Chapter Thirty-Six
At the End of All Things

The first time Sakura awoke, everything was hazy. Like she was in a thick fog, her head filled with clouds. There were voices just beyond and a beeping nearby that seemed to reverberate through her skull. Bright lights shined in her eyes, but she couldn't find the strength to shield her vision from it. Then she faded out again.

The next time Sakura opened her eyes, her surroundings were much clearer. She was still groggy, her dreams and reality dancing on the same line until she didn't know what was real and what was her imagination. It took her a few minutes to get her bearings, but when she finally blinked into focus, she instantly recognized the hospital room.

Like a knee-jerk reaction, adrenaline filled Sakura's veins as she recalled brief flashes of the port. But one glance down at her hands and she saw they were free of handcuffs. She hadn't been caught by the CIA.

What did catch her notice was she was no longer wearing a Kevlar vest. Instead, she had been changed into a standard hospital gown. There was a sheet tucked around her middle to keep her legs warm and an IV inserted into her arm. It was connected to a bag with a clear liquid inside, likely just fluids. And perhaps pain killers, she realized after a sharp ache lanced through her shoulder when she tried to move her arm.

Pulling back the collar of her gown, Sakura found the left side of her upper body was wrapped in bandages. Post-surgery. At least someone had removed the bullet. Though, she would need to get out of the hospital soon before the police were called and she was questioned. If they hadn't been called already.

That's when Sakura realized she was alone. Where was Kakashi?

Through the clear, sliding doors, she could see the nurses' station down the hall. There were two nurses there now, but they were busy with paperwork. She watched them until the television on the wall behind the desk caught her attention. It was playing the morning news.

From her distance, she couldn't read the captions, but the channel was showing a helicopter view of the warehouse in Newark. It was still dark, just before dawn, the shipping yard lit up by a handful of overhead spotlights as red and blue police lights flashed. The video was at least a few hours old. Just outside the hospital window, the sun was already peeking above the horizon.

In that moment, Sakura remembered Itachi. Her heartrate and blood pressure spiked as she recalled the blood that had been gathering around him while she had been forced to watch on, unable to help. She worried what had become of him, where he was now.

Pushing herself up in bed, Sakura searched the room for her personal items, specifically her phone. She could call Kakashi or Shikamaru. It would be the fastest way to learn if there had been any casualties in the CIA's raid.

However, before Sakura could move to get out of bed, the door to her room slid open. Automatically she glanced towards the sound, only to freeze as she recognized the person in the doorway.

Tsunade.

Her adopted mother was exactly how Sakura remembered her. She had long, blonde hair she had pulled back away from her face with the exception of a few strands that had escaped to frame her intelligent, hazel eyes. Tsunade was approaching sixty now, but her youthful face didn't look a day over fifty. She exuded authority and professionalism in her white doctor's coat, and in that instant, Sakura suddenly knew exactly where she was. Tsunade's hospital.

Her adopted mother didn't immediately speak as she stepped into the room flanked by two younger doctors, likely interns, but her expression was stern and clear: Sakura was to say nothing.

"I see you are finally awake," Tsunade said, her voice calm and professional. As if they were complete strangers. "Are you in any pain, Ms….?"

"Johnson," Sakura replied after a small hesitation. "Sarah Johnson." The most vague American name she could think of in that moment.

Tsunade glanced at one of her interns, ensuring the young male doctor wrote the name down in her file before she returned her attention to Sakura. "How's your pain now?"

"Manageable," Sakura replied on autopilot. She was still stunned to see her adopted mother before her so suddenly after these last few years of radio silence. Sakura couldn't tear her eyes away.

As if Tsunade was simply her surgeon, she stepped forward and began going through a normal examination of Sakura's injury, post-surgery. "You had some nasty shrapnel to your shoulder, but I was able to successfully remove all of it. The man who brought you in said you were hit by debris from a car accident across the street. Unfortunate place and time."

