Oh, he just took me to the cabin.
Secret Area Discovered!
Raven's Favorite Place
+200 EXP
Level Up!
VIT: 20 + 5
STR: 20 + 5
INT: 18 + 4
DEX: 20 + 5
AGI: 20 + 5
RES: 11 + 3
LUK: 9 + 2
CHR: 14 + 2
+5 Stat points
Learned "Twirl Slash"
Level Up at: 350 EXP
Lemme check that for a sec. Skills.
Twirl Slash [Active] - Level 1/10
Turn 360 degrees and strike an opponent using the momentum gained. Has a base power of STR x 1.4. Inflicts the "Break" status effect.
There's "Turn Strike," then. The Talent Art that everyone forgets the existence of because of the Monado.
Qrow
"Well, here we are. Doesn't look like much, I know, but this is one of the most private spots on the island. You could probably scream as loud as you could, and nobody'd hear you. Or at least nobody besides me and the nearby Grimm."
Y'know, without it being like night, this spot doesn't look as haunted. Not to mention the lack of Beowolves does wonders for its 'not-terrifying' feel.
Well, that's strange… normally, from an abandoned cabin, you would expect there to be at least 2 to 3 layers of dust coating everything. This one, however, looks well-kept. Sure, there's the odd spot of filth here and there, but it otherwise appears to be lived in. Someone's been pulling clean-up duty here. Question is - who? Is it Tai? Is it Qrow? Is it Raven herself? The world may never know…
Actually, wait. Why didn't I just create an empty I.D.? I can probably still do that now, actually. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll just grab him and - not give a pained scream because I'm not Piccolo, and won't get blasted before I finish that sentence.
"Well, this seems like a nice little spot. But I will say I'm not entirely convinced, so… mind if I reassure myself?"
Qrow
"What exactly do you mean by 'reassuring' yourself?"
"This."
'ID Create: Empty.'
Whoa.
That's… um… wow.
That's actually kind of really fucking terrifying.
Qrow
"Mind telling me what you just did, kid?"
"Oh, nothing much. I just created a pocket dimension where nothing exists except for you, me, and za warudo. No biggie. By the way, we can't leave here without my say-so, so prematurely killing me will just result in you never getting to see your loved ones again, if you have any. If you have misgivings, then you'll have to wait until after the interrogation, and then you can kill me once I take us out of here. Be warned, though - if you do that, a lot of people will die. Now let's get on with it, shall we?"
Ooh, recliner! Taking this!
Qrow
"Ah, man, I wanted that spot."
"First come first served, bro. Besides, you get the couch. What's not to like about the couch?"
Qrow
"Fair enough, I guess."
"So… I guess this is as good of a point to start as any."
Qrow
"What point?"
'Inventory.'
Qrow
"...oh. The sword you took."
"Yep. What I'm about to do may cause intense amounts of jealousy and envy."
'Invite Qrow to the party.'
Qrow
"...well. That certainly explains your actions a lot better. You went to the tavern because you wanted to find side-quests to grind on."
"Just accept the invite, and we'll go from there. If you want, I'll vote-kick you off once we're done."
Qrow
"Nah. Why would anyone pass up a chance like this? I mean, come on, this is like a golden opportunity to become one of the most broken people in the world."
Qrow Branwen has joined the party.
"Yeah, about that… at this point, it'd probably take forever for you to level up even once. There's a bit of a double whammy, too - since you only joined my party just now, you've been living without stat points in favor of increased growth rates. So… sorry, but no instant overpoweredness for you."
Qrow
"Oh, of course it wouldn't be that easy. Why would it?"
"Because whoever the system admin is, they love to screw with me. Maybe this is to make me feel better by letting me know that they love to screw with everyone else."
Observe.
Qrow Branwen
Title: Dusty Old Crow
Class: Vanguard
Level: 115
EXP: 673,000
Level Up at: 2,800,000
HP: 523
AP: 15,280
VIT: 764
STR: 765
INT: 523
DEX: 764
AGI: 765
RES: 510
LUK: 114
CHR: 476
Status: Healthy
The brother of Raven Branwen, and one of the more prominent members of Ozpin's inner circle. Prefers information gathering and subterfuge, but will not hesitate to resort to force to solve problems if they require it. Fiercely guards his friends and family, but not to the point of being overprotective. Can often be found drinking at a bar both on and off the job. The fun-loving uncle of Yang and Ruby. Teaches part-time at Signal Academy.
Notable Skills
Semblance (Bad Luck Charm) [Active] [On/Off] [Stage MAX]
Passively lowers the LUK stat of anybody within a 50-foot radius of the user. Causes random misfortunes for anybody within the radius, such as missing attacks, failing to activate skills, or receiving critical hits instead of normal attacks. Effect can be deactivated via soft commands, or checking the skills menu and tapping the desired effect.
Formshift (Crow) [Active] [Stage 1]
Allows the user to change their body into that of a crow. The full potential of this ability is yet to be unleashed.
(Requires a certain event to advance stage.)
Remnant Physiology [Passive] - Level MAX
Swaps HP and AP values. Multiplies AP by 2 and reduces HP by 90%.
Sword Mastery [Passive] - Level 80/120
Scythe Mastery [Passive] - Level MAX (120)
Allows the user to wield scythes of all shapes and sizes with increased efficiency. Each level increases damage the user deals with scythes by 1%. Scythe Skills will be unlocked upon reaching certain levels of this skill. Note that some weapons may require a certain level or higher of this skill to use properly.
Shotgun Mastery [Passive] - Level 100/120
Allows the user to wield shotguns of all shapes and sizes with increased efficiency. Each level increases accuracy for slug-type rounds, spread for buckshot-type rounds, and reload speed by 1%. Shotgun Skills will be unlocked upon reaching certain levels of this skill. Note that some weapons may require a certain level or higher of this skill to use properly.
