Additional story text added March 2020 to bring the installment in line with the rest of the series...

...

Luke hadn't planned on watching for long. But, as he glanced over at the television on a trip through the living room, he decided to quickly check out the news. He would have to return to work in a few days; he thought it would probably be a good idea to get with the program so to speak. A city could have exploded while he'd been in LA and he wouldn't have known about it! He chuckled to himself at the thought.

The attractive news reader was reporting on a car bomb in Kabul, but from the moment his eyes hit the screen, it was the small electronic date that drew his attention.

"Reid," he whispered before sitting down, weighty with shock; his legs wobbly and giving way under him.

While still pointing the remote at the television, his other hand went up to cover his mouth. He quickly turned the set off, trying to reverse what he had seen, while knowing it was too late.

"I'm so sorry…"

...

The apartment was dark when Noah opened the door but, before he could wonder at it, a strong burning smell sent him running for the kitchen. He quickly opened the oven door; jumped back as a hot, black smoke cloud emerged from within.

"Shit!"

Quickly, he flipped the switch off, grabbed a kitchen towel to pull the casserole dish out; dropped the red hot object into the sink. He turned on the cold tap and sighed in relief as the whole thing steamed and sizzled.

"Luke?" he coughed; opened the kitchen window.

No reply. What on earth?

...

Luke had no idea how long he'd been staring at the blank screen of the television, but during that time the room gradually darkened, the only light coming from the streetlamps outside the window. Traffic activity increased too, heralding the start of rush hour.

He sat on the sofa, frozen in the same spot. He was sure if he moved at all, he would shatter into a million tiny pieces. He still couldn't believe he'd forgotten! Guilt choked him. He'd been so ecstatically happy with Noah, so focused on him over the past few weeks, that time and the outside world in general basically ceased to exist.

Every muscle in his body was straining as he held himself back from an emotional onslaught he didn't want to feel. His eyes were still locked on the screen, on the spot where that date appeared. He was just beginning to think there was no escape, when he felt warmth rub up each of his thighs. It felt good… comforting… It allowed him to do two things he hadn't been able too since he sat down; take a deep breath and swallow hard.

He felt his breathing start to improve and looked down at his lap. Two strong arms moved two strong hands slowly, back and forth, up and down his thighs. He watched, hypnotized, for a moment; lifted his heavy head to find himself swimming in concerned blue eyes, made darker by the unlit room. They were filled with so much love.

He wasn't sure how long Noah had been kneeling down in front of him, but once eye contact was established Luke could no longer hold back the tears. Noah carefully leaned forward, making sure Luke was ready; placing his arms under Luke's and drawing him into a warm embrace that felt like sunshine. A loud sound of anguish escaped Luke's lips before he could stop it; he collapsed into Noah, his body rocking with sobs.

At some point, Noah joined him on the sofa; held him close, rubbing the top of his head and the small of his back. Periodically, Luke would feel a soft kiss on the top of his head. Each gesture, each movement from the other man, calmed him a little more. He felt himself coming back from the dark place he'd temporarily hidden away in.

When he could talk, he whispered softly, "Reid died today."

Noah stiffened for only a moment. Without saying anything, he stood up; pulling Luke with him. Never breaking contact, he guided Luke to the bedroom; gently helped him remove his jeans so that he stood in his shirt and shorts. Noah kept his eyes firmly fixed on Luke's while quickly removing his own outer clothing. He took hold of both Luke's hands; guided him into the bed. By this point, Luke stopped thinking, just went with it. He placed his head on Noah's chest, bunching up some of Noah's vest in his fist for comfort; like a child with a favorite blanket. He hooked his right leg between Noah's; they linked tightly together; fitting. Noah's hands rested on his back; heat soothing sore muscle. It felt like heaven.

They lay like that for a while, just soaking in the feel and senses produced from being so close. As he relaxed, Luke released his grip on Noah's vest; unconsciously smoothing out the creases left behind; becoming more and more conscious of the shape of the firm chest underneath; of the warmth from Noah's body on his cheek. He allowed his hand to explore slightly lower; rubbed his fingers up Noah's side, feeling the small bumps of his ribs. Almost subconsciously he moved in closer, rubbing his hips slightly up and down; aware of what he was doing. He heard the expected quickening of Noah's breath; becoming deeper. He stared upward to find the blue eyes watching him intently; asking a question. He searched their depths, looking for any hint of hesitation. Finding none, he stretched his neck up to kiss the waiting lips.

Luke remembered the last time he made love to Noah like it was yesterday. And since then, he'd felt moments of desire with other men. He'd wanted Reid. He was sure of that. And he'd felt sexual need since then too. But just the physical kind; fed it even. He'd buried the emotional; cut it off from the act itself. Simply allowed satisfaction of the primal need; nothing more.

