Here I am again...and yes! *Poses dramatically* This is a Jojo's reference!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, Jojo's is the property of Hirohiko Araki, and both are published by Shueisha.
Higurashi Maruko wanted to punch something. Specifically the shrew of a man standing in front of him across the counter, prattling on aimlessly about "strengthening the community" and "improving commerce and sales", all while going on about some unseen threat in Konoha. The moment this little toady from the worker's and merchant's council came into his shop, Maruko felt the incoming rise in blood pressure that he loathed to start his day with.
"And that, Higurashi-san, is why we're having this meeting. We've been worried about the state of sales lately, and construction on some of the damage from the...attack, has been moving at a snail's pace. We're hoping that just speaking to the people will be enough to invigorate them."
"I see where you're coming from Sentarou, but I think my presence at the meeting would be...unwanted," Maruko gave the shrew a strained smile. "I'm an ex-shinobi running a weapon shop, I usually only serve one demographic in the village. I'm more than well off, all things considered...also, I'm not quite sure what you mean about this "Inside threat" that we've been dealing with for years as you say."
"Oh, I think it'd be pretty hard not to miss it," the human shrew grumbled. "You see the damn beast walking around so much it's impossible to not be disgusted…"
'And there it is,' Maruko thought angrily, knowing exactly who the man was referring to. "Well, I'm sure Ichiraku-san might disagree on certain matters like that...have you extended an invitation his way yet?"
"...Hmm? Who?"
"Ichiraku Teuchi, he runs a ramen stand two blocks over, which is named after him," Maruko said in faux cheerfulness. "Since he's running a food stand, I'm sure he'd like to have some input into things, right?"
"I'm sure he would like to have input, if he's allowed-"
"Then he'd certainly appreciate an invite," Maruko cut the shrew off, giving him a sickly sweet smile. "Of course, I'll attend the meeting if I know that my good friend and I can catch up beforehand, since we're always so busy. And, I'm certain that if anything in the meeting the comes up that could be...unfavorable to myself and others, I'll be sure to make my voice heard."
Maruko hoped the message was made clear. He wasn't interested in going into a chamber full of yes-men spewing self-satisfied bullshit about how to run things, and if he heard something he didn't like he was out. The shrewish man twitched his nose a bit before frowning at the weapon-master.
"Well, I'll be sure to run that along, though I'm personally convinced that if the shinobi council hear about-"
"I don't think there's anything to worry about Sentarou! The worker's and merchant's council is, after all, a group of civilian workers and merchants that may or may not have the ear of the Hokage and the shinobi council," the weaponsmith smirked when the shrew-man grit his teeth angrily. "While I don't doubt the power of petitioning for certain issues to be fixed, sometimes I think we should leave things to the actual leaders of our village…"
"Yes, that's not completely wrong…" Sentarou growled mutely. Maruko's smile turned smug at the dig he took at the man and his "council", marvelling as the man huffed angrily before taking his leave. "Well, I'll be sure to tell the administrators of the council of your attendance-"
"And you'll be getting to teuchi-san, right?" the weaponsmith called out, causing the shrew to stiffen.
"Yes, sure, I'll get right on that…" the man said blithely as he left the store.
"Damn assholes," Maruko growled out the moment the human shrew left. "With their fucking "civilian council", thinking they can tell me what to do and how to act. They should take their damn council and shove everything up their-"
*CRASH*
"EEP!"
"Ah shit! Tenten!" the weaponsmith ran towards the back where he had left his employee. When he found her, she was barely holding up two crates of ore he'd bought for the forge. The bun-haired girl noticed him from the corner of her vision and sent him a nervous smile.
"S-Sorry Maruko, I was just carrying a crate to the forge and-"
"Seems like a little more than one crate, Tenten," the weaponsmith said flatly.
Tenten sighed in response. "I wanted to get it done quickly, so I doubled up...it's not my fault the second one almost fell," the girl pouted.
He had met the girl years before, when she had come into his shop and asked for work. The weaponsmith had simply given her menial labor, assuming she was simply trying to earn pocket cash for herself so she didn't bother her parents for money. It was only when he asked her about them outright that she revealed that she didn't have any parents. She was an orphan, and the stellar establishment that was the village orphanage had decided to kick her out at the ripe old age of 6 years. Maruko had seriously considered adopting her, but then she signed up for the ninja academy, which meant there was some legal bullshit that prevented it. Despite this the weaponsmith had still offered her an actual job, as well as some bukijutsu training if she wished, and had started to treat her like an actual daughter.
"Tenten, I thought I told you to take it easy with those?" Maruko gave the girl a concerned look. "Listen, just take the crates of ore to the forge, one at a time might I add, and then...ah…" the weaponsmith looked around confusedly before his eyes landed on a few boxes of weapons. "Grab the crates with some of those weapons I finished last week, the ones labelled with "store items", not the special orders. Take them out to the floor and stack them on the display racks and whatnot, I gotta get back to the counter."
"Right! I'll get to then!" the girl moved to grab the two ore crates, much to Maruko's exasperation. The weaponsmith shook his head and went back to the storefront. The moment he was behind the counter, he heard the little bell at his door ding as a customer entered.
Maruko looked over from his spot to see a rather tall boy enter the store. While the weaponsmith had seen some pretty memorable individuals come into his shop...this kid was something else. The boy had messy dark-blue hair, and from what Maruko could see of them, aqua blue eyes. He was obviously 8 or 9 years old, based on his facial structure, but he was so unusually tall and well muscled for his age that it almost seemed like he had testosterone poisoning. The boy had messy dark-blue hair, and from what Maruko could see of them, aqua blue eyes.
Aside from his physique, his outfit was rather strange when one looked at it. Billowy black coats weren't weird in the village, but a visored cap that looked like it merged with one's hair definitely would turn heads, just by the sheer confusion it caused as to where the thing started. The weaponsmith actually turned his head for a minute or so to get a better look just to figure that out, then gave up quickly at his ever-growing confusion.
Currently, the kid was looking at racks of weapons. Maruko clicked his teeth when he realized the boy was looking at the swords in particular.
'I get it, he's a shinobi-in-training from the academy, the first years there get to take the advanced bukijutsu tests for next years extracurricular. Of course he thinks he can just pick up a sword and-wait, is he posing?' true enough, the kid seemed to be unconsciously contorting his body in a way that most humans shouldn't try without the right amount of flexibility. His legs were crossed while standing up, his chest was puffed forward while he leaned backwards, and he was holding his left hand to the right side of his face, with his right hand resting on his waist.
'Why pose though?!' Maruko thought in bewilderment. Just as he was about to call out to the boy, he caught his sole employee walking from the back and carrying three large boxes of weapons.
The weaponsmith wanted to chide the girl for it, but any concern he was about to voice was dashed when she accidentally slipped, her yelp of shock causing the posing boy to turn around. The massive boxes of weapons were thrown into the air and their contents along with it. Maruko went pale when some of the weapons flew downwards, dozens of the sharp objects now falling towards the girl.
"SHIT! TENTEN!" the weaponsmith cried in terror as he jumped over the counter to get to her. 'NO! IT'S ALL MY FAULT, I WON'T REACH HER IN TIME-'
*VRRRMMM*
"Huh?!"
