Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 480

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #77
Submitted By: MagicGirl11
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Dear Ministry,

YOU EFFING MORONS! You think you're going to get us to follow this stupid law and marry someone you set for us? You allowed this war to happen, and now you want me to come back? We left Britain for peace. Now you want us to come back? IDIOTS!

(This part is a howler)

From Alex:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY MALFOY?! I CAN'T STAND HIM! HE'S A FUCKING MORON! ALSO, I LEFT BRITAIN! YOUR LAWS DON'T APPLY TO ME ANYMORE! SO YOU IDIOTS, LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HAVING MALFOY AND PARKINSON TURN UP AT MY HOUSE WHEN I'M NOT A BRITISH CITIZEN! I'M A AMERICAN, AND WOULD BE WELL WITHIN MY RIGHTS TO COMPLAIN TO THE MAUSCA ABOUT BRITAIN! I'M HAPPILY MARRIED TO TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE, AND AM THE ONLY REASON THAT VOLDEMORT IS NOT TERRORIZING BRITAN RIGHT NOW! HOWEVER, THAT COULD CHANGE QUITE EASILY! ALSO, I'M PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD!

From Marvolo:
YOU IDIOTS! I HAD TO FORCIBLY RESTRAIN ALEXANDRIA FROM DESTROYING BRITAIN! YOU ALSO TAUGHT ME WHY I SHOULD HAVE KEPT FIGHTING! IDIOTS!

From Harry:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY PANSY PARKINSON?! IDIOT! SHE'S A IDIOT TOO! F**** YOU! I LOVE HERMIONE! AND WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWO YEARS!

From Hermione:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY RON?! WE MAY BE FRIENDS, BUT I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HIM! I'M HAPPILY MARRIED ANYWAY! I LOVE HARRY! AND I'M PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD! I'M OFF THE MARKET! AND HAVE BEEN FOR TWO YEARS! THE LAW IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE ELIGIBLE AND AVAILABLE, NOT MARRIED!

From Ron:
YOU WANT ME TO MARRY HERMIONE?! WE'RE FRIENDS! BUT WE WON'T BE HAPPY MARRIED! F*** YOU!

From all of them:
We're done. We're never coming back. F*** you.

From Alex:
Oh, my grandmother, Queen Titania and grandfather King Oberon are really pissed at you. Leave us alone.

Sincerely,
Lady Alexandria Slytherin nee Potter (Formerly the Girl-Who-Lived, although that's crap), Lord Tom Marvolo Slytherin, Lord Harry Potter, Lady Hermione Potter nee Granger, and Ron Weasley.

Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by MagicGirl11. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol