From the prompt- the doctor and Graham have been a couple for a while now however as Graham gets older he worries that he won't be there for the doctor for as long as she wants him to be.

Written before seeing any of tonight's episode which may contain themes that I have mentioned here. I don't know as I've tried to stay away from spoilers, we shall see if I'm right and have pre-empted anything.

This is my first time writing Graham/Doctor 'romance' I've only written platonic friendship/bromance with them before. Is it any good?

Graham felt like he would never lose the wonder of sitting in the open Tardis doorway looking out across the empty expanse of space. The view was nothing like from earth; instead of orange tinted grey peppered with pinpricks there was a riot of light of different colours. From the reds and oranges of stars to blue and purple swirls of nebulae. Fireworks frozen at their best.

He sat cross-legged on the floor as he drank from his mug of tea, careful not to stick a limb out of the doorway- he also couldn't shake the fear of falling out and getting lost in space even with the Doctor's repeated reassurances that the Tardis was shielded and wouldn't let that happen.

Speaking of the Doctor, it was her footsteps that he could hear as they crossed the console room, the sound of her boots characteristically different from the trainers and shoes that Ryan and Yaz preferred. And their attention was taken by a film that they had been talking about all day so he knew that they would not emerge from the cinema room for at least an hour. He had been invited to join them but declined, the film just wasn't his thing.

The Doctor collapsed at his side in a flurry of coats until she finally stilled with her legs swinging out of the Tardis doors. Graham looked at her as she admired the view, heart clenching as the stars reflected in her wide eyes.

"It's beautiful, ain't it?" She looked at him with a grin and he rustled up a smile back. She turned back to stare at the stars.

Silence settled.

Graham dropped one of his hands into the space between them. The Doctor didn't look at him but her hand crept towards his and held it. It was odd, Graham thought, that during their adventures she would grab anyone's hand, even complete strangers, but in quiet times like this he had learned that it was best to offer her a hand to take if she wanted. It was like gaining the trust of a scared animal.

He concentrated on the feeling of her cool hand in his, as he watched a swirling nebula, and wondered how many more times he would experience it.

"Graham," asked the Doctor, sounding nonchalant but watching him from the corner of her eye. "Are you ok?" He shrugged.

"Fine." She turned to him.

"You sure there's nothing on your mind. You've been awfully quiet."

Graham looked down at his cup of tea. It was nearly empty. Would it be better to use it as an excuse to escape the conversation that he didn't want to have than have it, though he knew that it would lighten the burden that had been hanging over him for days?

The Doctor seemed to sense his internal conflict and squeezed his hand.

"It's just…" He sighed, trying to articulate the indefinable feeling. "I'm not getting any younger."

The Doctor didn't say anything, just squeezed his hand again.

"As much as I love exploring the universe with you I'm not going to be able to keep up with you for much longer. I worry how…" he breaks off and gives a little, self-deprecating laugh. "This sounds so arrogant of me, but I worry how you will cope without me."

"Graham," the Doctor breathed.

"Hear me out." He smiled sadly at the stars. "One of these days I'm not going to be fast enough and I'll be left behind. I had been thinking about going back to Earth and staying there but I don't think I can leave this life behind. I'm not sure I can go back to the life I had before you, not without Grace and not without you. And I wouldn't let you tether yourself to me for the rest of my days if I did. You've got the rest of the universe to show Ryan and Yaz." He paused to take a sip of cooling tea. "I know you don't tell me everything about your past but you don't tell Ryan and Yaz anything. I don't know why, they aren't going to look at you any differently. But I wish you would tell them something, you shouldn't bottle things up."

"They won't understand," said the Doctor after a few moments of quiet. "They just haven't lived long enough. Not that you've lived as long as I have but talking to you is just…" Her free hand waved through the air. "You've loved and lost and loved again like I have. Lived past the average for your species. You understand in some small way."

"But what will happen to you when I'm not here anymore? You'll have lost again. When you finally got us back to earth the first time after those fourteen or so attempts, just before Yaz invited you to her place and that mess with the spiders, you looked so sad. I don't want you feeling like that again. I can't bear the thought of you being alone."

The Doctor shifted across so their shoulders pressed against each other and she drew their entwined hands onto her lap. She stared at their hands before speaking.

"I've loved and lost far more than you know. I know what I've got myself into. I'll survive, I've always survived." She looked away but Graham caught a glimpse of wetness in her eyes. "It's the only thing I'm good at," she added, words barely audible.

"Well," said Graham, "I don't plan on dying quite yet." The Doctor gave a quick laugh.

"I should hope not. There's so much wonder out there I still haven't shown you."

She leant over and pecked a kiss to his cheek. He had never been good with physical displays of affection, even with Grace. He had tried to be more physical with her, wanted to be more physical, but it just wasn't his thing. His relationship with the Doctor was different, no less intense but calmer, more subtle. He didn't feel the need to show physical affection, especially not in front of his grandson and Yaz, who had come to feel like a granddaughter. The Doctor respected his boundaries in their relationship as he did hers.

A light came into the Doctor's eyes.

"Tell you what, there's one place I've been meaning to take you for a while. I'll take you there right now." She hopped up, dragging Graham up by the hand. Cold tea sloshed over his hand as she reached around him to close the Tardis doors.

"Whoa, slow down Doc!" He was happy to see her happy again but this sudden mood change was a little hard to get his head around, especially given their conversation topic.

She bounced over to the controls and beamed at him over the console.

"Wadda ya say, Graham?" Her hands danced over switches and dials then paused on the big lever. "Live in the moment?"

He thought over their last conversation and nodded.

She slammed the lever down.