Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

I couldn't get the day's events out of my head. I'd never been so torn in all my life. The inner battle I was having my own head was causing me to question the person I thought I was.

On one hand, I felt like scum. You can dress it up however you want, I'm someone's mistress. A dirty little secret. Megan was kind, beautiful, warm and deserved none of this. From what I'd seen and heard of her so far, she was sincere and dedicated to Jake.

On the other hand, it was Jake. It was like somebody had lit a fire beneath us. The passion I felt with him was so intense, my brain and body forgot about what was morally right when I was around him. His touch was like magic and my body just knew what to do with him. I'd gone from virgin to sex kitten in a matter of days. And I loved him. Oh, did I love him. With all my heart and soul. And I believed that he loved me too. No, I knew he loved me.

Tomorrow morning, I was leaving. I hadn't spoken to Jake since he'd dropped me off a yesterday. He had respected my wish for some space to think about things. The problem was, I was no closer to a conclusion now than I was yesterday. And even if Jake did leave Megan, how would it work? He wouldn't leave the reservation. La Push was his home. Once upon a time, I'd dreamt that it would be my home. The home where we raised our children together. Did I want to give up everything I'd worked for and move back here? The logistics of the situation were making my head hurt. And there was still Billy to worry about. Jake hadn't mentioned anything since I told him the truth that morning at the hotel and I hadn't pried. If Billy knew that I had come back and destroyed everything for his son and daughter in law, I'd have heard from him by now.

It was just past six o clock in the evening. Charlie, Sue and I had arrived back home not half an hour ago. We had gone out to dinner at a little Italian restaurant in Port Angeles. A way of saying goodbye, I guess. They hadn't asked when I would next visit and to be honest, I didn't know myself.

I made myself a coffee and went outside to sit on the porch. The sun was trying to peek out from behind the grey clouds with no luck. I took a sip of my coffee and placed it down beside me. Taking my cell phone out of my pocket, I found Jakes number. Regardless of the situation, I couldn't leave without seeing him first.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Uh, hey Jake. So, I'm leaving tomorrow and thought we should talk. You know where I am anyway. I leave at nine."

I finished my coffee on the porch and took myself upstairs for a bath. Laying there in the piping hot water, I pushed all thoughts of this mess to one side and relaxed. After washing my hair and shaving my legs, I wrapped myself in a towel and headed to my room. I slipped on my flannel pyjama shorts and a black tank top, dried my hair and packed my belongings. All ready to go.

Relaxing on the bed, I took my phone out. He hadn't called. My heart sank. There was every chance that I was going to have to leave without seeing his face. Or kissing his lips. For all I knew, the last time could have been…well, the last time. The thought made my heart hurt. I rolled over into my pillow and forced my eyelids shut. I couldn't spend the night tearing myself apart over this.

The rain battered against the window as my eyes flickered open. Daylight was peeping through the curtains. I sat bolt upright and looked at my watch. Six thirty in the morning. Unlocking my phone, I checked to see if Jake had called while I was sleeping. But there was nothing. No missed calls, no text messages. I could feel my chest getting heavier as I was forced to come to terms with the fact that I would be leaving without saying goodbye to him. Tears pooled in my eyes as I thought of everything we'd shared over the last week or so. I wouldn't have changed a second it. My only wish was that he was mine completely. But none of that mattered now. I was leaving.

I threw on a pair of comfy sweat pants and my black hoodie and took myself downstairs to get some coffee. Charlie was standing in the front of the hallway mirror in his police uniform fixing his hair.

"Oh hey sweetheart, all set?" He asked, the sadness evident in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Aiming to leave in an hour or so. It's been so wonderful seeing you, Dad. The wedding was beautiful and it's been amazing catching up with everybody!" I told him enthusiastically.

"Don't leave it so long next time, alright kiddo?" He said as he wrapped me up in a big hug.

"I'll try not to, Dad"

Charlie left for work a little while later and then it was just me. I was watching the minutes go by on the clock. I couldn't decide if I wanted time to pass slower so that I had more chance of seeing Jake or faster so that the decision was out of my hands. As the clock struck 8.30, I called a cab and gathered my belongings.

