Rachel has always loved to talk, she just has a very outgoing personality, but sometimes her communication skills do more harm than good in her life. When Kurt text her this morning, confirming that she'd keep his dog for the week, Rachel didn't remember agreeing to that...but sometimes she does forget what she's said to people. Not thinking, Rachel responded and Kurt let her know she can come pick up Toto, his Yorkshire terrier, today any time before 8 pm.
This is not going to go well. Rachel isn't sure why she would have ever agreed to do something like this knowing Santana's hatred for animals in general but especially dogs. Rachel knows Santana is going to go ballistic when she tells her but maybe she will let her make it up to her? Hopefully this doesn't completely end their relationship. Rachel sits nervously in the living room, having put Toto in her bedroom so that she can talk to Santana about it before she sees the black dog.
"It smells fucking delicious in here." Santana says as she walks into her apartment. Walking into the kitchen, she sits her things on the island as she makes her way over to the stove top. Santana hungrily licks her lips as she pulls the lid off of the pot before her.
"Is this Pozole?" She asks, hearing Rachel walking towards her as she grabs a spoon and brings some of the hot liquid to her mouth.
"Yes. I had a very long video chat with your mother to prepare it since apparently just a list of ingredients, like I asked, would have been to simple." Rachel says as she stops next to Santana.
"That's because she likes you." Santana says around a mouthful of food.
"What did you do?" She asks, after swallowing. Rachel's eyebrow rose.
"Why would you ask me that?" She asks innocently as Santana eats another spoonful.
"Any time you make me something like this, you did something. Spill it." She says and Rachel rolls her eyes.
"Why can't I just do nice things for you?" Rachel says, walking away to grab Santana a bowl.
"Stop deflecting. What did you do?" Santana asks again once Rachel is back at her side. Rachel bumps Santana with her hip, signaling for her to move and she ladles some food into a bowl then hands it to her.
"I resent the assumption." Santana rolls her eyes as she sits at their island to eat her food.
"Rachel." Santana says in a warning tone with her eyes narrowed. Rachel sighs, leaning against the island opposite of Santana.
"You know how Kurt and Blaine are going to the Dominican Republic for the week?" Santana nods as she chews her food.
"Well...you know Toto, their dog." Santana furrows her eyebrows as she watches Rachel's eyes nervously dart around the apartment.
"I may have...offered to sit for them." She lowly mumbles.
"You may have what?" Santana asks, not having heard her. Rachel sighs and slowly licks her lips.
"I said...I may have...offered...to sit for them." Rachel rushes her words towards the end of her sentence, smiling innocently at Santana hoping she didn't catch it but from the glare she's currently receiving, it's safe to say that Santana heard her.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Santana says, sitting her spoon down.
"You know how I feel about animals." Rachel sighs with a nod.
"I know! And I'm so sorry Santana. I don't remember agreeing to it but Kurt told me I had to pick him up today and -" Santana holds a hand up and Rachel pauses.
"Hold up. Pick him up? That overgrown rat is in my apartment right now?" Santana says, standing from her seat and looking around the floor of her apartment.
"Where the hell is it?" She asks in an even tone.
"I-uh- he's in the bedroom." Rachel responds with a nervous smile, feeling grateful that looks can't actually kill.
"Why the hell would you put that thing in my room?!" Santana shouts.
"I didn't have anywhere else to put him while I talked to you." Santana takes a few calming breaths as she glares at the floor in front of her.
"Get the dog Rachel." She says so calmly that it unnerves Rachel. Rachel takes cautious steps towards her bedroom, never taking her eyes off of Santana. Santana scratches her head then sighs.
"Ruined my Pozole..." She softly mutters to herself.
Rachel wasn't surprised that Santana didn't speak to her for the remainder of the day yesterday. Santana has never liked animals in general but has always hated dogs. They're loud, gross, clingy and have the capacity to eat you, so Santana doesn't understand why anyone would want a predator in their house. After taking Toto for a walk, Rachel tries to talk to Santana again. Knocking softy on the bedroom door, Rachel calls Santana's name.
"She isn't home right now. Don't bother leaving a message." Rachel hears from the other side of the door.
"Are you just going to ignore me for the rest of the week?" She asks.
"I didn't plan on it but I like that idea." Rachel sighs softly.
"How can I fix this?"
"Get rid of the fucking dog." Santana cracks open the door to look at Rachel.
"What am I supposed to do with him?" Santana shrugs.
"Take the thing to a kennel, leave it outside or put it back in the fucking wild. I honestly don't care but it shouldn't be in my house." Santana rolls her eyes then quickly closes the door in Rachel's face after noticing Toto running over to the door. Rachel glances down at the dog whose tail is wagging furiously at the closed door in front of him. Toto barks excitedly, spins in a circle then sits.
