He stood for some time just staring at the door, his jaw quivering.

Eventually he bit the bullet and just flung it open.

He didn't know what he expected to find. He thought he knew what he had seen in Noah's terror stricken eyes but…

It was peaceful.

He approached the bed one slow step at a time until he was staring down at the boy.

Josh was asleep. He was asleep, that's all.

Relief washed over him and he turned to yell out to Noah; tell Noah everything was fine. He'd made a mistake.

But the words stuck in his throat as Josh's hand shot out to grab at his wrist, his blue eyes were open wide and he was howling.

...

Luke was ripped from his sleep by Mia's high pitched wail and a loud knocking at the door.

At first he was disoriented.

He was on the right hand side of the bed instead of his usual left and he kicked the slumbering Noah in his frantic attempt to scramble to his feet.

Taking a moment he sat up and looked around at the familiar yet unfamiliar bedroom. Eventually it came back to him that they were at the farm.

Flying out of the bed, he bolted for the door in his desperation to get to the distort Mia he could hear on the other side. But he caught a flash of his naked self in the standalone mirror and remembered in that split second to put on some pants.

Dressed, he unlocked and opened the door to find his father standing there with the screaming child in his arms.

Mia immediately stretched her arms out for Luke, hitching her little breath as she struggled to breathe through her panic.

"Sorry, Dad," Luke said, taking Mia from his arms and adjusting her pink nightgown as he did so. "We fell asleep and forgot to leave our door open for them."

"It's okay, Luke." Holden assured him, smiling at how quickly Mia relaxed now that she was with Luke. "I had hoped to give you and Noah a lie in, but I couldn't get her to calm at all."

Mia's head lay on Luke's shoulder and her screams had mercifully been pacified by the thumb she stuck in her mouth.

"She woke up in a strange place, that's all." Luke said, stroking her back.

He kissed the top of Mia's head, "Did you get a fright, baby?"

She nodded into his chest.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to come and sleep in our bed for a while?"

Again she nodded, without once taking the thumb from her mouth.

"Thanks, Dad."

Holden smiled, "Don't mention it. And no need to worry about Nicky. He's already playing outside with Ethan. He was up at the crack of dawn with me."

Luke laughed. "He loves being with you."

"You okay son? You look a little…"

"Just a nightmare." Luke assured him.

Holden nodded sadly at him.

"Okay, well, I've got a few things to do around the farm. Work has sure piled up since I've been away in L.A. So I'll catch you guys later."

"We'll be out to help you soon, Dad."

"Oh no you won't." Holden stated. "Absolutely not. You two need a break and that's what you'll get while you're both here. The fresh country air will do you some good. As will Ma's choc-chip cookies I'm willing to wager!"

Luke smiled at his father and relented with a nod.

"See you later then, Dad."

He closed the door with his foot and turned to find that Noah had slept through the whole conversation.

"Noah shleeping…" Mia informed him from behind her thumb.

"Yes he is, so we need to stay nice and quiet, okay?"

He placed her on the bed and she crawled into the crook of Noah's arm, lying there and staring up at the ceiling. Luke lay down beside her and rolled over on his side.

He pushed a strand of hair from her face and whispered, "Where are we Mia?"

She yawned and gazed up at him making him smile. She was gorgeous.

"I don't know." She answered.

"Yeah you do. I bet Nicky told you…"

"There's horses."

"That's right! Did Nicky tell you that?"

She nodded, big eyes starting to droop as she began to nod off behind a yawn.

"What else did Nicky say?"

"Pol..age." she barley got the word out before Luke heard Noah's attempt to conceal a snort.

He had obviously woken up during their conversation.

"Hey." Luke smiled at him.

"Hi." Noah returned and then rolled over to see Mia better.

She lifted Noah's hand into her little fingers and started playing with it.

"You still mad?" Luke sheepishly asked, raising hopeful eyes at Noah.

His husband shook his head. "You did a really stupid thing, Luke."

"I know."

"Noah I was scared." Mia interrupted, dropping Noah's hand to suck back on her thumb.

"What?"

"When she woke up." Luke explained.

"Oh." Noah said. "Well, I'll tell you a secret… Want to hear it?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

"This is the one place in the whole world where you never have to be alone or frightened. There are only good things here. It's like magic!"

She smiled. "Like Dis-thney?"

They both laughed.

"Yeah." Noah replied. "I guess so."

