His head was made of lead and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to lift it. He felt his stomach turn as the distinct smell of dried vomit wafted up his nostrils. He couldn't open his eyes either… a warm bright light was shining on his face. He thought it might be the sun.
Eventually he squinted one eye open and, ignoring the protest from his brain, noticed that he was indeed lying in a pool of sunlight streaming through a nearby window. He was also lying inches from a puddle of sick; spread eagled on his stomach on the floor… completely naked!
"What…" he tried to speak but his mouth was too dry and a small amount of bile seemed to rise up out of his stomach making him sputter, which did nothing to ease the pounding in his head.
...
"Luke?" Noah yelled as he rushed through the front door. "I'm here! Are you ready? I'm so late and the cab will…" And all thoughts flew from his mind, his legs turning to jelly, as Luke wandered into the lounge dashingly dressed in a black tuxedo, elegantly offset with a white shirt collar and powder grey waistcoat.
There was a long stretch of time when Noah stood staring, completely speechless.
"Are you going to stand there with your tongue hanging out all night, or are you going to shower and change for your big event?"
Luke's suave smile left Noah weak at the knees and he couldn't help but hurry over to grab at him, eyes scanning every inch of him, "You look… WOW!"
He bent Luke slightly back and kissed him intensely on the lips, coming up for air to say, "You have got to be the most sexy man on the planet!" before pushing him back up against the wall, one hand sneaking under the open jacket to find the warm hollow of his lower back, while the other gripped Luke's hand to the wall. "How the hell do you expect me to concentrate all night, with you looking like this?"
The temperature of the room seemed to have hit level highs and Noah was on the verge of losing himself entirely in the stylish gentleman before him, when said gentleman wriggled from his grasp to say, "Noah? Time?"
And he snapped out of it enough to remember he was already late, "Right! Yes! Damn! Okay!" He stole one more quick kiss, before rushing off towards the bedroom, Luke smiling after him.
...
He must have lain there awake for an hour or two before he allowed himself the use of a few brain cells to wonder where he was. Slowly, tentatively, he rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling, the swirling patterns confirming that this was definitely not his apartment.
He tried to remember what had happened the night before, but his mind drew a complete blank. He remembered returning home, and then… he was… he thought about… Luke…
And he caught himself before the bile turned to vomit, as his heart shook in his chest.
...
The cast and crew of Noah's movie filled up half of the restaurant that Melanie had booked for the wrap party. Women moved amongst the tuxedos in a magnificent swirl of dark and light, cotton and silk; and amicable conversation blended together with the subtle rock tunes being played throughout. The mood was one of good humour and relief that filming was finally completed and the editing stage would soon begin. As Luke and Noah approached the group everybody erupted in a loud round of applause, shouting their congratulations while several individuals stepped forward to slap Noah fondly on his back.
Holding Luke's hand Noah smiled gratefully at them all and finally held up his other hand to ask for quiet, "Please, please! Really!" he waited a few minutes for further quiet and then said, "Welcome, everyone, to this evening that we thought might never come!" a few light laughs of agreement could be heard in the crowd, "What a bitter-sweet occasion this is because, as we celebrate filming our final scenes, we must also say goodbye to many of our actors and crew. But they leave us in good shape, having helped lay the very foundations that will assist in making this film a success."
There was an appreciative murmur of agreement from the crowd, many of whom had begun to tear at Noah's words.
"We have become more than just a place of work. We're a family… a community and together we have managed to deal with all the slings and arrows that have assailed us during this whole process, and it has been an honour to work with each and every one of you. Making this film has been a dream of mine my whole life and I could never find the words that would even begin to describe my gratitude to you for giving me the chance!
As well as thanking you I'd just like to take a moment to thank this person standing on my right…" And Noah looked directly at a shocked Luke, "Luke, thank you so much for just being here! And only you know what that REALLY means!" He swallowed and spent some time simply staring at him. Luke, recovering, smiled tenderly at him.
"So…" and his attention returned to the people around them as he cleared his throat, "… so, although we say goodbye to many of you tonight, we look forward to being reunited at the premier! I hope you all have a fantastic time tonight! Thank you! Now go and party!"
The round of applause was deafening! Luke could hardly contain the pride he had for Noah. He had come such a long way from the word shy boy he had met years ago in a small television studio in Illinois.
...
He had been drinking in the bar! So this is what a real hangover felt like! Wow but it was bad! He couldn't believe there were people that did this on a regular basis. He had been drunk before but never like this. He had never been the typical frat boy type… and of course when he was with Luke…
There it was again! One word to knife him right in the chest every time! God but it hurt! And he spent a few moments pushing the feelings back down, deep inside of him, hoping that this time, maybe, they might stay there…
...
Of course Noah was the most popular guy in the room and everybody wanted a moment with him. To his credit, Noah tried as much as he could to involve Luke in the many conversations, but eventually Luke decided to take a wander around on his own. He met and spoke with a few of Noah's work colleagues, gaining insight into Noah's life over the past year. He was saddened slightly, as he realised just how much of it he had missed out on.
