Chapter 6

Kyoya sat at his desk listening to the teacher talk the class through a difficult math problem. He was focused on the explanation and working through the problem in his notebook. Watching the teacher's hand move across the board, he felt a strange tingle run up his body. He couldn't say where it came from, but it certainly wasn't pleasant. Heat flushed his face and the inside of his body twitched. He had to take deep breaths and concentrate on the fact that class was almost over, and he would be out of the desk soon. It was a long fifteen minutes until the lunch bell rang.

He felt better once he was in the corridor. He wondered what that strange feeling had been. It was gone now, so he mentally shrugged and followed the flow of students towards the dinning hall.

The hall was full of its usual buzz and clatter as students swirled around greeting friends, carrying plates, and finding seats. Kyoya paused by the lunch counter to scan the menu. He had hardly eaten at breakfast, yet he found that he still didn't have an appetite. He turned away thinking that we would just head back to the classroom when someone came up and grabbed his hand. Startled, he jumped and wrenched his hand away, curling it into a fist.

Honey was there smiling up at him. "Kyo-chan, Takashi and I have a table over there." The boy pointed to the far side of the room. "Would you like to come sit with us?"

Without waiting for an answer, Honey took hold of Kyoya's hand and led him to the table. Feeling flustered, Kyoya allowed himself to be guided through the crowd. Mori was waiting at the table wolfing down a heaping plate of food. He paused as Kyoya and Honey sat down.

"Not eating?" he asked Kyoya.

"I'm not hungry."

Mori picked up a banana from his tray and set it in front of Kyoya.

"Thank you, but I don't—" Kyoya made to hand it back but the look Mori gave him made him hesitate and pull it back.

Mori watched Kyoya peel the fruit. Satisfied that he was going to eat it, Mori turned back to his own lunch.

"How was the book?" Mori asked between mouthfuls.

Kyoya understood what he was really asking. "Good. You were right, it helped. Thank you."

"Kyoya!"

Kyoya jumped in his seat as Tamaki clapped him on the shoulder.

"I was looking everywhere for you. You disappeared out of the classroom so fast," said Tamaki pulling up a chair to sit next to his friend.

"Yes, I can imagine that it must have been difficult to figure out that I would be in the dinning hall at lunchtime," was Kyoya's dry reply. He rubbed his temple in irritation. He was getting sick of being startled by things around him. He needed to stop being so jumpy.

"I just wanted to see if everyone could stay a little bit later after club time this afternoon," said Tamaki. "I want to talk about a new cosplay idea."

Kyoya sighed and pushed his glasses up on his bridge of his nose while Tamaki rambled on. It wasn't that he had forgotten about the scheduled club time after school, so much as he had been avoiding thinking about it. The very thought of having to put on charisma and charm for vapid schoolgirls exhausted him. It will be fine, he thought to himself. Remember that Host Club is something you enjoy doing.

"Okay, I'm going to go find Haruhi and the twins and let them know about the late meeting." Tamaki stood up from the table giving Kyoya a chuck on the shoulder that caused the dark-haired boy to flinch. "I'll see you guys later."

Wanting to get out of the crowded dinning hall, Kyoya nodded a farewell to Honey and Mori and hurried back to the quite classroom. Alone, he took off his glasses and put his head down on his desk until the bell signaled the return of his classmates.

The Host Club was at full capacity that afternoon. Each of the members had a full slate of clients and the room buzzed with cheerful chatter. The twins were playing a game where the girls got to measure their heights, each brother insisting they were taller than the other. Tamaki had pulled out his old standby of looking longingly into each of his clients' eyes while whispering lovely phrases. Tucked in beside Mori, Honey was having the ladies help him write a haiku about bunnies.

Kyoya put on a fake smile for the girls seated around him and sipped tea while they chatted amongst themselves. A knot had settled in his stomach that afternoon and he hoped that some chamomile would bring him a little relief. Across the table, Haruhi was picking up his conversational slack. Normally he would have felt bad for not putting in his fair share of effort, but Haruhi didn't seem to mind, or even notice, that she was carrying him today.

Out of nowhere, it began to happen again. The same uncomfortable tingle and alarming rush of heat from before. Something terrible was about to happen, he could feel doom descending. This time his fight or flight reflex responded. Without saying a word, he stood up from his seat and walked out of the room.

In the hallway, he headed towards the bathroom. He began to feel dizzy. He struggled another ten steps before sinking to the floor. His chest was tight. Something was squeezing his heart. He tried to scratch at it, to dig it out. But it was unreachable. It was too deep.

I'm going to pass out and not wake up, he thought. He curled up on the hard marble floor clutching at his chest. Hot tears streamed down is face. He couldn't breath. His throat was closing up.