"Why are you being so mean? He likes you." Rachel says.
"I don't care what that thing likes. Keep it the hell away from me." Sighing, Rachel crouches down and scoops the dog up in her arms, scratching him behind the ears.
"Come one Toto, you didn't do anything to deserve such treatment."
"You did though!" Santana shouts and Rachel rolls her eyes as she goes back to the couch.
"Rachel?! Get this flea bait away from me! I think he's trying to eat me! Or give me rabies!" Rachel sprints to her screaming girlfriend to find her in a corner by the bathroom practically trying to climb up the wall, while Toto wags his tail and barks at her.
"Get it!" Santana shouts once she spots Rachel. Rachel bites back a laugh as she notices the toy by Santana's foot.
"San, he just wants you to play with him." She says calmly.
"No! No me gusta! Shoo!" Santana tries to shoo the dog away with her hand but Toto lifts up on his hind legs and plants himself on her shin, causing her to let out on very high pitched scream. Deciding she shouldn't just stand there, Rachel grabs Toto and his toy.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asks while holding Toto, who pants with his tongue out. Santana glares at Rachel and walks past her, keeping her distance from the dog in the woman's arms.
"No! I'm being tormented by a hell hound!" She says once she's a safe distance away. Rachel follows her girlfriend, keeping her distance so she doesn't get yelled at.
"You said that damn thing was in it's fucking play pen!" Santana shouts as she goes to refrigerator.
"He was. I don't know how he got out. You don't have to be so dramatic. He isn't going to hurt you." Rachel says as she stands in the living room.
"You don't know what that thing is thinking. They like fear. He's torturing me so that I taste better when he attacks." Santana says, pointing a water bottle at Rachel. Rachel laughs with a shake of her head.
"Do you know how ridiculous you sound? Look at him. He can literally fit in a purse. I don't think he can really be that much of a threat." Rachel says and Santana nods her head as she opens her water.
"You know what else can fit in purses? Guns. And that's exactly what they want you to think. Oh, I'm so nonthreatening, and then when you least expect it...Bam! You're fucking dead with more than half of your face eaten off and people say 'oh the poor dog would have starved'. Starved my ass!" Rachel laughs again.
"Have you ever been around any dogs Santana?"
"Of course not! Because I know all about their little plans." Santana taps her temple with her index finger, smirking knowingly.
"I don't trust anything with more legs than me and can't talk." Rachel puts Toto down in pen and gives him his toy.
"Santana, why don't you just pet him?" Santana shakes her head as she swallows her water.
"Hell to the no. I ain't touching that thing. I barely want to touch you after you've touched it." She says with a look of disgust.
"San! He's friendly! You're not giving him a fair chance." Rachel says as she enters the kitchen.
"Does it look like I care about a fair chance? Rachel. It's enough that this thing is here. I don't have to be nice it." Rachel pouts before sighing.
"Fine, be that way." She says then goes back into the living room.
"Honestly, how hasn't this thing had a heart attack or something by now? One of our steps is like 10 for that creature." Santana says as she and Rachel walk along the trail at the park around the corner from their apartment building.
Santana felt bad the other day when Rachel tried to get her to...interact with Toto. Santana didn't feel bad for the dog, she felt bad because she knows Rachel loves animals and she's been punishing her for it. Santana has seen Rachel's interactions with the dog and it's obvious that it makes her happy. Rachel has loved Toto since the day she met him. So Santana decided to try to suck it up and maybe give the dog a fair shot to see if she could really tolerate them.
"Because he is a very healthy boy!" Rachel coos happily to the dog as she reaches down to pet him. Toto leans against her leg, enjoying the attention. Santana watches silently until Rachel stands and they continue their walk.
"I'm surprised you decided to come with us." Rachel says while taking Santana's hand.
"Does this mean you aren't upset with me anymore?" She asks with small smile. Santana smirks at her and chuckles.
"You wish. I'm over the dog thing mostly but I would've appreciated it if you didn't agree to shit like this without consulting me first."
"That was an accident. I really think Kurt may have taken advantage of my talkative nature, like you do sometimes." Santana arches an eyebrow curiously.
"Explain." She says.
"When I'm passionate about things, you slip in questions you want me to say yes to because you know I'll agree to it while I'm distracted." Santana's face lights up in realization and she nods her head.
"I didn't think you knew about that. I'm gonna have to talk to Lady Hummel because he will not be taking advantage of you like that." She says with a roll of her eyes.
"But you can?" Rachel asks as she comes to a stop, noticing Toto pulling on his leash. Santana looks over to the dog and turns her face up.
"That's disgusting." She says as Rachel pulls out a bag from her pocket.
"Would you like to do the honors?" Rachel asks while holding the bag towards Santana.
"Not in this life or any other." Rachel chuckles as cleans up the mess and disposing of it before they continue on their way.