He looked up and shared a lengthily gaze with Luke.

Luke wished he could say that Noah was content. And maybe in that moment he was. His voice was soft and even, and his face calm. But Luke seemed to see the surface of a dark pool reflected in those baby blues; the water ruffled as though something heavy had just sunk below.

Unable to see Noah's silent pain for a moment longer, Luke Looked away and asked the little girl, "What shall we do today, Mia?"

"Go schwimming."

Luke and Noah exchanged a quiet laugh and Luke resolved to give Noah more time. Eventually the man would let it out. He would have to.

"It's a little cold to go swimming, Baby." Luke told her. "We're not at the beach right now."

"I want to be a mermaid."

"I guess we can safely say you sorted the water thing out?" Luke suggested.

Noah nodded; a slight tinge of relief on his brow.

"At least some things are coming right," Luke thought watching him.

"We can't go swimming at the moment, Mia," Noah told her, "but how would you like to ride a pony?"

She couldn't even get a word out - just ecstatic panting sounds - she was so excited.

"Because I'm sure if you asked Granddad really nicely he'll show you how to ride one."

"And I happen to know a very nice pony called Nash who would love to meet a pretty little lady like you." Luke finished.

"Yay!" she exclaimed.

Suddenly no longer tired, she hopped up on her knees between them before diving at Noah and sitting on his chest. "Can we go now?"

Getting his breath back, Noah laughed, "Not right away, Mia, okay? First we-"

Thunderous footfalls sounded and two blurred shapes whizzed into the room and flew onto the bed in uproarious giggles.

"Grandma Emma made pol-age!" Nicholas exclaimed right in Luke's face. "Can we eat now? Can we? Can we?"

"Yes," Luke told him, "but first we have to get you guys cleaned up! What HAVE you been doing?"

Both boys were caked in dirt, from their toes all the way to the tops of their heads.

"We're searching for buried treast-ture." Ethan proudly informed his brother.

Noah laughed, rubbing at on of Ethan's smudged cheeks. Luke's heart soured at a sound he hadn't heard in days.

"Where were you guys looking?" Noah asked. "The pigsty?"

Mia giggled but both boys looked at Noah as though he were an idiot.

"There are no pigs here, silly!" Nicholas exclaimed.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Noah said, "I'm pretty sure I'm looking at two right now!"

Noah launched at them both; grabbing one under each arm and holding them there was he tickled them.

They squealed loudly.

"Yip. Definitely sounds like two piglets to me… What do you think Mia?"

Collapsing with laughter Mia joined in with the tickling.

"Funny piggy's!" she agreed.

And even though the boys were covering the sheets, Noah and Mia in dirt, Luke left them too it.

It felt so good, after such a period of sadness, to be able to laugh, even for just a moment.

...

Damian's prison cell was about 6 by 8 feet with brick walls and one solid and barred door that locked from the outside.

Unlike most other prisoners on Ward D, Damian shared his cell with nobody. It was amazing what money could get you if you just found the right outstretched hand.

His only window overlooked the prison exercise yard, and his cell was a high enough above the prison walls to have a view of the surrounding countryside and tree plantations.

On certain days, when the wind blew in from the east, the prison became infested with the acrid smell of the nearby paper factory. Today was one of those days.

The smell was like a manifestation of what he felt inside after his meeting with Luke the day before.

He dropped his prison issued sweats to take a quick leak in the stainless steel lavatory. He sighed in relief, leaning with one hand against the cold brickwork.

As he turned from washing his hands, his eyes focused on the only photograph in the room. It was carefully stuck on the wall by his bed, pride of place.

The three of them stood in the yard outside the Oakdale house. It was a beautiful summer's day and Lily had that soft smile on her face. The one Damian loved which she only ever wore around Luke. Her "proud smile" as Damian had always referred to it.

Damian had one arm wrapped around Lily's neck, possessively gripping her opposite shoulder, while his other arm was around Luke. Luke smiled that cheeky grin.

"My family," Damian thought, "as we should always have been."

He felt that familiar pang of regret for the years he'd lost with his son, and for the mistakes he'd made. Mistakes that meant he was now forever more cursed with being an outsider to Luke's life.

And as if his son didn't already hate him enough, this had to happen! Now Damian had to add drug dealing to his list of crimes.

Making sure the prison guard for Ward D was at least ten minutes away from passing on his rounds; Damian pulled out a loose brick from the wall to retrieve the cell phone he had hidden away in there.

