"She's got such a beautiful smile." Noah said softly, almost to himself, wringing his hands together above the coarse hospital blanket.

Luke had just re-entered the room after seeing the doctor out and telling Casey and his parents not to wait around. They left after he promised to send them regular updates.

"What's that?" He asked trying to sound relaxed even though he wasn't.

He settled himself back on the visitor stool and stroked Noah's arm to let him know where he was.

"Mia…"

"Yeah?"

"God!" he shook his head and a tear dropped from the corner of his eye, "I wanted to see your face when she smiled at you like that… I really wanted to see it..."

"Noah…"

"And Nicky? And his drawings…? And… and you…? FUCK!" Both his hands flew up to grip his head.

There was a long, silent and pained pause in which Luke could do nothing, say nothing, but sit and watch him sadly.

Finally he had to try something so he took Noah's hand in his, "Noah, the doctor said…"

"…the doctor said it may well be temporary…" Noah interrupted bitterly, before Luke could continue, "…isn't that just the standard response?"

"Noah…"

"Isn't that what they said the last time?"

Luke could understand his frustration and especially his fear, "Baby, until the swelling comes down we still have some hope, okay?"

Noah nodded but Luke felt the nod was more for his sake then that Noah actually agreed with him.

"Luke…?" Noah said in a small voice, squeezing his eyes together. When he opened them again Luke could tell he was struggling to say whatever it was that he needed too.

Luke hated it; the sudden feeling of distance between them. That loss of vital eye contact, where so much of their communication took place…

"If this is permanent…"

"Please don't…" Without the eye contact, it was the tone Luke instantly picked up on.

"I'm not going to tell you to leave me." Noah said quickly, "I said I'd never hurt you like that again and I meant it."

Luke sighed in relief but it was short lived.

"But there's no miracle doctor this time, Luke. There is no Reid. So I'm not going to tell you to leave, but… but if this is permanent… then I am going to ask you too."

Luke felt his stomach clench and he held tighter to Noah's hand, shaking his head, "No…"

"Please, Luke!"

"NO!"

His voice was so stern that Noah actually jumped and he closed his eyes briefly, continually shaking his head, knowing Luke well enough not to try arguing. But he did whisper, "I don't want this for you…"

"I know you don't, but you feel this?" he placed Noah's fingers over the ring on his hand and watched as Noah bit down on his lip, trying to hold back from crying, "Bound together by this… forever… no matter what…you got that?"

Noah didn't reply, just hitched a breath.

"Okay?" Luke demanded.

"Okay…" it was a tiny whisper, almost outside the realm of hearing.

"Besides," Luke continued, "It's my choice to make... like you said… And it's a pretty easy one at that…"

...

"Okay everybody! Attention please!"

The talking and laughing continued.

"Listen to Dad!" he yelled again.

Finally he stuck two fingers in his hand and wolf-whistled loudly, the way he usually did to call the horses in. Those at the same table as him, including Luke and Noah, grimaced at the sound and held their hands up to their ears, laughing.

The crowd began to quiet.

"I'd just like to say a few words and then everybody can go back to being all raucous."

Dessert was almost over and people were ready to get up and start the dancing; so it took some time for Holden to get the quiet he had asked for. But he didn't mind. He stood there at the table, smiling that soft smile, taking in the sight of his family and their friends enjoying themselves as the Californian sun slowly started to set, and the fairy lights surrounding the dance floor came on like so many tiny fireflies.

Finally he had their attention.

"Luke! I'm just amazed! I can't even believe I'm standing here right now!"

Luke smiled shyly at him and Noah watched him adoringly.

"One minute you were this tiny little blonde terror, running around, climbing trees… falling out of trees!" Holden raised eyebrows at him.

Luke laughed and so did a few other Snyders. Noah thought there must be a story there he'd not heard before and made a mental note to ask Luke about it later.

"One minute you were playing with those small plastic horses, do you remember them?"

Luke nodded.

"…and the next you were riding a real one way better than me! One minute you were driving toy dinky cars through little tunnels dug in sand and the next minute I was teaching you how to drive my truck."

Lily reached up to take Holden's hand as she sensed him getting emotional.

