Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and Idiocracy belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.
Word Count: 604
Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #218
Submitted By: AzureNight1994
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Dear Ministry of Magical Idiots,
Of which case is very literal considering the current state of the world, but I suppose it makes too much sense to be a joke. I would question how the wizarding world still exists but, well I would be lying if I didn't believe you and you're ancestors to be complete and total idiots and that you were already an Idiocracy way before this age.
I'm honestly surprised you found me, considering you have the collective intellect of a wet noodle, or that you realized that I'm immortal. However I must refuse you're request, as firstly any child I have would die before me, much like my previous children. You know from hundreds of years ago, from my now deceased wife Ginerva 'Ginny' Weasley, the ones who were murdered.
If you are wondering whether I am any less displeased at the murder of my family, then no, no I am not. In-fact I am still quite pissed off. Not simply because you are interrupting my board game night with 'Death' (yes 'Death' with a capital 'D'), the Flamel's (No they didn't die), and Dracula CXLIII (Dracula 143. Apparently still a very popular name with the vampires). Today's game is Monopoly and I want to win.
But also because I became the defacto leader of the Theocracy/Cult/Country of 'New Crete' whilst the weather is lovely it does come with a lot of paperwork since:
A: I cannot allocate paperwork to idiots.
B: Whilst I have somewhat educated them, they are still a Theocracy/Cult which worships Thanatos, and I would be somewhat annoyed if they elect to kill in my name again. Though I suppose taking them on a trip to Britain might not be that bad...
C: Crete is probably the cleanest place since I took over and I very much like relaxing on the beach, and if I left I doubt I'd find it in the same condition I left it in... Probably with more corpses.
D: Convincing them not to spread the Olympian Hellenic religion and their patron Primordial Thanatos to others and not annexing other countries to make an empire would be more difficult if I'm not here, in-fact I wouldn't be surprised if they had started a world conquest.
So now that I have gotten that out of the way to simplify I'm already forced to be a leader to keep my comfy, relaxing vacation home from being wrecked and am procedurally telling you to shove your request up your arse.
But. Allow. Me. To. Dumb. Down. My. Reply. NO! I. Will. Not. Marry. Anyone. Go. A. Way.
From,
Harry Potter AKA
Thanatos, Master of Death, Immortal, and best Monopoly player
Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by AzureNight1994. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol
Notes from AzureNight1994: Just thought of one, a movie called 'Idiocracy' popped into my head so xover.