Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Life is a very fickle thing. No one knows how it'll turn out or how long it'll last. There's never an explanation for any of it but we still try to make reason out of it. Most times though, people don't realize how things can change in an instant and Santana is one of those people...but luckily, the universe is about to show her.
Santana is sure she's got time to figure everything out just like every other 20 something. Life isn't even too bad right now for her. Currently she's living in New York City with two people she considers her friends, attending classes and working as waitress to support herself, though she is looking for another job. To Santana, having started off in Lima, Ohio she's come a long way and only sees it getting better from this point. While there's many positive aspects of Santana's life, there are some more negative things she's dealing with.
Santana is really trying to move on with her life and forget about Brittany, her ex and the person who she thought...was just it for her. They haven't been together or even spoken in over a year but Santana still holds on to the idea, that one day they'll fix it. They'll be able to make it work and live happily ever after. Santana knows people would say she was pathetic and she would agree. It's dumb to think she'd actually be able to have her high school sweetheart.
Santana sighs to herself as she patiently waits for Lyft to pick her up. Normally she'd take the train home but her feet are really killing her today. A blue Honda Accord pulls up and Santana gets into the backseat, not wanting to make pleasantries but says hello to her driver. Santana puts her headphones in her ears and tries to relax as she makes her way home. Resting her head against the cool window, Santana watches the people, buildings, cars, buses and trains that go by. As they sit stopped at a stop light, Santana watches the traffic in front of her through the windshield . The light turns green and the car moves forward into the intersection. Santana turns her head to continue watching from her window, when she feels her heart jump into her throat as she stares at the headlights coming toward her.
When Santana opens her eyes, the lights of the room almost blind her. Closing her eyes and bringing her hand to her face to shield her eyes, she realizes there's a I.V in her arm. Santana glances down and sees that she's in a hospital gown.
"What the..." She mutters to herself but stops, wincing from burning in her throat. Noticing a weird sensation in her nose, Santana brings her hand to her face and feels a tube.
There's a beeping next to her that's speeding up as Santana begins to freak out. Looking to her left, she notices a call button and presses it more times than she needs to. Becoming annoyed with the beeping of the heart monitor, Santana closes her eyes and begins to take slow deep breaths to calm herself.
"Well, hello!" A cheery voice rings out. Santana opens her eyes to see a short woman with red hair and black rimmed glasses, dressed in hot pink scrubs, walking into the room.
"Glad you could join us." She says as she walks over to the right side of Santana's bed.
"Okay, do you know where you are?" She asks.
"A hospital apparently. What the hell happened to me?" She asks.
"We'll get to that in a second honey, first I need you to answer a couple more questions. What's your name?" The fair skinned woman asks with a warm smile. Santana studies her features and figures the woman is probably in her 30's.
"Santana Lopez." She says as more people walk into the room, stopping near the door, silently observing.
"What year is it?"
"2019." Santana answers plainly.
"That was the last one. Okay, you're at East Grant Medical Center and 4 months ago, you were in a car accident." Santana creases her eyebrows in confusion and the woman gives her a sympathetic smile.
"I know, it's a lot to take in but at least you're here right? The doctors are going to go over a few things with you and I'll be back okay?" The woman sends Santana one last smile before exiting the room.
The doctors move towards Santana and begin to assess her while giving her more details of what happened to her. In the crash, Santana took the brunt of the impact and was knocked unconscious. The hospital induced a coma because they weren't able to stop the swelling of her brain so they'd been waiting for her to wake up.
"I know this is a lot to process Santana." Dr. Lee says to her after finishing her explanation as her associates leave. Dr. Lee is about 5'1 and is a very slim Asian woman who Santana believes may be in her 50's.
"We're going to keep you for at least another week for observation. We've contacted your emergency contacts, so right now I just want you to relax for a while. Doctors orders!" She says playfully. Santana gives her a small tight lipped smile as Dr. Lee leaves the room.
It is a lot to take in but Santana got lucky. She didn't obtain any significant injuries. All she walked away with was a head injury a few broken ribs. The doctors were shocked that Santana was able to stand and walk around without any help after being in a coma for so long. Santana had one more visitor after Dr. Lee, it was a speech therapist to evaluate her. Since Santana had no issues, they took out her feeding tube and gave her a pudding cup. 1 hour later while Santana is watching TV, her nurse, Kelly, comes back.
"Alright beautiful." She starts and Santana lifts her eyebrow slightly.
