Hn-ah! Wha- gah! Damned sun! Always getting in my eyes…
Huh? Where am I?
…did the game actually make me pull a Robin? I literally just woke up right smack dab in the middle of an open field!
Arrrgh… that's infuriating. Although it's also kind of ironic, considering that everyone who gets the power that I have now will eventually become godlike killing machines, and given what happens later on in Awakening's story, not to mention how obscenely broken the game is in your favor (when it's not on Lunatic, at least)… it kinda makes me look like a hypocrite.
Enough about that, though. After all, there are better places to take a nap than on the ground.
Okay… first things first, check the menu.
Main Menu
Settings
Guides
Sound Test
That'll do. Settings, you're up.
Settings Menu
HUD
Brightness
Saturation
Ambient Noise
Subtitles
Censor
Tutorial
That's… not much, but expected. I think I'll fool around with these a little bit.
OHGODMYEYES
O-KAY, NEVER TOUCHING BRIGHTNESS AGAIN!
Uhh… yeah, I think I'll leave saturation the way it is.
I don't want to go deaf, so no altering ambient noise.
I'd like to know what people are saying even if I'm not paying much attention, so subtitles are going on.
Censor? Ummm… tap it.
Censor - Bleeps out all language considered "foul" when in the presence of characters who dislike said language. Consider Mister Torgue as an example.
...we here at Serven Servos, Inc. sincerely think THIS IS F*BEEP*KING AWESOME! It's so awesome, in fact, that we're turning it on!
What does "HUD" entail?
HUD Menu
Opacity
Color
Change Layout
Hmm, 'kay. I can work with this.
…
Mm-hm… mm-hm… okay, I think I'm done.
I'd like to think that I know enough, but I'll play the tutorial just in case.
You have entered the "Tutorial" Instant Dungeon.
Damage taken reduced by 100%
Oh, great! I can at least take comfort knowing that I won't be able to die here, and can make as many mistakes as I can until I get the hang of it.
Welcome to the tutorial! Simply for participating, you get a reward!
Received a Bronze Sword.
...huh, didn't even notice I didn't have a weapon until now.
Can I… there we go!
Skill "Observe" created!
Bronze Sword
Might: 10
A cheap sword made out of a very common material. Doesn't do a lot of damage, but cannot break. Easy to hit with due to its low weight.
Requires a Sword Mastery level of 1 to use effectively.
Will reduce Agility if the wielder has a Strength stat lower than 5.
Quest Alert!
The Tutorial
You've decided to view the tutorial to get a feel for how the game will play. Follow the system's instructions to learn how to properly interact with the world around you.
Objectives:
-Follow the system's orders
-Complete the tutorial
Rewards:
50 EXP
50 Lien
2 pre-set skill books
1 skill of your choosing
This quest cannot be denied.
Interesting. What's next?
First things first, let's take a look at your character page. Say or think "status" to bring it up.
Standard fare so far.
'Status.'
Zeiss Serven
Title: Child Cynic
Class: Drifter
Level: 1
EXP: 0
Level Up at: 100
HP: 100
MP: 100
VIT - 10
STR - 10
INT - 10
DEX - 10
AGI - 10
RES - 5
LUK - 5
CHR - 10
Points: 0
Status: Healthy
Lien: 0
A teenager from Earth. Hopelessly addicted to video games, and has a cold, realist outlook on the world, but secretly wishes that everyone could see the obvious reasons to stop destroying everything and just respect each other. Constantly second-guesses himself. Has acclimatized to the use of snark and sarcasm so much that it has become difficult to go without them in some form for very long. Has not cried at a work of fiction for as long as he can remember.
What a fitting title.
That description is… accurate to a somewhat embarrassing degree. Although, I suppose I should expect nothing less. This is a god(dess) we're talking about, after all. I'm still proud of that last bit - not even Infinity War broke my walls down. However, I will say that it came the closest.
You already know what everything here means, so let's move on. Say or think "skills" to bring up your skill list.
'Skills.'
Skills
Gamer's Body [Passive] - Level MAX
Changes the user's body to that of a video game character. Any wounds inflicted on the user's body instantly disappear and the attack will instead deduct the user's HP. Sleeping in a bed will completely restore the user's HP and will cure all negative status effects. The user also no longer requires basic necessities to survive, such as food, water, or sleep. Due to the nature of the system, the user cannot be inflicted with the 'Fatigued' status effect.
Gamer's Mind [Passive] - Level MAX
Gives the user the ability to make clear decisions that are unaffected by their emotional state. Note that this will not make the user emotionless, and will only merely dampen their emotions if they get too out of control or impair judgement. This skill also prevents the user from suffering any status effects that deliberately attack the brain, such as Hypnosis, Berserk, and certain forms of Illusion.
Observe [Active] - Level MAX
Allows the user to check the character pages of other sentient beings, as well as all entities that wish to do harm upon the user, and appraise items that are not sentient. Note that the user cannot see the character pages of any sentient being or enemy that is 100 or more levels higher than the user.
Sword Mastery [Passive] - Level 20/100
Allows the user to wield swords of all shapes and sizes with increased efficiency. Each level increases damage the user deals with swords by 1%. Sword Skills will be unlocked upon reaching certain levels of this skill. Note that some weapons may require a certain level or higher of this skill to use properly.
Why is my Sword Mastery Level at 20? Is it because I'm a Drifter? Wait…
The average mercenary usually starts out with, at the very least, a D Rank in Swords. D is the 2nd Rank out of 5 for weapon levels, going from E, D, C, B, and finally A. Although, there is the matter of S Rank, but if I remember correctly, you couldn't get it until you promoted to an advanced class.
Does this mean that once I promote, I'll be able to grow it up to level 120?
While I'm on that topic, how do I promote, anyway? Do I just have to get up to a certain level? Or do I have to find a special item?
