It was common knowledge to all that if Elena ever had something weighing on her mind, it was completely hopeless for her to fall asleep.
And this was the case as Elena shifted on her bed once again to try and hope for tiredness to fall over her. But, the only thing that fell over her was Flo, who had been sleeping atop of the pillow next to her. The little alpacamundi didn't seem to notice her sudden shift in movement as she now laid sprawled out over Elena's face.
Elena huffed out a deep sigh of annoyance and peeled off Flo, placing her animal companion back on the pillow without her making so much as a twitch.
After throwing back the covers, putting on her slippers, and grabbing one of the throw blankets to wrap around her shoulders, Elena padded across her room and over to her balcony windows. She jumped up onto her tiptoes and peered out to the bedroom across the way.
It was faint, but she could make the distinct outline of candles burning in Mateo's window.
Elena immediately turned on her heels, and was out the door, and down the hall without a second thought.
The familiar hallways and turns she took seemed like they were going on forever. Was his room always this far away from hers? She remembered it being so much closer whenever she needed to seek him out, no matter where she was located in the palace at the time. Would it be too invasive to learn a teleportation spell?
It was a question that would need to be put off for another time though as she reached her destination when she rounded the next corner.
She tentatively knocked on the bedroom door. There was no answer. Elena immediately knocked a little harder. Still no answer.
A chill ran down Elena's spine as she grabbed the door handle and hastily opened the door.
He was no where in sight when she did the initial scan of the room. However, she noticed that the stairs that led down to the Secret Bibliotecha were open with splashes of blues, whites, and even pinks bursting up from the hidden room.
Relief was over Elena as she fully entered Mateo's bedroom and closed the door behind her.
When she got to the top of the stairs, she gasped as she realized the flashing colors were from a miniaturized galaxy that was floating and swirling mid-air. The stars and planets were more brilliant and astounding than she had ever seen through a telescope, even with the latest models in Mateo's and Isa's observatories.
Suddenly, a comet shot up right next to Elena.
"Whoa!" Elena exclaimed as she swiftly jumped out of the way and it fizzled out before it hit the ceiling.
The floating galaxy instantly stilled and disappeared in a flash.
"Hello?" Mateo's voice called out.
"It's me Mateo!" Elena replied as she descended down the stairs at a quicker pace.
She found Mateo sitting on the ground, stacks of opened books surrounded him and he had one of the long couch pillows behind his back. He had taken off his new wizard robes, but was still in his everyday clothes with only his shirt untucked.
"I didn't expect anyone to be here with me," Mateo said as he twisted his new Sunbird Tamborita nervously. "You aren't hurt are you?"
Elena shook her head, "Nope, not even a scratch."
"Good."
He leaned to the side on his hands to look behind her.
"No Flo?" he mused.
Elena laughed lightly, "No she's fast asleep. But I couldn't even get a wink of it."
"Yeah, neither can I," Mateo replied. "Well, you know, less than I normally can."
"I wouldn't expect you to," Elena said matter-of-factly.
And she really had expected it. After Elena had recapped what had happened that day to her family, and they had expressed the same sadness of losing yet another member of the household that had once been so happy and simple, she had informed them that she would be taking dinner with Mateo privately.
So, a half an hour later, Elena set out with hot soup, fresh bread, and Flo at her side. The alpacamundi had been insistent on coming along, mostly because she wanted to meet Mateo's other book family members. Which was too innocent and pure of an answer for Elena to explain that Mateo wasn't related to any books.
She had found him in his workshop at that time. One of the newest collection of books cracked open as he seemed to be taking inventory of his current ingredients.
While Mateo had initially turned down her dinner offer at first, saying that he was far too busy, the loud and gurgling sound his stomach then made convinced him other wise.
They decided to sit on the floor at one of the library's carb tables. Elena had remained silent as she let him begin rambling about all the amazing finds he had discovered. Including a shape-shifting potion.
"You've already made a shape-shifting potion," Elena had interjected, thinking about all the times they had less-than-responsibly used his potion to turn into their jaquin forms.
"But not like this!" He exclaimed. "This is the one that Shuriki gave Carla so that she could become Rita and..."
Elena felt a piece of bread get lodged in her throat when she saw the crestfallen expression beginning to arise.
Luckily, Flo was there to immediately cut through any tension or solemn feelings that were coming and going throughout the evening and instantly lighten the mood.
"You can change into different things!? Like a butterfly!" Flo shrieked as she bounced in front of Mateo. "Can you become a butterfly? Can you turn me into a butterfly? Can you also turn icky broccoli into candy!?"
Later that evening, they had parted ways from the kitchen after they had disposed of their dirty dishes, both seemingly with the intention of going to their rooms to get some sleep after a very physically and emotionally draining day for them both.
However, Elena also knew that the first night was the hardest. Which is why, for the first time in a while, it wasn't seeing Esteban that was the reason for her restlessness.
Elena walked across the secret room and sat down beside Mateo. She hadn't really come here with anything to say. She just wanted to make sure that he wasn't staring at a blank wall and completely lost in his grief. She had seen others do that quite a few times. She probably did it herself at times.
"Have I ever told you the story of when I first believed in magic?" Mateo said abruptly as he leaned back and laid his head on half of the long pillow.
Elena was surprised, more so than she really should have been; but with how strongly and passionately Mateo had been about it from the very first day she had met him, she had just assumed he had always been like that.
"It was during the Meteor shower back when I was 8."
Elena remembered that event, it had been one of the things that Isa had said she was so sad she missed since it wouldn't happen for at least another 50 years.
