As the heat from the sex dissipated the kitchen tiles began to feel cold on their skin, so they manoeuvred as much of their clothing under themselves as possible; neither ready to part bodies just yet.

Noah stretched his arm right under Luke's neck and around his back to cup his right shoulder while his other hand caressed smoothly up and down Luke's arm, keeping him warm.

He turned his head and buried his face into Luke's hair, sniffing deeply.

"Your hair smells so good. Last year I started using your brand of shampoo… Did I tell you that?"

"No."

"I saw it in the store and…" he didn't need to finish.

Luke bent his neck to study Noah's profile as the blue gaze fell intently on him. He noted how the lines of grief that had been so long etched into his brow had faded; at least a little.

Over the past few weeks, whenever Luke had seen those lines, he'd hid an overwhelming desire to place his palm over them and smooth them over. As though the act might somehow, magically, erase Noah's hurt altogether.

"Your skin looks smoother."

"Yeah?"

"And your eyes are clear."

"They weren't before?"

Luke shook his head. "They haven't been for a while."

Noah kissed Luke's temple.

"You look so much better," Luke continued, "now that you got all that shit out."

"I feel better."

"Good."

"I know I've said it before but, your Dad's amazing."

Still tracing patterns over the contours of Noah's face, Luke searched his eyes, "Do you think… maybe… someday you'll be able to tell me some of the things you told him?"

Noah broke the eye contact blinking a few times and staring up at the ceiling. He brought his left arm up to rest wrist-up across his forehead.

As he considered Luke's question, Luke reached up with his hand to meet Noah's extended fingers in a gentle tickle of digits.

"Truthfully," Noah said equably from under his arm, "Some of the things I feel… it's like…"

Luke could sense Noah growing impatient with himself when the words refused to formulate.

"It's okay, Bubby. Take your time."

"I wish so much I could tell you…" again the words fell away in a frustrated sigh.

Noah laid his hot cheek against the roughness of Luke's stubble; left to grow out after the crazy morning they'd had.

"I want to tell you everything, Luke. I want you to know everything that's going on in my head."

"But Noah I DO know..." Luke shifted up on his elbow, moved Noah's arm from his face so that he could focus down on him, "You forget that I know all your tricks. I know well how you hide behind this mask of calmness. But it doesn't work with me. You can't protect me that way because I already know everything you're thinking."

Noah nodded.

"And for a while… I mean since I've been in L.A., since we got back together, you've been so much better at talking to me. Why not this time?"

Noah stroked one finger down Luke's cheek.

"Because this time..." he took a deep breath, "…you were in so much pain. The way I feel about you… the depth of what I feel for you… sometimes I can't find my voice to speak. It get's all chocked up inside. This time it wasn't just my feelings to come out… your feelings were involved too. And it's my job to take away your pain not add to it."

Luke rested his cheek on Noah's chest, fingers running through the hairs there. He linked their hands and kissed Noah lightly on his knuckles.

"Maybe you can start with just one thing. And we can deal with the issues one by one… But you do need to tell me when you're sad in future. I don't want to ever again see you go through anything like what I witnessed this morning. The way you bottled everything up hurt worse and scared me more than anything you could ever tell me."

"I know… I'm sorry…"

"And the chair was pretty badly hurt too."

There was a pause before both men burst out laughing; Noah thinking how only Luke could find a way to joke in such a moment. He squeezed the man tightly and kissed him once more. They settled back down into each other's arms and lay there in silence for a while.

Eventually Noah said, "Most of that was fear…"

"Fear?"

"Yeah… that… I guess that I might be losing this." He indicated at the room but Luke knew what he meant. "My whole life, I've only ever been happy when I'm with you. So I fear the happiness sometimes, because I already know what it means to lose it…"

"I think we've been doing a pretty good job of staying together." Luke smiled.

"Yes, we have."

"And, as it turns out… we have two less things to worry about now."

"Yes." Noah laughed, the realisation hitting him then too. "What a day, hey?"

Luke rolled over him and pressed his lips hard into Noah's. When he came back up Noah was smiling comfortably at him and Luke shook his head, grinning.

"What?" Noah beamed.

"You're awesome!"