Just another of the perks to having the right connections and enough ready cash.

He pressed the speed dial and waited for an answer.

"This is Damian Grimaldi." He told the person who answered. "I wish to speak with my uncle."

"I'm sorry." Came the reply, "Mr. Grimaldi cannot be disturbed during his brandy and cigar hour. If you like, you can-."

"I will not bloody call back later! Do you know who this is?"

"Yes Sir." the nervous voice answered. "I am terribly sorry, Sir. But Mr. Grimaldi is quite clear on this issue."

Damian drew a deep breath.

"Unless you want to find yourself dead in a ditch somewhere, I suggest you do as I say and get my uncle on the phone!"

There was a marked silence.

"SUBITO!"

That was all it took. Damian heard the running of footsteps; a door open and his uncle's angry voice swearing any number of threats in Italian at his poor assistant.

But eventually his uncle relented and took the call.

"Da-da!"

Damian cringed. God, he hated being called that!

"What a pleasure to hear from you, son."

"Hello, Uncle." Damian replied, matching Anton's fake cordiality.

"To what do I owe this great pleasure?"

"I'm calling to ask an important question, Uncle."

"Of course, anything."

Damian could hear the distinct tinkle of ice in a glass as it was swirled around in his uncle's hand.

"When exactly did the Grimaldi's turn to drug smuggling? And, before you answer that, why was this instruction undertaken without my knowledge or consent?"

"I am head of this family, Damian. Sometimes you forget that." Then Anton softened, "Come now Da-da. These are tough times we are in. There is a recession! Didn't your father ever teach you anything? Adapt or die!"

"Even at the expense of innocent children?"

"The strong have always survived on the blood of the weak. Since time immemorial…"

Damian breathed deeply and then flinched slightly at the realisation that there was a time he would have agreed.

But that was a long, long time ago and so much had happened in his life since then. Beliefs such as those had lost him not only Lily, the love of his life, but now Luke as well.

It was Lily who had taught him the art of true love, but it was his son who helped him see the human damage his actions could cause.

"Prison has softened you Damian."

"We will no longer be shipping heroin into the U.S." Damian said simply, ignoring Anton's attempt to insult him.

"I would watch my tone if I were you." His uncle answered coolly. "If I say we are importing heroin then we are importing heroin. Lo sono il boss! Understood?"

"Not with my ships you are not."

"What?"

"I am being quite clear, Uncle. Grimaldi Shipping is my company, and I will have every last cavity of every one of my ships checked before they hit the port."

"You dare to stand-"Anton began but was promptly interrupted.

"Luciano was attacked two days ago by your thugs."

"That is impossible."

"Yet it is the truth."

"I tell you it cannot be!" Anton insisted. "Anyone working for me has express instructions on that matter. Your son has always been protected Da-da. As a Grimaldi heir! As is right! You know that! Or have you forgotten all the men killed defending Luciano only a few months ago?"

"I have not forgotten. But somebody has made a grave mistake, and I would like whoever it was punished and removed."

Before Anton could reply, the sound of footsteps forced Damian to end the call and quickly return the phone to it's hiding place.

"Officer…" he cordially greeted as the guard walked past his cell.

Damian sat on the bed. His son's wishes would be fulfilled.

But Luke would never know the truth about Anton.

Damian's son was impulsive. Maybe even more impetuous than he, if that was even possible.

If Luke knew the truth, he would head straight on the warpath to Anton's door.

And nephew or not… heir or not… Anton would kill Luke if pushed too far.

Yes, Damian would take the blame for the smuggling. After all, what difference did it make? Luke was never going to forgive him anyway.

As he ran a finger down Luke's form in the photograph on his wall, Damian accepted this as the ultimate truth.

...

Nicholas loved to be on Grandma Emma's farm. Mostly because that was where Ethan was too; and they could run and talk to the horses and pick wild flowers and go without shoes.

Emma would gather them around the kitchen table for meals and say, "Eat up boys! You want to grow big and strong like Luke and Noah, don't you?"

Now he ran barefoot after Ethan through the field and splashed across the shallow stream to the other side. He promptly began picking spring wildflowers and bundling them together in a bunch, perhaps to hand triumphantly to Lily later.

Ethan wondered around the meadow, occasionally finding a bug of interest and gently tweezing it between his fingers before dropping it into his glass jam jar. He liked to lift the jar up to examine the small beasts from below.

