An- heirverse. And a warm up for my writing muscles. Short at 478 ish words. And an attempt to lure out the sea monster currently sulking in the fertiliser cupboard.
Notes- small prelude to Fisher (dropping December 1st 2019 with Weekly updates unless I get hit by a bus or something) 1st person Aizen's pov. (but By design it works for both Aizen and Gins pov because context is everything)
...
"Here I am, 12AM
Sunken deep into my bed
Kept alive by the light of the moon
Close my eyes, but my mind's got its own plan tonight
And it keeps rubbing salt in the wound."
- Set if Off [Midnight Thoughts]
Midnight Thoughts
I sigh and look at the clock again. Zero hundred hours. Midnight. I should have been asleep hours ago. We have an important assignment tomorrow in the human world, and I can't do my job if I'm sleep deprived. Not that that's stopped me before; I have managed to function for days without sleep. But my definition of 'function' might be slightly skewed. I imagine my zanpaktou might laugh at that and agree, but even they're asleep. Seems the whole world's fast asleep except for me.
I roll on the my back and stare at the ceiling. It strikes me just how quiet and lonely the world is this time of night. Shops will be closed. Doors and windows locked. People asleep. Done for the day and recharging for the next.
All except for me.
I get the feeling I could go for a walk and not come back and still the peace would remain. Well, yours wouldn't I know that. You always worry when I disappear without saying where I'm going. And I always get it in the neck when I come home again.
I'd smile if it wasn't so heartrending.
I know sleep won't come tonight. It's a bad night and I just can't seem to switch off. I make the mistake of rolling over the other way and looking at you. Sound asleep beside me.
And that's when the thoughts come. The dark creatures of the night. My own stupid brains concoctions. Creeping from the shadows of my mind to tear me down.
You don't deserve him
He doesn't love you
You're not good enough
Just leave now and stop prolonging the misery
He doesn't want you
You're a fool to believe otherwise
Just go.
Go.
On. And on. And on. And I can feel myself sinking and the ice under my feet grow that little bit thinner and I know the worst will happen. There's darkness choking my thoughts and drowning me and the ice sheet under my feet cracks. Ready to shatter-
And then you move in your sleep, mumbling something I can't hear. You sling your arm over me, wrap it around my waist like a snake, and crush me to you. My nose is pressed into your neck and our naked bodies are pressed against each other so I can feel and hear your steady heartbeat. All I can touch, hear, and smell is you.
And the rest of the world just ceases to exist. The dark thoughts crawl back into the decrepit corners they came from, and for a few lovely minutes there's just me and you.
And as I drift off to sleep I can't help but wonder if you could sense my dark thoughts.