Jason grimaced as the truck lurched beneath him, sending the cold metal wheel well he was resting against into his bruised lower spine. Again. Would it kill this guy to try and avoid the potholes instead of purposefully seeking them out? He glared into the dingy rear window, but could barely see Olly's blond head through the grime. They'd been in the back of this man's small truck for ages, and Jason was losing his mind. At least it was overcast. He couldn't imagine how unpleasant it would be if they had to deal with the sun beating down on them along with everything else they had to endure in this old rust bucket. He thought of the Regalia with longing, with its comfortable leather seats and air conditioning.
For the hundredth time, he tried in vain to tame the flyaway hairs that insisted on escaping from his hair tie in the buffeting winds, falling into his eyes and sticking to his forehead. Noctis had long given up trying to deal with his, summoning a hairclip of all things from his armiger and just pulling it all back. Jason would have laughed–the clip was purple, clearly for a girl–but Noctis' glare had shut him up quickly. The taciturn prince had then closed his eyes and somehow miraculously fallen asleep on a sack of grain as if it were the most comfortable of beds.
That man was a damn cat. Straight up. And of course he was taking up the whole bed of the truck, leaving Jason crammed against the side. Jason marveled at how he could possibly sleep through this sickening rollercoaster. With every bounce in the road, it squealed as if it would fall apart at any second. But there Noctis was, dead to the world. Jason was starting to think that if Nifelheim decided to attack them right then and there, Noctis would sleep through the whole thing.
It wasn't fair that Noctis seemed so easily able to relax despite everything. Jason could still feel the burn of anxiety deep in his gut that choked him with every exhale. It seemed that every time he tried to get his muscles to relax, he would get a flash of the images not-Prompto had shown him, the urgency he'd imposed, and it would set Jason's muscles to trembling with tension once more. It was as if the calm of that morning, that brief reprieve he'd felt when Gladio and Prompto and Ignis had sent him texts that made him smile and laugh, and even had Noctis less surely than usual, had been nothing more than a distant dream. The texts had stopped a couple of hours ago, no doubt so they could focus on their task, so there was nothing more to take his mind off what was coming.
With a huff, Jason closed his eyes and tried to relax as well, forcing his fists to unclench by thinking of something, anything else. To distract himself, he focused on the new sensations in his body, trying to make heads or tails of it. It was funny. He'd been so afraid of accepting the connection with the Crystal, thinking it evil, fearing the power over Noctis it would give him, that it was surprisingly...anticlimactic when he'd finally gotten it. Really, it didn't feel like much of anything after that first rush of power through his veins, that first sensation of falling from his own body, only to be pulled back into it and finding it...more. Nothing he could really pinpoint, no physical sensation he could describe. He just felt–full, he guessed. Like maybe the rush of caffeine, or that buzz after doing something stupid and coming out the other side alive, only that it seemed to take up residence within him.
Summoning as well, was another rush entirely. It was different from how he'd done it before, which hadn't felt like anything at all, things just appearing in his hands when he chose them. Now, it was as if energy gathered from somewhere behind his heart and flowed like water down through his hands, setting his fingertips tingling until the thing he desired materialized in his palm. It was gentler than the white energy, his 'Messenger' abilities, which felt like it was sucking the vitality right out of him. Jason definitely knew which energy he preferred, even if it meant dealing with the Crystal.
Power for a price, though, right? Jason already knew what the Crystal's price was from Noctis. Now he dreaded to find out what the price would be from him.
On a more pleasant note, he seemed to have developed a new 'sense' when it came to his companions. It was as if their presence had stayed with him though they continue to grow farther apart. It wasn't unlike the scent left behind on a favorite piece of clothing, or a sight or sound that emitted a sense of deja vu, a memory that one couldn't quite grasp but felt like coming home. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost distinguish their energies from each other, but it was like trying to capture smoke. The more he reached for it, the more it dispersed, settling back into a formless mist in the back of his mind. He wondered if he would be able to, with time, sense them distinctly.
Apparently it was completely different from what Noctis experienced, not that the prince was very forthcoming with his explanations. Or with anything much, really. But Jason could be patient. Every once in a while, when he managed to make him smile, or when Noctis let his guard down, Jason found that he actually kind of liked the man. A little.
Noctis had been unexpectedly cool about the whole thing, after the initial meltdown. Which Jason knew he'd deserved, with the way he'd been acting at the time. He'd been stressed, terrified of what not-Prompto had shown and done to him in his dream, but it was no excuse for the flippant disdain with which he'd dismissed what Noctis was willing to do to make Jason more capable. Guilt prickled at him even now for how selfish he'd been. And yet...Noctis had given it to him anyway.
He'd done it for Gladio, of course, and the others. Everyone. They both had, even if they both shared the same loathing over the idea. When Gladio insisted, Jason might have felt bitter about connecting himself to that evil magic rock, might have felt fear of the power–even more power, Christ, was he ever going to be human again?–or what it could mean for him and Noctis, but...in the end, he had to admit that Gladio had been right.
For a second, Jason wondered how it was that this had become his life. This strange world that had sucked him in changed his perception on pretty much everything he thought he knew, started to turn him into someone he barely even recognized anymore. He never thought he would be so involved with changing the fates of people he barely knew and saving a world that wasn't even his. He had to wonder; if he'd been in his own world and had the power he had now to, say, stop the first World War, would he? Would he have fallen in love with a dashing femme fatale instead of the slight sharpshooter with the dazzling smile and dangerous secrets, followed her to the ends of the earth?
