"Linn," Maisy whispered frantically, "Someone's knocking on the door!"
"Yeah?" Linn murmured, half asleep, "So?"
"I think Loki's back!"
"Den you two can talk like smart people stead of angry people," Linn pulled her covers higher over her head, "It's Saturday, I'm sleeping in, Maisy."
"Linn, please! Can you just open the door and see if it's him?"
The teenager moaned and looked at Maisy.
"What am I supposed to say if it is His Royal Stupidness?"
"I don't know," Maisy bit her lip anxiously, "I don't know! You're better at confrontations than I am!"
"Dat's not true," Linn comforted, "You did a swell job of kicking him out last night."
"I… I may have cried myself to sleep last night afterward," Maisy admitted, "I hate fighting! I don't know if I could stand another argument like last night!"
"You're stuck wif him for another few thousand years. Yer gonna hafta fight again eventually."
"Please? Just this morning can you talk to him first?"
"Ugh," Linn rolled off of her air mattress and pulled her blanket around her like a cloak, "Fiiiine. But if he gets tah calling me 'laundry maid' again I'll slam the door on him."
"Okay."
"You gonna hide in here?" Linn asked as she heard an impatient knock on the front door.
"Is that okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," Linn shuffled through the little apartment and opened the door enough to peek out, but not enough that she had to undo the deadbolt chain, "Hello?"
"Linn… is Maisy home?"
"Well, well, well, if it ain't Mr. I-don't-take-orders-from-laundry-maids," Linn undid the deadbolt and opened the door wider so he could see her angry face, "What're you doing back here?"
Loki sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. She allowed it.
"I apologize for what I said to you last night."
"Fanks. I know you didn't mean it, but it still hurt me feelings."
"I believe there is someone else that I owe an apology to if you will allow me entry."
"I dunno if she's ready to talk to you."
"Linn, please. I only wish to have a civil conversation with her. If she is not ready for that then I can leave, but will you at least ask her for me?"
"Fine. Just a sec," Linn slammed the door. She went back to her room and found Maisy hiding in the closet.
"Is it him?"
"Yup, he wants to know if you is ready for a civil conversation. I can tell him to scram if you ain't."
"I…" Maisy looked nervously in the direction of her husband, "I guess so. Okay. Let him in."
"Not yet," Linn said.
"What?"
"You ain't gonna talk to him looking like dat! As yer lady's maid I won't letcha."
"What do you mean?" Maisy caught a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror that was hanging from Linn's closet door, "Oh. Dang… I look terrible."
Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy and she had smudges of mascara all down her cheeks. Her hair was tangled and pointed in several directions. On top of that she was wearing nothing but baggy pajama pants and one of Loki's shirts.
"Quick, lemme fix you up," Linn produced a brush and quickly made Maisy's hair look presentable and then cleared her face of residual makeup, "You want more face stuffs or nah?"
"We don't have time!"
"Okie dokie, den we just gotta dress you up nice," Linn rushed to Maisy's room and selected a crisp white shirt and black skinny jeans, "No green, you hear me? Dat will just make him smug and I can't stand him when he's smug."
"Okay…"
"You look good. Tough as nails, right?"
"Right?"
"Good. Now take a seat and look all fancy-like on the futon and I'll let the rat in," Linn pulled Maisy over to the futon and sat her on top of the most comfortable of the mismatched cushions. They really needed to find an actual futon pad to go with the frame one of these days.
"He's not a rat, Linn!"
"I know, but he's is for now! Till he 'pologizes properly," Linn rushed back to the front door and flung it open, startling both Maisy and Loki. Using her blanket-cape to make a regal gesture, she ushered him in, "Maisy'll see you know. Behave or I'll get the pepper spray Black Widow gave me."
"Linn, I thought you accepted my apology," Loki said.
"I did, but you ain't good wif her yet so I gotta treatcha like dirt till you is."
Linn lead him in front of the futon and Maisy looked anywhere but at his face, feeling ridiculous and nervous. And possibly like she might start crying again.
"Could you leave?" She asked Linn, "Um, you can use my computer to watch a movie in your room or something."
"Sure fing. Total privacy and all dat," Linn nodded and vanished.
