Neither me nor the Atlesian Knight standing a few feet away, minigun-arms drawn and pointing in my direction, made a move for a few seconds.
Well, actually, that was a lie. In reality, I was slowly moving the hand I was holding my pistol with towards my body.
The Knight likely interpreted this as a sign of surrender, if what it said next was anything to go by.
"PLACE THE WEAPON ON THE GROUND AND CLASP YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD."
Unbeknownst to it, I was actually planning on doing the opposite.
When my hand got close enough to my suit…
...I shoved the Bernetti inside and drew my Deagles as fast as I could, dropping to the floor in the process.
What happened next was a cacophony of gunshots as I riddled the AK-130 with .50-caliber pistol rounds, while it filled the wall behind me with much deadlier bullets.
As you might expect, that caught the attention of pretty much everyone else in the building.
YOU'VE BEEN DETECTED!
Uh, yeah, no shit.
Scrambling to my feet, I swiped the Hyperclock Gear into my inventory and booked it for the server room, hoping to reach it before the extra security doors slammed in.
That ended up not working out so well.
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Control (PAYDAY 2)
ALARM TRIPPED: POLICE DETECTED A CRIMINAL
Bonus Objective failed: Complete the heist in stealth
Damn it. Oh, well. I already used up my other ECM on the Gear room door, anyway. Guess it's time to bring out the Broke Dick Piece-of-Shit Drill, much as I hate to do so.
Gewehr actually remained remarkably cool-headed for having part of his plan go up in flames.
"Well, there it is. No turning back now. Silver lining, though - now you can get rid of the cannon any way you want without repercussions instead of just cutting some of the wires. Something tells me you would probably have ended up doing away with it in a way that would make Miccool Bay proud, anyway. But for now, get moving. I'm sure you'll be facing your first assault wave soon enough."
I had to agree with that. I'd bought quite a few plastic explosives in Vale for a rainy day like this, just in case. I was happy I did, since now I had the chance to properly use them.
In the timeless words of Jamie Hyneman: "When in doubt… C4."
I ended up encountering another Knight on the way to the server room, sending its head flying with a lucky shot to the neck servo. That was a hard confirm that yes, they were as vulnerable to headshots as any New York policeman.
At my earliest convenience, I ducked into a small side office and used the profile switch bag in my inventory, swapping out my stealth set for my assault set. All I'm gonna say on the matter is that I'm glad I didn't have to put on the ICTV by myself, 'cause that would've taken forever.
Another AK-130 popped up upon my exit, this time going down in a spray of assault rifle rounds.
When I finally reached the locked-down server room, I got a status report.
"The first couple of bots just arrived. They're making their way to the stairway leading to the underground right now. Titania's working on tapping into their comm channels, so we'll be able to pinpoint assault arrival times fairly soon. For now, start drilling that door. You don't want to be here any longer than you have to."
Don't have to tell me twice. I just hope this damn thing doesn't break down more than usual…
Objective updated: Get inside the server room
Setting up the drill was a simple matter. I managed to get it up and running in 10 seconds, a new personal best.
DRILLING IN PROGRESS
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 240 SECONDS
Four minutes… I was expecting three, with a maxed-out drill. Guess those added security shutters are tougher than I thought.
"Stop it!"
I turned, coming face to face with one of the few remaining human guards left. Seeing as how he was armed with only a dinky pistol, I decided to have a little fun. I began to slowly tromp towards him.
POFF-PTING! POFF-PTING! POFF-PTING!
The small caliber and poor projectile speed were rendered completely ineffective by the Improved Combined Tactical Vest, the bullets flattening on impact and falling to the floor.
The poor guard got more and more desperate the closer I came, firing faster and with increasingly erratic aim, completely disregarding his weapon's uselessness in his panic. Until finally…
CHIK! CHIK-CHIK!
He ran out of ammo. And he didn't even register it
Inwardly sighing at his poor willpower, I slightly raised my hands and clenched them into fists.
ZreeeeeeEEEEEEEIIIIII…
They began to emit a high-pitched whine, signifying the charging of the electrical shock that the unfortunate guard was about to receive. Said man was still trying to somehow injure me by dry-firing his weapon, the attempts going about as well as you'd expect.
Once the electro-knuckles were cranked up to a sufficient output, I stuffed my left fist into his gut, leaving it there for three whole seconds to really let the discharge sink in. After that, I let loose with a brutal uppercut to the chin with my right hand, actually blowing him off his feet and making him collapse back-first on the ground. The guard twitched and convulsed for a hot minute, then fell limp.
Hope he's not dead. I've already got four others on my conscience - I'd rather not have another. But this isn't the time to force Gamer's Mind into play. I'll deal with all that "first kill" bullshit when I'm not in a do-or-die situation and I can have a breakdown in relative safety. And privacy.
I shook my head to clear it and refocus my thoughts. I realized that this corridor likely wouldn't do me many favors in a firefight, so I scouted around for a position that was more defensible.
I encountered the first few Knight-cops in the process. They were obviously older models, going by their scrappy appearance - joints in obvious need of repair, stiffer and more robotic movements, and especially the scratched-up paint jobs, not to mention their poor armaments. They didn't even have any built-in weapons, and were forced to rely on crappy hand-me-down law enforcement gear - around the quality of the equipment that the K.O.'d guard had been carrying.
Consequently, their efficiency - and their ability to stop me - was in no way up to code. They all dropped like flies before my Signature .40.
Once the first few bots were down, I heard a new voice in my ear.
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Anticipation (PAYDAY 2)
"This is Titania. I've cracked the code on their messages, and am now listening in on law enforcement chatter. From the sound of it, they're already preparing for the first assault. By my reckoning, it'll hit you in about 40 seconds, maybe less."
That statement preceded more bots arriving at my position, falling just as easily as the last few.
"Thirty seconds."
A now-powerless exoskeleton dropped a Bronco .44. That was a relief, considering their stopping power.
"Twenty seconds."
Another metal head was sent flying.