"And Luke, my son, every single memory I have of you is sweet and never forgotten. You've come so far and I'm proud of the fine and caring man you are. And I'm proud of the way you face challenges in life."

"Thanks Dad."

"But I tell you! It doesn't matter how old you get, I will always see that stubborn little kid in there!"

Luke laughed again, "And you'll always tell him off! I know!"

Again the crowd of onlookers laughed.

"And I'm so happy to be here, watching you marry the man that you love. The person we have all come to love, as a brother, a nephew, a friend and for me and for Lily… a son."

He looked to Noah then, and Noah thought his heart might stop when he recognised the love in his father-in-law's face.

"Noah. We are so blessed to know you, son. You never cease to amaze us with your courage, your strength, your honesty and your fortitude. And I couldn't be happier to see you marry Luke, because with you I know he's loved. And you make him happy! I mean… would you just look at him! He glows when you're around!"

"Here here!" came a shout from one of the other tables and a few people giggled as Noah blushed.

Holden seemed to get serious then, "Now, two days ago you called me and asked me a question, do you remember?"

Noah's eyes widened and he nodded nervously.

"And I didn't really give you an answer, did I?"

Noah shook his head slowly, half smiling, eyes welling up.

"And I hope you don't think that it's because I didn't like the idea. It's just that your question touched me so deeply that I had to cut you off… so that I could recover. Because as I'm sure you've come to know I'm not really one for public displays of emotion… I guess we have that in common…"

Lily smiled at her husband.

"So, son, I was wondering whether you'd like to ask me that question again, in front of Luke and the family?"

Noah felt completely taken aback. He locked eyes with Luke who returned his gaze quizzically. He hadn't foreseen this at all and he was shaking as he stood up reaching out to take Luke's hand for courage.

"Holden," he began, his voice laced in nerves, "when I marry Luke," he smiled looking down at those deep brown eyes, "now that I AM married to Luke," he laughed slightly and then faced Holden once more to finish his question, "do I have your permission to change my name to Snyder?"

There was a collective gasp from all.

...

"Mr Mayer? Excuse me sir?"

He didn't want to wake up dammit! He didn't want to leave those memories behind!

"I'm sorry to wake you sir, but it's time for your bath."

"No…"

It hit him. Just as it always did the moment he opened his eyes from that beautiful dreaming to nothing but darkness! The depression was on the verge of drowning him when…

"Mr Mayer?"

"It's Snyder." He replied without thinking and was jolted by it. It was a reflex. Natural and unconscious. It surprised him.

"I'm sorry sir?"

"My name, it's Noah Snyder. I'm changing it."

He felt something move deep within him. It was warm and safe and constant and he felt a smile come to the corner of his lips.

"I see, well… Mr Snyder…?"

"But you can call me Noah…" the smile grew bigger.

He heard her laugh, "Okay then, Noah, my name is Sarah and now that we've settled all that, do you need help with your bath?"

"Um. If you can just show me around the room, I can do it."

"Of course. Let me help you up."

...

Luke hadn't wanted to leave Noah at all, but eventually he had to admit that he was exhausted. They both knew they'd been away from the kids for far too long, especially Nicholas who could still get extremely anxious without at least one of them nearby.

The house was dark and quiet when he entered and he found Casey and Alison; Maddie and Jonathan sleeping on separate mattresses on the lounge floor. He knew his parents were back at the hotel with Natalie, Faith and Ethan. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks for their amazing friends.

Mia and Nicholas were curled up together, top to tail, on the couch. Mia gripped a stuffed yellow rabbit and her pink shirt had ridden up to under her arms, so Luke gently pulled it back down and drew the sheet up around her. Nicholas had his thumb stuck in its usual position in his mouth. He slept curled on his side and his hair was all ruffled and spiky, just like Noah's tended to be in sleep. But he looked contented and that was the main thing. Luke smoothed his cheek and kissed him gently before quietly tiptoeing towards the passage.

He was just wondering whether he could risk a shower without waking them when he felt a chilled wind blowing at his hair and noticed that the sliding doors were open a crack. Sitting outside on the top step of the decking, his legs drawn up towards him, was a solitary shadow. Luke felt the sudden need to chastise himself. He had been so concerned about and focused on Noah that he had completely forgotten about poor Josh, and the personal hell he was going through.

