Luke wondered if he could ever put into words the kind of panic he felt when Noah's life was at risk. The last time he had felt like this was the night Noah's father tried to kill his son. And before that when he had watched helpless as Noah fell from the university rooftop. And even before that, when he thought Noah might bleed to death from a gunshot wound received during that kidnapping.
It was a special breed of blind panic, a feeling of utter helplessness; that rushed over him in wave after wave of mind numbing pain and caused him to turn in on himself; so that at the moment the only movement he could muster came from his fingers, as they stroked the black curls of the child. Black curls so familiar… so similar to HIS, that if he were to close his eyes, he could almost imagine that they were. He sat solid and still, staring wide eyed ahead of him at the cold white hospital wall across the corridor. The boy was curled asleep in the seat next to him, the tiny head on his lap.
He had been distantly aware of a policeman's attempts to question him about the incident. 'The incident'. That's what they called it… as though it was just another event… just another every day occurrence. He had wanted to cry… he still wanted to cry… but the child was too afraid to go to strangers and Luke had to remain strong for him. He had to hold back his own fear to pacify the boy. Tell him Noah was fine. Noah wasn't feeling very well. The doctors would make Noah better and then they could all go home. He prayed fate wouldn't turn his words into lies.
The world suddenly seemed very small when all you could hear was the sound of your own breathing. He knew there must be other noises. It was a hospital for god's sake! But his body felt disused, dysfunctional. He didn't know how much longer he could contain his alarm. If it hadn't been for the child he would have lost it already.
His left hand suddenly started to shiver. He tensed up even more, fighting it back. No! Not yet! His heart pounded furiously and he wondered if he looked as frightened as he felt. It was as though somebody had planted a bomb in the middle of his life and now the timer was ringing. And all he could do was hope the doctors would cut the right wire and stop the detonation.
He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up blankly into the worried eyes of Maddie. He didn't even feel surprised to see her. Her lips formed his name but he couldn't hear her speak. He struggled to find his voice and eventually managed, "Can… you… take… him… please?"
As soon as the weight of the baby left his legs he stood up and made his staggered path away from them down the corridor. Every so often he would stop and press his hand up against the wall to steady himself, breathe and regain control, passing exam room after exam room until, eventually, he found an empty one where he collapsed to the floor, and momentarily freed from the responsibility of the child, released the horrendous scream that had been constricting his lungs since the moment Noah collapsed. He hugged his shins and buried his face against his knees as he expelled the tears and solid sobs that burnt his throat.
"No… No… No…" He repeated in tiny whispers whilst he rocked himself back and forth.
He felt strong, solid and warm arms wrap around him and he drank the comfort in, even thought he felt guilty for accepting it! "It's all my fault! It's all my fault!" he repeated.
"No… shh… it's not your fault Luke…"
Looking up he realised the arms belonged to Jonathan. "It was supposed to be me!" he sobbed, "It was my drink! It's ME they wanted! ME!" Then screaming, "WHY! WHY! WHY!"
He punched his hand into the hard hospital floor with each exclamation forcing Jonathan to grab at it, but Luke struggled with him until Jonathan yelled, "Stop! Stop, Luke! It won't help, okay? It won't help him!"
A passing nurse rushed into the room to check on the commotion and Jonathan asked, "Can you give him something, please?"
She quickly withdrew a syringe and bottle from her pocket, filled the vile, tapped it and expertly injected Luke as he continued to writhe. Finally Luke stopped fighting and his body went limp as he whimpered. Jonathan straddled him and held him tight until, in the end, the exhaustion overtook him and he fell to sleep.
...
If Luke kept his eyes closed then he was home. He was home wrapped up in their bed. And HE was right there, fast asleep next to him. He clung to that even as the smell of ammonia and medication mockingly wafted up his nose and the intercom loudly paged a Dr Roberts to Oncology. But eventually he had to allow the reality to sink in. A tear escaped his closed eye and he felt the tickle as it rolled down the dent of his nose to pool at the tip and finally drop off his face.
A small movement against his cheek was the final catalyst to this eyes opening and he found the small child curled on the bed beside him, the little fingers stroking softly at his face. The boy stared up at Luke soulfully with those blue eyes. Noah's eyes…
Luke smiled sadly at him and drew him into a hug, kissing the top of his tiny head.
"He woke up with your friend last night and we couldn't calm him." Luke startled at the voice and he turned to see a familiar face standing by his bedside. Nurse Maggie, the same nurse who had taken such good care of Noah and him after the episode with the Colonel, smiled sweetly at them. "Until we brought him in here that is. The moment he saw you, he curled up next to you on that bed and has been there, good as gold, ever since."
Luke swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. A few more tears dropped down his cheek, "Maggie?" he closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, needing desperately to know but at the same time too afraid to ask. "Please tell me he's okay…"
She stroked and then kissed his forehead, "He's going to be just fine…"
"AH," It came out of him in a loud relieved breath, "God!"
She allowed him to fall forward and rest his forehead on her shoulder as she peacefully rubbed his head. "They managed to pump most of the poison out of his system. He'll even be able to go home by this afternoon."