"Ten."
I took a deep breath, and braced myself.
Okay… let's do this.
"Here they come."
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Assault [Instrumental] (PAYDAY 2)
/POLICE ASSAULT IN PROGRESS/
I was then introduced to a much better-kept version of the Knight-cop. It still wasn't as recent as a model 130, but it was far more competent than the buckets of bolts I had been downing with single-tap headshots for the last minute. It was also much cleaner-looking, and better armed, with stock submachine guns, shotguns, and the occasional assault rifle being the main weapons of choice.
Fortunately for me, that was really the only thing they had going for them. Their chassis were only slightly more durable than the scrap-bots, and didn't have any extra head area protection, so at best, they'd survive two more shots from my sidearm before losing power, if I didn't pull a headshot.
Suddenly, Gewehr called back.
"They disabled the drill! You've gotta restart it!"
In that moment, I was just about the farthest thing from "pleased" I can imagine.
I pulled out SWATsbane, letting rip on every machine in sight as I raced back to the server room door. Robot heads flew in every direction as rifle rounds disconnected them from their bodies.
Upon reaching the drill, I smacked it three times with the electro-knuckles, restarting it on the third try.
Man, I fucking LOVE Kickstarter Aced!
I decided this was a good time to check the progress.
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 174 SECONDS
Then I turned around and shot another Knight-cop in the visor, shattering it and sending the machine toppling to the floor, sparks dancing across the broken faceplate.
Titania pinged me again a second later.
"Heads up - they've sent in a squad of Shield units!"
That was a little cause for alarm. Why? Simple. The typical way to take down a Shield was to have someone draw their attention, then have another player shoot them while their frontal riot shield exposed their sides and back. Problem was, I didn't have any companions with me.
Thankfully, Gewehr had actually prepared for this outcome, and given me a little tip on how to deal with them. See, one of the reasons that this particular shield model ended up on the 'to upgrade' list was because it had an unfixed bug within its system that caused it to not turn its shield towards anyone who wasn't facing it, completely trivializing the process of taking it down. All I had to do if I encountered one was turn around, walk backwards until I ended up behind the shield, then blast it.
Of course, there was still the problem of it teaming up with other lawforcers and using them to discourage me from turning my back on them, but I was confident in my armor's ability to handle whatever they could throw at me.
Plus, if things did end up getting too dicey, I could always just chuck a Dust 'nade at 'em.
PANG-PANG-PANG!
The sound of a special unit banging their shield against the floor snapped me into an alert state. I determined that it came from behind, and without turning around, I began moving in that direction while resisting the urge to (try to) moonwalk.
The instant I saw a person-sized slab of metal appear in my field of vision, I trained my rifle in its direction and fired. A second later, another Knight-cop bit the dust.
I then turned around, and was met with the sight of three more shields. Accompanied by five more discount SWATters.
Oh, boy. This could get hairy…
K-CHIK!
"HOT POTATO!"
BLAMM!
Heh. Not. Materials and name may change, but the effect's still the same. Doesn't matter if it's labeled High-Explosive or Fire-Dust. If I have to pull a pin, and it makes a big boom, then it's a grenade in my book.
But my troubles weren't over yet.
"Watch out, a unit of Tasers just entered the building!"
Oh, wonderful. Now I can check "get electroshocked right in the nipple" off my bucket list.
Man, I don't think I've ever related to Chains as much as I have just now. Serial killer mercenary or not, there's a point where all the suffering he goes through stops being 'karma' and becomes 'disproportionate universal retribution.'
Then again, one of his hobbies is telling people to Eat Dat Dirt…
ZreeeeeeEEEEEEEIIIIII…
I was broken out of my (third? Fourth? Fifth? Honestly, I've stopped counting at this point) tangent by the tell-tale sound of a Taser unit building up a charge.
Frantically scanning the immediate area, I caught sight of the perpetrator and locked it in my sights right when it fired its signature weapon.
Right into my left nipple.
Wump-woomp-wup-wumm-bowwwwrrrr!
OFFICIAL ZEISS FAIL COUNTER: 11
FUCK OFF!
I thanked whatever gods were out there that the spray of bullets I forced out of my personalized CAR-4 ended up sending the bastard's tin can of a head flying down the hall before it could zap me into bleedout. Coming this far only to get unfairly downed by a complete troll of a unit would make me rage harder than TFS Vegeta on Namek.
(Of course, that would pale in comparison to what I'd unleash if it was a Cloaker who ended up getting me instead. There'd really be hell to pay if that came to pass.)
Just as soon as I'd broken out of my convulsions, I heard more high-pitched electrical whines from three different directions.
Oh, shit.
I spotted one Taser pretty quickly, and came up with an admittedly half-baked improvised plan to make this situation easier on myself. I dashed towards the dark-blue-and-yellow-coated robot and let loose a nasty left hook into its chest, the electro-knuckles causing it to short out for a brief moment - long enough for me to step behind it and use it as a metal shield. Just in time, too, since as soon as I ducked behind it, a bolt of electricity struck it dead-center instead of hitting me. The concentrated shock left it helpless, and allowed me to use it as cover to destroy the other two Tasers in the room before shooting it in the back.
Wow, that… actually worked, for some reason. Did someone turn on friendly fire while I wasn't looking?
I shortly stored that train of thought into a bullet, sending it off to remove another Knight-cop's head from its chestpiece.
And then the drill broke. Again.
Sigh…
Fuckin' hell…
After taking the time to properly fix it and not bang on it like a neanderthal, I checked its progress again.
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 80 SECONDS
Two thirds through. Come on, you bloody lightweights! I'm barely breakin' a sweat here!
That mental bravado was promptly shut down by Titania.
"A coordinated group of Shield and Taser units are closing in! Stay sharp!"
GOD DAMN IT, CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME HAVE MY CONFIDENCE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND?!
But I wasn't allowed to wallow in my indignation at the system for much longer. Because after a few more lawforcers fell to the floor, I heard those easily-recognizable sounds.
