~Contentious Issue Time~

Another day came to an end and another mischievous youkai felt the wrong end of Reimu's wand. Another bottle of sake was uncorked in the shrine.

"Tonight," said Marisa loudly, "we drink to victory! Our land is safe from the hair-eating goat demon of Makai!"

"I'm sorry, all right?! I genuinely didn't realise people didn't like having their hair eaten!" a lanky woman with horns protested.

"It's fine. We all make mistakes," said Reimu, pouring her a glass of wine. "Just make sure you don't do it again."

Marisa cleared her throat. "Let's try that again. To victory!"

"To peace!" yelled Reimu.

"To love!" toasted Sakuya.

"To other nice things like that!" cheered Sanae.

"Um," said the hair-eating youkai, "to improving one's behaviour and becoming a better person?"

"That's the spirit!" laughed Marisa.

Kosuzu raised a glass of orange juice. "To friendship!"

Ten curious eyes turned to face her.

"Uhh…" Kosuzu almost seemed to shrink. "Aren't we doing toasts any more?"

"What are you doing here? You didn't solve this Incident!" said Reimu archly.

"Yeah, I didn't see you when we were fighting those kage-onna triplets," said Marisa disapprovingly. "And we could have used your magic eyes in the Library of Alexandria's ghost!"

"Um, well, I'm not that good at danmaku. I'm just here to congratulate you?" said Kosuzu nervously.

"You think you have the right to celebrate with us?!" demanded Marisa. She rose angrily, knocking her chair down with a clatter. "You didn't fight, you didn't protect anyone, you didn't do a thing! You don't deserve to stand here!"

"B-but I don't- I'm not s-saying I did anything!" Kosuzu's knees knocked as she backed away. "I-I can go if you want me to…"

"Not before we punish you," growled Sanae.

"P… Punish…?" Kosuzu flinched as her back met the wall. "You can't! I-I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Attempting to see the resolution of an Incident when you yourself did nothing towards resolving it is a terrible sin. You, Kosuzu, if that truly is your name, are a disgrace." Sakuya took a knife from her pocket and smiled wickedly. "And I don't think you deserve to have so many organs inside your cheating little body. Is that fair?"

"N-no… Please!" whimpered Kosuzu. The wall was unnervingly firm behind her. There was no escape.

"I intend to gut you like a manatee," said Sakuya calmly.

"Then I'll burn her to a crisp!" declared Marisa.

"Do you want my help?" asked the goat woman.

"No, the situation is in hand," Sakuya reassured her.

"I'll jump up and down on Kosuzu's ashes!" bellowed Sanae.

"And I'll bind your worthless spirit to-"

"I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING! IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"

Silence descended. The Incident Resolvers were too stunned to speak.

"For pity's sake, all I did was come to your party! I'm not hurting anyone!" screamed Kosuzu. "I love you! You're my idols! Even if I'm not as strong as you, or as fast or as good at dodging bullets, why shouldn't I get to spend time with you?! I'm not pretending to be a hero! I just…" She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "It's not my fault I'm weak. I don't deserve to be left out because of it. Do I?"

"Er…" Reimu's gaze dropped to her feet.

"She might not," said Sanae, in a small voice.

Marisa bit her lip. "Look, threatening to kill her was a bit harsh. There are still rules, though-"

"And we would all do well to remember them."

All eyes turned to the front of the shrine. Yukari was stepping out of a purple void full of eyes, as per usual.

"Don't get me wrong," said Yukari, "your situation is a perfectly decent allegory for the frustration people feel when they struggle with a certain series of vertical-scrolling shooting games. However, in a franchise with a heart of supplementary materials and fanfiction running through its veins, you can hardly complain of being left out."

Kosuzu gave Reimu a beseeching look. "What's she talking about?"

"'She' is the cat's mother," said Yukari wryly. "We must not forget the will of he who is responsible for Gensokyo, either. You all know of whom I speak: a certain young game developer with a passion for musical composition who left his company to follow his own path, now a kind-hearted family man neither uninspired nor sober for twenty years and counting."

"A man?!" gasped Sanae. "I'd forgotten they exist!"

"Well, Sanae, you aren't always the brightest," Reimu tactfully pointed out. "But there definitely isn't a man responsible for Gensokyo. Or if there is, he must be very-"

"Please don't worry about things beyond your comprehension," said Yukari firmly. "As I was saying, between our creator and all those who follow in his footsteps, there is more than enough Touhou for anybody to enjoy. And it is his wish that nobody should see the true ending of an Incident unless they solved or helped solve it with their own strength and talents."

"You're not saying one of the gods is upset with me?!" wailed Kosuzu.

"Well, no, he isn't a god and he probably isn't aware of what you were trying to do," said Yukari. "Whether it is right for him to demand such a degree of secrecy in a series where many people prefer the characters and the storyline to the gameplay is debatable, but he has the right to do so. Do we not owe him that much?"