'Remnant Physiology'... that explains quite a bit. What a clever girl you are, Gaia.
'Formshift'… oh, hell, is he gonna become Naesala 2.0 if he fully upgrades that?! I'd hope so. He sure as hell wasn't the most powerful Laguz Royal, but he could certainly come through when it counted.
Still not as amazing as Tibarn or Caineghis, though.
"Anyway, yeah. And you know what the weird thing is? This isn't even my actual semblance."
Qrow
"Well, now that's just plain bullshit."
"I know, right? As if there was any need to make me even more game-breaking than I already am. And this isn't even counting the various other things I have at my disposal. Like you can probably guess because of the sword, I have my own inventory, and I can learn and upgrade skills. Oh, and I simply must say that your stats, at least from my standpoint, are bad-ass. Seriously, the lowest thing you have is your luck, and that's still over 100. Speaking of luck, by the way, think 'skills' and check out your semblance. What you find may surprise you."
Qrow
"..."
No mistaking that smile. Damn, he looks like he's won the lottery.
Qrow
"You know, if I wasn't the man I was, I'd kiss you."
"For the love of whatever gods are out there, please don't. I'd like to avoid putting soap in my mouth as best as possible."
Qrow
"I was kidding."
"Yes, I know, and I don't care. What I can do, however, is a bro-hug."
Qrow
"No thanks. That'd just look weird."
"Nobody else is around to judge."
Qrow
"Still no."
"Aww."
Ruin my fun, why don't ya. I guess now would be a good time to tell him this.
"Hey, Qrow. There's something I plan to do sometime in the next two years."
Qrow
"Oh, yeah? What?"
"Under the cover of darkness, I'm going to sneak into your sisters' bandit camp, slaughter everyone except her, and burn it to the ground. After that, I'm going to drag her back to this island, kicking and screaming if I have to."
Qrow
"...What."
"That reminds me: you're eventually gonna have to tell ol' Tai to expect a trussed-up Raven on his doorstep in the near future. Don't worry - I'll try my best to not do any lasting damage to her, well, except her pride, but that's besides the point. She won't be missing any limbs or anything like that. Her morals may be skewed and her outlook on the world isn't to my liking, but she's not a bad person at heart - she's just misguided. Of course, that probably won't stop Yang from decking her in the schnoz, but I digress."
Qrow
"..."
Um…
"Uh, Remnant to Qrow? Did I accidentally break you?"
Qrow
"No, you didn't. But now I have a hell of a lot more questions."
"Yeah, I figured. And while I'd love to tell you the truth, the fact remains that the truth itself is so far off the deep end that you'd think I was lying."
Qrow
"Oh, yeah? I'll have you know that I've seen some pretty crazy shit in my time. Whatever the truth is probably pales in comparison to one of my experiences."
"Try this on for size, then. I'm actually a person from an entirely different world who was pulled into this one by a troll of a deity, and I woke up only earlier today. I haven't even spent a full day here."
Qrow
"Say I believe you for a second - that doesn't explain the cover story you gave me. How exactly would you know about the Grimm or the CCTS if you'd only been here for a few hours?"
"Well, here's where it gets really insane: this world is actually the setting of an animated series back where I come from. Two of the main characters happen to be your nieces and you yourself are a supporting character - although if I remember correctly, you don't make an in-person appearance until the third season. Pretty much everyone who watches it thinks you're hilarious, by the way. Oh, quick note: said series will also kick off two years from now. You might want to double Ruby's regimen and convince Tai to do the same to Yang. Tell them it's for their own good if they complain."
Qrow
"Oh, please - if anything, that's giving them what they want. I swear, some days I don't know whether or not they'll suffer some lethal disease due to exhaustion or just have a straight-up heart attack from what they put themselves through."
"You know, I expected your reaction to be a bit more excitable."
Qrow
"Kid, at this point I've learned not to question it and just roll with the punches. If you know anything about me, you should know that shit like this might as well be my bread and butter."
"Amen to that. Speaking of knowing things about you, mind lending me your flask? I wanna see if I can nab an early poison resist skill. And before you say anything about underaged drinking, I have a skill that completely negates all mental damage because it makes me treat the world as if I'm behind a screen, so it's no skin off my back."
Qrow
"Okay - seriously? Levels and stats, I can understand. Quests, I can tolerate. But this? Buddy, do you even realize the sheer scale of bullshittery you can get away with by using this power? Oh, and here."
"Thanks. And no, I don't think I do, but what are friends for, right? One sec."
Holy shit, it's like Dr. Pepper on steroids! I think my throat's on fire!
"Dear -huck- god, man! What the hell is in this thing?"
Qrow
"I'd… rather not say."
"I suddenly regret doing this."
Permanent debuff "Brain Damage" negated by Gamer's Mind
Status effect "Influenced" inflicted
Time until natural cure: 00:59:54
Influenced
Go home, dude, you're drunk. Lowers INT, AGI, DEX, and CHR, but boosts STR (however, the total HP/AP of the victim will not be lowered). Note that a high VIT stat combined with a high Poison Resistance level can negate and even reverse the debuffs.
Skill "Poison Resist" created!
Thought impairments removed by Gamer's Mind.
Qrow
"See, that's what happens when a normal minor drinks stuff like this."
"Well then, I guess I should count my blessings and remind myself that I'm not a fucking normie. Reeeeeee."
Qrow
"That fact that you're still conscious, never mind that you're able to talk without slurring shouldn't totally stupefy me because of your broken skill, but it does. You can't just do that kind of shit and walk away unscathed."
"Dude, have you checked my status? I got hit with a debuff that lowers four of my stats and slightly buffs one in return."
[Poison Resist]'s level has increased by 1.
