returns.

There could be only one reason why Morgana had cornered him and that is why he turns to her and says, "Yes, my lady? I suppose you have something to say to me…-,"

"Oh, Merlin… I think we are past formalities, Don't you? Call me Morgana." Morgana interrupted with a smile and continued, "And I wanted to ask you to stop being your charming self," Morgana looked around at some fallen faces, "you have been breaking a lot of hearts tonight, Merlin."
Though it should have come across as a compliment, Merlin didn't take it to be one.

Merlin's confusion, like always, must have shown on his face, so Morgana rolls her eyes and allows herself to feel a little bit sympathy for the man.

Morgana realizes that Merlin had not even realized that he had charmed the pants off of multiple maids and Knights, flirted with Gwen- which is what, she was predicting, had put Arthur in a foul mood and... she was not even going to put herself on that list.
She had put so much effort into looking like this tonight so that she would catch Merlin's eye- and for a second she had only to be ignored for the rest of the night.

She had really admired him this morning- he was everything she wanted in a man. He respected women- didn't put them down like the others, he didn't stare at her chest- though she wished he would, he cooked, was noble without actually being a noble, was kind, gentle and downright lovely… she could have easily fallen for any such a man who wasn't as good looking as Merlin, so the looks were a bonus.

Morgana sighed and her face softened at Merlin's look of utter confusion, so she explained, "Merlin you cannot speak so charmingly with a maid unless you want to bed her." Merlin was taken aback by this information, his apprehension was now visible and Morgana continued, showing him the ropes of court flirting.

"When you speak to the knights that flirt- make sure that you make it clear to them that you are not interested from the start, that is essential- otherwise you will leave the poor knights with blue balls." Merlin spat the sip he had taken from his mead and placed the cup back on the table.

Morgana smirked at his reaction but continued, "Also, everyone knows that Gwen and Arthur are together, even if temporarily…. But if the Prince has claimed someone- they are off limits- which means-," Merlin says automatically,
"Which means that I shouldn't have danced with Gwen as I did, tonight."

Morgana gave a single nod and said, "Correct."

Merlin winces, this was probably the reason why Arthur had been so taciturn with him today. He knows how possessive the prat can get.
It wasn't his fault though, he had been in many courts before but there, everything had been so… simple, if you wanted someone, you made it clear by inviting them to dine with you.
In Camelot, every gesture seemed somehow sensitized. He remembers Gwen telling him something similar after he had become the Court Sorcerer… but by then everyone had known that he won't take any partners.

Gwaine and Freya had been his only serious relationships and the rest had been just tumbles… but once he had become the Court Sorcerer, he had somehow become off limits.

He frowns and then leans closer to Morgana, "How do I proposition someone? Like properly...

not just flirting?" Asked Merlin, basing his question on the probability that he might actually like someone.

Morgana looked at him for a beat longer than normal and then replied in a very casual tone, "Exactly like this."
Merlin's brows pulled in again, it took a second for him to understand but when he did, his eyes widened and he immediately put some distance between the lady and himself.
He cleared his throat, "I- um, I wasn't suggesting anything-," he starts but Morgana cuts him off, "I know. But…. I wouldn't be averse to it."

Merlin lowered his eyes for a second before smiling at the beauty in front of him and marvelled at the Goddess's hands- she had taken her sweet time while making Morgana. The Lady was gorgeous but she wasn't made for Merlin, just like he wasn't made for her.

Shaking himself he says in a low voice,
"I wouldn't either… Morgana. But…," his smile widens, "the King would probably chop my head off, and I… quite like it where it is."

To his surprise, Morgana started laughing, head thrown back and a hand covering her mouth, few out – of place tendrils of hair touching her naked shoulders. Merlin smiles looking at her- this image is what he wants to maintain of Morgana this time around…. Not the twisted, dark soul she had turned into because of him.

Morgana stops laughing and looks at him mischievously and says, "I think you're right and I too, quite like your head where it is." Morgana then extends her hand towards Merlin and he frowns at if, "Isn't this part supposed to be at the start?"
Morgana rolls her eyes at him and says, "It is, but since you didn't do it at the start, I am offering it to you again."

Merlin just shakes his head and leans down to kiss the offered hand, looking straight at Morgana when his lips touch her hand, making the action even more intimate than it was... this made the Lady's smirk shorten and her eyes widen. It was Merlin's turn to smirk now.

She realizes then that he was only teasing her and slaps his arm, "Don't tease now, Merlin." Making the warlock huff a laughter, still unbelieving how such a beautiful creature such as Morgana could even marginally find him worthy of her.

