Characters included: Kai, Nya, Pixal, Venom [OC, Jay, Lloyd, Dareth, a weird plant thing
Words: 4000 words... jesus
Warnings: Contains hints at OC x canon. Also there might be some injunvile humor, sorry
Notes: Jay and Lloyd are step-brothers in this au for reasons. Nya is 3 years older than Kai [He's 13, she's 16]. Pixal goes by Pix. Nya is a huge jerk in this, oops. This is hella messy, uh—
2020 Notes: Please note that this oneshot/rewrite is bit old now. Definitely not my finest work, but it's decent enough for me to look at it, ask myself "what the hell?", then post it. This... thing, and the next chapter are gonna be the oldest things in here, since I haven't written anything else for this AU yet besides a bunch of notes. Everything after that is gonna be new though. I'll update whenever I can/have the inspiration/I'm bored so updates could be frequent or scattered. We'll just have to wait and see.
Now with that of the way, feel free to enjoy this trainwreck.
••••••••
"Yo! Salad Dareth here! I'm here to tell you guys about my new Salad Barn location!"
A thing of static could be heard before the commercial on the screen changed scenery.
"It's wicked vegan! Grand opening tomorrow night!", Dareth exclaims to the camera as a female in the background screams and runs off, dropping a plate.
The screen cuts off, as Jay and Lloyd look at each other with smug smiles on their faces.
"Heeyyyy, Jay?"
"Yea, Lloyd?"
"You know who's gonna be at that new opening?"
"Why yes, I do-"
The two step-brothers run off before they suddenly come back wearing cheese costumes; smiling like idiots. Venom watches from the background and sighs quietly in exasperation.
"-Not us! Cause it's-" "CHEESEFEST!" Jay and Lloyd both state happily, just as Kai comes in, opening the garage door.
"Hey, hey, Cheeseheads! You can put your curds away, because we're playing the grand opening of Salad Dareth's all night! What could be better than that?" Kai asks happily, making Jay's and Lloyd's faces of joy both disappear.
They both rush over to the brown-haired rocker, getting up in his face.
"Cheeeeese?" Jay asks, grabbing ahold of Kai's shirts.
"Cheesy-cheese, cheese, cheese?" Lloyd adds onto that, standing a bit over Jay.
"Uhm, cooking up a tasty new tune with a side order of lyrics?" Venom raises an eyebrow.
Kai rushes over to where Venom was standing, smiling widely.
"If you mean by that, that Ninjband is going- veeggaaan! Then, yes."
"Uhm, actually, a-"
Kai interrupts her before she can say anything more, "Vegan bands haven't been getting the street cred that they deserve! And Ninjband is going to change some -if not, all- of that!"
Venom simply squints over at him in disbelief, not believing what she was heading. A small sigh escaped her mouth before she shakes her head.
Suddenly, a loud "bang!" filled the garage; the door upstairs opening up to reveal Nya, and her "best friend", Pix. The older teen walks over to Kai and Venom, glaring hatefully at the two of them. She scoffs rather bitterly.
"'Street cred'? More like 'street crud', BAM!"
"Bam indeed." Pix replies, matter-of-factly.
"Alright, listen up, Frojband-"
Nya gives the band one more glare, before walking over and opening the fridge.
"I'm leaving my science project in the garage, because it's like you: gross and junk. If you worms touch this thing, and it's not handinable for a major A-super-plus, yOU'RE ALL MULCH! Got it?" She explains while sashaying over to where Kai, Venom, and Pixal are standing.
Venom glares dangerously at Nya and hisses, her hair spiking up a bit at the tips.
They both walk out of the garage, with the younger teen glancing back at the band. "Uh, I suggest you get it."
Kai watches as his sister and her lackey leave, before rolling his eyes. He turns to back his band, a smile on his face.
"Okay gang!", he begins with an energetic tone in his voice, "If we're going to rock this gig tomorrow at Dareth's, we're going to have to practice our whole set list-"
"-it might take all night.", he adds on ominously, before suddenly pulling out a covered up plate behind his back.
"But first! I figured we would celebrate our new vegan life style with some grilled cheese sandwiches!"
Kai uncovers the plate in his hand to reveal a good stack of sandwiches, which Jay and Lloyd look at with wide smiles and eyes.
"Cheeeeeese...", was the only thing that came out of their mouths before they dug in.
Venom stood by the stage and watched them go crazy over the sandwiches. She shook her head as they started singing about them and doing various other things with them.