Jason tried to imagine it, but shivered as the memory of large, masculine hands wrapped around his instead, of earnest worry buried in stern golden eyes, massive chest against his own, hard, warm, safe–No, nope, not thinking about that right now. Not unless he wanted to give himself a heart attack. It was too much, too soon, and Jason could not process the odd electricity between Gladio and himself, not when he hadn't even come to terms with liking Prompto yet. So he shoved it back, repressed it in the little box behind his navel along with the trembling butterflies until he could deal with it. Those thoughts were better left when he wasn't on the brink of possibly the most dangerous thing anyone had ever done, ever. Another wave of anxiety had him thinking that maybe he wasn't so good at this whole distracting himself thing.
He opened his eyes, blinking in the bright light of day and finding Noctis still passed out cold at his feet, seeming unperturbed by the wind pulling at his clothes and hair. Jason tilted his head, observing him idly now that he finally had the chance without fear of reprimand. Noctis was facing him now, head lolled to the side and hair clip exposing more of his face than Jason could recall seeing until he's much older. He looked. Young, with his smooth, pale complexion and totally relaxed visage. Jason smirked and thought he looked better this way, dumb purple clip aside, without all that hair hiding his surprisingly fine features. Maybe he should say something–
No. It wasn't any of his business what Noctis decided to do with his stupid hair. And it wasn't like advice from Jason of all people would be welcomed anyway. Still, that hair clip was kind of silly. Might be good for a laugh...Jason shifted, sliding his hand into his back pocket, wincing a little at the twinge in his numb backside, and pulled out Gladio's phone. Navigating it a little clumsily, he located the photo app and snapped a quick picture. For several seconds he just stared at it, debating whether he should send it to the guys. He bet they'd get a kick out of it, at the very least. The small smile the thought brought him was tinged with bitterness as he stared, though. Rather than being funny like he'd intended, it was actually a really nice shot; Noctis could be a model if he wanted to. Jason could kind of see why Prompto chose him…
"You're lucky, y'know," Jason said quietly to the little miniature Noctis on his screen. It was almost easier to talk to him this way than in real life, when he did nothing but scowl at Jason with suspicion or indifference. Jason sighed and almost deleted the photo, finger hovering over the red button for a second before he shrugged and hit save instead. It really was a nice shot...
"Who's lucky?" Noctis asked suddenly, and Jason jumped, whipping the phone behind his back guiltily to face the suddenly wide awake prince, cold blues peering up at Jason beneath dark lashes. All of a sudden, Jason realized what he just did–taking a picture of the slumbering man–might be construed as a little creepy.
Noctis narrowed his eyes, scowl that had been absent in his sleep firmly back in place. Jason laughed awkwardly. "Aaah, nothing! Just thinking out loud." He cleared his throat. "How long have you been awake?"
Noctis yawned widely. "I dunno, like, a minute. Are we close yet?"
Jason shrugged, a little relieved that Noctis hadn't seemed to notice anything. As casually as he could, he slipped the phone back into his pocket and pulled up the map with a blink. The world took on a blue tint for a second, but before he could focus a hand clamped over his eyes, jolting him back to reality. "What the–ow!" Jason smacked Noctis' hand away to find the prince grimacing at him.
"You gotta stop doing that where anyone can see you, dumbass. We're trying to lay low, remember?"
"Alright, alright! Jeez, you didn't have to hit me," Jason complained, rubbing at the smarting bridge of his nose. Noctis snorted, pulling out his own phone.
"We've been in this piece of junk for three hours. We're still an hour away," Noctis grumbled. The car jolted harshly for the hundredth time, causing both men to grunt in discomfort, the sound drowned out by the squeaking of the rusted axles.
"I dunno how much more of this I can take." Jason stretched out his cramped legs, throwing them over Noctis' lap.
"What the hell, get off me." Noctis attempted to throw his legs off, but Jason wouldn't be swayed.
"Not a chance. You got your beauty sleep, now either budge over or deal. My legs are going numb."
With an annoyed huff, Noctis slumped back into the feed sacks. "There isn't anywhere to budge over…"
"Point."
"...Fine."
They fell into stony silence, looking determinedly anywhere but each other. Jason tried not to take it personally, remembering how they'd started to get along just that morning. Noctis was notorious for waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Or sack, as the case may be. Then again, Noctis always acted this way around Jason.
Just remember why you're doing this, Jase, he thought to himself. He was doing it for the man he loved. Jason frowned. The man who might also be the one who brought him here in the first place...But no. He didn't want to believe that.
Something caught Jason's eye above the trees and he sat up, squinting in concentration with a little thrill of adrenaline. "Costlemark Tower," he said quietly in realization, eyes widening.
"What?" Noctis asked testily, following his gaze into the forest. "...Oh."
The almost solid wall of trees that had been lining the road until now broke up, several clearings opening, revealing the crumbled remains of stone buildings rising from the ground as if built from exposed stone. They looked ancient, roughened stones scoured by centuries of wind and rain. Most of the circular structures were simply bare walls with pointed windows, their innards long lost to the ravages of time. And towering above them was a massive colosseum like structure, a shambling tower standing stories above even the tallest trees, looking somehow both seconds from collapsing entirely and sturdy enough to last another thousand years.
