Chapter 29: Pickles and Ice Cream?

"She's pregnant!" Arthur exclaimed with joy. "Dutch! Hosea! Jesus Christ!" Arthur started laughing, his cackling full of happiness as he ran to Dutch's tent. "Dutch! Dutch! Shit, wait a minute!" He ran back and grabbed the list from Sean, then almost ran into Dutch and gave him the list. "Here, read this."

Dutch started reading and Hosea peeked over Dutch's shoulder. "Pickles? Ice cream? Weight gain? Arthur, what in the he-" Dutch's eyes lit up. "Lilly's pregnant? But she's barren!"

"Not anymore!" Arthur smiled with pride. "You both are gonna be grandfathers!"

Hosea snatched the list and beamed. "Grandfathers?! I'll be god damned! Where is she?"

Arthur's face tightened. "Oh, she's asleep! I'm...oh, why didn't she tell me? Why didn't that doctor tell me?" He suddenly remembered what he overheard and frowned. "Oh. I told her...Christ, I really am an idiot!" Arthur took the paper and jogged to his and Lilly's tent. He walked in with a big smile. Lilly was sitting up, puking into a bucket. He grabbed the bottle of dramamine and rushed to her side, grabbing a small teaspoon from the bag and pouring the medicine into it. "Take this, darlin'."

Lilly wiped her mouth and Arthur spoon fed her. She swallowed and put the bucket down. "Ugh, thanks. What the hell is that shite?"

"Dramamine, for your nausea. You have a list of instructions here." Arthur handed it to her and started placing the bottles and jars on her nightstand, one by one. "Feelin' better?"

"Yes, I already do. That stuff works...what in the hell? Why would I want pickles and ice cream? Excessive weight gain? I'm gonna get overly fat from bein' puh...parasited?"

Arthur laughed and stroked her hair. "You ain't got a parasite and you know it," he chastised in a frisky sort of tone.

Lilly looked at him and frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know you said you didn't want any kids. I'm so sorry!" Lilly covered her face.

Arthur pulled her hands back and laughed. "Lillian Rose, ní raibh mé in ann a bheith níos sásta go bhfuil tú ag iompar mo linbh." [I couldn't be more happy that you are carrying my child.]

"You're...you're happy about this? But you said-"

Arthur kissed her deeply. "Forget what I said before. I ain't feelin' that way now." He kissed her again but she turned away. "What's wrong? Ain't you happy?"

"I am," she said softly. "But I was so used to the idea of never bearin' children. I wasn't comfortable with it, but I was...I got by. Now, I'm-I'm-I'm confused. How did this happen?"

Arthur smiled brightly at Lilly and put an arm around her. "Sex. That's how it happened."

"I meant me becomin' fertile, ya god damn bithiúnach," Lilly said with a giggle.

"I knew what you meant. I was only tryin' to cheer you up."

"Ya think The Morrigan did it? When I came back from the dead?"

"Hmm," Arthur hummed, scratching his chin. "Maybe, but I don't care how it happened. I'm only happy it did."

Lilly smiled. "Yer gonna be a father! Oh! We're gonna have an heir! Oh! What am I gonna say tah Patrick? Do ya think he'll be mad?"

"I have a feelin' he won't."

"How do you know?"

"Well..."

Arthur sat with Patrick in the sitting room of their ship's apartment drinking brandy. "Arthur, if ya dunna mind me asking, how did Lilly become barren? Mr. Pierce told me something about an accident?"

"She fell out of a tree. Got impaled by a stick, went right into her womb," Arthur said sadly. "She took it kinda hard."

"I would imagine so," Patrick said, drinking from his glass. "Well, ya know, I admire ya bein' with her in spite of that."

"I had a kid once." Arthur paused before taking a sip of brandy. "His mother and him died years ago."

"I'm sorry. What was yer son's name?"

"Isaac. He was only three when he died. And his mother Eliza, she was so young. Nineteen when I met her."