"My shift is over so I can't keep you company anymore today, but I did see your girlfriend on my way in here. I know she's going to be excited to see you. Your next nurse is Hilary, she's nice too so don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow." Kelly says quickly, ignoring Santana's confused looks as she leaves.
"Girlfriend?" Santana says softly to the walls of her room, Kelly's mind far from the hospital room.
"Santana!"
"Oh thank Barbra! You're awake!" Kurt and Rachel say at the same time as they walk into her room. Rachel is smiling brightly holding a bouquet of roses and Kurt is carrying balloons with a smile of his own. They both walk to the left side of the bed and Rachel quickly wraps her arms around Santana, not caring that she's crushing the roses or hitting Santana in the face with them.
"Okay Berry, take it down a notch." She says dryly, waiting for the hug to end to regain use of her arms. Rachel doesn't let go until she's satisfied with her hug, not caring about Santana's weak protest. Once Rachel releases her, Kurt takes the roses from Rachel and walks over to the window sill, placing the flowers against it and setting the balloons down.
"I'm so glad you're okay." Rachel says softly, gently touching Santana's shoulder.
"Yes, I mean I honestly was afraid that Satan had finally decided to go home." Kurt pokes as she walks back over to Santana, a playful smile on his lips. Santana looks over at him, ready to respond when her right ear begins to ring. Wincing, she pushes a finger into her ear, hoping to stop it.
"Are you okay?!" Rachel asks almost frantically. Santana waves a hand dismissively then puts her hand down, having stopped the ringing.
"I'd be a lot better if you stopped screeching in my ear. Seriously, do you need a valium or something?" Santana says, rolling her eyes and looking over to Kurt, but before she can speak she hears another noise. This time it isn't ringing though...it's a melody...and words You can count on me like one two three, I'll be there. Santana sits with a confused expression, not understanding why she's hearing Bruno Mars.
"Who's playing that?" She asks, eyes darting between her friends who are now wearing matching expressions of confusion.
"Playing what?" Kurt asks. Santana locks eyes with him as she hears more song lyrics. And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two, you'll be there. Cause that's what friends are supposed to do.
"Are you fucking with me? You don't hear the music?" Santana says. Rachel and Kurt glance at each other then back to Santana.
"Should we call the nurse?" Kurt asks Rachel.
"Check your phones, there's something playing in here!" Santana says frustrated that the song hasn't stopped. Kurt and Rachel check their phones and Kurt sighs softly.
"Santana, there's nothing playing. Are you sure you're okay?" He says, genuine concern lacing his words. Santana sighs in defeat and shakes her head.
"I'm fine, just forget it. I have a question for you two." She says.
"While I know sometimes it's very easy to confuse Lady Hummel for an actually lady, I'm pretty sure my nurse thinks Rachel is my girlfriend and I'd like to know why." Santana states. Kurt purses his lips with an eye roll.
"That would probably be because Rachel has been here every day since your accident."
"Kurt!" Rachel scolds, cheeks burning from embarrassment. Santana glances at Rachel who in turn gives her attention.
"I just wasn't comfortable with no one being here in case anything happened." Rachel explains, smiling bashfully and receiving a small nod from Santana.
"Well...thanks for not letting them steal my organs or something." She says with a smirk.
Rachel and Santana were definitely not friends for a very long time but when you live with someone, you really get to know them. Santana is actually happy she has a friend like Rachel, though she isn't proud of how long it took for them to get there. Santana looks into Rachel's brown eyes and her ear begins to ring again and then...another melody. Lay your body close to mine, let me fill you with my dreams. I can make you feel alright, and baby through the years gonna love you more each day.
"Santana?" Rachel calls out since Santana had been staring with her eyebrows furrowed. Santana doesn't respond as the song to continue play in her head. I will love you more each day, 'Cause you will always be the lady in my life. Shaking her head, hoping that will somehow stop the music, Santana hears the melody switch as another song begins. "I'll make love to you, like you want me to... Losing her patience Santana hits herself in the ear.
"I'm getting the nurse!" Rachel says as she turns on her heels and leaves.
"Wait!" Santana shouts but Rachel doesn't turn around. Santana curses to herself and glares at the wall ahead of her. The last thing Santana wants is for the hospital to keep her any longer and if she tells them she's hearing random music, she knows they'll toss her in the loony bin and throw away the key.
