Ablaze

by awalkerlifeforme

Aspen Antaeus has escaped the Hunger Games twice. She has become the face of the rebellion against the Capitol. But there is one thing stopping her from assuming her role as the Mockingjay. Her husband, Cato Hadley, was left in the arena to die. But when Aspen is given proof that he lives on, she joins the fight. And she will not stop. Not until every inch of the Capitol is ablaze.

5. Chapter 5

The stink of unwashed bodies, stale urine, and infection broke through the cloud of antiseptic. For a moment I recoiled. The last time that I had smelled something like that, it had been after the first Games. The three figures were only just recognizable by their most striking fashion choices: Venia's gold facial tattoos. Flavius's orange corkscrew curls. Octavia's light evergreen skin, which now hung too loosely, as if her body were a slowly deflating balloon. Dehydration, I realized. Just like during my first Games.

It was easy enough to recognize the signs when I had become so familiar with them myself. But that wasn't my concern right now. My concern was just how horrified I was. I had never seen someone treated like this. At least, not in Thirteen. In the Capitol it happened, but it was hidden away. It happened in District 12, but only after Thread had taken over. My stomach lurched painfully at the sight of my stupid little pets. My ever-affectionate Prep Team. The people who had always adored me.

They had annoyed me a number of times over the past year, but they had never been genuinely cruel to me. And they were so stupid. How could someone have done something like that to such simpleminded creatures? On seeing me, Flavius and Octavia shrank back against the tiled walls like they were anticipating an attack, even though I had never hurt them. Unkind thoughts were my worst offense against them, and those I kept to myself, so why did they recoil? I would never have hurt them.

With a quick motion to Katniss, she went to helping them. Making sure that they were okay. They could barely look at her. The guard was ordering the two of us out, but by the shuffling that followed, I knew that Gale had somehow detained him. As always, he was helping me without question. For answers, I crossed to Venia, who was always the strongest. I crouched down and took her icy hands, which clutched onto mine like vises. I gently ran my thumb over her bruised knuckles.

"What happened, Venia? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"They took us. From the Capitol," she said hoarsely.

"They?" I asked.

"Aspen -" Venia sobbed.

Anything else that she was going to say died in her throat. "It's okay. It's going to be okay. I'll help you. All of you. You're going to be fine," I whispered, pushing back her hair.

"We just..." Venia tried.

She was still sobbing. Katniss was trying to calm down Flavius and Octavia in the meantime. "It's okay. We'll get you out of here and then you can explain, okay?" I said.

Plutarch entered behind me. "What on earth is going on?" he asked.

Like you don't know. "Who took you?" I pressed Venia.

"People," Venia said vaguely. "The night you broke out."

"People? Plutarch?" I asked.

"No," Venia said.

"Do you know who?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Venia said.

She was still crying. She needed to get out of here and get some real food in her. They all looked bone thin. "Okay. Don't worry about anything. I'm going to get you out of here. I promise," I whispered.

"We thought it might be comforting for you to have your regular team," Plutarch said from behind me.

Immediately I released my grip on Venia and whirled around on Plutarch. "This is supposed to be comforting? This is worse than something that the Capitol could do!" I shouted loudly, my voice echoing around the room.

"We weren't aware of this," Plutarch said, maybe in a manner that he thought was comforting.

"You're torturing them," I hissed.

"Well they are here," Plutarch said awkwardly.

"This is worse than being there!" I shouted, waving to the Prep Team.

"Cinna requested it," Plutarch explained.

"Cinna requested this?" I snarled.

Absolutely not. He would have never done something like that. Cinna was a kind soul, no matter what was happening. And I knew that he felt the exact same way about the Prep Team that I did. Exasperated with their constant chatter and love of the Games, but still held some fondness for them and their love of us. If there was one thing that I knew, it was that Cinna would never have approved the abuse of these three, who he had always somehow managed with gentleness and patience. Even when I hadn't.

"Why are they being treated like criminals?" I asked sharply.

"I honestly don't know," Plutarch said.

There had to be someone who would know. That was when it dawned on me. Seneca had said that there was something that he wanted to talk to me about. Was there a chance that he had been referring to this? The awful treatment of my Prep Team. Plutarch seemed genuinely confused about their treatment and no one else had said anything about them. So maybe that was what he was trying to say yesterday.

"What the hell is this?" I barked at the guard. He shook his head. "I need to speak with Seneca Crane. Now!"

Gale finally entered the room. "Aspen, are you -?"

"Now," I cut him off, unsure of whether I was speaking to Plutarch or the guard. "He'll know what's going on."

"When you have time. Not right now. We're going to get this sorted," Plutarch said determinedly.

Whipping back around to him, I gave him a scrutinizing glare. Was there a chance that he really did know what was going on? For a while I just stared at him. But I realized that there was something in his voice that genuinely made me believe him, and the pallor on Fulvia's face confirmed it. He actually wasn't lying to me. He had no idea what was going on with the Prep Team. Plutarch turned to the guard, who had just appeared again in the doorway with Gale right behind him.

"I was only told they were being confined. Why are they being punished?" Plutarch asked.

"For stealing food. We had to restrain them after an altercation over some bread," the guard said.

"All of this for a damned piece of bread?" I snarled, remembering the time that I took a whipping for the younger girl.

"Stealing is punishable by -" Plutarch started.

"This is ridiculous!" I shouted, interrupting him. I turned around and faced Fulvia and Plutarch. "For people who claim to be so much better than the Capitol."

Venia's brows came together as if she was still trying to make sense of it. She was the only one who could manage herself right now. "No one would tell us anything. We were so hungry. It was just one slice she took," Venia said.

Octavia began to sob, muffling the sound in her ragged tunic. My stomach roiled in pain at the thought of my pathetic little Prep Team being hurt this badly after being 'rescued' for me. I thought of how, the first time that I survived the arena, Octavia sneaked me a roll under the table because she couldn't bear my hunger. It happened right after they were remaking me when I was starving and they wouldn't feed me until after the Closing Ceremony. I crawled across to her shaking form.

"It's okay, Octavia. You'll be okay," I whispered.

"Just stay calm. We're going to get them out of here," Plutarch advised me.

"Octavia?" I asked. She was whimpering and not speaking to me. I touched her and she flinched. "Octavia? It's going to be all right. I'll get you out of here, okay?"

"This seems extreme," Plutarch said.

"It's because they took a slice of bread?" Gale asked.

"There were repeated infractions leading up to that. They were warned. Still they took more bread." The guard paused a moment, as if puzzled by our density. "You can't take bread."

Irritably I took a step forward and motioned to the three chained up Capitol citizens. "This is a type of punishment for murder, not for stealing a slice of bread for people who aren't used to having so little to eat. Would a nice talking-to have been too little?" I asked harshly.

"It's against the rules," the guard argued.

"That doesn't make it okay," I hissed, looking back at the Prep Team. "Octavia... Please, look at me."

No matter how hard I tried, it was clear that Octavia was far too afraid to move. Which would definitely be a problem. More than once I tried to pry her hands away from her face, but I didn't want to scare or hurt her even more than she already had been. I couldn't get Octavia to uncover her face no matter what I did, but she eventually lifted it slightly. The shackles on her wrists shifted down a few inches, revealing raw sores beneath them.

"You're going to be okay," I whispered to them.

"Can you fix this?" Venia whimpered.

"No. But I know someone who can," I said determinedly.

"Mom?" Katniss asked.

"Yes. I'm bringing you to my mother." I wasn't really sure who I was talking to, but they needed to know that I wasn't going to leave them in here. Then I addressed the guard. "Unchain them," I growled.

The guard shook his head. "It's not authorized," he said.

"Unchain them! Now!" I yelled.

Obviously my words surprised him. Not just him. It surprised all of the people in the room. Katniss and Gale had never heard me use my authoritative voice, considering that I didn't use it that often. Fulvia and Plutarch were used to the depressed and practically catatonic version of me. The Prep Team flinched slightly. They were used to me trying to butter them up. It definitely broke the composure of the guard. Average citizens didn't address him this way. But I wasn't average.

"I have no release orders," the guard started. "And you have no authority to -"

"Mockingjay," I muttered to Plutarch.

"Do it on my authority. We came to collect these three anyway. They're needed for Special Defense. I'll take full responsibility," Plutarch explained.

"Thanks," I whispered.

The guard left the cell to make the call. He returned a moment later with a set of keys. The prep team had been forced into cramped body positions for so long that even once the shackles were removed, they had trouble walking. Gale, Plutarch, Katniss and I had to help them. Flavius's foot caught on a metal grate over a circular opening in the floor, and my stomach contracted when I thought of why a room would need a drain. The stains of human misery that must have been hosed off these white tiles.

"You'll be okay. I promise. It's going to be fine," I whispered to them.

They hadn't even done monstrous things like that to me back in the Capitol. They had done everything that they had in the Games, but nothing like this. The eight of us slowly made our way out of the room and back into the hallways. I was well aware that there were a number of people watching us as we walked, curious as to what had happened. But we didn't stop to chat just like they didn't stop to offer their help. Something that did actually surprise me. I would have thought that someone would offer.

Maybe it was because they recognized that the people Katniss, Gale, Plutarch, and I were carrying were from the Capitol. Maybe they couldn't be bothered to care because they didn't care about the people who they blamed for trapping them down here. Or maybe there was the awful chance that they were just as cruel as the people back in the Capitol were. Because none of them - not here or in the Capitol - could really be brought to care about the others.

As we continued walking through the halls, desperate to get back to the hospital and get Ms. Everdeen to help us with the Prep Team, I noticed that a number of people had stopped what they were doing to watch us curiously. But you couldn't offer us a damn hand, could you? That was when I spotted Cato's family rushing forward to see what had happened. They looked terrified at the sight of the Prep Team as they pushed through the crowd.

"Oh... That's your Prep Team, isn't it?" Alana asked.

"Yes," I said.

"What's happened?" Alana asked.

"They were chained up for stealing a piece of bread. They were brought here from the Capitol after the Games," I explained as simply as possible, continuing to walk.

"Are they okay?" Damien asked, looking at the three.

"I think so but I'm no doctor," I said.

"Come on. Let's get them help," Julie said, taking some of Flavius's weight from Plutarch.

"Where are you going?" Dean called.

"The hospital. My mother will know what to do," I shouted back.

"Okay. We'll help," Carrie said, pushing open the doors ahead of us.

"Aidan, take Marley back to the compartment. Okay?" Alana asked her son.

"Okay. Hope they're alright," Aidan told me.

"Thanks," I said.

The moment that he was off with his niece, our large group continued moving through the hallways. We were rushing past and practically trampling the people who were in our way. But I was desperate to get the Prep Team some help. I knew that they were in no danger of dying - they weren't that badly injured, more exhausted and hungry - but that didn't mean that I didn't want to help them. They weren't used to any type of pain, more than plucking their eyebrows.

Once we finally arrived in the hospital, I immediately found Ms. Everdeen, the only person who I trusted to care for them. It took her a minute to place the three, given their current condition, but already she wore a look of consternation. And I knew that it wasn't just a result of seeing abused bodies, because they were her daily fare in District 12, but the realization that this sort of thing went on in Thirteen as well.

Ms. Everdeen was welcomed into the hospital upon arrival, but she was viewed as more of a nurse than a doctor, despite her lifetime of healing. Mostly because she had no professional training. Still, no one interfered when she guided the trio into an examination room to assess their injuries. I planted myself on a bench in the hall outside the hospital entrance, waiting to hear her verdict. She would be able to read in their bodies the pain inflicted upon them.

Gale sat next to me and put an arm around my shoulder. "She'll fix them up," he consoled.

