A/N: Its been awhile since I've written one of these, actually the first one of these regarding this story. First off, I'd just like to send out a big apology out to you all for having left this story out in limbo for so long. It was a combination of me taking an extended break longer than I had originally planned to, sheer laziness, and just a mental block in regards to how exactly I was going to go about creating this specific chapter for you guys. The POV for this swapped several times, with me even going as far as having planned to make it a dual POV chapter where I combined two separate chapters into one.
Finally though, as you can see, I've managed to find my rhythm again and churn this long overdue chapter out. It's the longest one yet I believe, and by far the most important chapter to date - besides the one that will soon follow this one, but I'll get to that in a moment.
Quick special shout out goes to GuardianFan-HE for checking up to see where I was and giving me the kick start I needed to come back and properly continue this. Sorry that I couldn't keep my original promise of September with this chapter, but because of that the next chapter will be out before next Saturday to try and make up for it. I've already started on it. And regards to that next chapter and this chapter, pay very close attention to what's happening in both. They serve as major turning points in the characters of both Hollypaw and Redpaw and helps to give you some insight into where the split in their friendship truly started.
Anyway, thanks guys for the continued support and hopefully I'll be able to keep up this time for you. Hope it was worth the wait.
Riddle
Riddle me this: What haunts my nightmares?
Moonlight filtered through the foliage rooftop of the apprentice den. Hollypaw lay sprawled out on her back, silently basking in the crescent moonshine that illuminated their sleeping quarters in an ethereal glow.
She had been up for some time now feeling uncharacteristically vacant. A case of lethargy had left her in an odd state lately, resulting in her thoughts coming across as scrambled, unfocused, and distant. Hollypaw had spent the better part of the past few days trying to get a handle onto them, but ultimately failing as they continued to elude her.
This lack of clarity within herself had cumulated in the toriseshell she-cat ruminating moodily around the BoulderClan camp with a crossed disposition that left her unapproachable to most cats. Hollypaw was generally known for her snappish behavior from time to time, but nothing quite like the sour dismissal she'd been displaying towards everyone.
Her attitude had sparked a murmur of confusion brewing among the apprentices that soon spread over to some of the warriors who too started to take notice of the usually energetic she-cat's less than unenthusiastic aura. Roseblossom had gone as far as to question her apprentice of the sudden lack of interest in Clan activities, but didn't receive so much as a coherent sentence from Hollypaw who merely shrugged whenever pressed.
Truth be told, the fiery apprentice herself wasn't exactly sure of the answer behind her dropped in vitality. She had a sneaking suspicious of where it may possibly stem from, but not why it would have affected her as much.
The thing in question traced back a few days in the past to her first gathering as an officially certified BoulderClan apprentice. Hollypaw's memory faded back to the scene where she had sat near the back of the crowd assembled beneath the Highrock. Her body had been taut with anticipation and brimming with excitement as Crowstar had just finished announcing her as one of the participating cats going along with him to the gathering.
"Now listen, Hollypaw," Roseblossom was saying, as the gathering group began breaking off from the Clan and heading for the gorse tunnel. "Crowstar did you a favor by allowing you to attend the gathering tonight, so try to be on your best behavior tonight, will you?"
She readily agreed without giving a single other thought to Roseblossom's counsel. What's there to argue against? Hollypaw asked herself. I'm going to the gathering!
How long had she been forced to endure the sight cats older than her be allowed to attend the gathering while she sat watching from the nursery in envy? Tonight meant more for her than Roseblossom understood. It was a validation of her growth and coming of age as a BoulderClan apprentice. For Hollypaw a cat couldn't truly consider themselves apart of the Clan until having attended at least one gathering.
Lead by Crowstar, the group of designated cats filed out of the gorse tunnel and into the forest. Flicking his tail once, Crowstar gave the signal to march on and the assortment of elders, warriors, and apprentices present immediately fell in line behind the grey leader walking.
The forest had a completely different look and feel at night with the treetops being highlighted in this serene, translucent shine that twinkled down into the forest floor and washed over the paws of Hollypaw and the others in shimmering gleam of azure.
A balmy breeze lingered in the air as the group traveled under the guardianship of the moon's sentry light. Hollypaw was located near the mid center of the traversing troupe relishing in the lively atmosphere of the forest and chatting with Sagepaw, who walked alongside her, having just come up and struck up a conversation.
"Wonder how many cats will show up tonight? From what I've heard from Ashfur they can get pretty packed at times."