That...looked a lot bigger than he remembered. A tremble of trepidation settled in Jason as he gazed up at the massive building, knowing what was inside of it, the impossibility of the challenge it posed.
"Costlemark...Tower? Didn't you say that was where one of the Arms was?"
"Yeah…" Jason swallowed.
"So, what? At the top?"
"No. It's actually really deep underground."
"Huh…" Noctis stared at it consideringly before he leaned forward, jostling Jason's legs a bit, banging on the glass of the rear window. "Hey, Olly, was it? Can you stop for a sec?" he shouted.
"Wha' for?" Olly shouted back over the roar of the engine through the open window.
"Just stop!"
They couldn't hear what the man said in response, but the truck did begin to slow.
"Uh, Noctis? What are you doing exactly?" Jason said slowly, throat tightening.
"You said one of the Arms is here. Well, here we are. We should grab it on our way through." He said it like it was the simplest thing in the world like Jason was the one being ridiculous.
Jason gaped. "No, no, no, you don't understand. That tower is beyond us."
Noctis' eyebrows twitched. "Wait, hold on. This morning you said I was powerful enough to take out a God! Now you don't think I can handle whatever that tower has to dish out?"
Jason blinked. He...actually had a point. It was kind of weird that Noctis could stop Titan's punch with just his puny body and yet cave under a red giant or six. Logically, he should be able to take out the army of daemons down there in a few swings of his sword. For all he knew, Noctis could do it, even without the help of his Crownsguard.
That was like, when he was level fifty, though. But levels weren't exactly a thing anymore, were they? And besides that, who knew if the tower was exactly as he remembered it anyway…?
While Jason was lost in thought, the truck had already slowed to a complete stop. Olly kicked the driver's door open and stood, stretching until his spine popped loudly before crossing his arms and giving them a questioning look. "If you have to take a leak, best do it quick. I'd like to get there before noon."
"You can actually leave us here, Olly. Thanks for the ride," Noctis said dismissively, swinging out of the truck with eyes determinedly straight ahead. Jason's heart clenched in alarm as Noctis made to stride into the trees.
"Whoa, whoa, hold on a sec," Jason stuttered, jumping out as well and nearly stumbling on his numb legs. "Noct!"
"Wha–I can't leave you out here! There ain't a town for miles!"
Jason turned to the flabbergasted young man and held up a hand. "I agree with you completely. Please don't leave, I'll try to talk some sense into my friend."
"You'd best! This area is especially dangerous." He looked up suspiciously at the ruins. "It's cursed. You've got five minutes." He climbed back into his truck and started the engine. Jason spun on his heels to catch up to Noctis, who strode determinedly into the trees.
"Noctis, wait up! We can't take on the tower right now!" He grabbed onto Noctis' shoulder and spun him around. Noctis' scowl almost compelled Jason to snatch his hand back lest the prince bite it off.
"Why the hell not?" Noctis shrugged him off, nonplussed. "We're right here! We might not get another chance to grab it!"
Jason groaned in exasperation before speaking urgently, compelling the prince to understand what a terrible idea this was. "Listen to me. There's an army of daemons in there, and in case you haven't noticed, we're three Crownsguard short!" And Jason couldn't do it. He couldn't help Noctis through this, they would both just end up dead!
"What the hell, Jason! What happened to 'you'll take out a God, Noctis, trust me'? You can't have it both ways. Am I strong enough or aren't I?" Noctis looked a little desperate when he asked that question, eyes wide like he was seeing Jason for the first time. Jason winced. He had told him he was strong enough to take out a God. Jason knew he was, but maybe it wasn't such a good idea to give him so much confidence if it meant he would just charge into a den of daemons without thinking about it. Especially with Jason left with no choice but to follow him into his folly!
"Being strong enough isn't the issue here–"
"Then what is? Are you that scared of a fight that you'd just turn tail and run?" Noctis threw his hands in the air.
A spark of indignance lit in Jason's chest, drawing his lips tight. With a deep inhale, he pushed it down. "Finding Lunafreya has to come first. We don't have time for this." Which was true.
It was a good reason. The best reason. This could wait until they had more backup.
Noctis watched him for several seconds, lips pursed as if to say 'are you kidding me with this right now?'. There was a hardness in the set of his jaw and an enigmatic look in his eyes that Jason couldn't quite interpret, but made his stomach tremble nonetheless. It was as if Noctis could see right through him, right into his heart. Noctis' shoulders relaxed marginally. "Fine," he said eventually. "You're right. Finding Luna is the most important thing right now."
Jason took a shuddering breath, terribly relieved. That was until Noctis grabbed him roughly by the shoulder and got in his face with a hiss.
"But we're going to have to fight, Jason, and retreat isn't going to be an option. We don't have the luxury of running away anymore." There was ice in Noctis' glare, all former camaraderie they had that morning gone to the wind as he shouldered past the taller man. For several seconds, Jason could only remain standing there, staring into the distance without seeing any of it, feeling distinctly like he had just been tested and found wanting. His already tenuous confidence shattered beneath Noctis' dismissal like the thin glass barrier it was, allowing self-loathing to take its place. It was only when Olly's impatient shout called out to him that he snapped out of it.