"I know. They're just not used to treatment like that," I muttered.

"They're going to be okay," Katniss said, placing a hand on my knee. "They just need some time."

Unable to bring myself to speak again, I gave a nod, wondering if he was thinking about his own brutal flogging back in District 12. Or maybe even mine. The two of us knew exactly what it felt like. We knew what it was like to be so brutally treated by the people whom you might have once called family. At least Thread hated everyone. I had been shocked when old Cray had hit me. Although that shouldn't have surprised me. I had stepped in for someone else, after all. I had forced his hand.

Cato's family took spots on either side of Katniss and Gale, who were placed at my sides. Skye and Julie sat down on the floor in front of us. It was the most people that I had seen in the hospital at once. Plutarch and Fulvia took the bench across from us but didn't offer any comments on the state of my Prep Team. If they had no knowledge of the mistreatment, then what did they make of this move on President Coin's part? I decided to help them out.

"I guess we've all been put on notice," I said.

"What? No. What do you mean?" Fulvia asked.

"Punishing my Prep Team is a warning. Not just to me. But to you, too. About who's really in control and what happens if she's not obeyed. If you had any delusions about having power, I'd let them go now. Apparently, a Capitol pedigree is no protection here. Maybe it's even a liability," I told them.

"There is no comparison between Plutarch, who masterminded the rebel breakout, and those three beauticians," Fulvia said icily, shooting me a spiteful look.

Carelessly I shrugged. "If you say so, Fulvia. But what would happen if you got on Coin's bad side? My Prep Team was kidnapped. They can at least hope to one day return to the Capitol. Gale, Katniss, and I can live in the woods. But you? Where would you two run?" I asked irritably.

"Perhaps we're a little more necessary to the war effort than you give us credit for," Plutarch said, unconcerned.

"Of course you are. The Tributes were necessary to the Games, too. Until they weren't. And then we were very disposable - right, Plutarch?" I asked.

That ended the conversation. Everyone simply sat in silence as we waited for news of what had happened to the Prep Team. My gaze stayed firmly locked on the ground. There was nothing that I wanted to deal with right now and no one that I wanted to listen to. I just had to make sure that they were okay. The people whom I had hated so much when I had first arrived at the Capitol were now under my protection. They were family, in their own strange way. A while later Ms. Everdeen found us.

"They'll be all right. No permanent physical injuries," she reported.

"Good. Splendid. How soon can they be put to work?" Plutarch asked.

"Put to work?" I repeated.

"Taking care of you," Plutarch explained.

"Pleasant," I growled.

"Probably tomorrow. You'll have to expect some emotional instability, after what they've been through. They were particularly ill prepared, coming from their life in the Capitol," Ms. Everdeen explained.

"Weren't we all?" Plutarch said.

"I don't recall seeing you chained up in one of the back rooms," I growled.

"That doesn't mean that I'm any more prepared to be here," Plutarch defended.

"Funny. I was about to say the same thing," I snapped back.

"Alright, enough," Katniss said, stepping between us.

Either because the Prep Team were incapacitated or I was too on edge, Plutarch released me from Mockingjay duties for the rest of the day. Gale, Katniss, the Hadley's, and I headed down to lunch, where we were served bean and onion stew, a thick slice of bread, and a cup of water. After Venia's story, the bread stuck in my throat, so I slid the rest of it onto Gale's tray. None of us spoke much during lunch, but when our bowls were clean, Gale pulled up his sleeve, revealing his schedule.

"I've got training next," Gale said.

When was the last time that I even checked my schedule? A long damn time. I tugged up my sleeve and held my arm next to his. "Me, too," I said.

That was when I remembered that training equaled hunting now. Katniss rolled up her sleeve and held it next to ours. "Me, three," she agreed.

"Let's go!" I chirped.

My eagerness to escape into the woods, if only for two hours, overrode my current concerns. An immersion into greenery and sunlight would surely help me sort out my thoughts. Of which there were a number. Once off the main corridors, Gale, Katniss, and I raced like schoolchildren for the armory. The last time that I had ran like this... for fun... I couldn't even remember. It was freeing. By the time we arrived, I was breathless and dizzy. A reminder that I wasn't fully recovered from the electrical blast.

The guards provided our old weapons, as well as knives and a burlap sack that was meant for a game bag. I tolerated having the tracker clamped to my ankle (which was bulky and heavy), tried to look as if I was listening when they explained how to use the handheld communicator. The only thing that stuck in my head was that it had a clock, and we must be back inside Thirteen by the designated hour or our hunting privileges would be revoked. That was one rule I thought that I would make an effort to abide.

"I'm going to come back out next hour," I said as we prepared to leave.

"Why?" Gale asked.

"Because I want to take Dean out and show him around," I said.

"And what about us?" Gale snapped.

"We're getting our own hour," Katniss interrupted, clearly trying to diffuse a fight before it could start. "Wait a second. What do you have after this?"

"I don't know. I'm not so good with watching my timing," I admitted.

"You really sure that you want to come out there with him?" Gale asked.

"Yes. I'm absolutely sure. I want to go out," I said.

"I'm pretty sure that she can have an arrow through his eyes in a heartbeat if he does anything to her," Katniss pointed out.

"Alright. Just be careful," Gale warned.

"Always am," I said, which wasn't at all true.

In reality, I was just about anything but careful. Katniss stepped forward and placed herself in between us. "It's fine. We'll come out again tomorrow and stay out for the full hour. Just the three of us. Right?" Katniss asked us both, obviously daring us to give her a different answer.

"Right," I agreed. Before we turned to leave, I moved back to one of the guards. "Excuse me? Can you send a message to Dean Hadley? Tell him to come here in an hour. We're going hunting."

"Of course," the guard said.

"Thank you," I called.

"Whose bow is he going to borrow?" Gale asked.

There came the major issue. "Well..." I trailed off, giving Gale a hopeful look.

He scowled at me. "Come on, Gale. Let him borrow it," Katniss goaded.

"What about yours?" Gale snapped at her.

Katniss rolled her eyes and motioned down to her wooden bow. "Mine is designed for someone my size." Katniss was bigger than me, but Dean was much bigger than her. "It won't work for someone Dean's size. Who is just about your size," she argued.

"Please, Gale? Come on. I won't let him hurt it," I said sweetly.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever," Gale growled.

"Thank you," I chirped.

He didn't look thrilled with letting Dean use his bow, but he didn't argue the subject any further. Without another word the three of us went outside into the large, fenced-in training area beside the woods. Guards opened the well-oiled gates without comment. We would have been hard-pressed to get past the fence on our own - thirty feet high and always buzzing with electricity, topped with razor-sharp curls of steel. We moved through the woods until the view of the fence had been obscured.

It was exhilarating to be back in the woods. A place that had originally been my solace, then been a place of nightmares, and was now once more my escape. It was strange how much my view on something as simple as the woods had changed in just a year. In a small clearing, we paused and dropped back our heads to bask in the sunlight. I turned in a circle slowly with Katniss next to me, our arms extended at our sides, revolving slowly so as not to set the world spinning.

Being out in the woods had never been so peaceful. So wonderful. Even with the damage that I saw here. The lack of rain I saw in Twelve had damaged the plants here as well, leaving some with brittle leaves, building a crunchy carpet under our feet. We took off our shoes to keep them from crunching. Mine didn't fit right anyway, since in the spirit of waste-not-want-not that rules Thirteen, I was issued a pair someone had outgrown. Apparently, one of us walks funny, because they were broken in all wrong.

We hunted, like in the old days. Silent, needing no words to communicate, because here in the woods we moved as three parts of one being. Anticipating each other's movements, watching each other's backs. How long had it been? Eight months? Nine? Since we had this freedom? It wasn't exactly the same, given all that had happened and the trackers on our ankles and the fact that I had to rest so often after that nasty electrocution. But it was about as close to happiness as I figured that I could currently get.

At least until Cato arrived. For now it wasn't half-bad. Hunting kept my mind off of what had happened with him. The animals here were not nearly suspicious enough. That extra moment it took to place our unfamiliar scent meant their death. It would be easy to train Dean in these woods. In an hour and a half, we had gotten a mixed dozen - rabbits, squirrels, and turkeys - and decided to spend the remaining time by a pond that must have been fed by an underground spring, since the water was cool and sweet.

When Gale offered to clean the game, I didn't object. It had never been my favorite part. Since we were no longer hunting, the three of us exchanged idle chitchat as we laid about. I stuck a few mint leaves on my tongue, closed my eyes, and leaned back against a rock, soaking in the sounds, letting the scorching afternoon sun burn my skin, almost at peace. Almost... If only Cato was here. Just like that day up on the roof. The peace only lasted until Gale's voice interrupted me.

"Aspen, why do you care so much about your Prep Team?" Gale asked.

"It was nice while it lasted," Katniss sighed.

The two of us were both leaning up against the rocks and basking in the sunlight. For a moment I wished that we were in the warmer air of the Capitol. Just for a moment, though. Deciding that I couldn't avoid his comment forever, I opened my eyes to see if he was joking. But it was Gale and I should have known that he was being completely serious. I knew because he was frowning down at the rabbit he was skinning.

"Why shouldn't I?" I asked.

"Hm. Let's see. Because they've spent the last year prettying you up for slaughter?" Gale suggested.

"They're really not that bad. They've been nice to me before and they really like Prim," Katniss defended.

Like me, she wasn't going to stand for someone as pathetic and clueless as the Prep Team to be hurt. "After they offered her up for slaughter?" Gale asked.

"They don't get it, Gale," I said, knowing that Prim's Reaping was still sensitive with Katniss.

"If I don't have a problem with them, you really shouldn't either," Katniss argued.

It was a good point. If there was anyone here who deserved to hate the Capitol just as much as I did, it was Katniss, whose sister had been the start to all of this. Not that I ever faulted Prim for it. She hadn't made me do everything that I had done in the Capitol. That had been my own fault. But, to be fair, it was her name being pulled that sent me into the Games in the first place.

"I remember them in the Capitol. They were so excited for the wedding. They didn't even think that you were going into the Games in two days," Gale argued.

"We're not the same kind of people. It's different for them," I said.

"You're defending them," Gale said disbelievingly.

"It's more complicated than that. I know them. They're not evil or cruel. They're not even smart. Hurting them, it's like hurting children. They don't see... I mean, they don't know..." I tried.

As usual, I got knotted up in my words. Words had never been my forte. As much as I tried to speak and make myself sound eloquent and not like I was the twenty-year-old fool that I was, it never worked. I always sounded like a teenager trying to be an adult. Something that I very clearly wasn't. Gale was scowling at me. Obviously he didn't like that I was defending them. Katniss seemed to understand my point.

"They don't know what, Aspen? That Tributes - who are the actual children involved here, not your trio of freaks - are forced to fight to the death?" Gale asked.

"Knock it off. They know about the kids," I snapped.

"Obviously they don't," Gale said. "Did they even care about R -"

Gale immediately stopped speaking. His voice dropped off so quickly that I would have found it comical had it been any other day. Had it been anything else that he was about to say. But I knew exactly what he was going to say. It was too late to take it back. I saw the guilt building in Gale's eyes. He could be a little on the cruel side at times but even Gale knew that, after all of this time, it still wasn't fair to drag Rue into an argument. But my eyes watered anyways, even though I knew that he hadn't meant it.

"They didn't know her. They didn't know about her," I said, my voice cracking.

"But they knew that the Games were about to happen," Gale said, his voice not as stern now.

"It's just like being in District 2. Everything depends on the place that you grew up. If you were from the Capitol you would have been raised on the Games," Katniss argued.