Sakura wondered what the actual chances of that happening were. It was probably the first thing Kakashi had thought of when the ER nurses had asked what happened. Sakura knew Tsunade knew it was a lie too. Her adopted mother was smart enough to know a fragmented bullet when she saw one, but she was lying to keep Sakura's cover. Both their covers. It was a lie to keep the police at bay.

"Do you know where he is now?" Sakura asked.

"I believe getting coffee. He should return shortly," Tsunade answered, examining the line in her IV for kinks. "The damage to your shoulder was fortunately minimal, but it will take several weeks to heal and some months of physical therapy to regain full use."

Tsunade turned away from her then, continuing her examination as she spoke to the interns, asking them questions and teaching them as she went along. All the while, Sakura kept her gaze on her, as if afraid if she even so much as blinked too long, Tsunade would vanish right before her eyes.

After a few minutes that seemed to stretch on for hours, the interns finally left. The room lapsed into silence as Tsunade scribbled notes down into her chart.

Eventually, Tsunade closed Sakura's chart. She capped her pen and slipped it into the front pocket of her coat before she finally met Sakura's gaze. "I've kept your gunshot wound quiet, but someone will recognize the injury soon. You need to leave before the police are called."

Sakura barely heard her. "Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in over three years."

"You had your mission," Tsunade replied, her hazel eyes unaffected. "The rest was for you to finish."

"And you didn't think I might need support to do that?" Sakura asked, her confusion evident. "I've been calling you. For months now. Why didn't you answer?"

"I taught you everything. I trained you to the best of my abilities. There was nothing more I could have done."

Sakura let out a laugh that was more incredulous and exasperated than humorous. "You could have been there."

"You were always meant to complete your mission alone."

"Yes, but-"

"Enough, Sakura," Tsunade interrupted. "We're finished here."

Her cold tone startled Sakura. She gave pause as Tsunade simply stared at her as if Sakura was nothing more than a boring piece of art. Slowly, one-by-one, the pieces began clicking into place. Cold dread filled Sakura as it dawned on her that she had put herself, Kakashi, Ino, Itachi in danger for a woman who saw her as nothing but a means to an end.

"You told Hashirama that you wanted a daughter, but he didn't give me to you because you couldn't have children," Sakura said, her voice accusatory but calm compared to the raging storm building within her. "You wanted someone to train. Someone to take care of Hashirama because you couldn't do it yourself. Not without getting caught."

Tsunade's face might as well have been carved from stone. "You did as directed. You completed your orders. You are released."

Those words were like a slap across the face, but Sakura wasn't given the chance to reply when the door to the room slid open again. It was Kakashi. He looked relieved to see her alert and conscious before he sensed the tension emanating from her. Concern briefly flickered behind his eyes before his gaze shifted to Tsunade.

She barely acknowledged him. Merely stepped towards the bed to mute the alarms on Sakura's monitor before she slipped the IV out of her arm. "Don't allow the nurses to see you when you leave," Tsunade told her.

Then she was gone. Out the door and out of Sakura's life. Perhaps forever.

Sakura could only sit there, her mouth slack and her eyes unfocused as she tried to process what had just happened. How everything she had believed her entire life could have shredded right before her eyes. It felt surreal, like a dream she couldn't escape from.

White, hot anger flooded her heart and filled her veins like lightning. Betrayal stung like acid in her chest. She wanted to punch something, shoot something. Her fingers itched to wrap around the grip of a gun. She wanted to burn New York City to the ground.

Then, like a bubble, all that rage popped until she was left with nothing but a sinking sadness that buried deeper and deeper into her soul. It wrapped around her like a blanket, tumbling so deep she didn't know if the feeling would ever leave her.

All those memories of her childhood burned bright in her mind's eye. The smile on Tsunade's face when she had brought Sakura home for the first time, her words of encouragement when Sakura failed and the pride in Tsunade's eyes when she had succeeded. Grief sunk into Sakura's chest like a heavy stone as she realized it had all been a lie. Tsunade had groomed Sakura to love and adore her until Sakura would do anything for the woman who had rescued her.