"If ya dunna mind me sayin', Lilly told me ya had an issue about your age difference. Was it because of Eliza?"

Arthur squinted his eyes in deep thought. "That was part of it. I was a lot older than Eliza," Arthur said with a frown, drinking his brandy. "Mostly, I felt like a dirty old man, but yeah, I think it just hit too close to home when it came to Lilly and me."

"But not anymore?"

"After bein' lost in a blizzard for three days, Lilly finally got found by one of the gang. She took down a grizzly bear the very next day."

Patrick choked on his drink. "She did what?" Arthur laughed as he told Patrick his perspective on Lilly's showdown with a grizzly bear, how she goaded it relentlessly, how the wolves came to her aid, how she used only her bow and knives to slay the beast, and how casual and collected she was afterward. Arthur explained that was when he decided to hell with the age gap and he made Lilly his woman later that day. Patrick looked in awe. "My God, what a woman."

Arthur laughed. "She sure is. So, let me ask you. Are you still wantin' to pursue her? Even with her infertility?"

Patrick sighed and shook his head. "No. Even if she was fertile, I doubt I could ever separate ya from each other, so I hereby concede me claim on her...if ya promise me just one thing."

"Of course," Arthur said with a smile.

"Dunna let that Papa fella have her. He's bad news."

"Deal." They clinked glasses and they drank.

"Huh. That explains a lot," Lilly said, chuckling from her amusement. "So ya didna drink each other under the table?"

"We did. That man can really drink," said Arthur. "I was impressed."

"Who won?"

"I did, of course," he said with a smile.

Lilly raised a brow. "You outdrank an Irishman?" she asked with heavy skepticism in her voice.

"Mmhmm." Arthur quirked his lip then sighed. "Alright. It was a tie. We were both so 'malafoostered' we couldn't keep track, so we called it a tie."

Lilly laughed at him and kissed his lips. "So, are ya hopin' for a boy or a girl?"

"I'm hopin' for a healthy child. What about you?"

"A healthy girl. I'd like to keep this tradition goin' of the eldest girl bein' the Countess of Moycullen."

"Ha! Names?"

Lilly giggled. "I don't know. I never thought of baby names before."

"They'll have to be Irish names, I reckon?"

Lilly shrugged. "I dunno. We got plenty of time to think about it."

Lilly kissed his hand. "Shall we go announce the pregnancy?"

"I was hopin' you'd say that," Arthur said, his white teeth flashing at her. "After that, we should go do that one thing. That Jim Calloway deal. I only need two more, if you're up for it."

"Oh yeah, we haven't had action like that in ages, it seems. And I'm very up for it now. That medicine you gave me is a miracle!"

They both stood up and walked out of the tent hand in hand. Dutch, Hosea and Sean were waiting for them. Arthur cleared his throat. "Dutch, Hosea, we'd like to make an announcement to everyone."

After the announcement was made, Lilly was surrounded by all the women in camp. They were all ecstatic about the baby. They all were talking about a million things all at once, especially Abigail. She finally had someone to talk to about what pregnancy was like and Lilly smiled, thankful she knew someone who had first hand knowledge of being with child. Arthur was given multiple cigars and the gang was going to hold a party in their honor but Arthur had plans for his wife that day. He approached her with a smile.

Let's go do somethin'," Arthur said.

"Like what?" Lilly asked.

"I haven't finished with all those gunslingers yet. I got two more. Flaco and Belle. You up for finishin' it with me?"

Lilly beamed. "God yes! Let's go!"

Arthur laughed. "Let's do Flaco first. He's way up in the Grizzlies."

Lilly decided to take Liath for the journey. She loved Doc but Liath was better suited for traveling through snow. They mounted up, Lilly whistled for the boys and they headed off north.

"Anythin' I should know about this Flaco guy?" Lilly asked.

"He's more than likely got a gang with him. At least ten, according to my information."

Arthur got the portrait from his bag and handed it to Lilly. "Yeah, what a terrible ogre he must be," Lilly mocked.