"Well I wasn't," Gale said.

"Well they are," I snapped.

"Cinna didn't like them," Gale reasoned.

"His parents were from the Districts," I said.

Both of their heads snapped over to me. "They were?" Katniss asked, surprised.

Had I never told them that story? I supposed that I hadn't. "Yeah. District 8. Textile workers. The Capitol brought them when they were twenty-one. They raised Cinna to know the truth about what happened in the Districts," I explained.

They were silent for a little while before Gale started to shake his head. "Doesn't make a difference. They should know the difference between right and wrong," Gale snapped.

"They don't. It's just the way that it is. They don't understand," I said.

"That you were going into that arena for people's amusement? Was that a big secret in the Capitol?" Gale asked.

"No. But they don't view it the way we do," I said. "They're raised on it and -"

"Are you actually defending them?" Gale interrupted.

The irritation was clear in both Gale's voice and actions. He slipped the skin from the rabbit in one quick move. It was the fastest that I had ever seen him move. He hated the Capitol more than anything. He couldn't stop for one second to think that they weren't all the monsters that everyone in District 13 thought that they were. They didn't understand that there were some good ones. But that was when I realized that it stung, because, in fact, I was, and it was ridiculous. I struggled to find a logical position.

"I guess I'm defending anyone who's treated like that for taking a slice of bread. Maybe it reminds me too much of what happened to you over a turkey! Or me, for that girl," I barked loudly.

If there were any animals around in the area, I had definitely just scared them off. Katniss was watching the two of us closely. She had always been there to diffuse our fights after my first go-round in the arena. She used to get involved in them, but now she tried to keep us from imploding on ourselves. As I thought back to our injuries, I realized that I hadn't seen that girl since I had arrived in District 13. She was likely killed in the bombing. I saved her and then I killed her.

As angry as I was with Gale about everything, I had to realize something. He was right. It did seem strange, my level of concern over the Prep Team. The people who had always driven me insane during my brief periods of time in the Capitol. I should have hated them and wanted to see them strung up. But they were so clueless about everything, and I genuinely believed that they did care about me, and they belonged to Cinna, and he was on my side, right?

"I'm not looking for a fight. But I don't think Coin was sending you some big message by punishing them for breaking the rules here. She probably thought you'd see it as a favor," Gale said.

"I somehow doubt that. She hates me," I said.

"True. But she still probably thought that she was helping you," Gale said, shrugging.

"Oh, yes. That was very helpful," I snapped.

Gale's head turned to look at me. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You actually care about them," Gale said slowly.

"Yes. I genuinely do. And I know that they care about me, too," I growled.

The two of us stared at each other for a few seconds. I knew that they cared about me. They had made it obvious. Perhaps they were a little off and showed their love in a strange way, being from the Capitol and so closely tied to the Games, but I genuinely believed that they - just like Cinna - had always cared for me in some way or another. Just like Effie did. Gale finally turned away and stuffed the rabbit in the sack before rising to his feet.

"We better get going if we want to make it back on time," Gale said.

"Fine," I growled.

The two of us glared at each other again. But Gale had always been the one who could get over arguments. I was the one who would stay angry with him until he offered an apology that I found suitable. Gale leaned down and offered Katniss a hand up. She easily bounced back to her feet as Gale turned back to me and gave me his hand. But I ignored his offer of a hand up and got to my feet unsteadily. That damned concussion and electrocution were still getting to me, even after almost a month.

"Well that was a good trip," Katniss said, letting out a breath.

"Almost reminds me of the good old days," I muttered.

"Fighting constantly? Yes. That seems very familiar," Katniss joked.

It was enough just to barely make the three of us smile at each other. But it didn't last very long. Just long enough for the three of us to ensure that the fight wouldn't get escalated anymore. Definitely not something that I needed right now. Not something that any of us needed with our friendship on such strained terms. None of us talked on the way back, but once we were inside the gate - as I pushed myself to keep walking even through the exhaustion - I thought of something else.

"During the Quarter Quell, Octavia and Flavius had to quit because they couldn't stop crying over me going back in. And Venia could barely say goodbye," I said.

"I'll try and keep that in mind as they... remake you," Gale growled.

"Do," I snapped.

"Hey," Katniss said, stepping in between the two of us and shoving us backwards. "Knock it off. Come on. Let's go show off the deliveries."

"Great," I muttered.

As we headed out, I had to follow Katniss and Gale. I didn't have a clue where the kitchen was, but they did. Clearly they had been before. We handed the meat over to Greasy Sae in the kitchen. She apparently liked District 13 well enough, as I spent a while speaking with her, even though she thought that the cooks were somewhat lacking in imagination. But a woman who came up with a palatable wild dog and rhubarb stew was bound to feel as if her hands were tied here.

"I'm gonna go out hunting with Dean," I said as we left.

"Here," Gale said, pushing his bow into my chest.

"Thanks," I said, watching him storm off.

Back to square one... I coughed gently as I slung his bow back over my shoulders, running the opposite way of my own. I had been forced to leave the arrows in the armory. "You want me to come out with you?" Katniss asked.

For a moment I thought about taking her up on it. But I eventually shook my head. "I think I need to be with him alone for a while. There are some things that the two of us need to say to each other," I said.

"Okay. Have fun out there."

"Thanks." As the two of us headed back out into the main hallway, I looked over at her. "Can you... I don't know. Talk to Gale?" I asked awkwardly.

These days it seemed that Gale would rather chat with Katniss. "I'll try and get him to see it the right way," she promised.

"Thank you. I'm sick of fighting with him."

"You two were doing so well for a while. What happened?"

"We found out that Cato is alive," I said blankly.

"Aspen..." Katniss trailed off.

"It's fine, Cat. It really is. Gale and I... After the first Games I should have known that the two of us would never be able to go back to that old friendship that we had," I said, remembering that one stupid action that had changed everything. That one damned kiss. "After he kissed me -"

"What?" Katniss interrupted loudly.

That was when I realized that I had never told her about that kiss. I had never told her about any of those kisses. "I forgot that I never told you that," I muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Katniss asked, her voice sounding strained.

"It was the reason that I was so torn throughout the Games. Kill Cato or be with him. If I was with him it was more than just the knowledge that I would have to kill him at the end of the Games and be heartbroken without him. There was guilt there," I tried to explain.

"Because of Gale?" Katniss asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you know about his crush?"

"Kind of. When he came to say goodbye to me we chatted back and forth. He was trying to comfort me. I was trying to reassure him that I would be fine. I told him about my concern that there were twenty-four of us and only one came out. He told me that it was going to be me. Then he kissed me. I was so stunned that I didn't kiss him back until the Peacekeepers pulled him out of the room. He told me that he loved me and..." I trailed off, feeling horrible about what had happened.

"And when you came back a month later you were in love with someone else," Katniss said, easily filling in the blanks.

"Yes."

"Now I get it. Now I get why the two of you have been so tense around each other. I didn't know about the kiss," Katniss said as the two of us stopped walking and lingered in an outcropping.

"I know. I figured that Gale didn't tell you," I said.

"Why didn't you tell me that?

"I don't know. I just... I felt guilty about it and the more people knew... the more that I would be concerned that something would happen between us... and..."

"Then you would have to choose between them."

"Yes. And I can't do that. I can't pick between them."

"I think you already have," Katniss pointed out.

She was right. I had already picked which one I wanted. But that didn't change the fact that I was afraid the other would leave me. "But I don't want to leave Gale behind. I just keep thinking that if I go on in my life with Cato, once we get him back, Gale won't want anything to do with me," I admitted.

"I don't think it matters who you choose in the end. He loves you. He'll want to be with you," Katniss said.

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest. "It just makes me feel so guilty. The entire thing. Even when I know that he's trying not to make me feel guilty," I said.

"He'll stand by you no matter who you pick in the end. It'll be easy for you. Don't worry about him," Katniss said.

We stood in silence for a few moments before I remembered one of the things that I wanted to speak with her about. "Why did you show Gale the letter that I wrote you?" I asked.

"I - I don't know," Katniss stuttered, looking very guilty. "I just needed to talk with someone about it and you weren't anywhere to be found. And I knew that it was too dangerous to talk about it in the Capitol."

"You were right about that," I said.

"Do you trust him?" Katniss asked, referring to Seneca.

"Yes. As much as I wish that I didn't, I do," I said honestly.

"What happened?" Katniss asked.

That horrible memory... "It - It was the night that Cato proposed to me. Seneca brought me back to his room. It was a close call. I didn't have anything on. He was just in his underclothes. I couldn't help it. I started to cry. He saw it. Told me to gather my wits. Said that he wanted a woman to want to be in his bed. So he had me leave. That was when they told him the truth of the rebellion. They knew even back then. He let me go the next day. He was drunk. That was when he attacked me. I got away," I said, trying to leave out the gruesome details.

"Yet you trust him?" Katniss asked disbelievingly.

"Somehow I do. I know that it doesn't make sense. I know that I shouldn't trust him. But for some reason I do. Because I know that he tried to get me to understand about the Games. He's the one person that has guaranteed that he would try and help get Cato back," I explained weakly.

"Do you ever think about what he did to you in the Games?" Katniss asked.

"All the time. That's why I don't completely trust them here," I said. Katniss raised her brow in confusion. "None of them helped."

"Gale says that they needed time to get everything together."

"I don't care. They could have done something."

"I agree."

"You're one of the few people who agree with me."

"Have you kissed him since?" Katniss asked.

"What?" I stuttered.

"Gale," she clarified. "Have you kissed him since?"

"Yes. Twice," I admitted.

"When?"

"The first time was that day when I went out into the woods with Gale. That day that we finally got to be with each other and be ourselves. I was about to suggest that I start taking over the snare run when he kissed me. It surprised me so much that I still didn't react in time. When he let go he told me that it was so I didn't think that the first one was on impulse."

Katniss snorted under her breath and I raised an eyebrow. "Never see those moments coming, do you?" she asked.

That was exactly what I had thought when he had kissed me right after the Games. And it wasn't just Gale. I hadn't seen them coming the first few times with Cato either. "Never. Not the kiss before I left for the Capitol. Not the kiss at Snow's party or the one before the Interviews. Not the one that Gale gave me that day. And not the last one either," I said.

"When was that?"

"After he was whipped. I went to kiss him on the cheek when he kissed me. I couldn't pull away or say anything to him. Not when he was like that."

We both sat in silence for a little while as Katniss nodded. I wasn't sure what she was going to think about the kiss. In the back of my mind I had always known that she had a little bit of a crush on Gale. I had even told Gale that in my final letter to him. I just didn't want her being upset with me that someone she had always loved was now interested in someone else. That would have made me feel awful. I didn't want to hurt her any more than I already had.

"So who's the better kisser?" Katniss asked suddenly.

"Cat!" I barked, startling her. Not just her, a number of the people standing around whipped back to see what was happening. "I don't think I've ever heard you say something like that."

"Sorry. It's been a long time since I've had a chance to say something like that," Katniss said.

"We used to always joke around like that. What happened?" I asked sadly.

"You won the Hunger Games," Katniss said.

"Survived," I corrected.

The two of us stood in silence for a few moments. "So who's better?" Katniss finally asked, nudging me gently.

Snorting under my breath, I shook my head. It would have made me feel bad, no matter who I said. "They're both so different. Gale's have always surprised me. I've never had the chance to really think about them. But they've been comforting. Because I'm used to having him around. Cato... There's something different in those. I'm in love with him, Cat. I really am. Kissing him is like being at home," I said sweetly.

Katniss smiled. "You two are sweet together."

"Thanks."