After the nurse comes in, Santana just tells her there was a ringing in her ear. Since she did have a head injury, the nurse assures her that'll pass but to let her know if it doesn't. Hours later, Quinn comes through the door carrying a very large stuffed bear. Peaking her head around the bear she offers Santana a small smile. Santana goes to speak to her when the ringing begins again and then...Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. Rolling her eyes, Santana tries to ignore the music playing.
"Didn't think you'd show up." Santana says as Quinn sits the bear in a chair.
"Why wouldn't I be here?" She says while walking towards Santana.
"Sure, we had our love hate thing but you know I care about you." Quinn says and Santana shrugs.
"I'm glad to see that head injury didn't change you, at all." Quinn says before sending a friendly smile to Rachel who is sitting in a chair next to Santana.
"Wait, you came from Connecticut?" Santana asks curiously.
"Obviously. I left class when Rachel called." Quinn turns towards Santana and sighs softly.
"I'm really happy you're not dead." She says with a playful smirk as she grabs Santana's hand. Santana laughs softly and squeezes the hand in hers.
"Me too. Sit down and tell me about what's been going on since I've been in a coma." Santana says and Quinn lets go of her hand to find somewhere to sit.
Quinn and Kurt stayed until visiting hours were over but Rachel didn't leave. Since Rachel had been there so frequently, she'd established a relationship with the staff so they turn a blind eye to her so she can stay beyond visiting hours. Santana was honestly grateful for the company since she hates hospitals. They've always freaked her out since her father died in one when she was a child.
"Do you plan on going home?" Santana asks Rachel who hadn't left her side today but to use the bathroom and get herself and Santana some food.
"Yes, when I'm tired. I'm not tired yet." Rachel says with a small shrug.
"Am I bothering you? I know you prefer silence over my rambling, as you put it." Rachel says.
"The ramblings are...helpful today. Keeping me out of my head." Santana says softly. Today, she'd been welcoming the distraction of visitors because she didn't have to think about what this accident means for her life. Santana has definitely lost her job and is probably going to have to repeat all of her classes and she doesn't want to think about reality.
"What are you thinking about?" Rachel asks and Santana shakes her head.
"Talk about anything else." Rachel frowns slightly.
"It will probably help to talk about it." She says gently. Santana sighs, not in the mood to argue. Maybe Rachel is right?
"My life is over when I get out of here. I have no job and failed every class because I almost died." She says with a slight shrug.
"You do have a job. I may have threatened our boss with multiple lawsuits if they let you go so it's there whenever you're ready to go back. As for school, your mother was able to withdraw you from classes because of medical reasons and it won't effect your gpa. Unfortunately you'll have to retake the classes but at least it won't hurt you. Also your mother has been covering your bills." Rachel tells her. Santana sighs in relief.
"I could kiss you right now. I thought my life was over." She says and Rachel giggles.
"I made sure to do whatever I could to make sure that didn't happen." Santana smiles at Rachel.
"I seriously can't thank you enough." Rachel smiles warmly back at her.
"Being awake is thank you enough."
Santana was able to leave the hospital after 3 days instead of a week because she'd been doing so well. Almost all of her friends came to see her or called to check on her. Santana's mother and Rachel are in her room now, waiting on her discharge documents so she can leave.
"It's like they want me to go Lima heights on them! How long does it take to print papers?" Santana growls, while sitting on the bed facing the window.
"Can't you just be happy you're leaving at all Santana?" Santana's mother, Maribel says. Santana rolls her eyes but doesn't respond. There's a light knock at the door and Santana stands.
"Finally." She says but the rest of her words are lost when she sees Brittany smiling at her. Before Santana can react, Brittany is holding her body against her own. Santana moves her arms as much as she can to return the embrace. Brittany buries her face in Santana's neck, placing tears along Santana's neck.
"I'm so glad you're okay!" She mumbles, her lips brushing Santana's skin and sending chills down her spine.
"I...uh-yeah. Me too." She says softly. Brittany pulls back slightly and wipes her eyes.
"I tried to come sooner." She says with a sniffle.
"It's okay. I'm glad you came." Santana says, unable to distinguish the feeling in the pit of her stomach. Is she nervous? Is she happy? Is she disappointed? Brittany smiles at her, pushing her thoughts away.
"Hello Brittany." Rachel says with a tight lipped smile. Brittany turns and returns the smile.
"Hey Rachel. Hi Mrs. Lopez." Brittany says before stepping away from Santana to begin a conversation with them. Santana watches on, staring at her...friend. Brittany and Santana hadn't seen each other in person in over a year, much to Santana's disliking but that doesn't matter now because Brittany is here. Brittany came to see her. Maybe that means something? Santana goes to speak to Brittany when the ringing comes back. You've got a friend in me, You've got a friend in me. If you've got troubles, I've got'em too... Santana hides her confusion from the other people in the room.