Laying with Noah like this; puzzled together with that perfect transference of heat; felt like coming home. All the synapses and pressure points in his body; dead for months; came alive with electricity; fired up in readiness and expectation. Like that moment when you first flipped on the switch in your house after being away for a long time; everything exactly as it was the day you left it. Some strange and unknown force seemed to take hold of him. A demon took him over. Suddenly he couldn't control himself. He rolled almost violently on top of Noah; pressed his mouth down hard, pushing Noah's head deeply into the pillow. He forced his tongue into Noah's mouth; sucked and explored every part of it. Guttural moans escaped his lips as pure desire and lust took hold. He grabbed both of Noah's wrists; forced them down into the bed, straddling Noah; right where he wanted him. He didn't want to stop the kiss, but he needed air, so he rose up, tossing hair back out of his eyes. Grunts escaped this throat like some crazed animal.

After less than a second he was ready to dive in for more; stopped immediately when he heard the loud gasps for air. Noah's chest heaved heavily up and down as he recovered from the assault; for the first time Luke realized Noah was speaking. "Luke? Luke?"

Luke felt his eyes widen; he opened his mouth in horror. He released Noah's wrists; brought his own hands up in front of his face, staring at them as though they belonged to someone else. Gently, he placed a hand on each of Noah's cheeks, before uttering, "Oh, my god, baby! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I don't know… I just… I wasn't thinking!"

Noah reached up; lightly placed his hands on Luke's face, mirroring Luke's previous action. "It's okay. I just needed air. Come here... It's okay."

And to Luke's surprise and relief Noah pulled him in; held him tight. Luke felt his entire body shiver as the rush of adrenaline left him. He sighed into Noah's neck.

"I just need you." Luke tried to explain. "I really need you. I mean... everything..."

"Okay."

He lifted his head to look at Noah. "Please don't think I'm using you… I love you. It's just… it's just… I really want you right now. And not just sexually. I want to feel us again. Will you make love to me, Noah?"

He was afraid the answer would be 'no' after what he had done; after the weeks of avoiding this. But Noah simply leaned in and gave him the most incredibly gentle kiss he had ever had. Smooth and soft; tongue curling around his; it was a kiss wrapped in love, understanding and reassurance and it was exactly what he needed. No more words were spoken. They didn't need any. They acted on an instinct all their own; a language of sighs and cries; a communication through contact; a moment steeped in a history and a silence only they could understand.

He was blown away by the way Noah made him feel. Every part of his body fitted every angle of Noah's perfectly. It was both so very familiar and yet it was different. There was a new level of understanding between them; a maturity; a feeling like together they could conquer anything… There was a certainty they would last forever. He no longer had that overwhelming need to possess Noah; to own him. He trusted in this new kind of love they'd found together. He trusted that Noah's love for him was as great as his love for Noah and he felt at peace.

Entwined naked together, they took turns to study every part of each other... hands and mouths feeling and tasting; reacquainting. They couldn't wait long; the sensations strong. Luke breathed into Noah's ear, a soundless signal that translated into, "Take me…"

As Noah entered him, Luke was sure that he was experiencing the kind of intensity praised and written about in all the novels and poems he had ever read. Every sense he had exploded like fireworks as they rolled and crashed together, heaving in breath and sweat and tears.

...

The love they shared permeated the room; clothed them like a blanket; cocooning them in a safety net. They knew they could say anything to each other.

Face to face, each with a head on a pillow, Noah softly curled Luke's hair around his left index finger. "Do you want to talk about him?"

Luke searched Noah's expressions for any signs of hurt and, only after reassuring himself there was none, replied, "I forgot. I can't believe I forgot! I feel terrible! I feel so guilty, like I've betrayed him in some way."

"Are you sorry we…"

"Oh no!" Luke interrupted with conviction. "Oh, god no, Noah! I love you and I needed you and you were here for me. It was perfect! It was the way it should be and I know Reid would understand."

"Yes, I think so too." Noah simply said.

"We belong together. We always did. I know that for sure now. But I fell for Reid, you know? Unexpectedly! And I wanted to see where the relationship would take us… I wanted to see what would happen if I let things go on… Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"So now it's like… I don't know… It's just that I don't want him to think he didn't matter… That I forgot, because he didn't matter…"

"I'm sure he wouldn't think that. He would want you to be happy."

Luke nodded. "I can hear what he would say right now…"

"What's that?"

"Grow up, Mr Snyder! I'm dead! Get over it!"

Noah chuckled and nodded.

They lay quietly for a while, staring at each other. Noah could still see a tinge of pain in the back of Luke's brown eyes so he said, "You know… our last consultation together? Well… let's just say it was more than a little awkward and pretty strained..."

"Yeah, I bet..."

They both smiled.

"Yes!" Another pause and then, "He said some things about us… mostly about how I'd been treating you and… I was way too angry at him to admit this at the time but… I think I realized in that moment that he loved you."

Luke smiled. "I think he's happy for us."

Noah pulled Luke tight; like he would never let him go. "Same here."