"Kyoya-senpai?" Haruhi poked her head out of the club room door. "Senpai, are you—" She caught sight of Kyoya's balled up form down the corridor. "Senpai!" She rushed down the hall to kneel beside him. She was shocked to see him crying, his face a mask of terror.

"I'm having a heart attack," he gasped. "I'm dying."

"I'll get Tamaki!" Haruhi stood up to run back to the room but stopped when Kyoya grabbed her.

"Don't leave me," he sobbed. "Please, Haruhi."

Torn, she looked down at Kyoya's distressed face, then back towards the club room. Taking his hand in both of hers, she knelt back down. "Kyoya-senpai, I'm going to go get help. I'll be right back. I promise."

"Please. Haruhi."

She couldn't tell if he understood what she had said, but releasing his hand, she raced back to the room, bursting through the door. "Senpai! Come quick! It's Kyoya-senpai!"

Tamaki leapt up from his seat so fast that the girl he was canoodling with fell over. With unexpected grace he jumped over the coffee table to the door and flew down the hallway. He found his friend writhing on the floor, crying hysterically.

"It hurts. I'm going to die."

"You are not dying, Kyoya." Tamaki pulled Kyoya up and leaned him back against the wall. Kyoya knew he was having a heart attack. He knew he was going to die.

"You're having a panic attack," said Tamaki. "You need to calm down and breath,"

He couldn't breath. He didn't know how. This couldn't just be a panic attack. It hurt too much. It was too terrifying to be something so benign.

"Look, Kyoya, look what I have for you." Tamaki reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pen. He held it upright between their faces. "Look at this. It's a beautiful flower."

What was he taking about? thought Kyoya. It wasn't a flower, it was just a stupid pen.

"It's a flower, Kyoya. Let's smell the flower together, okay?" Tamaki took a big breath in through his nose as if he were smelling the lovely sent of a rose. He flipped the pen over in his fingers. "Now it's a candle. See, Kyoya? Let's blow out the candle. Ready?" Tamaki released a long, slow breath from his mouth. He flipped the pen again. "Now, let's smell the flower again. Do it with me, Kyoya."

Kyoya did his best to follow his friend's breathing. It was difficult, but it helped to visualize the flower and the candle as Tamaki switched between them. Slowly, his breathing became more regular. The pain in his chest faded away. He felt frayed and drained. Taking off his glasses, he used his sleeve to wipe away the embarrassing tears from his cheeks.

Replacing his glasses, he was surprised to notice that the other Host Club members were there surrounding him. Haruhi and Honey were kneeling on either side of Tamaki, above them Mori and the twins were standing facing outwards, guarding against any curious spectators.

"I'm going to go get the school nurse," said Haruhi getting to her feet.

"No!" The urgency of his voice surprised even Kyoya. He took another deep breath. "Please, don't. I'm fine now. I'm sorry for causing a commotion. I'm not sure what came over me." Leaning forward, he shivered and wrapped his arms around his upset stomach.

Tamaki shrugged out of his blazer and slung it around Kyoya's shoulders. "It's okay, you just got scared, that's all."

"Scared?" said Kyoya. "I'm not scared. What do I have to be afraid of?"

Tamaki smiled at this friend and rubbed his arm. "You're scared from the attack. It's okay to feel like that."

Kyoya stared at his friend in disbelief. Scared from the attack? That happened nearly five days ago. How could it be causing him to panic now?

"That's absurd," he said climbing to his feet. "No one is going to try and kidnap me from the middle of Ouran Academy. Besides," the volume of Kyoya's voice began to rise. "Those goons that tried to grab me are all in jail right now. How could I possibly be afraid of them? It's ridiculous." He pulled Tamaki's jacket off his shoulders and shoved it back at him. "I'm fine, okay. I'm just overtired from being dragged to stupid sleepover parties and forced to go running." He shouldered his way through the group and headed down the hallway.

"Kyoya, where are you going?" called Tamaki.

"Obviously I'm going home!" he shouted back in anger.

The group stood in stunned silence as they watched him disappear down the corridor.

"I told you he's a prick," said Hikaru, folding his arms across his chest. Kaoru turned and punched his brother in the shoulder.

"Kyo-chan's emotions aren't logical," said Honey. "He doesn't understand why he feels the way he does. By not acknowledging what's causing his anxiety, he's not able to work to control it."

"But his father is a doctor, right?" asked Haruhi. "He'll be able to help Kyoya-senpai, don't you think?"

"He hasn't told his father," said Mori.

"I should have known," Tamaki let out a loud sigh. "Things are worse than I thought."