Since Toto showed up in Santana's apartment, Santana has locked herself in the bedroom to escape the furry little animal but today she's decided to sit in the living room with Toto being locked away of course.
"What time is Kurt coming to take this demon away?" Santana asks as she crosses her legs and lays back against the couch.
"He should be on his way. Are you sure you don't want to play with him a little before he goes?" Rachel asks with pleading eyes.
"Oh I'm sure." Rachel frowns slightly but nods her head. Feeling bad, Santana sighs and sits up.
"If I...pet it, will you leave me alone?" Rachel nods excitedly as she smiles at Santana. Rachel has been hoping Santana would at least try to interact with Toto. Rachel would love to get a dog one day so she wants to use this situation as an opportunity to at least open a dialogue about it.
"Yes! I'm just going to let him out and we'll see what he does." Rachel says as she walks over to Toto, quickly freeing the dog and watching Santana's response. Santana grimaces as she watches the dog trot towards her wagging his tail. Once she gets to her feet, he sniffs her then gently licks her shin with a small yip.
"Ugh...I've seen you put that tongue in so many places." She says, annoyed with the dog. Santana glances up at Rachel, who hasn't stopped watching her. Sighing, Santana hesitantly reaches her hand down, extending her fingers and lightly pats the dog on the head. Toto then crouches down, butt in the air with his tail wagging and Santana quickly retracts her hand.
"What's he doing?!" Santana says frantically, pulling all her limbs close and pressing her body into the back of the couch. Rachel brings a hand to her mouth to hold in her laugh.
"He's uh...He just wants to play." Rachel says after collecting herself.
"Nope. That's the most I can give right now." Santana says and Toto takes off, running around the apartment at top speed.
"Can he...can you make it stop? Why the hell is this happening?" Santana asks while she watches the dog curiously as his tongue flops in the air with each step.
"People call them zoomies. It's a burst of energy but it'll pass." Rachel says as someone knocks at the door.
"Thank god. Let them in. Please!" Santana pleads as Rachel walks towards the door.
"Hello, Hello!" Kurt happily greets Rachel as he pulls her into a hug. Rachel quickly says hello to the two men and ushers them inside as Toto runs by them then back into the living room.
"Well, if it isn't the two pretty ponies." Santana says with a smirk as she comes to greet the men, after Blaine picks up his excited puppy before he can keep running Kurt smiles politely before responding.
"I honestly don't know how Rachel puts up with you. I'm starting to believe she's being held against her will."
"Oh, on the contrary my hairless little elf. Rachel is very much a willing participant. Real orgasms will do that to you." Kurt rolls his eyes while Blaine grimaces and directs his attention back to Rachel.
"I hope he wasn't any trouble." Kurt says and Rachel waves dismissively.
"Of course not. I love him as much as I do you two." Rachel says with a smile.
"Same." Santana says.
"I thought you didn't like dogs?" Blaine asks with furrowed eyebrows.
"Exactly. Now, get your mutt and get the hell out. Rachel and I need to talk, but first." Santana says then steps close to Kurt, leaning over to whisper in his ear.
"If you ever take advantage of my woman again, for any reason, I will make you an actual Lady Hummel." Santana pulls back, smiling and pats Kurt's shoulders, ignoring his look of shock then moves away. Kurt awkwardly clears his throat before speaking.
"We actually should get going. We're pretty tired but I'll call you tomorrow to let you know about the trip." Kurt says and Rachel nods.
Santana directs Blaine to the playpen so he can dismantle it and soon the men and their dog are gone. Rachel and Santana are now lying in their bed.
"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Rachel asks.
"Were we in the same reality this past week?" Santana counters.
"Come on San, you can't tell me you really hate Toto."
"I hate that I had the perfect opportunity to call Kurt, Dorthy and I let it slip right through my fingers. It's like the second I don't think he can get anymore gay, he slaps me with glitter." Rachel rolls her eyes.
"That's not what I asked."
"I guess that dog wasn't too bad but I still hate them. I just hate that one, slightly less." Santana says with a shrug then turns on her stomach, sliding her hands under the cool pillow.
"Does that mean we can sit again?" Rachel asks hesitantly. Santana sighs as she looks at the hopeful glint in her girlfriend's eye, wishing she had the heart to say no.
"I guess so...but I still don't want him around me. I'm not convinced I won't turn into his midnight snack." Rachel chuckles then leans over to kiss Santana's cheek.
"I love you."
"I love you too." Santana says as Rachel positions her body against hers. Santana will do a lot for Rachel if it makes her happy, even if it means letting the enemy into her home.
A/N: Thanks for reading. This one was inspired by my sister in law and her disliking of dogs and the many funny encounters I've had with her and my dog. Hope you enjoyed. See ya soon.