Chapter 9 – Bella

For the entire long ass bus ride towards the tattoo shop she worked at, Bella kept her nose buried in Edward's coat. Inhaling the scent deeply, as if that was the only way for her to breathe efficiently and calm her nerves.

She had gotten on that bus smiling, but the rude passengers, combined with the traffic, and all the stupidity that went on in that city, Bella soon slipped back into her angry funk. Of course, thoughts of Edward, however fleetingly, and that coat's delicious scent, kept chasing those aggressions away.

"What is going on with you?" Leah, the tattoo shop owner, asked. "I keep catching you smiling to yourself."

"Ugh, I know. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Bella groaned as she cleaned up her work station.

Having a little distance between her and Edward hadn't diminished her fondness of him the way she assumed it might. The more she thought about him, the more she liked him and couldn't wait to see him again.

"So, your pop came in here yesterday looking for you," Leah told her. "He said you never went home the night before. He was a tad bit worried."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I texted him that I wasn't coming home."

"Yeah, he said you did, but the poor man needs to stop watching those crime shows because he thought that maybe you were kidnapped and forced to message him like that."

"Oh, pop," Bella whined. "I have another client coming in soon, but I'll make sure to call him on my next break."

"So… where have you been? It's not like you to actually go to a guy's place, and even less like you to stay there for any length of time. Now you keep smiling. Gurl, tell me what's up. Don't hold anything back, I want all the deets!"

"Ugh, I don't even know," Bella said with a sigh. "I met a guy at my last gig, and I sort of followed him home, and now… now I just think I might be turning into one of those obsessive idiots. The guy is like… sickeningly perfect."

"Perfect, huh?"

"I know! So not my type. He doesn't do drugs, only drinks socially, and has zero ink. But he is just like…" Bella sighed.

"Aww, that's so cute. I don't think I've ever even seen you this… not angry."

"It's ridiculous, right? Like, what the hell is wrong with me? This guy is just a guy. Why am I getting all gooey over him? It's embarrassing. And, it's been the longest stretch of time without me wanting to punch someone. I honestly don't even know who I am right now."

"I think it's cute," Leah gushed. "Until he breaks your heart. Then that's also nice because we get to go kick some ass."

"No. There will be no kicking any ass with this one. You don't understand. He's not like the jackasses you date. He is just a legitimately nice guy. Trust me, when he gets tired of me and finally kicks me to the curb, it will be a hundred percent my fault."

"Or maybe you will just always be together for the rest of your lives," Leah suggested facetiously. "You'll get married, and have babies, and live happily ever after."

Bella's chest fluttered at the thought, but she quickly pushed the feeling away and shook her head. "Guys like him don't marry girls like me. They might take an occasional little pit-stop in the world of unhinged head-cases, but they never stay long."

"Well, like you said, maybe this one is different."

"I'm certainly not going to fool myself into thinking that."

"Of course, you won't. Bella Swan never takes risks in matters of the heart," Leah teased her.

"Aww, it's so sweet of you to assume I have a heart," Bella joked back.

"Oh well, with or without a heart, you don't need a perfect guy like that anyway," Leah said supportively. "They always end up disappointing you. I bet he only knows how to do the vanilla sex anyway. Trust me, that shit gets boring after a while."

"Vanilla sex?" Bella giggled. "If by vanilla you mean boring, then Edward is far from that. We have had more sex in the past two days then I've had in months. And every time it's different and amazing. He definitely knows what he's doing in that department."

"Wow, well he really does sound perfect."

"He is, except I am in some serious pain," Bella giggled. "Every muscle is sore like I did an intense full-body workout before running a marathon."

"Gah, I want to be that sore from sex!" Leah whined with humorous longing. "Most of the guys I date don't have that kind of stamina. I swear to god, if I ever found me a good fucker like that, I would do whatever possible to hold on to him. Happy vagina, happy life, and all. But really, no one is that perfect. I wonder what he's hiding? Because you know they're always hiding something."

"Oh, Edward definitely has his skeletons; the only problem is, his closets are so damn clean that I'm not sure where he is keeping them," Bella laughed.

"Or, he is just really good at disguising them as mundane things."

"I know he is hiding something from me, which is totally fine. We hardly know each other; it's not like I expect him to disclose his deepest darkest secrets. I'm honestly not worried about it. It's not like I'm marrying the guy."

"Yet!" Leah teased her again.

"I am not the marrying type," Bella countered dismissively.

"If he is as good of a lover as you claim, I'd damn well find a way to become the marrying type if I were you," Leah retorted.

"There is a little more that goes into a marriage than sex," Bella disagreed. "And I'm not capable of all that. No, I'm just going to enjoy a little taste of perfection while I can, and when he's gone I'll just go back to fucking losers… and probably imagining him while I do it. Wow, how pathetic is that?"