"Hey…" Luke said as he stepped outside.

Josh jumped about a mile into the air at the sound of his voice, turning to Luke and immediately searching for an escape, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! They said you wouldn't be back tonight… I'll go...!"

He made a move towards the door but Luke just put a finger to his lips, indicating he should keep it down, and gently slid the glass closed.

"Go where?" he asked.

The kid looked terrified, hanging his head and staring at the floor as though he wished it would open up and swallow him whole.

"Josh?" Luke waited until the boy lifted his eyes to meet his, "Where are you going?"

"I shouldn't have come here! If I hadn't come then…"

"Then what?"

"Noah…"

Luke sighed and took a seat on the wooden step, patting the space next to him, "Sit down."

He did, but not as close as Luke had indicated.

"Do you know what I think, Josh?"

The boy shook his head.

"I think that regardless of whether you had come here or not, at some point, Noah and me would have found out, and Noah would still have gone to see your dad."

Josh frowned at him.

"It's just the way he is." Luke looked out over the yard at the quarter moon, peaceful and still in the breezy air. Finally he said, "You can stay here as long as you want. Okay?"

Josh nodded in amazement as Luke stood to leave.

As he opened the door he whispered, "It's not your fault. I don't blame you and neither does he."

...

"Luke! Luke!" Small hands were digging into his ribs.

He opened one eye to find Nicholas grinning and cocking his head at him.

"Sorry." He turned his head towards Maddie, who stood in his doorway shaking her head, "I tried to keep it from them for as long as I could."

Luke smiled at her to let her know it was okay and then sat up on this elbows to peer down the bed and catch the green glint of Mia's eyes. She stood there looked extremely unsure and worried.

"Hello Mia. Why don't you get up on the bed like Nicholas?"

She shook her head.

"No? Okay then."

He allowed his head to plop back on the pillow and then grabbed Nicholas in a hug.

"Come here you!" The child screamed in delight.

"Are you back forever Luke?"

"Yes baby."

"Yay!" He bounced on his knees.

Luke watched Mia as she quietly patted over to the bathroom and pushed the door open, searching inside, looking for Noah.

"Where's Noah, Luke?" Nicholas asked.

"He's coming home soon baby…"

"Is he in the jail now?" Luke almost laughed at that, marvelling at how much better Nicholas made him feel.

"No, he's not."

"Alison made breakfast when you're ready." Maddie said.

"Thanks, I'll be there in a minute."

She nodded at him with a small smile.

Just after Maddie left he heard a small sob and almost wept himself at the sight of little Mia, hanging her head and crying her little heart out. He realised how scared she was. It was Noah she had bonded with since the children's home and she had only a vague awareness of the part Luke would play in her life.

He climbed out of the bed and walked over to her, squatting down to her level and lifting her chin up to him. He smiled at her, kissed the top of her head and hugged her into him. At first she was limp but after a minute she lifted her hands up and allowed him to comfort her.

"I want Noah." She sniffed.

"I know you do sweetie. And Noah really wants to be here too… and he will be soon, okay? Everything's going to be fine, I promise."

Once she was calmer he sent the kids to the kitchen in search of food while he changed and a few minutes later found everyone gathered around the table. Alison had lain on a feast of eggs and bacon and toast and even waffles.

"Wow!" Luke exclaimed, "Alison! I never knew you could cook like this!"

"Yeah well! You learn pretty quick when you're trying to save money on the road. And one of us had to! This one can't tell the difference between a knife and a spoon!"

Luke smiled, "Well even if he can't cook it, I know from past experience that he definitely knows how to eat it!"

"HEY!" Casey complained good naturedly and everyone laughed at him.

"Josh awake?" Luke asked them.

"Not yet, but I think he's had trouble sleeping, poor kid. How are you doing Luke?" Alison walked over to him and gave him a quick hug.

"It's not really me with the problem now is it?"

"No… I can't believe it! I can't even imagine what is must be like for him… For both of you…"

There was a silence while they all contemplated the situation and then Maddie broke that by pulling up a chair and steering Luke to sit down.

