"That'll be the door." Raising my eyebrow at my cousin, he rushes off the answer it leaving me with the greedy Dwarf who has managed to eat his, my cousins and my own plate of food. Standing from his place I motioned for him to go into the living room, least he can't get into any of the food there. Collecting the dishes, I start to wash them, what sort of adventure does Gandalf need us to go on with Dwarves? Hearing the door open and Bilbo's sigh I grin.
Least it'll be an interesting one.
Drying my hands on a tea cloth, I follow Dwalin into the living room to be met by a white-haired dwarf with a cheery grin and a long white beard down to his waist. Seeing me enter he lets go of Dwalin's arm and bows so low his beard drapes across the carpet, hiding a grin I curtsy once more. My legs are going to be killing by the end of this.
"Balin, at your service!" Smiling at the cheery dwarf I rise from my curtsy, "Ayah Baggins at your Master Balin." It only then that I notice Dwalin's hand was stuck in the cookie jar that I keep above the mantelpiece for Bilbo when he is too absorbed by his maps to eat much, which is a shock to a Hobbit let me tell you!
"Need a hand Master Dwalin?" I try my best not to chuckle as he slides the jar off his hand and sets it down on a table with a sheepish grin. "I'm guessing you are hungry too Master Balin, please follow me let's get you fed, yes?" I turn and head for the pantry, with Bilbo's wide-eyed gaze following. He usually was always the host, he was much better at entertaining while I settled everyone down with food and drink. Leading them into the pantry I start to gather a collection of food for Balin as I hear Bilbo's voice coming up from the hallway:
"Uh, excuse me; sorry, I hate to interrupt, ah but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you are in the right house." Seeing both the Dwarves look at me, I smile and hand Balin the plate of food as Dwalin gets another tankard and fills it with ale. "It's not that I don't like visitors, I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting". Giggling softly under my breath I grab a glass of wine and hand it to Bilbo as well as a raisin cake.
"What's this?" Looking back at the two dwarves I can see them holding up some of Bilbo's blue cheese. Uh oh.
"I don't know, some kind of cheese." Narrowing my eyes at them both, praying that they aren't going to do what I think they are going to do.
"It's gone blue!"
Bilbo at this precise moment in time decides to carry on talking to the two oblivious dwarves: "The thing is, um, I don't know either of you, and neither does Ayah. Not in the slightest."
"It's riddled with mould." Dwalin swats the cheese over his shoulder on to my nice clean floor. As Bilbo carries on babbling.
"Excuse me!" I snap at all three, their heads turn in my direction as the doorbell goes off again. I point to the cheese that was on the floor as I start to turn to the door, "that better be off the floor by the time I get back boys, no one throws food on the floor in my Hobbit Hole!" I walk around the cheese as Bilbo watches me go and the two dwarves grin to one another. As I walk around the corner I can hear Balin murmur: "she's got fire that one." Huffing I roll my eyes, bloody males.
Opening up the door I am met with two more male dwarves. Holding in a grumble I try not to blush when I see they are two, young and attractive dwarves. One had golden blonde hair, with a braided moustache and striking deep blue eyes while the other had dark brown hair, stubble and brown eyes. The brown-haired dwarf grinned cheekily, shouldering his brother slightly out the way as he goes to speak the blonde one cuts him off:
"Fili-" "-and Kili", both bowing I can't stop a small smile as one of Kili's arrows fall to the ground at the deep bow they give: "at your service". Standing back straight I hide the smile as I curtsey to them both while as elegantly as I can grab the arrow off the floor.
"You must be Mrs Boggin's" Laughing I shake my head at Kili's broad smile.
"No, I am Ayah Baggins, my service to you also." Holding out the arrow with a small grin I point to my mother's glory box. "If you'd like to place your weapons on there then I suppose you can see the other two dwarves that are tearing apart my pantry". Fili smiles and starts removing his weapons as Kili steps round me and looks around the entrance.
"It's nice, this place. D'you do it yourself?" I went to answer but him wiping his boots on my mother's glory box stopped whatever nice retort I had.