"You are way too hard on yourself," Leah told her, not that Bella would ever agree. Seeing any value in herself had always been one of her greatest challenges.

After she was finished with all of her clients for the evening, Bella let herself get excited about seeing Edward again.

"So, are you going to take the travel kit with you to give Mr. Perfect a private tattoo session?" Leah asked her before she could finish closing up her station.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Can I?" Bella asked eagerly.

Edward had said he wanted her to tattoo him, but Bella had her doubts it would ever happen. However, if she brought the gun to him, she could see to it that it did. There was something strangely alluring to Bella about tattooing Edward. Regardless of what the tattoo actually was, he would take that little piece of her with him for the rest of his life. No matter what his future would bring, or who he would share it with, her art would always be with him.

"Of course. Have fun!" Leah said encouragingly.

Bella couldn't get back to Edward's fast enough. For a guy she just met, she had honestly missed him, and surprisingly, she wasn't quite to the point of psyching herself into self-sabotage just yet.

"Hey," she said the moment she stepped back into his apartment. She couldn't help but smile widely at the sight of that beautiful man waiting up for her.

"Hey back," he said, returning her smile. "I was wondering how late you were going to be."

"Wonder no more because here I am," she said, before closing the distance between them and immediately attaching her lips to his.

"How was your day?" he mumbled against her mouth as they continued to kiss and automatically began removing their clothing.

"Lousy. How about you?" she replied while wrestling with his pants.

"Eh. Got some homework done. Missed you like hell."

Bella paused her kissing to smile. "I missed you too. But I didn't come back empty-handed."

"No? What did you bring?" he asked as she resumed kissing him, this time bringing her lips to the crook of his neck.

"I'll show you… after you fuck me first."

She didn't have to ask him twice. He had been hungry for her all day, and he was more than ready to get reacquainted.

He lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, and then he carried her to the bed. They didn't have too many clothes left on their bodies, so they quickly finished the job and he pushed right into her as if they were only complete when attached in that way.

It took a while, but when they were temporarily satisfied, she finally got around to showing him her tattoo gun.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," he said, mildly concerned.

"No, but if you don't want to…"

"I do. I trust you, let's do this."

"Whatever I want?" she double checked.

"Anything… Well… just please don't put any penises on me. I saw a show once where a guy let the tattoo artist have full control and he ended up with a penis on his neck."

Bella giggled. "I have done a few penis pieces before, but I promise I wouldn't do that to you. I think we will go with something tame for your ink cherry pop. Maybe a full sleeve dragon."

"That doesn't sound tame at all."

She laughed again. "It's not. I was kidding."

"Thank god," he mumbled.

She smirked. "Okay, here comes the black swan flying through a giant heart."

"What-a-huh?" he asked concerned.

"Now, I've had all day to think about this. I think a black swan is fitting. You know…to remember me by."

"It's not even possible to ever forget you," he said doubtlessly. "But if you're set on a swan, I'm game."

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah. Whatever you want."

"Even if what I want is to put my actual name on you? Like it spelled out letter for letter."

Edward didn't even have to think about it. "Sure. Put it on me."

Bella was stunned by his utter trust in her. She was still a stranger to him; one who had done nothing to earn or be worthy of that trust. Nobody had ever given her blind faith like that before, and it made her feel some kind of way that she couldn't quite comprehend just yet.

Maybe there really was something wrong with him? A brain disorder, or even a terminal disease and he was using her as his last hurrah and good deed.

She even had a moment of feeling like perhaps he wasn't a real person. What if he was some kind of angel or mystical being sent to save her from eternal damnation? Or maybe he was the exact opposite – a demon sent to lull her into a false sense of serenity so he could escort her to her rightful place in the underworld.

Bella was never one to believe in anything beyond what her eyes could actually see, but she was sure as hell seeing this man, and she still couldn't see a single flaw in him.

But what she had no way of knowing was just how much she had meant to him for the majority of his life. Even if they were to go their separate ways, Edward would still never regret her name permanently inscribed on his body.

"Okay, here we go. How are you on pain tolerance?"

"Pretty good. I got a fish hook in my hand when I was a kid. Didn't faze me."

"Alrighty then. Just remember to keep breathing, and if it gets too bad, just tell me you need a break."

"Gotcha."

"You sure you don't have a preference on placement?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay, lie back." Bella cleaned off his left pectoral, and slowly made her first line. "How did that feel?"

"Not bad. Is it done already?"

She laughed. "Not even close. Get comfy; we're going to be here a while."

