This chapter is a little bit longer than the others. Mostly because I have this grand scheme of how this story should develop and thus requires me to put more into the chapters. Hope y'all don't mind. Once again, thank you for all the love and reviews! Past and future ones. Hehehe. I write this story for you, my devoted readers!! (and because I like Pansy and Draco. lol). Anywhoo, on with the show!
To say that Pansy was mad would have been an understatement. No, she was livid. Furious, even! That heartless monster, Pansy thought. That selfish, conniving, cold-hearted bastard! With his annoying arrogance, uncaring demeanor, devilishly good looks-
"Okay, where did that last one come from?" she murmured to herself. She shook her head. "There really must be a fine line between love and hate," she mused.
She pushed a first year Hufflepuff, who was in her way, out of spite. And also because she thought she saw the girl give her a weird look. Gotta stop talking to myself out loud, she thought.
She was late for her next class. She didn't care. She didn't plan on going anyways. Instead she meandered around the castle just thinking. So she lied. She didn't hate Draco. And no, she wasn't over him. But damn it! She wasn't going to look like a love-sick sap waiting for him to come back to her like some forlorn lover. That was more like a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff, not a Slytherin. She had some pride for crying out loud!
She walked aimlessly into the common room and found Daphne seated comfortably on a love seat.
"Pans! I got your stuff right here," she said, pointing to Pansy's bag.
"Thanks, Daph. So I'm guessing you skipped class too?" Pansy made her way over to the sofa facing the fireplace and elegantly seated herself.
"We're graduating in a few weeks. I'm not going to waste anymore time with the incompetent professors of this school," Daphne huffed and flipped her hair.
"Agreed"
"So?" Daphne eyed her in a meaningful way.
"So what?" The meaning was lost on Pansy.
Daphne clicked her tongue. "Don't hold out on me. Rumors and gossip are flying out of control all over the school. Draco chased you down? Did you know Violet was seen crying her eyes out in the lavatory? Weasley has a blackeye! What happened!"
Violet's tirade made Pansy dizzy. "One at a time Daphne! Yes, Draco chased me down. But only to tell me I needed to be more "mature" about our breakup. Whatever that means. I clocked Weasley in the face because he thought he felt me up when I ran into him. Whatever happened with Violet is news to me," Pansy explained.
"Hunh. Daisy told me that she overheard Violet's friends talking about how Draco dumped her."
"Well that didn't take too long did it?" Pansy started examining her nails. It was her trademark "I don't give a damn" act.
"I thought you'd sound more pleased with the news. It certainly is surprising" Daphne said.
Pansy started absent mindedly playing with a silver ring on her middle finger. She caught herself. Damn! She didn't even realize she still wore the stupid thing. She had worn it everyday since Draco had given it to her. She practically forgot she even had it. She took it off her finger and held it up to her eye-level, peering at Daphne through the ring. She smiled. She closed her eyes and threw the ring over her shoulder as hard as she could.
"It's Draco bloody Malfoy. He probably got tired of her, found someone new and is already feeling her up in some broom closet," Pansy said. She knew she sounded bitter.
"Or he could be standing in the doorway listening to you cows babble about him," said a familiar voice.
Daphne was startled. But Pansy didn't even bother opening her eyes. Instead, she let out a long sigh.
"I think you're becoming a tad bit too obsessive to be following me around everywhere, Malfoy," she said.
He placed his hands in his pockets and sauntered over to the sofa. He pointed at Daphne and then the doorway. She immediately got up.
"Catch ya later, Pans"
"Yeah, yeah," Pansy replied, waving her hand half-heartedly. She got up and came face to face with Draco.
"What? What is it? For crying out loud Draco, this is getting real old. You find me, talk to me, and I tell you how much I hate you. It's so routine I don't even know why you bother! What do you want?" she cried incredulously.
"You"
"I—wait, what?"
"Not like what you think. I don't want you to hate me"
She scoffed. "Easier said than done"
"No. But you are. ." He started shifting uncomfortably. "You are a friend. The only one I consider to be my friend. Not a lackey, or some girl I can fool around with in an empty classroom, although we've done that before" He winked at her.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Draco—"
"Just listen. I'm not good at this mushy mumbo jumbo. It gives me chills and makes me want to vomit. But I have to tell you. You're the only one I can talk to, the only one who doesn't follow my orders or obeys my every command. Instead you harp and rave and fight me. You make my life . . . interesting, to say the least"
"Somebody has to put you in your place from time to time," she retorted.
