Cuts To: Broflovski Residence, Day. In Kyle's room Bebe and Kyle are seen writing about the Monty Python Comedy Troupe. Mrs. Nelson has the class assigned to write about a famous comedian or comedy group.
Bebe (Reading over the internet): Wow, Kyle. I didn't realise how popular Monty Python was during the 60s.
Kyle: Of course, they were popular. If it hadn't been for people like John Cleese, or Michael Palin, or Eric Idle and so on, comedy just wouldn't be of pure genius, for example, the Dead Parrot sketch. Says here they disbanded in 1989 following the death of Graham Chapman.
They continue writing in silence.
Bebe: Finished!
Kyle: Just how I like to finish; early.
They put the papers in their bags and sit on the bed, thinking about what to do next. They remain silent for a few moments.
Bebe (Breaking the silence): So, Kyle. What are some of your talents and secrets?
Kyle: Well. I'm a good bassist/guitarist, as you saw the other night. I'm on the Cows Football Team, by the way. And I'm a member of the superhero group called 'Freedom Pals'; I'm called 'Human Kite', who can shoot lasers and fly.
Bebe: I've heard that Wendy's in it too. How do you become a member?
Kyle: Once a month, we gather at Token's Basement and discuss our franchise. And it's simple to join our franchise; all you have to do is create your own superhero identity, you get a sheet and fill out your strength, weakness, religion, race, sexuality and superpower.
Bebe: And that's it? No problem.
Kyle (Chuckles lightly): No problem at all. Now, what shall we do? We've got time to kill.
Bebe: Let's go downstairs. I hear you've got 'Stan.' Perhaps we can watch something, like a classic sitcom?
Kyle: Yes, let's. My parents won't be home for another 2 hours. We've got all this time to ourselves.
Bebe: I like the sound of that. But can I show you something first?
Kyle: Go ahead.
Bebe turns towards Kyle, and seductively takes her pants down and spreads her legs.
Bebe: Look down Kyle.
Kyle looks down, and what he sees surprises him.
Kyle (Under his breath): Holy Shit!
Bebe: You like it?
Kyle only nods, as Bebe pulls her pants back up.
Bebe: You should see your face right now.
They get up off the bed and out the door. They go downstairs and Bebe sits on the couch, while Kyle goes to the kitchen to get some snacks. He returns with a box of Snacky S'mores.
Bebe: I love Snacky S'mores!
Kyle: Now, what are the options?
Bebe (Scrolling through the list on the screen with the remote): Well, there is 'Seinfeld', 'The Nanny', 'Friends', 'Frasier', 'Everybody Loves Raymond' or 'Happy Days'?
Kyle: Perhaps, 'Friends'. It's one of my favourites.
He opens the Snacky S'mores box.
Bebe: Mine too.
Bebe turns on 'Friends' and she and Kyle munch on the Snacky S'mores.
Bebe: I love the theme song
Kyle: My dad has a crush on Courtney Cox.
Kyle and Bebe get closer to each other; they touch hands. They look at each other; an urge comes over them. They begin making out; Kyle puts the box of Snacky S'mores on the table and hungrily locks his lips with Bebe's. Bebe lies down on the couch with Kyle on top of her, French-kissing. Ike comes in and sees them. He watches for a bit.
Ike: I'll leave you two alone.
Ike goes Back Upstairs. The 'Friends' theme song ends.
Later, the Broflovski Family are having dinner; Sheila and Gerald sit on one side of the table, and Kyle and Ike sit on the other side; Kyle is daydreaming. Sheila takes note of this.
Sheila: Kyle, buppie. You haven't touched your dinner.
Gerald: Your head is in the clouds. It seems you have a girlfriend, yes? (A Piece of Mashed Potato falls off his fork and onto his plate)
Kyle (Daydreaming, while poking his lamb cutlets): You're right. I have a girlfriend, and she's got the cutest face I've ever seen.
Sheila (Buttering a bread roll): Oh really Kyle. Who?
Kyle: Bebe Stevens.
Ike bursts into song.
Ike (Clapping his hands):
Kyle and Bebe sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Sheila (Dropping her fork): Elena's girl? Kyle, Ike. Can you go in the living room please?
Kyle and Ike get up and go into the living room.
Gerald: Uh, wasn't Elena the slut who slept with many guys when we were in college?
Sheila: Yes Gerald. And now our biological son is dating her daughter, who I believe is also a slut.
Gerald: We cannot have our son dating a slut! We should go see her parents about this.
Sheila: But we'll be kicked out if we call her daughter a slut.
Gerald: They're Catholics aren't they?
Sheila: Yes.
Gerald: I have a plan.
Stevens Residence, later that night. Sheila and Gerald's car is parked on the street outside.
Stevens Kitchen. Sheila and Gerald are sitting on one side of the table, and Darren and Elena are sitting on the other side. A teapot and a plate of cheesecake situated between them. They're drinking tea.
Darren: (Sipping his tea) Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski. This is an unexpected visit. (He picks up a slice of cheesecake and takes a bite)
Sheila: Darren. We found out that your daughter is dating our son.
Elena: Yes, we are well aware of that. Bebe wouldn't shut up about him. It's normal love behaviour. I don't see why that's so distressing.
Gerald: Right. Well, are you aware that Kyle is of the Jewish faith?
Elena: No. We weren't aware of that.
Sheila: Well, since she's of one religion and our son is of another, they can't be together.
Darren: We never knew how serious this was. We'll talk to her tomorrow morning.
Sheila and Gerald leave.
South Park Elementary, Morning. The students are arriving.
Hallways: Kyle is putting books into his locker when Bebe turns up, with a miserable expression on her face.
Kyle (Cheerful): Hey Bebe.
Bebe (Miserable): Hey Kyle./span/p
Kyle proceeds to kiss her, but she stops him. Kyle is surprised.
Bebe: Look. The thing is Kyle that, well, I can't date you anymore. You're Jewish and I'm Catholic. It's just not right. So I feel we need to break up. I'm sorry.
Kyle: I don't understand-
Bebe: I'm so sorry Kyle. (Tears start to form in her eyes) Goodbye.
Bebe turns the opposite direction, leaving a heartbroken Kyle at his locker. The bell rings, signalling the start of class.
Ext. South Park Elementary- It is raining. And Kyle is sitting by the side of the path, crying into his sleeve. The door opens and Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Butters walk out. Stan is carrying an umbrella.
Stan: So, you and her are done? (He holds the umbrella over a heavily- drenched Kyle)
Kyle: Yes. It's not fair! Bebe was the girl for me. What's the use? My love life's a total fuck up!
Stan: I know how you feel. I remember when Wendy broke up with me, but a miracle got us back together, and now, she and I are closer than ever.
Cartman: I've lost a girlfriend, and now, you have to. I feel sorry for you.
Kenny: (If it cheers you up, we can go to Raisins. Have some chicken wings and get a lap dance from the sexy waitresses)
Kyle: No!
He leaves, crying again. The other boys watch him with pity
Butters: Aw, I hate seeing Kyle so sad. And anyone, for that matter.
End of Act 2