Despite the fact that he was never trained to be a trial lawyer, Louis did his absolute best to be prepared. He'd read nearly everything he could get his hands on, and even showed up in the courtroom with an armful of more books he hoped to get some last-minute information from if there were ever a few quiet seconds. But no matter how hard he tried to be ready, he honestly didn't think it had done any good.
There really was no question that court orders had been violated, so his only hope was to give a compelling argument that they were doing it for the right reasons. In a lot of ways, it was the complete opposite of what he was good at. If they wanted someone to stand up there and spout off laws and regulations, he would have been fully in his element. But going into this case, he was completely aware that his clients had been shamelessly breaking the law, and would somehow have to convince the judge to forgive them anyway.
He knew that the most important part would probably be the opening statement. If he was going to have any hope of convincing anyone in the room to come around to their side, he would have to get them off to a good start. He had very, very carefully planned everything out to try and make their case as sympathetic as possible, until he had a meticulously crafted speech that he'd re-written and re-read countless times until he finally felt satisfied.
He then proceeded to get up to the front of the courtroom and immediately forget every last word of it.
He wasn't usually one to suffer from stage fright. But then again, he usually didn't have an entire room staring at him and waiting for him to start giving sound arguments he didn't have.
'Deep breaths.' He silently commanded himself. 'You're going to get through this. Just take deep breaths and don't panic.'
But it was too late. He'd already panicked.
He heard the sound of an impatient throat-clearing, and the reminder that he was standing directly in front of an incredibly stern judge did nothing to ease the horrible swirling of nerves. He tried to swallow, and finding himself unable to do so, sent a desperate glance at the pitcher sitting up on the bench.
"Can I have some of your water?"
He received a very unamused glare and a command to "Get on with it already."
He really couldn't put this off any longer, despite the fact that his current mental state had escalated from 'I forgot my speech' to 'I think I just forgot everything I've ever known in my entire life.' He could do this. It would be fine. He just had to stay calm. And talk. He would also have to talk. Hoo boy.
'Okay, forget deep breaths. Any breaths. Any breaths are good. Please? You're going to pass out!'
"Your honor… ladies and gentlemen of the- of the-the audience…"
Less than ten seconds in, and he'd already lost track of the amount of times his voice had cracked or he'd stumbled over his words. Never mind that, he couldn't stop to think about it. He'd just freak himself out more. Keep going. Just keep going. Everyone was staring, he had to keep going. Please, please, don't let him pass out while everyone was staring.
"I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Okay, so the blackout was a big problem for everybody, okay? I was stuck in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. 'C-cause one time I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you."
Someone laughed. He actually heard someone laugh. He wanted to sink straight into the floor. Honestly, he didn't even care whether it went well or not. He just wanted to sit down again and get away from being the center of attention. He forced himself not to run as he went back to his seat again, and managed to get the feeling of panic to ease a little as he tried to convince himself that no one was looking at him anymore.
Okay, now he cared whether it went well or not. And he was pretty sure that it had gone absolutely horribly. And if he had any doubts about that fact, they were quickly squashed when Dr. Spengler leaned over to comment, "Very good, Louis. Short but pointless."
Was he a terrible lawyer for starting to wish the other side would just win fast already?
Things were not going well. They were definitely, without a doubt, one-hundred-percent not going well. The opposing lawyer had only called up one witness so far, and it was already proving devastating for their case. Now the courtroom didn't just think they caused a blackout, they were being blamed for a river of slime as well. How had things actually gotten worse since they started? Because they'd been pretty bad when they started.
Louis could only hope the recess they'd urgently requested would give them time to come up with a solid plan. Right now, he had absolutely nothing, and he was just about on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
To be honest, he really didn't see how they had a case. The simple fact of the matter was that the guys weren't allowed to be investigating the paranormal, and that was exactly what they'd been doing. He was giving half of his attention to the discussion going on among the guys and half to his notes and papers, especially the blue sheet he'd gotten from the other lawyer. There was no way around it, things weren't looking good. Granted, he didn't understand a lot of it. This really wasn't the sort of thing he'd been trained for. But it seemed pretty clear that they were in violation of their… their re… restrain… mistrain? … something–ment?
Oh geez, he didn't even know what the order was called. By this point, he'd honestly lost track of what he'd actually never learned and what his mind was just too scrambled to remember.