"And who would that be if you aren't in my life?" He crossed his arms. "The point is, I can't not have you in my life"
"What does that mean exactly? You're confusing me"
"I told you I'm not good with this. It means I want us to be like when we were together, but not be together"
She looked at him, still confused. He sighed and uncrossed his arms. He placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I want us to be like how we were, just no relationship stuff like kissing. Although if you wanted to throw in the kissing I wouldn't object," he said as he placed his hand on her bare thigh and started traveling up.
She swatted his hand. Hard. "Dammit Draco! I haven't even said yes or no and you're trying to pull your moves on me" She said it in a playful way because it was Draco. Even if she tried to, she knew she couldn't erase him out of her life. They had something. And she couldn't define it just in terms of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. She couldn't really define it, just that it was something deep. And it meant a lot to her. She understood then what he meant.
"I believe the term you're looking for Malfoy, is "friends". You want us to be friends. Although I must admit, it is kind of sickening saying it out loud," Pansy said, frowning.
"We can label ourselves as acquaintances instead. That sounds less Gryffindorkish"
"This doesn't mean I'm forgiving you for what you did, you know"
"I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I'm a Malfoy"
"Well then, what a great way to start our so-called friendship," she said sarcastically.
"You might not forgive me for what I did, but you don't hate me," he said simply. He ran his fingers through her hair.
He was right. She knew it. She had known it for some time. She had loved him for who he was, still loved him. It would be contradictory for her to say that she hated him for being himself. No, she could never hate him. She just couldn't let him hurt her like that ever again.
But could she really do that to herself? If she allowed him to be her 'friend', she would seem like a doormat. His doormat. Let him break your heart, make a fool out of you and then welcome him with open arms? NO!
Despite her prestigious position in Slytherin, everyone always thought that she bent over backwards and out of her way to please Draco. Which wasn't even true. Salazar knew they argued a lot behind closed doors. They were both stubborn. But when it came down to important things, like sticking up for each other when sickening Gryffindors were trying their hardest to insult them, she stood proudly by his side. When the entire school despised your house, you had to make your stand together.
She couldn't hate him, but she wanted to make him regret hurting her. Her pride wouldn't accept anything less. And she realized that he just presented her with a perfect opportunity to do so. While being his "friend", she figured she could constantly flirt with him, tease him a little, get him jealous. Make him want her back. She would make certain he missed her as his girlfriend. And when he did come crawling back to her, she would refuse him. She would make a fool out of him! And he would never have to know that she planned it to be so. Merlin it was perfect! She was a Slytherin for a reason after all.
A slow smile crept up on Pansy's face.
"Fine. I accept your offer Malfoy"
"How could you not" It was a statement, accompanied by his smirk.
She was still trying to work out the details of her plan, when he grabbed her arm.
"What are you doing?" she asked as he started dragging her with him.
"It'll be lunch soon. I'm starving and I'll be cursed if I have to put up with one more dull conversation with Crabbe and Goyle," he replied.
"What, no intellectual thoughts spouting from those two geniuses?" she joked.
He rolled his eyes. "Honestly Pans, you know you're the only one I can stand to actually listen to, much less have a conversation with," he said in an offhanded way.
They entered the banquet hall and proceeded to their table. Lunch had just started and people were still milling in from their last classes. Daphne was with Nott, next to Crabbe and Goyle. She was talking to Nott, but stopped mid-sentence when she saw Draco and Pansy walking towards the table. Nott looked at her strangely before turning to see what she was looking at. When Pansy and Draco finally got there, he looked at Draco questioningly but Draco either didn't notice or just downright ignored him.
Draco waited until Pansy was seated before settling down next to her. Pansy felt an uncomfortable silence set in but Draco didn't seem to pay any heed to it and just helped himself to some sandwiches. She felt like their whole table was staring at them. Nosy bastards, she thought.
Nott finally spoke up. "So, back to this again are we, mate?"