"When you were dancing on your wedding night, with Finnick, I think it was, I saw him watching you. There was this smile on his face. One that I had never seen before," Katniss said. I smiled softly. I wished that I could have seen that gaze. "It reminded me of the way that..."

"Your father used to look at your mother," I said, filling in the blanks.

"Yours, too," Katniss said, once more reminding me that her parents were mine, too. No matter who my birth parents were. "Yes."

"That's one of the things that I really miss," I said after a few beats of silence. Katniss turned to me confusedly. "Just having him around. Holding my hand. Comforting me after a nightmare. The kisses. The laughter. Just knowing that he's close."

"He would comfort you after the nightmares?" Katniss asked curiously.

"Yeah. He was one of the few people that used to be able to calm me down. Reassure me that it was just a nightmare. He would just let me cry or complain or say nothing and just ignore him," I explained.

Katniss smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder. She knew just how much Cato meant to me. "That's sweet. I guess he would understand. I would try to comfort you but I never knew how," Katniss admitted.

"He understood but I never knew when he was having a nightmare."

"He didn't thrash or scream?"

"No," I said. Somehow I was annoyed that I never knew when Cato had his nightmares. It made me feel like he had always known me so much better than I knew him. Which might have been true. "He said that he would just come to, paralyzed with fear. But apparently his nightmares were usually about losing me. When he saw that I was with him, he would calm down and go back to sleep."

Katniss smiled again. "That's really sweet. He must hate this," Katniss said. I raised a brow, unsure of what she meant. "Not knowing if you're okay."

"Just the way that I've been hating it. But he's alive and he'll be back here soon enough," I said hopefully.

"I didn't realize that the two of you would sleep in the same bed," Katniss said slowly.

That's right. I never told her that we had slept together. "Yeah. We slept together during the Games and it was impossible to stop once we were back in the Capitol. That first night back, when the two of us were alone, I grabbed him and asked him to stay with me. We just never changed after that," I said, knowing that she would understand.

And she did. "It's sweet. Someone to protect you."

"We protect each other. Just the way that I do with you."

"That's true."

"I would always fall asleep on his chest. His arm around my waist and the other lingering on my hip. I did it so that I could press my head against his chest. Listen to his heartbeat as I fell asleep."

"Reminding you that he was alive," Katniss said, filling in the blanks.

"Exactly," I confirmed.

"Must have been hard to come back home and not have him sleeping next to you."

That first night when I had been back home hadn't been too bad. We hadn't even slept in the bedrooms. Ms. Everdeen was on the plush chair as Katniss, Prim, and I all slept on the couch. Prim was sleeping in my lap and I was in Katniss's. There had been one nightmare but it hadn't been that bad. It was the next night - when I had finally slept in my own bedroom - that I had woken up in the middle of the night, thrashing and screaming in horror, sending the three women sprinting into my room in a panic.

"It was. I would wake up, panicked because he wasn't next to me," I said, remembering all sorts of horrible nightmares that I had faced over the last year.

"I'm sorry, Aspen. We're going to get him back as soon as we can," Katniss promised.

"I know."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Even if I had said no, she would have asked the question anyways. "That night of the wedding... Back when you were in the Capitol before the Quell. I heard all of the passing comments when we were saying goodbye," Katniss said.

My head started to spin, but this time it wasn't from the concussion. "Are you trying to ask me if I've slept with Cato?" I asked dumbly.

"Uh, yeah. I am," Katniss said awkwardly.

The two of us stared at each other for a few seconds. All of a sudden we both burst into a hysterical fit of laughter. I leaned forward and fell into Katniss's arms, the two of us still unable to stop laughing. For a long damn time. It was the first time in months that the two of us had laughed and gossiped together. We hardly ever did anything like that. I could barely remember the last time that we did. We had been allies in this for so long that we had forgotten what it was like to be sisters and best friends.

When we finally managed to calm down, I still couldn't quite breathe properly. "Come on. Tell me," Katniss prodded, poking me in the stomach.

"Yeah. I have," I muttered, turning bright red.

Katniss's face turned up into a maniacal smile. "That's everything? Tell me more!" she goaded. I snorted again. It was like we were kids again, discussing the gross boys in our classes. "Come on. Was it after the Games?"

"No!" I shouted, affronted. It hadn't been that soon. "No. I couldn't do it yet. Despite all of the teasing that went back and forth between the two of us, we never did more than some kissing and misplaced clothes. The entire time. Even on the Victory Tour. We would sleep together but that was for comfort. Because the Victory Tour was so hard. We just tried to get through it together. From time to time I would know that I wanted it but I never said anything. It was the night that we were in the Capitol. That was when it happened."

Katniss's brows knitted together in confusion. "I thought that was the night that Seneca Crane..." she trailed off, unwilling to repeat what had happened.

"Yes. That was it. It was that day. He brought me to his apartment and that was when everything happened. When I got back to the penthouse I cleaned up and saw that Cato was still there. He had been waiting for me the entire time. I realized that I had been given another day and I wanted it. It was something that I wanted that I could actually have. So I asked him to do it. For a minute he offered to wait," I said.

"Really?" Katniss asked, surprised.

"Yeah. He told me that we didn't have to just because we were getting married." She smiled, clearly glad that he could be a gentleman when he wanted to. "But I wanted it. Before Seneca could take it what I thought would be the next night," I explained.

"So you did it so that it would be Cato's, at least, and not Seneca's."

"No! That wasn't the whole reason. It was more than that. I really did want it. I had wanted it the entire time that we were on the Victory Tour. It was just something that I wanted. It was one of the few things that I got."

"So it was that night?"

"Yeah. Right after what happened with Seneca."

"Well... How was it?" Katniss asked awkwardly.

"Do you honestly want to know?" I asked.

"I'm curious," Katniss admitted.

"It's not like you would think that it is. I mean it's romantic, but it's not in a traditional sense. There's definitely something about it that's not very romantic. More... intimate, I guess. There's something about being with someone, without anything separating you, which makes you completely vulnerable. You're totally at this other person's mercy. But if you trust them, that's what makes it good. I mean, it's a little painful at first. I bled a little bit when we first did it. But after a little while I started feeling better.

"It's weird though. I kind of laid there for a while. Didn't really do anything. Actually I didn't do anything at all. I just kind of let him take the lead, since he had done it before. I was so embarrassed afterwards. I just buried my head in Cato's shoulder and whined. He was laughing. Not at me. At the fact that I was embarrassed. But he told me that I hadn't done anything wrong. He was saying that it was perfect. The only thing that mattered was that we were together.

"Which was really sweet. But at first I was really embarrassed because I had never been with anyone and I knew that he had. He told me that it was kind of like the first time that he had been with anyone. Because he had never attached feelings to the act. Not before me. It just took some time for things to change between us. For me to kind of react a little bit better to being with him. You know, it was weird, but with time it kind of became fun," I explained as best I could.

"So it's fun?" Katniss asked.

"Yeah. In some ways, it is. But I wouldn't recommend doing it with anyone you don't know," I said.

"I wasn't even planning on doing it with anyone that I did know."

"Not even someone like Gale?" I asked teasingly.

"Aspen!" Katniss shouted, horrified.

Her face was bright red. "Come on, you like him. Everyone knows that you like him. You might not know it, but I do. Just give him a chance," I begged.

"It's the wrong time to be thinking about boys," Katniss said.

"It's never the right time," I pointed out.

"He's hung up on you," Katniss said.

To my surprise, she didn't sound bitter. But Katniss had always been that way. She didn't care for guys. And there was still a part of her that was hung up on Peeta. "He won't always be," I said, referring back to Gale.

"Stop. What about... kids?" Katniss asked slowly.

For a moment I hesitated, unsure of what she was talking about. But then I realized what she meant. "Honestly I didn't think about it at the time. Which was stupid, I know," I said quickly, when I saw the look that she was giving me. "But Cato promised me that he knew what he was doing and it's been over seven months. I think I'm okay."

"Was that the only time?" Katniss asked.

"Of course not," I snorted, earning a snort from Katniss. "It happened a number of times leading up to the Quell."

"But the pregnancy ruse was just that, right?" Katniss asked.

"Of course. I didn't want to have a kid and Cato knew that. Not for a long time. If ever."

"You would make a good mother."

"Thanks. So would you."

"I can't believe that you didn't tell me," Katniss said, scowling.

Rolling my eyes at her, I threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her into me. "Well in the future I will tell you every single time that it happens. And I will tell you in excruciating detail about every moment of the entire ordeal," I said playfully.

"Oh I can pass on that. I can't believe that the two of you slept together and you didn't tell me!" Katniss barked, pulling out of my hold and whopping me on the arm.

"Honestly I figured that you would have known," I said.

"Well I definitely didn't figure it out."

"You're kind of stupid for not figuring it out."

We stared at each other again before cracking up. It was the way that we used to be. I missed being like this with her. Katniss shoved me off to the side and I giggled again. Katniss opened her arms and I walked right into her, giving her a tight hug. It was the first time that either one of us showed any affection for the other that didn't feel like it was required to keep our friendship from unraveling. This was the one thing that felt helpful and real. Detached from the rebellion.

"Come on. Let's go back," I said, pulling out of the hug.

"Alright."

Together the two of us walked back to the compartment, her arms draped over my shoulder. Some people were staring at us, clearly confused at our affection. But we didn't stop to speak with anyone. Exhausted from hunting and my lack of sleep from the night before, we quickly went back to our compartment to find it stripped bare. I stopped in the doorway and stared blankly, only to remember that we had been moved because of Buttercup. So we made our way up to the top floor to find Compartment E.

"Almost forgot about the new compartment," I said dumbly.

"Me, too."

"By the way, don't you dare tell Gale," I snapped as we walked.

"Of course not," Katniss said, affronted. "Does anyone else know?"

"Mom knows."

"How does she know?"

"That was what was in her letter."

"And you didn't tell me?" Katniss barked.

"Sorry, Cat," I said, wrapping her back in another hug. Thinking back on it, I probably should have told her. It would have been someone to talk things out with. "But at least I told you now. And I told you more about it than I've told anyone else."

"Oh, I'm honored," Katniss snapped.

The next chance that I got to sleep with Cato, I was going to sleep with him and tell her everything. We arrived at our new home and I glanced inside. It looked exactly like Compartment 307, except for the window - two feet wide, eight inches high - centered at the top of the outside wall. There was a heavy metal plate that fastened over it, but right now it was propped open, and a certain cat was nowhere to be seen. I stretched out on my bed, and a shaft of afternoon sunlight played on my face.

But just a moment later I sat back upright. "You sleep for a while. I'm gonna go out with Dean. And there's something that I need to tell Seneca," I said, remembering the treatment of the Prep Team.

"Okay. See you later?" Katniss asked, sitting upright.

"I'll be back before Reflection and the assembly," I said.

"Careful out there."

"Always."

As Katniss dropped back onto the bed, she closed her eyes and her breathing almost immediately evened out. She had looked tired during our hunt. She wasn't used to hunting anymore. It had been far too long. I slipped out of the compartment quietly to head into the upper levels of District 13. I needed to go speak with Seneca before I did anything else with Dean. There was something important that I had to say and he had to know if we were really going to be allies.

On my way to find Seneca - who I assumed would be near Plutarch or the War Room - I passed numerous members of District 13. Many of them were murmuring about me. Some were questioning where I was supposed to be. I ignored them. Some seemed to be happy that I had agreed to be the Mockingjay. That rumor was already spreading. But they wouldn't be happy with me once Coin made her announcement. I rounded another corner and luckily spotted Seneca speaking with some other Capitol rebels.

"Seneca. May I have a word?" I asked, walking up and interrupting their conversation.

