As he stepped through the front door of the house Noah's eyes darted immediately from the broken lock on the drinks cabinet to the hammer on the floor lying amongst shards of shattered glass. And Luke, sitting deathly still at the table with eyes fixed on a full glass of whiskey; hand gripping the opened bottle.

Wide brown eyes lifted to meet his, and Luke exhaled visibly in his relief at Noah's return.

"Help me." He mouthed; face pale in the soft glow of a nearby standing lamp.

Shocked, Noah nodded closing the door and dropping his laptop bag. He approached tentatively; sitting gently beside him.

Luke was once more staring trancelike at the golden liquid in the glass; his breathing short and sharp; fighting an internal battle not to drink.

"How long have you been sitting here, hmm?"

As he spoke Noah very slowly threaded his fingers through Luke's hair watching as his eyes closed at the touch. Then, at the same time, Noah used his free hand to pry Luke's hold on the bottle. It was a vice-like grip and took Noah a few goes, but eventually Luke was gripping his hand instead.

Nuzzling Luke's neck, Noah brought his lips close to his ear and whispered, "It's okay, baby. I'm here now."

He cursed himself for coming home from the studio so late and deeply massaged the back of Luke's neck with this other hand.

"I'm sorry." Luke murmured, pressing back into the touch.

"What for?"

Luke frowned and looked dejectedly at the mess around him.

"Hey?" Noah bobbed his head to get Luke's full attention. He caught Luke's eyes and the blonde relaxed. "Did you drink any?"

Luke shook his head.

Noah smiled, "Then we're all good. Right?"

Luke gazed back at the full glass on the table, licking slightly at his bottom lip.

Noah hooked his forefinger under his husband's chin to pull his head around, "Let me take you to bed."

Noah shouldn't have been surprised to find Luke so lost and confused. He'd seen it coming ever since they arrived home from the farm; with Luke acting strangely withdrawn, not wanting to go out.

"What about…?"

"I'll clean it all up." Noah assured him, "Don't you worry…"

"You're too good for me, you know that?"

Noah smiled again, kissing the side of his head, "Ditto."

"Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for."

They walked hand in hand to their bedroom; Noah glancing surreptitiously into the kids room as they past. Two small mounds confirmed both Mia and Nicholas were safely tucked in bed, fast asleep.

...

Luke groaned and rolled over onto his side, gripping a pillow over his ear. He knew it was morning because Noah had opened the blinds and the sunlight was warm and bright in the room. He knew if he opened his eyes that would be it; time to get up.

Lately getting up was hard. It was difficult to accomplish a full night's sleep with his dreams always turning back to Africa; inevitably waking him up in a cold sweat.

But it wasn't fair to rely on Noah to keep the household running on his own, especially when he was so close to completing his film. And for that reason, Luke resolved to open his eyes and greet a new day with as much positivity as he could muster.

"At least it's a Saturday!" He thought to himself.

He opened one heavy lid at a time and had to smile when he was met by two expectant blue eyes.

"Morning Nicky." He yawned.

Nicholas smiled brightly in his Batman pyjamas and Luke wondered how long he'd been standing there.

"Is it my bur-day?" he mumbled happily, scratching at the side of his nose.

Still half asleep it took Luke a moment, "Sorry baby?"

"My bur-day?" The boy repeated with a crinkled brow.

Still too sleepy to work out what Nicholas meant, Luke smiled and patted his stomach, "Climb up here."

Nicholas complied, straddling Luke's belly.

"Can I get a cuddle?"

The boy grinned and fell forward, resting his head on Luke's chest. He smelt like baby shampoo.

"Noah's making a cake." Nicholas announced.

Luke chuckled, "Wait a minute!" He pushed Nicholas back up to seated by his arms, "Did you just say Noah's making a cake?"

Nicholas nodded, "It's for me." The boy smiled proudly.

"Okay!" Luke heaved himself up from under the child, making him giggle, "Now this is worth getting up for!"

Padding barefoot to the kitchen the unmistakable baking smell of flour, egg and sugar wafted into his nostrils. He stepped through the kitchen door; Nicholas on his heels; just as a frowning and flour clad Noah pulled the sunken disaster from the oven.

"Not. A. Word!" He moaned, "Seems baking a cake from scratch is entirely different from baking cupcakes from a box."

