HE entered the lavish bedroom like HE always did. Expressionless. Silent. HIS golden eyes surveyed the room with the usual disinterest and HE sniffed once before running HIS hand through HIS shiny hair. It was a hot day and Troy's mouth watered at the way HIS work shirt clung seductively to HIS back, highlighting the thick set of his shoulder blades. He loved the way the ends of HIS curls were damp against HIS neck.

"I only have an hour before my next meeting so…" HE spoke matter-of-factly as HE turned and simultaneously pulled at the shirt that was neatly tucked into his trousers, periodically revealing tantalising areas of stomach skin and muscle and hair. Troy burned to touch HIM.

Troy nodded without emotion. HE knew the drill. No talking. Just action. HE removed his t-shirt and unbuckled the belt, his jeans instantly sagging around his skinny waistline. HE knew he'd lost weight. Lately it had become difficult to eat. Actually it had slowly become difficult to do anything except suffer the throb in the pit of his stomach and the ache in HIS heart. HE had fallen. Oh yes! HE had fallen hard. And now all he could do was wait for these moments, few and far between, but necessary, like breathing! Usually HE could just buy what HE needed, but money couldn't get HIM this… money couldn't buy HIM.

Troy watched spellbound as the man of his dreams freed the last button of HIS blue collared shirt and HE was just about to pull the material from HIS back when Troy held up his hands and said, "Let me."

The blonde eyed him for a moment, frowning, but then relented and waited, inert, arms at his sides, for Troy to reverently remove the shirt sleeves. As he moved around HIS back Troy came face to face with HIM and pure desire shot through him like a bullet. He wanted to kiss this man. He wanted to lay a kiss on those soft lips more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life, but he didn't. He never had. By now he knew the rules… unspoken… unwritten on any surface he knew of, but existing just the same.

"You're really tense." Troy whispered, swallowing hard. He was always afraid to make the wrong move. Say the wrong thing. If he did the blonde would leave. HE'd left before. "Lie down and I'll give you a massage."

There was a hare's breath when he thought he'd made a mistake, but then he let the air go when the blonde lay, muscled back up, on the black satin sheets of Troy's king size bed. Troy almost tripped as he rushed to join HIM, rubbing his hands together with a blob of Vaseline from the jar by the bed and then smoothing them first up each of HIS thighs then pushing up between HIS legs ever so slightly, the blonde's gasp his reward; and then to HIS back, running his thumbs up HIS spine to HIS shoulder blades. Then, knees straddling HIM, he went expertly to work at the knots in HIS back, paying careful attention to each tense spot, pressing his fingers hard with practised precision. He had performed this act countless of times before. He had used this skill to seduce countless men and women. But none of them, not a one, had ever left him feeling like this.

Lost.

Confused.

Alone.

But he only had himself to blame. He had been the one to seduce HIM. He had sought HIM out, pursued HIM relentlessly, never letting up, sensing the danger within HIM, the buried emotions HE was trying to escape from. The buried emotions Troy used to his advantage. He had promised HIM this world with no feelings. Just two friends (where they even that?) and an occasional bout of pure unadulterated lust. He had made of the relationship what it was now.

The sounds eliciting from the other man as he rubbed HIS back were driving Troy crazy, making him hard and ready. So during his ministrations he leaned over with his left arm to draw the blond back by HIS right shoulder, just enough to make room for his right hand to slide surreptitiously from the man's back to HIS belly and down to find the hardness below, the body weight pressing his kneading hand down into the mattress. He was rewarded with a guttural groan. He spent some time there blindly exploring, breathing deeply, enjoying himself. His eyes fell to the tight behind… God but he just wanted to pound right in there… but he held back, wanting to extend the short time he'd be allowed with HIM.

He knelt up so that he could pull the man onto his back and then he dipped his head to start licking at HIM, using his tongue on that most sensitive of spots whilst gently moving his hand up and down. The blonde moaned and arched his back and Troy slowly pushed his mouth downwards and then back up, gradually increasing the pace and rhythm.