Qrow
"So then why aren't you acting dumber 'cause of the intelligence debuff?"
"You don't seem to understand - Gamer's Mind makes everything that tries to attack my brain it's bitch. Well, everything that impairs my mental capacity, and not something like, say, a bullet or a sword, or if we really wanted to get insane, a sniper-scythe. Which reminds me, has Ruby started designing and/or constructing Crescent Rose yet? I wanna see that bad boy in action with my own eyes."
Qrow
"Let me think… well, the last time I saw her, I think she mentioned that she was brainstorming ideas on what to stuff inside the monster. And if you're wondering, the last time I saw her was pretty recently."
"Ah, okay. Once we get properly introduced, I'll see if me and her can get together and bounce ideas. Once I get my blueprinting and weapon designing skills up to a sufficient level, of course."
Qrow
"Something tells me I should be expecting equipment that's the stuff of legends in the not-so-distant future."
"I wouldn't be surprised. I do consider myself a bit of a grinder. Which can be a good thing and a bad thing."
[Poison Resist]'s level has increased by 1.
Qrow
"Why a bad thing?"
"Being over-prepared and forming contingency plans usually takes up quite a bit of time, which can be less than favorable if you have a deadline."
Qrow
"Right. Any other mind-shattering details?"
"Hang on, let me try something."
…
[All] Zeiss: Testing, one, two, three, testing.
Qrow
"Welp, there goes any reason of you actually needing a scroll."
"To be fair, the chat doesn't exactly pop up for people outside the party… but wait."
Gaia?
Yes?
Would it be possible to use the chat function to send messages to scrolls of people who are not in the party under a username?
...well, shit. Turns out you actually can do that. Works the same way, too. Although it goes without saying that this will not work on people without scrolls.
That's bullshit.
Yes it is. Now suck it up and admit that you're going to be a Gary Stu.
That's kinda the end result of any Gamer story. The only problem is getting strong fast enough to undo all the bad things. Just because I can become a god given enough time doesn't mean I'll be able to speedrun the power-leveling segment fast enough to fix everything.
[Poison Resist]'s level has increased by 1.
You have two full years to train yourself up. Most RPGs tend to take an average of about a week and a half of somewhat dedicated playtime to complete. You also have access to an unlimited supply of EXP, money, and items via the IDs. You see where this is going?
...shit, you're right. Then again, I did set that myself, which means I only have myself to blame for becoming a game-breaker. Which also means that whatever conflict is coming up can be resolved easily by simply applying a small dose of me. ...saying that shouldn't be a bad thing, but it feels like it is. This whole thing feels more and more like a badly-written wish fulfillment story every moment.
Um, hello? Sucked into a new world by force, given a power that can potentially trump literally everything else in existence, and given a shit-ton of prep time to stop everything that goes wrong in said new world? What part of that doesn't scream 'wish fulfillment?'
HOLD IT! Wait just a god damn minute. Are you trying to say that I'm actually the protagonist of a wish-fulfillment story being written right now by someone else? Is that it?
...can I not answer that question? I'd like to keep Gamer's Mind from crashing because some idiot decided to overload it with too much Mind Screw, thank you very much.
That all but confirms it. But given your answer, I think it might be best for me to shut up now.
Yes. Yes it would. By the way, you're spacing out in Qrow's point of view.
Oh. Right.
"Ah, sorry. Got caught up in my head for a second there. Anyway, I think that might be it. Anything you want to say? Cause I don't know about you, but the lack of ambient noise is starting to grate on my nerves, y'know?"
Qrow
"I think I'm good. My head can only take exploding a certain number of times before it stops growing back in one day."
"Great."
'ID Escape.'
Much better.
Quest Complete!
A Little Bird Told Me
Rewards Received:
100 EXP
100 Lien
5 LUK
5 CHR
Learned "Silver-Tongued!"
Qrow's Support Level has increased to Rank E.
Checking that…
Silver-Tongued [Passive] - Level MAX
You are well-versed in the art of negotiations, and are adept at turning agreements to your benefit.
Grants +10 CHR when negotiating.
So it's not really a skill, but more like a perk. I can accept that.
"Anyway, I'd ask you to sho me de wey to your nieces' pad, but that'd be ultimately unneeded due to the fact that it was marked on my minimap after I buzzed it when I was going fast earlier."
Qrow
"Going fast?"
"Super Sonic style. The one true way to go fast."
Qrow
"...I don't need to know, so I won't ask."
"Good call."
Qrow
"Although, I think I'll escort you there. I don't have any missions lined up at the moment, so I'm pretty much stuck doing nothing until ol' Ozpin calls me in again. At least you'll make it less boring."
"Nice to know that I'm already so appreciated. Yep. Really feeling the love here."
Qrow
"Stuff it and get moving."
"Yessir."
[Poison Resist]'s level has increased by 1.
…
Here we are again.
Landmark Discovered
Xiao-Log Cabin
+50 EXP
Aaaaaaand there's the obligatory 'GOD DAMN IT, BARB!'
Well, ain't this a right nice spot? A lil' log cabin smack in the middle of a clearing. Real homey vibe.
Donk-donk-dadonk-donk, donk donk!
Good knock.
WHUMP!
Oh.
No mistaking that blur of red. Apparently, riding hood likes to greet her uncle with a glomp hug right out the gate.
Ruby Rose
Little Red Reaping Hood
Celerian
Level 10
Ruby
"Uncle Qroooow! You're back! Ohhh, I missed you so much!"
Qrow
"Ruby, I've only been gone a day."
Ruby
"A day too long!"
For some reason, I find this funny. Aaaand now I'm doing a poor job of covering up my snickers. Aaaand now they've noticed me.