"Ha! You're funny."

"Thank you." She read the info on the back. "Wanted in eight states. My my. Deep in the mountains. An unlikely conversationalist. Wait, I thought you were supposed to interview these guys?"

"Well, the writer told me if any of them got "uppity", I was supposed to shoot 'em."

Lilly broke into a hysterical fit. "Uppity? Did he really say uppity?"

"He sure did."

"Hahahaaa, ahaaahaaaa, shit. That's funnier than hell."

"So, uh, the other one. Black Belle? She's kinda near Saint Denis, so if you don't want to-"

"Oh, of course the one I'm lookin' forward to is near my own personal hell? Shit!"

Arthur laughed. "Bluewater Marsh. Is that too close?"

Lilly sighed. "Well, I hopefully won't see Saint Denis in the distance from there, so no. Not too close."

Arthur grinned with a nod. "Okay. Onward to Flaco, then."

Lilly eyed him. "Thanks for takin' me out. I been wantin' to get back into action right away."

"Me too. As much as I loved Ireland, I missed our regular routine."

They talked more as they went along, but mostly they just had each other's company and enjoyed it. It wasn't long until they passed by Wallace Station when Arthur stopped his horse. "You gotta be kiddin' me," he said almost happily.

"What? Lilly stopped too. She saw a man in a green vest and gray pants with a camera. "Who is that?"

"That is Albert Mason. He's an amateur wildlife photographer. On my way to help get Sean back, I ran into him and had to chase a coyote for him."

"A coyote?" Lilly laughed.

"Coyote stole his bag."

Lilly laughed. "Wanna see what your buddy is up to?"

"Sure." They both trotted to the man and got off their horses. Arthur approached the photographer. "Hello again," Arthur blurted out.

The man backed up with a start. "Hello!" he yelped, holding a hand to his chest. "Oh hello! How are you, sir? Ah, Morgan. Mr. Morgan. I'm sorry, my...my nerves," he said, adjusting the lens on his perched camera. "I'm not quite the outdoor adventurer I thought. This is God's own country, and I feel I'm in purgatory."

"I know the feelin'," Arthur remarked.

"Oh, I hope not," Mr. Mason laughed breathlessly.

"Oh, trust me, sir. Purgatory ain't as bad as real hell," Lilly commented.

Albert peeked at the woman. "Ah, I don't believe I've had the pleasure, Miss...?"

"Mrs. Morgan."

"Oh, I'm Mr. Mason. Oh! Mr. Morgan, I didn't even know you were married."

"Yes, that's recent. And," Arthur put an arm around Lilly. "We just found out we're expectin'."

"Expecting?" The man stood straight up. "Expecting what?"

Arthur cackled. "She's pregnant, Mr. Mason."

"Oh! Sorry, I'm a buffoon! Congratulations!"

"Thank you. Hmm," Arthur took a step from Lilly to Albert. "Whatchu tryin' to take some pictures of?" Arthur asked. "Some more greedy coyotes?"

"No..." the man smiled, fiddling with his camera. "Wolves."

Arthur cackled. "Well shit, if you want wolves..."

Lilly giggled. "Brian! James! Here boys!"

The two giant pups came bounding up and looked up at Lilly. Mr. Mason yelped. "Oh my God! They're gigantic!"

Lilly cackled loudly. "Yes they are. Still growin' too, apparently."

Albert bent down at the knees. "You must be joking. Oh, no, you're not. They're clearly juveniles still. My goodness." Mason got back up. "Well, if they don't mind having their picture taken, there's some meat over in that-" Wolves howled nearby and Brian and James' fur raised up. "Uh oh."

A small pack came over the hill. Arthur and Lilly took out their revolvers while Lilly's pups got in a position to run and pounce. "Eeeeeasy, boys," Lilly said. "Easy."

The pack went sniffing around the tree with the meat hanging from a branch. Arthur and Lilly ducked down. "Well, you got your wild ones now, Mr. Mason," Arthur said quietly.

