After spending an entire day at the Charterhouse School, Luke sat at the dinner table assiduously typing up his written notes.

The headmaster of Josh's school, Mr Hart, had given him permission to interview students on condition he protected their identities and refrained from mentioning the school by name.

Excited by the response he received, and since it was nearing the end of the day anyway, Luke had returned home to write, rather than to the noisy press office and the prying eyes of Jenna.

"Okay if I leave now, Luke?" asked Jasmine, just arriving from the passage after giving both children their bath.

Nicholas and Mia, dressed in their pajamas, ran ahead of her and plopped themselves down ready to watch a DVD.

Luke smiled, "Yeah, no problem. Thanks Jasmine."

"Are you sure? You look pretty busy. I don't mind waiting for Noah."

"Thanks, but he'll be back soon. It's fine! There's no point both of us being here."

Jasmine finished loading up a DVD for the kids, before kissing them both goodbye and fetching her bag from the coat hook by the door.

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

"Bye Jas and thanks."

Once she was gone Luke immediately returned to his work, tuning out the sounds of the animated film playing in the background.

It was astonishing how many of the kids from Josh's school were willing to admit to him that they used, or had at least tried some or other illegal substance. They were almost keen to tell him, as though this elevated their status and made them feel 'cool' in someway.

It just reinforced his feeling that the entertainment industry had a lot to answer for. These kids were experimenting because that was what their idols did. Because they'd been made to believe it was no big deal.

These kids had stable upbringings. They weren't trying to escape from neglect or abuse. Most of these kids would enjoy the heady effects of drug-taking and then stop as soon as they reached adulthood.

But for a few of these kids, those who for some reason found their almost perfect lives shattered, the drugs would become friends and take hold completely.

Kids like Josh.

Despite the subject on Luke's mind, the sound of Noah's truck pulling into the drive made him smile and both Mia and Nicholas immediately jumped up to run and wait by the door.

"Noah!" Nicholas called excitedly gripping the poor man around both legs before he'd even crossed the doorstep.

Noah stumbled slightly and had to hold on to the doorframe to keep from falling over.

"Whoa, hang on you two! Let me get inside the house!" Noah laughed and both children moved back to allow him in the door. "Okay, which one first."

"Me, me, me!" Both kids bounced up and down with a hand in the air.

Noah looked from one to the other as though seriously contemplating which to pick up first. Finally he smiled. "Okay, both then!"

Noah squatted down low and caught a child in each arm, easily lifting both of them at the same time.

"Kiss?" he asked them.

Nicholas grabbed Noah's cheeks and kissed him on the lips and Mia stretched her neck up to get him on the chin.

"How are my two favourite people?"

"Hey!" Luke protested, walking over.

Noah smiled and leaned in toward him, "I'm sorry, three favourite people…"

Luke kissed him on the lips. "We're all good thanks. And it would seem that somebody's in a good mood, hey?"

Noah laughed, "That obvious is it?"

"Noah, you wanna watch Wall-E with us?" a hopeful Mia asked.

"Well, baby, that does sound like fun, but you know what sounds like even more fun?"

"What?" Nicholas asked, sensing a surprise coming on.

"Going out for burgers!"

"YEAH!" Both children shrieked with excitement and began to wriggle to get down and prepare to leave.

"Burgers ha?" Luke asked, hands on hips. "What's the occasion?"

"Oh nothing." Noah replied as he coolly breezed passed Luke, "I just thought we should go out and… you know… celebrate?"

"NO!" Luke exclaimed, eyes widening.

Noah stopped on his course and turned back to Luke nodding, "Yip."

"NOAH!" Luke launched himself at the man, kissing every available part of his face as Noah laughed, "You finished?"

"Yeah! The editing is done! Now it's just sound and music and we have ourselves a movie!"

"That's amazing!" Luke exclaimed, "You're amazing! You said it was gong to take at least another month!"

"I know," Noah said, holding Luke around his waist. "But once I put my head down the movie kind of edited itself. I mean the backers still have to approve what I've done…"

"Oh they will!"