"No, we're just okay now," Pansy replied, a little too quickly for Draco's liking. He gave her a funny look but she just brushed it off. "Gotta stick together to lead this house of miscreants, isn't that right Malfoy?"
"A useless lot indeed if we weren't around," Draco agreed.
"I imagine it makes prefect duty easier," Daphne commented, although she threw Pansy a suspicious look.
Pansy just smiled sweetly at her. Then someone caught her attention. From her peripheral, Pansy spotted Blaise, who had just walked in through the great double doors and was now approaching the table. Perfect, she thought. She nudged Draco on his side.
"Scoot over Malfoy. Blaise! Come sit over here," she said, patting the empty seat on her left. She tried to sound indifferent, to make it seem as if it was no big deal that she wanted him to sit next to her. Pansy did not want to seem obvious in what she was doing. The last thing she needed was for Draco to figure out her scheming.
She winked at Blaise as he seated himself, even though she knew Draco wouldn't have seen it, just because she felt extra flirty. And because she knew Daphne and Nott would notice and talk about it later. Count on Slytherins to gossip about anyone and anything, because they loved to hear the sound of their own voice.
She paid Blaise no more attention the minute he sat down however. She didn't want to overdo it. She had to play it just right. She focused instead on her food and Daphne who started babbling about how she was going to visit France as soon as she graduated.
The conversation quickly became a bore and she turned to Draco, who she found was staring at her, looking slightly irritated.
"Something wrong, Draco?" Pansy asked, pretending to sound genuinely concerned. She used his first name on purpose. She should win an award for this for sure.
She made a long exaggerated sigh. "Oh, alright fine! I'll grab another sandwich. But you really have to stop insisting I eat more. I don't want to end up looking like a cow a few years down!"
She knew that wasn't why he was irritated. She just wanted to make it seem like asking Blaise to sit next to her was no big deal; like she'd already forgotten that she even did that. She had to play this slow, build it up gradually and let the jealousy fester. Pansy was giddy on the inside. Oh ho ho! Definitely a best actress award of some sort. Wait, scratch that. More like, best devious plan award. Did that even exist? Bah, she'd make it up and then award it to herself.
She grabbed a sandwich and bit it in front of his face. "There, happy?"
She watched Draco as his face turned into a look of confusion, but then he seemed to regain control of himself. She knew he wasn't about to admit that he was . . . what exactly? A little jealous? She was willing to bet he'd kiss Goyle first before admitting to that right now.
"Hn. The way you eat, you'd more likely end up looking like a broomstick. Eat some more," he said as placed an apple on her plate.
She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Very charming," he said. He then quickly reached out and brushed her left cheek. "For crying out loud Pansy, eat more slowly. You've got crumbs all over your face"
"Thanks, babe. But I can't. I've got to get back to the common room to finish my reading for advanced potions"
It was a reaction. It came out of her mouth automatically as she was reaching for her apple. She froze. She did not just call him that. What was that again about best actress? Damn it! Not even one day into her great master plan and here she was screwing it all up! She got comfortable and old habits die hard. Mental note: don't let guard down around Malfoy.
She found Daphne and Nott staring at her. She didn't have to look at Draco because she could FEEL him staring at her, smirking. Blaise seemed to be the only one who didn't care or didn't catch her slip up. He kept his bored-out-of-my-mind expression about as he picked at his plate.
She cleared her throat and smiled a fake smile. Act calmly, she thought. Pretend it didn't even happen. "Anyways, I gotta get going," she said as she stuffed the apple in her bag. She took her time. Rushing out of there meant admitting she actually said it.
"I actually want to beat snooty Granger for the top grade. I mean, if there's one class I should excel in, it should at least be the class our head of house is teaching. Don't want to embarrass our house or Snape"
She gathered up her bag, ignoring the looks. Suddenly, Blaise got up.
"I'll join you. I've had about enough of this so-called food," and with that he tossed his sandwich on his plate and followed her. Half-way to the doors he slung his arm around her shoulders.
He leaned over to her. "Plus, I think I'd rather prefer your company than theirs," he slyly whispered to her.
Pansy actually, genuinely blushed. Then she laughed for her audience, who she knew was still watching her and Blaise as they exited the hall.
