Tris cried the entire drive between Eric's house and hers. She was glad to see everyone's cars were gone when she got home, because she knew her emotions and her lack of sleep were written all over her puffy, red face.
After letting herself in the house, Tris checked that the garage door was closed and all the doors were locked before she went upstairs to her room. She dropped her bag on the floor, kicked off her shoes, and wiggled out of her jeans. Her phone was nearly dead, so she pulled it out of her purse. As she moved to put it on the charger, she saw that she had three new texts and a missed call from Eric.
E: I don't know what happened last night, but I'm so sorry I scared you like that. I see that George texted you before he took me home.
E: Please talk to me.
E: At least let me know you got home safe.
Tris replied tersely.
T: I'm home.
Eric's response came almost immediately.
E: Can we talk?
E: At least tell me what I did. I don't understand what happened.
Tris shut off her phone and didn't respond.
.
Tris woke in the early afternoon. Natalie was sitting on the edge of her bed, pushing the hair back from her daughter's forehead. "Are you not feeling well?" she asked gently.
"I'm fine," Tris said with a yawn. "I didn't get much sleep last night."
"When did Eric get home?" Natalie asked.
Tris frowned. "George brought him home at like two in the morning. He was drunk off his ass. I couldn't leave Ava when he was like that."
Natalie grew alarmed at the desperate note in Tris' voice and the tears gathering in her eyes. "Did something happen? Did he try anything?" she asked.
Tris shook her head and sighed. "He said some things, and he pawed at me a little, but he didn't hurt me. I got him to go to bed, then I stayed with Ava. I didn't know what to do."
"He pushed for more than you're ready for?" Natalie asked gently.
Tris nodded. "He talked about how he loves me and wants me. When I told him to take his pants off, he told me to do it. Then he called me a… well, a tease. He fell asleep after that, but I didn't know what would happen, so I locked myself in the nursery."
"Was Eric aggressive, or just... amorous?"
"He was practically cuddly," Tris said. "He was grabby and goofy, but he just wouldn't let up."
"I'm guessing he passed out cold after that?" Natalie asked. Tris nodded. "What happened this morning?"
"He didn't remember any of it," Tris said.
"Oh Sweetheart," Natalie said, laying down beside Tris. "Sometimes I see what a good job you're doing with Ava, and I forget how young the two of you are. Eric had too much to drink last night, and I am not happy with him about that. He made a mistake. But I think the two of you can work through this if you want to."
"I just… It's just…" Tris stammered. "I mean…. Obviously Eric has experience, he does have a baby. But it's not just Ava's mom. He's been with a few women. And I have no experience. It terrifies me! What if I disappoint him? What if I'm no good at it or he's disappointed in how I look?"
"Let me tell you something," Natalie said gently. "Sex doesn't hold love together. Sex is fun, and it's an expression of your feelings, but love - real love - isn't dependent on the sex being the best or most frequent in the world. Love comes first; it's the foundation you build your life on as a couple. When you are ready, you will use sex to express that love. It's incredibly beautiful and bonding for a couple that cares about one another."
"But what about the other women?" Tris asked. "Won't he be comparing me to them - this one had bigger boobs, that one had better legs?"
"I hope not," Natalie said. "There are guys like that out there. They use sex for the physical release and collect women like baseball cards or something. But not all guys are like that. Eric has a few women in his past, but from what I can see he only wants one woman in his future."
"Thanks Mom," Tris said with a sigh.
.
The doorbell rang, and Eric hurried to answer before his visitor rang again and woke Ava. She had been crabby all morning, no doubt feeling the tension after Tris' abrupt and angry departure.
As Eric opened the front door and was greeted by a fist to the face. "What the…" he stammered as he took a step back.
"What did you do to my sister?" asked the enraged visitor.
"Caleb?" Eric asked. "Did you seriously just hit me? What the hell?"
"You tell me what the hell, Asshole!" Caleb shouted. "I got home from work and Mom and Tris are shut in her room talking about you coming home drunk, pawing at her, and calling her names!"
Eric swore. "Stop yelling," he told Caleb. "I know I deserve it, but you'll wake Ava. Now come in here and tell me everything you heard. I went out with the other trainers last night for Max's birthday and we did tequila shots. I don't remember a lot of it, but I woke up this morning with a nasty hangover and a pissed off girlfriend who won't talk to me."
"Based on what I heard, I think you mean a pissed off ex-girlfriend," Caleb snarled.
Eric swore again. "What the hell did I do?!"
Caleb told Eric what he had heard his mom and Tris say to one another. He had walked upstairs as Tris was explaining that Eric came home drunk. Caleb had been alarmed by both their words and their tones as he listened to his sister talk about Eric "saying stuff," "pawing" at her, and telling her to take his pants off.
"Mom asked if you were aggressive when you got amorous - her word, not mine. That's when I had enough. What the hell, man? I thought you loved her!"