Nicholas was like a wild child on the farm, running here and there with Ethan.

He was nothing like that shy boy they had first brought to the farm; the one that refused to leave their side or talk to anybody… least of all Ethan.

This version was prone to the usual scrapes and bruises and occasional stunning collisions with open doors; lumps on the forehead and cut fingers, as any other normal boy child.

And it felt wonderful, Noah thought. Even if Nicholas still felt the need once in a while to hide food, or withhold speech from strangers, it didn't matter. This version of Nicholas proved that. He was their greatest success.

"Awesome!" he heard Nicholas exclaim loudly, exotic blue eyes glinting as he studied the contents of Ethan's jar.

A jolt like lightning hit Noah then.

"That's what Josh says." Nicholas told Ethan. "When something's cool, then you say awesome!"

"Awesome!" Ethan copied.

As he was instantly reminded of the child they couldn't save, Noah sniffed and hid a shudder from Luke.

They sat on a blanket in the shade of an old oak tree. Luke was watching Mia as she balanced along a dead log, jumping off the end and running around it to climb back up and start again.

But as the depth of Noah's emotion once again rattled that iron box inside, Luke immediately turned to him, looking at him with an expression of such worry that guilt gripped at Noah.

So now it was pain and guilt he forced at bay.

"Okay?" Luke asked, sweetly rubbing his arm. "You look pale."

Holden was nearby, stooped low, working on repairing the wiring of the perimeter fence. But at Luke's question his head turned and he caught Noah's gaze as it drifted from Luke's.

Holden stopped working and stood.

Noah wanted to look away, but it was as though Holden had an invisible hold over him. Every time he managed to avert his eyes, they would snap back to Holden's.

It was the deep warmth; the kindness and concern that emanated from the older man that was breaking Noah in two.

Noah could feel a screw turning inside, the lock on his iron box cracking.

Everything whooshed toward him; trees, grass, sky, faces, water; as though the world were turning in on itself and Noah was the epicentre swallowing it all. He felt sick and was wrapped within this strange, yet strong, urge to get up.

So he did. He stood and took a few steps.

It was a mistake.

He was asleep. A warm, deep and wonderful sleep.

"Noah?"

He was having the strangest dream that he lay in a field of buttercups.

"Baby?"

Luke's voice near his ear.

"Noah, Baby, wake up."

"Ha?" he asked, confused.

"Noah, you passed out."

His vision cleared and the blur of colours merged into Luke's apprehensive face. Noah lifted a hand to Luke's head.

"I'm fine." Noah told him. "I'm okay."

He sat up and looked into the six shocked eyes of their children, all standing in a row and staring at him. Noah smiled reassuringly at them all.

"Sorry." He said again.

"How're you feeling, son?" Holden asked and Noah turned his head to find his father-in-law on the other side of him.

"Really guys!" Noah insisted. "I don't know what happened. I just got really dizzy there for a moment. But I feel okay, now."

"Let's get you back on the blanket." Luke suggested.

Noah allowed them to help him to the blanket and he sat back down, looking up at the canopy of leaves.

"Here." Holden passed him a water bottle and Noah took a grateful few swigs.

"Thanks." He said when he was done.

He looked up at Luke's troubled expression and smiled. "Luke… please… I'm fine."

Luke nodded.

"Listen guys." Holden said then. "I've been thinking. It's been years since I had a proper vacation."

"What are you saying?" asked Luke.

But Noah already knew what the older man was about to say. Holden was looking right at him again.

"I'm coming back to L.A. with you guys. I think you could use my help with the kids and I could use a break from the farm."

"Wow, Dad, are you sure?" Luke asked. "Because you don't have to, you know? We can manage."

"I want to."

"Who's going to run things around here then?" Luke asked.

"Well, I've been training Hank Butcher's son up and I think it would be okay to leave the farm in Pip's hands. It will be a good learning experience for him."

All the while that Holden spoke to Luke his eyes never once left Noah.

Noah bit down on his bottom lip. He had to admit that he feared Holden's presence in L.A. just as much as he was glad to have it.

"It'll be great to have you around, Dad." Luke smiled. "Won't it, Bubby?"

Noah nodded as he swallowed a large lump in his throat.

...

This is a bit of a transitional chapter…

Thanks to all those who've e-mailed to let me know you are enjoying this... it means a lot!