"EEP!"
"Yare Yare...Oi! You alright?"
Maruko blinked in shock when he saw what had just happened. Within the same second, blades were nearly killing his surrogate daughter and then suddenly the kid was holding one box in his hands while another sat on the floor, both refilled with their contents. In fact, it was as though Tenten had never slipped at all, she was standing perfectly upright instead of falling like she was not a millisecond ago.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine…" the bun-haired girl trailed off as she looked the boy over. "Hey, I know you! You're that kid who went to some of the first year bukijutsu classes, Jobin...no, Josuke, right?"
"Joushirou actually," the kid said as he laid the weapon box down.
"Oh that's what it is? Yeah, I remember now, you're the kid everybody calls a delinquent!"
"Delinquent huh?" Maruko walked over to the two. "I'm grateful that you saved Tenten, but I'm a bit curious about why you're here."
"This is a weapons shop right?" Joushirou asked flatly. "I'm here because I'm buying some weapons."
"And what kind of weapons are you interested in?"
"A sword or two, maybe," the bluenette said.
'Yeah, figures…' the weaponsmith thought, giving the teen a sideways glance. "What kind of swords are you looking for?"
"I was actually going to get a tanto or wakizashi," the boy said blithely. "I've been training with wooden and blunted versions for the bukijutsu exam, so I'd be more used to them."
"...Oh," Maruko blinked owlishly at the boy. Most students who were doing the bukijutsu classes for kenjutsu training would go for a katana just for the "coolness factor", and he got multiple returns because said students weren't up to snuff to handle a course made for ninja weapons. This kid at least knew how to use two types of shortsword which would get him through the course.
"Alright then, I think we have a few in stock...will that be all?" the weaponsmith frowned a bit when the boy didn't immediately reply. Instead, his head turned to the left and he seemed to be focused on something.
"What about one of those?" the kid asked, and Maruko had to follow the boy's gaze to the rack of large, straight, double-edged blades nearby.
"You want a tsurugi?" the weaponsmith asked incredulously.
"Yeah, I have the money for it."
"You sure? If you don't know how to use it, they can be a bit impractical," the weaponsmith said slowly.
"I think I can handle it," the boy said offhandedly. "If I don't do well with it immediately, I'll keep working on it, I'm stupidly determined like that" the kid said as he pulled a few ryō notes to pay.
"If you're really interested in getting a good feel for them, I've got some goza targets in a side dojo," Maruko said, motioning to the room near the counter. "You can rent the room for a bit actually-"
"How much for an hour?"
"That'd be 5000 ryō, but-" the weaponsmith blinked when the boy pushed a few notes and coins forward. "Alright then kid, just try not to cut into anything other than the targets."
"Yeah I got ya, don't worry! I'm not an idiot…"
I am an idiot! That is the most prevalent thought in my mind as I walk towards ninja school. Why am I an idiot? When I first read about the extracurricular classes you can take after the first year, I chose to train for both kenjutsu/bukijutsu and medical ninjutsu...it just so happens that I procrastinated for the past several months on that last one, because I was focused on making myself a more than passable novice swordsman and organizing my accounts so I could buy swords.
The only things I know about medical ninjutsu are the beginners, and I can just barely use the basic version of the shōshen jutsu that's required to pass. I could use hamon to get past my shortcomings but that would be cheating...oh who am I kidding, hamon became a freebie the moment Araki stopped using it after part 3. If I could figure out how to get it past any of the exam proctors, I'd could ace it, as long as the medical ninjutsu exam isn't first.
"Hey, Jojo!"
Oh look, there's Naruto. Not too far behind was Shino, though he at least was being quieter than the blonde and drawing less attention to himself. Said blonde was giving me a concerned and enraged stare.
"Where the hell were you? We looked everywhere!"
"And where did you look?"
"We checked your fangirls first," the bug-user said lowly. "They were running around the village following you, but they seemed to be following empty space."
"Genjutsu," I said flatly. "It wasn't too hard to do, and it's not my fault they weren't smart enough to figure it out."
"Hey, what's with those sticks you're carrying?" Naruto asked, motioning to the new swords I just bought. I was prepared to tell him as much.
"They're not sticks, they're swords," I partially unsheathed my new wakizashi to demonstrate, taking care not to let the light reflect off the metal and into his eyes.
"So you really are serious about passing advanced bukijutsu...wait," Shino raised his eyebrows behind his sunglasses. "Didn't you say you wanted to get into the medical ninjutsu extracurricular? How is that going along?"
I froze slightly and internally winced at his comment. They must have both noticed, because Naruto stepped forward with a concerned expression and laid a hand on my shoulder.
"Jojo, you studied for your medical ninjutsu exam, right?"
"...No, I've been procrastinating until the last second. I was too focused on my swords."
Naruto facevaulted onto the ground, and Shino huffed lowly in response.
"And your next line is, "that was rather irresponsible of you Jojo", go on," I said, pointing to the bug-user.
"That was rather irresponsible of you Jo-" Shino cut himself off and just stared at me while tilting his head. "How do you do that?"
"Family technique, we have...had, a lot of them," I said with a handwave as we walked. "As for the medic exam...eh, it'll be sink or swim for me and I can always try again next year."
"I wish I had your attitude on that…" the blonde trailed off. "It might be good to have one in case I need something to fall back on for grades at graduation, but I have no idea which one to choose for myself. What about you Shino?"
"I don't feel the need for any extracurricular classes, anything I could learn from most of them will most likely be covered by my clan," the bug-user said flatly as he held a finger up. "For instance, Jojo is planning to take medical ninjutsu, which may involve both healing and creating certain types of poisons. My clan already has several secret recipes for our own special poisons, which can be enhanced by our kikaichū."
"That's fair I guess…"
"Why not try fūinjutsu," I said nonchalantly, hoping I didn't sound too suspicious. "Doesn't sound too hard, just writing a bunch of squiggly lines on a paper should be easy."
"I guess I'll think about it," the blonde said nervously. "I mean, we'd still have time to decide if we wanted to get an extracurricular, and we can just try again at the beginning of next year...so it's not the end of the world."
"I guess you're-" I was cut off by a loud shout not too far away.
The moment we took a good look around, we realized that we were only several meters away from the academy. Standing at the gates was the same no-name sensei as always, though it was clear he looked 100% done today for some odd reason. It took another shout sounding out from the courtyard, which I could tell was one of pure joy, did I realize why the poor idiot was so glum.
"Oi, sensei! What the hell is going on?" I called out when we were only a few feet away from him.
No-name sighed in exasperation as he turned to look at us. "It's Mikihito, he's getting moved to the main corps with the possibility of taking the Jōnin exams...and he won't shut up about it!" the man growled angrily. "Just get going gakis, and try to avoid the idiot…"
"Yare Yare, that's just perfect," I growled as we walked past the no-name chūnin.
True to the guy's words, we spotted Fishlips-sensei in the courtyard laughing boisterously as several other students watched. The former instructor spotted us and a wide smile spread across his face as he began approaching us. I immediately put up a stony expression to mask the urge to be anywhere but here.