Smooth, bro. Real smooth.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I think this is funny, but it just is! I mean, she just, like, glomped you the second she found out who you were, and now she's just latched onto your torso, and it's just-... it's f*BEEP*ing hilarious!"
This shit is gold.
?
"Did somebody say 'Uncle Qrow?'"
Yang Xiao-Long
Little Sun Dragon
Journeyman
Level 14
Ohai, Yang.
Yang
"Oh hey, dude! I thought you wouldn't be back for a while! What's the occasion?"
Qrow
"The jerk over there, laughing at us."
"I have no idea why I'm laughing, but I am!"
Okay, okay, she dislodged herself. You don't need to laugh anymore. Calm down, man.
"Whoo… heh, sorry. Couldn't help myself."
Ruby
"Who's this, Uncle Qrow?"
"A-he-he-he-hem. Hello there! My name is Zeiss Serven! 'Tis a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"
Yang
"Yeah, nice to meet you too. I'm Yang. Yang Xiao-Long. But you can just call me Yang."
Hoo boy, that's a strong grip!
Ruby
"Hi! My name's Ruby! Ruby Rose! It's really nice to meet you!"
Whoa-ho! Slow down, there! My shoulder socket can only take so much!
Qrow
"So where's Tai?"
Yang
"Oh, you know, Zwei and errands. We have the house to ourselves until he comes back. By my reckoning, he won't be home for another hour or so. Not counting Zwei, of course. You know how the little pupper is."
Qrow
"Okay… I think that may make what's about to happen easier for everybody."
Ruby
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"We'll tell you once we're all inside. Something tells me you'll want to sit down for what's coming next."
Yang
"Wow, like that tooootally didn't sound suspicious. Nope. Not at all."
"Of course it didn't."
Hmmm… which room to pick…
"I'm having a little trouble here. Do you think we should do this in the living room, or the dining room?"
Yang
"Living room, no contest. Having cushioned seats is always better."
Ruby
"Seconded!"
"Living room it is, then."
I think I'll nab the couch this time. Or at least part of it. It is pretty big.
"But actually, before we begin, I'd like to have a bit of an icebreaker session with you two. That being said… why don't you tell me a little about yourselves?"
Ruby
"Well… I'm thirteen years old, and I'll be going to Signal Academy in a few weeks to learn how to be a huntress! See, Yang's going to start her third year there along with me, 'cause she's fifteen, so that'll be nice!"
"An adorable little girl like you, training to slay the creatures of darkness… heh, that'll be the day. You got a weapon?"
Ruby
"Not yet, no, but I'm in the design phase right now. I plan to make the coolest, most awesomest weapon there is!"
"Heh, nice. I'll be looking forward to that. How 'bout you, Yang?"
Yang
"Well, like sis already said, I'm fifteen, so I'll be starting my third year at Signal pretty soon."
"You too, eh? Must run in the family then, if your uncle is anything to go by."
Yang
"Hah, yeah, pretty much!"
"So what are you packing? If my eyes don't fail me, I think I see a few shotgun shells scattered around your outfit, so I'm guessing something close-range?"
Yang
"Good guess. Yep, Ember Celica here was specially designed to smack around both Grimm and jerks who don't know when to quit."
"Yeesh. I'd hate to be on the business end of a hook from one of those gauntlets. Although, given your looks, I'd say that you've had more experience with group two than group one."
Yang
"Uggggh, don't remind me. Seriously, they never learn. I think I once nearly knocked out the same guy three times in one day. Freakin' idiot just wouldn't take a hint."
"Did he ever get the serial number of the Bullhead that hit him?"
Yang
"Now that you mention it, I don't think he did. But, I'm sure it's for the best - if he did, there's no telling whether or not he'd still be chasing after me."
"You catch his name?"
Ruby
"I think I may have seen him. He was down in the dumps, so I psyched myself up, and walked over to ask him what was wrong. If I remember right, he spilled the beans and told me that his name was Brock, and what happened."
Well, that explains a lot. I wonder if he'll eventually meet someone with a 24/7 Poison Jab at the ready in case he gets a little too excited. Heh, Diamond & Pearl references, lol.
Yang
"Wow, would you look at that! My little sister's breaking out of her shell!"
Heh. Wish I could noogie my old lil' bro like that with impunity.
Ruby
"Yaaaaaaang! Stoooooop! Noooooo!"
Hold it. This is a golden opportunity.
"Wait. Tell me - did this happen during spring?"
Ruby
"Uh… yeah, actually. Why?"
"Well, then… I guess you could say you were blooming from your rosebud, then."
Yang
"..."
Ruby
"..."
Qrow
"..."
Yang
"-snerk-"
Ruby
"..."
Yang
"Pff-ff-fff!"
Qrow
"..."
Yang
"PfffAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man, that was GOLD! Up high!"
SLAP!
BOOYAH! Wait, no - WOOMY! No, that's not right - NGYES! There we go!
Ruby
"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They're multiplying! Why?! Why must I be tortured like thiii-hi-hiiiis? I already have enough on my plate dealing with one terrible joker, but two of them?! I'll never be able to keep uuuup~!"
"Aww, c'mon, Ruby! You don't even know Xiao-Long I'll be staying!"
Yang
"HOLY SMOKES, YES! YEEEES! VICTORY! MWAAAA HA HA HA HAAAAA!"
Ruby
"AAAAAAAGH, THE PAAAAIN! UNCLE QROW, HELP ME! I'M DYING OVER HERE!"
Yang
"Of laughter, you mean!"
Qrow
"Sorry, kiddo, but you're on your own. I don't think I want to get involved here."
"Oh-ho-ho, whassamatta, Qrow? Afraid we'll Whiskey away to Pun City?"
Qrow
"I am so not drunk enough for this. (The hell's my flask…?)"
"Looking for this?"