"Can I see him?"
"Of course you can. He should wake up soon. I hope you don't mind that I called your friend, Maddie? Her name was down as Noah's alternate next of kin. You were in such a state that I thought it best to phone her… just in case."
"It's amazing that you called her! I don't know what would have happened if they hadn't shown up last night so thanks! Are they still here?"
"They've been in the waiting room all night. She's worried sick."
Luke stood, sniffed and rubbed his eyes before turning to the boy and trying to smile as reassuringly as he could. "Come on." The child reached up to him and Luke lifted him up and carried him out of the room behind the nurse.
Maddie flew up from the waiting room chair at the sight of them, "Luke? Have you heard anything? Is he okay?"
Luke accepted her quick hug, "He's going to be fine. I'm just on my way to see him…"
"Oh thank god! I'm so sorry!"
Luke nodded, "Can you do me a massive favour and just watch him for a while?"
"Sure!" And then addressing the child she asked, "Hello. We didn't get properly introduced last night did we? My name's Maddie. What's your name?"
The boy buried his face into Luke's neck.
"Maddie is mine and Noah's very best of friend! Luke whispered in his ear, "And she is so lovely and kind and she won't hurt you, okay?" The child examined Luke's face and then turned to study Maddie. "How about you sit here at this table and draw? I'm sure the nice nurse here can find you some crayons…" Luke looked hopefully over at Maggie.
"Yes of course!" she replied and rooted around behind the nurse's station coming back with a pencil case which she handed to him. It took him a moment, but eventually he couldn't resist and he reached out to take the case from her. Luke sat him down and the nurse left a packet of printing paper next to him.
"I'll be right back, okay?" Luke assured him.
The boy nodded and immediately began to draw.
"Where's Jonathan?" He asked Maddie.
"He went for coffee. He should be back soon."
"Thanks… I'm really glad you're here! Both of you!"
She smiled, "You know we'll always be there for you guys! Now get going!"
Jonathan showed up with the coffee just in time to catch Luke following the nurse down the corridor towards Noah's room. "He looks a lot better!"
"Yes, Noah's going to be okay." She took the coffee cup from him, "Thanks."
"I see he settled the child in here as well. Did he say anything about who he is?"
"Shoot!" Maddie exclaimed.
"What is it?"
"He didn't tell me the boy's name!"
...
Luke knew Noah's room immediately because the police guard stood outside.
"Fat lot of use they turned out to be!" Luke thought bitterly.
He thanked Maggie for showing him the way and entered, closing the door softly behind him.
Noah slept peacefully. If a stranger were to see him, they would be none the wiser as to how close he had come to death. Luke marvelled with bitterness at the way he had yet again acted recklessly and thereby, unintentionally, put Noah's life in danger…
Luke shuddered as he walked over to the bedside. He pulled up a stool and sat resting his elbows on the bed, his hands clasped together as though in prayer. He pressed is lips up against his interlaced fingers and took a deep breath of relief, his eyes never once straying from Noah's face.
"Idiot!" He told himself as he cupped his mouth in his hand, "You're such an idiot!"
He sniffed profoundly and then gently, almost as though examining a delicate feather, he lifted Noah's left hand in his and brought the warm skin up to his rest against his lips, careful not to disturb the drip line feeding into the veins. He butterfly kissed the hand a few times as silent tears fell, "You know?" he began, rubbing the hand between his fingers, "I remember it clearly… even now… our first kiss? I remember how your lips felt… how they tasted..." He let out a breath as the memory brought feelings to the surface that almost overwhelmed him. "Until then, I never knew my heart could beat so hard and so fast. I never knew how much I could want somebody else. And I knew in that moment that no matter what happened, I'd love you forever… That I wanted to protect you forever…" he reached over to smooth Noah's hair and bent to kiss his forehead. He pressed his cheek to Noah's, "I love you Noah! God, but I just love you so much!"
"I love you too baby." replied a weak voice from under him.
Luke sagged into Noah and kissed the side of his neck before lifting up to soak in those blue eyes and kiss those rose lips, grasping at wisps of his hair. Noah smiled tiredly up at him and lifted his right hand to Luke's sad face.
"Hi." Breathed Luke, "Man, but you just gave me such a scare! How are you feeling?"
"Just tired…" They stared at each other for a moment until Noah looked around urgently, "Where's…?"
"He's fine…" Luke assured him quickly, "Maddie and Jonathan are here. He's outside with them."
Noah sighed and then frowned as he asked, "What was it?"
Luke looked down at their hands, "Poison…"
Noah's face fell as realisation hit him, "It was meant for you…"
Luke nodded but he couldn't hold back a flash of anger and determination that Noah knew well and he quickly protested, "Promise me Luke? Promise me now that you won't go looking for trouble because of this?"
"How can you ask that? This is my fault Noah! This is because of ME! I HAVE to do something!"