"No, and I suggest you remove your foot from that before I remove it for you Master Kili" I do my best at a scolding voice, his wide-eyed stare made me grin as I turned on my heel and start towards the pantry where I left the two dwarves and my cousin. Looking at the floor I can see the cheese had been removed, good. Rubbing my brow, I can't help but shake my head. Dwarves I don't mind. Dwarves with no manners I do mind. Looking into the pantry I can't see any sign of the male-dwarves, confused I hear commotion in the dining room. Oh, Bilbo was going to have a fit.
As the doorbell goes again I can hear my cousin start shouting: "Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clot head's idea of a joke, ha ha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste." Shocked at Bilbo's shouting, I run back through the hallways to the entrance hall just in time to see him yank the front door open and eight dwarves fall onto the floor all yelling and pushing one another.
"Gandalf." Grinning, I stand in front of the group of dwarves by Bilbo and raise my eyebrows at the Wizard who was smiling.
"About time." I giggle as he steps around the dwarves as I bend and start helping them all up, an older looking dwarf with grey hair and an intricate beard and hair design was the first one I managed to right after a lot of pulling and heaving. These dwarves were heavy! Smiling slightly, he bows "Dori at your service m'lady, what a pleasure to be in your acquaintance". I go to reply before he was shoved out the way and the rest of the dwarves start telling me their names and giving me their service, Ori, Nori, Bofur, Bombur, Bifur, Oin and Gloin. Blinking in amusement I offer them all my name and service as I rush back to the pantry and start on cooking some meats for them as well as cutting bread and cheese.
"Well something smells wonderful in here my dear, are you alright?" Looking up at the Grey Wizard I smile, "the dwarves haven't made a nuisance of themselves to you, have they?" His fatherly expression made a small piece of my heart warm up, what I would have given to have my own father give me that look just once when I was growing up.
"No, no Gandalf, they've all been perfect gentlemen. Apart from throwing cheese on the floor and running mud all over Momma's glory box of course, but they've been nice to me, it's poor Bilbo you want to check on Gandalf" I muse as a I carry on cutting some chicken and beef, placing it on a plate I wash my knife and start on the bread and cheese. Hearing his chuckle, I look over at the wizard who was just watching me work. What is it with these men and just watching me?
"What?" I take a quick sip of wine as I grab the pie off the windowsill and slice a big portion, well for a Hobbit, for him. After all, I made it especially for him.
"I would never have believed it before, but you seem in your element with these dwarves in your home, even to the point of scolding them. Yes. You'll fit in very well." Shaking my head at his mumblings I wipe my hands on my pinny as I give him the plate with pie on and a fork.
"What as their mother and cook?" I joke as I pour a glass of wine for him as well. A gentle smile graces his lips as he spoke: "as a friend and confidant, yes." He goes to walk I can't help but question out loud: "you think they'd end up trusting me that much? I'm only a Hobbit, aren't Dwarves secretive beings?"
His blue eyes soften even more as he places down his glass and places his hand on my cheek, pursing his lips before he speaks. "There are a great many things you will learn on this quest Ayah, trust me that in time all will be revealed". More confused than ever I let the wizard wander out into the hall way, what will be revealed? What could I possibly not know? Obviously, my deep red hair is a question I have as all the rest of my family have brown, but I'm sure Momma said great, great great Auntie Beatrice had red hair. And the whole I don't like running around bare footed and don't have any hair on my feet is another question … but then Momma said not all Hobbits grow into their Hobbit feet … Biting my lip I slice the rest of the honeyed ham, perhaps there are things that are more prominent now that shouldn't be. Not looking like a Hobbit when I was younger and even now has pushed me out to be a little of an outcast in the Shire.
The Hobbit's as a whole aren't a trusting people anyway, so as soon as someone looks or acts different they tend to be pushed to one side. Part of the reason I love the Tooks so much, they don't care as long as you are having fun and seeking knew things. Perhaps I'll ask Old man Took after this quest, maybe he can answer some of these questions without that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins breathing down my neck.
"No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it back please. Take it back...It's antique, not for sitting on! Thank you! That's a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank you," Bilbo's angry rant wakes me up from my haze as I look down and see all the ham, beef, chicken, cheese and bread has been sliced and I was just stood holding the knife. Bemused, I place it down on the chopping board as the dwarf I helped up, Dori I think, came in through the door.