Hollypaw nodded along, having heard similar from Roseblossom. "I hope it's filled to the brim," she enthused. "I want to be able to see as many different cats from the other Clans as possible."
"Yeah," Sagepaw agreed before his eyes suddenly slanted mischievously. "It'll also be a good opportunity to get a personal look at the competition first paw, don't you think? I mean eventually we're destined to meet the same cats there tonight in battle one day."
That was true, Hollypaw admitted with a flick of her left ear. Any and all cats that would be present at the gathering were, for the most part anyway, potentially future adversaries for her. When placed in that kind of context, the thought of actually crowding into one area with others she very well may end up one day sinking her claws into felt more than a little odd.
Was there something she was missing here? Wasn't it inherently wrong to meet under false pretenses such as these?
"Be careful with that kind of talk at the gathering, will you, Sagepaw?" Roseblossom spoke out from behind them, having caught the entire exchange. "The full moon signifies a momentary sign of peace between the four Clans, so let's try and keep talks of battle out of the conversation, okay?"
"Don't you find it a bit weird though?" Hollypaw pressed, speaking over her shoulder. "I mean, if not for the simple fact that StarClan decreed it, there'd be nothing stopping everyone from completely ripping each other to shreds."
"That's the beauty of having an event like the gathering," Roseblossom replied. "It's a chance for civil discourse between each other on a night where there's nothing to fear harm of and we share useful information that may be of benefit to us all. Besides that, there are many of us that have acquaintances in other Clans that we rarely get to see."
Hollypaw felt her own face scrunch up. "Acquaintances that, excluding the onetime a moon that you meet, you're usually trying to pummel, you mean?"
"Only when and if provoked."
"But that still doesn't change what I said being true."
Roseblossom rolled her eyes, sighing in turn. "You love being difficult, don't you? For just once can't you accept something traditional about Clan history that's been proven to work seasons before either I or you were even born?"
"Even if it doesn't make any sense?" she huffed in return, whipping her head back forward. "I swear I should hurry up and become leader just to revise some of these silly traditions of ours."
"Not before me you don't," Sagepaw rebutted playfully. "There's not another cat alive yet who'll be as qualified as me when I become a warrior. You can always be my deputy though, Hollypaw, so there's that to look forward to."
She snorted loudly. "The day I abide by your law and command will never happen, Sagebrain."
The group soon came to a halt at the foot of a massive toppled oak that lay as bridge between the mainland and island where the night's gathering would take place.
"We should pair up in twos while moving along the log to help one another out should someone lose their balance," Crowstar called out over the group, his surveying eyes sweeping over Hollypaw and Sagepaw. "We're almost there so everyone let's make it all in one piece."
He once again took lead. Bunching his powerful legs together, Crowstar soared on the oak log followed closely behind by his deputy Brackentail. Roseblossom went ahead to join and aide the accompanying elders with help getting on and across the log, leaving Hollypaw alone in the back with Sagepaw.
The two apprentices followed suit and mimicked the movements of the cats before them. Bunching their legs together and tightening the muscles underneath their skin they simultaneously hopped up for the log with Hollypaw fully making it her first try, but Sagepaw having only partially done so.
"Pull me up, pull me up!" he cried out frantically as only half his body lay on the log while the other lay scrambling for a hold of something to grip.
"I would, Sagepaw, really I would," Hollypaw began to tease, "But how would it look for such a magnificent and future leader like you having to be helped along by your future deputy who cleared it in one try? Obviously the future leader of the Clan should be able to excel in something as mundane as getting onto a log."
Hollypaw had to admit to herself that it was certainly fun to pick on Sagepaw when the usual big headed tom was in a less than favorable position where he couldn't brag his way out of.
"Cut it out, I'm slipping back down!" Sagepaw yowled out. "Come on don't let my dad see me straggling back here like a kit fresh out of the nursery."
Of course! How had she forgotten about that? If there was one thing that Sagepaw idolized in the world more than himself, it had to be his father, specifically his father's opinion of him. This was probably one of the rare occasions that she ever saw him looking so distraught over something and for no other reason than the pathetic look in his eyes as he gazed pleadingly at her, Hollypaw decided to take pity on him.
She bent down near the edge of the log, sinking her claws into place, and latched onto the scruff of Sagepaw's neck. With a loud grunt of exertion, Hollypaw heaved upwards, pulling with all of her jaw muscle and might as she helped heave the russet tom's heavy mass up and onto the log.