"I do!" Eric said desperately.
"Then your version of love is fucked up," Caleb said. "Love doesn't come home drunk and get rough. God, I hope she isn't pregnant or something."
"She isn't. We haven't…"
"Are you sure?" Caleb said. "You said you don't remember anything. I heard my mom and sister. You 'got amorous,' you passed out, and my sister locked herself in the nursery because she was scared, but she couldn't leave Ava."
Eric dropped onto the couch and scrubbed his hands over his face. His left eye was throbbing where Caleb hit him, and his head was still aching. But none of it hurt like his heart.
What have I done?
.
Tris' phone rang again in the afternoon. Assuming it was Eric, she moved to reject the call, but it was Matthew's name on the screen.
"Hello?" she said.
"Tris, it's Matthew. Did you get my message?"
"I did," she replied. "I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you. I haven't... haven't been feeling well, so Eric and I haven't talked about the interview."
"Well," the campaign manager said, "I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm afraid I need an answer. The magazine comes out on Thursday, and that gives us just four days to tape the piece for the news. I just need to know what day you're available to film."
"That's not a lot of notice," Tris said. "I'm available Wednesday after three if they'll do it with just me."
"I can probably make that work, but I'm sure they'll want Ava, too," Matthew pressed.
"They have the magazine's pictures," Tris said. "You'll have to talk to Eric about Ava, though; I can't answer for them."
Tris ended the call with Matthew. When she hung up, she saw more new texts from Eric.
E: Caleb was here. I'm an ass.
E: Please talk to me. At least text.
E: How bad was I? Are you hurt? Did I force myself on you?
E: I want you to know that even if you never want to see me again, you can still see Ava.
E: I never told you, but after Ava came home I had a will made. If anything happens to me, she goes to you or your parents.
E: I love you.
E: I don't deserve you or your forgiveness, so I won't ask for it, but I love you anyway.
Tris sighed and rolled her eyes. How does Caleb know what happened? she wondered. And what did he tell Eric? In a momentary flash of both compassion and anger, Tris replied to Eric.
T: Sorry to disappoint, but you didn't add a ninth notch to your belt.
Eric replied quickly.
E: As much as I love you and want you, I'm relieved. I'd want to remember that.
T: You'll have to settle for your imagination.
With that, Tris shut off her phone and went downstairs to watch television. Caleb was in the family room already, and he gave her a pitying look.
"What did you do?" she asked her brother as she sat down beside him.
"Brother stuff," Caleb said smugly, throwing an arm across Tris' shoulders. "I gave the asshole a black eye."
"You did not," Tris said, elbowing Caleb in the side.
"I'm serious, Beatrice," Caleb said, all teasing gone from his voice. "I heard you and Mom talking about Eric coming home drunk and giving you a hard time. Did you… Did he, you know... Did he force himself on you?"
"No," Tris said firmly. "He was drunk, and an ass, but he did not rape me. Eric wouldn't do something like that."
Caleb sighed. "Good," he said. "You're okay?"
"I'll be fine," Tris said, laying her head on Caleb's shoulder. "I was scared, and my feelings were hurt, but I'm fine."
"Are you breaking up?" Caleb asked solemnly.
Tris sighed. "I don't know," she said. "I was pretty shook up. I can't be with him if that's going to keep happening."
.
On Monday morning Tris skipped her run. She didn't want to see Eric yet. Instead, she went through one of her favorite yoga workouts before she got ready for work. She was sipping coffee with her mother before work when the doorbell rang.
Tris felt her heart rate spike, fearing that Eric was at the door. She stayed in the kitchen while Natalie opened the door. A minute later, Natalie came back to the kitchen with a bouquet of roses in a rainbow of colors - red, peach, pink, yellow, and lavender.
"Those are beautiful," Tris said. "You're a well-loved woman, Mom."
"I agree," Natalie said. "But these are for you."
"Me?" Tris asked, grabbing the attached card.
Each color of rose stands for a different attribute or relationship. I had to send you all the colors, because you're my everything. - E
Tris couldn't help but smile a little as she showed the card to her mother.
The lighter feeling stayed with Tris all the way to work and into her shift at Flapjacks. She was the runner that day, a job she enjoyed. Cleaning tables was the downside, but she got to chat with customers, which she enjoyed. She helped a frazzled young mother herd her three kids to a table. She carried hot cups of coffee for an adorable elderly couple. She brought heaping plates of breakfast or soup and sandwiches to customer after customer.
During her break, Tris pulled out her phone to see that Eric had sent her two pictures of Ava. She decided to reply.
T: Thank you for the pictures, and the roses.
Eric replied just before she had to go back to work.
E: I think Ava is coming down with something. She's warm and restless today.
T: Have you taken her temp?
E: 99.2
T: Could be teething.
E: Any advice?