Jason rejoined Noctis in the bed of the truck, the other man silently settling back down to sleep some more, closing his eyes without giving Jason a single glance. Jason took up his former position, legs awkwardly folded and as far out of Noctis' space as he could get them.
Great, he thought, heart sinking. Now Noctis thought he was an even bigger loser than ever before. He wasn't sure exactly why that stung so badly, but lack of understanding didn't make the ache in his chest and the burning behind his eyes any less painful.
Jason felt like a coward. Noctis was right of course. They were going to have to face a lot of things that terrified Jason before this journey was through. Jason knew that. He knew he wouldn't be able to continue to sit on the sidelines like he had been when the guys faced the hunts, the daemons, whatever. He was a part of Noctis' house now, and he'd promised to fight until the end. They would be up against all kinds of enemies and there wasn't going to be anywhere for Jason to hide, nowhere he could run when the time came to use the power he was given to protect the people he cared about. Jason folded in on himself, burying his head in his arms, suddenly overwhelmed. He wished Gladio were here. With Gladio, he had finally started to feel safe.
But even Gladio had outright told him he wouldn't be able to protect him from everything. Jason was going to have to find his own strength if he was going to survive this.
A flash of the future had him cringing deeper into his arms. He just didn't know if he could.
Against all odds, Jason somehow managed to fall asleep propped up against his knees. He woke with a jolt as the truck came to an abrupt stop before turning off the road, rattling along the bumpy ground before lurching and nearly sending Jason careening into the cabin. The engine shut off and Jason swayed drunkenly as he tried to force himself awake, limbs still vibrating from the long ride. He startled when, without a word, Noctis swung himself from the back and stalked away towards the chain link fence Jason could see a bit in the distance. Olly ambled from the cabin and leaned casually against the back of the truck next to where Jason still sat dumbfounded.
"Yer friend's a bit of a jerk, ain't he?"
Jason sighed, stretching out his long legs with a groan before climbing out himself. "Yeah, sorry about him. Thanks for the ride man, we really appreciate it." Olly raised a brow and Jason shrugged. "Well, I really appreciate it. You staying here tonight?"
"Yeah, don't really feel like drivin' all the way back. S'fine, though. I got a cousin about ten minutes from here who puts me up when I stop by."
Jason made to reach for the wallet he still hadn't returned to Ignis, thinking to pay the man for his gas at the very least, but Olly waved him away with a chuckle. "Don't even think about it. Just take out that monster so we all can get back to work, y'hear? Stay safe out there." With that, the young man jumped back into his truck and drove away, leaving Jason behind with a pit sinking in his stomach. Right. The hunt. That...didn't sound good. He wished he could remember what it was, but something told him he really didn't want to know until he absolutely had to.
Spinning on his heel, he jogged to catch up to Noctis. Just as he was approaching the chainlink fence, a very unfamiliar smell hit his nose like a brick. Ugh. It smelled like a mixture of horse and cow manure, soaked in rain and then left out in the sun to rot. That and pine chips. Lots and lots of pine chips. Shaking off the unpleasantness, he opened the gate and walked until he caught sight of a building and a couple of grain towers, the trees parting into an open field. He stopped in his tracks to take in a very, very different view from the one he remembered.
To his left about fifteen yards from the building stood a massive enclosure, a high fence about twice the height of a man, making a long line from the trees behind him to disappear over the edge of a cliff a couple hundred yards away. He couldn't see the other side and assumed it went on for a good ways into the hills. Inside of the enclosure was a continuation of the forest, the trees circled by lines of bare earth, no doubt from the many chocobo feet pounding into it day after day. The most shocking thing, however, was the massive group of about fifty birds of all colors, all huddled together, eyes wide open and staring, not making a sound. It looked like they were...waiting for something. It was eerie, like there was no sound here at all save for the constant hum of bugs and the wind. It was a far, far cry from the cheery little farm in his memories, and it was more than just the scenery that had changed. Unsettled, Jason moved on.
The rest of the post looked pretty much the same. An old building with a feed store at the front, a large grain tower sitting behind it. Umbrellaed tables lined out at the front and a few chocobos stood tied to posts, just as silent and wary as their counterparts. There weren't any people about, it seemed at first glance, until Jason spotted Noctis speaking with an old man near the building. Jason made to join them when the scene beyond the cliff caught his eye.
Jason's heart jumped up to lock the air from his lungs. The Disk of Cauthess stood in the distance like a dagger impaling the sky, glowing a fiery red still at this great distance, clear even in the overcast that shrouded the rest of the world in mist.
The sky went dark in his peripherals and Jason's perception tipped on its edge, the panic he'd been trying to suppress since he'd jolted awake that morning hitting him full force when faced with the reality of the enormous, impossible task before him–
Rough hands holding him still, a wash of red, breath burning in his throat, the feeling of too much, too much, too much –
With a gasp, Jason wrenched his gaze away, swallowing hard as vertigo took hold. Heart fluttering in his chest like a frightened bird, he turned his back on the disk, pushing down his fear so it wouldn't suffocate him. He breathed in and out slowly, shoulders trembling. Several seconds passed before he could open his eyes again, and when he did, it was without the violent images tearing at him from the inside.