"…but, yeah! My first L.A. movie is almost complete!"

Luke leaned up and they shared a long and lingering kiss.

"I'm so proud of you, bubby!" Luke said into his neck.

"Thanks." Noah smiled.

"NOAH!" Nicholas was already trying to pull on his sneakers.

He left Luke after one more quick kiss, and then set to work getting the children ready to go out.

"What about you?" Noah asked as he tied the laces on Nicholas's sneaker. "How was your day at the school?"

"Incredible, actually!" Luke replied squatting down next to him to help Mia with her shoes. "I got some amazing information from the kids. It was scary how willing they were to talk. And one particular dealer… Dean… well, his name was mentioned more than once! He operates out of the San Fernando Valley, not far from the Daily News HQ actually."

Luke looked up and Noah had stopped what he was doing to frown at him.

Luke raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"I really hope you're not thinking what I think you're thinking!" Noah chided.

"What?" Luke asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Luke!" Noah's tone was suddenly stern. It was a tone both the kids knew well and they instantly took note of him. "I want you to promise right now that you aren't going to go down there to find this Dean person!"

"Noah, I…"

"I mean it!"

Luke stood and turned to unhook Mia's jacket. When he turned back again Noah was standing right behind him.

Luke sighed, "Noah. If I want to do this job right, then there may be times when I need to be in the thick of it."

"In the thick of it?" Noah asked incredulously. "Just what do you mean by that, Luke? Interviewing drug dealers on their turf? Getting yourself shot or knifed?"

Luke shook his head, "Come on, Noah! You're exaggerating!"

"Oh, really? So it's perfectly safe then? You want to write an article about the dangers of drug abuse and addiction and you think the guys selling the stuff and just gonna welcome you with open arms?"

"No of course not, but…"

"Luke…? I'm asking you, please! Please, don't do this. For me!" And then Noah gestured toward Mia and Nicholas; impatiently waiting to leave but standing quiet, sensing the sudden tension between the two men. "And for them…"

Luke looked over at the kids for a minute and then sighed. "Unfair, Mayer…"

"It's Snyder…" Noah's eyes were full of earnestness, "and it's got nothing to do with fair." He stepped forward and palmed Luke's left cheek. "It's about the fact that we love you and we would kinda like you to stick around. Please."

Luke relented, rolling his eyes and nodding. "Fine. I don't like it, but fine."

Noah smiled and gently kissed him, "Thank you."

Luke sighed but he smiled and said, "Okay! Let's go get us some burgers!"

"YES!" Nicholas yelled bolting out of the door the moment Luke opened it.

As Luke jumped in the passenger seat of the car, his mind was already whirling with plans on how he would change Noah's mind.

...

Before knocking on the door of the house he'd called home all his life, Josh checked his reflection in the window, smoothing back his hair and checking the collar of his white buttoned up shirt.

He looked back and realised that Noah hadn't driven off yet. Noah smiled and waved at him from the cab of his truck.

Josh had his own car, but Noah had insisted on dropping him off. Josh knew it was only because Noah wanted to make sure things weren't going to blow up from the start.

Josh took a deep breath, checked his black jeans to make sure they were free of any dust or hair and knocked.

His mother came to the door dressed in a modest floral skirt and pale pink blouse. Her blonde hair was tied up tight in a bun at the back of her head. A few hairs had escaped the confines of her clips and hung; accenting her cheeks.

She smiled when she saw him. It wasn't the smile he remembered growing up. That smile had pride and love in it and her eyes would shine or light up at the sight of him. Now, even with the smile, her eyes appeared dead.

Josh swallowed and chose to ignore that. She had extended the invitation and if that was all he was going to get for now, then he'd take it. And he'd pray the rest would follow.

"Hello, Mom." He shyly smiled.

She seemed unsure of what to do next, but eventually she stepped forward, placing one tentative hand on his shoulder and leaning over to kiss his cheek.