Sakura was certain she would have sat there in that hospital room, stuck in that single moment for the rest of her life, had the faint echo of footsteps not broken through her thoughts. She blinked back to herself as Kakashi stopped beside her bed. He looked like he wanted to reach out, but thought better of it.

"You okay?" he asked.

Sakura opened her mouth but not even a breath escaped. She didn't know if he meant physically or mentally, but it didn't matter. They needed to leave.

"We should get out of here," Sakura said instead, suddenly itching to be out from this cramped, suffocating room.

A ghost of a frown crossed his mouth, but then it was gone as he slipped the backpack off his shoulder she hadn't realized he had been carrying until now. Inside were a change of her clothes. He steadied her as she slipped into her jeans and shirt, the latter task he had to help her with after she realized she couldn't lift her arm more than a few inches without a great deal of pain. He hung her jacket over her shoulders, leaving her sleeves empty before he collected the rest of her things.

Then together, they slipped out of the hospital unnoticed.

xx

The pair drove in silence for some time. The hospital was over twenty miles out of New York City. Sakura didn't ask why Kakashi had taken her specifically to Tsunade. Had Sakura gone anywhere else the police would have been called, she would have been questioned and it would have led to a series of headaches that were best avoided from the beginning.

In the quiet, her mind rolled like heavy, thunder clouds. She replayed her conversation over with Tsunade, that piping hot rage sitting in her stomach like boiling water. Only to give way as her last moments with Itachi filled her memory. The hurt and betrayal and heartbreak in his eyes. She wondered if he had felt like she did now. Learning he had been used, he had been played.

Her stomach twisted sharply. The question of his fate hung heavy on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't find the courage to ask, afraid of the answer. Instead, she asked another burning question.

"What happened? After I was shot."

Kakashi didn't glance at her as he took the juncture to the next highway. "The CIA successfully took down Akatsuki. Everyone not killed was rounded up and arrested. Your plan to take out the major members of Akatsuki was a significant part in allowing the CIA to success. None of them showed with their men. Tobirama, Tenten and whoever else you called got them all. Everyone is dead but Kisame. He escaped to Egypt."

Sakura hummed at that. "Call Temari. I want eyes on him."

"You think he'll retaliate against you for trying to kill him?"

"Not on American soil, but yes."

Kakashi hummed his agreement. Then after a brief silence, he asked, "What about here? The Underground is in chaos. Now would be the perfect time to claim it."

She fell quiet as she considered that. With Akatsuki in shambles and Hashirama dead, the Underground had a lot of availability now. It would be the perfect opportunity for her to take over the Eastern Coast. Which she was going to do. Just not in the way Kakashi was expecting.

"Tell Tobirama to take control of Hashirama's assets. Tenten can have whatever territory is left over."

Kakashi shot her a look of surprise. "Why would you do that?" When she replied with a meaningful glance, it dawned on him. "Because then they both owe you favors. You can control the Eastern Coast without having to manage it yourself."

Sakura hummed her agreement.

"Then what will you do?" he asked.

Sakura thought about her next statement carefully. She thought about Tsunade's parting words, feeling that painful betrayal again. "I want you to spread the word that Tsunade is dead."

Kakashi glanced at her sharply until the tires bumped over the lane dividers on the highway. He jerked the wheel to straighten their course. "What? After all this, you're giving everything up?"

She shook her head. "No, just her," she said. Her voice was soft but she wasn't able to completely keep the bitterness out of her voice. "From now on, I will be known as Sakura. I won't give Tsunade the credit any longer."

He peered in her direction again but said nothing as they continued their drive. The pain in Sakura's shoulder was beginning to worsen as the drugs faded, but it paled in comparison to the ache in her chest, until she could no longer stand not knowing.