Marking up his perfectly pristine skin with her permanent ink was almost bittersweet for Bella. His skin tone was beautiful in it's natural state, but she did love her art and she was truly touched that he was allowing her to do it to him.

As she worked, she kept glancing at his face for any signs of distress, but he hardly even flinched the entire time. He did, however, occasionally grope her ass.

"If you don't stop that I'm going to end up fucking you while I'm doing this, which will probably just screw it up."

"I'll take my chances," he said unconcerned.

As sexy as he was, Bella somehow managed to resist and kept it as professional as possible. She really truly wanted to give him something he wouldn't come to regret, so her well thought out design needed to be just as perfect as Edward himself.

The hours dragged on, and the session continued into the wee hours of the morning, but Edward never complained. He didn't even flick on the television to pass the time. He just kept watching her face as she concentrated, and he would occasionally caress the part of her skin that he could reach from the way his arm was positioned.

As Bella came close to the completion, she began to get nervous. What if he hated it? She had a feeling he would lie and say he liked it no matter what – he was just that type of sweet and caring person, but it was important to her that he legitimately loved it.

"Okay, I'm going to need to come back and do some touch ups and add some more details later, but it's done for now," she said after the marathon tatting session. "Want to take a look?"

"Yeah, let's see this," he said while sitting up. She followed him to the bathroom, where he flipped on the light and saw his new chest piece for the first time. "Wow," was all he could think to say. "I -uh…" He was sincerely speechless.

Bella bit her lip anxiously as she waited her for his opinion, but because he didn't really say anything right away, she decided she needed to explain her choice of art.

"So, you said your mother loved the boats; that's why I did the anchor, and it has the date of her passing on it. See? And the compass is because I know you're far from where you grew up. Compasses tend to represent travel, and they point North to symbolize the need to always find your way back home."

The mostly neutral tones of the detailed tattoo made it more subtle, and almost like it belonged there on his skin. Bella didn't want it to be bright and flashy because that was not the kind of guy Edward was. She truly had thought the tattoo out completely, and Edward was absolutely blown away.

"That is… amazing," he final said with the utmost of sincerity. "I would have never thought to ask for anything like that, but it couldn't be more perfect. You really are an artist. Wow. I mean, I figured you knew what you were doing since it's your career and all, but… it really is beautiful. My mother would have loved the anchor. Thank you so much for that. Even the flowers are a nice touch. I didn't think most guy tattoos had flowers, but they just kind of frame the whole thing and tie it all together."

"Well, flowers aren't always a common choice for men, but for memorial tattoos like this anchor, usually roses are added. If you hate them, I can always cover them with something else."

"No way. Bella, you have no idea just how perfect this is. Thank you. I love it. Truly. You are absolutely amazing. If this was on canvas and hanging on a wall, I'd say it was an incredible piece. I have no idea how you were able to do it with a tattoo gun."

She smiled and blushed, and somehow knew he wasn't lying just to be kind. He really did like it, in fact, he may have even teared up a bit thanks to the memorial for his mother.

"Well, art has always been my passion. It was actually painting and sketching that helped me through some shit as a kid more than any therapy seemed to. My pop used to have an art room for me at home, with everything set up and ready for me to use whenever I got the urge. It was nice. I'm not sure why I ever stopped all of that. It's been years since I painted anything."

"Well, you should go back to it. If art is the type of therapy you respond to the most, then it's art that you should turn to whenever you feel like you're struggling with something."

"I guess it would be a better outlet than getting intoxicated," Bella agreed.

Had anyone else suggested she go back to using art as coping mechanism, or even imply that she may still need occasional help to deal with certain things, Bella probably would have punched them in the face. But with Edward, everything he said seemed to come from a good place. From his heart and straight to hers. He could probably call her a mess and a fucking head-case and somehow make it sound tender.

With the tattoo taking so long, and Edward in more pain than he would admit, they were both pretty tired and decided to go to bed. They didn't even have sex before falling asleep, which made Bella almost feel closer to him in some weird way.

As Bella rested peacefully against the un-tatted half of his chest, she realized that was exactly what happiness actually felt like. She didn't need narcotics, or screaming on stage, or even sex. She just needed to be touched. Really touched. From the inside out, and that's what Edward was doing for her.

The stranger had quickly become the most important thing in the entire world to her, and even though it was terrifying, for the first time in her life, she didn't want to run from it. It was like she was finally seeing life clearly.

What if she could feel like that all the time?

What if she could really find a home there in his arms?

Even the mere thought if it gave her a warm fuzzy feeling all over her body. But because she was such a pessimist, she tried like hell to bury those emotions. Life was never that kind to her, and sooner rather than later, she was sure he would see her for what she was – a worthless fuckup.