Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and GATE: Thus The JSDF Fought There belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.
Word Count: 854
Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #216
Submitted by: Quatermass
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Dear Ministry of Morons,
Given that I am currently on a long-term mission for the Department of Mysteries, exploring a whole new world, I would have thought that myself, and my fellow explorers Hermione and Luna, would be exempt from this idiotic law. I'm guessing someone slipped some Galleons to have this sent by House Elf to this world.
I'm sure by now you're already aware of the Gate that opened up in Tokyo, and how a limited reveal of the existence of magic on Earth was made. That Gate leads to the same world where I was sent to some time before, a world that the Japanese Self-Defence Forces have since come to. Long story short, the Gate, and the Veil as well, were left in place by a rather irresponsible death goddess called Hardy, who likes to light the blue touch paper and watch fireworks go off. She also doesn't understand the concept of consent, as my friend Rory Mercury can attest to, but I digress.
Anyway, shortly after landing in this world, I ended up rescuing Queen Tyuule of the Bunny Warriors from Prince Zorzal El Caesar of the Saderan Empire, who wanted her to become his concubine (though that's too good a term for what he wanted her for) in exchange for her people's lives (he was going to renege on it anyway).
A silly name, 'Bunny Warrior', but you try arguing with a race of beautiful women with rabbit ears who can gut you like a fish. After I helped her people drive off the Imperial Army, I got caught up in the celebrations, and, well, Potter marriage rings got involved. So, even if you want me to divorce her, I can't.
We may not have been in love when it happened...but we've grown to love each other. Tyuule is a strong woman. Not only that, but because she wants more mages in her tribe, she's open to my having other lovers, though I have only done so with her trusted lieutenant, Delilah. Between us, we have three beautiful children. And you want to take that away from us? Especially after how Magical Britain treated me?
As for Luna, she's hooked up with a lovely Elf girl by the name of Tuka. And Hermione's with one of the Japanese who came here, Youji Itami. He's a lazy dork and more of an otaku than a soldier, but his heart is in the right place. Oh, and would you believe Sirius is alive, well, and hooked up with a Dark Elf with even worse luck than him? Still, Yao's nice.
Now, you might think you can force the issue. It'd be in your best interests to reconsider. Why? Well, I know some pretty powerful people. Leaving aside that most of the JSDF are on my side, and even a Muggle army as inexperienced as the JSDF could kick your arses nine times out of ten, there's also the Bunny Warriors, who make the average soldier here or on Earth look like wusses. And my love is their Queen, and one of their best warriors.
There is also Hermione's protege, Lelei La Lelena, a prodigy of a mage who is pretty scarily good at creating new spells. There's Tuka, of course, who could put an arrow through your eye before you know she's there. There's Princess Pina Co Lada, with whom I have been friends with for some time, and who is getting better at kicking arse, along with her Rose Knights. And then, there's Rory Mercury. She looks like a thirteen year old Gothic Lolita, is actually over nine hundred years old, is the rather bloodthirsty envoy of the god of war and calamity, and can dice you up before you can say 'Avada Kedavra' with an oversized halberd. And we're friends.
If you still want to press the issue, go ahead. I'm sure that the Unspeakables will be all too happy to classify your deaths as 'suicide'.
Yours sincerely,
Harry Potter
Consort of Queen Tyuule of the Bunny Warriors
Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Quatermass. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol
Notes from Quatermass: Okay, I've got another one, some shameless plugging for my recently-released story "Parva Sub Ingenti", a crossover with "GATE: Thus The JSDF Fought There".