Hold on a sec… if I push this…
Sword Skills:
Personal Skill: Heroic Continuity
Strike a single enemy 4 times in quick succession. Each strike has a base power of STR x 1.5. Weapon Might is multiplied by 1.5. Each strike has a 25% increased chance to crit. Requires 15 standard attacks to use.
Level 5: Powerslash
Strike a single foe with a hard and fast hit. Has a base power of STR x 1.4. Multiplies weapon Might by 1.5. Inflicts Knockback.
Level 10: Sword Flurry
Unleash a series of 8 lightning-fast stabs. Each stab has a base power of STR x 0.4 and has a 15% chance to inflict Bleed.
Level 20: Bullrush
Lunge forward towards an opponent with your sword out front. Enemies caught in the path of the attack take reduced damage and are blown back. The lunge has a base power of STR x 1.2 and the target will be inflicted with Knockback. Enemies hit along the way take a base value of STR x 0.8 as damage and are inflicted with Knockback.
Level 25: Powerslash+
An upgraded version of Powerslash. Base power is boosted to STR x 1.8. If the skill is blocked or parried, it now has a 5% chance to disarm the target. Skill now has a flat 50% chance to ignore Knockback immunity.
Level 35: Blade Beam
Shoot a crescent wave of energy from your sword. Dissipates after hitting an opponent or a sufficiently strong object. Has a base power of STR x 0.8.
Level 40: Sword Flurry+
An upgraded version of Sword Flurry. Base power is boosted to STR x 0.7 + AGI x 0.4. Bleed chance is boosted to 20% and can now be stacked on top of itself to multiply the effect if more than one stab inflicts Bleed.
Level 45: Bullrush+
An upgraded version of Bullrush. Lunge target now suffers forced Blowdown and STR x 1.5 + AGI x 0.5 of base damage. Enemies caught in the lunge now receive STR x 0.9 + AGI x 0.3 as base damage.
Level 50: Cross-Strike
A 5-Slash combo that inflicts Slowdown on a single enemy. All 5 slashes must connect for the skill to deal damage. Has a base power of STR x 2.0.
Level 55: Blade Beam+
An upgraded version of Blade Beam. After hitting an enemy, the wave will seek out and strike other opponents that are close by up to 5 times. If there are no enemies to chain to, the wave hits twice and deals extra damage on the 2nd hit. Has a base power of STR x 1.0. Single-target bonus hit has a base power of STR x 1.3.
Level 65: Tempest Slash
A localized tornado of attacks that sends you and your opponents flying upwards. Enemies caught in the attack radius will be damaged 3 times and have Blowdown inflicted on them. Each hit has a base power of STR x 0.4. Each hit fills the Personal Skill gauge by 1 point.
Level 70: Cross-Strike+
An upgraded version of Cross-Strike. Slash speed is greatly increased for easier landing of hits. Each Slash now has an individual Critical hit roll - if any one of the 5 slashes is a Critical, the entire attack will be a Critical hit. Base power boosted to STR x 3.0.
Level 75: Dancing Blade
A 4-Hit combo that features 3 different variations.
Standard: Extra 20% Critical chance on each strike. Each strike has a base power of STR x 0.8.
Upward: Final strike inflicts Launch. Each strike has a base power of STR x 0.6.
Downward: Final strike hits 5 times and inflicts Topple. Each strike has a base power of STR x 0.5
Level 85: Tempest Slash+
An upgraded version of Tempest Slash. Base power boosted to STR x 0.5. Each hit now fills the Personal Skill gauge by 2 points.
Level 95: Dancing Blade+
An upgraded version of Dancing Blade.
Standard: Extra Critical chance on each strike boosted to 50%. Base power boosted to STR x 1.0.
Upward: Final strike now forces Launch. Base power boosted to STR x 0.8.
Downward: Final strike now forces Topple. Third strike now inflicts Smash when used in the air. Base power boosted to STR x 0.7.
Level 100: Astra
Slow down time to a near-stop and deliver 5 devastating attacks with a bonus 40% Critical chance. Each strike has a base power of STR x 1.5.
Level MAX (120): Meteorfall
Rain destruction upon a foe with 15 earthshaking sword strikes that are guaranteed Critical hits. 4th hit inflicts Break. 8th hit inflicts Topple. 12th hit inflicts Launch. Final hit inflicts Smash. Each hit has a base power of STR x 1.4.
Well, damn. That is some serious broke-ass shit right there. And it looks like I was right about the S-Rank thing.
...eh, actually, maybe they're not as broken as I think. From what I can tell, the only way they can be upgraded is by leveling up Sword Mastery, and even then the last 2 skills don't get upgrades. Probably 'cause they're already busted enough. Then there's the fact that at base, a lot of them are based off Strength multipliers, which can either work in my favor or really screw me over. It depends, really.
Wait… 'Topple'… 'Launch'… 'Knockback'… those are all Xenoblade status effects. That means something significant for sure. Tempest Blade, too - that's practically a copy-paste of Dunban's Soaring Tempest, especially the Talent Art thing. Man, the combo to Blossom Dance was so freaking overpowered during chain attacks...
Looks pretty barren right now (not counting the sword skills), but don't worry - you should know how fast this will fill up.
Yep.
Since you don't know you have it yet, let's check your support log. Say or think "supports" to bring it up.
That's new. Supports.
Support log
Affinity: Anima
You have not met anyone that you can support with yet.
As expected - empty.
Also barren, but then again, you haven't even seen another human yet.
Uh-huh.
Now to check out your items. Say or think "inventory."
Inventory.
Inventory
Melee weapons
Ranged weapons
Headgear
Armwear
Bodywear
Legwear
Footwear
Battle
Materials
Other
As you can see, your inventory is divided into 10 main categories, each containing items pertaining to the name of the category. You won't need to worry about carrying too much, since your space is unlimited. Tapping one of the categories will expand it and allow you to see all the items inside it. Try doing this now to check your current gear.
