Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 1,360

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #110
Submitted By: Go0gleplex
===============================

(The Wizengamot members were gathered for their usual winter session deep within the Ministry for Magic. Several heated and many not so heated conversations were quietly occurring in the background as the Chief Warlock rattled through the opening ceremony for the session while others simply took the opportunity to catch a short nap. All of this was brought to an abrupt halt as a strange metal golem with an overly large sphere for a head appeared in a flash of light accompanied by a hair raising tearing sound.

The now silent and fully awake membership of Magical England's governing body stared in stunned silence as the golem looked around, its glowing green 'eyes' passing over each in turn before resting upon the Chief Warlock and the Minister for Magic.)

"Oh wonderful." the golem moaned in a rather gloomy and pained voice. "Here I am with the brain the size of a planet and I get sent to be a messenger to a group of humans too primitive to understand speech. Typical."

"AHghhhhem," came the sound of the Chief Warlock clearing his throat. "But what manner of creature are you and how did you manage to apparate through the Ministry wards?"

"Ha. He thinks I'm a creature." Sighed the golem. "My name is Marvin. A robot, something I would try to explain if I did not already know it would be useless to try. Sort of like teaching monkeys to sing."

"What is a 'robot' and who sent you?" The Minister of Magic asked before anyone else could reply.

"Doesn't matter." Marvin moped. "I was sent by the President of the Galaxy pro-tem Harry Potter in response to some silly law while the actual President is off on vacation with his other head."

"Harry Potter!" the assembled members of the Wizengamot exclaimed in shouts and shocked voices.

"President of the Galaxy pro-tem!? Probably just some stunt to use to shirk his duties to the people of Magical Britain." Scoffed Lord Nott with a sneer while the rest of Wizengamot devolved into a cacophony of chaos only to be interrupted by a loud cannon blast from the Chief Warlock.

"Now that all are silent," intoned the Chief Warlock, "maybe we can hear the message that this Marvin the Robot brings to us from Lord Potter."

On the floor below the balconies Marvin simply muttered to himself about overestimating the intelligence of those gathered and having grossly insulted monkeys before the room was returned to silence and the Chief Warlock's inquiry to the message he had.

"Just remember I am just the messenger, even if I do have a planet sized brain, not that will likely stop you from shooting me or whatever it is you lot do." Marvin said sulked. With that, a bright beam of light was projected out from Marvin's head and an image of Harry James Potter appeared, dressed in robes that would have had the late Albus Dumbledore green with envy (and most people with an actual sense for fashion fleeing in horror).

"Hello and greetings to all you Wizengamot and Ministery hoopy wankers!" The image of Potter cheerfully said with a wave. "I've sent Marvin here with this message to tell you lot of pretentious ignorant fossils that you can take your Marriage Law and its requirements and wait for a Bartledannian to breathe!

You will immediately cease and desist from implementing this law and move to strike it from your books within the ten minutes immediately following the cessation of this missive. Failure to do so will bring dire consequences." Harry stated with an ominously deep voice before immediately returning to his cheerful demeanor. "Well. That's all I had to say, so good-bye, farewell, and never drink a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster while under the effects of polyjuice!"

And with that, the light image winked out. The chamber returned to silence for a mere moment before the outraged shouts of the Wizengamot members filled the air. It was nearly five minutes before order could be restored and the Minister for Magic ask Marvin the obvious question.

"So, Mr. Marvin…" began the Minister.

"It's just Marvin. No mister. No sir. No nothing. Just Marvin." The robot interrupted in a morose tone. "We robots are not programmed to have egos or anything like that to worry about. Even if I am more intelligent than most life in this galaxy."

"Ummm… yes." Responded the Minister a bit uncomfortably. "Lord Potter referred to dire consequences if we did not acquiesce to his demands. What might this threat entail?"

"Poetry." Marvin said in a dull monotone. "VOGON Poetry to be precise."

"POETRY!?" Screamed one of the sitting Lords. "That brat threatens us with poetry! Absurd! I move that we send Aurors to apprehend Potter at once for trial on charges of sedition."

"SECONDED!" cried out another of the sitting Lords.

"You now have less than two minutes remaining to comply with President pro-tem Potter's conditions, not that I think you will listen. After all. I'm only a robot. Nobody listens to robots. Especially me." Marvin stated before trailing off in a muted mutter.

Of course he was right. None of the sitting Lords, the Chief Warlock, or the Minister of Magic listened to him, so caught up in their angry rhetoric and arguments about the freshly made motion.

"I really hate this. Why did it have to be me?" Marvin groused. "Oh well. May as well get it over with."

And with that, Marvin adjusted the volume of his speakers to maximum and began to recite the famous Vogon poem "Ode To A Rushing Blatherskippen And Its Koopit", drowning out the heated discourse of the humans in the chamber. Within minutes the angry shouting had changed to groans and screams of agony as the humans in the chamber tried silencing spells on Marvin and themselves to no avail. Anything and everything was tried to stop the heinous torture that the robot was subjecting them to without success. Luckily the poem was only two hundred and fifty three verses long and ended after an hour.

"So." Marvin asked in a somber voice. "Are you going to capitulate to President pro-tem Potter's demands or do I start the next poem? I guess I should warn you, not that I think you will listen, that there are over ten thousand similar poems in my data banks which should take me approximately nine point three Earth years to fully recite, not that you are actually interested."

Above, the Chief Warlock and the Minister of Magic both staggered to their feet, their faces a mess of bodily fluids and stated in tandem, "WE SURRENDER! No more! We beg of you!"

It took nearly an hour for the gathered Wizengamot to repeal the law and strike it from their books permanently. Most of that time was spent reviving and restoring the gathered Lords to something resembling a functional state. A condition some may argue to have never before been achieved.

As soon as the repeal was signed and sealed, Marvin vanished in the same flash of light and tearing noise that he arrived in, never to be seen again.

Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Go0gleplex. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Go0gleplex: I really did not intend to do a second one...but that dang plot bunny bit me before I even had breakfast.