Not-Prompto's mysterious warning struck with every beat of his frantic heart until it slowed back to normal, and Jason swallowed around the egg in his throat. He didn't know if he was merely reliving that awful moment in his dream, or if it was sent to him again as if the universe were saying hurry, you're running out of time like a brick to the forehead. Whatever the case, Jason could feel a nasty headache coming on along with the acrid taste of ozone in his throat. He attempted to turn back around, but ice gripped his heart at the thought, holding him still.
Somewhere out there in the cragged remains of an ancient cataclysm was Luna, fighting for her life. Alone. Beyond that... Jason paled a little before forcing himself to move and jog over to Noctis, avoiding looking up from the ground lest he loses his breakfast entirely. Now he really regretted that extra serving of pancakes.
"It's about time–" Noctis grumbled before he stopped abruptly, concern briefly lightening the gruffness in his voice. "Jason? What is it?"
Slowly, Jason shook his head, swallowing thickly. The world righted itself and the dizziness and pain passed. After a few more seconds even that was a distant dream, only the dread lingering in his limbs like a heavy weight. "Yeah, I'm okay," he assured, voice sounding weak even to his own ears. Noctis didn't look convinced, but he let it go, turning back to who couldn't be anyone else but Wiz. The old man, a bit overweight and sporting ever crinkled laugh lines, stared between the two of them quizzically.
"Well, as I was tellin' your friend here, if y'all're plannin' to stick around tonight, I've got a camper over there you can rent," he said in a friendly drawl. "Not many folks comin' around here lately, so it's as free as it can be. Also got grub if you're interested. So what'll it be, boys?"
"We need to get to the Disk of Cauthess," Noctis supplied without preamble. "We don't have a car, so we need a couple of chocobos to make the journey."
Wiz's face fell, concern tightening the wrinkles around his eyes. "I was afraid you'd say something like that. Y'see, I've been havin' trouble with a behemoth lurking around these parts. It's got the birds scared outta their wits. 'Fraid I can't help you till it's taken care of." Behemoth, behemoth...what was that again? Jason tried to remember, but he was drawing a blank. "Posted a bounty for its head, but haven't heard anythin' back from Hunter HQ, what with the recent upheaval and all..."
"We'll take care of it," Noctis volunteered immediately. He didn't look at Jason when he said it, and it was all Jason could do to stop himself from immediately protesting, Noctis' words from earlier smarting still.
Wiz's face lit up as if the clouds had parted, though the world remained stubbornly overcast. "You don't say! Well, this changes everything! Here," he shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled a wrinkled piece of paper, holding it up for them to see. "This is the beast. I can point you in the right direction."
Jason stared blankly at the distressed yellowed page as Wiz prattled on, the old man's drawl drowned out in the sudden rushing in his ears. O-oh. Right. That was what a behemoth looked like. Jason broke out into a cold sweat, heart beating as though it were racing to get as many pumps in before it was violently stopped. Uh. Yup, there were those treacherous pancakes again.
He blinked, coming to abruptly as he found both of their gazes locked on him. "Uh, what was that?" Jason muttered, embarrassed when he realized they'd been talking to him and he hadn't heard it.
"I said," Noctis began, but then paused with a quick glance up and down Jason's body. Then he started again as if abruptly switching tracks, "I said...to not wait up. I'll be back in a few hours."
Jason's jaw dropped, but Noctis was already striding away. Jason just...watched him go, mouth agape. He was going after that thing? Now? Alone?
The thought almost stirred Jason into movement, but just as suddenly panic gripped him. He remembered now. The monster they were after was a huge motherfucking monster cat. With fangs the size of his entire body, claws that could rip him to shreds and jaws that could swallow him whole. Jason stood frozen, shivers working up and down his spine. He couldn't face that. He couldn't. No, no, he would only get killed if he tried.
"You alright, son?" Wiz said with a gentle hand on Jason's shoulder. Jason jumped a foot into the air, breath catching, but calmed at the concern in the older man's face.
"A-ah. Sorry, it's just…"
"You new to this whole hunting business?"
"Yeah," Jason said thickly, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. "You could say that."
Wiz stroked his beard, squinting up at the sky. "Well, I'm no expert, but shouldn't Hunters always work in pairs?" He gave him a pointed look.
Guilt bit into Jason hard, along with a heady dose of panic. "Yeah, but. But I'm not–" Not strong enough. Not brave enough. Scared shitless.
Wiz only looked more concerned. "And your friend, can he handle himself?"
Jason choked out a laugh despite himself. "That man is the strongest, most stubborn person I know. There's nothing that can stand in his way when he gets an idea into his head." Jason truly did believe that. So why couldn't he follow him, when he knew that Noctis could defeat this monster and anything else that was stupid enough to step in his path?
Even if maybe he wasn't yet the man Jason knew he could be, he was definitely getting there. Jason could see it in his eyes ever since he'd told him the end of his story. Noctis was displaying a strength of character that Jason didn't remember seeing until the end, as if knowing what was coming had lit a fire in him that just hadn't been present before. And it was making Noctis reckless, or maybe just knew now exactly what he had to lose and was no longer going to let his fear control him.