"No Luke! This is because of Damian! This is a situation that he put into play! You've already involved yourself too much! You're way over your head… Can't you see that? They're not just trying to frighten you anymore Luke! This time they tried to kill you! This time they wanted you dead!" Noah squeezed Luke's hand at the thought and then wondered aloud, "Why? What happened to make them change tactics so drastically?"
Luke shook his head. "I don't know… but…"
"What? What is it…" and when Luke paused, "Come on Luke! Now's not the time to be holding out on me, okay?"
"I saw Julius yesterday…"
"Who's that?"
"He's the man I hired to infiltrate the family suspected of orchestrating all of this. Yesterday he said something… it was odd…"
"What did he say?"
"He said I didn't need to worry about them anymore… that he'd taken care of it."
"Fuck, Luke! What the hell did he mean by that?"
Luke was fearfully tearing up again, "I'm sorry…"
"Tell the police! Tell them everything you know..." Noah's right hand grabbed at Luke's shoulder, "Please! I can't lose you…"
Luke collapsed over Noah and buried his sobbing face into Noah's neck, "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry… I never meant to put you through all of this!"
"Shh, please don't cry…" Noah smoothed Luke's back and pressed him close.
"I didn't… protect you!" Luke cried, "I should… have been… more careful…" He found it difficult to speak through the weeping, "It's my job! It's my job to keep you safe!"
Noah held him and let him weep. Their emotions were running too high at that moment for them to deal with the serious problem of how they could resolve the situation. Somehow Luke had gone from being a businessman this family needed something from; to some sort of threat to them… such a serious threat that they now had a hit out on him. After spending hours and hours watching mob and gangster stories, Noah never imaged in his wildest dreams that they'd end up living their own version of one.
Luke had just sat up and wiped his eyes when there was a knock at the door and a wiry man in police uniform stood in the doorway with an uneasy disposition. Behind him they could just make out yet another police officer waiting in the corridor.
"Mr Luke Snyder?" The man asked.
Luke and Noah exchanged a penetrating look.
"Yes, that's me. Can I help you?"
"Sir, I need to ask you to step outside please."
"What for?" asked Luke, stunned, "If this is about last night, I'm kind of busy right now…" and he gestured towards Noah, "Can it not wait until I'm finished?"
"I'm sorry sir, but I must insist."
"What is this about?" Noah queried.
The officer studied Noah's positing in the hospital bed before saying, "Mr Snyder, I really do suggest that we take this conversation outside of this room."
"Look officer! I don't know exactly why you're here, but anything you have to say, you can say in front of Noah."
The officer sighed, obviously feeling extremely uncomfortable. Finally he stepped further into the room, "I'm sorry to have to do this at such a distressing time, but I have a warrant for your arrest."
"What?" The word left Noah's lips like he'd been punched in the stomach.
"A warrant?" Luke repeated, "For me?"
"Why?" Noah was suddenly clinging hard to Luke's hand, an ominous feeling soaking through him.
"You are being arrested on suspicion of involvement in murder." Both Luke and Noah's mouths dropped open, "You have the right to remain silent." The officer moved fast and before either of them could blink his partner had joined him and Luke was being yanked up from the stool, "Anything you say can and will be used…"
"Murder? Wait!" Noah panicked as the rights were read out. His heart rate peaked within seconds and the monitor he was still connected to began to beep uncontrollably causing three nurses, one of which was Maggie, to tear into the room.
"What the hell do you men think you're doing?" Maggie chastised sternly as she eyed the police officer cuffing Luke's hands behind his back. "This is a hospital!"
"… Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?" the officer continued paying no attention to the angry nurse and seeming to accept Luke's dazed nod as agreement.
Luke and Noah's eyes stayed connected throughout… blue and hazel brimming with tears, fear and confusion.
In the meantime Maggie's colleagues were checking an alarmed Noah who could hardly believe what was happening.
"No!" He shouted, "You've got it all wrong! You've made a mistake!"
"Mr Mayer! You need to relax!" said one of the nurses, trying to keep Noah in the bed.
Luke, seeing his distress, turned to the officer and pleaded, "Can you give us a minute please? Just one minute?"
The officer surveyed the situation and obviously decided there was no harm in it because he motioned to his larger partner and they left the room. Luke, hands still secured behind his back… heart thumping in his chest… waited for Maggie to usher the nurses out of the room and leave them alone.
"Luke?" Noah's voice was breathy, "What…?"
Luke shook his head, "I don't know…"
"I won't let them take you like this! I won't!" Another tear joined those already shed.
Luke walked over to him and bent to kiss him deeply on the lips as Noah grabbed his face desperately.
"I love you…" Luke said, "Stay calm okay? It's a misunderstanding! So I'll go with them now and I'll clear things up at the station. Then I'll see you back at home later…"
Noah kissed him again, hard on the lips, just as the door opened and the officer stepped forward to take him.
"You need to stay strong for the boy, okay?" Luke reminded him.
"Okay, I promise. I love you!"
"Can we go out the back way please?" Luke asked the officer without looking away from Noah, "Our kid's out there and I don't want him to see me like this…"
The officer nodded and Noah was left to watch in powerless horror as Luke was escorted from the room.
Please let me know what you think!