PANG-PANG-PANG!
ZreeeeeeEEEEEEEIIIIIII…
Good news was, they apparently never got the idea to split up into two separate groups, and were all advancing on me from a single direction. Bad news was that they were still smart enough to put the Shields in front to create a wall, letting the Tasers fire their shock beams through the tiny gaps in the impenetrable defense. You'd have to be a pretty good shot to get a bullet through that small of a space.
Fortunately for me, I'd been practicing.
Three bursts of three rounds each left my rifle, crippling the three Tasers that had been hiding behind the metallic riot shields. While they were preoccupied, I ran up to the congregation, building up a charge of my own while shrugging off small arms fire from the Shields' machine-pistols, and planted my fist right into the center of one. My stupid plan actually ended up working, the conductivity of its namesake resulting in the shock stunning the Shield long enough for me to fit my weapon between the gap and take out his left compatriot.
With one third of the wall down, I entered through and finished off the Tasers and the shorting-out Shield, before turning my attention to the final special unit. Seeing as it was a machine and therefore emotionless, it just kept firing at me with its little auto-peashooter up until the point where I exploited its glitch and popped a cap in its head.
With the last wave of specials down, I continued on my regular Knight-cop slaughtering spree until the drill finally finished doing its job.
"The drill's done! Get in there and upload that program!"
Objective updated: Insert the program into the mainframe
He didn't have to tell me twice. Sprinting inside, I located the primary terminal fairly quickly, and pulled out a tiny flash drive.
Whipping out my Signature .40 and blasting another lawforcer in the visor, I stuck the unassuming little thing into the closest access port, and grabbed the mouse with my other hand.
I found and opened up the new file on the desktop and set it to run, taking occasional breaks to put some rounds into any bots that tried to stop me.
The instant the program started working, Gewehr gave me some good and bad news, signifying the end of the assault wave.
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Control (PAYDAY 2)
"Wow. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like that. Anyway, now that the program's in the system, they won't be able to do anything to stop it from getting those files. You don't even have to supervise it. So, now all that's left to do is hit the cannon. Much as I'm sure you'll dislike doing so, the added security will likely force you to use the drill again. Just hold out for a little longer, and you'll be fine."
No rest for the wicked, huh…
Now that the assault wave was over, it was significantly easier to move around due to the halls not being congested with robots trying to gun me down. There were still a few of them here and there, along with the occasional special unit, but their division from each other made them easy pickings.
I reached the cannon doors in no time at all, and once again set up the unreliable drill.
Objective updated: Get inside the hangar
Do better this time, you little shit.
DRILLING IN PROGRESS
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 300 SECONDS
Titania called back with a warning.
"Oh, dear. Be careful, Zeiss - Atlesian law enforcement is stepping up its efforts to put you down. They're rolling in Heavy Response Units and Maximum Force Responders as we speak. Get ready to face some really heavy firepower."
In a few moments, I found out that she definitely wasn't wrong.
These new guys looked freshly-painted, with greys, reds, and blues all shiny and waxy. Their armaments were a step up - gone were the submachine guns and pump-action shotguns. Now, it was all just heavy assault rifles and semi-auto shotties, much more dangerous than what the previous wave had been carrying. And not only that, but their protection also received an upgrade. They were about three times harder to take down, needing triple the amount of bullets to forcibly shut off. They were still vulnerable to headshots, but the improved plating meant that they could take more than one hit to the face before falling.
That wasn't counting the fact that some of them now wore distinctive vests that were completely immune to bullets from the front, acting like pseudo-Shields. Only these were easier to kill, since their helmets didn't receive the same treatment, leaving them to still be vulnerable to headshots from all sides.
While I was in the middle of blasting a squad of these new fiercer opponents, the drill broke yet again.
Only this time, one of my upgrades actually did its job and automatically restarted it.
HELL YES! KICKSTARTER ACTUALLY CAME THROUGH FOR ME AGAIN! PRAISE RNJESUS!
My next five three-round bursts were all headshots.
I checked the progress during a brief lull in the fighting.
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 249 SECONDS
I then received another status report from the resident hacker that did not signal fun times ahead.
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Anticipation (PAYDAY 2)
"Uh-oh. If I'm hearing this chatter correctly, they seem to be preparing themselves for another assault wave. I think they're calling in more special units as well. The ETA is thirty seconds. Brace yourself."
Another lone taser attempted to overload my nerves, but instead found himself on the receiving end of a rifle cartridge.
"Twenty seconds."
I sprayed away at a group of Heavy Responders while backing up towards a Shield. My armor took several hits.
"Ten."
The special unit collapsed in a heap, as did the others. More sparking robot heads hit the floor.
Bring it on.
"Give 'em hell."
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Assault [Vocals] (PAYDAY 2)
/POLICE ASSAULT IN PROGRESS/
Three different squads of four Knight-cops moved in at once to kick things off with a bang.
Approximately two magazines later, they were all lying on the ground.
PANG-PANG-PANG!
More Shields appeared from one side, backup close behind.
Repeating the exploitation process caused one special unit to fall along with a good chunk of the help, with the others soon following suit.
ZreeeeeeEEEEEEEIIIIIII…
As soon as I heard that whine, I grabbed one of the discarded tower shields and turned to face the other direction. Since I wasn't made of highly conductive metal, the stream of electricity that hit my temporary protection wasn't nearly as debilitating as it had been for the last lawforcer who had suffered it. It still hurt like a bitch, though. Which was why I aimed through the tiny viewport in the middle of the huge slab of metal, and promptly kicked the thing directly at the offending Taser.
It couldn't dodge in time, resulting in the shield colliding with it head-on, and since the bot was still holding down the trigger on its namesake, it hilariously ended up shocking itself before going dark.
My brief moment of celebration for the badass improvised tactic was cut short by Titania.
"Oh, shoot! I've just found out that they've sent in a group of Cloakers! Watch the vents, and check your corners!"