Once she was gone a heavy silence fell on the room and Maisy finally looked up at Loki standing before her. He looked tired and his hair was a mess. It was odd to see him frazzled over anything. She'd seen him look less than perfect before, of course, but when she knew that she was the reason behind it, she couldn't help but feel unnerved.
"Before either of us says anything," Loki sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I want to tell you how sorry I am for my behavior yesterday."
"Oh."
"I should not have manipulated you into a different conversation to take the blame away from myself," he frowned and looked away, "It occurred to me that, though I have used tricks to get what I want for nearly the entirety of my life and never felt guilt over it… I was filled with unease at doing it to you," he sighed and half smiled at her, "I suppose that's the downside to this love business, I can't do anything anymore without thinking about how it will affect you."
"I'm sorry too," she said in a relieved rush of air, "I shouldn't have yelled at you to go back to Asgard. That was childish of me. And I'm sorry for kicking you out. Were you okay last night?"
"I may be a bit sleep deprived, but otherwise I am well."
"Where'd you go?"
"I wandered until Stark called me to come in this morning."
"You didn't… get in any trouble or anything, right?"
"Nothing that hurt anyone," he sat down next to her, a few inches away, "But that isn't what we are here to discuss."
"Yeah," Maisy felt her heartbeat pick up speed. She did not want to talk about Egil's death. She didn't want to talk about him ever again if she could help it, but she knew she had to make her opinion known.
"I will not apologize for killing him," Loki stated firmly, but in a much more gentle tone than he'd used the night before, "I did what I thought was right."
"Okay," Maisy clasped her hands together in her lap and looked away from him, "I'm still mad that you killed him. I don't know if I can stop being mad about that."
"He kidnapped you!" He snapped, raising his voice. Before he could start yelling again he caught himself and sighed, "Maisy, I do not understand. Egil was nothing but a menace to your existence and a threat to our happiness. Why are you so enraged at the idea of him no longer being alive?"
"You don't understand," she looked back at him and gingerly picked up his hand, holding it close to her, "While part of me is sad that the guy who I dated for a long time is dead, Egil hadn't been that guy for a while. So, I'm not upset that he's dead. Not anymore. I realize that it's probably for the best."
"Then why-"
"Because you killed him, Loki," she squeezed his hand, "I don't care that it was horrible, evil, disgusting Egil. You killed someone."
"I've lost count of how many lives I've taken. You knew I had blood on my hands when we met," he said defensively.
"I know. So maybe it isn't fair of me to be upset now," she looked down and tangled their fingers together, "But I thought you'd stopped. I thought since you had done your time in Odin's prison and had your probation and everything that you were at least somewhat reformed."
"Reformed from what?" He laughed.
"From the guy who tried to conquer earth," Maisy leaned back against the bare frame of the futon, "I thought you were trying to be a good guy now."
"I… am," he leaned back with her, "But the good guys sometimes must do unsavory things as well, Maisy. Thor would have killed him if I hadn't. Would you have been so irate had Thor done the deed instead of I?"
"Thor isn't my husband."
Loki looked at her questioningly.
"I just," she lifted his hand to her face and pressed the back of it against her cheek, "I just have a hard time thinking that these hands - the hands that hold me so lovingly - could ever do something so rough as end someone's life."
"Maisy," he took her other hand with his free one, "Detestable as it may be, I will continue to kill. I am a prince of Asgard. It is my duty to protect the realms and that often leads to removing those who get in the way of that."
"I know, I know," she felt a tear slip down her cheek, "You and the Avengers probably killed a whole bunch of Hydra agents together. But what I don't understand is how you can do it all with a smile on your face."
"What do you mean?"
"I know all of the Avengers have killed people, but they never gloat and smirk about it like you do. You act like it's all a game! Like you're happy about it!"
"Sometimes I might enjoy myself a little too much," Loki admitted, "But that is in my nature. I enjoy most things that are chaotic. God of mischief and all that."
"Do you think that excuses your actions?"
"No," it was his turn to look away, "No, I suppose not. What would you have me do, Maisy? What will make you love me again?"
"I still love you," she said firmly, "I can't stop loving you. Just because I don't love the murderous part of you doesn't mean that I don't still love you as a whole."
"So where does that leave us?"