"Well, well! If it ain't my two least favorite gakis, and the quiet gaki," the man sneered down at us. "It just so happens that I'm gettin' outta this dump, and I'm movin' on to better things! I won't miss you in the slightest, and I'll be cursing yer names every minute when I finally become a Jōnin! How does that feel gaki?" he growled as he invaded my personal space.
"Hmm? You say something Fishlips-sensei?"
"You little! Why I oughtta-" our former teacher cut himself off and took several deep breaths. "Nope, not happening...my life is finally taking a turn for the better gakis! You're all Iruka's problem now!" Fishlips sensei let out another laugh as he walked off, doing a little dance as he did so. Every student within the courtyard was soon treated to his absurd celebration.
Well, congratulations asshole, you weren't even good enough for three whole chapters. At least I didn't have to worry about that annoyance while I sorted out how I'd be handling my extracurricular classes-
"Oi, Joushuya!"
And another decides to take his damn place. I turned to my left to see Inuzuka Kiba standing in front of several other spectating students while flashing me a toothy grin. The boy flexed his hands and made sure I got a good view of his claws as he did so.
"I'm still fixing to pay you back for that taijutsu match you cheated in!" the dog-boy growled.
"I didn't cheat asshole, you lost because you're an idiot," I said flatly. "You're relying on your clan techniques but forgoing actual taijutsu, of course I was able to spot a weakness."
"Shut it!" the boy growled angrily as chakra started to waft off him. The boy continued growling as he dropped on all fours, while his nails and canines lengthened further. "Gijū Ninpō: Shikyaku no Jutsu!"
Shit, really? Kiba bounded forward like a huge wolf and made a swipe at me that I barely dodged. The dog-boy didn't let up, he twisted around and made to sweep my legs out from beneath me with a low kick. I had to jump up to avoid it, and caught another swipe aimed at my head with both hands. The Inuzuka flashed me a fanged grimace as he growled directly in my face, covering me in small bits of spittle. I grunted in annoyance as I pushed him back, and snorted when the boy landed on his feet.
"Huh, that was almost like a cat…"
"Screw you!" the dog-boy jumped high into the air and began spinning towards me, becoming a whirling shape. "Tsūga!"
I jumped to the side just as he slammed into the ground with his passing fang technique. The other boy jumped up from the rubble in a vicious pounce, claws aimed at my face. Welp, there's the opening I was waiting for.
"Zoom Punch!" I cried out with a smile as my left arm became charged with hamon, lengthening and rocketing forward, slamming into Kiba's face. The poor kid didn't know what hit him.
"You ass! That's what I was talking about you damn cheater!"
"How is that cheating? You used your Tsūga during our taijutsu match, and that's a clan technique," I gave him a toothy sneer. "I think it's only fair I get some of my own in, right?"
"Take me seriously asshole! I'm not gonna take anymore of your cheating!" he roared, charging another passing fang as he whirled towards me.
That spinning technique, it gave me an idea. I dodged the attack again as I pulled a bottle of water from my coat. I snorted as the dog-boy charged me again, and took several swigs of water while keeping up my breathing as much as possible, all while dodging or redirecting his strikes. Kiba let out an angry growl as he swung a clawed hand at my face, much too close for comfort.
"You're done!" the boy growled, once again becoming a human spinning top. "Tsūga!"
...Gotcha!
"Hamon Cutter!" I barely churned the words out as I spat several globs of water charged with hamon from my mouth. The liquid morphed as it flew towards the spinning boy, the hamon causing it to sharpen and densify. I could see the exact moment the water hit his passing fang, because there was a "sqwooorp" sound followed by small drops of blood spraying from the whirling shape.
Kiba's passing fang dissipated halfway towards me and the boy fell to the ground weakly, small amounts of blood still dripping from the tiny cuts on his face, arms, and legs."You...you won't beat me! You damn cheater!"
"I'm not even trying to fight you dumbass, all I've done is dodge and use two techniques," it was fair to point out that I literally knew only four hamon techniques, and only three of them were actually straight on offensive attacks. The other was just a healing technique that I barely mastered after some practice.
Kiba growled angrily and used his passing fang once again and flew towards me. "You're annoying!" I said flatly as I sidestepped his attack.
Just as his passing fang jutsu ended, I jumped forward with a flattened hand aimed at his shoulder. "Hamon no Bīto!" I cried out as I made a quick hamon-charged chop to his shoulder, causing the Inuzuka to slump forward as the ripple zapped him.
"Ughghh…"
"Don't whine Inuzuka, you're the one who attacked me and called me a cheater you damn hypocrite…" I grunted out as I walked back to Shino and Naruto.
I only had the expression of terror spreading across Naruto's face and him yelling for me to "look out" as warning before I dodged a small blade aimed for my neck. I turned back to the dog-boy with a hateful scowl that only deepened when I saw the kunai he held in his right hand. Kiba growled at me in between huffs.
"I...ain't done yet!"
I seriously considered either bringing out one of my new weapons or giving him a good ol' fashioned stand rush. I was already fingering my new tanto and letting Star Platinum's golden aura surround me. It was a good thing I didn't get any further than that.
"HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" I looked to my left to see Iruka storming over to us. I saw Fishlips-sensei not too far away standing near the rest of the students in the courtyard, all of them giving us owlish looks.
Kiba gave our sensei a fanged sneer, thinking he had won. "All I was doing was putting this cheater in his place. Nothin' to worry about Iruka-sensei-"
"Putting him in his place?!" it was a testament to his time as a chūnin that Iruka didn't explode on the boy immediately. "With an actual SHARPENED kunai?!"
The dog-boy swallowed hard and looked to the blade in his hand, before proceeding to double down. "He's a damn cheater! He used water to make these cuts!" the boy motioned to his slightly blood stained clothes. "Plus, he has swords! Why aren't you going off on him?!"
"These are for the bukijutsu extracurricular," I growled flatly as I motioned to my. "And I wasn't cheating-"
"Shut it! That stupid glowy stuff you did, that's cheating!"
"You mean my Hamon?" I scoffed angrily. "That's a clan technique, like your animal attacks, and I can't stop using it since I produce it when I breathe."
"I'm a clan heir you jerk! If I say you're cheating, you're-" Kiba was cut off when Iruka pulled him up by the back of his shirt. I internally flinched when our teacher sent me a flat glare.
"Inuzuka, you attacked a fellow student with a weapon, all outside of sparring match boundaries," he growled angrily at the boy. "I proctored your matches Kiba! Joushirou was allowed his clan techniques just as you were allowed yours. But no, your stubbornness and belligerence prevented you from making a smart decision, because you couldn't handle that you lost," the scarred man dropped the dog-boy and leveled a glare at both of us. "You will both meet me and the headmaster in his office at the end of school."
"What!" the Inuzuka roared angrily.
"Yare Yare...it's not like I ain't used to it by now," I said blithely.
"Hmph…Alright!" Iruka looked around at the crowd that had assembled. "That's enough gawking, all of you! It's time for class."
Thank fuck! Now I could go ahead and ask about how extracurriculars were going to be handled-
"If you're signing up for extracurriculars, the first few start in five minutes! The first few are Fūinjutsu, Taijutsu, and Medical Ninjutsu!"
SONUDA BEEETCH!
"Shit, really!? That early?" Naruto cried out in shock. "Damn, I'm seriously considering that sealing course actually...Iruka-sensei, are you sure it's that early?"