"Shit! Shit!" HE moaned over and over, thrashing about and squeezing handfuls of sheet and mattress between HIS fingers. Then Troy felt his hands on his hair, pulling the long brown strands in fistfuls till it hurt. It hurt so good!

Then the moans became words,"Stop… Stop…"

Troy obliged, knowing it was time. HE had spoken. Troy knew what HE wanted. The reason HE came at all. But Troy was determined. He had made up his mind that this time it would be different. So as the body under him attempted to roll back around he hooked it firmly between his thighs.

"Let go!" Realising Troy's intent, the brown eyes burned a fiery red of warning.

Troy looked at HIM, trying to gauge HIM. But there was no relenting in the eyes. HE was serious. Sighing Troy gave in, slackening his grip and the blonde turned around, like HE always did. Kneeling up on the sheets and placing both hands flat against the cold wall in front of HIM… waiting. Waiting for a cold and unfeeling fuck from behind by a person HE didn't care about. No eye contact during the act. Another of the rules.

Troy fumbled with the condom, then placing one hand on the waiting shoulder blade pushed hard, burying his way inside in one swift moment and then grabbing the solid waist with his other hand, quickly building up steam.

HIS beautiful moans, music to Troy's ears, filled the space of his bedroom and Troy took the opportunity to grasp HIM around his waist and bite into the soft flesh of HIS neck. As he surrendered, Troy felt the shockwave travel through HIS amazing body. He felt his own legs buckle under him as he exploded inside HIM and they both fell forward.

They lay panting for a few minutes. He savoured those minutes, smelling in the scent of HIM, knowing they wouldn't last. And just as expected the man left the sweat soaked bed to shower and change.

As HE headed for the door Troy said, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

HE stopped, never once looking back, HIS hand already on the doorknob, "I don't think so."

Troy lay prone on the bed, watching HIM leave…

...

Nicky was a chatterbox.

It was as if Luke and Noah had pulled a plug and now all the words he'd stored up in his little body came flooding out in strings of often unintelligible sentences.

"Remind me again why we encouraged the talking?" Luke would sometimes joke, especially after a manic day at the temporary Grimaldi Shipping offices.

"When will Luke be home?" Nicky would ask Noah every hour of every day.

"Later" or "Soon" would be Noah's standard response.

"Yes but WHEN?"

It always made Noah laugh. The child had absolutely no concept of time and so it was a question Noah had no hope of ever answering, at least not for a couple of years. Time was simply an impossible concept to explain to a four year old when to him ten minutes could feel like ten days.

But finally they would hear Luke's car drive up, the headlights briefly illuminating the room and Nicky would wait by the door like an expectant kitten.

"LUKE!" he'd yell, flying into the exhausted man, gripping around his knees and almost knocking him over in his enthusiasm. "Did you know I saw Smurfs today? Did you know they're BLUE? They're funny!" A giggle and Luke would just open his mouth to speak and then, "Where've you been? I waited and waited! Noah helped me paint! We made a rainbow! Wanna see?"

After a couple of responses along the lines of "Really?" and "You did?" and "I was working baby" Luke would make it over to the couch, where he'd collapse in a heap and expel an audible "Oof" as the child unintentionally kicked or punched his belly in an effort to clamber on top of him.

Generally Noah would watch this daily exchange from his workspace at the dining table, waiting for Nicky to calm down enough to allow him his turn. And only then could he walk over and bend to kiss Luke with a gentle, "Hi."

But Noah knew there was also an anxiety in the waiting. He knew Nicky never fully trusted that Luke would return. In fact the anxiety was there no matter which of them went out, even if it was just to run a five minute errand. They knew that eventually he would settle and be more confident, but in the meantime Noah had resumed working from home, putting off returning to full time at the studio. It was an impossible combination, work and a four year old, and he knew it couldn't last for long. A better solution would have to found.

Betty had been by a few times to make her regulatory reports, and she had already suggested they enrol Nicky in some kind of toddler play group as soon as possible.

"He will have to start kindergarten in less than a year's time and he isn't used to being around strangers or other children." She had warned.