Well, whatever it was, no matter how long he pored over it, it seemed pretty ironclad. He felt more than most that the rules were meant to be followed. And this thing had no loopholes, no wiggle room, nothing. He was pretty sure the only way around it was if the judge himself decided to throw it out, which would be an absolute miracle by this point. He was starting to wonder if it would make things better or worse if he just locked himself in the bathroom.
"'They must have put it there'. They can't possibly think we were lying about an entire river." Dr. Stantz continued trying to argue, apparently not caring that none of the people they needed to convince were around. "There must have been ten thousand gallons of that slime down there."
"It doesn't seem like anyone else saw it. It may be ebbing and flowing from some sort of tidal source." Dr. Spengler attempted to offer an explanation.
Louis nervously looked up from his notes. "Should I say that?"
Dr. Spengler considered for a moment, and then shrugged. "I doubt they'd believe us."
He couldn't help letting out a pained moan as he went back to burying himself in his disorganized piles of papers. His stomach had twisted itself into so many knots that he found himself considering the idea of eating antacids like a bowl of cereal.
"Alright, new plan." He heard Dr. Venkman say. Louis found that it was briefly enough to send a surge of relief through him, at least until it was promptly followed with, "We bribe the judge."
"Guys... you can't..." He started to protest, but Dr. Venkman was already searching through his pockets and continued to talk over him.
"Let's see here... I've got… some sort of receipt for something. No, wait. That's a ticket. Anyone else got anything?"
"I have a library card."
"Still got half a sub from lunch."
"Good, that's... good. This is great." Dr. Venkman responded in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "He'll have to accept this, won't he? Who wouldn't change their mind over half a sandwich and a library card?"
Dr. Spengler was staring intently at the numbers on his card, and his brow furrowed. "We might have to scratch that. This thing expired last weekend."
"Okay then... pilling all our hopes on Ray's leftovers. I feel so much better now, how about you guys?"
Louis was pretty sure he'd passed the edge of that nervous breakdown. Suddenly feeling lightheaded, he gestured weakly towards the take-out bag holding the sandwich. "C-could you pass me that, please?"
Dr. Stantz looked a little confused, but allowed a brief flicker of hope to enter his mind as he passed it over. "What, do you think it would work?"
He couldn't manage to answer. He carefully removed the sandwich, placed it down on the table, and brought the bag to his face as he struggled to force in deep breaths, not that he found himself especially successful at it.
"Hey, uh..." Dr. Stantz awkwardly tried to provide a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll, uh... we'll figure something out." The paper bag merely continued to inflate and deflate with a loud crinkling noise, and he nervously looked to the other guys for help. "Should I try to find a doctor, or...?"
"Eh, leave him. We might get the rest of the case delayed if our attorney has a heart attack."
When the recess was over and he was forced back to the courtroom, Louis couldn't find so much as one friendly face. A few people seemed entertained, at least, but definitely didn't look like they were taking them seriously. And the judge looked just as eager as ever to slam his gavel down with a guilty verdict.
"Gee, the whole city's against us." Louis muttered as he sunk back into his seat at the counsel table. He really didn't know if he could go through much more of this. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
Most of the people nearby ignored him, but Dr. Spengler was concerned enough to hand him a wastebasket.
Even just having to sit in the courtroom again was bad enough. But next thing he knew, the judge was asking if he wanted to call any witnesses, and Dr. Venkman was insisting that he get a chance to "clear a few things up around here".
The back of Louis's mind was immediately running through all of the many ways that was likely to go horribly wrong, but the forefront of his thoughts was busy with more of the staticky noises of panic.
"Mr. Tully, are you calling a witness or aren't you?"
Dr. Venkman looked over at him impatiently and jerked his head in a gesture for him to go up there. Gripping the table so hard his knuckles were turning white, Louis stared back at him with wide eyes and shook his head.
"Louis…" Dr. Venkman whispered, his expression somewhere between irritated and a nervous impatience.
"Please don't make me."
"Mr. Tully!" The judge called out again, but he only did his best to ignore it, and shook his head at Dr. Venkman again. He knew very well that he was making them look terrible, but he didn't know how to begin handling a direct examination, and he was too afraid to even want to try. He'd just make things worse. Everything he was doing was making things worse.