Luke tried to stifle his laugh behind his arm.

"It's not funny!" Noah insisted dropping the cake tin on the counter and throwing the oven mitt right after in frustration.

Luke's grin widened, "It kinda is!"

Noah's gaze fell from Luke to the attempted cake and back to Luke before he too laughed.

"Okay," he conceded, "It is funny!"

"Awe! Poor bubby." Luke stepped forward and pulled the tall body into a hug, patting his back in sympathy.

They pulled apart without breaking and Noah rested a hand on the side of Luke's face, studying him intently while trying unsuccessfully to hide a look of worry. Luke was tired of seeing that look on the handsome face, especially since he was the cause.

"You okay?" Noah asked him, "Better?"

Luke smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss him softly. "Why didn't you wake me?" he asked, changing the subject, "I could have done this."

Noah shrugged, "You needed to sleep. And besides, I wanted to do something special for Nicky. It's his first proper birthday."

"Oh!" Luke exclaimed in realisation, "Birthday!" He laughed turning to Nicky now seated up on one of the kitchen stools licking batter from a ladle and watching them both with bright eyes. "Is that what you meant, baby?"

Nicholas nodded, "Yeah, bur-day. That's what I said."

Smiling Luke walked over to kiss the top of Nicholas's head and a brief moment of sadness passed between the two men. They had resolved to give Nicholas the best birthday they could, pretty sure Michelle would never have bothered to celebrate it. Assuming she even remembered the date.

"It's going to be a very special day Nicky." Noah explained.

"Why?" the boy asked, cake batter dripping from his chin.

"Because it's the day you were born." Luke ruffled his hair and wiped the mess from Nicholas's face with his thumb.

Nicholas's frown deepened and Noah laughed at the expression on his tiny face. Trying to come up with a way to explain so that the boy understood Noah said, "Nicky, we are very happy that you came to live with us and we're going to have a party. And there'll be cake and balloons…"

"…and presents!" an excited Mia finished the sentence as she joined them in the kitchen, gripping a fashion doll in one hand. "You get lots and lots of toys and stuff!"

She giggled as Luke blew a raspberry into her neck before lifting her up onto the stool next to Nicholas.

"Really?" Nicholas asked in wonderment.

"Yes, really." Noah nodded.

"Today?"

"No not today baby." Luke said, rubbing circles on his small back, "Your birthday is tomorrow."

"How many sleeps?"

"Just one sleep." Noah replied. "And then you'll be five years old."

"I'm five!" Mia exclaimed importantly, walking her doll along the counter surface, leaving tiny flour footprints behind.

"Yes you are!" Luke agreed, "Big enough to help me bake a cake! What do you say? Shall we show Noah how it's done?"

"Yeah!"

...

A while later, sprinkled in kisses and a dash of giggles, the foursome, one dressed and three still pyjama-clad, successfully removed their beautifully baked chocolate sponge cake from the oven.

"Wow!" Nicholas exclaimed in approval, picking up the bottle of multi-coloured sprinkles, "Can we shake this on now?"

"Not just yet baby." Luke replied and then quickly held the tiny hand back from touching the cake, "Careful! It's very hot."

"Okay."

"Mmmm!" Mia smiled, "Smells yummy!"

"Okay time for all of us to get dressed!" Noah laughed, "Can't spend the whole day in our PJ's now can we?"

"Yeah and by the time we're dressed maybe the cake will be cold enough to decorate." Luke suggested.

"Yay!" Nicholas exclaimed, clambering off the stool so he and Mia could run off to their bedroom.

Noah squeezed Luke's shoulder and Luke pressed his cheek against Noah's warm chest, swaying them both slowly in a small dance. He started to hum a made up tune as they moved and Noah pressed a kiss into his neck. Luke loved these moments.

However the moment was interrupted by the doorbell.

Luke looked questioningly up at Noah. "They're early aren't they?"

Noah laughed, "Not really Luke, we've been a little distracted this morning, its noon already!"

Glancing up at the clock Luke blushed, "You mean I have to open the door dressed like this?"

"They won't mind."

Luke winked, rubbed his hands quickly on a kitchen towel and headed for the sitting room. He continued to hum as he approached the front door, but, relaxed by all the fun of the morning, had totally forgotten, and so when his legs stopped working, he hit the wall harder than usual.