FUCK. Oh, man, this is gonna suuuuuuck…
I heard a strange buzzing noise a few seconds after the notification, confirming the info.
Yup. No mistaking it - that's the sound of a Fisher-cop entering the area. Why do I feel like this is gonna give me nightmares…?
I was pulled from my musings by the arrival of more standard HRUs and MFRs.
My armor had been serving me very well thus far, but with recent events, it had started to become a little less dominating. It was becoming more and more prone to breaking due to the increased firepower I was facing, leaving me to tank hits using my health bar instead. Thankfully the Gambler perk deck I'd chosen for the assault kit let me heal myself with dropped ammo packs, which littered the floor by now, but it had a cooldown (albeit only a short one of 3 seconds), and I was beginning to lose more health with each notable firefight.
After mopping the floor with the grunts, I began to hear a faint noise that sounded somewhat like high-pitched TV static, but a little more… modern, for lack of a better term.
Said noise put me extremely on edge, as I knew exactly what it meant.
The ninja-cops are getting closer… but where…?!
I frantically whipped my head back and forth, skimming over everything in my vision for even just a tiny hint of black and green.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to spot it before I heard that warbling, hellish noise that made even the most hardened of heisters shit bricks.
WulululuLULULULU-
Without thinking, I about-faced and sprayed bullets everywhere.
In an amazing stroke of fortune, three of them ended up hitting the black-painted special unit directly in the night-vision visor right before its outstretched foot hit my face.
I staggered a few steps away from the now-powerless hunk of metal, clutching my chest and gasping.
H-holy… fucking… shit… that was way too close for comfort… if I hadn't hit him before he jump-kicked me, that would've been it. I'd be stuck in bleedout, completely helpless, without any means of revival. My god, am I a lucky bastard…
I was broken out of my thoughts when I noticed that the faint staticky-noise wasn't gone.
Oh crap, that wasn't the only one!
Thankfully, the remaining two Cloakers were not as difficult to pick out as the first had been. I chalked that up to the spartan white walls that Atlas apparently had a thing for. In any case, they went down fairly easily, owing to them trading away some of their protective armor in favor of mobility and to enable their insane acrobatics.
Pfeh. You call that a difficulty tweak? I must not be playing a very hard game, then.
What Titania said next completely shattered whatever feelings of security I may have still had by that point.
"Brace yourself. You've got a mountain of a Bulldozer heading your way. Remember, keep as much distance as you can, and aim for the head area."
But by that point, I had pretty much run out of fucks to give.
You know what? Let's see the bastard try. A veritable army of professionally programmed and equipped robotic law enforcers couldn't stop me. What makes this clown any different from the legions of mooks and elites I've already slain?
As I would soon learn, taunting Murphy like that was basically asking to get screwed over.
How? Well, when Titania notified me of the Dozer's entrance, she forgot to mention that it didn't enter alone. Which, when you consider the situation, was actually a pretty idiotic assumption to make.
So, where I was expecting a single ordinary Black Dozer, I instead got an ordinary Black Dozer preceded by a wall of Shields, flanked by Tasers, backed up by another trio of Cloakers, and completely surrounded by regular Max Responders.
Ohhhh… it's different because it's backed up by another legion of mooks and elites.
I see.
K-CHIK!
"CRY, MOTHERFUCKERS!"
BLAMM!
Ahh, sweet, sweet Fire Dust grenades. Where would I be without you?
The idiotic Knight-cops had all stupidly decided to march in a very tight formation, resulting in my little potato masher effectively devastating them. The Shield Wall was blown towards me, the Tasers were rendered unrecognizable, and the Cloakers' visors were shattered, not to mention all the regular enemies who were ragdolled away from ground zero. The only unit not taken out by the blast was the Bulldozer itself, and even then, its faceplate had been blown off, with the glass covering on the helmet beneath it slightly cracked.
I brought up SWATsbane, aligned the laser pointer on the Dozer's face, and held down the trigger.
PASSHK!
You can probably guess that the tanky special unit lost the ability to function within three seconds after the sound of a glass head protector shattering rang out.
You say I'm trapped in a facility full of robots? False. They're all trapped in here with me.
Following that, I got another alert.
"They're activating medic units. Take them out as soon as you see them, or you'll get swarmed more than you'll be able to handle."
I was a little confused as to why they didn't do that sooner. I figured they'd pull that card as soon as they rolled out the heavier guys, but I guess they still weren't taking me that seriously then. But they sure as hell were now.
That's not a good sign. If I stay here too long, they might eventually resort to sending in huntsmen. I may be The Gamer, but I'm only level 19, and I'm still restricted to Payday weapons at the moment. If they decide to actually send in a specialist, I'm done for. Haaa… come on, drill, don't fail me now!
The drill broke again as soon as those words crossed my mind.
...note to self: stop saying stupid things that invite Murphy to kick me in the dick.
Fixing the drill was still as simple as it ever was, and conveniently allowed me to check my timestamp.
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 154 SECONDS
Two and a half minutes to go… halfway there. God, why am I feeling like I'm doing an Overdrill run…?
Switching to my pistol, I put a few rounds into another enemy before it disappeared around the corner. A second later, a green outline appeared behind the wall.
Well, here they are. Back to work.
The same enemy came back, only to be downed by a few crack shots to the head. A primarily red-painted Knight-cop followed behind it, and suffered the same fate.
That's whatcha get for mashing E. Healing doesn't do squat if you get nuked.
Things basically continued on in this manner for a while. Teams of special units would be sent in, only to get nothing but bullets. Heavy Response Units and Maximum Force Responders would be cut down in droves, with their attempts to force me to the ground either completely negated by my ammo healing factor, or severely hampered by it. Whenever a Bulldozer came my way, it soon found itself missing its faceplate, glass protector, and eventually its ability to function entirely. Tasers and Cloakers alike tried to incapacitate me, but their distinctive sound cues proved to be their undoing. And in the event that I did get shocked, the perpetrator would immediately find themselves on the receiving end of a sporadic barrage from whichever gun I was using at the time.