"Are you alright Master Dori?" I question as I see him looking around the room.
"I don't suppose you have a kettle to make some tea do you Mrs Baggin's?" Amused I grab the kettle, put water in side and place it on the stove to boil.
"It's Miss Baggin's or Ayah, Mister Dori, what tea would you like?" I smile at the flustered dwarf.
"Ah Chamomile please if you have any? And if I may ask, are you and Master Baggin's not husband and wife?" Shaking my head, I try not to laugh and hurt the dwarf's feelings.
"No Sir, he's my cousin and I am sure I have some chamomile around here somewhere, would you like a piece of pie to go with it before the rest of the dwarves get hold of it?" I search through the cupboards trying to find Bilbo's secret stash of tea, sneaky bugger always hides the best stuff so I can't drink it. Finding some hidden in the 'sardines' tin that had been empty for weeks I make sure the tea doesn't smell before placing some in the tea pot.
"Oh yes please, Miss Ayah! What flavour is the pie?" Grinning I portion out the rest of the pie so the rest of the dwarves will get some and give Dori his on a plate before quickly taking the kettle off the boil and pouring the water into the tea pot.
"There you go Dori, I will be out in a second." Grabbing a few plates of the pie, meat and bread I slide into the dining room and place the plates on the table before running back for more, on the last run to the dining room I can see all the dwarves starting to sit down. Placing the last plate of pie in front of Dwalin and Balin, both who gave me a grin I check to make sure all the dwarves have a tankard of ale or glass of wine.
"Ayah, please sit down you must be rushed off your feet young one. Sit!" Blushing at Gandalf's tone I quickly sit between him and a dwarf with a floppy hat, smiling softly at the dwarf I try to remember his name. I'm sure it begins with a B … Blobby? Bobby? Boff?
"Ah so Mrs Baggin's have you cooked all this food?" Chuckling I nod my head.
"Yes, I did Master Dwarf, but it's a Miss Baggin's please or Ayah, I am too young to be married off quite yet!" His sheepish grin and small glare towards Gandalf made me laugh as I grab some fruit off one of the plates. "Gandalf, what have you been telling these dwarves?" His telling grin was all I needed to know, meddling wizard. Nudging him slightly with my elbow I shake my head.
"Hey you're telling us you ain't married Miss Baggin's? Gandalf, you lied to us?" Laughing at the uncomfortable look on the wizards face he cleared his throat.
"I never actually said she was married, you all came to that conclusion yourselves", I bit into an apple to hide my grin. Aye, but he never said I wasn't married either, sneaky wizard.
The evening carried on chaotically, I kept my eye on my cousin who was looking a bit like a lost lamb. I went to go to him but Gandalf's hand on my arm and his stern look made me stay seated but I threw a few biscuits at Bilbo so he at least ate some food.
"Who wants an ale? Here you go!" Looking up at the table I completely missed Fili managing to get on to the table and walk along it managing to hit plates of food off and hit dwarves with the flying food, giggling I stand up quickly to catch one of the tankards of ale before it fell and smashed everywhere. Accidently catching one of his fingers in my hand as I grab the tankard a sharp shock went through me and I quickly release his hand with the tankard. Um that hurt! Shaking my hand slightly I see his eyes widen a pinch before giving me a very gentle smile, a completely different side to the almost standoffish dwarf I let in my home a few hours earlier. Confused I sit quickly, I can feel the blush start rising in my cheeks so I take a big gulp of ale, hopefully the rest of the dwarves will relate it to having too much to drink.
"Are you okay my dear?" Gandalf whispered, looking through his bushy eyebrows at me, nodding I rub my fingers gently, the tingling sensation still there.
