Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.
Word Count: 738
Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #197
Submitted By: Architeuthis
===============================
To the Ministry of Idiotic Mages,
Thanks for the laugh. After that mess in Ba Sing Se, we could really use one. Toph says that any girl who wants me will have to go through her first, and she is one of the most powerful earthbenders in the world.
Turns out "bending" is a fairly common type of magic in magical Asia and the polar regions. It also turns out that I'm an airbender – the rarest type.
As you might have heard, Toph, Aang, Katara, and Sokka crashed Voldemort's resurrection party. As they were riding a multi-ton air bison which also has airbending abilities at the time, the Death Eaters didn't have a chance. Sokka cut me loose, and Toph used earthbending to crush the cauldron containing Babymort. Cue the wailing and black smoke. Unless he's gotten himself another body, he's a wraith again. Sokka says that Voldemort deserved being crushed.
After I thanked Aang and Co. for the rescue and complimented them on their timing, I asked them how they'd known I needed help. Okay, Katara, I admit I wasn't quite that tactful.
Aang is the Avatar, a spiritual leader who can bend all four elements. The nearest non-magical equivalent I can think of is the Dalai Lama – if that helps. As the Avatar, Aang has ties to the Spirit World. One of Aang's friends in the Spirit World told him that 1) I was an airbender, and 2) I needed his help straight away.
After saving me, Aang then offered me lessons in airbending, and the various types of bending incorporate martial arts techniques and moves. After surviving a ridiculous number of encounters with Voldemort and his followers largely through "sheer dumb luck", to quote McGonagall, I was not going to say "no" to actual lessons in fighting. Airbending also doesn't involve using a wand, which means I'm not automatically helpless if somebody takes or snaps my wand. Sokka and Toph both say witches and wizards are idiots for relying on just one weapon, no matter how versatile it is.
There are other advantages to traveling and working with Aang and his companions: No more Professor Snape, no more Dursleys, and no more nearly getting killed every year at the alleged "safest place in magical Britain". I will have to help them against the Fire Lord Ozai, who is mental enough to use his own children as weapons. Guys, please, can we dispense with the arguments about Zuko? His being less ruthless than Azula doesn't change the fact that he's still working for his father.
So, what does all this have to do with your new stupid law? First off, I'm not going to come running back to England in the near future – certainly not within the next week. I've got airbending to learn and a Fire Lord to help fight.
Second, given your overall competence, I don't trust you guys to choose a wife for me. You'd probably just match me with some rich pureblood regardless of whether we had anything in common or liked each other. Very well, Toph, that's true, too. It's too late anyway, because she is not stepping aside for some other girl. She'll drop a boulder on anybody dumb enough to try to make her.
In case you haven't guessed, Toph and I have become a couple. I don't want or need the Ministry's help in picking a girlfriend or wife. Furthermore, while I do plan on having children, I'm certainly not going to start a family at FOURTEEN.
Harry Potter
Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol