Troy had never seen HIM this way. HE was pale and, as Troy continued to hold firm to HIS elbows, it was clear HE was shivering violently. HIS russet eyes were dark with alarm. There was so much emotion! More emotion than HE had ever shown to Troy!

This wasn't what he had expected, this situation. There were people EVERYWHERE! The kitchen swarmed with them and many more were milling around outside.

"Troy?" HE was confused. It was obvious Troy was the last person HE had expected to see and Troy felt a pang deep in his gut when a look of displeasure crossed HIS angelic features. "What are you doing here?" It was accusatory, annoyed.

"You said we could be friends… so?" he knew how lame he sounded.

"Look Troy, I'm sorry! Now really isn't a good time." HE was trying to move past him, trying to disconnect HIS elbows from Troy's grasp.

"Wait!" yelled Troy, his tone was pathetic and he knew it. "Um... What's the matter? Has something happened?"

HE sighed heavily, "Look Troy! I really don't have time for this right now! Our son is missing."

He felt his legs lose all sense of strength and he willed himself not to fall down in a devastated heap on the floor in front of HIM. A child! They had a child together! It was far worse than he had imagined. HE really was gone for good!

"Troy, could you let go please?"

Troy came out of his sub-consciousness and back into the room. Reluctantly he let go, "Yes! Sorry…" He was staring, he knew, but he couldn't help it. "Can I help? I'd really like to help?"

"We could use all the help we can get, son!" he knew the older man speaking was HIS father. He shuffled them both out of the doorway so that the rest of the men could exit and start the search for the missing child.

Standing in the conservatory as the men rushed past, Troy looked at HIM expectantly, waiting for permission. He wouldn't stay if HE didn't want it. And Troy's heart glowed when HE nodded. Troy smiled at him, "I'll help you find him. How old is he?" Troy was surprised he could still speak.

"He's four. He's got black hair and he's wearing a red hooded coat. His name is… his name is…" HE was wild with panic, "We have to find him! We have to find him before it get's dark! It's too cold! It's too cold for him to be out all night." HIS breathing was becoming laboured, "Oh god! Oh god! Please!"

HE was breaking down! Troy stood amazed. HE was like a different person to the guy he'd seduced the year before. That guy had been withdrawn, closed up, impassive; like HE didn't feel anything or care about anything. Oh there WAS pain! Troy had seen that! It was the one emotion HE couldn't seem to hide. But Troy had never seen this kind of behaviour out of HIM.

Troy wanted to kick a hole in the kitchen door! It was this Noah! It was this Noah and this new life that HE had found! It was Noah and this child that HE loved, that motivated HIM! That brought him to life.

Suddenly he took a chance to hold HIM, even if it was briefly, and he slid his hands under HIS arms and around HIS back. At first HE didn't react, but then finally HE returned the hug, merely to have something to hang onto, to prevent HIM from falling to the ground. HE sobbed into Troy's coat and Troy closed his eyes, soaking it up, trying to savour it. Then, all too soon, HIS father pulled them apart and took over the hug.

"Dad!" HE cried in misery.

"Come on Luke! Come on Son! You need to stay strong okay?" And he pulled back to smooth his son's blonde hair back and kiss his forehead.

HE nodded at his father, hitching back the sobs and then standing stronger, more resolute, as though his father's hug was all HE had needed to get HIS head back in gear.

...

He wished he could come out, but he saw… Noah had been angry. Noah had been angry like Mommy and her friends… He was scared. What would Noah and Luke do to him? Maybe they had loved him because they didn't know what a bad boy he was! His Mommy knew! She always told him so! But now they knew and so did he! He was a very bad boy! They were angry because he hurt Ethan. And he knew Granddad would be mad too!

And they loved Ethan more than him.

He was sure that if he came out he would get a hiding. And then they would send him back to Mommy because he was a pain. He knew he was because Mommy had told him so! And she would REALLY hurt him! She would be REALLY mad that he left with Luke and Noah! He knew!

It was very cold and dark now and he leaned his head against the wood. He was tired but he was scared to sleep in case they came! If they came then he would run away again! But otherwise he would stay there! He would never come out! He would live there forever! He would really miss Luke and Noah! He wished he was with them now. He wished they were hugging him now and telling him they loved him. He was sorry! He didn't mean to hurt Ethan! He didn't know Ethan would fall…

He wanted Luke and Noah…

...

Most of the search party had arrived at the tree house by the time Luke, Holden and Troy were making their way down the hill. Luke scanned the crowd eagerly for signs of Noah, still hoping that he might have found the boy. But then he caught sight of him staggering out of the woods to the left, walking sullenly, shoulders slumped, towards the group.