"Grilled cheese sammie
When you can hammie
Suck em' down, by the kilogrammie
Cheese, cheese, yeah!
Cheese, cheese, yeah!
Cheese, cheese, yeah!"
After they had their fun with the sandwiches, Kai, Jay, and Lloyd all sat on the couch; full. Happy, smug looks were painted on their faces as three loud raspberry sounding noises came out of nowhere, and a smell of digested cheese as well.
Venom fans the front of her nose while groaning in annoyance. She walks up near the boys, shaking her head.
"That was awesome, Kai, but vegans DON'T eat cheese.", the cynic explains before pulling down a banner from out of nowhere, proving her point.
The slightly older teen raises an eyebrow slightly before putting his finger on his chin, as if he was thinking.
"They don't? I didn't really research what vegan meant.", he confesses, which gets a facepalm as a response from Venom.
"Anyway, let's rock that practice!"
Various whoops and cheers could be heard from everyone, while they all rushed to the stage.
Once everyone had gotten set up, Kai counted them in.
"1, 2, 3, 4!"
Loud music could be heard as Ninjband began to play their instruments.
Little did they know, however, that Nya's plant inside of the fridge was beginning to grow thanks to the music. A little sprout pokes out of the dirt.
The band practice well up into the night, eventually wrapping up around 12am.
Kai groans tiredly, before yawning some. "Awesome practice, everyone...", he compliments them, only to glance over and seeing that they had all fallen asleep.
He yawns once more before saying, "Good idea..." He falls onto the stage floor with his guitar in his grasp; falling asleep almost immediately.
Suddenly, the fridge door opens; a vine coming out of it. It stretches over in Kai's direction rather ominously, although it just strums down his guitar.
The next morning, a rooster yelled its usual "cockle-doodle-do" as loud rock music could be heard over it.
Kai was asleep on the floor, playing air guitar. "Man, we sound great..."
Lloyd rolls over some, with Jay stuck onto his back. The curly-haired teen woke up to the rock music. A small gasp came out of his throat before he stands up. Soon after, the rest of Ninjband wakes up as well; confused about the music.
Their eyes landed on a giant Venus flytrap thing playing their instruments right in front of them.
"Guys, that's not us!", Jay exclaims, as Kai walks over and looks at the plant weirdly. He glances at Jay over his shoulder, "Jay! Drop some science on me! What's going on?!"
Honestly, the keyboardist had no idea what was going on, but he tried to explain it in the clearest way possible. "Well, I've heard that plants grow more quickly if you play music to them, but I've never heard of a plant playing music to itself!" Jay tells the band, receiving an eyebrow raise in response from everyone.
Suddenly, Nya and Pix arrive through the garage door. A loud gasp came out of the older girl's mouth, as she walked over to the gang. "Gasp! What did you twerps do to my plant?!" She yells before getting a pitchfork from somewhere. "That's it! You're mulch."
Pix gasps and grasps ahold of Nya's arm before she could kill them all right then and there. "Wait, wait, wait! Nya! The project was to make the plant grow!" She tells Nya with a smile, before ducking so she doesn't get knocked out by a pitchfork being thrown to the side.
"So I, like, made science happen?" The raven-haired teen asks happily, before Kai rolls his eyes and cuts in.
"Correction: We made MUSIC happen. And we're totally ready to rock our gig at Salad Dareth's." He smiles smugly at her, giving Jay a fistbump.
Nya raises an eyebrow and smirks at her little brother. His naïveness was adorable. "Oh, you mean that totally lame-o gig that I just ruined for you?"
He looks over at her in confusion, before his phone suddenly goes off.
'What the heck...?'
"Kai! What gives? Somebody just texted me a video of you guys eating grilled cheese sandwiches!" Dareth sounded a bit hurt. "I thought you guys was a vegan band. I dunno, maybe I should find another band..."
THAT got Kai's attention quicker than you could say "broken amp".
"No, wait!"
In a flash, he was over at Salad Dareth's to try and change his mind.
"Ninjband IS vegan! So vegan, we don't even know what the rules are!"
The older male raises an eyebrow, not sure if the kid was telling the truth or not. "Well, I've never heard of that before, because it's crazy, but if you want to keep this gig, you're gonna have to prove you're vegan. You can start by cutting the cheese... out of your act."
Kai smiles, nodding enthusiastically. "Alright! Consider it cut!" He assures him before rushing back to the garage.