"Where's Itachi?" she asked quietly.

A heavy silence passed before Kakashi answered, "He was taken to a hospital under the CIA's protection. I spoke to my contacts there. He's alive," he said, causing hope to bloom in her chest. It died on his next words. "But he's in a coma. He took a bullet to the stomach. They don't know how well he'll recover yet or if he'll even…"

"Or if he'll even wake up," Sakura finished, feeling that hole in her heart slowly rip open little-by-little.

Kakashi peered at her, but she didn't dare look at him. She couldn't stand his pity at the moment. "I'm sorry, Sakura."

"Don't be," she murmured. "This is my fault. I did this."

They didn't speak the rest of the way to Sakura's apartment. Simply sat in silence as Kakashi steered them across the bridge and back into New York. Before them, the impressive skyline towered on the horizon, but Sakura didn't see. She was numb to the world around her. Exhausted, both physically and mentally.

It was only once her door opened that Sakura realized they were parked in her underground garage. Kakashi helped her out of her seat before he adjusted her jacket around her shoulders to hide the bulky bandages, lest anyone should pass them.

Blindly, Sakura allowed Kakashi to lead her through the building until they reached her apartment. Kakashi unlocked the door and closed it behind them as Sakura kicked off her shoes. She said nothing as she made a beeline for her bed, letting her jacket drop somewhere on the floor before she slipped under the covers.

Kakashi was at her side a minute later with a spare bottle of prescription pain meds she kept in her medicine cabinet. She popped two in her mouth and greedily sucked down the bottle of water he handed her before she curled up on her uninjured side, her back to him. He simply pulled the covers around her.

"Can I get you anything else?" Kakashi murmured.

Sakura thought of Itachi, but the image of him lying in some government hospital unconscious and hooked up to life support stole her voice. Swallowing, she shook her head. "No."

She vaguely heard him set something on her nightstand. A moment later, she realized it was her cell phone. "Call me if you need me."

She said nothing in reply. Merely stared at the wall on the other side of her bed as she listened to Kakashi's footsteps cross the room before the deadbolt slid back into place.

Sakura didn't know how long she laid there. The meds took the worst of the bite out of her injury and exhaustion weighed on her like a physical weight, but her mind refused to rest. Her thoughts kept replaying the events at the warehouse. She wondered how she could have changed things, what she could have done differently, but the look on Itachi's face wouldn't leave her. It was burned into her mind.

What had she done?

Curling further into herself, Sakura opened her mouth to let out a heavy sigh. What escaped instead was a shuddering breath. And before she could stop it, a wave of emotion washed through her, picking her up and sweeping her out the sea before the currents pulled her under. Her anguish spilled out of her until it clogged her throat and made it near impossible to breathe, filling every corner of her empty apartment.

Or so she thought.

For from the living room, Kakashi said silently on the couch. He listened to each sob that echoed from the bedroom, until the sun was high and exhaustion finally overcame them both. It would be nearly sunrise before they would wake again.

xx

Three weeks later…

Sakura blew the steam off her coffee mug. She waited until it was cool enough not to burn her tongue before she finally took a sip and deemed the flavor to her liking.

Inside the coffeehouse, businessmen and women were hurrying in and out. The little shop was tucked between a large bank and a high rise of offices, making it a popular stop for those on their way into a meeting. A woman stopped beside Sakura and dumped in an unhealthy amount of cream and sugar before she quickly left, apparently running late for something.

With her shoulder still recovering, Sakura had to do most things one-handed. She set her to-go cup down on the counter before she snapped the lid over the top. Before leaving, she checked her phone.

There was a new message from Tenten. She was still on time to getting her shipments dropped off. Tobirama would be back in town tonight to update Sakura on the other shipments leaving Cairo. His plane was to land a few hours after sundown.

Satisfied, Sakura pocketed her phone again before she grabbed her coffee and made for the exit. A man in a nice business suit held the door for her, smiling something a little too friendly as he looked her purposely. Sakura was hardly fazed. She merely returned the smile before she slipped by without a word.

