Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because both Harry Potter and She-Ra: Princess of Power belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 744

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #236
Submitted By: Architeuthis
Response to: Letter #80
===============================

To Madam Lilith Crawford
Head Director of Regulation of Magical Marriages Ministry Department

You, madam, are an imbecile, and Horde Prime is equally bereft of sense.

Upon meeting, Hordak and I quickly came to some conclusions, after much shouting and ill-grace on both our parts, beginning with the fact that we had absolutely no desire to marry each other.

We also deeply resented the Ministry and Horde Prime for forcing us into this farce of a relationship. We also agreed that we found each other physically repulsive. If I were to marry again, I assure you I would not choose a man who looked like something you'd find in a cave, had red teeth, and snorted like a pig between every few words when speaking.

I can only speculate that we were matched because of our prowess in Transfiguration. I have to admit I have never before encountered a Metamorphmagus who could transform parts of his own body into Muggle tools or weapons. As intriguing as that ability is, a shared interest in Transfiguration is a very slender reed on which to base a marriage.

In addition, Hordak is not human. If we did have children, they would be half-breeds, with all the societal and physical problems that entails. I thus suggested that we visit Healer Rhea Warrington to discuss the feasibility of having children before we did anything else.

Healer Warrington's face, when she saw us together, was a study and made it very plain that she foresaw… difficulties. "You can't be serious!" she exclaimed.

Hordak strode forward and slammed his Ministry letter on her desk. "Does this look like a joke to you?!" he snarled/snorted.

With somewhat more decorum, I presented Healer Warrington with my own letter. After examining the letters, Healer Warrington conceded they were genuine.

"They've lost their bloody minds," she said. "There are reasons half-breeds are rare. In addition, a majority of them are infertile. Even if you did have children, they probably wouldn't be able to have children themselves, which defeats the purpose of this insane marriage law. There are potions that can increase the physical compatibility between parents of different races, but even those won't guarantee the fertility or even the good health of a hybrid child."

"Can you get us out of this?" Hordak demanded. "We met two days ago, and we already know that we don't want to marry, much less have children together."

"I can write a letter describing all of the problems I foresee with your having a family together, and there are loads. Professor, forgive me, but how old are you?"

"I am eighty years old," I told her.

"That's well past reproductive age," she commented. "I'd need to give you a fertility potion, and some of those interact with compatibility potions in unpredictable ways that aren't good for the mother or their child."

We continued discussing the matter. At one point, Hordak admitted that he'd adopted his one daughter and had never sired a child. That meant he might need a fertility potion, too. Healer Warrington then cast diagnostic spells on us both and determined that the odds of us having healthy children together were remote. I have enclosed the results of her examination for your perusal.

To sum it all up, Hordak and I are not getting married, and we are most certainly not starting a family together.

Professor Minerva McGonagall

Headmistress of Hogwarts

Author's Notes:
This latest Marriage Law Rejection Letter update was recently submitted to my review box by Architeuthis. Thanks for the submission. If anyone else has any letters they want to submit, feel free to send them in. lol

Notes from Architeuthis: You can thank or blame Netflix for the above crackfic. I recently read that they are making a reboot of She-Ra, and that gave me this rabid plotbunny.