Qrow
"Now when did-oh, right. Never mind, just give it here."
Yang
"Not until you admit that these are the most hilarious puns you've ever heard!"
Ohh, he's struggling. Is he gonna do it?
Qrow
"...fine, I guess they were pretty good."
He did it.
"Hey, hear that? That's the sound of the last of Qrow's dignity and male pride evaporating."
Qrow
"Whoa, there. Your ears must be hearing things, because I had to actually have those in the first place in order to lose them. Can I have my flask back now?"
"Sure, whatever. Here."
Qrow
"Thank you."
Ruby
"AAAAH! NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUUUSE!"
Qrow
"Whoa!"
SLAM!
Holy shit, she totally just sacked him!
SMASH!
Did that tiny flask just fly right out the window?!
"Okay, so is anyone going to comment on how improbable that was? That must've been like a one-in-a-thousand chance or something."
Yang
"Never tell her the odds, I guess."
If I didn't know better, I'd swear the Heart of Gold was parked outside Remnant's orbit. But there's no way that's possible, right? I only read the first book, but I get the distinct impression that her crew's voyage never contained any time-skips or anything that would let them lounge around on a backwater rock like this...
High above the surface of the planet, enough that breathable air could not exist, but not so far as to escape the world's gravitational pull...
Arthur Dent sneezed.
Ford Prefect looked up from editing his essential guidebook for hitchhikers all across the galaxy to inquire on his friend's well-being. "Are you alright, Arthur?"
Arthur shook his head. "Yes, I'm fine. I don't feel like I'm coming down with anything. That sneeze came out of nowhere."
Ford put his hand up to his chin in thought. "That must mean someone is talking about you, then. It's the only explanation for a sneeze to be that sudden if you're not sick."
The Brit sighed at the absolute absurdity of such a thing. He knew he was nowhere near infamous enough to warrant being talked about like that. However, after experiencing the recent strange and frankly ludicrous turns his life had taken, Arthur could not find it within himself to argue with the alien.
Instead, he simply responded "if you say so." Soon after, the room sank back into silence.
At the Xiao-Log Cabin...
What the flying fuck is Qrow doing?
Qrow
"She's dead… my flask is dead…"
Holy fucking shit, is he crying?!
Qrow
"I shall be forever haunted by this day… the day my faithful companion left the mortal coil…"
Ruby
"No regrets! She was an evil being who did evil things! She deserved it!"
Yang
"Uhhhh… Uncle Qrow?"
Qrow
"Leave me… let me grieve in peace…"
Yang
"Well, okay… if that's what you want…"
Why is he going outside?
Meh, not important. We got way off task, though. I gotta turn this conversation back. Time to crank my bullshitting skills up to eleven...
"All right, all right, that's enough of that. Anyway, I think it's my turn to give my life story. See, at the moment I'm kind of on my own. I used to live in a slightly technologically-challenged place. CCTS access was limited and a bit of a valued commodity, and scrolls were in short supply, so they were all shunted off to the rich and wealthy. That left common folk like me to scrounge around at stores chock-full of outdated tech for anything entertainment-worthy."
Wow. I'm actually kinda impressing myself. Never underestimate a proficient Bard, I guess.
"Said tech included all manner of old game consoles - stuff from back before you could simply use your scroll as a controller, and when disc games were all the rage. I'm not ashamed to say I was hopelessly hooked. They may have been old, but they were from a time when game companies actually put heart into their projects, and didn't just release yearly cash cows for a quick and easy lien. You know, there's a simple reason why indie companies make it big these days, and that's the fact that they're from an age where these games were hot off the presses, and they scrutinized them as kids to understand why they were having as much fun as they did, and then put those lessons in practice while meshing them with modern tweaks and techniques to create something enjoyable for everyone in this day and age."
...uh, what was I talking about, again? Oh, right. Destruction of innocence.
"Getting off track, though. So, I'm in my hometown, playing my games, life is good, yeah? And you know what happens in the stories whenever a town gets like that, right?"
Telegraphed that wince.
"I won't lie, it was pretty gruesome. Would be bloody awesome - heh, bloody, get it? - if it wasn't so heart-poundingly terrifying. I was lucky enough to get out with my life. Being the smart and logical person I fancy myself as, I was able to make it to the local blacksmith and grab a garden-variety sword to defend myself with, and somehow I got my hands on a fair amount of lien from dead bodies."
Predicted disapproving stare. Check that off the list...
"And don't give me that look - money doesn't exactly have any value to a corpse, does it? I'd have far more need of it than they ever would. So I took what I could carry and booked it outta there as fast as my legs could carry me. No idea how I pulled it off, but I made it to Vale. Eventually, I decided a little vacation was in order, and I had some cash left, so I bought a ferry ticket and made my way here. That's when I met the dusty old crow currently outside doing whatever at the Barrelhaven."
What is he doing, anyway? And is that the faint sound of a shovel I hear…? Wait.
"One sec. The heck's…"
Oh.
Oh-ho-ho my god, is he actually digging a grave and burying his flask?! Holy shit, he's even got a marked tombstone!
Here lies
FLASKIE
"Always willing to wash away your sorrows."
"Has anyone ever told you that your uncle is really, really weird?"
Ruby
"Hey! Uncle Qrow is not weird!"
Yang
"Uh… sis? Remember your tenth birthday?"
Ruby
"What do you-oh. Ohhhhh, right. Yeah, I… can't exactly argue with that, can I…"
Do I want to know?
...no, I don't think I do. The only people who deserve to know about Noodle Incidents are those who experience them firsthand.
Yang
"Thought so. Anyway though, not to sound suspicious or anything, but I find it a little hard to believe you made it all the way to Vale on your own. I get the impression that your home was somewhere out in the sticks, and a place like that's usually pretty far from the capital city. How were you able to survive without a map or a reliable supply of food and water, or any kind of energy for that long?"