"I'm not going to repeat myself Naruto," the scarred man sighed tiredly. "If you're interested in fūinjutsu, the group for that class is over there."
Iruka pointed to his right, and I had to blink a few times before I understood. There were only three other students prepared to take the sealing class, a couple of mousy boys and a girl wearing glasses, and all three of them looked like shivering deer caught in a flashlight. The teacher was a man dressed in dark clothes save his chūnin vest. Naruto swallowed hard and stood frozen in place for almost half a minute, before walking over.
"Hey, Iruka-sensei! Where's the Medic nin class then?" I asked him. The teacher snorted and pointed to his left, and I immediately dreaded joining that group.
It was almost entirely made up with girls, and even the boys looked somewhat effeminate. Plus, it was a pretty even split between my fanclub and Sasuke's, save for a short glimpse of Hinata's byakugan as she shrunk nervously at the surrounding group. The chūnin leading the medic nin class were Suzume-sensei and one woman I hadn't seen before, a young but stern looking blonde woman dressed like a nurse with only a headband signifying her status as a ninja.
"Yare Yare...alright, let's get this over with," I growled out as I walked towards the group.
After a short walk, we were all brought to an empty classroom with several mats on the floor. We were told to sit before these mats, and immediately handed first aid kits (as well as told not to play around with them). Not long after everybody was seated, Suzume and the nurse, Kasuka, temporarily left the class to prepare something. All of us were given a stern look by the nurse and told to behave.
Not even 15 seconds after did people disobey the rule.
For context, I somehow ended up with Sakura and Hinata sitting on either side of me. So the girl who walked over to me while everybody else was chatting each other up, yeah I had no idea who this girl was. If she even was in the main series, she was probably just a ninja grunt or cannon fodder. Currently she was standing over me and sending me a vicious sneer.
"What are you doing here Joushuya? You're a boy, boys can't be nurses! You should just quit now!"
Can I just take a moment to touch upon how wonderful this society that I have been reincarnated into is? Because it is just lovely! Seriously, here I thought the most sexist people in the village would be the guys, but they're all too busy being perverts to say anything really degrading like that.
Also harems are legal...not sure if that's a good thing or not. Part of me is worried, but the other part remembers the Joestar sex drive.
"Ah! Uh, Mika-san," one of the feminine boys nearby called over. "I'm in this class too, and I'm also a boy-"
"SHUT UP! Nobody asked you!"
"Yare Yare Daze…go away," I said flatly, giving the annoying girl a cold glare. "I can try any class I want, you don't have the right to stop me."
"Eh? You want me to leave? What are you gonna do about it?" the girl leaned down towards me with a smirk. "You gonna hit me? Go ahead, I'll give you a free shot!"
...Fuck!
"H-Hey! Leave him be, he's not bothering anybody!"
Thank you Hinata, you're getting with your crush early. Believe it!
"Just because he'd probably be a shitty nurse doesn't mean he shouldn't try."
Well fuck you too Haruno...but thanks, I'll take what I can get.
"Che, whatever!" the bitch said angrily as she walked off. "Don't be surprised when he fails, boys are that stupid after all."
Ah, the classic "boys are stupid" mentality every girl probably has at this age...she's not wrong, but she's off by like 5-6 years, that's when our idiocy really shines. Speaking of idiocy, our teachers finally came back into the classroom. I could see Suzume-sensei glaring at several students as they returned to their place behind their mats.
"Hmph...couldn't have stayed quiet for a minute huh?" Kasuka huffed lowly. "Alright, I know you've gone through your textbooks for this, but I have to ask...you all know what it means to be medic-nin, right?"
I heard several shouts of "Hai!" around me, and I would have felt a bit self-conscious about my simple nod if the two girls next to me had said anything.
"So then, you're all aware that if you choose to be medic-nin, or receive medical training, you will be called to help others?"
"Hai!"
"Even if the work is...messy?" the woman leaned forward with a smug gleam in her eyes. "If any of you are squeamish, you might not enjoy the coming exam~"
...Are we operating on people? Oh shit! I'm 9, I can't operate on a person, I'll kill them. I knew I should have studied, and it seems some of the other kids were thinking the same thing. Either that, or they were squeamish and they didn't want to operate on actual people. Apparently Kasuka-sensei took our silence as complacence, and spoke to Suzume in a hushed tone. I barely picked up something about rabbits before the bespectacled woman left the room.
"For our exam, we'll be taking a hands-on approach," the blonde woman called out, and I was instantly filled with dread. "You're all going to be given patients, and it'll be your task to heal them" that was when Suzume-sensei came back into the room, followed by two other chūnin pushing a cart filled with dozens of cages through the doorway.
I heard several of the other students gasp at the sight of that cages and-Oh god, that's why they were talking about rabbits?! There were dozens of the poor little things in those cages, cleary the domesticated kind due to their coats, though I wasn't able to tell immediately due to the slash marks all over them. Kasuka huffed when the rabbits stiffened at the whimpers of scared children, and she decided to pull a large rabbit from it's cage.
"These rabbits were originally bound for pet-shops throughout the land of fire…" the blonde woman looked down at the rabbit pitifully, noticing that it wasn't even making an effort to fight her grip. "Unfortunately, a certain...feline pest, well known by our genin, got into their hutches and wrought havoc," Kasuka leveled a flat glare at all of us. "They will be your patients for the exam. You are tasked with healing them, and if you fail to do so, you will not only be barred from the medic-nin course, but you will have caused the death of these rabbits…"
Isn't that just the most child-friendly thing you've ever heard?
...That was sarcasm by the way. This is very un-child-friendly, they're giving kids injured rabbits and telling us to fix them. The chūnin walked around and placed rabbits in front of each student, ignoring their reactions or protests. When they got to my row, I heard a quiet squeak from beside me. I wasn't sure if it was the Hyūga or her rabbit, but I wasn't going to ask.
Because I was busy trying to avoid the gaze of my "patient". The rabbit they gave me was a baby with lop ears and completely covered in pure white fur marred by its own blood. The poor thing had several nasty claw marks across its body, and an ugly mark on its nose. Currently, it was looking up at me with wide eyes while shaking in terror.
Dammit, why the hell did they have to make this difficult?! I made for a slow grab for the bunny, and I got several muted squeaks in response. When I finally had a firm but harmless grip on it, I slowly lifted it up before going to my first aid kit. I almost dropped the kit when my eyes met my rabbit's, seriously the thing looked like he was about to cry.
Stop looking at me like that bunny! I'm trying to heal you, you're only making this more difficult! Just gotta find the-AHA, antiseptic and cotton swabs. I dabbed the cotton in the disinfectant and began gently speckling it on the bunny's wounds, all while cringing every time the poor thing winced and squeaked at the stinging sensation of the antibiotic.
Alright, that was done then, onto the shōshen. I saw that almost everybody in class had actually started with the mystic palm first, which was disheartening. I quickly went through the handseals to surround my hands in an aqua-green glow, then took a deep breath as I willed the ripple to flow through my palms. The moment the jutsu surrounded the baby rabbit, the little thing immediately calmed down, to the point that it became almost lethargic.