"Well," Maisy shrugged, "I don't know. I guess… I guess hearing all of these romantic stories growing up I always heard that you aren't supposed to change yourself for the person you love and if they ask you to change for them then they don't love you back. So… I can't exactly ask you to change, I guess."
"I disagree," Loki said, looking at her suddenly, "I think that we should encourage each other to change. What is a person without change, after all? Stagnant, static, unfinished."
"Yeah…"
"So if we ought to change ourselves anyway, then why should we not help each other spot when we need to do something different?" He let go of her hand and brushed his thumb against her cheek, "If we love each other then shouldn't we stop each other from doing self destructive things? To never change is foolish."
"That's true," Maisy felt the corner of her mouth lift a bit.
"That's why we've married isn't it? To commit ourselves to each other and help each other?" He was sitting up straighter now and Maisy could tell he would go on a long rant if she didn't cut him off soon.
"I agree."
"So why in the nine realms-"
"Loki, you can calm down. I agree. We should help each other change."
"What's that? Oh. Yes! Precisely," he took her hands again, "So, what would you have me do?"
"I know I can't ask you to stop going into battles and fighting," she said, "I know that's not going to work. And lately you've been fighting the bad guys so… I guess that's not so bad."
"You know more of Hydra than I do, but they do genuinely seem that they do not have the best intentions. In fact, their intentions seem rather awful."
"Yeah," Maisy nodded, "They're basically an offshoot of the Nazis. And the Nazis were terrible. And you fought those bandits back on Asgard. They were stealing from orphans so they weren't so great either."
"So you are fine with me attending to my duties."
"Yes."
"Then what can I strive to do differently?"
"Is there anyway you can… I dunno, enjoy it less? The killing, I mean."
"Any suggestions on how to go about doing that?" He laughed slightly.
"Maybe… maybe just realize that the people you're killing, they have people who care about them too. Even if they are doing something evil there are probably people who will miss them. Think about that next time you kill someone."
"Very well, I shall try."
"Thank you."
"Maisy?" Loki scooched closer to her, "Might I also state a point that I think could be improved upon?"
"Of course!"
"On rare occasions, when someone says that what they did was something that they thought would help you, they do actually mean to help you and not to make you feel like an infant."
"You're, uh, going to have to say that again in earth lingo."
"When I say that I did something 'for your own good', I do not always mean that I did not think you capable of taking care of yourself. Sometimes I do just want to help you."
Maisy winced.
"Yeah. Okay. That's... yup. Sorry."
"I understand that you are your own person and you can handle situations on your own, but when I, perhaps force you to stop sewing at two in the morning and tell you it is for your own good, then I'd quite like it if I didn't get lectured on being controlling."
"Have I done that?!"
"Only once. And, well, again when you were getting stitches," he pointed at the gauze still wrapped around her arm from the day before, "And I told you that you should listen to me when I tell you to go to the doctor."
"Alright, fair enough. I'll work on it."
They both laughed.
A note from the author: Excuse me as I go on a mini rant here. I just wanted to say that I don't think you should have to change the things that make you you in order to be with someone and if someone asks you to change something about yourself that is good and something you like then maybe that someone isn't the best for you. That being said, I am also hugely annoyed with the idea of "take me as I am and let me stay that way or don't take me at all". You should change for someone because you love them, not because they'll stop loving you if you don't. If that makes sense. In this random rant at the end of a chapter of fanfiction about a mass murderer. :P Anyway... just ignore this please.
Thank you so much for reading! I'm thinking I'm going to post another short chapter either tonight or tomorrow morning, so be on the look out of that! :D
Special thanks to my reviewers:
Ninja Squirrel: I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing over "angsty lil frosty boy". XD
Guest: Gotta remember the things that are important lol.
CheetahLover: They're working on it! Hopefully there will be no plotting that could come between them! That would be terrible! I'm sure that won't happen...
xlokiswolfx: CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING ACCEPTED TO UNIVERSITY! That's awesome! You are going to do great! It's going to be amazing! You'll make all sorts of friends and have all sorts of great experiences and learn lots of wonderful stuff! I'll be praying for you in the new chapter of your life! Congrats again!
Dragoncat: Agreed!
You guys are the best!:)