It's the second day of school and we're already hard at work in math class. And by we I mean everyone else, because I don't pay attention in any of these classes that often. But for this class I made sure to stay awake and pretend to pay attention due to the teacher, Miss Ririko, being a pain in the ass to students who don't pay attention in her classes.
Apparently Kurumu chose to take a nap while Ririko was lecturing and she happened to notice the drool running off the desk. Unfortunately for her, Ririko notices her without any real effort and with a flick of her wrist, Ririko launches one of her rulers into Kurumu's head like a throwing knife.
Kurumu jumps up from her seat and lets out a eardrum shattering scream as she grasps at the ruler in pain. As she calms down, she looks around the room to see everyone is staring at her.
"Good morning Kurumu. Did you have a nice dream while you were sleeping through my lecture?", Ririko asks her as she twirls her other ruler in her left hand. Most of the class starts laughing at Kurumu's stupidity while Ririko's smug look somehow managed to become even smugger, if that's even possible. Ririko pushes up her glasses and says, "Though this is a school for monsters, its main objective is coexistence with humans so we must maintain academic standards similar to their own. Now could you kindly answer this question on the board Moka?"
Moka stands up from her seat and proceeds to solve the math problem step by step, though I didn't pay too much attention to that since I already knew the answer and she was only going to tell me what I already knew. After she finally said the answer for what might have been the second time the class began to compliment her for being what they believe to be perfect and how beautiful they think she is. I find it funny how they believe she's perfect, but have no idea how dangerous her other self is or that she even has a separate personality.
Kurumu looks over to Tsukune and says, "That problem wasn't even that hard. Right Tsukune?" But when I look over Tsukune seems to be enthralled by Moka's charm as well and Kurumu seems slightly disappointed in her own ability to gain Tsukune's attention.
Ririko then places her ruler back on her desk and says, "You all are sophomores now so you're going to have to get serious about your studies. Since the school was closed for so long we fell behind so we're going to have to do some making up for that lost time." She then looks directly at Kurumu and tells her, "Please follow Moka's example a bit more, okay Kurumu?", then she ends the class there and most of the students leave the room.
After all the students leave Yukari looks through her bag and grabs a pair of fake glasses that look very similar to Ririko's and a ruler. She then gets up and walks up to Kurumu and says in her best Ririko impression, "Please follow Moka's example a bit more, okay Kurumu?", before busting out laughing. Yukari starts rolling on the floor as she say, "Your stupidity has finally been exposed, Kurumu, especially compared to Moka!"
"You shouldn't say such things about your friends Yukari.", Tsukune notes before Kurumu snaps and grabs Yukari by her shirt and starts to shake her like a rag doll. Yukari doesn't seem phased though and continues to laugh until she passes out. Tsukune, trying to calm Kurumu down, says, "What Ririko said probably only applies to Math, right? Everyone has something that they are better at than others."
"Yeah, but Kurumu's inability extends beyond just Math, though.", Mizore interjects as she pops out from under Tsukune's desk.
"Shut up Mizore!", Kurumu shouts as she drops Yukari on the ground like a lifeless doll.
I let out a heavy sigh and add, "You all have your own strengths and weaknesses. None of you are perfect and have flaws just like everyone else. Deal with it."
"Well there's at least one thing I know I beat Moka in.", Kurumu notes as she presses her chest against Moka's.
"What are you...", Moka begins to ask as her cheeks begin to go red, but Kurumu interrupts her by saying, "Oh, did I bump into you? I couldn't tell with those tiny lumps you call tits."
"What the hell!? Your breasts are all you have to offer!?", Moka exclaims, completely caught off guard by Kurumu's lewd behavior.
Kurumu presses herself against Moka even further as she says, "No no no. I also offer better fan service!"
Moka begins to push back while saying, "It's better to not show the world your panties!"
As we watch this all turn out, Tsukune's face turns almost completely red from this awkward scene right in front of us. He tries to break up the fight between the two by saying, "Wait! Why are you guys fighting about such a stupid thing!?", but that does basically nothing.
Instead, Kurumu grabs Tsukune by his shoulder and asks, "Why don't ask Tsukune? Which of us is better?" Much to his surprise, she then shoves Tsukune in between both of their chests and says, "Just like this."
Tsukune tries to say something, but a drastic nosebleed kind of keeps that from happening and he passes out.
As Kurumu and Moka continue to argue with each other, I manage to catch him before he falls face first onto the floor. I set Tsukune down with his back against the wall, desperately trying to keep Tsukune's blood off of my shirt, and Mizore starts to poke Tsukune in his face to wake him up, which surprisingly works.