Okay. How about Bodywear?
Bodywear
Melee Pride (Equipped)
A T-shirt showcasing the four stages of the Ken Combo with an orange background.
Oh, thank god. Good to know that's still there. What about Legwear?
Legwear
Yankee Scotsman (Equipped)
A pair of shorts with a plaid pattern, but with a blue, black and white color scheme.
Okay, good, so at least my clothes made it out with me. Footwear?
Footwear
Old Faithful (Equipped)
A pair of black Dickies with the soles being painted with a white stripe.
Nice, nice, nice. Good. All my clothes are with me. What a relief - I don't know what I'd do if I started naked…
Oh, there's something else you should know - due to the way Aura works, most of the gear that you and other aura users acquire will be purely cosmetic, aside from weapons and other such things. As you can probably tell, body armor doesn't really have a purpose if you already have a natural shield.
"..."
...oh my god, it's Team Fortress 2 all over again.
…
All the other categories (except for Melee weapons, which has my new Bronze Sword) are empty. Which is expected, but somewhat disappointing nonetheless. I was half-expecting some mysterious item that was already in there.
Great! Now that that's out of the way, we can get down to the real meat and bones of the game - combat!
Alright, yeah!
You will be taught the basics of battle by participating in one. Here, have a Beowolf.
That's… unsettling.
Let's observe it.
Beowolf
Level: 2
HP: 500
VIT: 50
STR: 15
INT: 0
DEX: 8
AGI: 9
RES: 4
LUK: 0
CHR: 0
Status: Healthy
A Beowolf created simply for the purpose of teaching you how combat works. Will deal no damage if its attacks connect and doesn't have any skills. In short: free EXP.
Hmm… higher strength and more HP, but less everything else. That should mean I have the advantage. But god damn, is that description depressing.
Walking into an enemy's line of sight or detection range will cause you to be targeted by that enemy. Raising your weapon against them or being attacked will initiate a battle.
That feels familiar… I've seen that before. Wasn't it Xenoblade that did this? Yeah, it was.
You have been targeted by: x1 Beowolf (Level 2)
ACTIVATING COMBAT MODE
There's the Crisis Core-style battle intro.
"Bring it on."
Track Cue: Time to Fight (Xenoblade Chronicles)
Nice. I always did enjoy this theme. Not as badass as the Unique Monster Battle theme, though.
Moving into weapon range and striking your enemy without using arts or skills will result in an auto-attack, and will count towards filling up your Personal Skill meter. Try using some auto-attacks now.
So… the combat system is ripped straight from Xenoblade. Makes sense, considering the status effects I saw before.
Hang on, wait. How many other skills did my Sword Mastery thing have? Right, there was… Powerslash, Sword Flurry, Bullrush, Blade Beam, Cross-Strike, Tempest Slash, Dancing Blade, Astra, and Meteorfall. Not counting upgrades, that's… 9 skills.
Just enough to completely fill the classic Xenoblade palette of 8 different swappable Arts, if we count the ult-Skill as a Chain Attack substitute to make room for my Personal Skill being the Talent Art knock-off. Oh, that dev team, those magnificent bastards. But enough of that.
So I guess I just… run up to it and start hacking? Okay.
Hah!
-20 HP
Beowolf HP: 480/500
Huh. So if I'm reading into this correctly, the damage I deal is calculated by adding my Strength stat to my weapon's Might stat, then adding any damage modifiers (Sword Mastery in this case,) and finally subtracting the enemy's Resistance stat.
If I do some quick math here… at this current rate of damage, I'll be able to kill the Beowolf in exactly… 24 more auto-attacks.
-0 HP
Current HP: 100
Ow! Hey, what the hell, bro?! You don't just claw someone when they're strategizing! I'll have you know that talking is, in fact, a free action in this universe! You're gonna pay for that!
-20 HP
Beowolf HP: 460/500
That looked like it stung. You'll have to avoid that if you want to win this battle. Looks like it's time for a Piccolo-approved tutorial on how to DODGE!
You'll notice that nearly all enemies slightly telegraph their attacks before they strike you. Take advantage of that and move in the right direction before they hit you to avoid damage!
…that's so Punch-Out. This game is just one big mess of crossovers, isn't it?
In any case… there! It looks like he's going for an overhand swipe with his right claw, which means I should dodge… to the right?
MISS!
Ha, success!
Good job! Now, as you'd expect, enemy attacks will become much more difficult to telegraph later in the game. Some of their tells are very hard to spot and may come a scant few milliseconds before their attack lands, so raising both your Dexterity and Agility will be key for attack dodging. In some rare cases, they may not even telegraph their attacks at all, and you will have to rely purely on reaction time or careful analysis of your opponent's fighting style to avoid or mitigate damage. That will come in due time, however. Keep fighting the Beowolf for now, and fill up that Personal Skill meter! And while you're at it, try out some of the skills granted to you by Sword Mastery!
Alright, then.
-20 HP
Beowolf HP: 440/500
Okay, left claw for a side-swipe, so… backstep?
MISS!
All right, I think I'm getting the hang of it!
-20 HP
Beowolf HP: 420/500
Heh. 420.
I think it's time I used a skill. How 'bout the iconic 'Power Strike' ability?
'Powerslash.'
"Seii-YAH!"
-30 HP
Beowolf HP: 390/500
Status effect "Knockback" inflicted.
Knockback
Too much of this may cause a collision with the camera. Forcibly blows back the victim and cancels any attack they were preparing or using.
Wow, that really did hit him hard. I can't believe it - I just managed to make a Beowolf lose its footing and stagger backwards!
Oh, interesting. Looks like it's now on cool-down. How long's it take to recharge?
Whoop!
MISS!
Huh, not long at all. What was that, like, 5 seconds? Niiice. I have a feeling that'll come in handy in the future for interrupting focused attacks.