"Of course. Pardon me," Seneca said, dismissing himself from his friends and heading off into the corner of the room with me. "What can I help you with?"

"Did you know?" I asked sharply.

"About?" Seneca asked.

"My Prep Team!"

"Ah... I was made aware that they were rescued but I haven't seen them since arriving here. Have you found them?"

"Yes. Chained to a wall, beaten, starved, and humiliated," I sneered. Seneca gave a very surprised look. Maybe he hadn't been told either. "All because they took a piece of bread because they aren't used to eating like this."

"Well none of us are used to eating like this," Seneca said. "Are you sure that -?"

"That they were being treated like animals?" I interrupted irritably. "Yes. I'm sure. They can be horrible people at times. I know that. But I won't stand to have someone treated the way that I was. Especially not people like that. Barely as intelligent as children."

"I wasn't aware that they were being treated as such. Have they been removed?"

"Yes. They're healing in the hospital ward. Tomorrow I think that I'm going to start undergoing the process to become their Mockingjay."

"I think that they'll be okay. They just need an adjustment period."

"They'll never be used to this place."

"I don't think that you will be either," Seneca pointed out.

"No. Probably not. I just - I can't believe that they did that to them!" I shouted, annoyed with myself for caring so much about them and with Thirteen for treating them the way that they did. "To the foolish little Prep Team! It was Coin's warning to me."

"That's probably true. She believes that we're taking too big of a risk with you," Seneca said.

"And you?" I asked.

"I believe that you're the only person who can do this. I believe that my faith in you is not misplaced."

"Thank you."

"This means that you'll now have to do everything that they tell you to do."

It would just be another moment that I would be forced to be someone's doll. At least this time I was doing something important. "Apparently. That was the deal. I would do whatever they needed me to do and they would keep the Victors safe. As long as I do what they want, they'll do what I want. Do you think that they'll stick to their word?" I asked carefully.

"Yes. Especially if made in front of a large audience. They can't just go back on their words," Seneca said.

"That's what I'm hoping for," I muttered.

Seneca placed his arm on my shoulder but retracted it almost immediately. "I'll take care of your Prep Team," he promised. I nodded my thanks. "I'm very sorry for what's happened to them. But I must say that I'm surprised that you're defending them."

He sounded just like Gale. Shocked that I was going to help them. "I don't care who they are. I know that they cared for me. And to watch something like that happen to them..." I said, cringing when I thought of their treatment. They really weren't that different here than they were in the Capitol. "They're not used to the horrors of life that I am. That we are."

"Not even with the Games?" Seneca asked.

"To them that's just entertainment. I try to remember that - if I had been raised in the Capitol - I would have been just like them," I said, hating the thought that I could be anything like them.

"Instead you became a symbol of the rebellion," Seneca said.

"Not something that I particularly wanted, but something that I know that I have to accept," I said.

It would never have been anything that I would have wanted. There were a number of things that I wanted. To keep Prim and Katniss safe from the Games. I had managed that much. I wanted my parents back. But that wasn't something that I could get. I had always wanted the Games to be gone. That was the one thing that I was managing. But I had never wanted to be the reason that they were gone. I wanted someone else to deal with it. But life never worked out the way that we wanted.

"Your parents would be proud of the young woman that you are becoming," Seneca said.

"I like to believe that. You - You never met them, did you?" I asked.

Seneca shook his head somewhat regretfully. But I was glad that he hadn't known them. "No. But I do remember their Games. I was fourteen when your father competed in his Games. I was sixteen when your mother competed," Seneca explained.

"So you remember their Games?" I asked slowly.

"Very well."

"Did you know me when I volunteered?" I asked curiously.

Seneca stared at me for a moment before shaking his head. "No. But I knew your name the moment that you said it. I remember being shocked when you said your name. I had long since forgotten about them," Seneca admitted.

"I'm glad to make people remember. I don't like the thought of them just being faceless Tributes," I said.

"They weren't," Seneca promised.

The two of us stared at each other for a moment. I didn't like conversations about my parents. They made me antsy. "I'm going to go back out hunting. Dean is in his training period right now and he asked me if I would take him," I said, trying to change the subject.

"Aren't you finished with your hour?" Seneca asked curiously.

"Yes. But, honestly, what are they going to do? Kill me?" I asked. Seneca snorted. For just a moment, I saw a real man. Not the Gamemaker I had once hated so much. "I'd like to see how that would go over."

"You're far too daring," Seneca said.

"That's probably exactly the reason that we're standing here right now," I pointed out.

To be honest, we both knew that it was the exact reason that we had gotten to this point. All because I was a little too daring. I had been daring when I had volunteered, when I had made my first little speech, and gotten to know Cato. I had been daring in the way that I had attacked the Gamemakers, spoken to Snow and Seneca all of those times, and risked my life throughout the Games. Not to mention the trick with the knives. And, of course, my destruction of the force field.

All of this because I had done far too many things that were too daring. "Enjoy your trip," Seneca finally said, probably unwilling to remember everything I had done to almost get him killed.

"Absolutely." I was about to walk off when I remembered something. One of the reasons that I had come to speak to him in the first place. "Seneca?" I called.

"Yes?"

"Was there something that you wanted to tell me?" I asked. He looked unclear on what I meant. "Yesterday. You were in my room and you were going to say something. Gale interrupted us."

"Perhaps another time," Seneca said, turning to leave.

"Wait," I said, running after him and grabbing his arm, pulling him back. "Come on. Just tell me."

"Are we friends?" Seneca asked.

"Yes. I think that we can finally say that we are friends," I said slowly.

"Then I can't be the one to tell you this," Seneca said.

How was that fair? "That doesn't make any sense. If we're friends, tell me," I goaded.

He had to tell me what he meant. I deserved that much. I deserved for people to start telling me the truth. "It's for that exact reason that I can't tell you. But perhaps you should speak with Haymitch," Seneca said.

"Is he even still alive?" I growled.

As much as I wanted to hate Haymitch - and I genuinely did, in my own way - I didn't want to hear that he was dead. Because he had done a lot for me over the past year. He had even helped out my parents. And he had kept one of his promises. He had kept his promise to Cato. I was just furious that he hadn't kept his promise to me. I had known him longer. I was the one that he was supposed to keep his promises to. I would always be angry about that.

"Last I heard. They're trying to take care of him," Seneca said.

Obviously he would still be detoxing from all of the alcohol. "I have nothing to say to Haymitch," I said irritably.

"Trust me when I say that it would be helpful to speak with him," Seneca said.

Maybe one day I would be able to force myself to go and see him. "So it's my secret, but for some reason, I'm the person who doesn't know it," I commented.

"You would think that you would be used to it," Seneca said.

"You would think. But I have a feeling that it will never be like that."

"I'm deeply sorry that this continues to happen to you," Seneca said slowly.

Shrugging my shoulders, I turned in a circle around him. "Maybe one day I'll get used to it. But I'm not sure that I can go and speak to Haymitch. I haven't seen him since that day on the hovercraft. I really don't want to see him and I highly doubt that he wants to see me," I said honestly.

"But this is important. This is something that you should speak to him about," Seneca promised.

"Why can't you tell me?" I asked.

"Because this is something that I wasn't supposed to be made privy to. They thought that I would tell you," Seneca explained.

"Their faith was misplaced," I said grumpily.

"Go find Haymitch and speak to him about it," Seneca said.

"Funny how it all works out," I said, realizing something. Seneca raised a perfectly-formed brow. "One of the people who I trusted least in the entire world has now become one of my most trusted confidantes. And one of the only people who I genuinely trusted in the world has now become someone that I wish that I had never trusted."

Seneca smiled guiltily and shook his head. "Haymitch wanted to get Cato out, too. Believe it or not, he cares for the boy. So does Brutus. Coin wanted Cato to come out of the arena." I snorted. That much I had already known. "But we picked you in the end. We knew that you wouldn't be happy with us," Seneca said.

"You were right," I said.

"But we were hoping that you would be able to move past it for the greater good."

"I'm barely twenty. There should be no greater good for me," I said sadly.

"I know. But that's the way that life works sometimes."

"Lucky me."

The two of us stood in silence for a few moments as I shifted awkwardly. Maybe I did need to speak with Haymitch. Maybe he could help. "You mentioned that you were going hunting?" Seneca asked suddenly.

"Yes. I should get going," I said, pointing away.

"Weren't you already out this morning?" Seneca asked.

"Yes. But I went out with Katniss and Gale. I want to go out with Dean for a little while," I said.

"Your hour isn't up?" Seneca asked.

There came the point of me always being terrible at following the rules. "Oh, it is. But I have a Weapons Management class after this and I really am not in the mood for sitting through classes. Dean has training. So I figured that I would go out again. I kind of have some good leverage for getting them to let me out again," I said pointedly.

"That's true. Have a good trip," Seneca said.

"Thanks." We were about to leave again when I thought about something. "You interested in ever learning?" I asked, obviously surprising him.

"As funny as it might sound, I've never picked up a weapon before," Seneca said.

"What better time to learn than during a war?" I teased.

Seneca gave me a grateful smile. "Perhaps. I'll see you during the assembly," Seneca said.

"See you later," I chirped.

Maybe it would be a good chance for the two of us to genuinely bond. We hadn't gotten that chance yet. I wanted to trust Seneca so badly, but I needed to know if I could. What better way to learn to trust someone than to take the time bonding with them? As I walked off, I realized that I had absolutely no idea where Dean would be right now. I just knew that he had training next, but it wasn't quite time for him to be there yet. So I meandered down a few hallways, all the while being unable to find him.

Eventually I made my way back down the hallway where I used to live and headed into the Hadley compartment. Most of them weren't there, not that I could be surprised. It was the middle of the day. Alana and Damien were at work. Skye and Julie were in their classes, probably with Gale. Aidan was in school like Prim. Only Marley and Carrie were in the compartment. Carrie was taking care of her. As I exchanged a few comments with her, Carrie let me know to check for Dean in the cafeteria.

She also made me promise not to take it easy on Dean when we were out there. I promised her that I wouldn't. I thanked her and promised that I really would watch out for him while we were out hunting. Not that we needed to. There was nothing that dangerous in these woods. I headed back out into the dining room and spotted Dean sitting at the Hadley's table by himself. I walked over and plopped down into the empty chair next to him.

"Dean," I greeted.

"Aspen. Hey. How are you?" Dean asked.

"I've finally gotten the chance to breathe some air for the first time since being here," I answered.

The corners of his lips turned upwards. It didn't take a genius to figure out what I meant. "You went hunting this morning, didn't you?" Dean asked, grinning.

"Yes. With Katniss and Gale. We had a good haul. More fresh meat than I'd be willing to bet that District 13 has seen in a long time," I said carelessly.

Dean gave a happy smile. "I'll be looking forward to that at dinner," he said.

Dinner was never a good meal in District 13. In fact, none of our meals were very good. Water and milk right now were the only things that we were allowed to drink. Usually dinner was some type of soup with whatever chopped up vegetables that they could find, which were almost always disgusting. Pea soup was also very popular, but it was unfortunately something that I despised. Potatoes, onions, and turnips all made regular appearances, but none of them tasted like the delicacies in the Capitol.

It was the one thing that I missed about the place. The good food. We could definitely use some fresh meat in District 13. "So what are you doing right now?" I asked, shattering the silence.

"Eating," Dean said carelessly.

We both laughed. "How about hunting?" I offered.

"You've already used your hour though, haven't you?" Dean asked.

"Sure. But you haven't. You're going to training," I pointed out.

"What about the time limit that you have?" Dean asked.