Josh looked behind him and watched as Noah drove off in his truck, satisfied that all was well with Josh and his mother.

"Come in." She said. "Your aunt and uncle haven't arrived yet. They should be here within half an hour. I thought it would be nice if we were all here when they arrived."

"Yeah." Josh agreed and walked past her into the house.

Whenever he visited, which wasn't often, the house would always feel as strange to him as it was familiar and his stomach would tighten slightly at the memory of that fateful night when his father had kicked him out.

Nothing in the layout of the home had changed. The furniture was still in the same position as when he left and smiling faces beamed from family photographs, lovingly displayed in expensive guided frames. The house was as it had always been, but the family that lived there was broken, maybe for good.

"Josh!" His ten year old sister, Lynnie, was obviously excited to see him. She came bounding down the stairs and flew into his arms, making him laugh and lifting his spirits.

"Hey, Sis!"

His other sister, Daisy, was only seven and stood safely back from him.

"Hello, Daisy. Don't I get a hug?"

When she shook her head he had to hide his disappointment. But she was little, and he felt sure he could win her over during the course of the day.

"I miss you guys!" he said.

"We miss you too." Lynnie told him.

"So, Josh," His mother asked, "how about you help me in the kitchen? It will be just like old times."

"I'd love too." Josh replied, and followed her into the large family kitchen where he could already smell the roast chicken and vegetables cooking in the oven. He thought then just how much he had missed his mother's home meals, even though Luke was one hell of a chef himself.

"I was hoping I could get you to man the kitchen while I look after the guests." Marion mentioned. "Would you be able to do that?"

"Sure." Josh replied.

"And, I thought maybe you could make that banana loaf you used to bake. Remember?"

He smiled. "Sure, Mom."

The doorbell sounded and she nervously rang her hands together, before quickly checking her reflection in the oven door and hurrying to the parlor where Lynnie had already let the guests inside.

Josh followed Marion and watched as she greeted her brother Ed and his wife Fay. Behind them were his two cousin's Molly, who was nine and Buddy who was eleven.

"Oh my!" His aunt exclaimed, seeing Josh standing by the kitchen door. "If it ain't our little Josh! My but you're turnin' into one handsome young man! Ain't he Ed? Come over here and give your auntie a kiss, ya little devil."

He did and had his cheeks pinched and a wet kiss placed right on his lips. But he smiled sweetly at her.

"Hello Uncle Ed, I hope you're well." he put his hand out and his uncle shook it.

"Josh". He said, "Good ta see ya boy! Still top of your game at school?"

"I'm working on it." Josh replied.

Josh spent a few moments saying hello to his little cousins before they ran off upstairs to play with his sisters. In the meantime, Marion had made the guests comfortable on the couches.

"Josh is doing the cooking today." His mother said.

"Really?" He aunt replied.

"Well, not really." Josh said, "Mom put everyth…"

"Yes!" Marion quickly interrupted. "Don't be modest Josh! He's an excellent cook! You'll see! And he's even making us his famous banana loaf."

Josh gave his mother a confused stare. He wasn't sure why she was letting him take the credit for the entire meal, but he thought perhaps she was trying to make him feel welcome.

"Shouldn't you go and check on things, Josh?" She asked.

Josh nodded. "Yes, okay."

He found himself in the kitchen for most of the day.

Whenever he would venture into the sitting room to join the adult conversation, Marion would find a reason for him to return to the kitchen. He began to wonder whether she was doing it on purpose, but he couldn't think why.

His aunt and uncle didn't seem to be in the least bit worried that he was gay and hadn't once mentioned his father or their situation. They didn't seem to have any problem with him being there.

Eventually Josh decided to give his mother the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she was just trying to give him a sense of achievement.

He spent ages making sure the table was set just right. He used all the best cutlery and dishes and carefully folded each napkin within a silver ring, setting them neatly across an accompanying side plate.

Finally he had everything ready and decided to let the adults know that dinner could be served.

