I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

"You need to straighten yourself up Bella Swan. You look like you've been ravaged by a wild animal." He winked, wiping away my juices from his chin with a paper towel.

I laughed. My mouth dry from all the panting.

The door to the restroom opened and swung shut again. We both tensed up.

"I just don't know what's going on with him, Emily. The past few days he's just been, like he's there but he's not. We haven't been the same for weeks and I'm driving myself silly trying to figure out what the hell is going on."

Fuck.

I was glued to the spot. I could see Jakes pulse throbbing in his neck. How could we have been so stupid? How could we have been so disrespectful? We are terrible, terrible people.

"Things were good last time I spoke to you though, right?" Emily asked Megan.

"Yeah, well at least I thought they were. He's always been the same though. I know he loves me, but I've always thought he wasn't throwing himself into our marriage fully. Ever since we lost our son…"

I could hear the cry catch in Megan's throat.

Jake had a son.

A little boy who no doubt would have been absolutely beautiful. I looked up at Jake and could see the tears pooling in his eyes, but his jaw was clenched. I took hold of his hand and squeezed it gently. A silent way of telling him that I was sorry for everything he had been through. Was it selfish of me to blame myself? If I hadn't left, would we have been the ones to marry? He may not have even met Megan. And neither of them would have gone through this incredibly tragic loss.

"Oh Meg, please don't cry. It will happen for you again. You will have another beautiful child when the time is right, I just know it" Emily soothed.

I heard Megan sigh.

"There's one very important ingredient required to make a baby, Emily. You actually need to have sex. And that is one thing that we are definitely not doing right now."

I bit my lip nervously, silently shuffling my feet.

"Look, lets go back out there and enjoy the rest of our night. We have the rest of our lives to help each other through the bad, lets enjoy the good when the opportunity comes, hey?" Emily urged.

"Ugh, lets go and get a drink"

And with that the door swung open and closed once again.

I looked up at Jake. He was just staring at the wall. I squeezed his hand once more.

"I'm really, really sorry Jake"

With that, I wrapped my arms around him. Not as a lover, but as a friend. My Jake had been through so much. Of all the people in the world to deserve this, he was not one of them. He pulled away and opened the cubicle door, stepping back out into the main area of the restroom.

"I'm going to go back out there, I'll see you"

And with that, Jake swiftly kissed me on the forehead and turned on his heel out of the door.

I placed my palms either side of the wash basin and let out a breath that I felt like I'd been holding in for a lifetime. Of all the things I'd done in my life, receiving oral sex from a married man in a restroom cubicle and then hiding from his wife…it was most definitely not my proudest moment.

I fixed my make up and hair in the mirror, straightened out my outfit and made my way back out into the club.

I don't know how long I'd been in there but everyone seemed to be considerably more intoxicated than they were when I last saw them. Leah was huddled up in a corner booth with Paul playing what looked like spin the bottle. Rosalie and Jared were doing shots at the bar. And Embry…well he was having a dance off with some college kids in the middle of the dance floor.

I wish I could have lifted my own spirits and continued on with the celebration, but I decided to talk a slow walk home alone instead.

Walking out on to the street, I tripped on a cobblestone and dropped my purse. A beautifully manicured hand appeared in front of me as I bent down to pick it up.

"Hey, Bella right?"

Jesus, can a girl catch a break?

Megan's kind smile beamed down on me as she handed me my purse.

"Yeah, hey. I was just leaving! I'll see you around sometime maybe!" I hurried.

"You're not walking, surely? Its 4am Bella. You should share a cab with us!" She suggested.

Us.

"No, honestly its fine. My dads a police officer, I've known how to fight off attackers since I was five!" I laughed nervously.

Absolutely no way. No way on God's green earth was I going to share a cab with Jake and his wife.

"I actually agree with Megan, Bella. Its really late and I'd rather know that you got home safe" Jake chimed in.

Was he actually serious?

"Come on Bella, I'm not taking no for an answer" Megan insisted.

And that's how I ended up sitting in the back seat of an Uber with my lover's wife making small talk about Gucci handbags.

"Bella, we should totally go out for coffee sometime! I'm sure you have some really embarrassing stories you could tell about Jacob!" She giggled, clearly tipsy.

I could see Jake's shoulders tense up as he sat quietly in the passenger seat.

"Uh, I'm actually going back to work in a few day's so I don't think we'll have the chance. Maybe next time I'm in town though" I pacified.

As we pulled up outside Charlie and Sue's house, Megan took hold of my hand and squeezed it.

"Let me give you some money towards the fare" I insisted.

"Nonsense! Don't you worry about that. Sleep well, Bella. See you around."

I stepped out of the cab and as I turned to shut the door behind me, I caught Jakes gaze. I had never seen him look so uncomfortable. I shot him a half smile and then turned around to walk up to the house.

How could I have picked the nicest, warmest, most beautiful woman's life to destroy?

I sat on the steps and rested my chin in my hand. Looking up at the full moon, it made me feel warm and secure. I could have sat there all night, completely mesmerised by the sight of it.

Hearing the birds sing, I realised that the sun would soon be coming up.

I quietly made my way upstairs, threw off my outfit and fell into bed. It was a matter of seconds before my tired eyes closed.

The next couple of days trickled by.

Charlie and Sue had headed off on their honeymoon and Rosalie had gone back home for work. It was just little old me and occasionally Leah.

It was mid afternoon and I had spent the whole day so far partaking in the riveting activity of…spring cleaning.

I wanted to thank Charlie and Sue for letting me stay with them, so I figured them coming back to a sparkling home was a good way to show my gratitude. The kitchen was the cleanest I'd seen it in years. I would have been willing to eat my dinner off the floor, it sparkled so much.

I had been out the day before and bought new throws and cushions for the sofa as a belated wedding gift and bundled the old ones in boxes to go up in the attic. As I climbed the ladder, I remembered the times I would hide up there when I was missing my mom. I spent hours looking at old photographs and going through her belongings.

Pulling the light cord, I climbed up into the attic. It was full of old 'antiques' as Charlie liked to call them. He'd had a habit over the years of buying items for the sole reason that they might be worth something one day. My little nest egg, he called it. The thought made me smile.

I pulled the boxes up the ladder and placed them in the corner out of the way. As I turned back towards the hatch, I tripped over something solid and fell.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I squealed.

As I stood up and dusted myself off, I looked down to see what I'd collided with. I couldn't believe it.

My memory box.

Picking the box up, I carefully climbed down the ladder and took myself into the kitchen. I placed the box down on the table and stared at it for a moment. I knew what was in there. Mementos from my teenage years. I opened a cold beer and sat down at the table.

Carefully lifting the lid off the box, the musty smell hit my nose immediately. Some of this stuff was super old. I sipped at my beer as I looked through old cinema tickets from date nights with Jake. Once a week we'd go and see an unpopular movie just so we could sit in an empty theatre and make out in the back.

I giggled at the thought of how clumsy and awkward we were back then. We barely knew what we were doing. But look at us now…

Taking my time to soak it all in, I read through love letters from Jake from when we were 16.

My Bells,

It sucks here without you, but I've learnt so much about mechanics that I never knew! I've got it all planned out now Bella. I'm going to open up my own shop, fixing cars, spraying them… I want to be able to provide for you and give you everything you deserve!

God, I love you so much. I never thought it was possible to care this way about somebody.

I miss your beautiful face. As soon as I get back we're going to the movies! Haha!

Don't forget me!

Your Jake xxx

"Oh Jake, I could never" I whispered.