"Come on! Eat up! You're no use to him weak from hunger!"

There was another silence, this one a little uncomfortable.

"So!" Luke exclaimed, "Casey and Alison? What the hell happened? I was surprised to get that postcard from France! I thought you two were off to college?"

"Oh yeah that…" sniggered Casey. "Well! We registered for classes… Gwen and Will even put us up and everything!"

"They were sorry they couldn't make the wedding!" Alison quickly chimed in, "Gwen's about ready to pop that new baby!"

"Anyway…!" Casey snatched back the attention playfully, "We entered this on campus competition where we had to squeeze as many people as possible into a car…"

"…it's AMAZING how many you can get in there!" Alison cut in again and everyone laughed.

"So we won! Alison and me! And the prize was this trip to Spain! It was only two weeks so we decided to jet… you know? I mean how many chances do you get to do something like that in life?"

"Oh my god guys! It was incredible!" Alison exclaimed, "We just fell in love. And then we thought, hey… we're still young, one year wouldn't hurt! So we just never came back! We just kept going! Until a few weeks ago of course!"

Luke smiled at them, "So you're planning to start college this year then?"

"Yip!" Casey agreed as he bit down on a slice of toast. "We did plan on doing Africa but now that we're back we've realised how much we missed the States."

"That's so romantic!" said Maddie dreamily, even though she'd already heard the story the night before.

They sat together and ate for a while, deliberately skirting the subject of Noah and trying to keep things as cheerful as possible. Luke was grateful for their effort but he found it difficult to eat and even more to lift his spirits. He ended up staring at his plate and cutting his egg into a million pieces.

"The idea is to actually EAT the food Luke…" Jonathan joked.

Just then his phone rang and Alison handed it to him as she walked around serving up orange juice.

"Hello?"

"Hello Luke, Detective Mullins here."

Luke scowled, "If you're phoning to apologies for letting Carmody go you're too late!"

"Luke, I understand how you feel about that. I really do. But the man admitted to what he did, he's prepared to face the consequences, he's remorseful and we have no reason or time to hold somebody like that. He's not a flight risk."

"Not a flight risk? He's gone Detective! He drove off that very night!"

"He's right here."

"What?"

"He's just turned himself back into the station. He said he fled because he was scared of what you would do. He said you were very angry."

Luke laughed bitterly, "Angry? Darn right I was angry!"

"He's asking to see you."

Luke wasn't expecting that and didn't know what to say.

"He does want to speak to you Luke, but he wants me to be there."

Luke shook his head. The coward!

"Luke? You still there?"

"Yes, I'll be there in and hour…"

As he hung up he heard a tentative but determined voice behind him say, "I'm going with you."

Josh stood in the doorway his eyes burning with feeling.

...

"Well now!" John exclaimed with a wide smile, watching as Lucinda swept across the floor of the Lakeview dining room towards him, "Don't you just brighten the room with your very presence?"

"Says a fine and dashing figure of a man such as yourself!" She replied, dropping her shawl and waiting while he kissed her cheek, before sitting on the chair he held out for her.

"I'm so pleased you had the time for lunch today my sweet! I'm sure you said you were going to slow down on the whole working thing!"

Lucinda smiled, "Well, you obviously don't know me as well as you think then… This IS me slowed down."

They both laughed.

The waitress interrupted them to hand Lucinda a menu and then John asked gravely, "Any news on Noah?"

"Yes. It's true I'm afraid."

"Oh Lord! That really is too bad…"

"As if those two boys haven't been through enough already! And right after the wedding like this! And, of course, as you know we've lost young Dr Oliver. I just wish there was something…" her sentence fell away as her vision settled on someone.

"Lu?"

But Lucinda was far away, remembering a gala event where she had been introduced to the man seated at a table not far from her. The man was a surgeon at Oakdale Memorial and, at the time, had expressed his delight at the amazing opportunity he'd been given to observe and learn from the operations conducted by the renowned Dr Reid Oliver. A man who absolutely never had the time or patients to pass on his skills; and certainly had never before allowed himself to be observed by anybody who wasn't his superior.

"John!" she exclaimed with excitement.

"Yes darling?"

"I think I may have found salvation!"

...

Thanks for reading...