Well, here goes nothing…
"That's… actually a story in and of itself, so for the sake of sparing you an unnecessary speech, (god knows you'll get a lot of those in the future, no thanks to Port,) I'll get straight to the point."
Invite Yang and Ruby to the party.
Ruby
"..."
Yang
"...your gaming addiction suddenly makes a lot more sense now."
Huh, little red's not responding. Did she stop working?
"I know, right? I recommend you hit Yes, by the way. Once you hop on the power bus, there's no going back until you've completed the main story. Besides, you two are going to be huntresses, right? Might as well take what assurances you can. At least with this, you'll know when you're outclassed and have to run like h*BEEP*ll. Then again, you two look the type to run headfirst into danger without accounting for the massive chance of your own death if it's to save someone."
Oh, there she goes.
Ruby
"Well, duh! Heroes always pull those kinds of things, and they always end up winning! Why shouldn't we?"
Oh, for...
"...that line of thinking is extremely liable to get you killed. I'll have you know that that only works an extremely small amount of the time, and stories of heroes pulling it off are just flukes. Nobody in this room is any sort of protagonist - every single person in this world has a health bar, and as I'm sure you know, health bars can all be reduced to zero in some way or another. You need to get it through your thick skulls that anyone can die. Your dad, mom, aunts and uncles, your best friend, your teammates, even your dog - they can all be taken from you with a single lucky shot."
Lots of telegraphed winces there. Especially at 'mom' and 'dog'.
Ruby
"Noooo! Not Zwei!"
The fact that I'm giving them this speech while being aware of the fact that they are protagonists is actually kinda hilarious.
"After all, I should know, right? I had to survive the destruction of my hometown, and practically everybody I ever knew at the hands of the Grimm. Something like that isn't exactly easy to cope with, but I've never really been good with emotions outside of those that give me giggles and I wasn't particularly close with anyone, so that made it a little better. You, on the other hand? You're sheltered and innocent. I think it's safe to say that your parents have tried their best to keep you away from the evils of the world for as long as possible."
I don't know whether I should be impressed or disturbed at the way I was able to transition from filthy lies to uncomfortable truths in the span of one dialogue box.
Ruby
"Hey! I am not sheltered! (Hey, sis, do you think I'm sheltered?)"
Yang
"(Oh, yeah - Dad tried real hard to discourage you from becoming a huntress, remember? But he eventually realized that there was no stopping you, so he just accepted it and started trying to properly train you. No self-respecting parent wants their kid to know or experience all the horrors out in the real world.)"
Ruby
"(Horrors? Like what?)"
"You ever see a man get impaled through the chest by a giant drill, and then die by said spinning drill, screaming like a banshee all the while? 'Cause I have. Not gonna lie, though - from my point of view, it was pretty f*BEEP*ing cool. Watching all the blood flying around, the look on the dude's face, the inhumanity of it all… rad sh*BEEP*t, yo."
Wait.
"-Oh. Um… promise I'm, ah, not a sociopath? Sorry. I get so wrapped up in my own thoughts sometimes. Uh… yeah, sorry."
Awkwaaaaard…
"A-ANYWAY! What say we get you accustomed to the system, yeah? I dunno 'bout you, but I think it's high time we lay off the heavy stuff."
Ruby
"Y-Yeah, that… sounds good."
"So do you have any exposure to RPGs of any kind? Turn-based? Real-time? ATB system? MMO? FPS hybrid? C'mon, gimme the low-down."
Ruby
"Well… dad doesn't really approve of MMOs. He says it's cause of all the bad apples you can find online. I have played some older ones though, so I do have a bit of experience with turn-based and ATB. Not sure what FPS hybrid means, but it sounds cool."
Yang
"I've had some second-hand exposure from sis here, but I was always more of a fighting game fan. I played a lot of Road Warrior before I started upping my regimen."
Road Warrior? Sounds like a thinly-veiled alternate version of Street Fighter. Whatever, though. I can work with this.
Actually, wait. Does this mean that Guile's theme still goes with everything here? No, no, stay on task.
"All right. That means you at least know the basics. Good. Now go ahead and accept the party invite."
Ruby
"Right!"
Ruby Rose has joined the party.
Yang Xiao-Long has joined the party.
"Okay, you're in. Think 'Status' to check your character sheets while I attempt to determine your optimal builds. Oh, and if you want, you can test the chat by thinking 'All' and then whatever you want to say."
[All] Ruby: Like this?
[All] Zeiss: Yeah, like that. Now check yourself before you wreck yourself.
'Observe.'
Ruby Rose
Title: Little Red Reaping Hood
Class: Celerian
Level: 10
EXP: 550
Level Up at: 1,300
HP: 39
AP: 920
VIT: 46
STR: 60
INT: 39
DEX: 92
AGI: 94
RES: 27 (+10)
LUK: 55
CHR: 64
Status: Healthy
The daughter of Summer Rose and Taiyang Xiao-Long, half-sister of Yang, and the last of the Silver-Eyed Warriors. A wide-eyed idealist and fairy-tale hero fan who plans to become a Huntress to help people around the world. Obsessed with weaponry in all its forms, and especially excited by Huntsman weapons. Has an unfortunate case of social awkwardness owing to genetic shyness from her mother and overprotectiveness from her other family members, and often finds it difficult to make friends despite her bright personality and general disposition.
Notable Skills
Semblance (Flowering Petals) [Active] [Dormant]
When activated, dramatically increase movement speed in a single direction. Consumes 10 AP/sec. Has a 5-second cooldown. Currently locked and cannot be used.
