He had passed out behind a brown leather couch, the back of which he now used to pull himself up. He leaned over it for a moment, trying to catch his breath, keeping his eyes tightly closed to minimise the hammering pain. When he thought it was safe, he opened them and, as they focused, was greeted by the vision of a dark haired man, lying asleep across the cushions… undeniably naked.
...
When work first began on the film, there had been plenty of wild speculation over their quiet but firm Director's sexuality. He never gave anything away and he never flirted with anybody either, male or female. He was the perfect professional.
One thing was clear though, every gay guy and every straight girl in the studio that wasn't already married or attached wanted him… and perhaps a few that were attached dreamed of having him. He was gorgeous! And not in the run of the mill boy next door kind of way! He was the dark and broody type! His favourite! His mouth would water at just the thought of him!
So of course Noah Mayor had become a bit of a conquest… the golden prize so to speak… the crown jewel!
Finally at one staff party, after Jenny plied Noah with five bottles of beer and made her move, they discovered the delectable bit of news that he was indeed gay. He remembered almost punching the air with joy! So now, the girls left out of the game disappointed and defeated, the fight was just amongst the men!
Cracking the outer shell of Noah Mayor wasn't going to be easy, but the idea of having him and then rubbing everybody else's faces in it, was just too juicy to resist. He was ready to be patient and take his time but, as it turned out, fate was shining down on him and, while on a usual night out on the prowl, he spotted the Director, alone at a bar, downing several shots of tequila in one go! The Director had issues! Who knew?
Already on his own way down to oblivion, it didn't take much for Oliver to push him a little further along and, once Noah was ripe for the picking, to take him home.
And oh what a night! Of all his conquests this was by far his favourite. The man was like a god! Seriously! His body was firm and muscular, like an Olympic swimmer, perfect! He had simply savoured the guy all night! He remembered not wanting to sleep, not wanting it to end! But eventually the vodka took over and he passed out on the couch. When he woke up, the beautiful creature was gone.
Of course he waltzed into work with such a spring in his step, that it was immediately noticed by the usual gang of guilty gossipers. He announced proudly that he had bagged the Director!
The reaction was one of pure scepticism. "Where's the proof?" they had asked. But he didn't need any because, at just that moment, Noah walked past, and the look of embarrassment on his face was all the proof they needed.
Oh yes! Oliver Deagostino was KING!
But then, after lapping up the initial praise and congratulations from his work mates, Oliver began to get annoyed at the complete lack of acknowledgement from the man himself. The guy just carried on… pretended… like nothing had happened at all!
And now! Out of nowhere… this other man! This Luke! And it wouldn't do… it definitely wouldn't do!
Because Oliver wanted more!
...
It took him just a second to recognise his colleague, another to notice the coffee table strewn with vodka bottles and condoms, and just one more to immediately draw the only awful conclusion he could, "Shit!"
Suddenly he was wide awake! "Shit!" And be backed up away from the couch. His heart was in his mouth! He looked around for escape but then felt terribly nauseas and so tried every door in the place until he found the bathroom. He leaned over the sink and gagged but nothing came up.
He stood panting and staring at the plug hole for a few minutes, gripping the sink, whispering, "What have I done? What have I done?"
...
No words were spoken as the cab drove them from the restaurant to the house. Luke did nothing. Said nothing. And it just served to infuriate Noah even more. If Luke, of all people, had zero to say for himself… for his behaviour… then...
As the cab pulled up outside the house Noah turned to face Luke and said, "So? Nothing to say? Nothing at all?"
Nothing.
Noah slammed the car door, stormed into the house and threw his keys across the room in rage. Luke shuffled in behind, closing the door softly. Noah was just about to lay into him again when Luke finally spoke in a broken whisper, holding back tears, "I'm so sorry…" The words seemed to catch in his throat.
"YES! You've said that before, remember? Over and Over! I thought we sorted this? How could you do this? You embarrassed me in front of EVERYBODY Luke! My WORK colleagues! I've already told you why I slept with Oliver!" He couldn't believe it! The frustration boiled up inside of him. Every time he thought Luke had reigned in his unreasonable levels of jealousy…
"You never slept with Oliver, Noah…" Luke struggled to get the words out.