And what was Jason? Right now, he felt nothing more than a frightened animal. He was literally watching Noctis walk away from him into danger after he'd promised to stick by his side and fight till the end. Yet the second that real danger reared its ugly head, Jason had balked. No wonder Noctis was looking at him with more chill than he had since the beginning. Especially after all of that faith he'd shown for Noctis and his abilities, only to immediately contradict it the second it was tested. He'd told Noctis he could take on anything, reassured him that he was strong only to immediately tell him that he wasn't because of Jason's own pathetic hang-ups.
God, he was such an idiot. But still, his feet didn't move. How could he help Noctis face what was coming if he was too scared to help him take out an oversized cat?
"You know," Wiz said slowly, a knowing glint in his eye. "It's okay to be afraid." Jason shook his head, taking in Wiz' wizened face through his frustratingly burring vision. Wiz smiled reassuringly. "I won't pretend to know what it is you boys have gone through, but it seems to me you don't have a lot of faith in yourself."
Jason scoffed, and suddenly the words wouldn't stop, fears he'd been holding back spilling out of him in the face of the man's guileless kindness. "Because I'm a coward. I'm surrounded by all these brave, heroic, selfless people who put themselves in constant danger every day to protect what matters, yet all I want to do is run and hide because I'm not like them. I'm not like Noctis. "
And Gladio and Ignis and Prompto and Cor and Cindy–. It was clear to Jason, now that he was faced with the challenges ahead, that all of his speeches about wanting to help because it was the right thing, about loving Prompto enough to want to protect him–it had all just been lip service till this point. Finally faced with the possibilities not-Prompto had shown him, he didn't want to fight giant insane monsters, didn't want to fight Gods and daemons and evil clones and mysterious possessing spirits. He wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. And he was enough of a weakling as to let Noctis lose all respect for him, let him walk away without him.
He realized with a cold splash of clarity that he wanted that respect. He wanted it badly, had from the start. That was why it hurt so much every time Noctis dismissed him, why it had stung so badly when Noctis had looked at him like he wasn't worth the soot on his shoes. It hurt not because he was jealous, but because he admired him.
And just as soon as he'd had that thought, the futility of it all hit him hard. How do you gain the respect of a man who gets back up no matter what the world throws at him and fights to his dying breath? One whose strength isn't just defined by fate or some Crystal's power, but his willingness to throw away everything for those he loves when all Jason wanted to do was roll over and leave it to someone else?
It's funny, he thought with a sinking heart, that it was only when he'd just realized how much he wanted Noctis to think of him as an equal that he lost any chance of getting it, maybe forever.
"Do you think that your friend thinks you're a coward?"
Jason laughed derisively. "How could he not? Look at me! I'm so scared that I'm letting him walk into danger by himself, even after I promised I would have his back no matter what! Who does that? He has every right to think the worst of me. He has from the start." And that made it worse, somehow. Noctis had never trusted him. Now, Jason was proving him right, and Noctis clearly thought it was better to just leave his stupid dead weight behind.
Wiz scratched at his face, eyes fixed on some point beyond Jason's shoulder. "Well, that's interesting, because that man you seem to admire so much? He sure is moving mighty slow for someone who thinks he's on his own."
Jason's head snapped up and whipped around to scan the treeline rapidly, instantly spotting something he didn't think he'd see in a million years. Noctis had his back to them, hands shoved deep into his pockets and black combat boots planted firmly into the dirt, heel ticking impatiently. Not moving. Almost like…
"He's waiting for me," Jason breathed, bewildered. "Why? I thought…"
Wiz slapped a heavy hand on Jason's shoulder, grinning broadly like Jason was being obtuse. "He's waiting for you because he knows you'll follow. Now go on, git. Sun's a'waistin'." With a final wink, the old man turned his back and ambled to comfort his beloved chocobos, leaving a gawking young man in his wake.
Jason took one step. Then another. And another, till he was outright running to catch up to Noctis, slightly out of breath as he skidded to a stop at his side. Noctis regarded him with a lifted brow as if to say 'what took you so long' and Jason had to laugh, the bubble of mirth surprising him as it came unbidden. Because Noctis didn't look surprised in the least, as if he knew Jason would follow. That, out of anything else–the powers, the foresight, the magical weapons–made Jason feel strong.
"Well, what are we waiting for? We have a kitty to catch," Jason said with confidence he definitely hadn't felt before.
"Yeah, it'll be a piece of cake," Noctis said with a smirk.
-o0o-
It was not a piece of cake. Not at all.
Jason screamed like a banshee as he dove for cover, the absolute terror of prey being hunted by apex predator ripping through his limbs as massive claws passed over his head for the fourth time, just barely missing by a hair's breadth. "NOoooooOOOCt! I don't think I can keep it occupied for much longer! AH!" Deadeye, the behemoth they'd foolishly, foolishly tracked to its own den, roared in defiant fury as an explosion wracked it's massive, mammothian frame, a wave of scorching heat washing over Jason as he crouched in the scant protection between two boulders. AaaAAAahhhHHH this is definitely not what he had in mind when he thought he'd keep it distracted while Noctis pelted it with firebombs! He'd kind of assumed Noctis would wait until he was out of the line of fire. "A little close there, asshole!" he shrieked.
"I got this!" Noctis shouted over the din, before yelping as the sabred cat turned on him with a howl, flashing away before it could snatch him right out of the air. "Shit, I think I just made it mad!"