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door. Assuming the cab had arrived, I picked up my suitcase and jacket and said an inner goodbye to the house I grew up in once again.

Swinging the door open, I froze.

"Jake…" I muttered.

He stood there in the doorway with a look of absolute ruin displayed across his face. He didn't say a word for a moment. Just leant against the doorframe looking down at the floor. Dressed in a pair of grey sweats and a black t-shirt, he looked good enough to eat. But his face was telling me that something was wrong.

"I told him, Bella"

"Told who what, Jake?" I asked, confused. I held the door all the way open and ushered him back inside the house.

Jake took himself into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Jake, it's not even 9am…" I said, expressing concern.

He sat himself down at the kitchen table and took a long swig from the bottle. Laughing to himself, he looked up at me and shook his head.

"I confronted Billy. About what you told me?" He sighed.

My legs felt funny. I felt dizzy. What was he thinking?

"Jake…what happened?" I asked nervously.

"He didn't even try to deny it, asshole" he huffed, taking another swig from the bottle.

I could feel the anger radiating off him. Jake had never scared me, not in my whole life. His emotions were always plain to see as they were usually written all over his face. But this side of Jake worried me.

"Okay so tell me this, now that you've told Billy…"

"He's not going to tell anyone, he wants me to stay with Megan and try to make it work" he said, cutting me off.

In that moment, an uncontrollable urge grabbed hold of me and before I knew where my head was at, my mouth was already moving.

"Okay do you know something Jake, I'm fucking done" I told him, throwing my hands up in the air.

"I can't do this. The past week has been a mixture of incredible and gut wrenching to the point where I feel physically sick at my actions. At points I've stooped lower than I thought I was capable of. I swore I'd never be someone's secret mistress. But do you know what? I don't care. I'm done beating myself up over it. I love you. I've loved touching you. I've loved every moment spent with you. I'm single, Jake. I have no ties. I'm right here for the taking. I don't want anybody else. But my part is done here. I've told you that I love you, I've told you that I regret how things ended between us. And I think it's obvious that there is no other man on this planet that I would rather sleep next to. All those years I spent away from you, I looked at nobody. Nobody ever came close to comparing and nobody ever will. The decision is yours now, Jake. I am handing you my heart on a platter. You can either take it and treasure it, or you can break it."

I walked back over to the door and once again gathered my things. Feeling his hot breath on the back of my neck, I turned around to face him. We were mere inches apart from one another.

"I'm leaving her, Bella"

Those four words ripped through me like wildfire. I searched his face for any sign of dishonesty but could find none. At the very least, he believed the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Jake, I have to go…" I whispered. Our lips almost touching, I could feel his warm breath on my mouth.

He rested his forehead against mine and cupped my face with his beautiful, large hands. Our lips brushed together softly. A more tender kiss than any we had shared over the last week or so. The gentleness of it made my spine tingle. Jake pulled me in to him and enveloped me in his arms. I lay my head against his chest as the tears began to fall down over my cheeks.

"I promise you, I'm leaving her. I've spent all night killing myself over what to do and how to do it. But then I realised no matter how long I leave it, it's going to hurt her all the same. You don't deserve to be put in this situation anymore, Bella. I'm doing it. Today. I promise" he assured me.

I desperately wanted to believe him. I really did.

"I still have to go Jake, I'm really sorry. My flight is in four hours and I need to get to the airport. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. Please, know that I love you?" I urged.

"I know you have to go. Just please…if I do this…can we talk about what's next for us?" He asked, the lump in his throat evident.

"Yes, call me" I nodded.

Jake wrapped me up in one more embrace. The kiss was more urgent this time. His tongue snaked my mouth as he took hold of my bottom lip between his teeth and gently sucked. I could taste the alcohol on his breath. That beer hadn't been his first drink of the day.

I couldn't bring myself to chastise him for it. For him this must have been like reliving a nightmare all over again.