"Wha…?" He was stopped dead mid-tirade to stare at Luke confused.
"You never slept with him…" The words were almost a whisper but the anxiety behind them seemed to echo around the room.
"Yes Luke. I did! I told you I did!" He stated this confidently, but Luke's expression, the tone of his voice, was affecting something deep inside him… something strange… something he felt he should fight against... like a light switch in a darkened room, filled with horrors he didn't want to see…
"You never slept with Oliver, Noah, and I think…" He stopped for a second, his face pained, "I think you know that… I think you may always have known…you just…"
"No… no…" he shook his head with conviction, unsure of why he felt the overwhelming need to take a step back, but as he did he tripped slightly on the edge of the rug and had to grab hold of the back of a chair to steady himself. But his eyes remained fixed on Luke. He was shivering all of a sudden. Why? Why was he shivering?
"You never slept with Oliver… he…"
"NO!" Something made him scream the word and he bolted down the passage and into the bathroom. He slammed the door and locked it quickly standing there staring wide eyed at it, and then slowly backing away from it as though it were a rabid dog.
He was running… he knew he was running but he didn't care! He was going to run from this one, run! As fast and as far as he could…
He heard as Luke flattened himself against the other side of the door. "Noah… it's going to be okay… It's not your fault…"
"Go away! Please!" His throat was completely constricted as he begged and he struggled to draw in air, revelation seeping through him.
"Open the door, baby."
The pain in Luke's voice sent pins through Noah's chest. He shook his head from side to side. This wasn't happening! This wasn't happening! Not now! Not when everything was so perfect. The tears streamed down his cheeks, "Please Luke." He begged. "Please don't make me do this…" And he made loud wheezing sounds as he dropped on all fours to the cold tiled floor, trying to draw in oxygen.
He didn't hear the door break open, but suddenly Luke was holding a paper bag over his mouth, "That's it, that's it… Just get your breath back… slowly…slowly…" Luke was holding back sobs of his own, his breath shuddering as Noah felt his hand on the back of his head smoothing the black hair over and over.
Eventually Noah fell back so that he was leaning up against the side of the bath. He sat there for a while, Luke's hand still gently stroking his hair. Finally, as he looked up there was no more denying it, he read the devastating truth in Luke's tearful brown eyes and promptly keeled forward to vomit into the toilet.
...
He didn't know what kind of sex he had had with this other man, he couldn't remember any of it, but he was sure of one thing… it had been rough! He had bled, he was sore and there were bruises all over his body. He looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror.
He had only ever slept with one man before and that was Luke. A single tear dropped down his cheek. ("Now you don't even have THAT anymore!") And with a guy who shared his first name with Reid's last, no less! How poetic was that! God, but fate really was having a field day with him!
"You idiot!" he yelled at the face in the mirror and then burst into hysterical laughter, falling back onto the floor in a mad mix of laughs and sobs that quickly turned into strangled gasps.
It didn't take long for him to throw up over the side of the bath.
"God Noah! Would you look at yourself? No wonder Luke dumped your sorry ass!" And then he piled a ton of revulsion on his own soul for even daring to think about Luke, all pure and perfect, in this ugly, disgusting situation.
Suddenly he felt exceptionally dirty… filthy. He scrambled into the shower and turned on the hot tap, not caring as the water burnt his skin red… He deserved it! He had never hated himself more than he did at that moment, and he slid down to the shower floor, water mingling with tears as he wept.
...
During the following hour and a half Luke could only describe Noah's state as catatonic. He didn't react as Luke carefully removed his tuxedo jacket, his waistcoat, his tie, and then finally undid the buttons on his shirt and slipped the cotton from his shoulders. Surprisingly he did sip down the water Luke held up to his lips, but other than that he continued to stare straight ahead of him as he sat, leaning up against the bathroom wall, his head resting on the cooling side of the sink.
His arms remained at his sides as Luke used a cool washcloth to wipe his lips and face, then his neck and torso. Luke knew he couldn't wash away the scars, and he wasn't sure whether he was completing the task for his sake or for Noah's, but it felt comforting… like a ritual and a right.