On the sidewalk, she paused to look for Kakashi's car as she took a sip of her coffee. She didn't know where Kakashi had gone in the morning rush, but she waited patiently. Ever since he had picked her up from the hospital, he had hardly left her side. He would be there soon.

Lowering her coffee cup, Sakura gazed about the downtown streets lazily. After a few minutes with no sight of Kakashi, she made to shuffle her coffee into her still-healing arm to pull out her phone when something caught her eye.

No, not something. Someone.

It was Shisui. He was standing across the busy street, leaning against the side of a sleek, black Lexus. She recognized it as Itachi's. But it wasn't the car that caught her notice. It was Shisui himself. He looked terrible. Absolutely haggard with dark circles under his eyes and his skin a little too pale, even for a New Yorker. He looked like he hadn't slept, hadn't eaten in weeks.

And like a candle blowing out in the wind, the warmth left Sakura's body. She knew what had happened.

They had pulled the plug on Itachi.

She couldn't explain how she knew it from that single look from Shisui, but she was absolutely certain. Itachi was gone.

As if someone had pressed pause on the television, everything stilled. The people around them, the cars on the city streets. The entire world stopped and held its breath.

Then Shisui turned away and slipped into Itachi's Lexus. Without a single word, he simply drove away, leaving Sakura alone on the busy sidewalk, the coffee in her cup tasting like mud and ash. The grey city seemed to become even dimmer, like all color had drained out of the world.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Sakura pushed herself to focus on her work, getting shipments ordered, organized and delivered. Her day was over before she realized it and she was forced to face her new reality.

She sent Kakashi away. He had been confused but he didn't deny her request, and for the first time since she had been shot, Sakura was alone.

She sat in the kitchen chair she had pulled up to the window and sipped on tequila as she tried her best not to think about the shirt in the back of her closet – the one that smelled like Itachi – until suddenly, she realized she was drunk. Apparently, chain-drinking did that.

The urge to give in, to wrap herself up in the last bit of clothing that reminded her of his gentle kisses and tender touch, nearly overwhelmed her, and likely would have if her phone hadn't abruptly pinged.

It was from Tobirama. He had landed.

Suddenly, Sakura had a far worse idea.

Less than an hour later, a taxi dropped Sakura off in Queens in front of a large house with tall, iron gates. The guard had let her in on-sight, allowing the driver to pull up the well-lit, circular drive to stop before the great mansion.

As Sakura stepped out of the cab, she admired the home. Tobirama had made a few modifications, including more lights that accentuated the stone work. It looked much classier than when Hashirama had lived there.

At the door, a butler greeted her and accepted her jacket. He made himself scarce when Tobirama appeared at the banister and descended the stairs. His hair was still damp from a shower, and he had changed into a grey sweater and a nice pair of cotton, white pants after his flight. Something comfortable but classy lest someone dropped in late. Someone like her.

"Sakura," Tobirama greeted. His tone was welcoming but obviously curious. "I wasn't expecting you tonight. Is everything alright?"

She had tried to fill the gaping hole in her chest with tequila, but she smiled nonetheless, hoping she appeared more sober than she felt. "Yes. I hope I'm not intruding."

His confusion lingered, but he gestured for her to follow him anyway. He led her to the very den she had sat with Hashirama before. Only now it felt different. Less intimidating and more focused. Like an actual office should be.

Inside, a maid was dusting a tall painting of a beautiful forest with horses grazing in the middle. As soon as the worker saw them enter, she quickly stepped off her stool and excused herself, taking the folding steps with her.

Sakura didn't pay her much mind. Instead she gazed at the painting as she briefly wondered what its significance was. It certainly hadn't been there while Hashirama lived there, but the thought was fleeting. She turned away when she heard Tobirama pull out two crystal glasses before he poured a couple of fingers in each.