Jason forced himself to peek out from his hiding place, taking in the burnt and bloody backside of the beast now thoroughly distracted by Noctis, swatting viciously at his dangling legs as he hung from the cliff. Jason bit his lip so hard he nearly broke the skin, breathing harshly through the stench of burning fur and flesh permeating the air.
Noctis was getting tired. Without the others to draw fire, he'd been warping nonstop since the second the beast pounced from hiding, nearly decapitating them both. It was only through Noctis' quick reflexes and a rather painful shove that they'd survived the first pass in the first place. After that it was absolute chaos, Noctis warping to and fro, getting hits in where he could, but the beast was too damn fast. It clearly hadn't survived this long at the top of the food chain by being stupid.
It had seemed hopeless, with Jason practically useless on the sidelines. That was until Jason remembered how Noctis had defeated it before; with fire.
"Noctis!" With determination renewed, he'd gasped, "FIRE!" And that was all he could say as he'd dashed forward with an almost suicidal hysteria, winding up and punching the distracted beast's leg as hard as he could, the now-familiar hum of his gear flashing golden as he struck home with a startling crack. The beast had roared and spun, and before he knew what was happening, Jason was flying.
It felt like he flew forever, the grey sky all he could see as the wind rushed by before he'd slammed into the ground hard. Repeatedly. It was a blur of motion and jolting pain until Jason came to a stop, shocked.
Oh God, he was dead he was...still alive? He sat up, bewildered, body aching something fierce but whole. He'd just taken a hit head-on with all the force of a clawed, pissed off semi-truck and he was, impossibly, still alive. That was...some magic. He resolved to thank Noctis properly later.
So, in shock, terrified, completely out of his mind and not knowing what the hell was actually going on, Jason did the next logical thing. He stood up and threw himself back into the fight, providing the distraction Noctis needed to get his firebombs ready and give the beast hell.
But time was running out, and their shambled together plan wasn't working. What Jason wouldn't give for Ignis' quick thinking or Gladio's massive strength, or hell, even Prompto's inappropriate jokes right about now! Jason had a few seconds at best before Noctis fell from his perch, right into the literal belly of the beast. Out of options and way beyond thinking about the danger to his own self, Jason did something really, really stupid. He sprang from cover, in fact, the only cover for a good fifty meters in any direction, and threw himself at the creature's massive hind legs with a cracked, desperate shout.
He didn't make it.
With an earth-shattering roar, the behemoth spun, not going to fall for the same trick twice, and pinned Jason to the ground beneath its massive paws. Jason couldn't breathe, couldn't move as it locked its single, malicious eye on his trembling form, opening its jaws and washing his body with its putrid breath. This is it, Jason thought numbly, this is how I die. So much for sticking with Noctis to the end. At least...at least he wouldn't die a coward…
The beast jerked, and Jason flinched, thinking it was lunging for the final blow...but it never came. Jason peaked his eyes open and then blinked owlishly as he watched the last of its life drain from its pupil before slowly falling to the side in a rumble that shook the ground so hard Jason actually bounced, its pinning paw shifting off of Jason's body as it went down and finally allowing him to draw breath.
For several seconds, Jason just lay there, staring at the sky as if not quite sure he was actually still there to see it, or if it was all just some elaborate illusion to ease him into oblivion.
"Ugh, fuck," Noctis groaned from somewhere behind Deadeye's corpse. "Uh, Jase? You still alive over there?"
Jason worked his jaw a couple of times before he could bring himself to speak. "Y-yeah," he croaked, though he wasn't quite sure if that was true.
"Great, can you, um, help me? My sword is stuck in this thing's spine, and fuck, I'm tired…"
Jason groaned in response, not sure he could actually get up. "Dude, can't you just banish it or something?"
"...Oh. Yeah."
A few seconds later and Noctis was falling into a heap at Jason's side, still clearly out of breath. "Told you it would be a piece of cake," he mumbled, throwing an arm over his face.
Jason huffed out a sad excuse for a laugh. "Am I still alive? How am I still alive?"
"Magical sentient rock," Noctis quipped. "Not complaining now, are you?"
"It's still an evil magical sentient rock," Jason rejoined breathlessly. "But no, not complaining anymore."
For several minutes, both of them just lay there, catching their breath. Now that the adrenaline was fading, it started to settle in for Jason that yes, he was still alive, and yes, he did just fight a mutant cat version of Clifford and win. After all of that fear and freaking out and going round and round in circles, he managed to overcome it all and just...get it done. Maybe–maybe he could do this.
"Hey," Jason said eventually, painfully pulling himself into a sitting position and drawing a half-aware grunt from Noctis. "Back there at the post, did you really think I would follow you?"
"Mmm, no," Noctis said. Jason paled, heart stuttering in his chest until Noctis peeked out from beneath his arm with a sly grin. "I'm kidding, jeez, chill out." He sat up as well, bumping Jason lightly on the shoulder. "I figured if I waited you out long enough you'd follow."
"...How did you know?"
The raven scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry about earlier, okay. I thought...but I realized after I cooled off that you'd just got caught up in your own head. I get it. It happens to me more often than I'd care to admit." He shrugged wryly. "Usually, Gladio pulls me out of it with a good verbal beat down. Figured since you don't really have anybody like that at the moment, I'd give it a try."
Jason stared at Noctis' profile for several long seconds, long enough for Noctis to start shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny. "Yeah?" he grumbled, giving Jason a sidelong glance.