Let's try another. Mmm… how about going in order and trying the multi-hit next?
'Sword Flurry.'
"Hnnn-YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!"
8 HITS
-96 HP
Beowolf HP: 294/500
Whoa-ho-ho! Look at those sexy numbers! That's an amazing skill!
Except that insane damage output probably means that it has a really long cool-down time.
And none of those hits triggered Bleed! What the hell, RNJesus?
Nyauh!
MISS!
Yep, it does. I won't be using that again any time soon.
I might as well be calling this guy 'Glass Joe' on account of how easy it is to avoid his attacks.
Well, one left. I bet this one's great for taking down fleeing foes. Not to mention the name can be hilarious in the right context.
'Bullrush.'
"Yeaaah!"
Wheee!
-22 HP
Beowolf HP: 272/500
Status effect "Knockback" inflicted.
That definitely pushed him back.
Ooh, salty runback?
MISS!
Yeah, no.
Well, that's all my current sword skills. I think I might as well fill up my Personal Skill and see how it does.
Wait, what's…?
Before we forget: Some skills allow you to pay a flat MP cost to negate the cooldown time and immediately use the skill again. Keep in mind that most high-level skills won't allow this, as you would most likely become powerful enough in time to render cooldown periods moot.
While we're on the subject: MP also has a flat regen rate of 1% of your maximum capacity per second. Certain skills and special items can increase this.
Oh, so that's what that is. Looks like mana isn't completely muda after all!
Don't really think I need it, though. I'm pretty sure I've already got this in the bag.
A short time later...
Personal Skill meter's full! I'm rrreally feeling it!
Here we go!
'Heroic Continuity.'
4 HITS
CRITICAL!
CRITICAL!
-180 HP
Beowolf HP: 0/500
And THAT'S how to properly style all over a mook!
Beowolf (Level 2) Slain!
+100 EXP
+10 Lien
LEVEL UP!
VIT: 10 + 5
STR: 10 + 5
INT: 10 + 4
DEX: 10 + 5
AGI: 10 + 5
RES: 5 + 3
LUK: 5 + 2
CHR: 10 + 2
+5 Stat points
Learned "Fireball!"
Learned "Adept!"
Level Up at: 200 EXP
Track Cue: Victory! Cloud (Super Smash Bros. 4)
YOU WON!
Battle Rewards:
x1 Beowolf Fur
x1 Potion
Niiiice. I'm liking what I'm seeing. From what I can tell, I get a set stat increase every time I level up. Whether or not the stat increase will be the exact same every time remains to be seen. And apparently I get skills on certain levels. I wonder what the fur is…
Beowolf Fur
A strip of fur that's hard as leather. Potentially an amazing material for clothing because of its longevity and comfort, it is left unappreciated due to being incredibly hard to obtain owing to its nature to disintegrate along with its source.
Hmm… interesting. As it stands, though, I currently don't have any way to make use of it. I'll just stick it in my inventory. What about the potion?
Potion
A single-use item that restores 100 HP. If HP is full, restores 100 AP if user has unlocked Aura.
Wow. That would have been a full heal a few seconds ago. But considering how fast I'm growing, this might become obsolete quickly. Or… actually, wait. If I can stock up on a shit-ton of these and then spam them all at once… hm. That idea may have potential. I'll keep that little tidbit on the backburner for now.
Bra-vo! Nicely done!
Why, thank you!
Looks like you just completed your first quest! Take a look!
Quest Complete!
The Tutorial
Rewards Recieved:
50 EXP
50 Lien
ID Create
ID Escape
1 skill of your choosing
Pick one:
Wrath
Resolve
Vantage
Ooohhh… that's a toughie. Although… can I get a description?
Wrath
Boosts user's chance to perform a critical hit by the percentage of max HP they are currently missing.
Resolve
Multiplies user's DEX and AGI by 1.5 and STR by 1.25 when user is at or below half HP.
Vantage
If user initiates a battle, user's accuracy and evade is increased until the battle ends. User will also inflict the "Flinch" status effect on enemies within a 20-foot radius around the targeted enemy. Skill will not trigger if an enemy initiates battle.
Hmm… well, it looks like it's a choice between Wrath and Resolve. Vantage seems nice, but looks very situational, and if I had to guess, I'd say that I'll probably manage to get it sometime later. And given its effect and the fact that Vantage's Japanese name is Ambush, I think I know exactly how to create it myself.
Still… I think Resolve might be the better choice here. Wrath relies on RNG for the majority of its activation, and if there's one thing I've learned from Fire Emblem, it's that you should always, and I mean ALWAYS, expect RNJesus to screw you over at every possible opportunity. Whether it be missing 80-90% chances to hit, or an enemy getting a 1% critical hit that kills a unit, it's always something. Sure, once I hit red-zone HP levels I'll be critting like no tomorrow, but by that point I might as well be already dead. I can take comfort in the fact that Resolve will always activate without fail.
Skill "Resolve" selected. Are you sure?
Yes No
Yes.
"Resolve" added to skill list.
Good, good.
Good choice! Now, we'd like to take a moment to explain something: you cannot gain stats by training them. Instead, training will grant you EXP, and will provide various amounts given the length and intensity of the training.
That's… odd, but not unreasonable. I did just gain a total of 36 stat points from a single level, after all. Although, I suppose this means that my growth will taper off once I get to a high enough level.
Skills level up in much the same way - training them grants them EXP, and once they have enough, they will level up. In fact, why don't we take a look at the ones you got now?
That seems like a good idea. Skills.
Skills
Gamer's Body
Gamer's Mind
Observe
Sword Mastery - Level 20/100
Fireball [Active] - Level 1/10
Cost: 40 MP
Throw a ball of pure thermal energy at your enemies. Has a base power of INT x 1.5. Has a 40% chance of causing the "Burn" status effect. Ignores 30% of target's RES.