With him finally secure on the log she drifted on ahead. The bark felt cool and uneven beneath her paws as every three or four steps that she would take the bark would dip from smooth to bumpy. It wasn't until about halfway across the log that Hollypaw realized that the 'bumps' in bark were actually the old paw prints made by past generations of cats in the grooves.
She was literally standing on one of the founding pillars of history regarding her ancestors. And with that quaint thought in mind she finally made it to the end of the log where the rest of her Clanmates lay in wait for her.
Hollypaw took her first step onto the island, releasing a large breath as she surveyed the surroundings. The island itself was wide and sloped several times over with a collection of gnarly and grotesquely shaped trees littered around throughout. She moved forward feeling the soft underfoot of the cool mossy shore as her paws sunk into the fertile soil.
The air carried a dank smell of rain and fish. A side effect that Hollypaw supposed came with choosing to congregate on a strip of land completely surrounded by water.
Just over the ascent of the final slope was where Hollypaw was introduced to a glorious sight.
Everywhere, located in the midst of a basin like dip, as far as her eyes could see were cats of different statures, complexion, and most importantly allegiances. Without question this was the largest collection of cats that she had ever seen. From Hollypaw's position it was like viewing the oddest sort of rainbow or field of flowers that she'd ever encountered.
"Feel free to mingle, but also to show respect to the others and remember that you are here representing all of BoulderClan that could not be here tonight," Crowstar's powerful rang out amongst them. "Until then, enjoy yourselves!"
Hollypaw gave a loud cheer in return and then slowly began to descend the slope with the rest of her Clan. As they drew closer the smell of mud hit her nostrils and Sagepaw nudged her side, indicating with his ears a squad of three cats chattering together with wet fur and mud covered paws.
"SwampClan," he spoke grinning widely. "And over there- whoa they're huge! That must be the cats of CloudClan!"
Hollypaw's mouth dropped open beside him at the sight of the tree like statures of the CloudClan cats. She had only ever heard about them in passing from Roseblossom and how the height of their oldest apprentices rivaled that of a full grown BoulderClan warrior, but it was an entirely different feel to see them live and in the flesh.
For the most part they stood long and tall with short stiff fur and a twinge of pine wafting from it. The tips of their eyes and ears peered over the heads of most cats present. They stood regal as they lived up to the namesake of their Clan which served as a correlation between their heights towering over everyone else as clouds themselves towered over everything else from the sky.
From what she'd been taught Hollypaw knew the CloudClan cats to use their long legs and height to their advantages, specifically going after squirrels and other speedy rodents. But what they were probably best known and acclaimed for was their unrivaled ability for catching birds. Rumor had it that their leader, Owlstar, originally gained her name from having been the first and only CloudClan cat to ever catch a full grown owl.
"I had near the exact same reaction as you two do when I first a CloudClan cat for the first time," Ashfur chimed in, noticing their awed stares with a chuckle. "Their camps located just south from ours nearby a haven of pine trees so tall that they nearly puncture the sky."
"Wow, have you personally been there yourself, Ashfur?" Sagepaw asked, getting raptured in his mentor's words.
While he was preoccupied Hollypaw took the opportunity to explore alone, casually fading in and out of different conversations between cats as she made her way through the throng of them.
Cats of every Clan were intermingled amongst each other from the gaggle of elders reminiscing on old times in their younger days, to the four separate Clan deputies chatting animatedly together, to the rest of the warriors and apprentices trading stories back and forth.
The gathering truly had a festive air about it tonight, but one that Hollypaw couldn't quite get herself invested into. For one of the first times in her short life she felt out of place in a surrounding that for all things considered she should be enjoying herself.
She couldn't shake the notion of strangeness surrounding the entire occasion.
"You were one of the cats watching us from the hill today."
Caught off guard, Hollypaw whirled around to find herself locked gazes with none other than herself.
Riddle me that: What is my greatest mistake?
Wait, what?
It took her a moment longer to realize that in actuality she was actually viewing a reflection of herself in the bright golden eyes of another cat. Hollypaw took two steps back and watched as the mirror her vanished to become refocused with the literal body of the cat possessing the reflective eyes, a light brown, black spotted tom oddly watching her every move.
"Who are you?" she demanded a second before realizing that she actually recognized the cat in question. She'd only just seen him earlier today. "Wait, I know you. You're the tom from that MeadowClan patrol."