"Good boys, hungry boys, come on," Mr. Mason whispered. "Stay back, stay back," Mason waved to Arthur. "Can't have a man in the frame, they'd think it staged."

"It sorta is," Arthur said.

The flash of the camera startled some of the wolves. "Look at them...magnificent creatures," Mason whispered.

One of the wolves turned its attention on the group and made a low growl. The wolf pups snarled and Lilly hushed them, running her palms along their backs to calm them. "It's okay, boys, just stay calm," Lilly cooed.

"Yeah, magnificent, especially when they're clawin' at your eyeballs," Arthur said matter-of-factly. Lilly snorted and covered up her chuckling.

"Come on. Stay still, my beauties," Mason spoke in a soft tone.

Lilly noticed more wolves showing up. "Oh great. I think now would be a good time to get done with the photo shoot, Mr. Mason," Lilly urged sternly.

"Just one more picture. Come closer, you wonderful little beast."

Lilly rolled her eyes. This guy was either brave, insane, or stupid. Or all three. "Mason!" Arthur hissed.

The camera flashed again and the wild beasts became agitated, growling and snarling. James and Brian started but Lilly shushed them both.

"Oh my," Mason said, backing away. "They don't seem to be fans of modern technology."

Lilly decided right then and there. Mr. Mason was stupid. "On the other hand, looks like they may be fans of you!" Arthur barked.

The wolves got closer and Lilly sighed. "Go get 'em, boys!"

Brian and James went for the bulk of the pack while Lilly turned and shot a wolf in the face behind her. Arthur and Lilly circled around Mr. Mason opposite each other, shooting any wolves that got too close. "How's this for action, honey?" Arthur asked.

"Decent!" Lilly replied with a laugh, firing at another wolf. Brian and James tore through the pack like hot knives through butter and it didn't take long for the group of wolves to all be shot or ripped to pieces. "Well, that was quick work," Lilly said in a casual tone.

"Is that all of 'em? We might'a kept the wolves from the door," Arthur said, helping Mr. Mason up and brushing him off.

"My whole futile existence flashed before my eyes!" Mason said in a trembling voice.

"Yeah, they can be pretty aggressive."

Lilly chuckled and called her wolves over. "Good boys," she said, stroking their white fur.

"What a way to...literally a dog's dinner!" Mason gasped. Arthur picked up the flasher to examine it. "Still, worse things happen at sea."

"Do they?" Arthur chuckled as he handed the object back to Albert.

"Oh, I imagine. Perhaps wolves do better at sea. Are they good swimmers?"

"Mine are!" Lilly giggled.

"Haha! Well, Mr. Morgan, you have saved my poor, foolish skin once again! And you, Mrs. Morgan! Thank you! I can't begin to repay my debt of gratitude! But know, I am eternally in your debts."

"Don't mention it," Arthur said in a deep voice.

Lilly started skinning one of the wolves. The pelt wasn't too shot up but she was certain the meat was okay. And it was. "Sir, if you still want a shot of my wolves, by all means!"

"Right! Just...checking this equipment. If only my hands weren't shaking quite so much."

Lilly finished the skinning and slicing then called Liath over and put the pelt on his rump. "Deep breaths, Mr. Mason." She packaged the meat up, sniffed herself and almost gagged. Why did the scent of blood suddenly smell awful to her? "Oh good grief. Arthur, did you bring my dramamine?"

"Yes. You gonna vomit again?"

"Apparently blood is now on my list of bad smells."

Arthur cackled. "I can tell this kid's gonna be a troublemaker for you." Arthur walked to her and gave her a dose of the medicine. "There we go."

Lilly sighed with relief as the nausea went away. "That stuff is amazin, thank you." Lilly kissed Arthur and walked to the pups. "Alright, you boys ready for a pose?"