Just as he was musing on this he felt two arms hug his waist from behind, moving him side to side in time with the music, and a smooth voice whispered in his ear, "Want to dance?"
"With you… always…" and he turned into Noah's arms, his belly rocking with flutters as he stared into the deep blue sea of Noah's eyes, so filled with wonder and love for him. Yes! For HIM! Noah Mayor loved Luke Snyder! And the thought caused a huge smile to cross his lips as they swayed slowly together.
"Have I told you lately how absolutely in love with you I am?" Luke asked.
"Yes, but you can tell me some more!"
"You're so amazing, you know? I'm so proud of you!"
Noah's eyes were wet when he said, "I meant it… I'm so grateful that you're here! That you gave me another chance! I feel like I'm just the most blessed person in the world!" And they both leaned into a kiss, Luke feeling Noah smile as they did so. Noah's tongue touched his mouth in delicate invitation, and Luke bit his lower lip gently, in answer. "Do you think you can stay awake tonight?"
"As long as it takes," Luke assured him, "But hurry, okay?"
Noah flashed Luke the most incredible smile as he walked off, stunning in his tuxedo, to complete his rounds; making Luke's core shake with excitement for what was to come when they finally made it home that night.
...
He sat up carefully and rested his forehead on his knees, hugging them in for a while, waiting for the wave of pain in his head to subside enough for him to make his next big movement. His entire body ached. Every part of him. He almost laughed at what a physical and emotional wreck he had become. It was almost funny! "That will teach you for opening up Mayor! That will teach you for thinking you could love Lu…"
And again the crunching pain in his gut!
As a distraction he looked around at the lounge he didn't recognise, "Where am I?"
...
The crowd had thinned out, but not by enough to allow Noah the opportunity to leave and by midnight Luke was really starting to feel it! His day at Grimaldi Shipping had been a harsh one. He was still trying to pick up on the ins and outs of the LA style work environment, so different from Oakdale. He kept trying to stop yawns from escaping his mouth until, eventually, not wanting Noah's workmates to think he was bored, he decided to head outside for some fresh night air.
It happened as he walked through the bar area of the restaurant. To say that his heart hammered in his ears was an understatement for what he felt at that moment! The sight before him burned a hole through his retinas and he felt a strange prickle at the roots of his hair. He immediately, desperately tried to find another explanation for what he was seeing but he could only come to one agonising conclusion. Within seconds his body turned ice cold and he had a moment of rising panic, leaving him buffeted by a strong emotion he'd never felt before… one he never wanted to feel ever again!
He was only faintly aware of the young man who brushed past him on his way back to the bar, but by some grace he still had enough awareness about him to block his path and whisper the terrible information into his ear. The boy stared at him, and seeing the truth, walked back the way he had come.
He jumped as Noah came up from behind him and laughed, "Sorry! I really should stop doing that to you! Are you ready to go home?"
Luke wanted to speak, he knew he should. He wanted to say "Yes, let's go home." And he wanted to get out of there as fast as possible before he made a scene, but he was glued!
Noah was too busy talking to a young woman who had distracted him to notice Luke's demeanour but just in that moment, Oliver stepped forward to say, "Hi Noah. Sorry to interrupt. I didn't want to leave without saying congrats… You deserve it! You've worked really hard on this."
Noah turned to him and smiled, his arm still around Luke's shoulder, "Thanks Oliver, um, it's really kind of you." And then remembering himself he said, "Oh, sorry, Oliver this is my boyfriend, Luke."
"Hi Luke, nice to meet you." And Oliver smiled and held out his hand for Luke to shake, but Luke stood frozen, glaring at him, unresponsive. There was a confused silence between the three men as well as from those who were in close enough proximity to notice the way Luke so blatantly blanked Oliver.
"Luke?" Noah said in an expectant tone that demanded a reaction… that demanded he shake the man's hand immediately.
But Luke didn't move. He couldn't move.
"Um…" Oliver said into the awkward silence as he lowered his hand. People around them were staring and whispering amongst themselves. "Um, anyway Noah, like I said… ah… congrats!" and he walked away from them.
Luke still didn't react as Noah grabbed his elbow and dragged him through the curious eyes of his work colleagues and into the privacy of the men's room. All Luke could hear was the loud and awful click his brain had made the moment that giant puzzle piece, the missing piece, had fallen in slow motion from the sky to fit mockingly into place… suddenly revealing every horrific detail… suddenly making everything so sickeningly clear.
He had the sense that Noah was angry with him, was yelling at him, but he couldn't hear a word. His mind was utterly jammed, like a broken record, on what he had seen only a few moments before. The blood roared in his ears and he could feel his entire body slowly covering in a thin veil of sweat. He struggled to breathe and he thought he should sit down before he fell, but he felt immovable. He couldn't keep his eyes off Noah, they followed him around the room as Noah furiously gesticulated at him and marched back and forth, they watched him, guarded him, all the while knowing they could never protect him from this…