"And you're one of the BoulderClan apprentices that was watching us from the hill," he reiterated plainly, his voice sounding a lot younger than he actually looked.
"How do you know that?"
The tom merely shrugged. "There's not much that gets by me. But," he paused slightly, swiveling his ears inwards, "If it's a more concrete answer you're seeking than blame it on your Clanmate who was with you. It's more so difficult to miss seeing a cat his size than the other way around.
"I'll agree with you there," Hollypaw acquiesced. "The two things that Sagepaw's size doesn't grant him are subtlety and invisibility."
The spotted tom seemed to give an awkward half nod in response and then just sit there as they quickly descended into silence afterwards. Hollypaw blinked, honestly taken aback by the complete brevity of the exchange with the peculiar spotted cat before her.
She'd met some strange ones, but he was definitely near the top of them.
The spotted tom suddenly winced, as if in significant pain. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?" he stated out loud, more to himself than anything. "Sorry, I have a really bad habit of suddenly initiating conversations before quickly running out of anything else to say," he was attempting to explain, while simultaneously rambling on longer than necessary. "I'm told it makes things really awkward for the one on the receiving end of things, but I'm not particularly proficient when it comes to exchanging meaningful dialogue with another person that keeps the discourse up long enough for us to both easily integrate ourselves into the- huh? Why are you laughing?"
Hollypaw had begun laughing, completely losing her composure in the face of the incredibly longwinded explanation being made by the spotted tom before her. The kitish voice of his reminding Hollypaw of herself as a kit didn't help much with it.
"Don't worry about it," she told him, still laughing. "You actually remind me of a friend of mine with a very similar problem. I'm Hollypaw by the way. Nice to meet you..umm?"
"Falconpaw," he responded. "Falconpaw of MeadowClan."
Wow, he talks like he's always attempting to solve some kind of riddle, Hollypaw noticed with a small smirk. Yeah, he was definitely high up there on the list of oddballs she'd met.
"Hey, Hollypaw, where'd you up and run off?" a voice called from the side of them just as Sagepaw came into view. He padded towards Hollypaw when his eyes shifted over to Falconpaw. "Wait, I've seen you bef-"
"Drop it," Hollypaw interjected, swiping her tail dismissively. "We've already gone and done that. His names Falconpaw and yes, he was the cat we saw to-"
"The BoulderClan deputy's your father, right?" Falconpaw suddenly questioned, sliding his golden gaze over Sagepaw.
Sagepaw blinked and looked to Hollypaw in surprised. The toriseshell she-cat shrugged to show that she had nothing to do with what was going on.
He turned back to the speckled tom, confusion evident on his face. "How do you know that?"
"There's not much that gets by me," he repeated from earlier with Hollypaw before pausing, his ears swiveling inwards again. "Wait, I keep forgetting I have to elaborate when I say a thing like this otherwise it's misinterpreted as vague or creepy. Hmm, well for one thing the weight, gait, and stance in which you both carry yourselves are too eerily similar to be merely coincidental," he casually stated off, as if what he was saying was the same as listing off what you had to eat last night. "There are several other things that factor into making the connection, but it also helps that the resemblance between you two is pretty remarkable."
Sagepaw's eyes seemed near close to bulging out of his head while Hollypaw was trying to fight back laughter at how dumbfounded the russet tom had been left. Falconpaw was obviously an acquired taste for most cats to get the hang of his own style rhythm, but from the looks of it Sagepaw would be one of those who only would ever leave with a sour taste in his mouth.
A commanding bout of yowls tore the air, snatching the attention of every cat on the island present. Hollypaw and the others fell into silence and faced forward towards the source of the caterwaul.
Looming over everyone, stationed stoutly on four separate branches, perched the four reigning leaders of the Clans. From left to right lay perched Owlstar of CloudClan, Crowstar of BoulderClan, Marshstar of SwampClan, and Amberstar of MeadowClan.
"And with all of your attention we now commence this full moon's gathering!" Crowstar proclaimed.
And from there things transpired as Hollypaw had been told by older apprentices and warriors that would get to attend. The four leaders each took turns briefly discussing a summary of Clan business for the last moon in their respective territories, but nothing Hollypaw noted, that would constitute as any authentic recount. It seemed more a formality and chance to spout, "Hey, my Clan is still strong! Argggh!" as far as Hollypaw was concerned. Everything about it from the 'discussion' to having to come here once a moon seemed entirely forced to her.