Scythe Mastery [Passive] - Level 20/100
Sniper Rifle Mastery [Passive] - Level 20/100
Allows the user to wield sniper rifles of all shapes and sizes with increased efficiency. Each level increases accuracy and reload speed with sniper rifles by 1%, and Critical Hit chance by 0.5%. Sniper Rifle Skills will be unlocked upon reaching certain levels of this skill. Note that some weapons may require a certain level or higher of this skill to use properly.
Remnant Physiology [Passive] - Level MAX
Accessories
Padded Jacket
Raises RES by 10.
'Observe.'
Yang Xiao-Long
Title: Little Gold Dragon
Class: Journeyman
Level: 14
EXP: 700
Level Up at: 2,100
HP: 50
AP: 2,620
VIT: 131
STR: 132
INT: 50
DEX: 74
AGI: 62
RES: 37
LUK: 57
CHR: 106
Status: Healthy
The daughter of Taiyang Xiao-Long and the infamous Raven Branwen, half-sister and surrogate mother of Ruby, and unknowingly the heir to a merciless bandit tribe. A thrill-seeker with a thirst for both danger and the truth, who intends to find her birth mother for answers. Loves all kinds of humor, but gives special attention to puns and clever wordplay. Unfortunately inherited her mother's bullheaded attitude, and typically sees the best solution to a problem to be blasting straight through it guns blazing, which often results in unnecessary trouble and, more often than not, reckless endangerment of life.
Notable Skills
Semblance (Raging Counter) [Active] [Stage 1]
When activated, deal bonus damage equal to ½ of missing AP if using a physical melee attack. Consumes 5 AP/sec.
Unarmed Mastery [Passive] - Level 30/100
Allows the user to wield their own body as a weapon with increased efficiency. Each level increases damage the user deals with unarmed-type attacks by 1%. Unarmed Skills will be unlocked upon reaching certain levels of this skill. Note that some gauntlet-type weapons may require a certain level or higher of this skill to use properly.
Shotgun Mastery [Passive] - Level 30/100
Remnant Physiology [Passive] - Level MAX
Yup. About what I expected. The Accessories thing is a little surprising, though. Why didn't I get anything like that?
You do. It's just that theirs is a lot less complicated, because they have pre-set outfits.
Oh. That makes sense.
Actually, no it doesn't, but I'm not in the mood to deal with this right now.
Hmm…
"All right, I think I've got my verdict. Ruby, you're pretty fast, and you're pretty freaking strong for someone with your build, but your stats suggest that you can't really take a punch. Tell me, is your combat outfit reinforced with protective materials that help out with that problem?"
Ruby
"Yeah. That was the first thing I decided to put in. Dad would never let me hear the end of it otherwise."
"Okay, good. So, I see here that your Scythe and Sniper Rifle mastery levels are a fair bit higher than your other weapon levels. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're building yourself a combination of the two?"
Ruby
"Yep! I'm still planning out everything else I want to stick inside Crescent Rose, but what I know for certain is that it'll be amazing!"
"Heh. You might have to show me your blueprints sometime."
Ruby
"Wait, really?! You… want to help me make my baby a reality?!"
What in… did her eyes turn into stars just now?
"Well, why not? Two heads are better than one, after all. And even if my ideas are terrible, there's always grunt work to be done at the forge. What are friends for, anyway?"
Fitting that I say "grunt work," since that's all I was ever good at back when I was still a Boy Scout. Well, once a Star, always a Star, I guess.
Ruby
"AAAAAAAH THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH! BEST DAY EVER!"
"Whoa-ho! The sentiment is appreciated, but lay off the pressure! If my eyes were closed, I'd swear your grip was a trash compactor!"
Ruby
"Oh! Uh… ah… eh-heh… sorry. Went a little overboard there, didn't I…"
"Getting back to it, good. Now, all we have to do is train your unarmed level so that you won't be at a disadvantage when you're disarmed."
Ruby
"Aw, whaaaat? Come on! Once my weapon's finished, I'm never letting go of it!"
"Notice that I said 'when,' and not 'if.' Things aren't always going to go your way. At some point in your life, your weapon will inevitably find its way out of your hands, and when - not if, but when - that happens, you need to make sure that you can at least put up a decent fight before you're either brought down or you find your weapon again. Being able to throw a punch or kick worth a d*BEEP*n is the first step towards not dying when you're left with nothing but your fists and your wits. And besides, even if by some miracle you're never disarmed throughout your entire career, remember that a wise man once said, 'better to have and not need, than to need and not have.'"
Ruby
"Mmmmmf..."
"Oh, don't give me that. And now that you're in the party, whatever rate you were improving at before will be nothing next to the ridiculous growth spurt you're about to have."
Ruby
"Wait, growth spurt? Are you saying that I'll get taller?!"
Huh, good question.
"Well… I wouldn't bet on it, but keeping fit usually helps your body grow, right? Who's to say you won't gain a couple of inches from socking a bag of leather a couple hundred times every day?"
Ruby
"Hah HA! You hear that, sis?! I'll be towering over you in no time!"
Yang
"I wouldn't go that far, Rubes. I've got room to grow yet."
"All right, all right, break it up, you two. Anyway, on with the appraisal."
No accessories on Miss Heartbreaker here. Kinda disappointing, but I did catch her in casual wear, so ehh.
"So, Yang. From what your stats tell me, you're much more focused on offense than on defense. If you had better Resistance, I'd pin you as a tank without hesitation. But you don't, which actually makes quite a bit of sense, if your semblance's description is true. If I'm reading into this correctly, what you're supposed to do is draw your enemies' attention and their fire to you and then use that against them. So I guess you're a… pseudo-tank or something? Someone who acts like a tank, but isn't? I dunno. Anyway, that's pretty useful in short and sweet brawls, but not exactly favorable for marathon encounters. Say you're trying to defend a choke point from waves of enemies. Sure, you can blast through them like paper once your HP hits the red zone, but you're also much more likely to die once that happens. And if you do that early, well… I'd say my prayers. Point being - get smart, know when to efficiently utilize your strengths and cover your weaknesses, and generally just be more careful. You never know when you might need to avoid a surprise attack, after all."