In the past 3 days since waking up, Santana hasn't been able to escape hearing some random song when encountering anyone and the songs vary in meaning, genre and even languages. Santana hasn't been able to figure it out and is sure she's losing her mind but no one needs to know she's crazy. For some reason, most of her friends...are associated with a song about friendship...except Rachel. None of it makes sense to Santana but the song choices for Rachel, definitely don't make sense. Santana isn't in love with Rachel. Sure, she likes her, they're friends. Rachel isn't unattractive but Santana has never seen her like that...well maybe she's thought about having sex with Rachel once or twice but sex isn't love.
Eventually, their conversation ends and Santana's nurse comes back with her papers and says her goodbye. The group leaves the hospital and Brittany pulls Santana away to talk privately. Brittany nervously kicks the ground before speaking.
"I'm sorry I don't call. I just-" Santana holds a hand up.
"It's okay Britt. We both have lives now. I know how it goes." Santana says.
"I just wish things were how they were before. I miss being friends." She says softly and Santana sighs as she wraps her arms around herself, a new melody fades in. Thank you, next, thank you, next. I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex. Santana can't help but roll her eyes at that one.
"Maybe we could try again? We started as friends." She tells Brittany, who gives a small nod.
"Yeah, maybe. Take care of yourself."
"You too." Santana says softly as Brittany gives her one last hug.
"You didn't...hear any music, did you?" Santana asks cautiously. Brittany looks confused so Santana shake her head.
"Nevermind. Be safe." Santana says before walking off.
Santana knows she's lost her mind now. When she was in the hospital, she figured maybe the music was apart of some weird withdrawal or something from whatever they gave her, but now...now she's sure that head injury knocked a few screws loose. The music is driving her crazy and she hasn't been able to find a way to stop it or even tune it out. The only time she doesn't hear anything is when she's completely alone, which is why she's grateful Kurt is at work and Rachel is in the shower. After having been out all day, Santana needs a break from the music in her head. Lounging on the couch, Santana is actively trying to find something to watch so she can unwind, not noticing Rachel approaching her in only a towel.
"Santana, did you break my hair dryer?" Santana rolls her eyes, glancing at Rachel out of the corner of her eye.
"No. I did not now stop bothering me." Rachel rolls her eyes.
"Then explain to me why it won't turn on after I let you use it." Santana turns her head to glare at Rachel as a familiar melody fills her head...Let's get it on, Ah, baby, let's get it on. Santana doesn't even hear the music as her eyes follow a bead of water slowly sliding from Rachel's neck and down her collarbone before disappearing into the valley between her breasts. Santana's eyes continue to trace down Rachel's towel clad body until Santana comes out of her trance like state and realizes what song is playing.
"No, we are not doing this."She says with a shake of her head as if she's trying to shake herself of her thoughts. Santana then stands abruptly and Rachel watches her curiously. Santana grabs the dryer out of her hand and walks into the bathroom. Rachel follows, watching as Santana plugs it into the wall, presses the reset button and turns on the dryer.
"It works. Now, no more talking. I'm going to lose my shit if I hear one more damn song!" Santana says then storms out of the bathroom, leaving one very confused Rachel in her wake.
Santana was able to get back into a rhythm with work and school and is happy to have gotten back to her normal. Sadly, she hasn't heard from Brittany anymore but...Santana can't say it bothers her. She misses her friend but...it doesn't hurt anymore. Santana just figures maybe her accident put things in perspective for her.
Feeling drained from her shift, Santana comes into her shared loft and collapses on the couch. Not seeing her roommates anywhere, she closes her eyes briefly.
"Are you okay?" Santana hears Rachel say. Opening her eyes, she sees Rachel standing over her and not to Santana's surprise, her ear rings. And your heart's against my chest, Your lips pressed in my neck. I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet. And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now. Santana groans, not even knowing she knew so many love songs.
"I'm fine. Tired." She responds. Rachel has been nervous since Santana came home, afraid that something else will happen with her since the hospital discharged her so soon.
"Are you sure? Because -"
"Rachel stop, I'm too tired to do this with you." Santana pleads. Rachel nods then goes to sit in their recliner.
"How was your day?" Rachel asks.
"Shhh." Santana says as she closes her eyes, falling into a deep sleep.