T: Stay home. Cuddle. Infant fever reducer is in the medicine cabinet in her bathroom.
When her shift ended, Tris went back to her parents' house. She checked her phone every few minutes as she worked on laundry and had dinner with her mom and Caleb.
She finally heard from Eric around seven o'clock, when he should have been getting Ava ready for bed.
E: 99.5
T: When was the last dose of meds?
E: 2:00
T: She's due. Did it help?
E: Yes, but she was still cranky.
T: Meds, bath, bottle, bed. Ok?
E: Thank you
Tris went to bed anxious about Ava. She tried to tell herself that the fever was just teething, but she worried anyway.
Tris was awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of her phone ringing. She sat up abruptly and grabbed the device. Eric's face was on the screen, and her heart raced as she fumbled to answer.
"Hello?" she said.
The sound of a screaming baby filled her ears.
"Tris?" Eric said. "I need help; she's burning up, and she won't stop crying."
"What's her temperature?" Tris asked as she threw on the first clothes she could find.
"One hundred and one," Eric said.
"I'm on my way," Tris told him. "Call the nurse hotline."
Tris literally ran through the house, putting on flip flops as she grabbed her purse and keys. As she drove the short distance to Eric's, she prayed for Ava's health. When she arrived, Tris could hear Ava screaming as she dug her key out of her purse and let herself in.
She followed the sound of the baby's wailing up the stairs and into the nursery. Eric was there pacing the room with his phone held to his ear and his daughter in his other arm. Tris took Ava from him.
"It's okay, Sweetheart," Tris comforted the baby.
"Her mom arrived," Tris heard Eric say into the phone. "Yes, thank you. I will."
Tris laid the baby on the changing pad and started undressing her. Ava was warm, but her wet diaper was a good sign, because it meant she wasn't dehydrated.
"I'm glad you're here," Eric said gently as he watched Tris redress Ava.
"When was her last dose of Tylenol?" Tris asked.
"Seven thirty," Eric replied. Tris looked up at the clock. It was just after three AM.
"What did the nurse say?" she asked.
"They want me to bring her to the doctor. She thinks it's teething, or maybe an ear infection."
Tris prepared a dose of medicine for the baby, but Ava resisted, turning her face away and crying when Tris tried to put the syringe of liquid in her mouth. She lifted the infant to a vertical position and had a little more success getting her to swallow the pink liquid.
"See how she doesn't want to swallow and how she reaches for her ears a lot?" Tris asked. "Those are classic ear infections symptoms. The Tylenol will help with the pain, and the doctor will probably give you antibiotics tomorrow. Ear infections are common at this age; they often come along with teething."
Once she got Ava to take all of her medicine, Tris laid the baby on her chest and shoulder. Ava's cries reduced to pitiful whimpers, and Tris rubbed soothing circles on her back as she murmured comfortingly and rocked back and forth. Eric walked up behind Tris and put his hands on her shoulders. He rested his chin of the top of Tris' head and rocked with her.
"I'm so sorry about Saturday night, Tris," Eric said. "I was stupid, and I scared you and hurt your feelings. I love you so much, and I never want to hurt you like that."
"I know," Tris said quietly. She wanted to stay angry, but it felt so good to be with Eric again, and to feel his warmth surrounding her. "But that wasn't you. Drunk Eric doesn't have any boundaries. Remember the texts after your graduation? I was seventeen and you had been my teacher until a few days before. As soon as you got a few drinks in you called me jailbait and complained because I wasn't at a bar with you.
"The next time you got drunk, Saturday, you told me you wanted to do wicked things with my body, and that I was a cocktease for making you wait. You were grabbing me all over, and I was scared of what you were going to do."
"I sound like a broken record," Eric said, "but I'm sorry. All I can do is apologize, so I'll say it until you believe me. I'm so sorry."
"Eric," Tris began timidly. "I'm concerned about your drinking habits. I've never seen you have a drink with dinner or when we've had friends over, but the two times I know of you drinking, you've gotten totally wasted and acted like a jerk."
Eric sighed. "That's the college drinking mentality," he said. "At least it was among my friends and at the parties we went to. I don't crave alcohol or enjoy the taste. I drink to have a good time. The problem is that a few drinks make me feel so relaxed that I quit saying no, and it goes too far."
"I…" Tris stammered. "I don't… I don't like who you become… when it goes too far."
She sniffled, and Eric drew her closer, wrapping his arms around Tris and the sleeping baby.
"I don't like that I hurt you," Eric said. "I don't need to drink - nobody needs to drink. I don't want to put you through that again. When stuff comes up, I'll just offer to be the designated driver. Does that make you feel better?"
Tris nodded against Eric's shoulder. They stood together in silence for a few moments. Both felt battered and bruised by their conflict, but relieved to be together again. Eric felt hopeful and resolved, while Tris still felt anxious, but somehow whole again.