"I've had it with you! That was unforgivable Kurumu!", Moka exclaims as she glares at the Succubus.
"Then it's on! You against me to see who is the better woman! Then next class will decide it all!", Kurumu shouts with a smug grin coming across her face.
Mizore looks over to me with a confused glance and asks, "What even is the next class?"
I shrug in response and ask Tsukune, "Do you happen to remember what we have next?"
"Miss Nekonome had some sort of notice on her board that said that we were going to have some sort of 'Special Hands-On Training' today and to meet by the bus stop.", he replies as he wipes the blood from his nose with a tissue.
"Okay, I guess that's where we're heading then.", I suggest as I make my way out of the room.
We all then make our way to the bus stop where the bus is already wait for us surprisingly and once the whole class has taken their seats on the bus we head to what I believe is the outer forests around the school. Once we arrive we find Nekonome standing behind a table in what feels like the middle of nowhere. "Miss Nekonome, what is this 'Special Hands-On Training' that we are doing today?", I ask as soon as I see her.
"Well, today's special hands-on training will be a fruit gathering expedition!", she replies in her usual enthusiastic tone.
Tsukune begins to look around and asks, "Why are we suddenly going on a fruit gathering expedition in a place like this?"
"Well the forests around the school are filled with mountain strawberries, spring grapes and carnivorous plants that have been preying on birds and smaller animals. These are all gifts from nature that we should be taking advantage of!", she replies with even more enthusiasm.
Tsukune begins to sweat after hearing that last part and asks, "What do you mean by 'carnivorous plants,' Miss Nekonome?", but he never gets an answer.
She ignores him and continues on with her explanation, saying, "And this is the current center piece, a monster durian!", as she shows a spiky looking fruit with multiple mouths on it that seem to have their tongues sticking out. She then splits it in half with a cleaver before saying, "Since there are very few of these and harvesting them is so troublesome, they are a very rare fruit. The sweet sent and red, dense flesh are so delicious that it can make your stomach sore! If you find one, if any, of these you are very lucky."
Tsukune takes one look at the durian and says to Moka, "I can't eat that, right? That's a monstrous fruit. Right Moka?"
But he is answered with all four of the girls drooling over the durian and Moka saying, "It looks so yummy!"
I suddenly remember that I read something about durians in that book Cerbero gave me, but as soon as I pull it out, Nekonome say, "Now now, you should be harvesting not reading Mister Oni. Now go get in a group and go harvest some fruit. You can have your book back when class is over.", and holds her hand out, waiting for me to hand over my book. I do as she asks, even though every instinct I have is telling me not to, and hand her my book, but I do wonder why exactly she is taking it, this all seems off somehow.
Suddenly Moka and Kurumu look to one another with determined filled eyes and Kurumu says, "Well then Moka, the rules for our showdown are set, aren't they?"
"Whoever finds that durian first is the winner, right?", Moka replies as a grin comes across her face.
"And the winner gets to eat the durian with Tsukune while having a romantic conversation all alone with him.", Kurumu adds as they head towards the forest.
"Count me in, too.", Mizore says as she joins in on the showdown.
"But guys, I don't want to eat that thing! Guys!", Tsukune shouts as they head off to start their contest.
I follow behind them and suggest, "If I end up winning this thing none of you get to have a moment with Tsukune and he doesn't have to eat the durian, how's that?"
"Fine, that just means a little more competition.", Kurumu replies with confidence as she grins at me.
Yukari lets off a chuckle before saying, "You do realize he has actual tracking and survival training, right? I don't think even the other Moka could win at this point."
I pat Tsukune on the head and tell him, "I got your back Tsukune, besides, that thing would probably fuck up your organs if you tried to eat it."
"Off you go!", Nekonome shouts with maximum enthusiasm as all the students head into the forest.
We walk for a few minutes and unsurprisingly we see no durians. Everyone else seem to be focused heavily on finding that durian, but I'm still trying to figure out why Nekonome took my book. Then I get a whiff of what I think might be the durian, though nobody else seems to be using anything more than their eyes to hunt. I can't seem to pinpoint the exact direction it is coming from, but it is fairly close.
Suddenly, Tsukune stops and says, "Hey, for now why don't we work together? If we combine our strength we can accomplish anything. We need to prioritize our safety above all else, right?"
Kurumu shoots down that idea instantly as she says, "No good! It's not a contest if we work together."
"Then abandon the contest!", Tsukune suggest with a frustrated look on his face. He then points towards some grapes and says, "Let's go pick some of these grapes. Those look like something I can actually eat."
Kurumu shoots that idea down too by saying, "Noooo. I want to eat the durlan with you, Tsukune."