Luke and Noah were wary. At the moment there were only four people Nicky would even talk to, the other two being Jasmine and Joshua. He didn't seem to know how to respond to other children from what they could tell. Luke and Noah were afraid for him. They didn't want him to end up lonely because he couldn't make friends his own age. But they also knew how terrified he would be if they ever left him with strangers.

Noah was just musing over this problem for the one hundredth time when Luke interrupted his thoughts by saying, "I really think this child needs a haircut!"

Noah laughed, "Yip! You may be right! He's starting to look less like me and more like you!"

"Shut up!" Luke sniggered good naturedly, smoothing Nicky's long black curls back with both his hands.

Kneeling across Luke's thighs, Nicky looked suddenly scandalised, "Jasmine says you must never say shut up!"

"She does?" Luke asked.

"Yip! And she says you must never call someone stupid!"

"Well! Jasmine's one smart lady, don't you think?"

"Yip! And I'm smart too!"

Luke laughed, "Yes you are."

"And Noah's smart and Luke's smart also!"

"What about Joshua?"

Nicky's tiny forehead crinkled in concentration, "Um, Joshua's BIG!"

Noah laughed from the other side of the room, "You don't think Joshua's smart?" he asked.

"I guess. He doesn't talk much." Nicky's eyes fell on the knot in Luke's tie and his tiny fingers started to fumble at it.

Noah joined them on the couch and said, "Well I think he's very smart. I think he's very smart because he brought you to us."

Nicky's smile was gorgeous, "OH YEAH! Yes he is very smart!"

"So what do you think kid?" asked Luke, bringing them all back to the first topic of conversation. "Do we get you a haircut?"

Nicky, not having a clue what a haircut was, simply shrugged as he continued to play with Luke's tie, "I don't know? What is it?" Then he did what came natural to all children his age, he imitated Luke's previous gesture and pushed Luke's long bangs back and out of his eyes.

"Well, maybe we can ask my mom to do it while we're visiting the farm." Luke suggested, more to Noah than to Nicky, "She always cuts mine. That's if Nicholas here let's her!" And he leaned in nose to nose with the child pulling a funny face and making him chuckle.

Noah could have cried they were so cute. He was looking forward to the week away in Oakdale even if he was a little nervous about introducing Nicky to them.

"What do you think they'll say?" he asked Luke tentatively. "About…" and he gestured towards Nicky.

Luke shrugged. "No idea! But I figured it best not to try to explain it over the phone. When they see us together they'll understand better I think."

"I hope so."

Luke smiled at him, "Do you know what I'm hoping?"

Noah laid his head back on the couch as he looked at him, "What's that?"

"I'm hopping we'll be able to sneak some A.L.O.N.E. time while we're there! God but I REALLY miss you!"

Noah cupped his cheek and grinned, "Me too!"

Nicky, watching this exchange with interest, frowned at them in confusion, "But he's right here silly Luke!"

...

The first time was in his office.

Troy had snuck in unannounced and locked the door behind him.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for you?" He used his most practised silken voice. "I could hear you thinking about me all the way from my bedroom…"

The man's hazel eyes fixed on him and Troy saw it there. That look he'd seen before. That look that spurred him on. Lust. Desire. Pure sexuality trying to break free! He leaned back against the man's desk where HE was seated, studying some boring piece of paperwork. He crossed his feet in a relaxed stance and eyed the blonde meaningfully up and down. Seduction was his middle name and he knew how to get what he wanted. He could tell the blonde was already hot and bothered by his presence… horny as hell!

From their first meeting Troy had sensed it there. A rage! A fiery beast seething under the surface. Angry at… Troy didn't know what. But yes… this guy was pissed off about something alright and was just fit to bursting with frustration. Frustration Troy was working to turn into lust.

Surprisingly the guy didn't move as Troy leaned forward, feeling the heat emanating from his skin. "Sometimes it's just sex…" he whispered in his ear before taking the lobe in his teeth and biting down until he heard the gasp of air from his conquest. The man's hands had turned white as he gripped the handles of his chair. "Why don't you just let it all go?"

Something about those words got to him and the blonde stood quickly, pushing Troy back into the table and standing over him, his breathing was hard and erratic and Troy could see the pain, the fight going on in his eyes as he tried to control urges that went against the old fashioned ethics he had set for himself.

"Do it!" Troy encouraged, but the man backed away, right back against the wall.

"I want you to go." he said.

But Troy just smiled, walking over to him, removing his shirt on the way and revealing the hard nipples beneath. He didn't fail to catch the man's glance downward, licking his lips. Yip, this guy was horny as hell!

Troy moved closer and the blonde's breath grew heavier with each approaching step. He looked so damned hot that Troy wanted nothing more than to bend him over and do him right there and then. But this one required patients. Carefully, Troy ran his hand up the inside of his leg making him wince with the longing to burst from his trousers, suddenly feeling very tight. Breathing into his ear, Troy unzipped them, releasing the hardness and touching him ever so slightly, but enough to make him harder still.

Dropping Troy wrapped his mouth around him, taking most of him in, sucking with practised ease. He can feel the other body responding to him, he can hear the breaths and groans from above. The man made no move to touch him and he didn't try to encourage it. First he would release the angry beast he sensed within and then that same beast would seek him out for more… maybe later… but it would come.

...

Lucinda was the last person to receive her hello hug and kiss from Luke as they stood in the farm kitchen, where she'd just spent an hour waiting with Emma, Lilly and Holden for him and Noah to arrive by hire car. They were perplexed by Luke's request that the four of them, and only the four of them, meet them in this strange manner.

"I can't imagine why you had to go and hire a car Luke." Lilly exclaimed again, "I mean you know one of us would be happy to collect you from the airport?"

"Yes I know Mom but…"

"And where's Noah?" she looked either side of him, as though she expected Noah to suddenly materialise out of thin air, "I thought you two were coming together?" She was visibly disappointed.

"We did, he's right outside."

"What?" asked Emma, "Well, what's the boy doing out there? Why doesn't he come inside?"

"Luke," Lilly frowned, "You two aren't having problems again are you?"

Holden's forehead crinkled along with hers.

"No! No! Mom, Dad, all of you…" and he eyed the four of them, Lilly, Holden, Emma and Lucinda, one by one, "It's just, we have somebody we'd like you to meet."

"Well now I AM intrigued!" stated Lucinda, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, wait a moment." Luke hurried out the door and reappeared a moment later with Noah in tow. Clinging to him was a handsome but rather reluctant young boy.

"Everyone, this is Nicholas. Nicholas Mayer." Luke's grin stretched proudly from ear to ear.

"Hi." Noah greeted them carefully.

Lilly looked like she was about to faint, so Holden grabbed her elbows. Both Emma and Lucinda stared mouths agape.

Lucinda's hand came up to cover her mouth, "Well!" she said, walking forward to closely examine the boy. "Well! I'll be damned! Are you telling me that Noah's a father?" She directed the question at Luke, but then turned to Noah slightly accusatory, scaring him a little, "Did you neglect to tell us you had a son?"

"Grandma!" Luke exclaimed, "He's not Noah's son! He's his cousin."

Lucinda looked instantly embarrassed while a peak over her shoulder revealed a rather relieved looking Lilly.

"Oh, my apologies Noah!" Lucinda begged, "I should know you better then that, shouldn't I?" She patted his shoulder.

"It's okay!" Noah assured her, "Even Luke thought that at first."

Luke turned a bright red at that and Lucinda laughed, "I'm sure it must have shocked the life out of him! But I must say the child does share a striking resemblance. It's almost uncanny!"

Luke leaned in closer to Nicky, who had his face pressed against Noah's chest, "Nicholas, this is Grandma Lucinda."

"Very pleased to meet you young man."

"And this" Luke continued, motioning to Noah that he should follow him, "this is Grandma Emma. This is her farmhouse."

"Welcome sweetheart! And aren't you just the cutest button?"