Santana finds herself in a hospital room but this time she's not the one in the bed. Rachel is. Santana walks over to the bed to see Rachel holding a baby in her arms. Confused, Santana looks down at the baby in Rachel's arms before speaking.
"What-"
"Isn't she beautiful?" Rachel asks softly, cutting Santana's question off. Santana looks over her friends facial features and realizes she looks older, not much but definitely not the way she remembers. Santana sighs softly and watches as Rachel gently runs her fingers through the newborns short dark curls .
"Look who's here?" Rachel says with a soft smile. Santana glances at the wedding band on Rachel's finger as her hand moves along the babies head.
"Do you want to hold her?" Rachel says, looking up at Santana with a look resembling adoration. Santana shrugs and holds her hands out. Rachel smiles as she maneuvers to give Santana the child. Santana notices there's a white gold wedding band on her finger as she reaches out for the baby.
"Say hi to mami, Mila." Santana's eyes widen and she wakes up with a jump.
Santana opens her eyes and looks around to see she's in the hospital again. Frowning, she looks at her arms and sees her IV's. Santana touches her nose and feels the feeding tube again. Confused she goes to hit the call button but stops when she sees Rachel sitting in a chair next to her, arms folded, head off to the side, asleep. There's one headphone in her ear and Santana finally notices the one in hers.
"Rachel?" She says and Rachel jumps awake. Looking at Santana with wide, teary eyes she hugs Santana tightly as her emotions wash over her, soaking the front of Santana's hospital gown with her tears.
"What's going on?" She asks, her voice more raspy than usual, confused as to how she got back to the hospital. Rachel collects herself and pulls back to answer Santana.
"You've been in a coma for the past 2 weeks...you were in a car accident." Rachel says softly.
"What? I don't...2 weeks?" She says and Rachel nods. Santana looks at Rachel, taking in her disheveled appearance. It doesn't look like Rachel has slept in weeks. Her hair is in a messy ponytail and she's wearing a hoodie...Santana's hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Rachel doesn't respond as a fresh set of tears roll down her cheeks.
"I was so scared." She almost whispers. Rachel wipes her eyes again then stands.
"I'm going to let them know you're awake." Then she quickly leaves the room. Rachel quickly comes back and sits in her chair next to Santana.
"I'm so confused right now." Santana tells Rachel.
"Do you not remember?" Rachel asks.
"I do but I don't know...everything is just weird." Santana says slowly. Rachel nods in understanding and smiles at Santana.
"Well at least you're here now. Let's be happy about that."
"How long have you been here?" Santana asks.
"Today? Since 1. I didn't have to work so I came here. I've been here everyday." Rachel says with a light shrug.
"Why?" Santana asks.
"To make sure you were okay of course! I've read that some people were able to understand things in the world around them while in a coma so I thought I'd keep you entertained. I've played music for you, sung to you, read to you and we've even watched movies. Well, I watched them, you just listened I assume. Do you remember any of it?" Santana shakes her head.
"I don't think so...maybe the music." She tells her. If this is...the real world, does that mean Santana made up everything else? That would explain the random songs she kept hearing. Unsure if this is really reality, Santana pinches herself in the leg...but she doesn't feel it. Eyes widening with fear, Santana looks at Rachel, panic written all over her face.
"Why can't I feel my legs?!" Santana says as she tries to move her legs but gets no result. Rachel gives her a sad smile as the doctors enter the room.
"Why can't I feel my legs?!" Santana shouts again as tears sting her eyes. She really hopes this isn't reality.
Santana's diagnosis is spinal shock to her lumbar spine. The way it was explained to her is that her spinal cord is swollen and is being compressed which is why her legs are numb and she is unable to move them. There was no bone fragments or severing of her spinal cord so she has a good prognosis...though Santana doesn't feel like it. She's afraid that she'll never walk again or be able to live her life the way she did before and she doesn't know how to handle it.
Rachel held Santana's hand the entire time the doctors told her what had happened. She wouldn't want to be the one to tell Santana something like that so she made sure to be there to support her. As Santana cried, Rachel held her tightly in her arms trying to be there for her anyway she could, knowing that this would be one of the hardest challenges Santana would ever face. After crying, lashing out and crying again, Santana lies in her hospital bed motionlessly staring at the ceiling, in disbelief that this is really happening.
After assessment, Santana was sent to an inpatient rehabilitation facility and hated every second of it. The place was a nursing home and Santana didn't even know you could go to nursing home if you were under 70 years old. Miserable can't even begin to describe how Santana feels right now.
"Why are you always here?" Santana asks Rachel who is sitting at the small desk in her room, finishing her school work.
"Would you prefer to be alone?" Rachel asks.
Santana had been visited by many people since she'd woken up but Rachel is the only one to see her consistently, every single day. Right now, Santana doesn't feel like she has a lot to look forward to...but knowing Rachel will be by everyday and not having a soundtrack to her life anymore are the only two things she can say she actually looks forward to. Santana just can't understand why Rachel is always here with her.
"You don't have to be miserable with me." Santana says. Rachel glances at her from behind her laptop screen.
"I am not miserable and neither are you. You have one more week here." She says and Santana rolls her eyes.
"It smells like death and piss in this place everyday. Don't tell me I'm not miserable." Rachel rolls her eyes but doesn't respond. Santana rolls herself towards Rachel then stops her wheelchair once she's next to her. Santana still isn't able to walk and it's been almost 2 months since she came to this facility. It's really frustrating her because she's been working so hard in therapy for none of it to be paying off.
"Seriously, why are you always here?" Santana asks again. Rachel looks over to her and folds her hands in her lap.
"Because you're my friend Santana and I care about you. I know you hate this place. I know you hate hospitals. I know this is a hard time for you and as much as you want to be strong...I know you can't do it alone, so I'm being strong for you." She says. Santana doesn't know why that gave her chills, but it did.
"I don't need anyone to be strong for me, though I appreciate the support. You have your own life. Yours doesn't have to stop because mine did." Rachel rolls her eyes.
"Your life didn't stop."
"Rachel, I can't fucking walk! I don't know if I'll ever be able to again! My life... is over and I know you're trying to be a good friend but I'm not going to let you stop your life because of me!" Santana shouts in frustration.
She isn't frustrated with Rachel but she doesn't think it's fair that Rachel is doing so much for her and neglecting herself. Santana can't be the reason why Rachel doesn't do everything she set out to do. Rachel has missed classes because Santana had a doctors appointment or missed work because Santana had therapy and she wanted to be there.
"Santana, I know you're frustrated but -"
"No!" Santana says, cutting Rachel off.
"I don't want to hear it Rachel. I want you to get out." Santana says softly, knowing that's the only way she'll be able to save Rachel...she has to push her away.
"No." Rachel says calmly. Santana furrows her eyebrows in confusion.
"That wasn't optional Berry." Santana glares at her while folding her arms over her chest.
"I don't care. This is what you do. You push people away but I won't let you do it to me. I already...I almost lost you once. I'm not doing it again." Rachel looks like she's on the brink of tears and it hurts Santana deeper than she expected. Santana doesn't want to hurt Rachel, she only wants her to focus on herself. Sighing in defeat Santana nods her head.
"Fine, but don't blame me when your life is ruined like mine." She says and Rachel narrows her eyes at Santana, becoming upset with Santana.
"You know what? I am tired of this pity party with you! You're life is not over! It is not ruined and I am tired of it! Do you know how it felt to see you in the bed?! Every single day I cried and prayed to any god that was willing to listen, for you to wake up!" Rachel's voice cracks with emotions as she stands.
"When you opened your eyes and came back...I thought I was going to explode from happiness. But you...all you do is take it for granted! There was a huge possibility that you weren't going to wake up Santana! But you did and now..." Rachel trails off throwing her hands up in frustration. She's shaking from anger and tears are cascading down her cheeks. Santana sits watching, stunned at Rachel's outburst.
"I-I-I'm sorry. I think I need some air." Is all she says before swiftly exiting.
Santana feels like shit...Rachel was right. She's done nothing but complain and feel sorry for herself not even thinking about the fact that she could have died and it would've really hurt the people in her life. Santana never thought her comments would hurt Rachel but she understands Rachel's point of view.
Rachel didn't come back before Santana went to her physical therapy session. Santana is almost halfway through now and it feels weird not having Rachel there rooting her on or laughing at the dumb jokes she makes about the old people, insisting they aren't funny. Santana sighs to herself as she stands at the parallel bars with her therapist in front of her. The only way she's been able to walk is when she can hold on to both bars at the same time. Santana slowly advances her right leg, then left and repeats the sequence until she's in the middle of the bars. Feeling weak, she tells her therapist she needs to sit so they quickly push the wheelchair between the bars. After sitting the therapist walks away and Santana drops her head into her hands, disappointed in herself.