After I saw that the wounds were mostly closed enough that they'd heal fine on their own, I released the jutsu and gave the bunny a small amount of hamon to keep it energized. I looked over to the two girls at either side of me and saw them finishing up on their own rabbits as well. I looked over the rest of the class to see several others just finishing up, while a majority seemed to have already finished. I saw the bitch from earlier, Mika, flashing everybody a smug grin.
I immediately flinched when Kasuka pointed to me and the girls next to me, as well as several other students. "All of you, pick up your rabbits and go to the back of the room," she said firmly. We all immediately obliged, watching the other students nervously as the nurse looked back to them. "Now then, to the ones sitting in front of me...would you tell me what you did wrong?"
"Eh, wrong?!"
"What is she talking about?!"
"I thought we did everything right…"
The bitch from before leaned forward angrily and gave the woman a spiteful glare. "What the hell do you mean? We fixed the damn rabbits!"
"Yes, you fixed them," the nurse said flatly, then looked to me. "What's your name boy?"
"...Joushirou," I said while cocking an eyebrow at her.
"Joushirou, would you mind telling me what the first thing you did to your rabbit was?"
First thing I did to my rabbit? What is she-oh!
"I dabbed a piece of cotton in antibiotic and cleaned the bunny's wounds. I don't get why that's so significant, I just kinda did it on autopilot…"
"You did that without even thinking?" Kasuka said, clearly surprised. "Rather impressive. Rest assured, you did what any normal, intelligent, doctor would do when treating a patient. In fact, cleaning the wound should be the first thing you do, it's just common sense" the nurse then motioned for Mika to bring her rabbit over.
I couldn't help the foul taste that invaded my mouth at the sight of her rabbit. It was older than the one I was given, was white with black spots, and had a fluffy white tuft of fur decorating its head. The poor thing's fur was matted with dried blood, and I could see the areas where the wounds had been as they were still red, swollen, and in the shape of slash marks. The rabbit was breathing heavily, hell it seemed that just keeping itself upright was laborious for it.
"What is your name?" the woman asked.
"Mika" the girl grit out angrily.
"Can you tell me what the differences between your rabbit and his are?"
"He got a baby," Mika said flatly, barely sparing the bunny in my lap a glance as it cleaned its face.
"Correct, and if Joushirou hadn't taken the correct steps, his rabbit would have died by the end of the day," Kasuka said matter-of-factly. "His would have become sick immediately, since its body hasn't developed the proper defenses against diseases. Your rabbit may just survive if we give it the correct medication, but it is clearly distressed by your treatment" the woman leveled a stern glare at the girl. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you fail the exam."
"But, but I-you, he-I didn't-" the girl didn't even notice her patient being gently pulled from her grasp and worked on by a nearby Inuzuka vet. In fact, she was too busy sputtering to notice Kasuka walk past her to fail the rest of the students who failed to properly heal their bunnies.
Honestly, I just didn't see the full scope of the problem. Yeah, the kids flunking the exam failed to "heal" their rabbits, but come on, they're rabbits. Leave all the ones that were perfectly healed alone in a dark room for a bit, come back and they'll be like a centillion of em. At least I don't have to worry about failing this exam, now I just have to worry about making sure I don't flunk the class.
I turned my attention to Suzume-sensei when she cleared her throat to address the class. "You may all return to your classes. If you have other extracurricular exams, they will be continuing till the end of the day. To those that passed, I look forward to seeing you next year" the woman looked as several students dejectedly began to leave for normal classes. "For those wishing to take the other classes, meet one of the instructors in the courtyard. For advanced bukijutsu, you're to meet Daikoku-sensei in the courtyard. He'll be the one to take you to the exam room. For advanced ninjutsu-"
I tuned her out after hearing about where to go for my next class. Good thing too, Pointybeard-sensei was one of the few people I actually liked. I made sure the assistant chūnin I met with were careful with the bunny as I handed it over, then I made a beeline for the door and into the hallway. Just as I was about to exit to the courtyard, I heard Sakura of all people call out my name. I looked back to see the pink-haired girl standing in front of the class, sending me a frown.
"You're an asshole Joushuya, you know that?" the pinkette snarled and turned her head to the side. "Still, thanks...if you hadn't gone to your medical kit, I wouldn't have known what to do, so you really saved me back there."
...What? I was just winging it, why the hell was she thanking me?! Oh for-ok, guess I'll just run with it.
"Yeah, fuck you too Haruno!" I called over as I walked away, letting a small smirk decorate my face at the sound of her indignant squawking.
So, advanced bukijutsu...I can't say I wasn't expecting everybody trying to stab each other with their weapons. Apparently that was what the exam consisted of, every prospective weaponmaster or swordmaster pairing up with an upper year from the class proper and fighting till you either made a ring out, or laid a small cut or sizable bruise on your opponent without making it lethal.
At least that's what Pointybeard-sensei told me as we all walked into the class, instead of before getting there. A few of the exam-takers had already arrived early and had paired off with people to fight. I saw only a couple that actually looked good at what they were doing. The others...well, one was suddenly thrown right past me and out of the class by a mace-user.
"Alright, so your sparring partners are already predetermined," Pointybeard-sensei called out, pulling my attention away from the steel-haired boy. "Just let me get it sorted out with the other instructors, and I'll bring you over to them. Take a seat at the benches, all of you" the pointy-bearded chūnin motioned to the nearby seats.
It took several minutes before I was called and directed to a ring at the back of the class. I unsheathed my new tanto when I was three-quarters of the way there, and whistled in delight as the blade sung at the air. It was heavier than the wooden ones I had trained with, but I could improvise enough to make my training looking passable at least. Well, that was what I thought before I finally met my opponent.
"Well this is a surprise," Tenten called out from the other side of the ring once I arrived. "I didn't think I'd be seeing those so soon after you left the shop."
"Well, you're looking less pale," I responded, almost turning white myself when she pulled out an Okninawa style kusarigama. I narrowed my eyes slightly as she pointed the two blades at me. "Good to know that nearly becoming a human pincushion was only a one-time thing..."
"Gotta thank you for that," the bun-haired girl smirked playfully. "Still, that doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you, got that Josuke!"
"It's Joushirou…" I said flatly.
"Oops...well, try to impress me here by passing and maybe I'll remember your name kid!"
...Bitch!
"Tch," I turned my head to the side while puffing my chest out, then I turned back to her with a fierce look. In a blur of motion I crossed my arms, my left hand pointing my blade towards her and my right hand ending in an ILY sign. "You're dreaming if you think I'm gonna fail this!"
"...Why are you posing?"
"I asked myself the same thing when it started...then I stopped questioning it," mostly because I had started posing in my sleep not long after I was halfway through part 2 of Jojo. Obviously I had started posing before that, but the sleep-posing was what made me go with it.
Tenten was still giving me an owlish look when the proctor for our match arrived. After making sure we were both ready, he let out a call of "Hajime!", and everything from then on was a blur of motion and adrenaline.
The first move the girl made was to fling one of her kamas at me, and attack I deflected with a swing. I jumped back a couple of feet when I saw the chain making its way towards my feet, and I heard my opponent grunting in annoyance. From what she muttered, she was either trying to knock me over by binding my legs, or binding one of my arms to pull me close.
Well, I can make that last one happen.
I sped forward with my shortsword outstretched to meet her second blade, pushing her back and causing her to yelp in shock. Just as she began pulling on the chain leading to her second sickle, I stamped my foot down on the strip of metal and swung my blade at her legs. Tenten let out another yelp as she jumped back, deciding to go for a clumsy swing with her remaining kama. I had to back up a couple of inches to avoid the blade sailing towards my chest, allowing the girl to pull her second blade back to her.
Not long after regaining her second sickle, Tenten jumped a few feet back from me. "You caught me off guard there...but you'll be lucky if it happens again."
"I don't know...I feel like today is my lucky day," I snarked back, smiling when she swung her kama at me again.
I jumped away from the strike before speeding forward, aiming to get too far within the blades reach for her to react appropriately. The bun-haired girl's smirk was my only warning that something was wrong, before the kama she had swung at me beforehand was suddenly flying towards my face. I just barely blocked the sickle with my tanto before she jumped forward with her free kama.
I was so busy wondering whether she had used a genjutsu of some sort on me that I didn't bring out my wakizashi to block her strike. I simply held my right arm up and caught it bare-handed. My opponent was clearly confused by this action, even more so when she realized the blade wasn't cutting into me and drawing my blood.
"KOOOOOOOOOHHHH!" my breath became a low growl as I used the ripple to prevent the blade from harming me.
"H-How are you...What is this?!" the girl cried out.
I didn't give her an answer, instead opting to push her back and throw her second kama back towards her. The girl made to throw a blade at me again, aiming for my legs. It was only when I jumped away from the strike did I realize that she had expected that. A few seconds later, and I was completely bound by the long chain that connected her two sickles.
Well...shit!
A grunt escaped my mouth as my opponent pulled hard on the chains, wrapping them harder around me and almost completely cutting off any chance of escape. I clicked my teeth as she walked forward with a smug grin. Just before she began speaking, I took a slow breath and let the ripple flow through me.
"Well, you definitely lasted longer than I expected," Tenten called out, holding her kama towards my direction. "Don't worry, I'll make sure the cuts are small...there's always next year, right Jobin-chan?"
I gave her a smirk of my own. "Did I ever tell you about this old saying people in my family have?" I asked, showing my teeth when she gave me a bewildered look. "When your opponent begins to boast...they've already lost! KOOOOOOOOHHHH!"
METAL SILVER OVERDRIVE!
At least that's what I think the technique is called, I am using it for the first time. The chain wrapped around me lit up like a christmas tree, unraveling from my form immediately and heading towards the girl. I smiled as she jumped back, then pulled my wakizashi out and ran back into the fray. My own dual blades connected with hers, and I flung her backwards with the force, all while continuing to aim for her legs.
I continued slashing at her legs for several minutes before she caught one strike with one of her sickles, and instantly flung my wakizashi out of my hand along her kama. I wasn't going to let it stand, so I struck at her remaining sickle with my tanto and disarmed her. The force of her jumping up as she released her weapon caused a lapse in my grip, and my tanto fell from my hand.
Both of us faced each other, now almost completely disarmed.
"Hmph...alright, that was good…" then Tenten pulled something from a sheath on her hip. "But you're through. Unless you can grab your two swords in the next minute, I have this!" she called out, uncollapsing a bo staff and forming into a stance.
"You have this?" I said, giving her a wild smirk. "Seems you forgot something," I said cheerfully as I unsheathed the tsurugi strapped to my back. "I bought three swords after all!"
We stared at each other for several seconds before she struck. Once again I pushed her back, making sure every strike put pressure on her. After a minute of this, she let out a wordless growl of rage and pushed me back with a hard strike of her own. I held my sword in both hands and leveled it towards her, then I ran forward for a fast stab. Just as Tenten redirected it, I swung my sword onto her staff hard and began pushing.
"I get what you're doing...you think you can psych me out huh?" the girl pushed back at me some more. "Well you're not doing too well kid! Just surrender or take your bruise!"
"Psych you out?" I asked, letting out a small chuckle. "No, I was trying to get you right where I wanted you. Look down."
Tenten glanced down and gasped at what she saw. She was only a few inches away from the edge of the ring, and if she were pushed back hard enough she'd lose by ringout. I had made sure she was so immersed in the fight that she wouldn't have noticed when I had her at the edge.
Just according to keikaku!
"KOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" I let out another growling breath to call upon the ripple once more, willing energy into my sword. The blade became bright enough that the girl had to look away, and I used that as my opening.
Several seconds after the proctor called the match in my favor, I was picking up the two swords that I had been bereaved of, while my opponent was rubbing her sore butt and lifting herself off the ground. By the time I had sheathed my swords, Tenten had already retrieved her chain-scythes.
"Alright fine, you got me there Joushirou!" she told me as we left the ring.
"Apparently it was enough to make you remember my name," I teased. "So what now, do I get a certificate or something saying I passed?"
"It'll be on your schedule next year!" our proctor called over, the bun-haired girl's nod confirming this.
"Aside from that, you'll be handed a sash or wristband…" the girl trailed off as she collapsed her staff. "I remember getting one or the other after I passed. Did you get anything from the other class you signed up for?"
"Medical ninjutsu? No, just that we'd have it on our schedule," I responded.
"Huh...well, guess I'll be seeing you next year then. I have a few more matches after this, but you should really get to your next class."
Next class, what-OH! Right, back to normal lectures with Iruka-sensei and dealing with Fishlips-sensei's last day...yay!
"I do have to ask about that glowy thing you did. What was that?" the girl leaned forward with an inquisitive look.
"Hamon, The Ripple, Sendo, or Wave Energy...it doesn't actually matter what you call it anyway, it was supposed to be made irrelevant 20 years ago," I told her, watching her growing confusion. "When I breathe, I make sun energy in me and I can punch stuff with it...also I can infuse it into things like my swords. It's unique to me and my clan."
"Clan thing huh...so it's like a bloodline?"
"Yeah, let's go with that," I said blithely.
"Ahem!" I turned my head to see Pointybeard-sensei walking over to me with some forums. "Joushuya, I'm afraid I need to borrow you for a bit so you can sign these waivers for the class."
They're telling us to sign waivers after we fucking pass?! Why not when we start trying to stab each other?! And why am I not used to this? These are the sorts of questions I'll stop asking when I've been here long enough, right? Ugh...why couldn't I have been reincarnated into another completely different world?
"Alright, just take me to a spot where I can write," I told the teacher before looking back at the girl. "I guess I better head off."
"I'll be happy to see you next year Joushirou," Tenten leaned forward deviously. "Then our rivalry can really take off…"
...Dammit, really? Just hearing that from anybody sent chills down my back...oh well, I'll deal with that when it comes up.
The rest of the day went on mostly uneventfully...right until I remembered I was going to have to go to the headmaster's office.
"Sonuda beetch!" I growled angrily as Iruka pulled me and the Inuzuka to the headmaster.
"Jojo, relax! It's not like you're gonna get in trouble for defending yourself!" the blonde had called out to me as I left.
Oh boy Naruto, how wrong you were…
When Kiba and I were brought into the headmaster's office, the shrew of a man immediately chewed us out. I tuned it out almost completely, mentally adding to the tally of the lines I had heard him use. The amount of times I had heard him use some of these were already in triple digits, and I was only a first year with no experience in the junior academy.