Would've been better if I shouted 'DODGE!' but then I'd have to try and hit her. And if I did that, I would have gone full retard. You never go full retard.
Yang
"Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. So when do we start?"
"I'd say 'right now,' but I'd rather wait for your dad to come home and inform me of your schedules. I want to maximize efficiency for this."
Ruby
"That makes sense."
"Speaking of which, didn't you say that he'd be back in about an hour?"
Yang
"That's right."
Alright, lemme do a quick time-check here…
"Huh, it's only been five minutes since I got here. Feels like we've been talking for twice that."
Relativity, yo. Insert 'Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, SCIENCE!' here.
"So I guess that means we've got some time to kill. Hmm…"
...I just realized I haven't used my gun yet. This is a golden opportunity!
"Got it. Hey, do you guys have a shooting range somewhere near here? Or at least something I can use for target practice? Maybe like… I dunno, empty beer bottles or rotten apples or soda cans or whatever?"
Yang
"Signal's got a holo-target range, but it's a little far and they probably wouldn't let you use it since you're not a registered student. I do think we have some empty odds and ends around here that we missed during spring cleaning, though. You could try using those. Oh, fair warning, you might have to scrounge around a bit."
"Okay, perfect. Thanks."
Ruby
"Don't mention it! We all have to grind every once in a while!"
See? Y'see that? This girl right here gets it! Oh yeah!
Later...
All right, time to check the haul.
Let's see here… Five empty beer bottles, some old wooden planks, six empty water bottles, four dirtied-beyond-cleaning glass jars, and five dusty, cracked ceramic plates. Not too bad. Now, all I need is something to set them on…
"Hey, do you have anything I could put these on? Like a table or something?"
Yang
"Let me think… well, you're out of luck if a table was what you wanted, but I do know that we have a stepladder somewhere."
"That'll do."
Later again...
"Okay, I'm heading out. I'll ping you guys via the chat if anything out of the ordinary happens."
Ruby
"Okay. Have fun!"
Oh my fucking god, Qrow's still digging.
Later once more...
Here we go! Now, if we just put these bottles on the rungs…
Perfect! That is grade A target practice material right there!
Okay, so I think… ten paces is an acceptable distance. Benefits of having long legs, I guess.
And… non-dominant hand goes here, if I remember correctly…
Ready… aim… fire!
POFF!
PASHK!
Skill 'Pistol Mastery' created!
Hm. Off-center. Little to the left and higher than the invisible bullseye. If I adjust my aim accordingly...
Later (seriously, we're doing this again?)…
Holy shit, that was terrifying. I knew Tai could be scary, but that was… wow. No words.
Wait, is that-
"AH-HAH HAAA HAH HAH HAH HAH!"
Qrow's still digging!
"Holy scheisse, man! I knew you were alcoholic, but I'd never in a million years think you'd take a simple gag this far!"
...oh, crap. I may have just fucked up.
Qrow
"What did you just say, you little shit?"
Wump-woomp-wup-wumm bowwwwrrrr!
OFFICIAL ZEISS FAIL COUNTER: 1
Oh, look, I have my own fail counter. With The Price Is Right's fail horn. Joy.
PROTAGONIST EXIT, STAGE LEFT! GO, GO, GO!
Qrow
"I'LL TEACH YOU TO DISRESPECT FLASKIE'S MEMORY!"
Track Cue: Yakety Sax (Boots Randolph)
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFU-
One Benny Hill chase scene later…
Okay… okay… I think he's gone.
I wonder how many bricks I shat out from that. Tai was good, but Qrow… god damn, the man is another level of scary entirely.
Honestly, I'm a little pissed at myself for forgetting I had the IDs. All I had to do was create an empty one to escape. Small wonder I didn't think of it sooner.
In any case… hm. I don't need to eat or sleep anymore, and I can't get fatigued. My power is pretty much every Goku's dream in the sense that I can keep training infinitely and get exponentially stronger because of it. No sleep or fatigue means I can keep going all day and all night without stopping.
To win at life, I need to exploit this for all it has to offer. Starting now.
Sword? There we go.
...something's missing. What could it be?
Track Cue: Minor Circuit (Punch-Out! Wii)
Ah, right! A kick-ass training montage theme! Thanks, Gaia!
Don't mention it!
Here we go!
A/N: If you're wondering why the dialogue looks like it was ripped from a script, that's intentional. Google Drive doesn't force you to double-space whenever you hit Enter/Return, so when I originally typed them, I intended for them to seem like dialogue boxes. If you'll recall, Zeiss himself lampshades the dialogue boxes in an offhand comment during the faux-backstory part of the scene with Yang and Ruby.
(Edit: If this doesn't tickle your fancy, well... sorry, but this doesn't disappear until around chapter 12. But who knows - if you can slog your way through this, you may be rewarded. Or you may not. It's subjective, really.)
Speaking of, the way I write characters might be seen as odd, but here we go.
Whenever I'm thinking up dialogue, I always try my best to adhere to each character's established speech patterns. (As much as I would like to hear Lindsay Jones swearing up a storm in Ruby's voice, I know that's unacceptable in context.) My general rule of thumb is "if I can imagine this character's voice actor saying this line without it feeling out-of-place, then it's probably fine." This can still fall flat, such as if I'm writing for a character that doesn't exist within the show and doesn't have a VA, but that won't be coming into play until later. You won't have to worry about that for at least a few more chapters.
Well, looks like that's everything on the cue card. So long for now!
[TRANSMISSION ENDED]