"There aren't too many good things about being the Mockingjay. It's kind of a pain in the ass. But I did find something worth it. I can pretty much say and do whatever I want and they have to bend to my will. Since this isn't anything too big I figure that they'll have to bend. Plus I thought that we could spend some time together," I said brightly.

Dean and Carrie had always been my favorite of the Hadley's anyways. It would be nice for us to spend some time together doing what I loved best. "I would love that. I'm finished here. Shall we?" Dean offered.

"Absolutely," I said, hopping to my feet.

"You know, I don't have a weapon," Dean pointed out.

"Gale said that he would let you borrow his bow. Just don't break it. I can't promise what he'll do to you if you break his precious bow," I said, handing over Gale's bow.

It wasn't nearly as nice as mine, but it wasn't totally useless. Dean took the bow and slowly ran a hand over the wooden limbs. It was old. One of the oldest bows that I knew of. His father had made it long before Gale was even born. At least Katniss and I's bows had been made after we were born. Mr. Everdeen had made ours. The one that I was currently using was mine from the Games. I hated what it reminded me of, but there was no doubt that it was the best of the three weapons.

"Oh, I understand about a man and his weapons. I used to use a broadsword and I would have killed someone if they damaged it," Dean said, staring down at the bow.

"That's what Cato used in the Games," I commented, unsure of why I had said it.

Of course Dean would have known what weapon his brother had used. He had watched him train with it growing up. "Yes. I got it from my father, Cato got it from me, and Aidan got it from Cato. Sword fighting runs with the men in the family. The women tend to like knives." To his credit, I was definitely fond of knives, too. I had just recently developed better aim with the bow. "We've never had an archer in the family before," Dean commented.

"First time for everything, I suppose," I said, turning my bow over in my hands.

"It's cool. I always liked watching archery," Dean said.

"Not big in District 2?" I asked.

Being easier to make shots with a bow, I would have thought that it was a popular weapon. "Not at all. You know, they would prefer the close-up action of a knife or sword fight," Dean explained.

"Yeah. I knew during my first private training session that I had to show off with the bow and arrows or else there was a good chance that they wouldn't put one in there," I said, remembering the advice that Gale had given me.

"You did well. To be honest, we were kind of glad that Glimmer cut you off for the bow. We knew that you would have been able to take out the Careers when you were stuck up in that tree with it," Dean said.

For a moment I hesitated. I had almost forgotten about that. He was right. The first few times that the Careers had cornered me - both knowing and unknowingly - I hadn't had the bow. I had been griping to myself about how easy it would have been to take them all out if I had the bow and arrows. I had known how easy it would have been. The problem with knives was that they had been too hard to make the strange angles with. But now... maybe it was a good thing that I hadn't had it.

The one thing that Glimmer had done right. She had cut me off for that damned bow. Little did she know that by cutting me off and keeping me from killing Cato, she had helped set all of this in motion. At least, that was what I told myself to keep me from thinking that all of this was my fault. I knew that it wasn't all my fault. There were so many other people who had helped this along. Some who knew exactly what they were doing and others who had no idea what they were doing.

"In retrospect, I guess I'm glad that I didn't have it, too," I said slowly.

"Shall we?" Dean asked.

"Sure. Let's get everything together," I said.

Together the two of us headed back up towards the top of District 13 and out into the opening, not far from the entry of the training grounds. It took some convincing for the guards to let me come out, but after some complaining for a few minutes and threats about taking back my promise about being the Mockingjay, they finally allowed to let me out. Not that they looked very happy about it. But Plutarch and Seneca agreed to just let me out and save the fight.

It was smart of them. Because they knew that I would fight tooth and nail to get them to let me go out there for another hour and cause a number of problems in the process. We sat together for a long while as the guards explained the rules to me again and Dean for the first time and we were refitted with the tracking devices. It was as annoying as it was the first time. As we made to leave, I promised to watch out for Dean, taking back my pack of arrows and handing him a new pack.

As we headed out of the training field, I pulled my bow off of my back and held it out. "Mine is a little easier to use. Do you want to give it a try?" I asked.

"No. Being from District 2, I like the challenge," Dean said.

We both smiled. I could appreciated that. "Okay. Shall we?" I asked.

"We shall."

For the second time that day, I walked out of the electrified fence and headed off into the woods. For a while I let Dean take the lead to go wherever he wanted. I figured that he could figure it out. But I saw that he did trace over his tracks a few times. He clearly wasn't a hunter as he couldn't tell where he was going and didn't know how to stay on a straight path. So I took over the lead and motioned for him to follow me. His footfalls were loud but the animals weren't suspicious enough to care.

It was obvious that we weren't going to scare them off. There had never been hunters out in these woods before. They didn't understand the danger of our little bits of noise. It was a refreshing change from the more difficult to hunt in woods of District 12. Which was likely now destroyed after the firebombs were dropped. Large bits of the woods had been destroyed along with half of the Meadow. I had spread Leah's ashes in the bits of the Meadow that weren't destroyed.

As the minutes ticked by and we went further and further out into the woods, I found myself getting a little more relaxed. I loved being out here. It almost made me forget about the rebellion, the Capitol, Cato, and the Mockingjay. Being out here reminded me of the days before the first Reaping that had sent me into the Games. It reminded me of the days before I knew what it was like to be painfully in love and before my friendship with Katniss and Gale had become so strained.

Trying to focus my mind on what was happening all around me and focusing just on the surrounding woods, I tried to go back to the way that I used to be. A hunter. And a damned good one. So I focused on the details. Dean had Gale's bow slung over his back as we walked. He didn't know how to use it - nocking the arrow, anchoring it, aiming, or firing. I was planning on waiting until we were a little deeper into the woods before showing him how.

On my order, Dean was silent as we walked through the woods. I had explained to him early on in our trek that even though the soft noises of our footfalls or breathing wouldn't alert them, the sound of our voices would. They would deem it as a predator coming to attack. And I was planning on trying to show him how to actually hunt an animal. My ears were tuned in for anything that I could hear. A change in the wood or crack of the branch.

Unlike Dean, I had my bow in my hand and an arrow already nocked. Just in case I heard or saw something. There was also always the chance that there could have been something dangerous in the woods. I had seen my fair share of wolves for one lifetime. As I stepped over a fallen tree, I heard Dean step on a twig. We both froze. The moment that the crack echoed through the wood, a bird flew out of the tree behind us.

It looked like it might have been something like a groosling. The thought only painfully reminded me of one of the people who I was doing all of this for. Rue. I acted faster than I had on that awful day. I heard the leaves fluttering as the bird shot off and I turned back on my heel, aiming over Dean's head. He ducked down, clearly realizing what I was planning on doing, and I fired. The bird fell out of the air a moment later and landed on the ground with a soft thump.

The bird landed about fifty feet away from us. The arrow was straight through the eye, wasting none of the meat. Just the way that Mr. Everdeen had once taught us. I noticed that Dean's jaw was practically hanging open. I smiled at him and walked over to the bird. I yanked the arrow out of the eye socket, cleaned it off with a piece of moss, slipped the arrow back into the sheath, and stuffed the bird into the game back. I hooked the game bag back around my waist and walked back to Dean.

"How did you do that? You didn't even see it," Dean said breathlessly.

"I heard it," I answered.

Dean laughed under his breath. It showed the difference between the two of us; a Career and a hunter. Careers were taught to use their eyes. When they saw something, they took the chance to attack. They saw the big picture. But I was a hunter. I relied on the little things. Those tiny sounds more than anything else. The ability to spot something - some minuscule detail - that tipped me off to the fact that something was wrong. I supposed that it made Cato and I a good team. We saw the details and big picture.

"I remember you mentioning that from the first Games that you were in. You told Cato that was the problem with being deaf in one ear. You relied more on your ears than your eyes," Dean said.

Having that brief deafness - which was technically permanent - was horrible. "That's what hunting is about. You listen," I said.

"Alright. Teach me, master," Dean teased.

We both laughed as I shoved him away from me. "You stand still. That's the first thing about hunting. Moving around makes things worse. The animals can hear you. Feel the changes," I said. Dean nodded, remaining otherwise still. "We learn to become just like them. Hunters become the animals."

"Spoken like a true hunter," Dean said, smiling.

"Take your shoes off." Dean looked at me like I had lost my mind. "You walk too loudly right now." Dean nodded and slipped his boots off, tossing them into the game bag. "What we're doing right now it called still-hunting. You decide on a period of time to stand still; five minutes or so. You'll be forced to remain quiet and silent for a minimum amount of time, longer if necessary," I said, keeping him on my left side.

"Did you do this in Twelve?" Dean asked quietly.

The days that we had been forced to stand still for hours on end... "Yes. During the winter a lot. Everything was dead and crunched loudly. So we stood still and waited," I explained.

"You just learned all this?" Dean asked.

"With time. Katniss's father taught me. My parents left behind a book with some tricks," I said. I wished that I still had the book, but it had been lost in the rubble of the Everdeen's old home after the firebombing. "We learned things ourselves. We put it all together and became a perfect team."

"You three trust each other beyond anything I've ever seen before," Dean said, referring to Katniss, Gale, and I.

"We're family. We grew up together and protected each other. That's just how it goes," I muttered.

"You make a good team," Dean said.

"Thanks," I said softly.

Once upon a time we had been the best team that anyone could have imagined. And, in some ways, we still were. We knew exactly how to hunt together. We didn't need words. We just knew. We knew exactly how to work together. And we still had our moments of being best friends. But there were so many things that happened. The tenseness with Gale because of my marriage to Cato. My anger with Katniss for not telling me the truth. The fact that we were all hot-headed and tended to yell at each other...

"There's a different trick you use for deer," I said, desperate to change the subject.

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"Deer are easily alerted to human cadence," I said.

"What?" Dean asked dumbly.

"The noise that we make while we walk," I explained. Dean nodded in understanding. "The slow hunter's tread. You have to try taking quick steps in a short sprint for ten to twenty yards or so. Stop, and do it again. Keep your footfalls as light as possible; you would be surprised at how much you sound like a squirrel scrambling through the leaves."

"Clever," Dean said.

"Thank you. That was a trick that my parents left behind. I've only taken down three deer before and one barely counted," I said, remembering the poor baby that we had more put out of its misery than anything else. "Okay. Now for tracking. Remember when I blew up the Career supplies in my first Games?"

Dean snorted under his breath. "That's a hard one to forget," Dean said.

He wasn't bitter about it. They hadn't been bitter about it in a long time. "Pulling that hood up, I had a reason. Keep from leaving a blood trail," I explained. Dean nodded. "We're doing just that here. You find a blood trail and follow it. It'll likely lead you to an injured animal."

"Okay."

"We've lost many animals to this one. The instant drop. An animal that drops immediately is more likely to run off than one that doesn't go down but runs some distance and then falls. The animal that falls immediately might do so from shock, then recover and run. When an animal drops instantly, stay put and be prepared for a quick follow-up shot."

"That must have burned."

It was a mistake that I had made a number of times when I had first started hunting. "Oh, it did. I shot a deer once and it did just that. I tracked it all damn day. Lost it and had nothing. It was a very hungry weekend," I said bitterly.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dean said.

"That's okay. Keep your eyes up. Animals will leave blood trails on leaves and trees, too. Not just the ground. When you shoot an animal, be aware if they're just playing dead. If you need to make another shot, go for the throat or eyes. No wasting meat with body shots," I said.

"You sound almost like one of the instructors in District 2," Dean commented.

"I'm not sure whether to thank you or slap you," I said seriously.

"A thanks would be appreciated," Dean said.