Shields were bamboozled each and every time they appeared. I thanked my lucky stars that the bug was in their system, as they would have been very infuriating to take down otherwise. Hopefully, once this all blew over, Atlas would be galvanized to get their programmers on that bug and troubleshoot it. I reminded myself to ping any government official I could contact to tell them to get on that once my name was cleared.
After the drill broke for the third time, I checked its progress again post-restart.
ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 42 SECONDS
Heh. 42.
And then came the "final boss" announcement.
"THE CAPTAIN IS HERE! HE'S IN CHARGE OF THE OPERATION!"
DEFEAT CAPTAIN TO END ASSAULT
Oh, COME ON!
"Oh, my lord… they actually brought in Captain Waters himself. I think this might be the best use of your last grenade. If that doesn't force him to retreat, well… I'm not sure how you'll be able to get past that shield of his with your current armaments. Just give him an explosion, and if he holds his ground, improvise. You do seem to be adept at that."
...fuck.
If you've experienced the meat shield that is Captain Winters before, you can probably understand why this would be such a problem.
I was cooped up defending the drill, and waiting to get inside the cannon room in the basement floor. Waters, if he behaved like his FBI counterpart, would likely stay camping at the front of the building until he was taken down. Between me and him were countless ordinary HRUs and MFRs, not to mention all kinds of special units still en-route to my position.
Now, if Waters was just a buffed-up Shield and nothing else, it wouldn't be an issue. But the real conundrum here came from the fact that he would provide buffs to every enemy unit in the area as long as he was on the scene. I wasn't sure how the "advanced pathfinding" would work, but I disregarded that in favor of brooding on the progressively stacking defense buffs and the increased spawn rates. (Of course, from a realistic standpoint, none of those made any sense considering Waters was commanding robots instead of ordinary humans, but moving on.)
If I moved now, I'd only have to deal with steady increases. If I moved later, I'd have to deal with enemies with a flat 50% damage reduction to everything I threw at them.
Quite the problem, you understand.
Except not really. Going now wouldn't really be worth it. The buff only took 40 seconds to reach maximum efficiency, and by that point the drill would be done and I'd be wasting valuable time that I could be spending blowing the cannon up.
I figured I'd deal with it during the escape sequence.
About forty seconds later, the drill stopped, and I swung open the door to the underground hangar.
Objective updated: Place the explosives on the cannon
The cannon itself was… how can I accurately describe it?
I suppose the best I can do would be saying that it looked like something that wouldn't be out of place in a futuristic planetary defense system.
It was also, as you'd probably expect, pretty frickin' big. About as large as, maybe slightly bigger than a regular bullhead.
Y'know, it actually kinda looks like it could be mounted on a really huge mech… nah, what am I saying? There's no way the military would splurge on such a ridiculous and obviously impractical thing.
...would they?
"I believe we should count our blessings that they weren't able to extort the codes out of me before you showed up. If you tried to blow it up while it was charging or charged, there would be a fairly large chance of a chain reaction occurring that would, at worst, wipe out the entirety of the city of Atlas, or even cause the island to crash. But this isn't the time for what-ifs. You said you brought explosives, so now is the time to use them."
With pleasure.
I got to work pronto.
Of course, nothing was ever easy, as I found myself constantly harassed by Knight-cops steadily streaming into the hangar through the door I left open.
It took a bit of doing, and a lot of breaks to take care of an errant special unit, but I was able to plant enough charges to make sure the cannon would be nothing more than a pile of scrap after I hit the detonator.
"Is that all of them? Good. Oh, but I would suggest getting to a safe distance before you push the button. Without the aura battery charged, the resulting explosion won't cost nearly as much in collateral damage than it would if it was, but it will still be a very, very big boom. In fact, I'd exit the basement entirely just to be safe."
Objective updated: Leave the underground floor
Sigh…
Wonderful. Now I have to go back up.
Truth be told, I was starting to get a little burned out. It almost felt like everything was starting to become a chore. Run here, run there, drill this door, shoot these cops before they overwhelm you, exploit those Shields before they become a nuisance, kill them Tasers before they zap you, headshot the Cloakers over there before they drop-kick you, take out that Bulldozer before it Roado Rolla Da-s you, fix the drill, rinse, repeat until escape.
So this time I decided to just sprint through the bullets instead of taking the time to blast anything that shot at me. And it worked. Surprisingly well, for some reason. I ended up taking far less hits than I expected.
Maybe their aiming subroutines aren't very accurate? Or did the assembly line workers just insert "ImpStmtprMksmnshpAcdmy .exe" or something stupid like that and call it a day?
Objective updated: Destroy the cannon
Once I ascended the stairway to the ground floor, I took cover in another convenient nearby supply closet and pulled out the detonator.
I extended the antenna, flicked the "arm" switch, lifted the not-plastic button protector, waited a second or two for dramatic effect, then slammed my fist down on the big red button.
The result?
BOOOOOOOOOOM!
About what you'd expect.
"Holy…! I think you just rustled the jimmies of everyone within a five mile radius! Maybe even the entire island!"
Objective updated: Wait for escape route
"Okay. Now that that's done, we can focus on getting you out of there ASAP. We're working on it right now, but I'd still say you have about… maybe three minutes before it arrives. Hold your ground until then.
All right. Three more minutes. Wonder if I can take out Waters… fuck it, let's do this.
I made my way up to the second floor, fighting tooth and nail to keep my hit points from going down to zero. At one point, I had to resort to deploying a doctor bag and using it to patch myself up. Once I did, I found a window overlooking the front of the building.
And there was Captain Waters, surrounded by his squad of Phalanx units.
Yup. Still as stationary as ever.
I took out my last grenade.
Let's see how they fare against this little thing.
K-CHIK!
I pulled the pin, cooked it for a second, then tossed it.
BLAMM!
"Graaagh!"
My timing was near perfect, with the explosive going off right in front of Waters' shield. The blast threw all eight of the elite Shields to the ground.