"I can't."
"Louis…"
"I can't."
Both of them very aware that all eyes were on them, Dr. Venkman briefly glanced around the room and let out a strained chuckle.
"Come on, people are waiting. Trust me, I think I know what I'm doing."
"I don't!"
The look he was receiving was quickly losing any sense of humor and turning full on impatient.
"I will handle that, just get me up there."
He finally managed to do as he was told, even if Dr. Venkman first had to grab his collar and give him a push in the right direction. He just wanted to go back to his forms. Forms didn't complain that you were "leading the witness." He'd never even had a reason to consider what that meant before. Apparently, it still applied even when it felt more like the witness was leading you.
By the time the trial was nearing an end, Louis had found himself silently begging countless times for something, anything to happen and interrupt them. Somehow, it hadn't quite occurred to him that anything actually would.
It most definitely hadn't occurred to him that they'd end up running for cover from the spirits of two brothers who seemed gleefully eager to wreak havoc. And what's more, they were trapped there. He hoped it wasn't his fault the back door was locked. He seemed to be a jinx when it came to that sort of thing. And trying to escape through the front would mean running through the room where the ghosts were flinging chairs and tables around willy-nilly. This really wasn't good. Though he supposed it could be worse. He could have had to deliver a closing statement.
He wondered, would now be a bad time to mention that they legally weren't allowed to help? His clients were probably the only ones who would know how to handle this, and of course, he did want everyone to get out safe. But speaking as an attorney, he would have to advise against it. Doing anything regarding ghosts would still be in violation of their court orders, and they were still in the process of getting in trouble from the last time they'd done that. And as hard as he'd tried to come up with anything, he was still certain that the only way out of those orders was if the judge were to…
Actually, maybe now was a very good time to bring up that the law was preventing them from helping.
And then, as if on cue…
"You gotta do something! Help me!"
"Don't talk to me, talk to my attorney."
Yes! The citing rules part! He could do this part!
"And that's me!" For the first time all day, he actually felt confident that he had some clue what he was talking about. "My guys are still under a judicial mistrangement order! That blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!"
From behind him, Dr. Venkman chimed in with, "And you don't want us exposing ourselves."
If that wasn't enough to convince him, it seemed to do the trick when they heard the sound of screaming, and peeked out of the spot they were hiding in to see the other lawyer being picked up and tossed out of the room.
"Alright, alright! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!"
For a moment, Louis was so excited that he almost forgot everything that was going on. They'd actually won the case! He wasn't a complete failure as a lawyer! He was close, but still not a complete failure! That was so much more than he'd hoped for!
As the guys prepared to jump into the thick of things, he found himself a little unsure of what to do again. He felt like he ought to be doing something to help, but they didn't really seem to need him. Getting a chance to see them in action was amazing, though. Scary, for sure, but still amazing. He didn't want to miss a moment as they began waiting for the ghosts to approach. And he continued to watch when a stale, dusty sort of breeze started to blow through the room, and soon began leaving chairs flying around in its wake. And he still stayed when there were big, snarling faces floating around and leering at them. And then they were sort of coming in his direction, and…
Maybe he would be more useful if he was offering moral support from somewhere behind cover.
But after a lot of crashing and banging and zapping noises, the chaos died down again, and he eagerly raced back out again to see what happened. The room was in shambles, and a few things were actually on fire, but right then, all he could think about was getting a better look at the still-smoking trap sitting on the floor. He couldn't believe that they could really fit those giant creatures into that little box, and he was pretty sure it was the coolest thing he had ever seen. This was so much better than when it was a regular trial. This was exciting. He wished his job could always be like this.
He had about a million questions about how everything worked, but as soon as he looked up to start asking them, he saw that everyone else was already wandering off.
"Hey, guys? You left your trap thingy."
They didn't seem to hear him, and they were busy heading towards the sounds of a crowd gathering outside. That was probably a good idea. The people would be anxious to hear what happened. Maybe he should help get things cleaned up, or find a fire extinguisher or something. But maybe it was more important not to leave the ghost equipment lying around. And this thing really was cool. He wondered if it was okay if…
"Could I carry it, maybe? Guys?"
They still didn't answer. He decided to take it as a yes.