"While my mami had always told me stories about my grandfather and the magic spells he would cast and the creatures he saw, most of that belief was still fueled by childhood innocence. But, it was hard to keep an innocence in the world, in the kingdom, I was growing up in."
Elena gulped as she laid her head down on the empty side of the pillow, adjusting her body so she faced him and wrapping her blanket tighter around her.
"Especially when I couldn't even say a word about who I was, because it could not get me captured, but killed."
Mateo swallowed.
"I remember that night though. My mother had us walk all the way to the old Maruvian temples even though everyone else was in town. Craning my neck so much that it hurt, but I didn't even care." The corners of his mouth turned into a lop-sided grin. "And as they streaked across the sky, they caused this broach my mother was wearing, that belonged to my abuela, to light up. Then she pointed forward and everywhere I looked, these random patterns in the temple buildings began to light up as well. She said that it was because it was made of turquoise, which the ancient Maruvian's believed brought protection and healing properties. And I remember feeling just this great rush of happiness and amazement and wonder that all the stories that I had learned from my mother were in fact real and still alive. Not sure if my mami meant to or not, but I knew from that moment, that I would do anything to not only have that feel that way again for myself, but for everyone in Avalor."
Elena felt her heart flutter at the sight of his happy expression and at his story. He never ceased in surprising her with just how amazing a person he was.
"I have to go home for a few days Elena," Mateo then said flatly. "I need to be with my mami and tell her about what happened."
"Of course," Elena said softly. He didn't really need to tell her he was leaving, she had expected this would happen and would give the De Alva family as much time as they needed. Elena knew Mateo would return, the De Alva's were a family the persevered through thick and thin.
Elena's heart went out to Rafa especially. She knew how it felt to be an orphan. And whether that happened when you were a child, a teenager, or an adult, there was always this certain empty spot that stayed with you.
It's...it's probably what Esteban had felt she suddenly realized. They had never really talked about that before, him losing both his parents at the same time...
Elena shook her head slightly. There would be plenty of time to think of him later. Right now, she wanted to fully be here for Mateo.
He didn't say anything though for a few moments. His eyes were glued to the ceiling intensely; like they were trying to see through all the stone and to the real night sky that was above them. So, Elena rubbed small, comforting circles with her thumb on the back of his hand, waiting patiently for him to continue.
"I feel guilty for thinking this...but some small part of me doesn't want to tell mami about today. Because she's already had to accept and grieve about him for so many years."
Elena's thumb stopped and she made a hasty move to sit up, but Mateo held up his free hand to her, silently asking her to let him continue. She, of course, complied and lied back down.
Mateo let out such a shaky breath that his whole body shuddered. "But I know I have too, because that wouldn't be fair to her and she can tell me how to live...how to live...without him and make it stop hurting."
Mateo's head than whipped to the side so he looked straight into Elena's eyes. His hazel ones were already welled up with tears and red-rimmed. "How do you not feel this way? I want to regret ever knowing him so it stops hurting! Just to go back to when he was an idealized figure...but I can't! So what am I supposed to do instead!?"
Elena felt the inside of her chest tighten. She released his hand and used both of them to grab his face.
"You need to remember to breathe first," Elena said rather firmly, but she needed him to calm down. "In and out. In and out."
Mateo closed his eyes and did as she said, inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling through his mouth with a slight tremble. He did this a few times before reopening his eyes and meeting her gaze.
"I will be honest with you, and unfortunately, that means that I will have to tell you that those feelings will never fully go away." Elena felt her own eyes begin to sting. She was able to bite them back though. "Not ever."
She pushed herself onto her elbow so that she was now hovering above him. She still had both hands holding his face.
"It's going to be very hard at first, it may even be weeks or even a month before you can make it a day without having them on your mind." It was Elena's turn now as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I never told you this, but it was such a painful experience for me that I shared a bed with Isa for quite a while after we took back the Kingdom, because we both just needed someone to be right there to get us through our nightmares."
One of Mateo's own hands came up and gently cupped her cheek. She smiled, feeling that they were both connected to each other wholly and gave her the courage to continue.
"But, as you handle those feelings of anger, regret, and sadness, they will begin to fade. And you were right, that day at Carnaval. You were so right that I was surprised that I didn't realize the answer myself at the time. That love really is the most powerful emotion. And that is what you will use to replace those dark feelings until what you think about are the happy memories more than the bad. Trust me."
Elena let a single tear slide down her cheek the moment she finished. However, her smile hadn't left her face, determined to stay resilient for him.
Mateo gently wiped the tear away with his thumb before he proceeded to do the same for himself. Elena felt her chest begin to feel not quite so heavy with worry now as she felt his pulse in his neck begin to calm down.
"Will you stay with me?" His cheeks turned pink as he hastily added, "You don't have to stay the whole night...but if you can until I fall asleep."
"Of course," Elena responded with immediately. "You never have to worry about me leaving you. I'm here, always."
"As am I, for you."
Elena felt her heart respond to his words again as she leaned down and placed a quick kiss to his forehead, before she resumed her spot on her side of the pillow that was now feeling very comfortable to her.
Mateo grabbed his new tamborita and raised it above them.
"Estrellas Arriba!" His voice rang out strong. And with one hit to the tamborita, the stunning galaxy burst out from the end of it and into the air above them.
One of his arms then wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her towards him. Elena's own body responded on it's own as she curled into him and reached over to grab his other hand.
Their joined hands rested upon his chest as they continued to admire the wonderous sight above them. Slowly letting the sad memory transform to become yet another happy memory that they would share between them.