I started listening in again just as he had finished. "I mean, of all the irresponsible things YOU have done Joushuya, attacking a clan heir is THE MOST incorrigible thing you could manage!"
"...Wait, could you run that by me again?" I stood up and stared the human shrew down, letting my stand's glow surround me. "You think I attacked him?! He's the one who's been constantly accusing me of cheating for weeks, decides to attack me the moment I get to school, and you're saying I'm at fault?!"
"Yes!" the asshole cried out in terror. "Would you stop using your hamon like that?! And cut your damn killing intent gaki!"
"Fuck you! You're pinning shit like that on me, you should expect me to feel like killing somebody!"
"You obviously provoked him!" the shrew-man said as he pointed to me angrily. "You have a history of provoking others, I wouldn't be surprised!" the headmaster leaned forward dangerously, doing his best to seem intimidating.
Problem was, it was working. This asshole could kick me out of school, literally if he really wanted. Even Iruka looked worried when he saw the vicious smile spreading across his direct superior's face. Based on the fact that the man was now matching my killing intent, I had no illusions that this might be it...I guess I'm choosing marine biology after all.
"Obviously the most suitable punishment for you-"
"Would be a strong slap on the wrist," a new voice called out. "And a bit of scolding, for one party in particular…"
I went deathly still and looked to the door in surprise, seeing the god of shinobi Sarutobi Hiruzen standing at the entrance to the room. At his side was a woman who looked almost like an older and female version of kiba, accompanied by a big wolf with an eyepatch. The two were sending the boy cold glares, though the woman flicked a questioning gaze over to me for a few seconds.
That was when I realized that I was still letting the golden glow of my stand's energy surround me. I dispelled it as quickly as I could while playing it off as a natural side effect of the ripple, before bowing lowly to the leader of my village, all while silently thanking him for saving my ass.
I lifted my head just as the Inuzuka woman walked forward, still glaring at Kiba. "Oi mutt, did you really start a fight?" the woman glared fiercely at the boy, pinning him in his seat.
"...Yes, I started the fight...Kaa-san…" Kiba said after several seconds of shrinking in on himself.
Ohoho shit! I actually forgot he had a mom.
"Tch...and I guess you lost too, huh?" the woman bared her teeth at her son and pulled him up by the scruff of his neck, sparing me and the other three a glance as she did so. "He do anything else?"
"Aside from accusing me of cheating in sparring matches because I used clan techniques...eh, not much," I said blithely, ignoring Iruka-sensei's protests about the boy pulling out a kunai.
"Hmph...alright then," the woman turned to the hokage and bowed slightly. "Let me handle my mutt Hokage-sama, I can deal with him a lot better than these jokers could" she directed a low growl towards our headmaster, immediately cowing the man into submission.
"Of course Tsume, that'd be appreciated," the old man turned to me as the woman pulled Kiba with her and scolding him before they even left the room.
"Hokage-sama, I..I don't know if it's the best idea to let Joushuya off with such a weak punishment," the headmaster blurted out a few seconds after Kiba and his mom left. "This boy is a known troublemaker, he's always getting into fights!"
"I never get into things I don't start," I cut in. "Every time I've been in a fight, it's the other person who started it! It's like these idiots can't hold themselves back or something."
"They're children Joushirou," Iruka said flatly, giving me a tired look. "You're a child, if people try to fight you out of nowhere then you should just walk away."
"Hold just a second Iruka," the Hokage started towards me and gave me an inquisitive look. "I read every incident report for the academy you know, so I'm well aware of young Joushuya's reputation...and I'm also sure that he is telling the truth. You wrote that Inuzuka had attacked the boy with a kunai outside of a match, right Iruka?" the old man frowned when the chūnin nodded slowly. "Aside from that, I did have a few witnesses that informed me of Inuzuka's attack was only based on nonsense and was completely out of nowhere…"
Naruto and Shino? Oh sweet stand-using Jesus thank you!
"Of course Inuzuka will have to have a suitable punishment for an unsanctioned weapon spar, as well as possibly endangering the lives of other students," then the old man spared me another glance. "However, I have to remain impartial as well, so I'm afraid you will be receiving a punishment Joushirou."
OH SHEEET!
"Detention, for the entire first month of next school year."
"Yare Yare, whatever…" I trailed off. Longest detention I had gotten so far at least.
"I'll work out the details of Inuzuka's punishment later today," the Hokage told the headmaster. "As for you Joushuya, I need to have a word with you for a bit, then you're free to go," Hiruzen nodded to Iruka before motioning me to come with him.
If I hadn't come with him, then it probably would've looked suspicious. Plus, I shouldn't have had anything to worry about...this is the Hokage, not Orochimaru, so I definitely wasn't going to be touched or anything like that. I left a gaping Iruka and the headmaster as I followed the old man through the building.
After a few minutes of walking towards the exit, I really couldn't handle the silence. "Alright, I'll bite! What'd you want to talk about Hokage-sama?"
"...Naruto talks about you quite a bit Joushirou, you know that?"
"He talks about a lot of things," I responded, remembering how for impatient people it was always the 'getting him to shut up' part that they focused on.
"Well, he seems to have latched onto your...watchfulness of him. For some reason, he sees you as his guardian angel of sorts," the old man turned his gaze to me questioningly. "Why did you befriend him Joushirou?"
What am I supposed to say? The truth, obviously...but I don't have to say the whole truth.
"Because I saw how everybody looks at him. The ninja, the civilians, most of the shopkeepers," I said firmly, giving Hiruzen a piercing look. "I figure he's probably related to some big traitor to the village and nobody wants to talk about it...but for whatever reason, they give him the damn stinkeye for something that probably isn't his fault. And I've caught teachers sabotaging him too, they've put genjutsu on his tests, gave him blunt or broken kunai for throwing lessons, and don't get me started on taijutsu class."
"You pitied him?"
"I didn't need to pity him, because he's not pitiful. Even when everybody takes the piss on him, he keeps going. He acts like it doesn't affect him, he tells everybody that he'll prove he doesn't deserve to be treated like shit," I blew air from my nose hotly as I looked forward. "He's already proven it to me, y'know that? I can say I'm strong because I can handle tough opponents and have good control of my emotions-"
"Didn't seem like that in the office actually."
"But!" I growled out, ignoring the old man's chuckles. "I can't ever be as strong as him. Naruto can look a person who's shit on him in the eye, and give them a big goofy smile to show he doesn't care. If I were in the same situation, I'd never be able to take it. I'd clock them right in the damn nose."
Hiruzen chuckled lightly. "You're not too different from your parents Joushirou…"
...My parents?! Hold the fuck up!
"W-What do you know about them?" I asked nervously, flinching under his confused gaze when he turned to look at me. "I...I forgot about them okay, whenever I try to remember them I hit a mental block. If it weren't for the pictures, I'd never even know their faces."
"You still don't remember what happened to them?"
WRYYYYYYYYY~
"I've been trying to...but I…" I felt any words die in my throat and my hands clammed up. "What exactly did happen?"