Adept [Passive] - Level 1/10
Adds a 5% chance to all active skills that, when triggered, causes the skill used to be completely refreshed with no cooldown time and the skill to instantly be ready for a second use. Certain active skills have less of a chance for this skill to activate on them.
ID Create [Active] - Level 1/20
The quintessential skill that's every grinder's wet dream. Allows you to create a reality based upon your surroundings where nothing but you and select individuals determined by you exist. Said realities can also be tweaked to spawn monsters to slay, or the reality can remain unaltered for a duel with no interruptions, or a good place to talk without anyone else listening. Note that sometimes the reality created may be completely different from your surroundings.
Current dungeons:
Empty
Beowolf Apocalypse
ID Escape [Active] - Level 1/20
Allows you to escape from an Instant Dungeon. EXP pool is shared with ID Create - they will always have the same amount of EXP and the same level.
Resolve [Passive] - Level 1/5
Nice, nice. Good shit.
Well, it looks like t-th-t-th-t-that's all, folks! For now at least. Further tutorials will be provided as new mechanics appear.
Looney Tunes, check that off the list.
You have exited the "Tutorial" Instant Dungeon.
Done, and done. Now… where do I go from here?
...why is there a blue exclamation point next to that road, and how did I not notice said road before?
Whatever. Prior experience tells me to approach the mark.
Mach Speed Stage 1
Patch
"Emerald Hill"
Best Time: - - : - -
Best Rank: -
...what the hell? First RWBY, then Fire Emblem, then Xenoblade, then Punch-Out, and now Sonic?
Three questions.
One: Who the fuck came up with all this?
Two: What were they smoking?
Three: Where can I get some?
Actually, disregard that last one, 'cause drugz r bad, mmkay? Forget about the second one, too - I don't think I even want to know.
In any case, if I'm reading into this correctly, this could be either Genesis-style, Adventure-style, or Modern-style. Leaning a bit more towards Modern though, given the name "Mach Speed" and how often it's associated with the boost.
View "Mach Speed Stage" tutorial?
Yes, thank you.
In Mach Speed stages, your DEX and AGI are buffed to obscene heights, but your VIT plummets straight down to 1 while your RES is completely ignored. You will be given most of the Blue Blur's recent techniques, including the Spin Jump, Boost, Quick Step, Homing Attack, Wall Jump, Drift, and Light Speed Dash. Most enemies will go down in one hit, but be on the lookout for exceptions to this rule. The main objective of these stages is to get to the goal at the end of the stage in the shortest time possible, collecting as many rings and destroying as many enemies as you can along the way, and looking as cool as you can while doing it. Once a stage is completed, you may return to the starting point of it to replay it at any time for a shorter time or a better rank. The rank you get determines the amount of EXP gained for finishing a stage. For example:
S rank: Automatic level up
A rank: 75% to next level
B rank: 50% to next level
C rank: 25% to next level
However, if you decide to retry the stage, you will only get EXP if you get a better rank than any previous attempt. Getting an S rank invalidates the stage from experience gain. But we know you'll eventually come back and do them again just for the thrill ride.
Okay. I already know how to play a boost stage from past experience and watching others, and considering that this is the first one, it shouldn't be too hard. Let's do this!
Play stage?
Yes No
'Yes.'
Loading…
I have come to eat chili dogs and go fast. And I'm all out of chili dogs...
Loading complete.
STAGE 1
Patch
Emerald Hill
Objective: Explore Patch, and find the town's central square!
Wow, this game is just a massive mix of anachronism. Subtitles from Forces, combined with the Adventure 2 pre-stage screen - complete with an objective box.
Not important right now, though.
Track Cue: Windmill Isle - Day (Sonic Unleashed)
Ready…
Oh, we're going with that theme, huh? Well, to rub it in, I think I'll do some pre-stage stretching, complete with the start line.
"Here we…"
"GO!"
Start slow, accelerate up to max speed.
Ring trail - which means the beginning of the infinite boost!
"WOOOO!"
Semi-sharp turn coming up - time to draw upon my inner Takumi and Kansei Dorifuto this bitch! Go on the outside, wait for the right moment, and…
SCREEEEEEEEEEECH!
"rrrrrrrrrrRRRRRAAAAAH!"
Wow, nailed it on the first try!
180 degree turn in a few seconds, but the arrow tells me that the game wants me to go straight… into the forest, then!
Oh, hey, Beowolves! H-oooh, that's gotta sting. Oh-ho-ho, he's gonna be feeling that one in the morning.
SLAM! +1000
Kinda hilarious how it took me over half a minute to take down one of these guys a short while ago, and now I'm just blazing through them like so many flimsy Badniks. Because who doesn't love Boost-to-win?
GAAAAAASP
BOUNCE PAD
DEOWRUNNNG!
Ohh, Homing Attack trail fodder in the form of Nevermores!
One down! Two down! Three down! Four down!
Radical! +4000
Suddenly rail. Grind time!
Huh… I expected it to be harder to keep my balance on these things, but apparently the game helps me in that regard. Which probably explains how I'm not losing speed while grinding on a rail that angles up a lot. Sonic physics make no sense, nothing new there.
And now there's three rails… complete with orange and rainbow rings. And is it me, or are those Nevermores readying their flechette feathers?
Oh… it's just like those portions with the flying green laser beam robots.
Nothing I haven't handled before.
Jump… left, hit the boost ring! Woot!
Go right, wait for the knifestorm to end…
Go right again, dodge the flechette laser…
Left again.
They're going two at a time now.
Left…
Oh, shit! Right twice!
Mama miaaaaaaa-!
Whew! Made it!
CRAP, LEFT TWICE!
WAAAAACK!
Holy Jesus, that was close!
Oh. Is that a corkscrew leading to a loop? Hoo boy, brace yourself-!