Nicky stared wide eyed at her, not really sure how to react.

"And these two lovely people are my Mommy and Daddy, but you can call them Gran and Grandpa if you like."

Both Holden and Lilly's eyebrows raised instantly in suspicion.

"Well," Holden finally spoke from the kitchen table where he'd helped Lilly take a seat, "If you're going to turn us into instant grandparents then I think we need to hear the rest of this story."

"Noah?" Lilly asked, confusion written all over her face, "Whose child is this?"

"Well, legally, at the moment, he's mine."

"But spiritually he's ours." Luke smiled at them.

"WHAT?" Lucinda and Emma exclaimed in unison.

"It's… it's… a… a really long story." Noah stuttered, "The thing is we… we…" he looked over to Luke for help, brow furrowed as he struggled for words.

"The thing is," Luke walked over and placed an arm around Noah. He caught Noah's hand in his own, squeezing his fingers gently, "we love him and we're fighting for custody. That's all you really need to know right now, we'll explain the rest later." And he made sure they knew he didn't want to speak in front of the boy.

Noah eyed him with appreciation.

There was a long silence in the kitchen while the news was absorbed and then finally, with a sigh, Lilly stood, staring at the three of them. Her son's handsome shoulders moved in the smallest of shrugs and a cheek dimpled near the corner of his mouth, the way it had always done, ever since he was a small boy himself. She shook her head in defeat and laughed kissing both men and smiling at the child, "Hello Nicholas! Welcome to the family."

...

Just as Troy knew he would, the blonde came to him the second time. Troy opened mansion's front door, wondering who it could be. People they knew usually used the side entrance.

The man burned with an energy of pure determination and desire. Troy held back a knowing smile, not wanting to change the charge of the mood.

The blonde stood before him on the doorstep, his chest rose and fell, as though he had run there. Their eyes were locked in a lustful fire and Troy knew he had won!

With a force from the gods he was flung upon, pushed across the entrance hall and hard into the opposite wall, almost causing an antique painting to crash from the walls. Eyes locked, the blonde began to remove Troy's clothing. Troy caught his hands to stop him. The blonde fought him but Troy held firm.

"Not here! We have housekeepers. Follow me." And he led the man by his wrist up the stairs to his room, stopping on the way to close the front door.

...

There was really only one fancy restaurant in Oakdale. At least it was what the locals would consider fancy. Anyway it was pretty expensive as far as the other restaurants in the area went. It was the kind of place you visited to celebrate some special event, a birthday or engagement. The restaurant was situated above a row of boutique shops. Glass fronted and elevated as it was, it had a wonderful view over Old Town.

And it was under this restaurant that Luke walked later that same night. Holden had left to drop Lilly and Lucinda off at home, Lilly promising to bring the kids around to meet Nicholas in the morning, and Emma was already in bed when Nicholas developed a stomach ailment. Not wanting to wake Emma to ask for children's medication, Luke had driven to Old Town to drop by the twenty-four hour chemist.

So Luke held the white paper chemist bag to his chest as he skipped quickly through town on his way back to the hire car, and he just happened to glance up at the restaurant, noting it must be closing time, since the waiters were in the process of upturning chairs onto table tops.

And that was when their eyes met.

Luke started. The other man was not a waiter. Luke knew this. He was the owner's son. Sometimes he would watch the restaurant when the usual Manger was sick or away on holiday. Not because he had to but because he wanted to. Luke thought he liked the company. The man's eyes showed at first surprise then shock… pain… and then changed to something Luke struggled to understand but it was close to… loathing perhaps? Or anger?

Luke for his part flushed an instant red and did the only thing he could in that situation. He smiled uncomfortably and lifted his free hand in a half wave… a kind of guilty hello.

The man's response was to slam the chair he was in the process of lifting hard onto the table before him and then to disappear into the heart of the restaurant where Luke could no longer see him.

Luke stared at his shoes for a moment, grappling with memory. Then he shook the thoughts off, continuing on his way back to Noah and Nicky.

It didn't matter. None of that mattered anymore…

...

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