Only after they made themselves comfortable on the lush, leather couch across the room did he finally ask, "Are you really so keen to know how my trip to Egypt went?"

Frankly, Sakura couldn't care less about Cairo at the moment, but for pretenses, she inclined her head.

They sipped their whiskey as Tobirama updated her. He informed her of Temari's success in seamlessly taking over Akatsuki's old territory and contacts, and Tobirama's latest attempt to track down Madara's whereabouts. Of course, it had led to another dead end like it had for the last several weeks.

"I know the bastard was there," Tobirama told her, a small frown on his lips. "But he slipped out before I could track him down."

"Do you suspect where he went?" she asked.

"Hong Kong."

Sakura hummed in reply as she sipped more of her drink. The whiskey settled warmly in her stomach, but it did nothing to ease the cold in her chest.

"Once I get my shipments squared away here, I can go there and follow his trail-"

"No," she shook her head, much to Tobirama's surprise. "Let him stay there."

His brows furrowed. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Madara has contacts there that neither of us have. If we go after him, he'll have us killed on-sight," she told him, briefly studying the amber liquid in her glass. "There's one thing I'm certain of and it's that Madara wants both of us dead; for what we did to Akatsuki and for what we did to Izuna. Let him come to us when he finally decides he can't live in a world with us in it. For now, he can rot in his hole."

She finished her statement by swallowing the rest of her drink in one large gulp. Then she stood to place the glass on the desk, out of the way.

"And in the meantime, what do we do?" Tobirama asked.

Sakura turned back around to face him upon his question. She didn't reply as she eyed him, taking in his relaxed form as he lounged on the leather sofa. The hand grasping his whiskey rested on the arm of the couch while the other rested beside his thigh.

In this setting, he was more handsome than she could ever remember him being. Money looked good on him. And so did she, she decided.

"I'm sure we can think of something," Sakura replied. Her hand skimmed up the front of her blouse until she found the top button. Then she popped it open.

Tobirama's glass stilled halfway to his mouth as she approached him. Automatically his gaze was drawn to her cleavage as it was slowly exposed to his viewing. He swallowed thickly before he made a point of meeting her gaze.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice carefully controlled.

Sakura shot him a look as if he had asked the dumbest question in the world before she dropped her shirt to the floor and slipped into his lap. Even with only her lacy, wine-colored bra keeping her decent, his eyes never left hers. He stubbornly kept his hands by his sides.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Sakura countered smoothly.

Something akin to a scowl crossed his face. "I thought we had agreed this was a bad idea."

Her hands settled on the firm muscles of his chest as her gaze briefly flickered down to his mouth before meeting his gaze once more. When she spoke, her voice had turned soft to something almost vulnerable. "Don't you ever wish we could go back to the way we started? Before everything got so complicated."

An unusually serious expression crossed Tobirama's face. His gaze searched hers, as if wondering where they would be now if things between them hadn't ended so abruptly. She didn't know what he saw in her eyes – if he saw anything at all – but then he was downing the rest of his whiskey. He set the glass aside before he twisted a hand into her hair and forced her mouth to meet his.

There was nothing gentle about the way Tobirama held her. He secured an arm around her waist before he picked her up and laid her against the soft leather of the couch, careful of her still-healing shoulder. As soon as she was settled, he was on her again, his knee pressing into the space between her legs as he bit a path down her throat. A sharp gasp escaped her when he found a sensitive spot, but the noise was quickly muffled as he crushed his mouth against hers again.

His kiss felt like drowning. Like she was being pulled beneath the current, her head inches or perhaps miles below the surface. She didn't know if it eased or just numbed the pain in her chest, but she had the fleeting thought that if it could distract her from her grief if only for a few minutes, then she would take everything she could.

Just as the world had taken everything from her.

tbc…

Yikes, hopefully you guys aren't too mad at me ha. Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

We are down to just the Epilogue. Almost there!