WHOAAAAAAOH!
Woo, what a thrill ride! Looks like it's going back down to the forest floor, though.
Oh, boy! Quick-step section!
The trick to these is to follow the ring trails!
Is that a tree headed straight for me at who-knows-how-many-miles per hour?
NyaaaaaaRIGHT!
Left!
Left!
Right!
Short hop! (Fast fall! L-Cancel! Wait, this isn't Melee!)
Left!
Right!
Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Left right right left left right up up down down left right left right B A start!
Cheat Code denied!
Little too close for comfort, but at least I'm out of the forest.
'Cheat Code denied?' Wait, did I unintentionally recite the Konami Code? Actually, no, that's not important right now.
Trick ramp at the edge of a cliff, coming up!
Hup!
3 trick positions…
One…
Good!
Two…
Great!
Three!
AWESOME! +5000
Take that, Chuggaa! I didn't just "press A" this time!
Upper route boyz!
Wuh-oh, multiple tight turns ahead! I know what that means!
ON-FOOT INERTIA DRIFT!
"N… Nani?!"
Start on outside, hug curve, end on outside, switch directions, rinse and repeat until turns stop!
Oh. I don't think I can jump up that cliff with strength alone…
But there is a hook on top of it, so that means an arena!
Oh… three Ursai. Joy.
Well, no problem! Just homing attack 'em all 'till they drop!
One-two-three hit combo! Four-five-six, seven-eight-nine hit combo!
9 HITS
Tight! +9000
Grab the hook-WHOA, geez! I like going fast, but that felt like my arm was going to get dislocated! Take it easy, will ya?
Mrrh.
BOOST SECTION!
"GOOOOO!"
WOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOOO!
Another upper pathway! Jump!
Woo!
QuickTime launcher! Jump… forward! Double K.O.!
OK! +1000
Launch ramp to quicktime jump pad combo!
Jump… there!
Nice!
And… there!
Good!
Finally… back to the ground… stick the landing and keep running!
Great! +3000
More boosting!
Hold up, was that the Xiao-Long residence I just buzzed? I wonder if anyone's home…
Wait, I can't think about that now! There's more Beowolves to boost through!
The way that they get knocked back when I blast into them is hilarious.
SLAM! +1000
Oof… Summer's grave. Best not to dwell on that.
Another, this time on a cliff!
With Nevermores! And another rail at the end!
Too close for missiles! Switch to hedgehogs!
Double kill! TRIPLE KILL! ULTRA KILL! RAMPAGE!
Jammin'! +5000
I wonder if I should start calling myself the "Radical Train"... nah, that's a cheap joke.
I am riding on a rail though, so I guess that makes me a monorail?
Oh wait, there's another. And the one I'm riding ends pretty soon. So… jump right.
Rainbow ring coming up… jump! Yeah!
Grinding in a circle… good thing I'm not getting dizzy.
Yet another BOUNCE PAD!
BOOOOOST!
"HYEAH!"
That looks like the main road, up ahead!
If I follow this… yep! Patch Town, at 12 o'clock!
And there's the goal ring!
Track Cue: Results Screen (Sonic Forces)
How did I do?
Time: 2:44
Enemies: 38
Rings: 246
Bonus: 29,000
Untouchable: 30,000
Rank: S
Beautiful!
S rank! +150 EXP
Level up!
VIT: 15 + 5
STR: 15 + 5
INT: 14 + 4
DEX: 15 + 5
AGI: 15 + 5
RES: 8 + 3
LUK: 7 + 2
CHR: 12 + 2
+5 Stat points
Learned "Imbue!"
Level Up at: 250 EXP
Stage Rewards:
"Modern Classic"
"Silent Strong-Arm"
Wow. Amazing! So not only do I get experience based on my rank, I also get items by just completing the stage!
Why didn't the tutorial tell me that?
Ah, worry about that later. I now have confirmation that my stat growths upon level up are fixed, and probably won't change.
What good shit did I get?
Imbue [Active] - Level 1/10
Cost: 45 MP
A simple healing spell that can be used on anything that can be healed. Restores INT x 2 points worth of HP/AP.
So it's pretty much "Light Heal" or "Cure," but under a different moniker. 'A rose by any other name is just as sweet,' I suppose. What are the items I got?
Ranged Weapons
Modern Classic (Summermeadow EMP-4)
A 9mm self-defense handgun modeled after the fourth edition of Earth's Springfield Enhanced Micro-Pistol, with a 4-inch barrel and carrying 10 bullets per mag. Reliable and easy to maintain and practice with, having low recoil to boot. Practically the only downside is the relatively low potential for damage.
Deals 40 damage per shot using standard dust ammunition.
Woot! I have a ranged weapon now!
Headgear
Silent Strong-Arm
A pair of sunglasses favored by Rude, partner of Reno and prominent member of the Turks. Manufactured by the Shin-Ra Electric Power Company, these badass shades have been extensively modified with all sorts of gadgets fitting of the person who wears them the most.
Wearer cannot be affected by the "Blind" status effect
Bio and facial recognition allows wearer to mark individuals and track them via the minimap
Comes equipped with a flashlight as well as a camera and microphone for recording
Can switch to thermal and ultraviolet vision
If this item is destroyed at any time, a duplicate will appear inside the wearer's most convenient pocket (preferably one inside the shirt). If there is no pocket, the wearer can simply reach behind their back, and a duplicate will appear.
Whoaaa-ho-ho-ho! Did I just get a bona-fide pair of spy-shades? And they're modeled after Rude's too, so bonus points! I think I'll go ahead and equip those…
Ranged Weapon "Modern Classic" equipped
Headgear "Silent Strong-Arm" equipped
There we go!
Would you look at that - you finally got yourself a gun! You know what that means?
Uh… I get to shoot shit?