Luke let out a gasp of sadness as the three of them headed towards him. Their eyes locked in shared dread.

Noah shook his head, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

Noah brought his shaky hands up to cup his nose and mouth and Luke stared out over the expanse of forest.

"Noah, I'll need you to tell me where you've already looked, okay?" asked Holden placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "So we don't waste time searching the same spot twice."

Noah was out of breath and in an obvious state of distress but he nodded, "Um… he looked back the way he had come and then pointed, "I've been right across that bit of tree line… right up to that large bolder over there… do you see it?"

Holden nodded.

"I went up and down for about ten miles and… nothing and…." The hands went back to his face as he sobbed and fell to the grass, shuddering uncontrollably, "Where is he? Where? I shouldn't have yelled at him! I shouldn't have! It's all my fault!"

Luke was crying now too, but he didn't move to comfort him, because at that moment Holden knelt in front of Noah and put a hand on each of his shoulders. He spoke over Noah's bowed head, "Now son! There is no way that this is your fault."

"It is! He's not like other children!"

"Yes! Yes he is!" Holden answered quickly and sternly.

Noah looked up at him, frowning.

"Noah! The boy did something wrong and you told him off… and there is nothing wrong with that! That's how he learns what's right and what's wrong! By listening to you and to Luke and by following your example! You did the right thing! Okay? What the boy lacks is assurance… trust… that you won't leave him…!"

Noah still didn't look convinced but he nodded.

"Now I want you and Luke to stay here okay?"

"What?" Both Noah and Luke answered simultaneously.

"The two of you are a mess and you're no use to us in this state. We have enough people searching!" He stood back up and pointed towards the woodland where they could hear the cries of people calling for Nicholas and would occasionally catch a flashlight through the trunks and leaves.

Just then Jack strode down the hill accompanied by Dusty and Parker. "Sorry it took so long for us to get here! We were fishing a few miles outside of Oakdale. Any luck?" he asked, surveying the scene.

"We're still looking! Thanks for coming!"

"Of course!" said Dusty, "As if we wouldn't!" and then he knelt down beside Noah with a hand on his shoulder, "How you hanging in their kid?" But it was a question he didn't expect an answer to, he could see for himself. "We'll find him! Try not to worry." He patted Noah's back twice more and then stood to turn to Luke, "Luke?"

"I'm okay, thanks Dusty." He replied softly.

"Right then!" Said Jack, "Let's get out there!"

Luke sat beside Noah on the grass as they watched the Snyder men join the search. After a few minutes Noah leaned sideways into Luke, who wrapped his head with his arms and laid his forehead on the nape of his neck. They stayed that way listening to the cries in the forest, frozen together in fear for their child.

Standing behind them in silence, and completely forgotten, stood Troy.

He was now even more certain about what had to be done.

...

After three hours of searching and still no sign of Nicholas, Holden had begun to fear the worst. It was freezing cold, and although the child was warmly dressed, he wouldn't know to fall asleep someplace sheltered. Eventually Holden knew it was time to call in the police.

With much difficulty he had convinced Luke and Noah to return with him to the farmhouse. Luke's strange friend followed behind. Holden didn't know him, but he thought perhaps he could be there for the two of them.

Emma had immediately wrapped all three boys in blankets and poured mugs of coffee for each of them. Troy sipped his and watched them over the top of this mug. Neither man took a sip of theirs. Both stared at their mugs, silent, locked deep within their own thoughts.

Sometime during the night Lilly and the girls returned to the farm with Ethan, fast asleep in her arms, his broken arm in a plaster cast. Lilly had kissed both Luke and Noah gently, before taking Ethan to bed, her heart breaking for them, and her soul terrified for the small little boy lost in the woods.

By the following midday, the search party had grown two fold with the addition of Margo's police officers. They had tried to use tracking dogs to locate the child during the night, but the dogs had merely caught the first scent from the direction of the farm. They seemed unable to locate another track.

Luke and Noah had not moved from the kitchen table. It was a terrible weight… the feeling like you should be doing something but having no idea what to do! A feeling of absolute helplessness.

But they knew Holden was right! They were unable to think rationally in their current state and could end up risking the search instead of aiding it. They hadn't spoken much either. They would periodically hold hands or lay a head on each other's shoulders, but speaking terrified them. Neither of them wanted to vocalise the terrible knowledge that the night before had possibly been too cold for a child to have survived outdoors! If they spoke, they might feed off each other's panic and completely lose themselves in it.

Neither of them even cared that Troy sat there at the table with them. Saying nothing. Just watching.

...

Ethan had woken up early in good spirits despite the events of the day before. His arm was no longer painful and Faith had drawn a flower on his plaster cast, suddenly turning the thing into something of a novelty. He had run around for a while, asking people to sign it, but when he came to Luke and Noah he was stopped dead by their expressions.

"Are you sad?" He asked innocently surveying the table where Luke, Noah and Troy still sat.

Luke nodded.

"How come?"

"Come Ethan!" Natalie entered the room just in time to rescue them, "Let's leave Luke and Noah alone for a while, okay?"

"Okay." He accepted half-heartedly.

"Why don't you run down to the barn and say hello to the horses?" she asked, giving him a task she knew would last at least until breakfast, and, at the same time, would give everyone and their fraught nerves a break.

But then at breakfast, returned from the barn, Ethan seemed suddenly sullen and sad.

"Come on Ethan," Lilly pushed, "Finish your food please!"

Ethan sighed and stared at his plate, leaning his head on his good arm. His eyes wondered over the people at the table… his sisters, his brother, Noah and this other man he didn't know. Nobody else was eating theirs so he didn't see why he should.

"And elbow off the table!" Lilly chastised. She was sick with worry over Nicholas, not to mention the state of Luke and Noah; and she just didn't have the patients for Ethan, who was for some reason choosing this exhausting moment to misbehave.

"Is Nicky in trouble?" He asked suddenly.

The adults, deadly tired from a sleepless night, exchanged looks around the table and it was silently conveyed that Lilly should answer.

"No baby."

Ethan crinkled up his nose, deep in thought.

"'Cause I'm not mad he pushed me..."

"We know baby..."

"If Daddy finds Nicky, is he going back to his mommy?"

Noah took in a deep shuddered breath that prompted Luke to place his arm around him.

Lilly almost lost it then, "Ethan! Stop asking silly questions and finish your breakfast!"

"I'm not hungry!" He complained, sticking his fork in a slice of sausage and toying with it. He considered something for a while and then asked, "Can I take some apples to the horses?"

Lilly sighed. She glanced over at Luke and Noah, her poor boys just barley holding it together, and then decided to let him go. He could eat later if he grew hungry.

"Okay." She said, "But just this once you hear? This business of skipping meals stops!"

"Yay!" He hopped off the stool, took the paper bag of apples from his mother and scooted off out the door.

...

Troy left after lunch. He had seemed reluctant to go, as though he had something he wanted to say.

"Is there something else Troy?" Asked Luke, he didn't mean to sound irritated, but he just had too much on his mind. And it was definitely awkward having Troy around… It felt like an intrusion.

Troy seemed about to leave but then turned back. "I know this is a bad time for you… what with your child missing and…"

Luke could feel his stomach turning. Was this guy serious? Nicholas was missing! Was he really going to do this now?

"I came by last night because I wanted to say," Troy continued, "that you're a really great guy! The best guy! And I know it didn't mean much to you but, I'm really grateful for the time you gave me… I just wanted to say that."

Luke nodded. "You're a great guy too Troy! Like I said before, I am sorry… And thank you… for your help tonight."

Troy held up his hand, "I'm glad you're happy. I mean… Noah… he seems like a really nice guy."

"He is…"

"Okay, well, I guess this is goodbye then."

Luke watched as he drove off, feeling bad that he hoped never to see him again. Troy was an okay person, and perhaps in another life they could have been friends, but now all Troy was, was a reminder of a terrible time. A reminder he definitely hadn't needed at that particular moment.

He sniffed and re-entered the house to find Noah.

...

Thankfully Ethan had stayed relatively out of their hair. Except for a few trips in and out of the house, he'd not bothered them at all. He seemed pretty preoccupied with something.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Noah said, not for the first time.

Just then Ethan was about to make another trip out of the house, carrying what looked like a box of toy cars when Lilly caught him and said, "Oh no you don't! You haven't eaten a thing all day mister! She grabbed the box and placed it on the kitchen counter, before lifting him up and sitting him at the table with Luke and Noah.

"Ah man!" he moaned, banging his hands on the table making both men jump.

"Ethan!" Luke chastised, "Please, buddy!"

Then Luke turned his head oddly to the side, at almost a ninety degree angle. His face wrinkled into a frown.

"Luke?" asked Noah, their feelings so in tune that he immediately sensed a strange charge emanating from him. He started as Luke's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed at Ethan's broken arm.

"OUCH!" Ethan moaned, "LUUUKKKE!"

Luke's eyes widened, "Ethan!" His tone was serious, "Where is he?"

Ethan's face fell suddenly and he hunched up his shoulders and slid down in his chair.

"Luke?" Noah asked again, this time with more urgency.

Luke drew Ethan's arm within Noah's eyesight and there, beautifully drawn on white plaster cast, was the picture of a horse grazing grass on a hillside.