"Are you quitting? If only Sue Sylvester could see you now." Santana lifts her head to see Rachel standing in front of her with a soft smile.
"Rachel I-" Rachel shakes her head and Santana stops talking.
"I won't accept any apologies from you while sitting." She says with a small smirk. Santana huffs but nods her head and stands up. Since Santana is going home soon, Rachel has been working with the therapist to make sure Santana is safe when she leaves so Rachel makes sure she isn't to far from Santana in case she needs help, as the therapist comes back.
"Walk." Rachel says and Santana begins to put one foot in front of the other, taking small steady steps towards Rachel as she moves away.
"Stop moving away." Santana says through gritted teeth, still feeling weak but trying to push through. After a few more steps, Santana is sweating and slightly panting.
"I can't." She says dejectedly with a small shake of her head, stopping her efforts. Santana looks down at her feet until she sees two hands coming to rest on her waist.
"You can." Rachel pushes gently.
"Rachel..." Santana lifts her head to look at Rachel, feeling her heart race and butterflies in her stomach as she gets lost in two pools of chocolate.
"Santana, just let me help you." Santana feels Rachel's soft warm breath hitting her cheeks as she speaks.
"Don't drop me." Santana says with a smirk and Rachel's lips curl into a smile.
"Never." She says softly as Santana tries again.
Santana has been out of her coma for 12 weeks now and has made major progress in her recovery. Santana is no longer in a wheelchair and is now able to walk with a cane but she is still in therapy and will be for the next 6 weeks. Santana has been having a therapist come to her apartment twice a week but she feels like she doesn't even need them since she has Rachel.
Since being home, Rachel has been her drill Sargent. Making her do her exercises when the therapist isn't there and forcing her to do more things for herself around the loft, though that isn't difficult. Over the past 12 weeks, Santana feels like her relationship with Rachel has shifted...in a direction that scares her. Santana is in love and hates herself for it. The last time that happened she got her heartbroken and lost a friend...she's just not willing to take that chance again so she's not going to tell Rachel how she feels. Some things are better left unsaid.
"Quinn wants to know why you haven't answered her phone calls." Rachel says, coming into the living room where Santana is seated on the couch, holding her phone to her ear.
"Because I don't want to talk. Pretty self explanatory." Santana says she flips through channels on the TV.
"She says don't complain about her not answering your phone calls anymore." Santana shrugs as she sits the remote on the coffee table.
"If she answered mine, we wouldn't have to play phone tag." Rachel doesn't relay the message from Santana and ends her conversation with Quinn. Rachel then walks near Santana and grabs the remote, turning the TV off.
"What the hell?" Santana asks.
"It's time to do your exercises." Rachel states and Santana rolls her eyes with a groan.
"Can we not do this today? I really just want to watch TV."
"And I really just want you to have a full recovery. Unless you like using a cane?" Santana tosses her head back and sighs.
"Fine, just make it quick." Rachel smiles and then walks over to their speaker, putting on some music as Santana stands from the couch. Santana panics internally when she hears the music. She was sure that wasn't real...is she really going crazy now?
"Please, tell me you hear that?" Santana asks cautiously. Rachel giggles before responding.
"I do, since I am the one playing the music." Santana sighs in relief and Rachel shakes her head at her.
"Why are you playing music today?" Santana asks.
"Well music is therapeutic and dancing is motion and motion is exercise so.. May I have this dance?" Rachel holds her hand out towards Santana and she chuckles lightly.
"I guess it's better than squats." Santana places her hand in Rachel's and she takes a few steps back, guiding Santana along until they are in a clear area. Rachel places a hand on Santana's hip and Santana does the same.
"Let's just do a simple two step." Rachel says and Santana nods.
"Are you leading?"
"Of course." Santana rolls her eyes.
"Now I wish I still couldn't feel my toes." She jokes and Rachel slaps her shoulder playfully. Santana chuckles as they get back into position. Rachel steps forward and Santana steps back, listening to the song play. Realizing what song is playing, Santana chuckles.
"I knew you weren't from this millennium." Rachel only shrugs, swaying to the song then singing a few lyrics.
"At last the skies above are blue." Santana smiles softly at her, gently pulling her closer. Rachel let's her and rest her head against her shoulder. Santana closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Rachel's warmth pressed against her as the song comes to an end.
"Rachel?" Santana says softly as they continue dancing, waiting for the next song to play.
"Thank you. For everything. I don't think I'd have been able to do this without you." She continues..