Because he entered the sitting room from the dining area rather than from the kitchen, they didn't see him coming and continued with whatever conversation they were on.

"So," he heard his uncle say. "How long do you think Miles will be out in India for?"

This statement brought Josh to an instant standstill.

India?

"Oh," his mother replied and he could hear her nervousness even if his aunt and uncle were missing it, "um… I'm not sure. Perhaps a year, maybe less."

She looked up then and was startled to see Josh standing there. A strange expression, almost like panic, swept over her face but she covered it quickly and smiled at him.

His uncle followed his sister's gaze to look back at Josh. "Can't be easy for ya, son? Havin' your Dad gone away so long? Makes you the man of the house, right?"

Josh was beginning to wonder whether he had heard right.

"Yes." He replied, for want of anything else to say.

"Well I'm sure he's awful proud of ya!" his aunt exclaimed. "Such a gorgeous boy! Ya must have the little ladies climbin' through hoops for your attentions!"

Little ladies?"

Josh's eyes locked with his mother's and all he saw was a profound fear there. He started to shake his head at her. He could feel the blood rushing from his head and his heart pounding.

The carpet under his feet felt a mile away. He felt the breath in his own lungs rise and fall and finally constrict. There were no boundaries to his body. It might have been water or lava under his feet for all he could feel.

"Is something the matter, son?" his uncle asked with a look of concern.

Josh glanced from his mother to her brother and his wife and felt suddenly sickened. Without saying a word, he turned and left through the front door.

"Josh! Josh, wait!"

Marion came running down the garden path to grab at his elbow, which he violently yanked from her grasp.

"They don't know! They don't know anything! They don't know about Dad! They… they don't know about me! They think I still live you, don't they?"

Tears clouded his mother's eyes and she shook her head over and over.

"Josh," wrinkles deepening as she pleaded. "They won't understand! Hell, I don't understand!"

Suddenly Josh thought he might fall into a sobbing mass on the ground.

"You're never gonna, are you?" he painfully asked.

She sniffed and hugged her arms into herself.

"No." she quietly admitted. "I don't think I can. I don't think I can ever accept it. And I know they never will…"

Josh struggled to breathe, but he took in as much air as he could. "That's why you invited me, right?"

"Josh…"

"Not because you're accepting me… Not even because you really wanted me here… but… because you didn't want them to ask any questions! Right? I'm like your cover or something!"

"Please…"

Heartbroken, he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Goodbye, Mom."

"No!" she yelled, running around in front of him. "Josh. Please stay. What am I supposed to tell them?"

He stared at her, not recognising the woman who had raised him. "You do what you've been doing so well up till now, Mom… you lie!"

Josh pushed her aside and began a stumbled and shocked walk down the street.

He walked for miles, directionless and in a haze of tears and pain. He cried until his stomach ached with it and it caused him to stop every now and again, bent over with a hacking cough. His hands trembled and he felt chilled right through to his bones.

Josh struggled with the problem that was his life. Was this it then? Was he supposed to live the rest of his days as a family outcast? Dependent on the charity of Luke and Noah?

"Why can't she be there for me? Why can't she try to understand? Why can't they still be like a regular family? Why can't they be normal?" His brain screamed.

He stopped on the sidewalk to recover from another coughing fit, sucking in a deep breath and squeezing his eyes closed. He wheezed as he struggled to take in enough air to calm his racing heart. Josh clenched his fists, as the tremendous pressure, the crumbling hope he'd stored up all week burst inside his soul.

"'ey, Josh? Ees that you?"

He looked up through a river of tears to meet the comforting promise of Benoit's eyes, staring at him from the window of his maroon BMW; a present from his father.

"What 'as 'appened to you?"

Quickly Josh wiped at his face, trying to clean up as best he could so that he didn't appear to be a total wimp in front of his friend.

Benoit sighed at the state of him.

"Get in!" he motioned toward the passenger seat of the car and Josh saw the lock pop up in invitation.

It didn't take Josh long to accept.

...

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