We both laughed. In the back of my mind I was sure that he held some fondness for the instructors back in District 2. They had probably felt like a part of the family for a long time. I wondered how they felt about everything right now. I reached down into my boot and pulled out what I had slipped in it before. Dean was watching me with curious eyes as I held out the piece of leather to him. He didn't take it, clearly not understanding what it was.

"Okay. This is an arm guard. It goes on the forearm of the arm that's holding the bow. Its purpose is to protect your arm if the string hits it. Trust me, it hurts," I promised.

"Okay."

All I could remember was the time that I was finally getting used to really firing my bow back when I was thirteen or so. I had been about to release my arrow to hit a knot in a tree about ten feet away when a crack of a branch had startled me and I let the string slip. It had burned straight across my forearm, leaving a nasty rash for days. I slowly laced it up Dean's arm and made sure to hook it around his fingers, tightening it to make sure that the string wouldn't catch on the eyelets.

"Just like that. Comfortable?" I asked, straightening it out.

"Yes."

"We'll practice with that tree," I said, pointing to a tree that was about fifteen feet away. "See that knot at about your throat height?"

"Yes."

"You're gonna aim for that."

"Okay."

"Stand perpendicular to the target," I ordered. Dean moved into position. I placed my hands on my stomach and rotated his body so that he was standing completely in line. "You're right-handed?"

"Yes."

"Stand with your left hip pointing toward the target. Keep the rest of your body vertical. Don't lean to one side or the other," I said, correcting a few bits of his stance. "Turn only your head towards the target." I forced his shoulders back into line. "Chest in and shoulders down, make sure not to hunch up your shoulders."

"Like that?" Dean asked, straightening out a little bit.

"Good. Now for the bow. Hold the bow with your left hand on the hand grip. Your life line should be perpendicular to the ground when you hold your bow. Your knuckles should be at an approximately forty-five degree angle." Dean placed his hands where I showed him. "Don't hold the bow with a death grip. It'll make the shot inaccurate. Be relaxed so that every movement will be smooth," I said, watching as his hand turned white.

"Okay. Like this?" he asked.

His grip slowly let up on the bow. "Yes. You need to load the arrow by fitting the notch in the end of the arrow onto the bow string. Do it before lifting your bow and without actually drawing the string." He did as told. "Lift the bow to shoulder height. The arm holding the bow needs to be straight and locked at the elbow. Put the odd color vane between the riser and the arm holding the bow," I continued to explain, manipulating his arms into the right stance.

"Good?" Dean asked.

"Good. Pull the bowstring back. Pull back far enough that your hand rests right under your jawbone. Touch your face around the corner of your mouth. That's your anchor point," I said, pushing his arm forward a bit. "Don't twist your torso to face the target. Don't be afraid of the string and touch it to your face. It won't hurt you."

I pushed his hand up against his face to make sure that the string was touching his mouth. "Okay," Dean said.

"Let the stronger muscles in your back do most of the work as you draw the bow as opposed to your arm muscles. And don't chicken wing by placing your elbow below the arrow. Keep it up and aligned with the arrow. Like this," I said, pushing his arm straight.

"Got it," Dean said.

"Take aim. You want to aim with your dominant eye while keeping your other eye closed. Your dominant eye is much more reliable for your aim to the target. I think it's your right one," I said after a beat.

"How can you tell?" Dean asked, surprised.

"Just by the way you look at things," I answered vaguely. Really it was because Cato's dominant eye was his right and that was usually genetic. "Relax your fingers off the string to loose. Don't jerk the string back, or the arrow won't fly straight. Keep your release as smooth and gentle as possible. When you've released, stay still until you hear the arrow hit the target."

"Okay," Dean said.

"Shoulder up. Press against your mouth. Slowly release," I instructed.

His movements were very slow and very deliberate. Which was a good thing, because I had to step in four or five times to make minor adjustments. I didn't want him to completely miss his first shot. I knew how awful that was. When Mr. Everdeen had taught me, I had completely missed my second shot by feet. The only reason that I had made my first was because Mr. Everdeen had kept his arm around me and made the shot half by himself.

Standing back a few inches from Dean - leaving him just enough room to try and make the shot properly - I watched as he fingers very slowly relaxed from the string. Just the way that I had shown him. He had dropped the bow slightly, so it wouldn't be totally accurate, but it looked close. I watched as he ultimately let the string go and watched as it snapped forward and the arrow flew off. Dean stayed in position as I turned towards the tree and grinned. Dean slowly lowered the bow to look at his shot.

It was just a few inches underneath the knot. "Not bad," I admitted.

Dean turned to me with a grateful smile. "You're a good teacher," Dean praised.

"Thank you."

"Your turn," Dean teased.

Laughing under my breath, I nodded. I probably should have seen that one coming. But I knew how to make my shot perfectly. I slipped an arrow out of the sheath, nocked the arrow, raised the bow, aimed quickly, pulling back the string to my anchor point, and fired. The arrow shot straight off of the bow and went right where I wanted it. The arrow went straight through the arrow that Dean had just shot and split the metal arrow down the middle. Just as I had done my first time around in private training.

It reminded me just of how the Hunger Games really affected me at every moment of my life. "You're a better shot than Cato ever could be," Dean commented, staring bewilderingly at the shot.

"Thanks. Years of practice," I said, walking over to the tree.

Taking the split arrow, I tossed it off to the side - now that it was completely useless - and placed the other one back in my sheath. "You're fast, too," Dean added.

"You have to be fast to be a hunter. With time you'll get better," I reassured him.

"Alright. I want to try without your help," Dean said hopefully.

"Go ahead," I said excitedly.

It was always fun to see just how well someone could do without your help. I had faith that Dean could do pretty well, considering just how good he was back in the Academy. Not that I had ever seen him fight or train before. But Cato had told me numerous stories of his training and I knew that Dean had almost been the one to volunteer for the Games when he was eighteen. That meant that he had to be good. Plus he was large and powerful. It showed how well-trained he had once been.

Taking a few steps back, I started to spin an arrow in my hand as I watched Dean. He grabbed another one of his own arrows, nocked it properly, set it against the bow and pulled back the string. He moved with slow and deliberate movements. His setup was good, clearly the way that someone trained would work, but he wouldn't make a center shot. It was his positioning that was wrong. He was too tense and slightly off-centered. When he finally fired, it barely clipped the edge of the tree.

"Don't feel bad. It takes time," I said softly.

"When did you start getting better?" Dean asked.

"When I was about thirteen or so. But that was years after I first started using the bow. I fired one for the first time when I was six," I said, remembering the shot.

"You're very good," Dean said.

"Thanks," I chirped brightly. "I'm hoping that they'll let me use it when the time comes that I go out in the field."

The bow and arrow was my weapon. So were knives. They always would be. I couldn't get used to the idea of a gun. "I can't imagine that they wouldn't. You're clearly a good shot," Dean said.

"Thank you."

"I'd like to see you try and teach Cato one day."

Snorting under my breath, I shook my head. He would take a lot of time. He was too trained with the sword. "I offered but we never got around to it. Maybe I'll get the chance when he comes back," I muttered.

"Well I'd love to see him infuriated about how much better the little girl from District 12 is than the big, bad, Career," Dean said, making us both laugh.

"He'll always be competitive about things like that," I said.

"It's the District 2 in him," Dean said, giving me a pointed smile.

"Alright. Come on. Let's see what you've got," I teased.

It was just the way that Dean was. Clove, Brutus, Enobaria, and all of the other people that I knew from District 2. Whether it was with weapons or fighting or simple bets, they always wanted to win and be right. They had the opportunity for love and fun in their lives. It wasn't the way that things were in District 12. We did everything to survive. There was no time for fun. There never would be. Not when we were starving to death and dying in the mines every day.

That was why we had always loved escaping to the woods. Because it felt like we were finally somewhere else. It felt like we could have forgotten everything that had happened between us. It was the one place that we could always be ourselves. And right now I felt like I could be myself. There were no worries. I was just having fun. We were both having fun. It felt like we were actually a real brother and sister pair right now, teasing and teaching each other.

We spent the remainder of our hour firing our bows. For the most part we were using the trees as target practice. Dean wouldn't actually be able to hunt until he had better aim, considering the fact that animals were moving targets. Dean clearly had very good aim but he simply didn't have the experience. I told him after multiple missed shots that he would get much better with time. He was better than average already, likely something that came from his days at the Academy.

Even Cato wasn't half-bad with the bow and arrow. I had seen him make enough shots to know that he was very good. I had come very close to receiving one of those shots. Dean wasn't nearly as good as Cato was, but I assumed that it was because he hadn't trained as hard and he really hadn't trained in a few years. Cato had been training constantly since he was a child. He had only taken a few months off after our first Games together. Dean hadn't trained in almost three years from what I had heard.

For a while I stopped firing and watched him. I sat back on one of the rocks to sunbathe and called out directions to him. I really didn't mean to, but I did laugh each time that he missed. He would turn back and scowl each time that I laughed. He really hated that I could make impressive trick shots - like firing in the middle of a back flip or sliding past on my knees to make a shot - and still never miss. He could have never dreamed of making them. We teased each other for a long time as I continuously showed him up.

The watch on my wrist was the one thing that I kept checking, just to ensure that we weren't going over our time limit. Eventually I had to turn back and warn Dean that it was almost time to head back to District 13. I made a brief promise that I would teach him how to properly hunt next time. This time had been more about learning to properly shoot. On our way back, with Dean now carrying our shoes, I managed to take out a few more animals that darted through our path.

"Damn you're fast," Dean said as I skewered a squirrel back against a tree.

"Gotta be faster than the animals," I said.

"Very good," Dean laughed.

"Here. Wanna see something cool?" I offered.

"Sure."

"Take this." I handed him over a reasonably large rock. He raised a brow at me. "Throw it at a higher branch on one of those trees," I said, motioning to one of the trees off in the distance.

"Okay," Dean said.

He took the rock from me and reared back. I had a new arrow nocked as I watched where he was planning on aiming. He tossed the rock as hard as he could at a tree that was a number of yards away. Just like what had happened with Gale over a year ago, a flock of birds flew out. I immediately took aim. So did Dean with his own bow. I fired one arrow and a second, managing to take the two birds down before the flock got too far away. Dean missed but came very close to hitting one.

"That is a cool trick," Dean said, helping me pick up the two birds.

I grabbed one as Dean took the other, putting them both in the game bag. "Believe it or not, Gale actually taught us that one. Katniss and me. Cato helped me out with it during the first Games," I said.

"I remember that," Dean commented.

"You were close," I said, searching for Dean's lost arrow.

"Thanks. Just gonna take some time."

"Absolutely. We'll come out the next time that I can."

"I look forward to it."

The two of us headed back towards the gates of District 13 when something else occurred to me. The new thing that was bothering me. "Can I ask you something?" I said suddenly.

"Sure," Dean said.

"Do you have any idea what Seneca Crane could be talking about when he says that there's something that I need to speak to Haymitch about?" I asked.

"That could be a large number of things unfortunately," Dean said after a moment's hesitation.

"Something that people wouldn't want me to know?" I clarified.

"That could also be a large number of things," Dean said.

We both snorted loudly. He was right about that. They never wanted to tell me the truth about what was happening. "That's very true. I guess one day I'll have to own up and get back in touch with Haymitch," I muttered irritably.

"Do me a favor," Dean said. I nodded blankly. "Give him a break. He did what he thought was the best for everyone."

"I know. It doesn't change the fact that I'm angry with him," I growled.

"I know, Aspen. We're all a little angry about things. But this is the wrong time to be angry with each other. We have to work together," Dean said softly.

