He's sitting in a pub pretending to drink, just enjoying the sights, when he catches something out of the corner of his eye. A glimpse of something on one of the TV screens above the bar. A flash of-? But no. When he whips his head around to look more carefully, the image is gone, and the screen is just a collection of mostly-naked dancers, undulating on beds.
He watches a moment, trying to imagine whether such dancers would have excited him when he was alive, but in any event they certainly do not anymore. He gives up and is just about to look away-
When the picture changes and there she is again. A nun.
He feels his mouth fall open stupidly. His head spins. Not really a nun, he sees immediately; her lips are painted bright blood red and they match her habit, and as he watches she parts them and takes a rosary into her mouth.
A rosary. In her mouth.
It's appalling, and disgusting, and completely riveting. The image lasts only for a few seconds, and once it's gone he is bowled over by an uncontrollable and frantic need to get it back.
"Who- what is that?" he stammers, eyes still fixed on the screen, reaching out blindly with both hands to seize someone. His hands find a waitress and drag her to him. "What is that television show?" he demands, turning her by the chin. "That, her, the nun, who is she?"
Other patrons intervene, trying to pry him off, and he could swear he's being reasonable but no one understands or helps him until finally, just as he's about to lose all shreds of patience and slaughter the entire crowd, a woman near him laughs in his ear.
"That was Lady Gaga." He turns to look at her. (The show has changed now, the vision gone, or he would never, ever have looked away.) She laughs when she sees his face; he must look like the village idiot. "What," she teases, "You got a nun kink, or something?"
He rifles through the information he has been absorbing recently. Kink, he knows kink. He's glossed right over it as irrelevant to him, but he does have at least a cursory understanding of what it means. But... nun kink? He has never heard the term, but it is making his cheeks hot and his teeth ache.
He needs to know more. He digs deep and manages to turn on the charm. "I... think I might," he says to her, with his shyest and most winning smile. "What are you drinking?" He'll get her out of here, somewhere private, and start his research with whatever she's got inside her. He has a lot of questions. What is nun kink, where is Lady Gaga, and in the meantime how can he get his television to play that particular bit of the show over, and over, and over again.
TBC.
I really like the idea of Count Dracula using the bite as an alternative to googling. (I know he doesn't actually need to anymore now that he has a smartphone, but I imagine he reverts back to his old habits when gobsmacked.). We take for granted now the ability to get online and learn new information or skills in the blink of an eye, but think how that ability must have set him apart back in the day when nobody else could do it.
I may at some point write a little more for story. Don't worry, he is not going to stalk Lady Gaga. It's crack, I guess, but not that much crack. The video in question is for her song Alejandro, in case you were wondering, and the title here is from the lyrics.
Let me know what you think!