Eventually Luke leaned down to place an arm under his, pulling him up so that Noah tilted into him. Gently he walked the shell shocked man to their bedroom, sat him on the side of the bed and bent to take off each shoe and sock from his feet, before lifting him back up to standing so that he could remove his trousers. Noah looked back at the bed and it seemed to call him because, as soon as Luke was done, he lowered himself down into it and pulled the sheet up to cover his shoulders.
Luke sat by the side of the bed and watched as the lids to Noah's unseeing eyes slowly but surely closed and he finally fell asleep. Only then did Luke leave the house, stumbling quickly to the bottom of their dark back garden where, falling to his knees on the dew soaked grass, he let out the screams he had been holding back since that moment in the bar.
"Jesus…" he shuddered through shivering lips as soon as the final scream left him, and hugging his arms around himself he cried all the tears he held inside for the man he loved more than his own life.
...
Oliver was no longer a human form to Noah's hazy brain. Oliver had become just a shape... a shadow… as he stalked over to him.
Occasionally his mind would clear slightly but his vision was foggy, like it had been just after the brain surgery. He was shirtless and he had no idea why or how. He was backing awkwardly away from Oliver. "No… No, okay? I don't want to!"
He felt completely disoriented and confused and he was no longer sure whether his words made sense… his tongue seemed to have swelled twenty times its usual size and his stomach burned in pain. Fear gripped him as he felt control slipping through his fingers.
He had little feeling left in his legs and so toppled like a stack of cards blown over by the wind, as Oliver pushed him down. He landed hard behind the couch and winced with pain as his head knocked back onto the hardwood floor.
"You're going to be my favourite," slurred Oliver as he took a swig from the vodka bottle, "I can just feel it!" And he wiped the drops from his mouth with the back of his arm. Oliver's eyes were clouded over with lust, drunk on power as he straddled his legs either side of a semi-conscious Noah, clumsily removing his own shirt and fumbling with his belt buckle.
As he bent down Noah tried to fight him away but the blood in his body felt thick and heavy, weighing down his arms… and Oliver easily removed the remainder of Noah's clothing before effortlessly rolling him over.
Somehow Noah scrabbled onto his hands and feet but he was promptly flattened when Oliver pressed a foot down on his back, only releasing it as he knelt, so that he could sit on the back of Noah's thighs and, bending over, lick his tongue all the way up the base of Noah's spine.
"Mmm, nice!" The smile in his voice caused Noah to gag and he threw up, "Don't worry about it, honey… I like things dirty!"
"No! Stop!" Despite being trapped within a confused blur, Noah fought Oliver throughout the night with every tiny speck of strength he had left… but something was growing inside of him, stronger and stronger, holding him back, pulling him under and eventually he couldn't struggle anymore, and he just lay there paralysed while Oliver played… until gratefully, the world went dark.
...
The nightmare that woke Noah put him in the worst state of terror Luke had ever seen. Now that his conscious mind had caught up with his unconscious mind it was easy for the memories to find the door and open it. Noah sat with his back pressed up against the headboard, eyes wide, breathing hard and emitting small whimpers; each one killing Luke a little more. He would not allow Luke near him, batting his hands away and muttering incoherently. Luke was five minutes away from calling 911, when Noah finally quieted and then later whispered, almost like a plea, "Luke?"
Luke was immediately by his side on the bed, gratefully drawing a shaky Noah into his arms so that the back of Noah's head rested on his chest. Luke tried not to let him feel the terror threatening to consume him as he asked, "Did you remember?"
Noah nodded and then after a few minutes almost breathlessly said, "There were bruises on my wrists…"
"What?"
"When I woke up that morning… they were like… they were… fingers…"
Horrified Luke softly kissed the wrist on each of Noah's hands.
"How did you know?" Noah asked quietly.
Luke took a deep breath through his nose, "I saw him at the bar… I saw him put powder in some guys drink."
Noah closed his eyes.
"And Noah…" he shook his head as he remembered that moment, "… I knew instantly. It all made sense… the nightmares… and… I'm so sorry…" And he couldn't stop the flood then.
Noah opened his eyes and leaned up to put a kiss on the side of Luke's head, holding his lips there as he brought his hands up to hug Luke's head into him. And they rocked silently back and forth together.