The Phalanx units in the front were all shut down, while the ones in the back were barely able to get back up. Waters himself was blown back and collided with an ACPD car, seemingly knocked unconscious. Medics surrounded him, and began to carry him off, probably to the nearest infirmary.
That signified the end of the wave.
Track Cue: Break the Rules - Control (PAYDAY 2)
"Well, I'll be… you actually forced him off. I guess those grenades packed more punch than I thought. I suppose the rest of your time here will be relatively easy. However short that will be."
Wouldn't you know it, he was right. I stopped losing as much health, and wasting as much ammo. Most importantly, the hallways weren't as clogged with walking tin cans.
After a little while more of the same-old-same-old, I got another message.
"Your escape method's almost here. Head up to the roof. Trust me, you're going to love this."
Considering this was coming from someone who may or may not have been a mad scientist, what with his field of study and all, that statement put me a little on edge. But since I really didn't have any better ideas, I followed his orders and made my way to the roof.
When I did, well… I wasn't sure whether to be amazed, or rage at this sudden sense of intense irony I felt.
Because of all the ways I could have gotten out of this situation, my benefactor had, for some stupid reason, decided to go the route that involved jacking me a bullhead.
Objective updated: Escape!
The thing hovered in the air as close as it could get to the ledge of the building, and the side door hissed open. I heard a voice shouting from inside… and was more than a little surprised to find out it was Petra's.
"C'mon, get in! Hurry! They're bringing out anti-air countermeasures as we speak! If you want to leave, we need to go NOW!"
The fact that it sounded like she was speaking through a radio did nothing to diminish the galvanizing effect it had on me, as I quickly ran to the edge and hopped inside.
Track Cut
Walking into the cockpit, I suddenly understood the vocal interference, as there wasn't anyone sitting in either of the pilot seats.
"Okay, let's get you outta here! Don't worry about piloting - Mom managed to crack the firewall on this one and get me in. I don't know a lot about flying this thing, but I did brush up on the owner's manual, so I'd like to think that I know enough to keep us from crashing! Besides, Dad told me to just treat it like a video game, and so far, I've been doing just fine!"
"And how exactly are you flying this thing?! Did you hook it up to a keyboard and mouse or something?! Wait, please don't tell me I'm living a flight simulator!"
"They had a remote cockpit in here. I'll tell you all about it once you're safe! Stop worrying, and just hang on!"
So I did. I unequipped my armor, stored my leftover equipment in my inventory, took off my mask, and replaced my attire with my usual one. I then sat down in the pilot seat, buckled myself in, and braced myself for the no-doubt bumpy ride ahead of me.
I received a notification while I tried to get comfortable.
Quest Complete!
Atlas Mugged
Rewards received:
Ares 90 manufacturer
2,500 EXP
5,000 Lien
SWATsbane
Poster Soldier
Scrap Slayers
Ghost's Primary
Bonus Rewards:
2,500 Lien
All stolen Ares 90 materials
LEVEL UP!
VIT: 105 +5
STR: 100 +5
INT: 77 +4
DEX: 137 +5
AGI: 138 +5
RES: 64 +3
LUK: 46 +2
CHR: 46 +2
+5 stat points
Learned "Sol!"
Hah ha, finally! The signature skill of the Mercenary line!
...does that make them all vampires?
Sol [Active] (Level ⅕)
Strike with the radiant brilliance of the sun, and regenerate health based on the damage dealt. Multiplies the damage dealt by a regular strike by 2, and heals the user equal to 50% of the health lost by the opponent the skill is used on if the attack hits.
Hm… I'm assuming that at max level, it deals triple damage and restores 100% of the damage dealt. Not bad… not bad at all.
Once we actually started moving, I began to wonder about something else.
"Where are we going? I can't exactly think of anywhere close by that I could use to hide from Atlas…"
"I'm not trying to get you to a hiding place, I'm just trying to get you far away enough so that you can stall for the program. Once General Ironwood finds out about the truth of the matter, he'll drop everything and order a retreat. You just have to avoid getting caught or dying until he gets the files the program will send to him. Once he does, you're home free."
"Wow… I think it just hit me how insane this whole plan really sounds."
"You say that like it wasn't totally unbelievable before. Breaking into the main R&D facility of a militaristic kingdom, burning and deleting their files, blowing up their property, with the only means of escape being a hacked bullhead with an untrained pilot and the hope that the leader will call a retreat once he finds out that we're doing this for the greater good? You were right, you know. It really does sound like the plot of an action movie."
"Yeah. I guess all I can really do now is pray to whoever's listening that this flick has a happy ending."
"Oh, quit your depressing monologue. You're gonna be fine."
"You do know what the definition of 'monologue' is, right?"
"Shut up and let me focus!"
Unfortunately, our conversation was brought to an end by something that really got me sweating.
VREEP! VREEP! VREEP!
LOCK-ON ATTEMPT DETECTED.
"...that's not good, is it?"
"WOW, YOU THINK?!"
I checked the rear camera monitor, and saw that we were being tailed by a trio of other bullheads.
"Ohh, this is bad… we do have countermeasures, but I can't remember which button fires them, and even then, they're only one-use. I think you might have to bail!"
At her words, I unbuckled the seat belt and exited the cockpit.
And found myself staring at another blue exclamation mark.
Mach Speed Stage 3
Atlas
"Streetway Sprint"
Best Time: - - : - -
Best Rank: -
WARNING! EXPIRES IN: 0:18
Huh. I guess the City Escape rip-off decided to arrive sooner than anticipated.
VREE-VREE-VREE-VREE-VREE!
LOCK-ON DETECTED.
"Oh, shoot! They've got a bead on me!"
Well. Looks like I don't have a choice.
Play stage?
Yes | No
Yes.
Grab a board first.
Loading…
I can do that.
I opened the cargo door, pulled out a bladed tool from my inventory, and sawed away at the outer layer of the craft.
"Uh, Zeiss? What are you doing?"
"You told me to bail. So I'm bailing."