Jason shook his head, cutting his gaze away, not sure what to feel. Better, he decided after a moment. He felt better.
Noctis relaxed back onto his arms with a huff. "I just want to ask, why now? You've faced MTs, red giants and beasts, hell, you've faced Cor up till now without running away. What is it about today that's got you twisted up in knots?"
Jason stared down at his hands, anxiety finally settling down a notch, and laughed a little. "What, can't a guy have a crisis before facing a giant mutant cat every once in a while?" Noctis just gave him a look and Jason sighed. "I guess...what Prompto showed me really freaked me out, y'know? It was like, before that moment, it was all kind of abstract. I knew I was going to face more than just a few MTs to save the world," he snorted, "but it wasn't until Prompto showed me, through my own eyes, just what we were up against. The more I thought about it, the more I panicked. I didn't think I could go through with it."
"...And now?"
A slow smile overtook Jason's features as he looked at the slighter man slumped beside him. Noctis looked exhausted, faced flushed from exertion and close calls with the flames he'd fought with, small scratches littering his skin and brows drawn from overusing his warping abilities. And yet, there was an expectation in his gaze as he turned to Jason. A small smile answered Jason's own, as if Noctis knew exactly what Jason was feeling, and Jason let the thrill of victory, the relief of surviving, and the newfound trust from the ice prince himself to warm Jason down to his core.
"Now… I'll follow you to Hell and back. Whatever it takes."
And this time, Jason could see that Noctis believed him by the slow grin that overtook his features. He looked so unexpectedly regal then, so sure that Jason saw an entirely different kind of vision, one of an older Noctis staring at his friends with love as he promised them the sun. He could see now why the others followed this man with such blind devotion. And...he started to believe it himself.
Then his eyes were drawn upward, and it was as if all the solemnity of the moment was sucked out of the clearing in a wave of hysterical amusement. Jason guffawed, covering his mouth to try and stop it, but to no avail "What?" Noctis asked, a smile still in his voice, and it was so different from the coldness that Jason had only ever experienced from him before that his heart skipped a beat, laughter hitching in his lungs. Breathlessly, Jason gestured to Noctis' head, laughing so hard he couldn't find the words.
Noctis' smile fell a little, slowly lifting his hand to his hair in confusion, only to flush a mottled red when he realized what was wrong.
Throughout that entire fight, stalking a giant beast through the woods, talking with Olly and Wiz and finally having a heart to heart with Jason….he hadn't taken out that purple hair clip. "Wha–" Noctis spluttered, scrabbling at his hair to take the dumb thing out, mortified. "You ass! Why didn't you say anything!"
"W-wait, no, don't take it out!" Jason gasped, grabbing at Noctis' hands. Noctis looked at him in disbelief and Jason coughed, clearing his throat and doing his best to stop the laughter. "You look good with your hair pulled back," he said as seriously as he could, though a grin still tugged insistently at his lips.
Noctis narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You're lying."
"I'm not." He flicked Noctis in the forehead, and the black-haired man squawked, smacking his hand away. It was such a casual interaction, with a complete and utter lack of animosity, that Jason felt like he was on cloud nine and never coming down. "Don't know why you hide those freaking eyes with all that hair. 'S a damn shame." Especially now that they were filled with warm skies rather than ice. He levered himself to his feet, groaning at how utterly exhausted he suddenly felt, burns and aches making themselves known with every breath. Jason looked up at the horizon with concern, noting the dimming clouds. "C'mon, we need to get back before dark. I don't care how strong you are, I do not want to be caught out here when the daemons start popping out."
He looked back when he didn't get a response, to see Noctis still sitting where he'd left him, eyes glazed and blinking up at Jason like he was crazy. Jason frowned. What? "You that tired or something? I'm not carrying you back if that's what you're waiting for."
Noctis seemed to snap back to reality, drawn features settling into that all too familiar glare as he pushed himself up, though it was noticeably without the frigidness it held before. "I'm fine," he said gruffly, turning abruptly and heading back down the path they'd come. With a shrug and a roll of his eyes, Jason followed suit. Some things never change.
"Are you ready for this?" Noctis asked quietly, voice still husked from sleep in the early morning light as he stepped up to Jason's side. Jason drew his gaze from the Disk of Cauthess in the distance, glancing over at him, surprised he was awake of his own volition, and so early too. But Noctis had that determined look on his face, that 'we've got shit to do' look that was becoming all too familiar lately. The sight was a little tempered, though, by the fact that Noctis was still wearing his hair back even after all that fuss. Jason smirked before his gaze was drawn back out into the distance, smile dropping into a grimace.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I am. Let's go rescue a princess."
Noctis huffed, smacking him lightly with the back of his hand. "I wouldn't say that to her if I were you. If I know Luna, she doesn't need saving. Just a little...redirection."
Jason chuckled. "Okay, I'll take your word for it. Lead on, Noctis. I'm right behind you."
AN: Next Chapter: Prompto has his own hurdles to overcome. With stuff in his head he didn't remember putting there, an evil debonair curtain salesman determined to destroy the world and a stubborn Shield who won't admit his feelings, he has his work cut out for him.
...I wonder if Jason will ever realize that he's unintentionally flirting. With everyone. Huh. *wanders off* see you next time!