"Your parents took you on a camping trip over three years ago, because they wanted to teach you Hamon, or at least the basics," then Hiruzen bristled. "We don't know what happened either...all we know is that you were all gone for a week longer than you should have been. When we sent to find you, the first thing we found were your parent's bodies…" the old man swallowed hard as I looked to him. "Most people distrusted your mother, for obvious reasons...but there were enough people who cared about her, and they were devastated when they found out she had been torn to shreds."
"...Torn to shreds?" I croaked, mostly to myself.
"We only found tiny pieces, and barely any blood. Your father, his body was at least intact, minus the hole in his torso...and of course the complete lack of blood," the Hokage gave me a sad look. "I had my own suspicions of who did it...but there weren't any leads. We only found you after three days of searching, you were a complete wreck and you remembered nothing of what had occurred."
"...And what about them specifically?" I asked anxiously. "Hokage-sama, I forgot almost everything like I said. I can't even remember their voices that well!"
"That's disheartening Joushirou," the old man said lowly. "Your old man was the dead-last of his year I think, and he was a lot like Naruto...but a bit worse," a deep chuckle escaped his lips. "I remember when Jouichi first left the village. He said he wanted to explore, and went through a bunch of legal hoops to leave. I asked him where he wanted to go and when he told me, I seriously considered telling him he was insane and having him locked up for his own safety," Hiruzen let out another chuckle and smiled at my confusion. "He said he wanted to go "out west", past this huge wall that separated the elemental nations from the mythical western nations."
"Why though?"
"He wanted to find the secret behind the mysterious power he and his clan had. Whenever they breathed, they produced some form of energy different from chakra that they could use to heal their wounds, enhance their combat prowess, even preserve their youth…" the Hokage looked to me knowingly.
"Hamon!" I said after a few seconds.
"Exactly, he had heard a rumor that there was a way to learn more about it, since nobody here knew a thing, and he was the last member of his clan," then he let out a guffaw. "He came back three years later missing his left hand, with a pretty blonde woman hanging onto him. He introduced her as his wife, Joanna..." then the old man looked over to me while leaning his head back. "She had that same birthmark you know? A star on the back of her shoulder, not too far from her neck. Said it was a family birthmark."
"Yeah, I know about that at least...what else?"
"Well, obviously nobody trusted her, and they weren't too happy that Jouichi brought an outsider into the village. When I asked your father what the hell he was doing, he went into this long story about what happened when he reached that wall. It was so damn...uh, I can't find the word…"
"Bizarre?" I offered.
"That, yes!" the old man smiled at me. "It was bizarre, I just couldn't fathom either of them living through that…but she was a kind woman, and after a few months I knew I could trust her. She definitely made it as a shinobi too," Hiruzen turned his head forward as Naruto cried out for us. That was when I realized that we had arrived at the courtyard, and that my two friends had waited for me for the past hour or so.
"Your parents would be happy Joushirou...maybe not with how you act obviously, I'm sure your mother would be chewing you out for it," Hiruzen smirked at my flat look. "But I'm sure they'd be proud of how you think...I've tried so hard to do right by him," the Hokage glanced over to the blonde solemnly. "But I've met so much resistance, so many stubborn fools...I'm glad that he met you, I'm glad that he has somebody who cares for him."
"Part of me felt like I had to, otherwise nobody else would have…" I trailed off as Naruto ran towards us.
"Hey Jojo! Jiji too? Wow, didn't think your fight was big enough for the old man to get involved," the blonde said cheerfully with his outdoor voice, ignoring Shino's small chiding as the bug-user walked up.
"Nothing like that Naruto, Joushirou just has detention the entire first month of next school year," the Hokage informed him, causing the boy to cry in shock.
"The entire first month! Damn, that's a new record for you Jojo!"
"Wanna go to Ichiraku's to celebrate?" I asked him, giving him a cheeky sneer.
"Don't know if that's something to celebrate...but I'm always up for a bowl of Ichiraku ramen," the blonde smiled at the Hokage. "Hey Jiji, you wanna come too?"
"Unfortunately Naruto, I'm going to be quite busy with my mortal enemy," the old man grew a serious look of disdain. Naruto tilted his head in confusion, before his eyes widened in realization.
"Oh! You're talking about paperwor-"
"I'm talking about paperwork, yes," the look of disdain dropped and Hiruzen gave us all one more kind smile. "Go ahead and enjoy your noodles boys. I'll be glad to see you next year when school starts."
Just as we took our leave with the Hokage and started towards our famous ramen shop, I realized Naruto wasn't with us. When I looked to the academy gates, he was still hanging back, staring sadly at the courtyard. I followed his gaze to the upturned ground and ruined patches of grass from my morning fight with kiba, and then looked back to the blonde.
"Hey Naruto, you comin' or what?"
"...Yeah, just give me a minute or so, I'll catch up," the blonde said, barely paying attention to us.
Ok, that's a bit weird, Naruto never acted like this even in canon. Well, except for that one time...and that other time too, and plenty of other times. But those were really important moments in his life, or parts of the filler...this is just odd.
Shino and I walked away from the academy and gave the blonde his "minute or so", and sure enough he was running to catch up to us.
"Sorry, I had to deal with one last thing before the school year ends. Now, let's get some Ichiraku's!"
...He's hiding something. That's the only explanation I can think of. Something that's important, like a secret relationship with Hinata, or a cool bloodline he didn't have in canon maybe? Whatever it is, it's made things infinitely more interesting…
And infinitely more worse T_T!
←To Be Continued
A little hint on something that'll show up when I get to graduation and Mizuki. Now for the reviews.
Sliksick: Shikamaru isn't getting a stand...maybe he'll get Cheap Trick in an Omake and I'll make a few jokes about it, but most of it is gonna be OC stands.
Ashborn2271: Jojo is going to change that too obviously, he's working towards fighting fate. I'll touch on fate next chapter.
KarimHD: Hamon is going to be exclusive to Joshiro until DIO finally shows up. Then the sun-powered fisting will come into play ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
coldblue2015: It'll start in Kanto, The spin will show up later and it'll be a good thing to have if you need a quick Rasengan to use and throw. Ceasar's bubbles are his thing, Joshiro is going to do normal Hamon stuff but with the Metal Silver Overdrive in his swords more often than not. He might train with Hayate and Yugao, but they won't be his sensei(s)...Anko is :D. As for stands and Hamon being know, part of the Hamon thing is touched on here in this chapter.
ARabidReadr: Jotaro is the perfect henge, beacause every ninja expects another ninja to take a henge that wouldn't stand out. So Joshiro will take a henge that will stand out, which will throw people off. As for DIO allying with Orochimaru, DIO wouldn't even give the snake the time of day, Orochimaru would be nothing more than an insect compared to him.
uwotm007: Yes, but not until the Ninja SAT-I mean Chuunin exams.
DarkAnon: Steely Dan's beatdown was great, but yeah, I'll be making references to the "Cioccolata special". Thanks for the review.
Tobi is a Gooder Boy: Yes he did, and there are far more Jojo references where that came from. Star Platinum isn't going to be enhanced by Hamon, I think that's more of a thing that Hermit Purple could do because it was connected to Joseph even when it was released.
colljoe22: yes yes yes yes...YES!
As always, thank you for the followings and reviews. For everybody interested, please leave any thoughts, questions, and constructive criticism in your reviews.