Noah laughed deeply at Luke's use of Josh's favourite word, "They're ours, Luke."

Luke nodded.

"We get to keep them both!"

Again Luke nodded, unable to stop smiling either.

Whatever the expected disasters and alarms of the day's events, like all good stories it had at least had a happy ending. Noah was more content than Luke had seen him in weeks, they were closer than ever, and the children were theirs. At least for the time being.

...

There had been many nights like this since Holden returned with the boys to their home in Los Angeles. Always a night owl, Holden would read his novel into the early morning until thirsty, he'd take a quick stroll to the kitchen.

Almost every time he would find his son-in-law sitting alone at the breakfast bar, staring at the coffee mug in his hands.

It was this mantle of sadness that hung like a misty fog over the boy that had convinced Holden he would be needed. Whatever the emotions this kid was holding inside, he would never burden Luke with them. He needed somebody who could stand aloof from the situation of Josh's death.

Noah's eyes were shadowed with exhaustion and strain; his mouth set in a grim line. As a father, Holden's heart ached for him.

He knew it was only a matter of time before Noah snapped. He just had to wait him out.

But after their return to Los Angeles, Noah estranged himself from Holden, remaining cautious and reserved; exchanging only the occasional small talk or polite necessities.

Holden knew Noah sensed his reason for being there. The boy was afraid; terrified of the storm raging within him; frightened to reveal it to anybody and feeling weaker by the day; less and less able to hold it together.

So two nights after Noah's breakdown and the discovery that the boys would be able to keep both Nicholas and Mia, when he thought things had finally improved for Noah, Holden was surprised to find the boy in the process of brewing a pot of coffee.

"Hey? Can't sleep?"

Noah turned; eyes twinkling; a genuine smile playing on his lips, "I was sleeping just great until Nicky decided to craw into the bed. He shifted me over so much I fell out!"

Holden laughed, "Ah yes! I remember those days!"

"Anyway, I'm awake now so I thought I'd have a cup. Would you like one too… Dad?"

Holden must have worn a look of utmost surprise on his face, because Noah rewarded him with a shy lopsided grin that made Holden want to grab the kid in a tight bear hug.

But he knew Noah better than that. So instead, his heart warmed totally through, Holden stepped forward to give the kid an affectionate pat of approval on his shoulder.

"I would love a cup… son."

They smiled wetly at each other for a moment until Noah cleared his throat and turned to continue making the coffee.

"So," Noah asked, "how much longer to you plan to visit with us here?"

He turned back to Holden, who had since settled himself on a stool.

"Not that I'm in any hurry to see you go." Noah finished.

Still overwhelmed with emotion from Noah's declaration, Holden had to wait a moment before he could find a steady voice.

"Well, I think I'm satisfied that you boys can take things from here, so most likely in a day or two. I'm really missing Lily and the kids. But it's been worth it to see you both looking happy again."

Noah nodded, "Yeah. It's been one hell of a tough ride, this one. I'm… I just… thank you. For being here…"

"That's what Dad's are for."

...

"Oh my God! Are you really THAT stupid? I mean it's like somebody said it was chilly outside and you brought a bowl!"

Are your parents siblings? Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you'd only had enough oxygen at birth?"

As Jenna insulted her lasted work experience student, Luke found himself grinning at her and enjoying the spectacle. Even though his usual instinct screamed at him to step in and rescue the poor kid.

"Go!" she yelled at the guy, "I haven't got all day! And do it right next time!"

Once her trembling victim had departed, Luke watched as Jenna read over the article the young student had given her and saw a slight curl on the side of her mouth.

"Not bad." She said to herself. "He's getting better…"

For the first time she glanced up to notice Luke grinning at her.

"What?"

Luke shook his head. "Nothing."

"If it's nothing then why do you have that brainless smirk on your face?"

Luke leaned back in his chair.

"It's just… I really like you Jenna."

If it were possible for Jenna to look shocked, that was the reaction Luke's words elicited.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I like you."

"Shut up!"

"What?" Luke laughed, "It's true."

"Yeah, well I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"Can't help it, I'm afraid." An entertained Luke told her, "I've totally worked you out."

"You have, ha? Do enlighten me with your wisdom oh great one…"

"Your cynicism and social ineptitude is just a tool you use to hide the truth…"

"Oh really, and what is the truth?"