KRRRRR-RANG!
"Wait, wait, you're WHAT?!"
BEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE-
MISSILE LAUNCH DETECTED.
"Oh, relax, Iron Girl, I'll be fine. See ya later!"
I fell out the door a few seconds before the missile hit.
BOOOOOM!
The bullhead went up in flames, but was actually still in relatively one piece, and continued to glide off. While doing involuntary aileron rolls (not barrel rolls, as much as I would like to say otherwise).
Meanwhile, I continued to drop towards the ground. Using that time, I fashioned impromptu straps to hold my feet to the sheet of metal I intended to use as a board using various materials I had in my inventory.
Can't believe I ended up actually using those Beowulf Furs for this… what a Chekhov's Gun, am I right?
Loading complete.
Stage 03
Atlas
Streetway Sprint
Objective: Evade the Atlesian authorities!
Wait a minute, what about fall damage-? No, wait, Sonic defies physics. Fall damage doesn't exist for him.
Track Cue: Escape From the City (Sonic Adventure 2)
Oooof course.
I maneuvered myself to a standing position, and hit the ground board-first. As I predicted, my legs didn't break.
Maybe because the tilted road I landed on simply transferred the direction of my momentum without trying to stop it?
Well, whatever. I was really moving now, so I focused my attention on not colliding with any obstacles in the way.
"ATTENTION, ALL UNITS. TARGET SEEN HEADING SOUTH. BLOCK ALL MAJOR ROADS AND CAPTURE THE TARGET."
So apparently the system can now tap into police communications. Go figure.
Screeching around a corner, I saw an orange-white striped ramp up ahead.
These stages really like to abuse the suspension of disbelief, eh? Guess that's what happens when you let 'em alter reality in favor of "good and enjoyable gameplay."
I jumped at the lip of the ramp, gaining almost a full five seconds of air time and collecting a bunch of rings in the process. I also did a few system-assisted acrobatics for those extra juicy bonus points.
AWESOME! +10,000
I don't know if I'll ever get used to the feeling of relying on the system for movement. It feels natural, but… it also doesn't. Almost wrong, in a sense. Hopefully I'll be able to grow out of that once I get more experience. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to to that before Beacon.
I encountered a few attempts at roadblocks when encountering turns and crossroads, but those were swiftly jumped over or smashed through.
Really glad these don't actually affect the real world. I'd likely be paying millions in collateral damage clean-up if they did… and go into debt.
Still have no idea how the mechanics behind these things interact with reality. What does everyone else see while I'm making my way to the goal ring?
...meh, I suppose I'll ask someone later.
A few more ramp jumps, shortcuts, and a metric fuck-ton of rings later, I spotted a boost ramp ahead, leading to what looked like a rich man's park.
Seems it's time to say goodbye, faithful metalboard. It was fun while it lasted.
But when I actually flew off the ramp, I instead took the improvised streetboard off my feet and stuffed it into my inventory before I hit the ground.
Nah. That's a souvenir for later. And if I ever need it again. Which I probably will.
Looking around the park while picking up speed, I saw several bullheads air-drop AK-130s in various different areas. The ones directly in my linear path were blown away by liberal application of the boost, and occasionally with a homing attack. Rings were still everywhere, as per the norm. Many were picked up.
Some platforming sequences, a lot of carnage, and loads of public property damage later, I blew through the park gates and rail-ground down some stairways. You can also be sure that a copious amount of BOUNCE PADs were hit on the way.
I was met with some more resistance at the bottom of the stairways. Nothing a few super sonic spin jumps couldn't take care of. God damn, that name is so cringeworthy, but it's got that '90s flair that you just can't help but love…
Anyway, this led to a relatively long stretch of flat ground to run along on. Which provided a convenient excuse for Atlas' version of the Chaser section.
The three bullheads from before flew in front of me, turned around, and twisted their engines to fly backwards while pointing towards me. Looking at what popped out of their lower fronts, I quickly deduced what was about to happen.
Oh, boy. Another quickstep section. But this time, it's with aircraft-mounted chainguns! Wheeee.
It was just like every other section of its kind. Wait until one fired, quickstep to a different lane. Wait until another fired, then move to another lane. Repeat until they begin firing two at a time, then alter strategy so it becomes "move to the one lane not being ripped apart by bullets," and then continue repeating.
Except this one was unique in its own way, since this time I got to boost-bash AK-130s into the bullheads while they were firing at me. Hitting one enough times would cause it to lose control and crash-land, leaving its lane danger-free. I figured that was kinda imbalanced, but rolled with it since it did make things easier.
The section ended when I hit another boost ramp, going back to the streets, only this time without a board.
Here's where my latent Initial D instincts come to the forefront! ...heh, I wish.
There were dash pads that assisted with turns anyway, and led to more trick ramps. So… moot point.
A few boatloads of acrobatic bonus points later, the starting point of the level's final stretch came into sight.
I'm both anticipating and dreading the arrival of what'll be taking the place of the G.U.N. Truck…
When I crested that peak, and looked behind me, I saw something startlingly familiar.
Track Cue: Mad Convoy Race (Sonic Adventure 2)
What the hell-? No, that's…! That makes no sense! I saw that thing get blown to pieces with my own eyes back during the light cycle chase! How did they fix it so fast?!
For you see, what had crashed in on my tail and was now doing everything in its power to turn me into a road omelette was the very same 18-wheeler that was sitting at the back of the blockade that I had nuked using the Noob Tube just a few days ago. I had no idea how they could have pieced it back together in such a short time, but I was a little preoccupied with trying not to get flattened at the moment to worry about such things.
Thanks to the fact that my camera angle never changed, I was able to see the correct times to jump in order to maximize bonus points. I didn't really need to see how close the truck was getting since I was already going as fast as I could, and if that wasn't enough, I was two-dimensional anyway.
So, I simply continued to do as I had been doing: run like hell, boost when possible, hit the ramps, make sure not to miss the boost pads, you know. Just Sonic things.