"What the heck you'd do that for?!" He tells at Nya first thing, angry that she would do something like this. She simply smirks at him.
"Well, YOU have to stay here and watch my plant, so I don't." Nya explains to him, sashaying with Pix over to the garage door.
"Okay, but, where did you even get a vid of us eating cheese?"
"Pft, who do you think shot your gruddy little 'cheese montage'?" She simply sneers, shutting the door in his face directly afterwards. He blinks once, before realizing:
Ah, that makes sense.
Kai is snapped back to reality once he hears Venom chasing after his sister's plant.
She glares at it hatefully while chasing it around the garage with a freaking pitchfork.
"Oh, I'll take care of her project alright!"
"Wait, stop!" Kai stops her from getting closer to the plant, which was now backed up against Nya's car in fear.
"We've got to prove that we're vegan! What better way than to have a plant in the band?!" He asks everyone, raising an eyebrow with a smile.
She looks at him like he's just lost his mind. "Uh, I dunno about this, Kai-", the hothead mutters out, only to get interrupted with a finger to her lips.
"Aw, c'mon Venom! It heard us play our entire setlist! Show her, Planty!" Kai smiles at the plant, handing it a spare guitar of his.
It turns its head over at his guitar, grabbing it. Then, the plant throws it over its vines, bringing out more natural instruments for the band to play.
"You don't need no manufactured sounds..." It says while it gives everyone a new instrument of sorts. "Music is a thing that should flow naturally." Planty explains, its voice sounding deep and calming.
The spiky-haired rocker beamed, twirling around his rainstick. "Wow, thanks." Then the realization hits him. "Wait, and yOU CAN TALK?!"
Planty smiles at him. "Not only can I talk, friend, but I can show you and your band the natural ways of the vegans."
Of course, that got Kai's attention.
Venom skepically looks at her pipes, while Jay shakes his conch shell a bit. Something about this whole thing just seemed... a bit off.
"Kai, are you SURE this is a good idea?"
"Not a good idea, Venom, a wicked-awesome idea! That rules. As a matter of factual, we should all go natural!"
Kai twirls his rainstick around once, before a pair of pants suddenly hit him square in the face. (Somewhat maniacal) laughter could be heard as Lloyd literally runs out of the garage, wearing nothing but his boxers.
Needless to say, the rest of the band probably wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.
Planty clears its throat impatiently, bored after only a few seconds of silence. "Shall we begin the training?"
Again, this got Kai's attention.
"C'mon guys! New clothes, new food, new state of mind! Let's veganize Ninjband!"
Venom and Jay look at each other skeptically before walking off, leaving Kai and the plant in tow.
The brown-haired guitarist whistles as he begins to follow behind them, only he ends up getting pulled back by a bunch of vines around his neck. He screams, and before you know it, he's held down on the floor, constricted with vines.
Then, the realization dawns on him once more. "Ohhhh, we're in whole lot of trouble, aren't we?"
Planty just chuckles evilly, shaking his 'head'.
"You have no idea..."
The plant's flower opens up, spraying a bunch of green pollen at Kai's face.
The cloud clears, leaving him lying there on the floor. His now green-and-white eyes begin spiralling as a wide grin makes its way onto his face.
Oh god...
For the next few hours, Kai and Planty drags the band around all over New Ninjago City, getting whatever they would need to help them become a vegan band.
First off, they went to the supermarket for a bit, getting food n other junk. Lloyd and Jay tried to go off into the meat section for a bit, only to get caught by Planty, who ended up dragging them to the vegetable isle. While they walked, Venom gets a bit jealous as soon as she sees that Planty has a vine across Kai's shoulder.
After the hellish trip to the store, they go to the clothes store, where Planty buys them all artificial clothes. Venom groans as her outfit is too itchy on her, causing her to scratch. Jay's pants won't stop falling down, and Lloyd's are just... a bit too tight, causing them discomfort regardless. Kai simply smiles and stares off into space while the plant wipes off his face a bit. Everyone gives each other a worried look before they turn their attention to their bandleader.
Their final stop was the park, where they would all do some stretches and yoga exercises. Lloyd bends over and cracks his spine a bit, accidentally falling on Jay afterwards. A startled and pained yelp escaped the older stepbrother's mouth, as he tried to get out from underneath Lloyd.