"That deep down, under all those insults, you really care… a lot…"

Luke took great pleasure from the flash of insecurity that statement awarded him. But he didn't get to hear her reply because at just that moment her phone rang. She picked it up with such force that it almost went flying but she managed to catch it mid-air.

"Hello?"

She swivelled in her chair so she could turn her back to Luke, who still sat smiling knowingly at her.

With that moment of entertainment over, Luke picked up his own cell to dial Noah.

"Hey!" came Noah's easy answer in Luke's ear. "I was just thinking about you!"

"Hi, Baby. Thought I'd check in before I head out for some lunch. Have you finished with those sound bites you were working on? I know they were giving you a bit of a headache."

"Yip, all done. I really want to see you right now."

"Me too."

"You do?"

"Yes of course! I always want to see you, you know that!"

"Well good, because… look up…"

Confused Luke glanced upward and spotted Noah making his precarious way through the long and very busy newsroom.

As always when he saw Noah unexpectedly Luke had to draw breath at his beauty. His height was physically impressive and perfectly accented by a narrow waist and broad shoulders; sculptured muscles. Noah always looked better in person than in Luke's head.

People always stopped to watch him walk by in the street, in shopping malls and even here, in Luke's office. Both men and women couldn't fail to notice him. And what made this even sexier to Luke, was how Noah wasn't even aware of it.

Noah dropped the phone from his ear and grinned from ear to ear as soon as Luke's eyes found his.

This astounding man was all his!

Luke stood to walk over and meet Noah part of the way.

"Hello!" Luke laughed as he was swept up in Noah's eager arms.

"Okay if I take my handsome Hubby out for a bite to eat?"

"Well," Luke pretended, "I don't know… I'm real busy with this deadline and all…"

Noah punched his shoulder.

"Bastard!"

"Ouch!" Luke laughed. "Of cause I want to have lunch with you, Bozo!"

Noah kissed him as they giggled together.

"Excuse me!" Jenna interrupted walking over. "This is a place of work. Not a couple's shin-ding!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Luke sang.

"Noah!" They all turned to find Jarvis making his way over.

"Hello, Jarvis." Noah shook the man's hand and then turned serious. "Look, I'm really sorry about the other day…"

"Oh, don't mention it my boy!" Jarvis exclaimed, "From what I heard you had every reason to be worried. I'm sorry that Luke was put in such a precarious position."

"Actually Luke has a habit of putting himself in those positions, isn't that right?"

Noah flicked a finger at Luke's neck.

"Hey!" Luke moaned; hand coming up to cover the sore spot. "Stop hitting me!"

"You can rest assured that Luke and I have had a very lengthy and stern discussion on this topic." Jarvis said. "He won't be doing anything so reckless again!"

Noah shook his head. "I mean no disrespect, but if I can't get him to stop being 'so reckless', then what hope do you have?"

"That's why you should leave the job to the experts." Jenna piped in, holding out a sheet of paper for Luke. "Here. That was my source on the phone. He's picked up some info on your drug situation. Seems the heroin supply is drying up. Your uncle has had to pull out."

Luke took the page from her frowning. "You mean my father?"

"Damian is already in prison. He wouldn't start drug running now! He's smart. You of all people should know that."

Luke read a few lines from her notes. "You're saying Damian isn't behind the heroin smuggling?"

"That's what I said! Don't you listen? It's all Anton's gig. Word is Damian reported the heroin running to the authorities to make sure they check his ships before they sail into port. Anton is one pissed off bunny at the moment!"

Luke looked up at Noah. "Why would Damian let me believe he was behind it all?"

Noah smiled. "Because he knows you like I do."

"Ha?"

"He knew you'd storm off to confront Anton. So he dealt with it himself. He was protecting you."

Luke shook his head as the realisation set in. "Fuck if I'll ever understand that man."

"Well in this case I understand him perfectly. He wanted to keep this," Noah took Luke protectively into his arms, "precious body safe! Same as me!"

"So now you can finish up your story without getting yourself killed. That's how real reporters work, Mr. Snyder!" Jenna said. "You'll have to do better if you want to be a serious journalist like me."