"I'll always be here for you. No thanks is needed." Rachel says then lifts her head to look into Santana's eyes.
"Santana...when you were in that accident. I felt like...I felt like my life was over. I wasn't sure if you were alive or not and it killed me knowing that you could've been taking away from me before I could tell you..." Rachel takes a shaky breath, trying to move away afraid to finish her sentence but Santana holds her in place, smiling at her.
"Tell me that you love me?" Santana says and Rachel nods.
"Yes. I don't know when it happened but I know how. I finally got to know the amazing person you are under that exterior and I was mesmerized..." Rachel licks her lips before looking away nervously. Santana cups Rachel's cheeks, drawing her back her gaze.
"I love you too." She says softly before pressing her lips against Rachel's. Rachel's hands come to rest on her hips as the couple continue to kiss softly, enjoying the embrace. Once they break apart, Rachel's eyes flutter open and a small smile is left of her lips as her cheeks flush.
"As much as I would love to do this with you..." Santana trails off, not really wanting to say what she feels she needs to.
"You're afraid? Because of what happened with Brittany?" Rachel ask with a disappointed tone.
"I understand but Santana...things didn't work out with you two because Brittany didn't know what she wanted. I know I want you and I'm willing to work to keep you...but I understand. If you don't want to try..." Rachel stops talking, nodding her head instead.
"I just don't want to lose another important person in my life." Santana softly responds.
"You wouldn't because I don't plan on losing you." Rachel says with a wink and Santana chuckles. They stand in a brief silence before Rachel pulls Santana into a hug. Santana holds her tightly, resting her head on her shoulders and makes her decision. Tomorrow isn't promised and Santana doesn't want to live her life regretting the opportunities she didn't take.
"Promise you won't drop me." Santana says softly in Rachel's ear.
"Never." Rachel responds through her smile.
8 years later
Santana rushes back to Rachel's hospital room after ending her phone call with her mother. Walking over to the bed, Santana smiles as she looks at Rachel holding their baby in her arms. Santana looks down at her daughter in Rachel's arms before speaking.
"How are you feeling?" She asks.
"Sore, but it's all worth it. Isn't she beautiful?" Rachel asks softly.
Santana glances over her wife's facial features and realizes how lucky she is to be here, right now. Sighing happily, she watches as Rachel gently runs her fingers through the newborns dark curls, feeling a sense of deja vu wash over her. Santana isn't sure why she feels like she's been in this moment before but she doesn't mind reliving it.
"Look who's here?" Rachel says with a soft smile. Santana glances at the wedding band on Rachel's finger as her hand moves along the babies head, softly smiling to herself, never thinking she'd be married to such an amazing woman.
"Do you want to hold her?" Rachel says, looking up at Santana, love and adoration in her eyes. Santana nods and holds her hands out, excited to hold her daughter for the first time. Rachel smiles as she maneuvers to give Santana the child.
"Say hi to mami, Mila." Rachel says gently as Santana takes their child into her arms. As Santana gazes at the new life they created, tears of happiness begin to roll down her cheeks. Santana wipes her eyes and softly laughs to herself.
"I was like 85 percent sure you'd be a lizard baby." She says and feels Rachel gently slap her thigh, causing her to laugh more.
"Santana!" Rachel scolds.
"I thought it would be the universe getting it's revenge for me being such a bitch for so long. I didn't actually want a lizard baby." Santana tells her wife, who in turn only shakes her head.
"I'm going to try to get some sleep before everyone shows up. You can handle her for a little while right?" Rachel says and Santana scoffs as she walks over to a chair against the window.
"Duh. I gots this. You nap while you can so I can tell her about how crazy you are and apologize in advance." She says as she sits down in the chair with her daughter. Rachel rolls her eyes but watches on with a tired smile as Santana takes her shirt off and lies Mila against her chest.
"I love you." Rachel says softly. Santana looks up at her and smiles.
"We know. We love you too, now go to sleep." Santana winks at her wife and Rachel allows her body to relax.
Life rarely goes the way we expect, but sometimes it turns out better than we even imagined...and in this very moment, Santana realizes that the she'd never be this happy if life went the way she'd expected.
Songs: Count on me – Bruno mars. Kiss me – Ed Sheeran, I'll make love to you - Boyz II Men, At last -Etta James, lady in my life - Michael Jackson. You've got a friend in me – Toy Story. Thank u, next - Ariana Grande, Lean on me - Bill Withers. Let's get it on -Marvin Gaye.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed, till next time.