And then the truck brought out the saws.
Oh, we Generations now? What, is it gonna whip out the rocket boosters next?
I had to rely solely on pop-up warnings to escape being shredded into meat chunks. Basically, it was another Chaser section, only this time the enemy was completely land-based and there was no way to stop it.
Right, left, right, left twice, right again, left again, right twice, cha-cha now y'all.
My earlier theory was proven correct the next time I encountered a BOUNCE PAD, and was launched onto the side of a wall of buildings. The massive 18-wheeler hopped into the air using what I assumed to be incredibly juiced-up springy suspension, then unfolded giant jet engines from the back of its trailer and continued to give chase.
That violates the laws of physics on so many different levels, but who the hell cares?! Rule of Cool forever!
I consistently checked behind me to gauge the distance, and was pleased to see that there was about a 20-25-yard difference between me and the truck.
Then the flames escaping the rocket boosters turned bright blue, and it began closing the gap at a rapid pace.
OOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIII-
It got to the point where its bumper was just barely nudging my back-
KABOOOM!
-and then it promptly crashed into the side of another building.
The space was just wide enough to allow me to squeeze through, spitting me out the other side to arrive in a small space with an archway leading forward, containing the goal ring.
Track Cue: Results Screen (Sonic Forces)
Hoo boy, what a thrill ride. I kinda feel like I got decades-early access to the Sonic Adventure VR Experience. Which is badass.
Kinda disappointed I didn't get the SA2 victory theme, though. Would be much more fitting, considering this was practically a copy-paste of City Escape.
Time: 2:59
Enemies: 31
Rings: 276
Bonus: 123,000
Untouchable: 30,000
Rank: S
I can't whistle to save my life, so I'll just say the rest.
"That was cool!"
Wow, the cheese levels are off the charts. Gaia, remind me to never do something like that again.
Duly noted.
Thanks.
S-Rank! +3,250 EXP
LEVEL UP!
VIT: 110 +5
STR: 105 +5
INT: 81 +4
DEX: 142 +5
AGI: 143 +5
RES: 67 +3
LUK: 48 +2
CHR: 48 +2
+5 stat points
Still climbin' the ranks. I'm eligible for promotion now, right? Gonna have to figure out how to do that soon.
Stage Rewards:
"Mesh of Honor"
"Rail Grinders"
Oh, woooooow.
Mesh of Honor
A grey-and-red trucker cap awarded to those who survive a run-in with the B.L.D. Armed Urban Troop Transport, more commonly known as the "Blade Truck." Features the B.L.D. emblem front and center, circled by buzz-saws and standing in front of two crossed rockets.
Rail Grinders
A pair of red and white 'soap shoes,' with green and gold highlights. Their design supposedly allows them to easily perform their namesake. It's said that a famous celebrity once wore these for a little adventure because of a brand deal.
Track Cut
With the adrenaline rush now over, I stepped through the archway and came to a city square.
A suspiciously empty city square.
I heard the roar of a bullhead engine coming closer, and spotted another one of the buggers. I prepared to make a run for it, but looking closer, I saw that it hadn't deployed any weapons yet.
That's odd… I'd expect that chaingun it surely has packed inside it to be out and spinning right about now. Why isn't it?
The aircraft came closer, and began slowing. Once it was hovering over the center of the city square, I saw its cargo doors open.
A second later, a figure dropped out.
KRRSCHHHH!
The impact they made when they hit the ground in a classic superhero landing (aw, dude, don't do that, it's terrible on the knees… but what the hell, it's still awesome) was forceful enough to crack the material under their feet, and kicked up enough dust to obscure their details, leaving me with only a silhouette to go off of. A second later, they rose to a standing position.
I decided that showy display deserved a golf clap.
"Quite the entrance, future opponent. The ground cracking and the dust cloud were good cinematic touches. I give it a 9 out of 10."
"Why, thank you, registered criminal! You have very impressive feats to your own name, too! Unfortunately, none of those feats are allowed by Atlesian law, so I must now apprehend you! My sincerest apologies!"
I was caught off-guard at the cheery response, but my jaw almost hit the floor when I recognized who the voice belonged to. By that point, the dust cloud was starting to fade.
"Oh, my, I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? Sal-u-tations, future prison inmate! My name is Penny Polendina, and as you already know, I am here to arrest you!"
The obstructive cloud was gone by now, revealing the smiling and waving visage of my would-be jailer, as well as the words floating above her head.
Penny Polendina
Super Fighting Robot
Tanker
Lv. 23
Oh...
Quest Alert!
Rock 'Em Sock 'Em
You destroyed the cannon and escaped the facility, but there's one last obstacle standing between you and ultimate victory: Remnant's resident Pinocchio. This probably isn't a battle you can win, but then again, you're not trying to win…
Objective:
-Survive
Rewards:
-4,000 EXP
-3,000 Lien
...fuck.
A/N: Sorry, I couldn't resist giving her that title. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up!
Quick note - for those of you concerned about the spectators' reactions to these events, don't you worry. Those will be addressed next chapter. I can't guarantee they'll be pretty, but they will happen, and they will be shown.
Believe it or not, I think I might have unintentionally slightly foreshadowed Penny's appearance during the last chat log, when Gepetto was mentioned to be working with Auratech. I also included some references to canon here and there during the bullhead escape and the cannon hangar bits.
Before I forget, how did the music cues work out for you guys? Payday usually switches to Anticipation tracks exactly thirty seconds before an assault wave arrives, which can actually act as a spoiler if Bain is late in announcing it. Let me know if the timing was executed well, or if it wasn't.
With that out of the way... will Zeiss survive this encounter with everyone's favorite Real Girl? Will General Ironwood act as predicted and call off the assault? And what will happen when Zeiss eventually re-enters the group chat? Find out in the next chapter, featuring puppet swords, lasers, air support, and the epic climax to this story arc, on SOFT RESET!
(Apologies, I've always wanted to do that, too.)
'Till next time.
[TRANSMISSION ENDED]