Before Luke could thank her for her contribution or comment on her disdain, she had left them and returned to her computer screen.

No wanting this new development involving his father to influence the great mood he was in, Luke chuckled. "Come on gorgeous! You promised me lunch!"

...

There was a patch of yellow long grass just below the site of Josh's grave which had been left to grow wild and attract butterflies and birds. A light breeze blew peacefully through the strands, making them wave and roll prettily back and forth.

Noah sat on a green gingham blanket, watching Kevin, Nicholas and Mia playing with a skipping rope on the nearby tarred cal-de-sac. Kevin held one end, while Nicholas held the other, and Mia had a good go of jumping over the rope between them. Noah thought she was quite good at it for her age.

Nicholas laughed as he sang, "Shimmy shimmy, coco pop, shimmy shimmy, pow!"

Noah wasn't sure, but he thought it must have been Jasmine who taught them the skipping song.

The picnic had been such a good idea. They had packed drinks, sandwiches and cakes in a hamper and set out with the kids to spend time together in the one place where they could feel close to Josh.

Slowly, day by day, they were all coming to terms with Josh's death; an event that had shook them like no other and still caused Noah to jerk in shock sometimes.

The almost debilitating pain in his heart was now reduced to a dull thump when he thought of Josh. And when he remembered the boy now, it wasn't that moment of finding him in the bed, but rather his smile and sense of humour that Noah thought about.

Luke also seemed much recovered from the event. He cried less now and smiled a whole lot more. And it had become easier to talk about the loss together; easier to enjoy moments like these. So a picnic in a graveyard seemed natural and good and felt right.

The late afternoon son shone down on them warmly, but not too hot and Noah enjoyed a few moments eating the occasional strawberry.

He smiled affectionately at Luke who stood up the hill by the side of Josh's grave, lightly running his fingers over the granite tombstone as he conversed silently with the boy.

As his teeth cut the last strawberry in half, Noah rubbed his thumb across his lower lip, catching the red juices that threatened to dribble down his chin and spoil his white t-shirt.

Quickly wiping his hands on a strip of paper towel, Noah hopped up and made his way toward Luke. He was halfway up the steep incline when a certain plot caught his eye and brought him to a stop.

It was a double grave with two identical stones; the kind married couples usually selected so they could be laid to rest together, forever.

But it wasn't the shared grave that had caught Noah's attention so much as the inscriptions.

He jumped slightly when Luke's hand ran suddenly down his back.

"Sorry." Luke smiled. "You were really deep in thought. What's up?"

Noah smiled back. "Look at this. One stone says Friends in life, while the other says Friends in death."

The name on one grave read Brock Evans, 4 June 1911 – 18 January 2006. There was nothing unusual about that, except for the fact that the name on the twin tomb read Randy Pearce.

Luke's arms wrapped around Noah and he felt the warmth of Luke's cheek press into his back.

"Do you think…?" Noah asked.

"Well, it makes sense doesn't it? A shared grave and everything… They would have been in their prime during the late thirties, early forties, I guess. Not an easy time to be a committed gay couple."

"No." Noah whispered softly, turning to pull Luke into a one armed hug, his eyes remaining fixed on the double grave. "Do you think they loved each other as much as we do?"

"I like to think so, yes." Luke gripped Noah tightly around his waist, head resting on his shoulder.

"We're blessed really, aren't we?" Noah observed, "You know how hard it was for the both of us to admit who we really are to the world. But at least in this day and age we have the freedom to be married and build a family together. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for Brock and Randy; not even free to hold hands when they walked down the street?"

"I know."

"I can't even imagine being around you for one second and not being able to touch you."

"And there are still guys and girls in other parts of the world, hell, even in parts of THIS country, who can't admit they're gay for fear of reprisals."

"Randy died in 2005, just a few months before Brock." Noah continued, "I wonder how long they were together for."

"I hope that they were together for as long as we're gonna be…" Luke said, wrapping his arms around Noah's neck.

As Noah replied with his standard response, a kiss already in motion, he couldn't have known that by the end of that very same month, Luke would have vanished.

"Same here."

...

Please comment on this chapter and/or on the story as a whole! I'm really grateful for all the support I received on this one! It's been incredible! Thank you!