"Yeah, just a small shock is all, must have been from his rings or something." Smiling up at the worried wizard I squeezed his hand, before watching all the dwarves start to have a drinking competition. The dwarf next to me raised his tankard to me before downing it. Chuckling at their antics I sip mine, I may not always be a lady but I know when I'm beaten. I start to collect a few of the empty plates listening to them start a burping contest, whatever next, before the loudest and longest one made me look up and see probably the youngest and gentlest dwarf, Ori?, look very smug. Shocked I grin at the youngest dwarf as I take the plates to the kitchen, feeling eyes on my back I glance over my shoulder and see Fili following me with his eyes. Blushing I quickly turn back and carry on into the kitchen. Weird.
Filling up the sink with water and some soap I start to clean the plates before I hear some of the Dwarves follow me in now softly chatting and laughing with one another. The floppy hatted dwarf, which I now know is called Bofur and Dwalin stand in the kitchen talking of the different taverns and pubs they had been to on the way as an annoyed Bilbo starts telling one of the other dwarfs off who enter the kitchen.
"Excuse me that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" Looking over my shoulder I can see the dwarf in question just looks bemused as if they have never heard of a doily before, Bilbo looks to me for help but I'm not exactly sure what I can do to help.
"But it's full of holes?" Bofur starts to grin, oh dear.
"It's meant to look like that, its crochet".
"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too. If you've got the balls for it". Laughing I see Bilbo's face redden in anger, I quickly try and cover my laughter with a cough. Bofur grins over at me and sends a cheeky wink, snorting I grin and shake my head. Well, they certainly were characters these lot.
Gandalf strolls in and straight away see's Bilbo having a slight mini breakdown: "My dear Bilbo, whatever is the matter?" Trying to shake my head and wave my hands about to stop Gandalf I see that it's too late and hold out for the inevitable rant that is too come.
"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?" Okay, in Bilbo rants, that was quite a short one.
"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them," he smirks over at me as Bofur and Nori start fighting over a load of sausages. Sighing I close my eyes, it's like dealing with a load of children.
Swatting both dwarves with my dish cloth I try not to smile at their shocked faces before I scold them: "no fighting over food in my kitchen, you can either share or not have any of it!" I point my finger at them both in warning but I think Dwalin ruined it slightly when he snorted, I narrowed my eyes at him slightly and waved my finger at him next: "and I've still not forgiven you for throwing that cheese on my floor Master Dwalin!" His laugh set them all off and I couldn't help but roll my eyes and place my hands on my hips. Not exactly the response I was looking for but hey, I can always just swat them again if needs be.
The dwarf with an axe in his head, Bifur, gently pushed me out of the way of the sink and started washing some of the dishes, confused I go to stop him when he gently swats my hand away and nods his head towards the dining room. Bemused, I just smile at the dwarf and quickly kiss his cheek: "Thank you Master Bifur for helping, I'll go get the rest of the dishes," I quickly step out of the kitchen missing all of the dwarves shocked faces. Grabbing some of the bowls I hear Ori ask about where he should put his plate and Fili asking him to give it to him.
Confused I stick my head out into the hallway and see the most confusing sight. Fili and Kili kicking and flicking plates and bowls between themselves and into the kitchen, quickly running to the kitchen I see Bifur catch them all. Placing the plates down I try to tell me to stop but Balin yanks me down in a chair.
"Best to stay down lovely, let them do what they do best." Worried I watch them all start to throw the plates and bowls around the dining room and start to bang a tune on the floor.
"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo cries out, I think I'm in shock because all I can do is watch in a trance as every single plate lands in a sure hand before being launched towards another dwarf. As they all start to bang on the table and hit the knives together Bilbo worries again: "And can-can you not do that? You'll blunt them!"
"Ooh, d'hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives". Bofur grins at me, huffing out a laugh all I can do is watch as Fili and Kili start off a song and before long all the dwarves start singing as clean plates start to pile up on the now clean dining table:
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on every door
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole
When you've finished, if any are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
...
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
Bilbo runs in to the dining room huffing in anger, but slumps against the door as he sees everything piled up clean and all the dwarves grinning and laughing as is Gandalf. Smiling softly at the other Hobbit in the room I shrug at their antics, these Dwarves really are a cheerful and mischievous bunch.
The laughter all stopped however when three loud thumps on the door sounded through the Hobbit Hole, looking up at Gandalf I can see stress lines start to form around his eyes and mouth.
"He is here."