As much as I hated that idea, I knew that he was right. We all had to work together if we wanted this rebellion to end and for us to win. That meant that I had to try and forgive Haymitch. Not necessarily forgive him, but try and learn to work with him. Realize that he did what was right for the rebellion. But it would take a lot of time. We might not ever be able to get back to where we had once been. Almost like a father and daughter. We were almost like strangers now.

The closer that we got back to District 13, I turned back and smiled at Dean. I might not have liked what he had said to me, but I knew that he was right. He wrapped an arm over my shoulder and pressed a kiss against my hair. I laughed as we arrived back to District 13 and headed inside. We had our trackers taken off and put our weapons back in storage in the armory. Just a moment later we turned and headed back into the main halls of District 13.

"You'll be at the assembly later?" I asked.

"Of course. I'll see you there?" Dean asked.

"Yes. But I might be hiding in the crowd," I said honestly.

"That's probably a good idea," Dean teased.

"See you soon."

The two of us smiled at each other as I brought him into a painful hug. It really was nice to be back with him, if even just for a little while. I had almost forgotten how much that I liked Dean. I was glad that Carrie had him in her life. I knew how she felt - falling in love with a Hadley man. I just wished that I had mine back. And I would. Soon enough. Dean and I departed from each other as he headed back to spend some time with his wife and daughter before the assembly later.

For a moment I thought about going to seek out Haymitch, but I really didn't know where he was and I didn't really want to have to deal with him quite yet. I wanted to be petty for a little while longer. So I headed off and went back to my new compartment. Just as I had left her, Katniss was curled up in her bed, fast asleep. I fell into my own and shut my eyes, staying quiet. I was back asleep in a matter of seconds. The next thing that I knew, Prim was waking Katniss and I up for 18:00 - Reflection.

That meant that it was time for the assembly. Time for me to officially become the Mockingjay and for me to become the new most hated person in District 13. As I threw a pillow at Katniss to wake her up, she almost fell out of the bed. Prim told us that they had been announcing the assembly since lunch. The entire population, except those needed for essential jobs, were required to attend. Which made me sick. Everyone there to hate me. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and nodded.

"Okay. Let's go," I said.

As the three of us stood upright and headed out into the hallway, Katniss wrapped an arm around my waist. "Ready to be public enemy number one?" Katniss teased.

"I'm kind of used to it already," I said honestly.

"Well we love you," Prim said sweetly.

"And that's all that matters," I said, pressing a kiss into her hair.

We followed the directions to the Collective, a huge room that easily held the thousands who showed up. You could tell that it was built for a larger gathering, and perhaps it held one before the pox epidemic. Prim quietly pointed out the widespread fallout from that disaster - the pox scars on people's bodies, and the slightly disfigured children. All of these people here were about to hate me. Maybe they already had. The room had a towering ceiling that made me nervous. I wanted to be back in the woods.

"They've suffered a lot here," Prim said.

My face warped into a scowl. Not at Prim. Not at anything that she had said. She was still a child and a kind one at that. She loved everyone, even the people that she didn't have any reason to like. She didn't like to see anyone in pain. She didn't like to see anyone have any kind of suffering in their lives. But I wasn't that kind of person. I was vengeful and bordering on cruel. And after what I saw this morning, I was in no mood to feel sorry for Thirteen.

"No more than we did in Twelve," I said.

As we moved to our spots, I saw Ms. Everdeen lead in a group of mobile patients, still wearing their hospital nightgowns and robes. Finnick stood among them, looking dazed but gorgeous. In his hands he held a piece of thin rope, less than a foot in length, too short for even him to fashion into a usable noose. There was probably a reason for that. His fingers moved rapidly, automatically tying and unraveling various knots as he gazed about. Probably part of his therapy.

Breaking from Prim and Katniss for a moment, I crossed to him and said, "Hey, Finnick." He didn't seem to notice, so I nudged him to get his attention. "Finnick! How are you doing?"

"Aspen," he said, gripping my hand.

It was the most formal that I had ever seen him before. It was a little strange if I was completely honest. Even when I had never spoken to him before, he had never been formal and had always treated me like we were the best of friends. But the corners of his lips turned up in an almost-smile. He was relieved to see a familiar face, I figured. I moved forward and pulled Finnick into a gentle hug. He responded by gently placing a hand in the small of my back. If I was being honest, I really did miss him.

"You're speaking to me now," Finnick said gently, pulling away from me.

"No point in staying angry with each other," I said quickly. "What's with the rope?"

"Just something to do," Finnick said blankly.

"I understand. You know, I'm allowed to go hunting now. Would you like to come with me one day?" I offered.

Maybe getting out and doing something would be good for him. "Sure," Finnick said.

"It'll be fun," I goaded.

He had never seemed so out of it and careless. "Why are we meeting here?" Finnick asked suddenly.

"I told Coin I'd be her Mockingjay. But I made her promise to give the other Tributes immunity if the rebels won. In public, so there are plenty of witnesses," I said.

"Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she'll say something that could be construed as traitorous without knowing it," Finnick said.

My heart lodged in my throat. Annie. Uh-oh. Totally forgot her. Or did I? I had been so ecstatic and so panicked about ensuring to get Cato out of the Capitol's hands that I couldn't remember who else I had mentioned. I didn't even knew if Coin had understood what I had meant about her. I remembered mentioning Annie to Coin, but Annie wasn't a Tribute. She might have just nodded blankly. Did Coin even know about her? I was going to have to make sure that someone understood what I had meant.

"Don't worry, I took care of it," I told Finnick reassuringly.

Giving Finnick's hand a squeeze, I turned on my heel and marched straight up the stairs. Which turned out to be a very hard task with the concussion and lingering effects of the electrocution. I was almost embarrassed at how weak I was. But I managed to head straight for the podium at the front of the room. I had to pass by Cato's family, letting them know that I was on a mission and would see them soon. They wished me luck. Coin, who was glancing over her statement, raised her eyebrows at me.

"Did you add Annie Cresta to the immunity list?" I asked.

Coin frowned slightly. "Who's that?"

"She's Finnick Odair's..." What? I didn't really know what to call her. Even away from the Capitol's eyes, who was she? "She's Finnick's friend. From District 4. Another Victor. She was arrested and taken to the Capitol when the arena blew up."

"Oh, the mad girl. That's not really necessary. We don't make a habit of punishing anyone that frail," Coin said.

Immediately I started to bristle. What the hell was she talking about? They didn't punish anyone that frail. I thought of the scene that I walked in on this morning. Of Octavia huddled against the wall. Of Venia and Flavius barely being able to look at me. Of how Coin and I must have had vastly different definitions of frailty. Or perhaps it was all because they were from the Capitol. Maybe being from there automatically made you immune to being frail in Coin's eyes.

But I only said, "No? Then it shouldn't be a problem to add Annie."

"All right," Coin said, penciling in Annie's name. So she hadn't been on the list before... "Do you want to be up here with me for the announcement?" I shook my head. "I didn't think so. Better hurry and lose yourself in the crowd. I'm about to begin."

Nodding at her briefly, I turned and practically sprinted away. I didn't want to be right up in their sight. That would have been a terrible thing to do. I wanted to hide at the back of the Collective and make sure that I could run if there was a mob that was going to be planning on attacking me because I was demanding for Coin to save Cato. I made my way back to Finnick, Prim, and Katniss. They all placed their hands on me, keeping me calm for the announcement.

"Good afternoon," Coin started, silencing any conversations. "Thank you for interrupting your schedules. They have already been adjusted to compensate for the delay."

"I hardly ever see children around here," I whispered to Prim, spotting only a few around.

"Please, check in with your unit supervisors when you resume work," Coin continued.

"A lot of them were lost in an epidemic a few years ago. Coin lost her family, too. Daughter and a husband," Prim said.

"I didn't know that," I said, surprised.

Although I supposed it was why she was so nasty about everything. She was still mourning. "I have an announcement for the citizens of Thirteen, and our welcome guests from Twelve and Two. Aspen Antaeus has consented to be the face of our cause to help unite the districts against the Capitol," Coin said.

She was silent long enough for everyone to celebrate what she had just said. I tried to place a smile on my face. I had to pretend that things were okay. I had to pretend for a moment that I hadn't made a deal that would likely make people want to turn away from me again. There was a long period of applause and I noticed that people on all sides of me were sending me happy looks. I knew that they would only be happy with me for so much longer.

"In exchange, I have promised several concessions," Coin continued. "First, we'll assess all opportunities for the extraction of the Victors held hostage in the Capitol. Cato Hadley, Johanna Mason..."

There was a large noise of discontent from the crowd. Coin paused long enough for everyone to complain about why that was a terrible idea. And it might have been. There was a good chance that we could lose a number of soldiers attempting to extract just a few people. But those people - one of them, at least - meant the world to me. I had to know that Cato was alive. I needed him back here. But I was one of the only people who wanted him back. The crowd was not happy, just as I was expecting.

"... and Annie Cresta. Once freed, they will be granted full pardon for any and all crimes committed against the rebel cause."

The new noise of anger wasn't something that surprised me in even the slightest. I could have never said that District 13 weren't passionate about those things that they believed in. They definitely let me know just how much they hated me and what I had made them promise to keep Cato safe. There was an even louder sound of displeasure from the crowd. I slowly placed myself in between Katniss and Prim. I noticed Cato's family placing themselves around me.

Words were not something that were wasted in Thirteen. That was almost all that they said during the assembly. Other than the fact that it didn't matter what damage was done in the rebellion. The Victors would be pardoned. It was exactly what I was hoping for. In the rumbling of the crowd, I heard the dissent. I supposed that no one doubted that I would want to be the Mockingjay. So naming a price - one that spared possible enemies - angered them. I stood indifferent to the hostile looks thrown my way.

It wasn't like I wasn't used to looks like that before. I was more than used to them. They had been thrown my way since I had first arrived in the Capitol over a year ago. And they had been thrown all around District 12 before that. Coin allowed a few moments of unrest, and then continued in her brisk fashion. I watched her hair blankly for a moment. But just for a moment. Because now the words coming out of her mouth were news to me.

"But in return for this unprecedented request, Soldier Antaeus has promised to devote herself to our cause. It follows that any deviance from her mission, in either motive or deed, will be viewed as a break in this agreement. The immunity would be terminated and the fate of the four Victors determined by the law of District Thirteen. As would her own. Thank you for your attention. Please, resume your daily schedules," Coin finished.

Everyone started moving around to head back to their own jobs. A number of nasty looks were thrown my way. But Finnick, Prim, Katniss, and Cato's family stayed with me in the center of the Collective. Because we all knew what her words genuinely meant. In other words, if I stepped out of line, we were all dead.

A/N: Here's the newest chapter. I'm looking forward to my next chapter, seeing as it will mark Haymitch's return to the series! I have missed him so. Thank you for the follows and favorites! Please review! Until next time -A

xLaBellaVita: I'm so glad that you're still reading Aspen's story! I know that it's been a long time lol. I hope that this one didn't take too long to get out :) I'm so glad that you love how long the chapters are! I think I'm physically incapable of writing short chapters.

Guest: I'm so glad that you really like this story! I'm so excited to be finally getting towards the end of Aspen's story. I've been so happy with this story for a long time. I know, I miss Haymitch, too. But Aspen needs to be angry and bitter with him for a while. He's coming back in the next chapter, but it will be only at the very end and very briefly. Not to worry, we'll see more of him and their healing with each other over the next few chapters. I hope you liked this one!

melliemoo: Yes, the Mockingjay has finally lifted her wings! And I'm very happy that she has. She's still going to be down in the dumps for a while - and definitely intermittently throughout the story - but for right now she's on an upswing. I hope that you liked this one!