Venom gets caught and locked in a really painful tangle. She tries to move around a bit in order to free herself, before giving up and glancing over to Kai. Somehow, he was floating up in the air, gaining six arms as he became a yoga god of sorts. The band looked at each other in disbelief for the ninth time that day. What the heck was going on with him?
After a few more hours of hell at the park, everyone finally made it back to the garage. The remaining three members looked inside nervously. They didn't trust Planty in the slightest. Plus, if they were being honest, seeing Kai THIS calm and collected was kinda... horrifying.
They looked inside to see him sitting in a bean bag chair. His eyes were closed as he snapped in beat with a tambourine Planty was playing. He smiles softly.
Jay moves back away his head first, then followed by Venom and Lloyd. "What gives?" Lloyd asks, folding his arms angrily. "It's like Kai is into that plant's sound more than our own!"
His brother nods. He places a finger on his chin, as if in thought. "Yeah! Ever since that demonic plant showed up, Kai and Ninjband have been growing further and further apart!" The others nod their heads in agreement. He made a good point.
As if on cue, Kai comes floating out of nowhere. "Hello, friends~" He greets them with a content smile, standing up. The only response he ends up getting are screams from his friends.
"The plant and I have been chatting, and we have a few ideas on how we could "naturalize" Ninjband's sound..." He explains to them, the word "naturalize" putting air quotes. Venom shakes her head, not liking this at all.
"This plant is ruining the band! None of this is us!"
"I know it's a big change... but being vegan means wearing leaves for clothes and never using soap for some reason..."
That lit the fuse. Venom facepalms as she shakes her head. "No! Being vegan is about not eating any meat or dairy products!" She yells at him. Kai frowns.
"Venom! What is it with you and being right all the time?!" He gets all up into her face, glaring at her. "...man." His green-and-white spiralling eyes stare a bit into her soul, making the impact of his words a bit more worse.
Her heart feels like its been ripped out of her chest and shattered into about a thousand pieces. Tears started welling up in her eyes, before she runs off, crying. The stepbrothers look at her worryingly before they decide to check on Kai again.
They look into the garage once more, this time seeing him standing in front of the plant. Planty's trap opens up, spraying the rocker with a cloud of plant pollen. Jay and Lloyd gasp before they look away from the sight.
Jay rushes over to Venom, shaking her a bit. "Venom! It's the plant, man! The plant!" He slaps her across the face gently, making her dazed. "Its got him under some sort of spell." "...Spell?!"
The keyboardist nods, relieved that he finally had her attention. "Yeah! It must be using some sort of hypnotic plant pollen on him..." Venom shakes him by the shoulders a bit. "We need him to sneeze it out!"
Lloyd has a random cat in his arms. "Way ahead of ya!" He rubs Kai's face with the cat before backing up. Venom and Jay walk up beside him, wanting to see if it would work.
Kai twitches around a bit, looking like he's about to sneeze. Suddenly, a loud sneeze could be heard afterwards. A green cloud of plant pollen comes out of his mouth, leaving the rocker dazed and confused. "Ugh, I feel... weird. And what's with the lame-o new age music playing?" He asks. Why was there suddenly music playing?
Jay doesn't say anything and simply turns the rocker's head in Planty's direction. A shocked look was planted (heh) on his face once he saw that it was playing a tambourine.
"Nature plays a role in music!" It tells him, playing multiple instruments. Kai shakes his head.
"Uhhhh, yeah... That's not going to work. This is OUR music? We play it, we're the band." He tells the plant, while his bandmates make a pyramid behind him. This makes Planty angry.
"That's where you're wrong, my friend. The music is MINE. Soon the whole world will listen to my natural ways! They'll all love the new Ninjband!" He growls at them.
Suddenly, it pulls them all away and ties them up while they're screaming.
A little while later, the garage door opens when Nya and Pix arrive to check up on Nya's plant. The older teen gasps, not believing what she was seeing. Walking over, she growls at Kai angrily.
"Where is my plant project?!" Kai winces at her, before an idea came to his head. "I know where he is! But we'll need a riiiiide... and, y'know... some hedge trimmers?" He gestures at the vines he and his friends were tied up in with a small smile. Nya growls.
After getting (rudely) shoved out of a car by Nya, the others arrive at Salad Dareths to see that everyone has already been veganified. New-age music could be heard near the stage. "We're too late! Everyone's already under its spell!" Jay exclaims.
Venom looks over to Kai, worried. "Kai, what do we do?! We need to do something!" Kai smiles at her. "We need to get some fresh lyrics to rock this crowd back to its senses!"