They celebrate the rest of the feats talking to each other.
He knows that she likes him at some level but… he can't possibly give her what she wants.
Though she is a gorgeous and a lovely human being, Merlin had always treated and looked at Morgana more like a friend than anything else.
Even when she was his enemy- she had been his friend first, otherwise, he would have killed her much sooner.

Another reason why can't give her what she wanted was that all evening he had seen Sir Leon cast furtive glances towards the Raven beauty. Merlin knew that the other man was probably a better match for her than him.
He smiles and promises to help Sir Leon in the future.

Gwen joined them an hour after she had left, looking positively glowing.
Merlin and Morgana shared equally disgusted and exasperated glances. Gwen came and started gushing about how absolutely wonderful Arthur was in bed- apparently, this was the first time they had sex- and it had been glorious.

Merlin and Morgana silently gagged the details of Gwen's and Arthur's tumble and just as Gwen was getting to the worst part, they were saved.
Thankfully the King had chosen this moment to retire. The King rose and both Arthur and Morgana resumed their places beside Uther. But before The King left- there was another thing left...the customary speech.

The king clears his throat, bringing silence to the hall and says, "It is with complete delight that I announce the celebration of the 20th anniversary since the Great Purge of Magic began." People applaud and many give excited squeals, Merlin's face becomes taut- glued into a smile but on the inside, his jaws are clenched.

He is too drunk for this shit.

The King continues, "When I came to this land, it had been rampant with unexplainable horrors," Uther nods and everyone shudders whilst nodding along, attention now, solely focused on the King, "Now 20 years later, we- together- have achieved more than any of our forefathers had- Magic is at its weakest!"
Knights, councilmen and servants cheer alike. Merlin doesn't.

He is about to get up to fetch himself another cup of mead, thinking that the speech is over-when Uther starts once again,

"But, it is not yet dead." Uther is seen gritting his teeth, before smiling fully and saying, "So, it is with even more delight that I announce the addition of an important person in our fight against Magic. Camelot has finally gained its deadliest weapon- solely for the purpose of detecting Magic and annihilating it" Uther pauses and everyone waits with bated breath,

"Its own Witchfinder!"

Merlin froze in his movements. He looked over to the King who was looking straight at him with a genuine smile. Merlin automatically smiled back but on the inside, he pitied the man. Uther genuinely thought that he was doing the world a favour with his agenda against Magic. He couldn't have been more wrong.

Merlin swallows and closes his eyes for a second to collect himself and force the effect of alcohol down- before opening them again.
The people had started whispering as soon as Uther had mentioned a 'Witchfinder'. The whispers were somehow louder than the excited shouts for Merlin. He could hear each and every one of them.
People wanted to see who it was that had taken over such a dangerous job.
After collecting himself, he made sure that he exuded confidence once again. His mind was clear but his magic bubbled on the surface. Angry. He had not known anything about this announcement but he could bet his magic- Gaius had.

He will handle Gaius later, but for now, he just took another deep breath. He had to seem like he was the Witchfinder- at least in the people's and the King's eyes and that meant that he needed to seem like he wielded authority on a daily basis. That he was tough enough to kill without remorse. A person who hated magic more than anything else in the world.
He had to act like Aredian or worse, like Uther himself.

"Merlin!"

Uther calls out his name, making people whip their head to look at him. He felt some knights pat his back but Merlin was numb to all of it. He was scared to look at either Morgana or Arthur.
People clapped harder when Merlin rose from his seat with a smile on his face. He had become quite efficient at courtly manners in the 10 years he had spent in Camelot and the total of at least 100 years he had spent in different royal courts in almost every era.

People's applause became even louder when they realized who it was that Uther was talking about- Merlin made friends easily- he had already become quite popular since he had arrived in the town.
He bowed to the King- fake gratitude shining from his eyes. He was scared to look at both the people sitting beside the King, but when he did he noticed that though many people had looked shocked none had looked more shocked and confused than Morgana, Arthur and Gwen did.

People kept coming to him and introducing themselves- congratulating him but when it finally died down- Merlin glanced at Morgana first who was staring at him with stony silence and then at a still shell-shocked Arthur… who seemed almost normal but he had a stiffness in his every movement that gave away his disbelief.
He just shook his head at the whole thing and quickly headed back to Gaius's chambers.

Morgana looked at Gwen who nodded at her mistress and both of them followed Merlin. Arthur saw Morgana and Gwen follow Merlin, so he too said his 'goodnights' to the knights, looked around for onlookers and undetectably slipped out of the great hall.

Notes:

Hope you are having a good day!