After a few shots with the wolves along with themselves, Lilly and Arthur thanked Mr. Mason and headed north once again. They stopped by a stream so Lilly could wash the blood off and the pups ran past her, splashing her white and black colored summer gunslinger outfit. Lilly laughed and splashed them back. She got up, walked to Arthur, grabbed him by his bandana and placed a smooch on him before they mounted up once more. When they got to the western base of Mount Hagen, they yanked out their winter coats and gloves. Lilly switched to her white fur winter boots. They traveled up further until they were in the mountains, not too far from Cairn Lake, which is where Flaco Hernandez was. Allegedly. At the top of a hill by Cairn Lake, they spotted a small lodge. Sure enough, there were men swarming the place.

"Hmm. This might be difficult," Lilly said.

"Difficult?" Arthur replied in a sly voice. "You think that's difficult?"

"Well, what if I smell blood and throw up?"

Arthur let out a soft chuckle. "You, Lillian, ain't gonna get stopped by that and you know it."

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Your faith in me is so moving," she said sarcastically.

"If you wanna stay back, I can-"

"And make you deal with them on your own? Hell no. Besides, I ain't stayin' back here just so I can get fuckin' snatched up again. Nope, not happenin'."

"Fair enough."

Arthur and Lilly got off their horses. "Hey boys...go hide."

Brian and James ran off to the sides of the lake and Lilly followed her husband over to the lodge. "Hey! Who's that? You're in the wrong camp, strangers!" A man said, coming out from the trees in front of them.

"Huh. You don't wanna die for-"

Lilly put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "I got this. Hello sir! How are ya doin'?"

The man aimed his gun at them both. "Away with you both! Now!"

Lilly sighed. "Now now, no need for all this trigger pullin' excitement. Ya wouldna shoot a lady now, would ya?" Lilly said with a smile. "My associate and I are only here to talk to your leader, Flaco Hernandez. Somethin' about a man writin' a book about famous gunslingers?" Lilly closed in on the man. "Just a chat is all we want."

The man wasn't biting. "Get out!"

Lilly sighed and looked at Arthur. "My chattin' skills are falterin' now, too. This kinda puts me out." Lilly turned back and quickly backhanded the man in the face. He went flying and smashed into a tree, getting knocked out. "Huh. At least my strength is still around."

Arthur laughed quietly and walked up to her. "Maybe your silver tongue is havin' an off day."

"Hey! Who are you?" another guard said. "What did you do to Jose?!"

"He got uppity!" Lilly snapped.

Shots were fired and Lilly and Arthur ducked behind objects for cover. Arthur laughed at her. "Uppity?!"

"Well, he did!" Lilly and Arthur shot at the men trying to flank them. Lilly whistled to her boys. "Brian! James! Kill!"

Snarls and growls were heard in the camp as well as screams and shouts and sounds of men dying. The couple only had a few more guys to shoot while the wolves took care of the rest. The Morgans stood up and went walking to the camp to loot. Arthur handed the wolves some raw meat and they chewed on it happily as Arthur and Lilly took money and other items off their victims.

"Men? Talk to me!" A man yelled from inside the shack.

"Oh boy. I reckon that is Hernandez. He don't sound too happy," Arthur said.

"Oh, just shoot him if he gets uppity."

Arthur and Lilly cackled at the joke. "Alright. I'll deal with him. You loot the bodies." Arthur went walking and Lilly went around camp looting the dead men. She heard Arthur yapping away.

"Flaco Hernandez. You in there?" Arthur shouted. "I didn't want trouble, but...I'm just here to speak with you. About Boy Calloway? I'm unarmed."

Lilly chuckled to herself. "Yes, sure."

The door creaked open and Lilly looked over. Yep. That wad definitely Flaco. Lilly could hear him muttering Spanish as he wiped slop off his lip. Ugh.

"I just wanna talk," Arthur said. About Boy Calloway."

"Sure. Here's your message!"

Lilly sighed and moved out of the line of fire. "Here we go." One shot rang out and of course, her husband won the duel. "Good shot, mo chuisle!"

Arthur tipped his hat to her and took a picture of Flaco's body. They left on their horses and made south.