Tsukune is further frustrated and confused by this and asks, "But why?! Why are you so interested over that vile fruit?" As he says this, I can smell the durlan's scent get even stronger, almost as if it were a few feet away. Tsukune continues on by saying, "Besides, we haven't found any yet. How are we going to find such a rare fruit in such a giant forest? This is nearly impossi-" And before he can finish I find the durian sitting on the ground nearby.
I pick it up and say, "You're right Tsukune, these things are just impossible to find in this forest. We should just give up now." The fruit is surprisingly slippery and falls out of my hands before running away."That thing can move on its own?", I ask myself, baffled by the somehow mobile fruit.
"I guess so.", Mizore quickly replies as we chase after it.
Moka catches up to it first and as she grabs it she shouts, "I got it! I got the durian!"
Kurumu is furious with this and shouts, "God damn it!"
Moka gloats a bit, holding the durian up for Kurumu to see as she says, "I guess that makes me the winner of the contest, right?" Then, almost as if it was tempted by fate, the durian's tentacles begin to extend and go under Moka's clothes. "What the? Its tentacle are going under my... No! Stop!", she shouts as the durian's tentacles touch her everywhere.
Before it's able to go up Moka's skirt, Tsukune knocks it away with a punch to one of its multiple faces. Moka falls to the ground unconscious as the durian bounces away. Yukari shoots into a panic and runs over to the now unconscious Moka, shouting, "MOKA!"
"It strangled her! I'll catch it though. Don't worry.", Kurumu says as she tries to run after the durian.
Mizore forms her ice claws and says, "Move aside, Kurumu. It's too dangerous." She then shouted, "Secret Anti-Inner Moka technique: Chaotic Hail Barrage!", before launching a volley of ice shards at Kurumu and the durian.
"That was a bit dangerous, wouldn't you say?", I sarcastically note as I look around for the durian so I can just crush it and be done with it.
Mizore finds the durian before me and says, "There you are. Finally caught you." She then picks it up with her ice claws and starts to toss it up in the air and catch it before saying, "With this, it'll be my 'Dessert time' with Tsukune."
Surprisingly, Kurumu gets back to her feet with a few ice shards stuck in her back and hits Mizore over the head with her fists while saying, "You hit me too, idiot!" This causes Mizore to drop not only the lollipop from her mouth, but also the durian which then runs away yet again.
With both Mizore and Moka knocked out cold, Kurumu and Tsukune chase after the durian while Yukari and I look after Mizore and Moka. I sit down next to Mizore and say, "So that was one of your Secret Anti-Inner Moka techniques huh? It was flashy, but I don't know if some ice shards would do anything to that Moka." I poke her shoulder to see if she'll wake up, but nothing happens. "Any luck over there Yukari?", I ask the witch as I continue trying to wake Mizore up.
"Nope. She seems to be out cold.", Yukari says with a shake of her head as she pokes at Moka's face.
"I wonder if this will work.", I ask myself as I stand up and walk in between Moka and Mizore. I clear my throat before shouting, "Wow Tsukune, didn't think you'd propose to Yukari so soon! Look at that ring!"
Suddenly they both awoke from their slumber. Mizore looks around and asks, "Where is she? I'll kill her!"
"It was a tactic to wake you two up. And surprisingly it worked.", I reply as I pull a cigarette from my pocket.
"Oh thank God. I thought Tsukune was some sort of lolicon for a second there.", Moka says as she lets out a sigh of relief.
"So he went with Kurumu to go get the durian?", Mizore asks as she puts her claws away.
"I think so. I wonder what will happen if Tsukune gets the durian first. Would he have a romantic moment with himself then?", I ask as I ponder what would happen.
"The durian! We have to go after it!", Moka exclaims as she jumps up to her feet.
"That thing just kicked your ass and you still want to go after it?", I ask surprised that she is willing to go further with this.
"I can't let Kurumu beat me!", Moka growls as she begins frantically looking around for the dangerous fruit.
"They went that way, but at this rate they probably already caught up with the durian.", I explain as I point in the direction Tsukune and Kurumu went.
"Then let's hurry. We don't want anything to happen to Tsukune while we're gone.", Mizore says as she picks herself up.
I sigh before lighting my cigarette and asking Yukari, "Hey Yukari, you know something about this durian, right? Nekonome didn't want me taking my monster encyclopedia in here for some reason and I think that's it."
She nods and says, "I wasn't sure at first, but after all that I'm certain that the durian is the carnivorous plant that she was referring to earlier."
"So the fruit is bait then. That's pretty smart for a plant.", Mizore notes while dusting the dirt off of her skirt.