Well, that too, but it also means I get to introduce you to one of the more unique mechanics of this game! I call it the "Bullet Points" system!
"Bullet Points?"
Let me explain. You see, I decided to be nice and let you have unlimited standard ammo. I mean, you don't see any BLADEs paying for bullets in NLA, do you?
Come to think of it, yeah. It's like all ammo is provided free of charge, and they just pull mags out of nowhere when reloading…
But then came the problem of elemental ammunition. You being the Gamer and all, I knew it wouldn't be long until you got your intelligence to the point where you could exploit the loophole in the system that would allow you to have infinite amounts of fire or ice or electrical or who-knows-what bullets. To prevent you from achieving that game-breaking bug, I came up with the idea of "Bullet Points" - a system where all standard ammunition is free, but elemental ammo has a price.
Yeah, that's reasonable. And I totally would have done that. I do fancy myself as a cheating bastard - gotta counteract the even more bullshit-pulling computer somehow, right? And I have no shame in admitting that I have abused save-states to grind in the Arena in the earlier Fire Emblem games whenever I played on an emulator.
So here's how the system works: I already told you that standard ammunition costs nothing. See, when you reach certain level benchmarks, you unlock a new type of elemental ammunition. Here's a freebie: once you hit level 5, you'll unlock Fire ammunition, which costs one BP for every shot you fire. Oh, and before I forget: you cannot increase the BP meter simply by leveling up - you'll have to scour the world for materials to build an expansion mag for the meter, then build more for a bigger meter. Once you hit the higher levels, you'll unlock more ammo types, and you'll eventually get the real good stuff - but keep in mind that to use said real good stuff for prolonged periods of time, you'll have to get crackin' on those expansion mags. Also, another thing: certain ranged skills also cost BP to use, so keep an eye out for that. Oh, and remember this: just as there are HP and Aura restoring skills and items, so too are there BP restoring skills and items.
Huh. What would an item like that be? Maybe just an ordinary rifle magazine? Meh, probably.
But I don't have time to dwell on that. I'm about to enter my first hub-type area!
Landmark Discovered
Patch Town Main Street
+50 EXP
Track Cue: Clock Town, First Day (The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D)
Clock Town? Why that one? I mean, it's good, but I don't think the moon has any plans to come crashing down on the planet in 72 hours, being shattered and all. Speaking of which, what time is it, anyway?
Huh, only 8:05 in the morning. Bright and early. I suppose that's to be expected, given that I have to get up at 7 A.M. every weekday just to get myself ready to go to school.
What's the minimap say? And where's the tavern, or the inn, or whatever the place you go to get a drink and bed at's called? Oh, there it is.
Because apparently all the side quests come from taverns slash inns. Why? Hell if I know. I wasn't alive during the first half of the second millennium.
And while I'm at it, I might as well see if I can grab some alcohol and net myself a poison resistance skill. Gamer's Mind did say that it negates all status effects that attack the brain, and consuming too much alcohol at a time generally does result in a loss of brain cells (or so I've heard), so that should make logical sense. Although, that brings up the question of how Qrow does it…
Right, Qrow. He should be training up Ruby sometime between today and the next two years, right? Which probably means he'll be around Patch a lot.
Man, it'd be hilarious if I ran into him today in the tavern-
Wait. Shit.
Oooooh crap, I totally just tempted fate, didn't I?
Fuck. Uhhh, RNGoddess? Anna? If you're listening… could you please not screw me over this one time? Liek, pls?
Hold on a minute. That logo looks familiar…
'The Barrelhaven Tavern?'
Oh, don't tell me… who's the owner?
Lucien Dowes
Shake, Rattle and Roll
Marshall
Level 87
Called it. The guy's a dead ringer for Lucius. Oh man, it's been so long since I last read anything Bone-related. White hair, wrinkles… plus the fact that his name doesn't resemble a color, so he's gotta be at least 80 years old. And yet he still looks like a freaking giant. How the hell did he get his arms that big, anyway? Aura?
I'm just gonna take these off…
Headgear "Silent Strong-Arm" unequipped.
I mean, really, who wears sunglasses inside a building? Or at night, for that matter? It's just weird. Not to mention counter-productive.
Here's hoping that this tavern doesn't use a barter system.
Actually, never mind, they don't. Phew.
Wait a second, does this mean that Thorn and Gran'ma Ben live here, too?! Oh, hell, that's a can of worms I don't want to open… and that's not counting all of the villains that The Valley's held over its history.
Considering what happened to Phoney Bone the first time he entered this joint, I don't think it would be in my best interests to march straight to the counter and yell "BARTENDER! BRING ME A BEER!" I'd probably end up washing dishes. Then again, I might get a Skill for it… nah, that'd be way too situational. Actually, that reminds me, how much money do I have right now?
'Status.'
Now, where- ah, there it is.
Lien: 60
Huh. Right - I got 10 from killing the Beowolf, and 50 from completing the tutorial. Considering the prices of everything here, from what I can tell, it's surprisingly similar to American dollar rates. Go figure, huh? Looks like living in California my entire life has paid off, in a weird sort of way.
Although, considering the rates in mainstream RPGs, this might as well be zero. I mean, the price of a single potion in FFVII is like 50-100 Gil, and they're literally only useful until you get a Restore materia. Which you get not even 10 minutes into the game. Although, to be fair, you can't actually equip and use it until later when you get the forced 'equipping materia for dummies' tutorial. Anyway, point is, from a game standpoint, I'm broke. And to fix that, I have to do stuff and kill shit. To do that, I have to find Remnant's equivalent to a bounty board. Question is, where the hell is it?
?
"Hey there, kiddo. You looking for something?"
Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.
Qrow Branwen
Dusty Old Crow
Vanguard
Level ?