"How do you think we can do that, Kai? How are we going to get Nya to write in her diary now?"
"I've got a crazy plan that just might work!"
Near the stage, Kai opens up a door. "Hey Planty!" He calls to the plant, smiling. "Come in here for absolutely no good reason!"
"No good reason? That's plenty of enough reason for me." It replies, tossing the instruments to the side. The plant heads through the door, only for Kai to shut it behind them.
"One extra large salad! And make it choppy." The rest of the band turns and smirk at him, knives in hands.
"I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I?" The plant asks nervously, getting dragged away by Venom, Jay, and Lloyd.
"You have no idea..." Kai smirks at it, watching the others chop it up. Nya comes in soon after to see what all the noise was about from the outside. She gasps, starting to panic. "My- plant project! I'm going to totally fail!"
Glancing over at her, Kai continues smirking. "No biggie... You'd just have to repeat the course! Of course, you'll be in MY grade, where I'M popular." He tells his older sister, making her invision being in the same grade as her brother.
"Pix!" Nya exclaims, starting to breakdown.
"Yeaaaah, Pix isn't in this grade, remember? She moved on with Hunky Cole Brookstone..." He starts to take some sips from some sods. "Alone..." Another sip. "Without YOU!"
With a scream, Nya launches up into the air, a trail of fire escaping her feet; her eyes red. Screams of what seems to be heavy metal music could be heard in the background as she grabs ahold on her light blue diary, and her blue pen. She begins to angrily write things down, causing the whole kitchen to go haywire. Eventually, once she's done, she calms down and snaps out of it. Her diary escapes her hands before she slowly falls onto the floor, dazed and confused.
With a smile, Kai catches her diary shortly afterwards. Pix arrives into the kitchen afterwards. "I heard you screaming something about me holding hands with Hunky Cole Brookstone. Do you think that could really happen?" She asks Nya happily, only to get a pitcher of water poured onto her head.
On stage, Kai sits crouching down underneath a purple cloth, smiling. "Hello, fellow vegans! We are the REAL Ninjband!" He exclaims triumphantly, standing up and pulling the cloth off of himself.
Cue the music!
All: Yeah, Yeah!
Kai: Ain't gunna get left behind!
Ain't gunna get tossed away!
Ain't gunna wilt on a vine,
are you hearing what we got to say!?
Jay/Lloyd/Venom: Yeah!
Kai: Are you ready for a big sound bite?
Gospel Choir: Yeah!
Kai: Are you working up an appatite?
Salad Dareth: Yeah!
Kai: Are you ready for a fresh new taste?
Cuz we're getting down and we're upping up the pace!!
Venom/Jay/Lloyd: Yeah!
Kai: Are you ready for the main course?
Jay/Venom: Here comes the main course!
Jay/Lloyd/Venom: Yeah!
Kai: Are you ready for a protein source?
Jay/Venom: Protein, source of protein!
Gospel Choir/Jay/Lloyd/Venom: Yeah!
Kai: Cuz' we're serving up what we doooooo-
and we're dishing out way more-ore-ore-oooreee -
Venom: Yeeeaaaaaah!
Kai: Than you can chew!
Everyone, now free from the plant's control, smiles and cheers, throwing roses onto the stage. Kai smiles happily.
"Great job!" Dareth claps as he approaches them after the show. "You guysus really upped you're game with that there encore!" He compliments them. Kai smiles while putting his guitar back in its case.
"Thanks, Dareth, but I gotta admit... We're not reaally a vegan band..." He explains to the owner with a small, nervous smile, his hand on the back of his neck. Dareth's bowtie spins around in shock. "Whaaaaa?!"
Kai smiles at him softly. "But that's okay," He starts to explain, a spotlight suddenly coming onto him. "What really matters is being true to yourself and not changing with the wind or a storm or an evil plant that wants to rule the world."
He looks down dramatically afterwards, causing Dareth to chuckle a bit as he walks walks up. "Ahahaha... Yeah, sure kid."
The rocker looks up to see an excited Venom coming into the main room. "Guys! I just booked us a gig at Chen's Cheese Cottage." She exclaims, much to the excitement of Jay and Lloyd. The two step-brothers smile before rushing off real quick; coming back in the cheese costumes.
"Let's get cheesy!!" The two happily shout. Kai laughs, smiling. "We just did! Thanks for coming out everyone!" He smiles and winks, before closing the garage door.