"Then we better hurry. Those two idiots will get themselves killed if we don't get that durian first.", I say as we start head in the direction they ran off in a moment ago.
We finally catch up to Kurumu and Tsukune. Kurumu is holding the durian bait in her hands while looking at Tsukune and I feel a slight vibration in the ground. I rush towards Kurumu and launch her towards Tsukune while catching the bait. "What the hell Reiji!? Give it back!", Kurumu shouts as she picks herself up.
Suddenly the real durian bursts from the ground and surrounds me with its giant jaws. "I knew this was going to happen!", I shout as its mouth closes.
"Reiji!", I hear Tsukune's somewhat muffled shouting from outside this damn plant.
"Damn thing thinks it can just eat me? You guessed wrong you little shit!", I growl as I try to punch my way out, but before I can land a solid blow, its stomach starts to fill with acid. "Like some acid is going to do anything to me!", I exclaim as I transform into my S class form. With a single punch I burst through to the outside and land in front of Moka and the others, who are now covered in the durian's flesh. "Little fuck thinking I'd just let it eat me.! I'm going to burn every single piece of it to fucking ashes!", I grumble to myself in a slight rage as I turn back to the durian.
"Are you alright Reiji?", a frantic Tsukune asks me as he checks me for any injuries.
I snap at him though and shout, "I just got eaten by a fucking plant, Tsukune, and I had to punch my way out of its stomach to save you guys! Other than that I'm pretty fucking peachy!"
I raise one hand to the durian prepared to use my enhanced pyrokinesis, but Mizore says, "What about the fruit?"
I look over to her and she gives me the most puppy dog face I've ever seen her make the entire time I've known her. "Really?", I ask as I put my arm down.
I look over to Moka, Kurumu and Yukari to see that they are giving me the same look. I let out a loud groan and growl back to them, "Fine, I'll kill it the old fashioned way, but I'm not doing all the work myself."
Tsukune pulls off Moka's rosary while everyone else gets ready for battle. Together, we all attack at once causing the durian to fall to pieces and launch its bait everywhere. Yukari laughs and say, "Look at all the durian fruit!", while making snow angels with the durians on the ground.
"There must be enough for everyone in the class to have some. We should bring as much of it as we can back to Nekonome.", Kurumu suggests as we all just stand there in complete shock at how much fruit the durian exploded into.
Moka lets out a slight growl before grumbling, "I don't want any.", and putting the rosary back on.
As Moka turns back into her normal form, Mizore and Kurumu begin gathering the durian to take back to the others. Once everyone has gathered a fair amount of durian fruit we head back to Nekonome who is surprised by the amount of fruit we brought back. "Wow, how did you guys get so much of this rare fruit?", she asks innocently.
"You know exactly how we got it. I almost got eaten by a plant.", I growl at the teacher as we put durian on the table.
"Well, at least you got something out of it.", she suggests with a snicker.
I hold my hand out and say, "Now give it back."
"Oh that's right, your book. That would've ruined the whole exercise if you had that.", she explains as she hands back my book.
"So you knew that the durian would try to eat students?", Moka asks the teacher with a raised eyebrow.
Nekonome gives her a quick nod before happily answering, "Yep, this was all a survival skills exercise. These are some of the skills you'll need in the real world when your back is against the wall and you have to fight your way out."
"Never. Again.", I growl at her, causing her to shiver a bit, before lighting a cigarette and sitting by the cliff.
As the other students get back they are impressed by the amount of durian fruit we managed to bring back. The rest of the group enjoys their durian, except for Tsukune (But he's still part human so that's to be expected), while I stand off to the side smoking a cigarette while reading my encyclopedia.
I read the durian page and see that the fruit is actually not meant for humans and can cause food poisoning. I hear Tsukune shout, "This thing reeks of blood!", and I walk over to see if he'd actually be dumb enough to eat it.
Kurumu stops eating and looks around before saying, "You know, this is really something. Even though I planned to eat this alone with Tsukune it's just as delicious with everyone else. Really good." Kurumu then walks over to Tsukune with his piece of durian still on the table. She picks up his piece and tries to hand feed it to him while saying, "Here Tsukune, eat up!"
Before I can tell them that it might be a bad idea for him to eat this fruit he takes a bite and begins to vomit all over the place. "W-what's wrong with Tsukune!?", Kurumu shouts in confusion.
"You idiot, he can't eat durian! He's still part human!", I aggressively whisper so nobody other than our group will hear.
Tsukune ends up being taken off on a stretcher to the nurse's office for food poisoning. I fucking hate durian.