It was like a sickness. He described it to Noah as the feeling he got while riding a rollercoaster, just as it reached the top and his stomach dropped on the decent. Only this feeling wasn't associated with fun at all and once activated could last an hour, a day, two…

He couldn't move his legs; he felt encased in numbness. It was as close to the front door, as close to the perceived danger, as his subconscious would allow him to go.

His vision began to blur and his skin formed a thin layer of warm sweat. He tried to fight the panic but he could feel it overwhelming him. And it would have too, had Noah not been there to stable him with a warm hand in the small of his back.

"It's okay Luke." He said, his voice like a caress, "You don't have to get it."

Luke pulled his attention from the door to meet the understanding of Noah's blue eyes. The doorbell rang once more and he jumped so far back he ended up half seated on the edge of the sofa.

"Luke, it's okay. It's just your parents with Ethan."

Luke's eyes widened in frustration, "Logically I know that Noah. I know how stupid this is."

Noah pulled Luke to standing and gripped both his arms at the shoulders, "Nothing about you is stupid, okay? We'll figure it out. It's just how you're dealing with things right now."

Luke began to apologise but Noah pressed a forefinger to his lips.

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

Luke sighed. He couldn't believe how much his body was shaking.

"Go shower and change." Noah told him. "I got this."

...

"I'm coming!" Noah shouted as the doorbell chimed once more.

He reached the door and waited until Luke was out of sight before opening it.

"Noah!" Lily beamed, hugging him so hard she knocked the air from his body.

"Hey!" Noah laughed.

"Noah, Noah!" Ethan repeated, hopping up and down with outstretched arms.

Noah squatted to his level and accepted the small arms around his neck.

"Hey big guy! Are you ready for the sleepover?"

"Yeah! Can we catch Never Ending Story?"

"Sure buddy! But one thing at a time, right? Why don't you go and find Nicky and Mia? They're in their bedroom."

"Okay."

He scurried off past Noah and Noah stood back, making room for Lily to enter before shaking Holden's hand.

"Where's Luke?" Holden asked.

"He's gone for a shower. I'm sorry. We're all running a little late this morning. I'll have to go and get the kids dressed in a minute."

"I can do that!" Lily smiled, "It will give you boys some time to catch up."

Noah laughed, "It's only been two weeks since we left the farm!"

"I know, I know. But it was so lovely having you all around! The place seemed so empty without you."

"We missed you guys too." Noah assured her.

She patted his cheek and left to find the children.

Holden placed their overnight bags by the door and stood looking at Noah seriously, "How are things, son? Any improvement?"

Noah shook his head with a slight frown as he closed the front door behind Holden, "It's weird, you know? One minute it's like there's nothing wrong and then the next…"

"What?" Holden pushed as Noah broke off.

Noah wasn't sure how much to say but felt he could use Holden's advice.

"Beer?"

Holden smiled, "I was just going to suggest that."

Holden slapped Noah's back fondly as they made for the kitchen and Noah made sure they both had a drink and were settled outside on the decking before broaching the subject.

He fiddled with the ring tab on his cold beer can, "I found Luke with an open bottle of whiskey last night."

"He didn't?" Holden asked worriedly.

"No no! Dad, he wouldn't."

"How do you know?"

Noah smiled softly then, looking back inside where Ethan and Nicky were giggling as they appeared in the sitting room playing a game of sword fighting, "Nicky and Mia were here. He may have gotten as far as pouring the drink, but I know Luke. He'd never risk them. Never!"

Holden contemplated that for a minute, but finally nodded. "Luke has made mistakes before, but I believe you're right."

They were silent as they both took a thoughtful sip from their beer cans.

"So he's not been outside at all?"

Noah shook his head, "Nope."

"I don't get it? So you got home from the farm and suddenly he couldn't leave?"

"Pretty much. He had to go into the office the following day, got as far as the doorstep and froze."

"I wish I could give you some solid advice, son, but I think you both need professional help with this one."

"Yes and I agree. We've discussed that. I guess we just hoped it would pass with time."

Holden leaned back and lifted his legs up onto a spare chair, rubbing the back of his neck, "Do you think Luke's sudden agoraphobia is connected to the events in Africa?"

Noah stared up at the clouds, blinking into the afternoon sun, "You can count on it."