Why, Anna? Why must you treat my grand adventure as nothing more than a game for your own amusement? Why have you forsaken me? Why - wait, shit, the "game" excuse is now rendered invalid because my life is literally a video game, isn't it? I'll have to come up with a new complaint-
Qrow
"Hello? Anyone in there?"
Ah, hell! Wing it!
"Not at this moment, no, unfortunately. You'll have to leave a message after the beep."
I can't believe I just said that.
Qrow
"Oh. Well, I'm waiting. When's the beep?"
Um, okay, 'kay 'kay 'kay, ah, make a phone joke! No, wait, don't say phone, those don't exist here, umm… just don't mention a calling apparatus besides scroll, and you'll be fine!
"Hold on, someone just came in… yeah, looks like they're picking up. They'll be on the line in three, two, one, now. Hello."
How in the hell did I come up with all that on the spot? The self I know would only be able to pull that off after a spark of inspiration and several minutes of careful deliberation. Is this the work of my Charm stat?
Qrow
"Hello, yourself. I've been trying to get you to answer for quite a few seconds. What gives?"
"Yeah, sorry. Got held up by a little something that caught my attention a little too much to just pull away from until it was taken care of. You know what I mean, right?"
Qrow
"I hear that. So have you noticed that neither of us are holding scrolls? Or that we don't even know each other's names yet?"
"Ah, right, sorry. Zeiss Serven. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Qrow
"Qrow Branwen. Nice to meet you too, kid. So would you mind answering my earlier question?"
"As a matter of fact, I am. You know a spot where I can take on odd jobs and the like for some quick cash or other rewards? I have a feeling it's in this building, I just don't know where."
Qrow
"Well, if that's what you're looking for, sure. Request Bulletin's just over there. But, if you don't mind me asking, how'd you know where to check? You don't look like you're from around here. Tack on that you don't have a weapon, the fact that you seem pretty young, and… well, you can't blame an old crow for being curious, can you?
"Once you play enough RPGs, it becomes an ingrained habit to check the local tavern or inn of any new town for available side-quests. I figured there was at least some reason for that specific location to be chosen for request hubs, and apparently my "Truth in Television" hunch paid off. I will say that I didn't expect it to be true, though."
Qrow
"Why didn't you just look it up?"
"Lived a bit of an isolated life. Never really had CCT access, but I did manage to snag some archaic consoles and games with a bit of subtle manipulation-"
Qrow
"You begged, didn't you?"
"I prefer the term 'persuaded,' but moving on - I grabbed mostly strategy and role-playing, with some platformers and shooters for good measure, and went nuts. When you go through the motions, you eventually realize that there are certain trends that every game within a genre will follow to some extent. What we've been talking about was one of the more obvious ones."
Qrow
"You're talking about this in past-tense. What happened?"
"I'll give you a clue: red, white, and black all over. Three guesses, and the first two don't count."
Qrow
"Right, gotcha. You don't seem very bothered by it."
"Eh, I've never really been good at the whole 'emotions' thing. Always prided myself on being a man of logic and reason - heh, if I didn't have plans to waste the rest of my life away in front of a screen, I might've moved to Atlas to become a scientist. Made the pain of losing everyone and everything much easier to deal with, if you get what I'm saying. I just grabbed an armory-stock sword and some lien during the attack, and ran. Made it to Vale, decided I could use a bit of extra peace and quiet, grabbed a ticket to a ferry, and here we are."
Qrow
"Sword and some lien? What happened to the sword?"
"Now, if you wanted to know that, we'd have to go someplace without prying eyes. And unless you want to get us a room - no thank you, by the way, I have literally no interest in a significant other, not to mention that even if I did, I fancy myself straight as a high-powered sniper's 50 yard bullet trajectory - or you want to go out into the dangerous woods - where I'd probably die, not easily mind you, but still, I dislike taking unnecessary risks - then I'd say you're shot on finding somewhere to talk privately. That's just my opinion, though, and I've only been here for a day or two. I'd advise you not to take my word on it, given that you likely know this happy little village far better than I do."
Qrow
"Sheesh… wordy, aren't you? But to answer your unspoken question, I do know a couple of private safe spots that we can talk in."
"Take that out of context and see what happens."
Qrow
"Okay, now that's just not right."
"Yes, yes, I'm a horrible person, told myself so a million times before."
Qrow
"Wow. Self-esteem issues, much?"
"Oh, shut up, you. Let's just get moving."
Qrow
"Whatever you say. Here, come with me."
Quest Alert!
A Little Bird Told Me
Via a strange twist of fate, you've introduced yourself to Drunkle Qrow and garnered his interest. Tell him about yourself while making sure that you don't say anything that will invite him to kill you!
Objectives:
-Inform Qrow about your abilities
-Survive the undercover interrogation
Rewards:
+100 EXP
+100 Lien
+5 Bonus CHR
+5 Bonus LUK
+"Silver-Tongued" Skill
+Raise Qrow's Support level to E
Accept Deny
I don't really have a choice, do I, game? Refusing him now probably wouldn't put him in a good mood, not to mention it would be flat-out weird considering what I've said so far. Besides, I get bonus stats from it, and given what I know of Qrow, it'd take a lot to push him over the edge. I'd say there's a pretty low chance of me walking away from here carrying my severed head under my shoulder. So what the hell? 'Accept.'
"Lead the way, then."
I wonder where he's taking me.
A/N: Are you confused by the writing style yet? Don't worry, you won't have to wait too long for that to change. My thought process back when I first decided to write this dumpster fire was "if I tell it entirely via the main character's thoughts, it'll stand out."
Yeah, the idea sounds good on paper, but in practice, it's much more suited for a one-shot than a multichapter. Descriptions get wonky, and integrating certain details makes the thoughts less and less organic. Fun stuff, isn't it?
By the way, if you've heard of Sonic Boom, you should know why all instances of BOUNCE PAD are typed the way they are.
Anyway, bye.
[TRANSMISSION ENDED]