What was the point of all of this?
It was the midst of her harsh evaluation of the gathering proceedings that Hollypaw noticed a strained look over on Falconpaw's face. If she didn't know any better it would seem like the sheer thought of the four leaders even being here ailed him greatly.
Secretly watching for several more moments as the strained look on his face slowly got worse, Hollypaw's curiosity finally got the best of her and she had to poke him for answers.
"You're frowning pretty hard while staring intently to what's going on up there. What, do you think that if you were leader you'd handle things differently and better?"
He glanced at her. "Not at all. Speaking honestly, I find it to be a strenuous and restricting position for just one cat to hold. Really, I'm frowning from just wondering how lonely it must feel for the four of them to be sitting so far away and disconnected from the rest of us."
The answer completely caught her off guard, surprising her without fail, but nowhere near the level as it did Sagepaw.
"Lonely?!" Sagepaw snorted upon hearing this. "You're the Clan leader. What's there to feel lonely or sad about when you rule over an entire Clan?"
"Nothing you'd probably want to contemplate," Falconpaw replied vaguely. "Saying so would probably just make the idea of being leader pointless to you now."
"Pointless!" Sagepaw growled. "There's nothing pointless to being leader! It's a rank of honor and the highest prestige that one who has chosen the path of warrior can achieve as a part of a Clan.
Falconpaw didn't bat an eye in the front of Sagepaw's rage. "Well then, it's certainly a shame that such a limits been placed on how far you can advance as part of a Clan."
"I've heard enough of this," Sagepaw spat. "Obviously MeadowClan cats have no respect for what it means to be a warrior. Hollypaw let's go!"
He lumbered off in an enraged huff without first even stopping to check and see if she had followed.
"He doesn't like me very much," Falconpaw bluntly stated as Sagepaw left.
"What gave it away?" Hollypaw replied sarcastically. "His aggressive body language or the way he stormed off after you said being leader was pointless."
Falconpaw briefly smiled. "Both. Physically speaking, he has the makings of what most look for in a leader. Strong, agile, proud, maybe a bit more proud than most being the deputy's son, but he'll definitely make a good warrior for your Clan one day."
"You got all that from just looking at him?"
"Even more," he answered. "He isn't very adept at concealing his intentions when flustered. If you know the right buttons to push then you can probably turn his insecurity and natural talent against him. He'll need to work on keeping a clearer head under pressure if such a scenario ever arises."
"Wait so let me get this straight then. Did you really mean those words that you said about how horrible it must be to live as a leader or were you doing it just to set off Sagebrain?"
He glanced at her before aimlessly staring up into the night sky. "I thought it best he dislike me now rather than later so when the inevitable fight between our Clans happen there's no guilt stemming from someone we fought."
His words sent chills Hollypaw's spine as she realized it reflected some of her own inner thoughts about the concept behind the gathering. When she thought of actually having possibly fight Falconpaw one day it made her insides squirm. She liked the spotted tom, as odd as he was. To attack and physically do harm to him would be the same as attacking a Clanmate for her…. the same as attacking Redpaw.
"Sorry," Falconpaw apologized, taking her silence as being offended and dipping his head towards her. "It's a bit awkward for me seeing all these cats here that'll probably end up fighting over one thing or another come the next full moon. It kind of makes me wonder, what's the point of having this one night set out where we're civil if for the majority of the rest of the seasons we're always constantly at each other's throats. What's the point of cross Clan communication when in the end we'll all just end up in a fight? Is loyalty and unity only limited to one's own Clan?"
No, Hollypaw answered to herself as she lay in her nest still. The thoughts of Redpaw's early mistreatment as a kit and apprentice were fresh and vivid in her mind as she finally replied to the final question that Falconpaw had left with her as the gathering came to an abrupt end right after.
No, unity and loyalty wasn't limited to one's own Clan. Not as long as even one cat was treated like an outsider in his own home.
Hollypaw had thought a lot about the things Falconpaw had said since the gathering had ended days ago. He had inadvertently feed the fuel of her already growing concerns with the behavior and actions of the cats around her, but to hear it verbalize and put in such a way made her desperate to want to hear more of what he thought of the structure of Clan life and what possibly needed to be changed about it.
In sounding like he was always trying to solve a riddle, he had also inadvertently sparked her interest in a riddle of her own.
Tell me: Why did any of this have to happen?